Straight Men Need To Be Stopped | Chosen Family Podcast
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
- Alayna reads us her calendar, Ashley just woke up, and Mak gets on her soapbox about something alarming that cis straight men are up to. The fam also answer questions about fantasy versus identity, the existence of truly unconditional love, and share experiences of queer joy.
FOLLOW CHOSEN FAMILY
TikTok: / chosenfamilypod
Instagram: / chosenfamilypod
RUclips: / @chosenfamilypod
FOLLOW ASHLEY GAVIN @ashgavs
TikTok: / ashgavscomedy
Instagram: / ashgavs
RUclips: / @ashgavs
Twitter: / ashgavs
FOLLOW ALAYNA JOY @MissFenderr
RUclips: / missfenderr
Instagram: / missfenderr
Twitter: / missfenderr
TikTok: / missfenderr
FOLLOW MAK INGEMI @Makingemi
Instagram: / makingemi
TikTok: / makingemi
RUclips: / makingemi
JOIN OUR CHOSEN FAMILY PATREON
/ chosenfamilypodcast
mak’s reaction to alayna singing “i’m just ken” 😭😭
Best entrance ever.
Was that the first time neither Ashley nor Alayna corrected Mak when she said she was hot teenage brother? 🫢
I think so too. (And thought it nice.)
But Mak is baby 🙈💜
I noticed too!!!
I noticed that too!!!! Congratulations Mak you are now no longer sucking on the Podcast Pacifier. Enjoy getting to use real cutlery before Mum&Dad notice. I’m sure Almond mom Elena will have you back in the PBA Free little spoons and safety scissors in no time. 🍼✂️🥣👩👩👧👶🏻
Doctor says water improves mood.. Ashley says hell no, I choose anger! 😄
Dehydration leads to the dark side...
@@vegawinter6099 😄
Ashley is going to tell you to go unalive yourself.
Mak’s eyes when Alayna said “you look hot!”😂😂😳😳
Mak telling her experience with loud noises was very helpful for me to realize im not alone in this experience. I know many people are noise senstive but having emotional and sensory beakdowns over it made me feel isolated many times, a little shoutout to a shared experience will remain in my head the next time i feel such way
🐦
Mak's rants are the best "Public transportation is phenomenal, we should all take it more." 16:39 I'm sound sensitive too, btw. I TOTALLY relate to the noise issues.
Hi babes, I just wanted to thank you for existing basically. Last week I went out for the first time in 3 years after being house bound because of my anxiety, it was so hard and I hated every second of it but your podcast made the experience not so bad. I'm going out today too and will definitely listen to the episode while doing my exposure. Love you always my gay family ❤️
That’s impressive as shit, good job
that's amazing! ❤
Happy for you that you found that tool to help you go out. I'm not at your stage of indoor bound but I fight it almost every day, 1 of my tool is to put music that I love only in my car, so it's kind of helping me, every time I sit in my car I got that little happy moment of listening to that music. Keep on going, one little happy moment at a time
Woah that a takes a lot of courage! I'm proud of you! That first time out in three years must've been really hard, but it's the first step, and hopefully with each step it gets easier. I hope you're doing well ❤ ! Good Luck!
ik my experience isn’t as near as yours, but as a person with anxiety, listening to their podcast helps soo much 😭 glad they helped you :)
Mak : nobody's going to say anything about my mug?
That is me in every social situation ever.
Nobody said BABYYYYY during Maks introduction 😂😅
Ashley's dehydration martyrdom for her cause really brought a lot of raw, realness to this episode. I have eaten my breakfast and now I am sitting on it.
I’m going to assume that this is an English saying and you are not actually sitting on your breakfast because that can’t be comfortable
@@hi-yo1kq It is when it's still warm.
for the unconditional love question:
It is my belief that there are two parts of love: the love you choose and the love you feel. Love that's a choice isn't unconditional, because if that person does something horrible that choice can be taken back. I like to think of it as consent. Consent isn't unconditional, it's freely given and can be taken back. The love you can feel can totally be unconditional, because that's an emotion you feel. The person might be horrible but still after losing them you're still sad, because the love was still there. If you just stopped that care, you wouldn't really be sad about losing that person, only about what crime they did. I like to think of the unconditional love you feel as unconditional no matter what happens, and you can work on moving on from it. The moving on isn't a condition for the other person, it's a choice for yourself, and then the love maybe eventually stops. That doesn't make the love conditional, because 'condition' says that if the person you love does this thing you will stop loving them, but unconditional love is more if the person you love does this thing, you'll have to work to stop loving them.
