I don't think he was necessarily trying to commit burglary. He wanted to skip school and thought that the empty house would be a good place to hang out for the day.
@@hopemccubbin8661 Especially 14 year old boys, they're often adventurous. He was just out exploring, looking for a place to hide away from the world. I'm sure mental health was a factor too. I feel so bad for the kid
I didn't think he was committing a burglary either. I think he has so upset and wanted to get in that house to stay overnight. Then parents would have changed their minds about a new phone when he got back home
The thought of that boy in the chimney for nearly 4 weeks....the amount of decomposition that had already taken place...i cant imagine being the police officer that stuck their arm in the pipe and FELT HIM INSIDE...horrific. RIP little man 😢
Poor boy suffered an agonizing death. I cannot imagine the panic that would set in realizing I was indefinitely stuck in a chimney with no way to call for help and no hope of a rescue. Great analysis and having compassion for ones mental illnesses should come naturally. It's hard to think some ppl wouldn't have compassion for this boy just because he was unlawfully entering this home. Thank you for another great video and all your hard work daily researching these cases and uploading new videos. You're the best RUclipsr out here, Dr. Grande.❤
@@GrinninPig I'm conservative/libertarian and yet still have the compassion not to wish this on anybody. I feel horrible for the parents too. What's more, I know many people who would hold all of these same views as me. Hence, I don't agree with your generalization. At least we feel the same way about Dr. Grande though.
@@GrinninPig Huh? What a highly inappropriate and strangely perplexing comment about a boy with mental illness. 😒 Tragedies like this happen to various types of families, and public opinion will similarly vary.
@@GrinninPig That is an ignorant comment, lacking any fact. Just because you don't politically agree with people, doesn't mean they lack compassion. 🙄 that literally has got to be one of the most ignorant, dividing, comment I've heard in a while. Shows you just assume a specific group of people are blanketed under one stereotype and actually you just came across as someone that way.
Poor boy. And he was so close to home all that time. I think it’s a clear example of death by misadventure; didn’t realize the dangers of navigating a chimney and when you’re that young, you don’t really grasp your own mortality 😢
Modern chimneys will have a grill across the top to keep people from climbing in. It's highly recommended that people with older chimneys retrofit them to have a grill. I've heard of at least 1 other case than Dr Grande mentioned. Most people have never lived in a house with a fireplace and have no idea that chimneys narrow as they go down and that will kill someone.
How did he manage to remove pieces of clothing while he was lodged into such a tight space? Dr Grande theory makes no sense whatsoever, as usual he is being lazy and just trying to go along whatever version (no matter how absurd) the authorities put forward.
I still don't see how he could be so compressed and suffocate yet there were holes to push clothing out, and also remove his clothing. He might not have wanted to rob anyone, just hide out or explore a vacant house. Odd case that just seems to leave an uncomfortable feeling.
In the late 18th and 19th century in Britain and other parts of Europe, small children were regularly employed by adult master sweeps (who were far too big to fit into chimneys) to climb up and down chimneys in order to brush and sweep out debris in clogged chimneys. Quite a few "climbing boys", some of them as young as 5 yrs old (and therefore very small and able to fit into some tight corners in these narrow and twisting chimneys) never made it out alive. They got stuck in a tight spot and as soot fell on them and they were lodged tight in a very small space, died of asphyxiation. There is just not enough airflow in such spaces when your body is taking up practically all the space as well as the restricted air circulation.
I doubt he was trying to rob anyone. As someone with ADHD and potentially autism as well, curiosity seems much more likely. I've never seen a house I'm not curious to see the inside of!
@@13donstalos I believe in some countries the term "breaking and entering" rather than burglary would be used in such a situation where nothing was taken but illegal entry was made into a property. This difference may be thr cause of confusion in this discussion.
Just an horrific way to die. About thirty years ago, if I recall correctly, a kid about Harley’s age fell through a rotting floor in an abandoned grain elevator on the north shore of Lake Erie. The place should have been demolished years earlier. Kids used to climb up there and smoke pot and fool around with girls, etc. This poor kid fell into an air shaft and got trapped similarly to Harley. He must have been alone at the time, because nobody found him until months later, and the M. E. determined that he died slowly of dehydration and exposure. He might have taken a week or more to die. God rest the poor kid’s soul.
When I was 13-15, I used to do stuff like this fairly often. As wrong and disrespectful as my behavior was, my motivations really weren’t malicious. It was sheer boredom and a drive to explore. We humans are natural explorers. When you take a bored teenager and put them in a place in which there are no mysteries or adventures, they sometimes seek out shady opportunities to find their adventure. I remember climbing around on rooftops, climbing through ventilation shafts, and even using a makeshift grappling-hook to explore places I had no business being. I can 100% imagine myself doing the same thing this kid did. It’s impossible to excuse the behavior… especially now that I’m nearly 55 years-old and have an immense respect for other people’s property… but I can definitely give insight into what might have been going on in his mind. I was never out to burglarize anything. It was all about the exploration and curiosity. Simple adventure-seeking. I’m sure he knew that no one was living in the house, and he just wanted to explore.
Mu older brother was always like that when we were younger too. He squished me through a widow of an abandoned house one day and I got a nail stuck in my foot. I didn't want to go in the house but I didn't want to not have him and his friends to get mad at me and send me back home. 😂so I did as he said. Teenage boys, especially can be mischievous. This poor boy died such a horribly agonizing and slow death, my heart goes out to his family.
