I have tried to learn Mandarin secretly from my Chinese in-laws and shared what I learned. Unfortunately, I had a whole hour of lecture on how bad accent I have is disrespectful and how I should not speak in Mandarin in front of them and others 😢 After 3 grandchildren still disputes me because I am not Chinese. It is very sad and a waste of years, and instead of flowerishing relationships and happiness, we still have conflicts. Therefore, I do not see her anymore. My only advice of almost 20 years of relationship is to meet your in-laws first before marry!!!!!!!! Luckily, my husband and I are in the same team support each other.
I'm sorry that happened to you. You must have felt devastated....However, you will now be able to find a man who is strong enough to stand up for you, defend you, protect you and make others respect you. It's best NOT to be married to a door mat or a 'Mama's boy'.
This was helpful, and encouraging, some of it was common sense(I say this in the sense of when given heed to considering a different culture), but I hope I can make a good impression when the time comes.
Learn their language- on the other hand I learned mandarin since I was small, however growing up I stopped speaking the language so my accent is a bit off. What happened was my MIL started to make fun of my accent and exaggerated it to the point that sounded so annoying. I stopped speaking chinese with them so they could just speak their broken english 😂
Oh wow I am so sorry to hear this! It is so discouraging to try to honor and respect someone else's language only to be mocked. I think it's awesome that you at least know (even if you aren't fluent in) more than one language!
Idk what to do cause I want to tell my parents that I have a boyfriend who is 2 years older than me but he's very respectful of me and my decisions. He is also a hard worker, who tries so hard. He also planning to join the military and also me who wants to be a combat doctor in the army. Idk what to do because he's 16 and I'm 14 and yes I might be at a young age to date but I feel like I met someone who I'm really close to as a friend and as a lover. We both have many similarities from favourite colours, sports, things to do, and etc. And we also almost have the same personalities, likes and dislikes as well. To sum up, I am nervous and don't know how to tell my parents cause I'm scared and they might say that I am still young and I shouldn't be doing it. But I really love him, and I think my parents might like him but I'm scared to tell them.
Man, what a hard situation to be in! Since I don't know you or your parents, I can't speak specifically to your situation but in general, if one has a good, trusting relationship with their parents, it is always good to be open and honest with them. You may not like their response but if they are emotionally healthy, stable parents, they are out to guide and protect you. If you don't have a good relationship with your parents, or if they are not emotionally stable, that's a more complicated issue and if it were me (again not speaking directly to your situation), I'd find a trusted adult like a teacher or counselor who can give me some good advice based on what they know of me. Hope that helps and good luck to you!
Thanks! The "speak when spoken to", "hold off on opinions" thing is something I hadn't realized, good to know. When it comes to the bill, I've heard a good trick is to excuse yourself to "use the washroom" and then hand your credit card to your server. Would that be considered too aggressive as a woman? I wish I could ask my boyfriend about this stuff, but I'll be the first girl he introduces to his parents. His sisters each brought a boy home before - one didn't go great, and the other went disastrously (his skin was too dark for their taste...) so he doesn't really know what advice to give
Congratulations on being the first girl to be introduced to parents! I would say if you are the girlfriend, you shouldn't pay the bill. Instead I would bring a nice gift like tea and/or nice cookies and a give a genuine thank you. Good luck!
Sad that skin color is still an issue with asian parents. If he is kind, respectful, and successful, why should skin color hold any merit? I love asian cultures, but the whole colorism thing really is a thorn that they have.
This is a great question! I would say it's especially true for a male but for a female you should at least offer and insist gently. But don't get too aggressive, this could be seen as disrespectful. I usually see the real "fighting" between peers eg sisters, brothers, friends etc. Good luck!
I have tried to learn Mandarin secretly from my Chinese in-laws and shared what I learned. Unfortunately, I had a whole hour of lecture on how bad accent I have is disrespectful and how I should not speak in Mandarin in front of them and others 😢 After 3 grandchildren still disputes me because I am not Chinese. It is very sad and a waste of years, and instead of flowerishing relationships and happiness, we still have conflicts. Therefore, I do not see her anymore. My only advice of almost 20 years of relationship is to meet your in-laws first before marry!!!!!!!! Luckily, my husband and I are in the same team support each other.