You explained it so beautifully. I totally agree. I think this kind of unconditional love allows us to choose and respect ourselves while loving someone. Those two things shouldn't cancel each other out.
This is really interesting, I like this way of thinking about it!
THANK YOU ASHLEY for saying that you didn’t get any queer joy from the Barbie movie, I felt the exact same way
The fantasy question has been such a huge thing for me trying to explore potentially being bi so thanks to whoever wrote in, you're not alone in your confusion! Trying to seperate out what desires are fantasty/romantic/platonic etc is a minefield when you have limited real life experiences.
The way Bugs just looks up at you listing all the tasks like..."Mom, I get that you hide the holidays and have lots to do but please stop moving. I'm gonna fall" 😂 We love dehydrated loopy doopy Ashley, btw. 😂😂
Alayna's giggle's in this is so adorable! ive never heard her giggle like that before. so cute
Mac, I need you to know Tom Welling has a podcast with Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor) called Talkville where they go through every episode of Smallville and talk about the plot, memories they have from filming, the characters, and they sometimes have guests on that were also on the show (Lana, Johnathan Kent, Lionel Luthor and so on). They're on season three.
Smallville is also my comfort show 😂
Time for a new trend: #loveinthebeepboops Ashley needs it. We know you read these, and we know that you are wonderful and helpful in so many ways. Wet or dry.
The Halloween mug is ADSOSPOOKLY ADORABLE❤❤❤😍😍😍❤❤ I'm laughing so much in this episode already!!!😂😂 I am sending so much love around all three of you and those you love❤🥰🥰
I remember that episode with Irene about the lovely therapist. I still hear Kate's voice yelling "BIKE LANE! BIKE LANE!" and Ashely yell-responding "QUEER LONGING! QUEER LONGING!" 🤣😂
The absolute chaos of this episode just hinged on their pure chemistry. 😂😂😂
The loud car talk is so funny to me because it’s true!! you can tell from the sound when it’s a teenage boy who just got their first car, and what Alayna said about boys just straight piping their car and thinking it’s the same as getting a nice muffler is reality for most of them!! on the rare occasion someone has a nice exhaust and it’s nice to hear but we definitely aren’t talking about you guys when we say please stop!!!
I watched Barbie 3 times in the theater. Once alone because it was SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD! It is visually stimulating, funny, smart, educational, and true! Soo good.
I'm a couple weeks behind on episodes, and I'm in my hometown this weekend sick as hell. So thank y'all for making me laugh to help me feel a bit better ❤
I think it is possible to love a person unconditionally (definitely children), while not loving a decision or behaviour from that person
There is no way the kind of men who have super loud cars and make more noise when they see you cover your ears are watching this podcast.
Nobody likes loud noises, but it's not typical to be as affected by it as Mak is describing here. Most people don't have that strong an emotional response to noise. I know, because some noises, like loud car and motor cycle engine noises (though not the hissing of the busses), but also a couple of other things, affect me similarly because of my misophonia*. Though my typical emotional response isn't panic like it seems to be with Mak, but 0-100 irrational anger. 😬 The little research that's been done into misophonia seems to indicate that there are extra connections in the brain that create a shortcut between your auditory processing area and the area that is responsible for your fight-or-flight response. So, that seems to check out, at least in my experience.
*The spell check doesn't recognize the word misophonia and tries to correct it to "saxophonist". That's hilarious so I thought I'd share.
I believe every child born deserves unconditional love and that includes the inner child in all of us. To expand on what Alayna said, the amount of love we have for ourselves is the portal through which all other love comes in or goes out and when we love ourselves unconditionally we can love others unconditionally whether that's up close and intimately or from a safe distance.
I lost track but with no 50 episode are we close to 1 year anniversery?? Love you famelly :-)
Close! It looks like they uploaded the first one 10 months ago when I scroll back? Time flies
Ashley: "Our water's on fire!"
Me: "Well, that's not a good sign."
Mak have you tried Loop or similar brands that have ear buds to reduce noise?