There's an animal behavior book titled "Wildhood" that shows that almost all complex animals that go through an adolescent phase exhibit risk-taking behaviors that accelerate their learning process during that phase. So adventure seeking is only about boredom on the surface - on a deeper level it's a species survival mechanism. But anything in life backfires once it's taken too far.
@@craigfinnegan8534 Thank you for bringing this important subject up. From womb to tomb across the intergenerational human developmental life span, exposure to internal and external environmental toxins, Adverse Childhood Experiences, a lack of Maslow's deficiency and growth needs being met during critical growth periods, and adolescent apoptosis, shape neurobiology. Carlo C. Maley's review of Barbara Natterson-Horowitz's and Kathryn Bowers' Wildhood: The Epic Journey from Adolescence to Adulthood in Humans and Other Animals (2020) is available at the National Institutes of Health. In my personal and professional opinion, given the lack of mental health resources currently available, dealing with a combination of ASD, ADHD, and ODD risk factors would be extremely difficult for most parents of whatever socioeconomic status. Spokane Regional Health District's 1-2-3 Trauma-Sensitive Toolkit for Caregivers is an invaluable resource. Trauma-Informed Care of Oregon's guiding principles of trauma-informed care are a) safety; b) trustworthiness and transparency; c) peer support and mutual self-help; d) collaboration and mutuality; e) empowerment, voice, and choice; and f) cultural, historical, and gender issues. Good interpersonal relationships help individuals cope with life's challenges via the process of linking mutual communication, cooperation, collaboration, coordination, correction, commitment, and compromise, but that is difficult for spouses and parents in a fallen world to do without divine forgiveness at the best of times (Genesis 2:25-4:26; John 3:16-17). The only perfect parent is God Himself. RIP Harley.
@@almightysupremecourt Good diet, clean air and water, natural sunlight, adequate exercise, intellectual cognitive-emotional development through quality human interaction, and deep unbroken sleep are vital for physical and mental health and well-being. All of these things are even more important when the hemispheres of the brain, the corpus callosum, and/or the cranial nerves are not sufficiently developed and/or are damaged through congenital hydrocephalus, traumatic brain injury at birth, and/or blunt force trauma in complex skull base fractures that adversely affect speech. Twins, particularly identical twin boys (because girls have twice as many language skill connections between both sides of the brain), oftentimes develop "twin talk" that is difficult to for most adults to understand but which is understood by them.
I would have benefited from homeschool as a child for the same reasons. I am currently homeschooling my son who is also on the spectrum and he is confident, happy, and well educated!
Congratulations, Mama! Homeschooling has the advantage of letting the people who know a child best to stay right on top of the issues that child has, though I think for some parents it is terrifying to be the one not only being the caregiver but the teacher. Even as a homeschool graduate and one who teaches my own children, I have deep respect for those who have traveled the challenging road of teaching their children with unusual requirements! That is a whole new level of determination and hard work.
You are not responsible for your felony as an Autist ! This is a case for menthal health care ! Dr. Grande is not a lawyer he is not a psych !He had googeld something abaut this case and he wasnot always correct! I like him,but he is not perfekt! He is a very good entertainer but his analysing are sometimes superficial !
No matter what I’m doing, I always look up to see if you look suspiciously to the side when you say “only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this”
How sad that the last thing his mom said to him was to get his a** to school. These types of fluke accidents are exactly why I always tell my son I love him when we part ways, even if we've had a disagreement or are upset. Thank you for your analysis Dr Grande. In this case, I disagree with your final analysis for three reasons. One, his friend saw him after school wearing the same clothes that were found with his body. This leads me to believe that two, he decided to "hide out" somewhere to get away from his parents, his father because he wouldn't buy him a new phone and his mother for not caring if he didn't feel well and responded the way she did. Three, they lived very close to this home, he probably saw that noone lived there and thought it was be a safe and easy place to hide out for a while. I do wonder why the police thought he went to the house before school if his friend saw him in the same clothes after school. Perhaps he skipped school and only went to the school for lunch and was seen leaving before getting in the chimney. Still so many questions.
My husband went to the same high school, years before this happened. Still so strange to hear about something so awful happening. It's such a tiny town, you never hear news out of there. For this to be like the one national news story out of his town is just so sad.
Bravo! One of my kids had some of the same issues. It takes immense patience and a LOT of support. Missing one of those can lead to sad consequences. Our family was lucky, we had the means to obtain good therapy for all of us. (There was no health insurance coverage for autism back then. I'm so sad for Harley and his family, it could have been us. 😢
Hi Dr Grande, good evening from Southern California. Excellent analysis. Thank you for supporting those of us with mental or brain disorders. As always I learn something new from your videos.
Poor Harley. What a terrible way to die. I feel bad for his parents too. They were used to him disappearing and reappearing and having to deal with his very odd behaviors and habits. It is hard enough dealing with a so-called normal child, so I'm sure it's triple hard dealing with a child with mental limitations who tends to act out over seemingly normal situations. They have my sympathies in losing their son in such a tragic way. Nobody should be heaping guilt on top of the guilt they probably already feel.