My bf parents ruined my relationship. They forced him to marry a girl from China. Hated me for being Mexican
Tell them to fuck off and tell your boyfriend to choose.
Honestly, you dodged a bullet! You can never please Asian in laws. You'll find someone much better!
I'm sorry that happened to you. You must have felt devastated....However, you will now be able to find a man who is strong enough to stand up for you, defend you, protect you and make others respect you. It's best NOT to be married to a door mat or a 'Mama's boy'.
I'm so sorry to hear. This must have been incredibly hurtful for you. I hope that you have found your peace.
@@kittyc-nycI learned the hard way 😢& Still .....
This was helpful, and encouraging, some of it was common sense(I say this in the sense of when given heed to considering a different culture), but I hope I can make a good impression when the time comes.
Good luck to you! 😊👍
Learn their language- on the other hand I learned mandarin since I was small, however growing up I stopped speaking the language so my accent is a bit off. What happened was my MIL started to make fun of my accent and exaggerated it to the point that sounded so annoying. I stopped speaking chinese with them so they could just speak their broken english 😂
Oh wow I am so sorry to hear this! It is so discouraging to try to honor and respect someone else's language only to be mocked. I think it's awesome that you at least know (even if you aren't fluent in) more than one language!
This might help me thanks for this 😅👍🏻
You're welcome! Thanks for watching and good luck to you!
@LAW bruhh i m asian american from China🙄
Idk what to do cause I want to tell my parents that I have a boyfriend who is 2 years older than me but he's very respectful of me and my decisions. He is also a hard worker, who tries so hard. He also planning to join the military and also me who wants to be a combat doctor in the army. Idk what to do because he's 16 and I'm 14 and yes I might be at a young age to date but I feel like I met someone who I'm really close to as a friend and as a lover. We both have many similarities from favourite colours, sports, things to do, and etc. And we also almost have the same personalities, likes and dislikes as well. To sum up, I am nervous and don't know how to tell my parents cause I'm scared and they might say that I am still young and I shouldn't be doing it. But I really love him, and I think my parents might like him but I'm scared to tell them.
Man, what a hard situation to be in! Since I don't know you or your parents, I can't speak specifically to your situation but in general, if one has a good, trusting relationship with their parents, it is always good to be open and honest with them. You may not like their response but if they are emotionally healthy, stable parents, they are out to guide and protect you. If you don't have a good relationship with your parents, or if they are not emotionally stable, that's a more complicated issue and if it were me (again not speaking directly to your situation), I'd find a trusted adult like a teacher or counselor who can give me some good advice based on what they know of me. Hope that helps and good luck to you!
I will buy 1 metric ton of oranges
LOL! You will never go wrong with oranges!
I've heard (for China at least) 8 is the number to get - very lucky
@@Tsukaiyo Damn I guess he has to 8 metric ton now😔
Thanks! The "speak when spoken to", "hold off on opinions" thing is something I hadn't realized, good to know. When it comes to the bill, I've heard a good trick is to excuse yourself to "use the washroom" and then hand your credit card to your server. Would that be considered too aggressive as a woman?
I wish I could ask my boyfriend about this stuff, but I'll be the first girl he introduces to his parents. His sisters each brought a boy home before - one didn't go great, and the other went disastrously (his skin was too dark for their taste...) so he doesn't really know what advice to give
Congratulations on being the first girl to be introduced to parents! I would say if you are the girlfriend, you shouldn't pay the bill. Instead I would bring a nice gift like tea and/or nice cookies and a give a genuine thank you. Good luck!
@@therapywithlia Thank you so much! Will do!
Sad that skin color is still an issue with asian parents. If he is kind, respectful, and successful, why should skin color hold any merit? I love asian cultures, but the whole colorism thing really is a thorn that they have.
@@kyleporter7509the older generation is very racist! Hopefully younger generation is wiping away all the colours!
Be a lawyer, doctor or engineer
Does the 'fighting over the bill' pertain to both the male and the female or only the male?
This is a great question! I would say it's especially true for a male but for a female you should at least offer and insist gently. But don't get too aggressive, this could be seen as disrespectful. I usually see the real "fighting" between peers eg sisters, brothers, friends etc. Good luck!