Love u guys this is my favourite pod ever
"The Gangs Back Together!!!" After everyone joins in singing "I'm just Ken"❤❤😂😂😂 I laughed so hard!! Thank you for this podcast!!!🥰🥰🥰
Ashley talking a whole hour without liquid is very impressive
On love; learning to love yourself is very hard and real. Bell Hooks - All About Love is an incredible book that really helps us look at love throughout our lives.
In this way defining love helps us take steps towards it ❤
All love, thank you chosen family!
Sending Ashley love ♥️♥️
Elite Halloween Mug, it's a menace. 🤖
Another podcast, another comment of me asking Alayna for a Plant Tour!! 🪴💚🪴💚🪴💚🪴
Could be watching this ad free on the Patreon, but I’m watching it on RUclips for the algorithm push. Amazing episode as always guys, definitely the best podcast around 💙
the unconditional love question is SO interesting. I'm training to be a person-centred counsellor, and one of the key concepts in that modality is 'unconditional positive regard' which, essentially, means to accept a person no matter your difference in values. of course (in the broadest stroke) murderers are going to need therapy, and said therapist can't skirt around the fact that they are a murderer, because that helps no one. to have love for a person regardless of who they are or what they've done is unconditional positive regard- the greeks called it 'agape': love for humanity as a whole.
a note to say obviously you can't apply this to every relationship you have- that would be exhausting. i'm speaking strictly about a therapist x client relationship
Straight cis man here. I drive a Prius, so right there with you Mak :). Quiet car plz
When mom and dad are forced to like something their kid loves 😂😂
Im hoping ashley had some liquid after this 😂 love this podcast 💜
i love the mug mak
Here is how I see unconditional love. When a baby is born and their parent takes one look at them and loves them, that is unconditional love. The baby did not have to do anything to earn that love. The baby is loved because they exist.
So sort of to agree with Alayna, I see unconditional love as extending that same kind of feeling to everyone. They may do things that hurt and accept you but they were once just a baby and deserve love for simply existing. You do not have to interact with people who have hurt you or others, you do not have to excuse their actions but you can always keep in mind they are just a person who once never did anything that hurt anyone. To recognize that and keep it in mind allows for greater compassion. It turns "I hope they suffer for the harm they have done" into "I hope they work on themselves and heal their hurts that make them hurt others and find peace and happiness"
Oh and to add on to that based on their further comments, the reason I see extending unconditional love to others even if they have hurt you (again this is not excusing or permitting bad behaviour just seeing past that to their core humanity), is that how can you say you deserve love and compassion and kindness if you place conditions on others. Learning to give love and compassion to murderers and transphobes and stuff has allowed me to love myself more completely. We are all human. Absolutely no adult has ever made it through life without hurting each other. We all have baggage and trauma. So it's understanding that making mistakes does not make you unworthy of love. Again you are still responsible/accountable for your actions but you deserve compassion regardless and so do even the most vile criminals because they weren't born that way. They are that way because of their circumstance so instead of ill will I extend "I hope that pain in you is healed and that freedom leads to you hurting less people"
YALL THIS IS THE FIRST TIME ALAYNA DIDNT CORRECT MAK ABT BEING “Hot Teenage Older Brother”
we’re growing up😪😪😪
Where I live busses don't just hiss when they stop, they also *beep* and *scream* and I always have to rush to get my headphones on when they draw up
alayna taking forever to show up and then when she finally does, all she does is sing ‘I’m just ken’ is what powers our nation
You're absolutely right Mac Boy meets World absolutely jumped the shark or just took a nosedive after the first few seasons. Best comfort show ever!
34:43 I'm so with you Alayna. I still love the person who broke my heart and trust but I now, with the help of you and my therapist, can see that she did things both at the end of our relationship and during it that weren't okay. I can recognize that she took advantage of my love and willingness to do anything for her and i can even see that reconnecting wouldn't be a good idea if things went back to the way they were. I am going to be a bummer here and say that I don't believe that anyone, except maybe my immediate family, could live me unconditionally and that includes myself. I'm working on it but it's still very dependent on the day.