@grumpyoldlady_rants First off, calling law enforcement for a mental, behavioral, or nuerodivergent issue often leads to death. These young people when they are in a "mood", I called them fits with my son, are thinking from the lower brain, and cannot be reasoned with. A cop giving them an order that they are unable to comply with because all the emotional chemicals are overloading their brain, will either get screaming, or what looks like defiance. This leads the officer to either get angry or think he's in danger and shoot. I've seen it over and over in my community so never called the cops when my son was in that mental.place. Secondly, the parents probably didn't know what to do. Harley may have had a place he would go that seemed safe, and he probably came home when he was hungry. Only it didn't happen this time. Thirdly, one has NO IDEA what it is like raising children with these issues. It takes a parent to their breaking point. If the parents didn't have the support they needed, I could see how they behaved this way. Everyone is fighting a battle other's know nothing about. Be kind. This ended tragically for all involved.
@@grumpyoldlady_rants Parents who have been struggling for a long period of time with these repetitive behaviors. High school students runaway so often, that many police departments say just give it some time.
@@NYCHFAN - We aren’t talking about an adult. He was only 14 years old. I absolutely do know what’s it’s like to raise children who are difficult, for whatever reason. My oldest son gave my husband and I a lot of grief while in his teens. My youngest son had (has) pretty much the same disorders that Harley had with the exception of ODD ( but he certainly had his share of outbursts). When my oldest son got into legal trouble in his teens, we made sure his probation officer was made aware any time our son violated his probation. One thing we didn’t do was guilt trip him or say terrible things about him.
@@messrsandersonco5985 I recently went visit the town I grew up in. Going through the places I used to play and with all the old memories rushing in, I'm amazed by the fact I survived to adulthood. I should have broken my neck many times over.
As a mother all I can think about is how scared he must have been to be stuck in that chimney, how much he missed his mom or wish you would have listen to her, and wishing that someone would come find him. So heartbreaking
Maybe the story of Santa entering homes through the chimney has caused a widespread belief that chimneys are a possible way to enter houses. They're not. Even if they are not being used for fires, they're built in a way that anyone would be stuck if they fell in from the roof.
Back in the 18th and 19th century in Europe, the general public would have known that chimneys are dangerous and that they are narrow and often have twists and turns designed to improve fireplace performance. They would have known this because they would have seen all the small, young boys employed by adult master sweeps. Only little children could fit easily in those chimneys. And on occasion, even these boys might find themselves stuck and sometimes, met their deaths by suffocation when they couldn't move and couldn't be extracted in time.
He was just a naughty child. We were all young. I didn't think he went to burgle. I think he went to that house before and just wanted to explore some more.
I’ve helped families that have kiddos who have the same issues Harley had. It’s difficult to explain, and every diagnosis is different, and impacts families differently. I don’t feel the parents were to blame.
idk about that, I dont think its ok to let your kid know that is ok to dissapear for days... and if you know he has that habit, you need to give him a way to comunicate to them. He can pay it back later, so he can learn the responsability part. Yes families with TEA need to me flexible but that doesnt mean that they have free pass for neglect.
As someone who is changing their career from IT to becoming an LPC, I appreciate your videos and professional demeanor. I hope that when I graduate and get my Masters that I can approach my job with half of the professionalism and humor that you do. Thanks for your videos.
40 hours is a long time to not know or have seen or contacted your child. I understand going to friends houses or playing ect. But that's alot of unknown time. I couldn't.
This is just tragic! I’m so sorry to hear it happened. My heartfelt condolences go out to everyone who loved this young man. I wish I could help Harley’s parents to know that there are many of us out here who do not and would never blame you for what befell your son. I’m praying that as time goes by you’ll be able to get some peace of mind. I’m so very sorry for your loss. RIP Harley.🙏🏼❤️🕊
I really like your take on this Doc. I have a hard time when people have no clue what’s going on and create so much chaos by creating conspiracies. They make a simple, but awful situation 1000x worse than what the reality is. RIP Harley 🕊️
To me what's most disturbing is how people with conspiracy theories are so desperate for their theory to be true. They believe in it fetishistically because it triggers something in their psyche. They bear no relation to people who objectively considering alternative possibilities. It's like comparing a quietly spiritual person to a member of a religious cult.
@@icwhy4366None of the theories had any weight to them. As was said Harley likely didn’t know chimney design and thought it would’ve went all the way to the floor to exit
I think your coverage of this story could save lives since others have died in similar/the same way(s). I had no idea how chimneys worked and the myth of Santa Claus has obviously given children and adults the wrong idea about getting into a house that way. I’m so sorry he learned that lesson the hard way. So sad.
I remember when this happened. It’s such a sad story. My youngest son had the same diagnoses except ODD. I wonder if Harley’s parents got help to learn how to help Harley? It doesn’t sound like it. They sound like they didn’t treat Harley very well. Kids on the spectrum, especially with comorbid dxs, need specialized care. Raising my youngest son wasn’t easy but, thankfully, we were able to get interventions for him and my husband and I. Today, he is in his 30s. He is independent, hard working and a decent person. He still struggles some but he is so much farther along than professionals predicted he would ever be.
Unfortunately when reviewing his own videos on YT, you can see that things in the household like relationship dynamics were strained. I think mom and dad were fed up with him. I always say to embrace and get all the resources you can for your child early on. It just really helps especially when support services can teach you, the parents, how to de-escalate situations as anger, outbursts, or risks of leaving. His mom did lock him out of the house sometimes. I just think they needed more support and mom nor dad knew what to do. 😢 it really was a case that started long before.
Glad you brought this up. ASD requires early intervention and given the boy’s age and the area, I doubt such services existed when he was little. These situations cause a lot of pain at home. We have to be cognizant that they exist, we must have compassion and respect. We have to empathize with the child and parents. It is not easy. The boy was no burglar. May he rest in peace.
@Watcher6868 we start services at age 3, preschool teacher here. I am surrounded by title 1 schools and head start/early intervention programs too. My last baby had a very traumatic incoming to the world, lost oxygen and the nicu doctor suggested a teacher program, and they come to my house, I only had to call to set up the first appointment. It's been amazing what they do and services they have offered us. My youngest is actually too far ahead I say. But I always say start young, it just builds upon each other. Yes I don't know if they were available or limited and from his videos it just made me think he was crying out for help.
I didn’t realize how many people try this entry through the chimney method. If Dr. Grande is referring to the one in Los Angeles some teenager tried shimmining down the chimney of some girl he liked who was not interested in him. So he took it upon himself to trespass on her family’s home in an unusual manner. I don’t remember if the fire department had to dismantle the chimney but they did rescue him.
How can we know that his intent was burglary? I can easily imagine a repeat "runaway" 14 yr old entering an empty house with the intention of squatting for a bit. My 14 yr old self would never have attempted the athleticism of chimney entry, but an escape from my daily life in a house all to me would've been dreamy.
My son has similar issues. He makes, poor, dangerous at times decisions. He is 15 and doing better with danger but without supervision who knows what could happen. I am deeply saddened by this incident. 😢
Let him read all these stories so he can learn from the tragic experiences of others. If you aren't already familiar with it, look up the Nutty Putty Cave death. Also, a house that is undergoing renovation is a place of many potential dangers, just like construction sites.
Ohio doesn’t have Caylee’s Law. In the 10 or so states that do, the parents could been charged for not reporting their child missing within 24 hours. It was introduced following the Casey Anthony trial.
Why the thought that he was stealing from the house? I have AuDhd and struggled horrificly in school. My parents would also lock me outside, even as a young child, I can relate to him a lot. When I skipped school to avoid rampant bullying, I would often go and spend the day in an abandoned factory close to home. Just because he was breaking in to an empty house doesn't mean he was stealing. From my own perspective he was looking for a safe place to spend the day alone, and went to great lengths not to be detected by avoiding a door and risking setting off an alarm or having to break anything. He just wanted some peace from the onslaught of fractured relationships and obligations he didn't sign up for.
The challenge of parenting ASD children even those with mild traits and with parents with all the best intentions, knowledge and in a strong long lasting partnership should not be understated.
What a tragedy. Parents!! Do not feel too proud to seek help for your kids!!! A 14 year old running away for any length of time should be investigated and immediately dealt with. Allowing him time to ruminate in his dangerous thoughts by ignoring his destructive behavior is what caused his death. The parents inaction. The child’s school is also a problem. So much more could’ve been done to intervene on this child’s behalf
He wasn't trying to commit burglary, the house was abandoned. I have a daughter with a lot of the same diagnosis as this little boy and if you aren't a patient person then it's easy to get irritated, frustrated, think you have a bad child etc. I think the parents were overwhelmed with his behaviors and they ultimately chose to just let him do whatever because I'm sure they were tired of the battles. The moms last words to him was get your ass to school after he tried to say he was sick. His parents met with friends and drank the first two nights he was missing. They just assumed he was doing his typical disappearing act and would eventually come home. I think he had nowhere to go at the time and decided to go into this abandoned house and didn't want to break a window or door so he chose what he thought was the path of least resistance. Its so sad to know a little boy suffered like this ... Especially thinking that my daughter freaks out when she is confined as is common with autism spectrum, so to picture him screaming for help and trying to break free is just so so sad. He was a little boy who had a lot of problems that were out of his control and needed adults to look out for him. But he was failed :'(
What an heart wrenching tragedy. I cannot imagine the fear and suffering Harley endured in his final moments. Conspiracy theories touting alternative methods of Harley’s demise and attacking the police is hateful. Lastly, I can barely listen to the end when a scenario or story includes being inside small spaces. I’m claustrophobic and this gives me a visceral reaction.
Why did people assume he tried to enter to rob the house? He would have known it was vacant. More likely he was exploring. Couldn't he be given the benefit of the doubt?
I understand the parents not calling police. Harley has vanished before so there was no reason to suspect he would not return this time. People in general have little to no common sense. The fact they jumped to a conclusion regarding the coat placement is a perfect example. This boy was out of control and impulsive. He likely figured he could hole up in the house awhile and go back home. Unfortunatly his impulsivness became his demise. It happens to people of all ages and blame can't be placed anywhere but at the adventurers feet.
@@jamese9283 Common sense refers to a type of judgement, not to the frequency of that judgement. So it having a low frequency in the population doesn't have any bearing on the fact that it is called common sense. It could be called simple, basic judgement instead of common sense.
it's called HAVING NO LIVES AT REDDIT :) I have too much time on my hands but I try to fill it ore constructively than gossiping with other reddit folks :)
@traybern That is a great observation. Very true. Until I lived in a house with a fireplace. I had no idea it had a flue. So this mishap is very understandable. Its definately unfortunate.