loved the episode as always, i hope all of you are happy and healthy❤
Hey, absolutely love the podcast!! Just wanted to let you know that I was listening to this episode on Spotify, and there seem to be some bits that are repeated, or that cut out. I’m pretty sure it’s not just on my device, so wanted to let you know 💗
the start to this episode is so chaotic i cannot wait to watch the rest lol
Fiquei cansada só de escutar a Alayna lendo a agenda dela... e ela ainda ia (talvez) aceitar um emprego?! Hahahaha
Acabei de escutar o podcast anterior
On unconditional love: my first thought was that it only applies to familial love. Like you have ties to each other that exist regardless of your current feelings towards them. This doesn't always apply - for example, neglectful parents or other more complicated situations - but generally I feel like families will always be there for each other because of this deeper bond, regardless of what's going on on the surface, and that's what I think of as unconditional love. This is something I think about quite a lot as an only child with parents who are getting older and no aunts/uncles/cousins etc. because I think I would/will feel completely untethered when the time comes that they're no longer around because of the loss of that deeper level of unconditional love that isn't a choice in the way it is with friends/partners. I was trying to think if this would be possible to re-create with a partner and my initial feeling was no, but then I thought about a partner of multiple decades where so many of your life moments and memories are intrinsically tied to this person and it felt more possible. Which made me think that maybe that's part of why we have this bond with family in the first place - because they are the constants that are intrinsically tied into our lives and memories - like trees that have grown twisted together - you can branch out in different directions or go your separate ways after a point but that tie at the bottom, in the past, will always be there, and that's the unconditional part I think.
F*** loud car sounds I hate them too, thanks for addressing it. I have lived in an urban area for ten years, and it’s just out of control! Not to mention the freaking LED super bright headlights
Best thing about Labor Day? No one that works at any grocery store, food place, etc. that’s considered minimum wage gets Labor Day off 🙃
I do understand the point you are making, but also, society can’t fully shut down on all holidays right? I would prefer to get paid double for working Labor Day than having the day off but having nothing to do since everything would be closed. Can’t run errands, can do events, can’t do shit.
@zackeryh250 In other parts of the world we do close on Labor Day. You can choose to work and get double pay or take the day off. People make their plans knowing this is going to happen. Only essential services remain functioning during that day. I'm not sayingour way should be your way, just that it can be done and it's not the end of the world.
One time ive just lost my muffler and was way to broke too fix it and i was in traffic they was a dirt bike next to me who started looking at his dirt bike trying to figure out what was that noise! I was so embassared 😅😅😅
This podcast is soooooooo goooddd ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Mak you and your gf need to listen to the boy meets pod podcast. Has Eric Shaun and Topanga as the hosts and they go over EVERYTHING about making the show, secrets EMOTIONS! all of it, it's so good
NO WAYYY
Boy Meets World was my favorite show for years. I did like the later seasons but I absolutely know what you're talking about with the dumbing down of characters. Especially Eric, he was very 3-Dimensional early on and then he became the most himbo boy I've ever seen. And I could see that bothering people. I think probably because I was really young when I first started watching it, I did really enjoy the silliness later on, and now it's nostalgic for me.
I agree on all accounts! ❤
+
Cooking shows are my comfort watch too
The Boy Meets World Disney reveal makes so much sense. Now I have to rewatch scenes. Eric Matthews is a babe. ❤
i’m catching up on podcasts and i’m trying so hard to work out and i’m just dying laughing it’s ruining everything pls help
Idk if I’ve fantasized about things I don’t like. I figured fantasy was more about desires. But I’ve had fantasies that definitely wouldn’t be as great in real life for sure.
SO TRUE about boy meets world!!
seeing the movie bottoms was queer joy for me ♥️
Kind of straight cis man here (it's complicated), while I do enjoy loud car noises at car shows etc., I don't enjoy them as much 'in the wild'. If you have a loud car, maybe don't be loud next to pedestrians; it is not impressive.
Mak was right Ashley we weren’t asking you to go in dry 😂 get some water and some coffee if you need!!
The Barbie movie also made me newly appreciate Ryan Gosling.🥰
I’m dying 😅 girl now like loud noise too
Cis-straight white dude here...I'm so sorry mak, if I knew how to solve this issue, I would have done so a LONG time ago.
This podcast is my queer joy
Mak is 100% correct about "Boy Meets World". Thanks for saying it.
OMG I LOVE U GUYS
I use the same LaCie 2 TB backup drives. Great value for them.
“I’m just Ken!” 😂🥰😂🥰
For some reason I can't believe NY city has super clean water 🤣
i agree with your boy meets world opinion. im a teenager so grew up on girl meets world but wanted to go back and watch bmw so i understood the characters more however i did really struggle to watch all of the episodes of bmw as it definitely started to go down hill and lose its importance i guess.