I don't understand how he had barely enough space to fit in there, but somehow had enough room to be able to take his clothes off and throw them into the room? That makes zero sense to me. How do you take a shirt and pants off without being able to move?
It just sounds exactly like something a young boy would do. I don't have any mental health syptoms (that I'm aware of) but the young me definitely got into some tight situations - just out of having an adventurous spirit and curiosity. When I was a boy, my friends and I used to jump off high rooftops and and trees, daring eachother to see who could jump from the highest point. Broken limbs resulted, and laughs were had. I could definitely see myself trying to slide down a chimney like santa claus.
I think Harley wanted to hide out from his parents and not go to school that day. I didn't hear any evidence that he intended to steal anything inside the empty house.
I personally doubt he was trying to burglar this empty home. He didn’t have a history of criminality, he had a history of avoidance. He probably was looking for a quiet place to stay away from his family. Once he gets in the house, he can unlock a back door or something and come and go as he pleases. A quiet safe haven close enough to his home that he can sneak food from the fridge, grab blankets, etc, but away from whatever chaotic or authoritative home environment he was trying to avoid. I’d imagine he was looking for peace and autonomy, two common non-negotiables for us autistics.
Why is it assumed that his intent was to burglarize the house? In the absence of confirming evidence, it’s more likely he wanted to have his own space for a while to avoid school. My guess is that his previous “disappearances” occurred during warmer weather. Ohio Decembers are too cold to be outside for any extended period of time so he needed shelter. Individuals on the spectrum often want/need a quiet space when they’re feeling overstimulated or overwhelmed. This is a tragic case.
He likely had the PDA autism profile. (Pathological Demand Avoidance) it is often misdiagnosed as ODD. Everything that is a demand on us (this includes things we want to do, things like hunger and needing to use the restroom) often trigger fight, flight, freeze reactions and we do anything we can to avoid doing them. We have unbelievable anxiety. An overload of demands will cause horrible meltdowns. Our tolerance level for the demands put on us is often pretty low and it is very debilitating to have this.
This one ....often I consider the heartache with which parents of children with rare "needs" live daily - moment by moment their struggles can seldom be shared with even family member members....they were my students-for 21 years and the helplessness is a sadness few know. It's very cold in Port Clinton...could have been 25 - 40 degrees below zero with the roaring wind chill factor. God help us all be a kinder community member....💔🎈
I live within 20 minutes of port clinton and this story makes my blood boil. The day he told his mom he didnt feel good she was in bed and didnt even look up. She didnt know the clothes he was wearing because she never seen him. The dad who was a garbage truck driver. His GPS coincidentally turned off for hours the day harley went missing where he also went and dropped a couch off at the landfill. Later when the parents were being investigated they went to the landfill where again coincidentally the couch he had dropped off was on fire. Also the chief of police and the dillys were good friends. And the chief tried to immediately clear them. As for the 41 hours that he was missing. No parent with an autistic child with behavioral issues is going to be ok with their kid being missing for damn near two days. There were also interviews where heather had to be reminded to thank people for searching for harley even though she never joined. As an autistic boy who didnt like being dirty i dont forsee him shoving himself in a dirty chimney especially when there was a broken basement window he couldve went through. They also released an autopsy report that stated there was no soot debris found in his lungs which that was quickly taken down from public eye. He had a youtube channel which one video was of him being locked out , another video of him saying how his mom had gotten mad and broke his glasses and a live stream when you heard the mother screaming and then started beating on him. Which of course had all been removed. The sister who the dillys have custody of her child rory made a video on how she doesnt believe her parents had nothing to do with Harleys death then later deleted her video making another telling everyone to leave the parents alone. The case was closed. The chimney was immediately destroyed, chief of police/friend retired and Harleys body was creamated. The parents and chief got away with murder in my opinion.
Don't you just love it when people who question certain events are automatically labeled, "conspiracy theorists", simply based on the fact that they have questions about the official narrative presented? I'd like to know why any law enforcement would pick a jacket up and hang it up on the top of the door like that. I understand Dr. Grande stating that was before they knew what was going on, but what was the whole reason they were there to begin with? And anything at all that even remotely looked like it could potentially belong to Harley should have not had a finger laid on it, much less hung up on the top of a door, that's something a teenager would do, in my opinion. There are a lot of questions with this case, but I dare not raise them, the fragile world cannot handle it.
@@flinchfiles8445yeah I didn’t think of that… you’re right, they were there to search for Harley. Why would they touch an item of clothing that had even a .001% chance of belonging to him just to hang it on a freaking door? Idk what to think of this case. I think his parents were neglectful, at best, based on the content he posted to his RUclips page.
Why do people assume he was robbing the place? He may have just been trying to find a place to skip school. Aside from that, I do think refusing to replace his phone was a mistake. They didn't have to load it up with apps or games or anything, but the ability to call or text for help might have saved his life.
i've heard this story before but was missing a crucial piece of information (there was no fireplace). it was said his clothes were folded neatly next to the fireplace. that led to speculation that he had been murdered and his body stuffed up the fireplace. that might have been a better end for him? rip harley
I think it was fine for the parents to say that he needed to earn a new smartphone, but they should have given him a basic handset for calls and texts. And not worrying about not seeing a fourteen-year-old for FORTY hours is absurd.
40 hours is a very long time. By 9pm latest after the end of school, let alone that his mother didn’t respond to the missed calls from the school itself. So much time wasted
It can be talked about how “difficult” his condition was for them but none of their responses would have been justified if he DIDNT have autism! They were obviously horrible parents
His life had a lot of struggles due to his health issues. For sure we can’t judge his parents since we are not dealing with children like him. The whole thing was sad and tragic. RIP Harley 🥲
I am from Port Clinton. When this happened, there were all kinds of crazy conspiracies and delusional psychics weighing in. I agree with you Harley’s parents weren’t parents of the year, but there was no way, given the facts, that they had anything to do with his death. This poor family had people shouting outside of their house for weeks “Justice for Harley.” I still can’t drive down that street and see that house without thinking about Harley dying there. Dr. Grande, I am so happy you covered this story in your naturally unbiased, analytical manner. I am a fan of your videos and your increasing collection of cacti! ❤
@fashehc Breaking in to hide out from parents would still technically be considered burglary though. Although burglary most often involves a theft, the actual definition is "Entry into a building illegally with intent to commit a crime”. That crime doesn't always need to be stealing. Criminal trespass is a crime too (it's right there in the name). So even entering someone's home with the intent to hide out and watch TV and eat snacks could still technically fall under the definition of burglary (even though most would just be charged with trespass if this turned out to be the case) 😉. I think Dr. Grande was just using the term as it is actually defined and not necessarily assuming stealing was going to happen.
Just a reminder, I'm not diagnosing anybody in this video; only speculating about what could be happening when cacti slowly sneak up on a RUclips host like this.
That poor child. Such a hard life & then to end up slowly dying in that chimney. He wasn't there to burglarize an empty house. He was seeking shelter from his abusive parents & most likely bullies at school. My heart breaks for poor Harley
I agree that assuming burglary is a harsh assumption to make, but so is that his parents were abusive. You shouldn’t make a claim like that without evidence. And no! One exasperated comment from a mom tired of her son trying to get out of school isn’t enough. My mom has said much worst to me, but I wouldn’t call her abusive. Can she sometimes say things that are technically abusive from a strict interpretation, yes. But is she actually abusive, no. As for locking out of the house, we don’t know if he had a habit of losing keys and his parents were tired of it. Abuse is a strong word. Just because parents aren’t perfect doesn’t mean they’re abusive. It’s nice that you had such a perfect, idilic childhood that you can say something so horrible based on so little, because to you that’s horrendous compared to what you got. But for the rest of us, that’s all pretty well within the bounds of normal, imperfect parents.
@@dws84 Are you always so insensitive? And the chimney actually was big enough for him to fit....he made it all the way to the bottom, didn't he? He didn't get stuck midway. The problem is that there was no exit at the bottom.
His mother locked him out of the house . That's why he tried to climb down the chimney. His mother had threatened to call the police on him so instead of breaking in the house he tried going down the chimney. People that knew what was going on with the family where very angry with the mother and father. This wasn't the first time he had been locked out.
@@jaytee2642As was said though Chimneys narrow as they go on not to mention there’s that damper etc so it’s not a straight line. It’s why all chimneys should have those caps at the top to prevent anything from entering
@lorirogers9304 We all know that. I live not to far away from where this happened. This was his parents fault and everybody knew this. That's why they were protesting. It was against the parents.
She is partly at fault, they should not have waited 40 hours to call police, regardless of if he's run off before. With his issues and his age they should have reported him missing long before then
@@maddyc2412even if! It took the police 3 weeks to finally find him. An earlier call would have saved a few hours. Not enough to keep the boy alive. This is heartbreaking.
@@Watcher6868 even if it wouldn't have saved him, it's still weird that they would wait that long, no normal parent would wait so long to report their child missing
I had a very high functioning autistic roommate. I poked fun at him one time by asking why he only eats chicken and he laughed and said: "Well you know... it's funny but i used to only eat burgers... But then my friend told me burgers weren't good for my heart, so I changed to chicken." 😂
This is one of those cases that is quite sad and bizarre as to what all happened. It’s very unfortunate he died. Thank you for the analysis Dr. Grande, I hope you’re having a great weekend. Keep up the great work and take care!
People don't understand how difficult it is to parent extremely difficult children. We all expect parenthood to be mostly good but oftentimes it is seldom good when dealing with children like Harley. Parents do their best but incidents like this sadly happen especially with children who don't follow rules.
Harley was not an extremely difficult child. Please don’t speak of “children like Harley” as if you knew him. He was known to have occasional behavioral issues which were non-violent outbursts. He wasn’t receiving any of the help he needed to cope with the diagnoses he had no control over, so what was he expected to do? Locking him out of the house in the cold, waiting over 40 hours to report him missing… face it, they were shitty and (at best) neglectful parents. How do you go to bed at night not knowing where your child is? I don’t care if he’s run away 50 times (which he hadn’t). And yes, even if he had been reported missing right away, he still would have died, but that’s totally irrelevant when speaking in defense of the parents because they didn’t know that. Children in general don’t “follow rules” on a consistent basis, especially at age 14. Are you a parent with an “extremely difficult child?” I sincerely hope not. Maybe if he were receiving therapy to help deal with impulsivity and poor decision making this wouldn’t have happened, but that would have been on the parents to seek out. Instead they would just call the police on him when he couldn’t cope with something and had a meltdown. Defending this is abhorrent.