As a trans man, I stand up for my right to express my masculinity with loud exhaust on my truck and motorcycles.
I find it transphobic that you want to silence my expression.
"I am f*ckless and dry." Genius.
I get the same thing with cars as Mak does and the person that lives across the street from me always has a loud car… (they are in a motorcycle gang😬)
Did not expect the boy meets world reference! Wow
Ashley, it’s called tournament of champions by the way
Does anyone have any suggestions for pod's that have conversations like these, specifically how Alayna speaks? This is my favourite pod but once a week for therapeutic and deep conversations is not enough!! Would love to have some others to top me up in between, keep that growth mindset growing :) Thanks!
I feel Mak's pain. I don't like loud noises either. Like, I get irrationally angry at emergency vehicle's sirens around here. I don't feel like it's a thing I should be able to hear miles away through a wall, and noise isolating headphones on, yet it is a thing I regularly hear. I don't think anything should be that obnoxiously loud. I understand WHY they're loud, I just don't understand why they need to be THAT loud. They're still driving the speed limit just like everyone else, so they're not going be rear ending anyone at half the distance if they reduce the volume *slightly*. It's also really hard to miss the obscenely bright flashing lights even if they miss the audio cue. If someone misses both... they should lose their license. They would have to be deaf and blind, and should not be permitted to drive in the first place! vehicles with short/bad/no mufflers, also very annoying, I agree.
Look into misophonia.
@@JanneBernards That encompasses things that wouldn't be considered a noise ordinance violation, like sipping, slurping, chewing and breathing. the level of noise i'm referring to would get either of us a ticket on a day cops feel like doing their job. As rare as those days may be. 🤣
The irrational anger is a tip off though. That's not a "normal" reaction to a noise, even a very loud one.
@@JanneBernards Well.. I do have ADHD, so default reaction to being unceremoniously ripped out of a hyper-focused state is irrational anger. Mostly because it takes so long to get into one in the first place. Loud noises such as sirens tends to be the biggest reason for it. 🤣 idk, maybe i'd be desensitized to it a lot more, if I lived in a big city or something rather than out in the middle of no where. I worded it as "irrational anger" because i know that's not the normal neurotypical response to such things. It's not normal, because i'm not normal. 🤷
My ex would say... The highest level of unconditional love she could expect from a partner is not asking what's wrapped up in the rug when she asks me to help bury it in the middle of nowhere.
Ashley sounded a bit like Capitan Jack Sparrow here😂 31:44
To the part about the obnoxiously loud vehicles, modded to be that way, not stock…I agree with Mak. And I’m from a small yee yee town too. Benson, NC. Johnston county. We have a thing called Mule Days. It’s something that benson is very well known for 😂and while the appreciative nature of what it comes from and all is there, modern days there are hardly any mules. You see golf carts and drunkards on horses and everyone and their mother are in their jacked or squatted trucks with their unnecessarily loud yee yee mufflers and flags upon flags sticking out of the bed of the truck. Along with the pools of people chilling riding in the back. (Which. I enjoy doing that. The fresh air is fantastic. 🤣)
Long story short. I hate the overly loud noises and shit too.
Mak's eyes went so wide after Alayna said "You look hot" 👀
🤣😂
It's the "ladeedadeedoodedoo" for me
Yeah I also stopped watching boy meets world around the middle of season 4… didn’t know it’s because of Disney but that totally checks out
Oh, I am so in for shaming loud car guys. Cis straight dude, and I hate that so much. There's even studies about how much common noise levels are actively damaging us emotionally and physically.
I used to part my hair on the side for the longest time but now I part it down the natural middle part that it gives me🤣
Oop! Glad to be a trans gay guy. I have no buddies like that.
Plus, Mak, the HP microaggression..... 😂😂😂😂
New York City water is fabulous!!
Ashley drink water!!!
Wait, I should drink water too. I keep forgetting.
Wait... Mak is not baby anymore??? OMG they grow up so fast. 😂❤❤❤
CIS men big car noises = compensating
My brother literally installed a switch when he hits it his truck is twice as loud
I personally think that unconditional love means you’ll always love them and care for them but if they do something horribly wrong you can’t stay with them or stay IN love with them. Just to put it simply