He is seen on surveillance footage at 6:08am walking towards the school (video @ 4:06), but he told his mother he didn't want to go to school at 6:50am? (video @ 3:31)
Harley may not have been committing burglary. He didn't want to go to school, and he might have been looking for somewhere to stay. Maybe watch some TV inside that home. Since it was locked, he could only assume what he might find inside. It just seems reasonable to me, that he was looking for a place to "hang out", rather than burglarise.
Burglary is the act of illegally entering a building or other area, usually, but not always, with the intent to commit a felony. Technically, Harley committed burglary the second he entered their private property without their permission, regardless of his intent. Burglary is similar to trespassing.
@@victoriajohnson4420 I thought it was called "break and enter" when a lock is broken to enter private property. But I don't live in the US. I think there is a difference in the severity of the charge in Canada... depending on the intent. Like, the punishment for being a "squater" is less sever than being someone who entered for the purpose of theft.
I think it’s more likely he just wanted a secret, comfortable place he could escape to on weekends when workmen weren’t there… rather than to steal, what? a hammer? He probably thought once he was in, he could unlock a basement window to come and go by. And maybe he threw his clothes and glasses out knowing people who would be searching for him would recognise the items as his.
I don't think he was necessarily trying to commit burglary. He wanted to skip school and thought that the empty house would be a good place to hang out for the day.
💯% poor lad.
Yes. Exactly. And kids explore.
@@hopemccubbin8661 Especially 14 year old boys, they're often adventurous. He was just out exploring, looking for a place to hide away from the world. I'm sure mental health was a factor too. I feel so bad for the kid
Yes.
I didn't think he was committing a burglary either. I think he has so upset and wanted to get in that house to stay overnight. Then parents would have changed their minds about a new phone when he got back home
The thought of that boy in the chimney for nearly 4 weeks....the amount of decomposition that had already taken place...i cant imagine being the police officer that stuck their arm in the pipe and FELT HIM INSIDE...horrific. RIP little man 😢
Gahhh...
Horrible I have goose bumbs all over my body
some police carry cigars with them, which they light when they encounter a decomposing body. The cigar hides the smell.
He had not decomposed that much he was basically in a refrigerator that's why they initially couldn't smell any decomp
@@ForageGardener plus he was in a chimney so most foul fumes would waft upwards, it's what chimneys do.
Poor boy suffered an agonizing death. I cannot imagine the panic that would set in realizing I was indefinitely stuck in a chimney with no way to call for help and no hope of a rescue. Great analysis and having compassion for ones mental illnesses should come naturally. It's hard to think some ppl wouldn't have compassion for this boy just because he was unlawfully entering this home. Thank you for another great video and all your hard work daily researching these cases and uploading new videos. You're the best RUclipsr out here, Dr. Grande.❤
Leftist delusion, as usual.
@@GrinninPig I'm conservative/libertarian and yet still have the compassion not to wish this on anybody. I feel horrible for the parents too. What's more, I know many people who would hold all of these same views as me. Hence, I don't agree with your generalization. At least we feel the same way about Dr. Grande though.
@@GrinninPig Huh? What a highly inappropriate and strangely perplexing comment about a boy with mental illness. 😒 Tragedies like this happen to various types of families, and public opinion will similarly vary.
@@GrinninPigplease leave your politics out of this tragedy. A little boy died please have some respect for his parents and his memory.
@@GrinninPig That is an ignorant comment, lacking any fact. Just because you don't politically agree with people, doesn't mean they lack compassion. 🙄 that literally has got to be one of the most ignorant, dividing, comment I've heard in a while. Shows you just assume a specific group of people are blanketed under one stereotype and actually you just came across as someone that way.
Poor boy. And he was so close to home all that time. I think it’s a clear example of death by misadventure; didn’t realize the dangers of navigating a chimney and when you’re that young, you don’t really grasp your own mortality 😢
For sure! We all do stupid things when we are young, unless we have helicopter parents Somehow we escape tragedy, but not this young guy.
Modern chimneys will have a grill across the top to keep people from climbing in. It's highly recommended that people with older chimneys retrofit them to have a grill. I've heard of at least 1 other case than Dr Grande mentioned. Most people have never lived in a house with a fireplace and have no idea that chimneys narrow as they go down and that will kill someone.
@CheeriotopofthemorninI'm so sorry
How did he manage to remove pieces of clothing while he was lodged into such a tight space? Dr Grande theory makes no sense whatsoever, as usual he is being lazy and just trying to go along whatever version (no matter how absurd) the authorities put forward.
Could he have crab-walked up the chimney?
1:34-1:35 Harley Dilly frequently took showers to keep himself clean, and he was found in a chimney that’s known to be very dirty and dusty so strange
I still don't see how he could be so compressed and suffocate yet there were holes to push clothing out, and also remove his clothing. He might not have wanted to rob anyone, just hide out or explore a vacant house. Odd case that just seems to leave an uncomfortable feeling.
He probably took the clothes off before he got stuck, then after he was below the inlet, he threw the clothes out.
In the late 18th and 19th century in Britain and other parts of Europe, small children were regularly employed by adult master sweeps (who were far too big to fit into chimneys) to climb up and down chimneys in order to brush and sweep out debris in clogged chimneys.
Quite a few "climbing boys", some of them as young as 5 yrs old (and therefore very small and able to fit into some tight corners in these narrow and twisting chimneys) never made it out alive. They got stuck in a tight spot and as soot fell on them and they were lodged tight in a very small space, died of asphyxiation. There is just not enough airflow in such spaces when your body is taking up practically all the space as well as the restricted air circulation.
I doubt he was trying to rob anyone. As someone with ADHD and potentially autism as well, curiosity seems much more likely. I've never seen a house I'm not curious to see the inside of!
No, I doubt he was trying to rob anyone. But burglary is the crime of entering without permission. It is its own crime, no theft necessary.
@@13donstalos I believe in some countries the term "breaking and entering" rather than burglary would be used in such a situation where nothing was taken but illegal entry was made into a property. This difference may be thr cause of confusion in this discussion.
Just an horrific way to die. About thirty years ago, if I recall correctly, a kid about Harley’s age fell through a rotting floor in an abandoned grain elevator on the north shore of Lake Erie. The place should have been demolished years earlier. Kids used to climb up there and smoke pot and fool around with girls, etc. This poor kid fell into an air shaft and got trapped similarly to Harley. He must have been alone at the time, because nobody found him until months later, and the M. E. determined that he died slowly of dehydration and exposure. He might have taken a week or more to die. God rest the poor kid’s soul.
When I was 13-15, I used to do stuff like this fairly often. As wrong and disrespectful as my behavior was, my motivations really weren’t malicious. It was sheer boredom and a drive to explore. We humans are natural explorers. When you take a bored teenager and put them in a place in which there are no mysteries or adventures, they sometimes seek out shady opportunities to find their adventure.
I remember climbing around on rooftops, climbing through ventilation shafts, and even using a makeshift grappling-hook to explore places I had no business being.
I can 100% imagine myself doing the same thing this kid did.
It’s impossible to excuse the behavior… especially now that I’m nearly 55 years-old and have an immense respect for other people’s property… but I can definitely give insight into what might have been going on in his mind. I was never out to burglarize anything. It was all about the exploration and curiosity. Simple adventure-seeking.
I’m sure he knew that no one was living in the house, and he just wanted to explore.
Mu older brother was always like that when we were younger too. He squished me through a widow of an abandoned house one day and I got a nail stuck in my foot. I didn't want to go in the house but I didn't want to not have him and his friends to get mad at me and send me back home. 😂so I did as he said. Teenage boys, especially can be mischievous. This poor boy died such a horribly agonizing and slow death, my heart goes out to his family.
Typical public School really holds kids back. 8 hours a day, mostly sitting. It’s BS
There's an animal behavior book titled "Wildhood" that shows that almost all complex animals that go through an adolescent phase exhibit risk-taking behaviors that accelerate their learning process during that phase. So adventure seeking is only about boredom on the surface - on a deeper level it's a species survival mechanism. But anything in life backfires once it's taken too far.
@@craigfinnegan8534 Thank you for bringing this important subject up. From womb to tomb across the intergenerational human developmental life span, exposure to internal and external environmental toxins, Adverse Childhood Experiences, a lack of Maslow's deficiency and growth needs being met during critical growth periods, and adolescent apoptosis, shape neurobiology. Carlo C. Maley's review of Barbara Natterson-Horowitz's and Kathryn Bowers' Wildhood: The Epic Journey from Adolescence to Adulthood in Humans and Other Animals (2020) is available at the National Institutes of Health. In my personal and professional opinion, given the lack of mental health resources currently available, dealing with a combination of ASD, ADHD, and ODD risk factors would be extremely difficult for most parents of whatever socioeconomic status. Spokane Regional Health District's 1-2-3 Trauma-Sensitive Toolkit for Caregivers is an invaluable resource. Trauma-Informed Care of Oregon's guiding principles of trauma-informed care are a) safety; b) trustworthiness and transparency; c) peer support and mutual self-help; d) collaboration and mutuality; e) empowerment, voice, and choice; and f) cultural, historical, and gender issues. Good interpersonal relationships help individuals cope with life's challenges via the process of linking mutual communication, cooperation, collaboration, coordination, correction, commitment, and compromise, but that is difficult for spouses and parents in a fallen world to do without divine forgiveness at the best of times (Genesis 2:25-4:26; John 3:16-17). The only perfect parent is God Himself. RIP Harley.
@@almightysupremecourt Good diet, clean air and water, natural sunlight, adequate exercise, intellectual cognitive-emotional development through quality human interaction, and deep unbroken sleep are vital for physical and mental health and well-being. All of these things are even more important when the hemispheres of the brain, the corpus callosum, and/or the cranial nerves are not sufficiently developed and/or are damaged through congenital hydrocephalus, traumatic brain injury at birth, and/or blunt force trauma in complex skull base fractures that adversely affect speech. Twins, particularly identical twin boys (because girls have twice as many language skill connections between both sides of the brain), oftentimes develop "twin talk" that is difficult to for most adults to understand but which is understood by them.
My son had an almost similar diagnosis. I chose to homeschool and he thrived in that environment. Today he is a maritime electrician and doing well.
I would have benefited from homeschool as a child for the same reasons. I am currently homeschooling my son who is also on the spectrum and he is confident, happy, and well educated!
Parents negligence and I think they are somehow responsible for this happening too!
Congratulations, Mama!
Homeschooling has the advantage of letting the people who know a child best to stay right on top of the issues that child has, though I think for some parents it is terrifying to be the one not only being the caregiver but the teacher. Even as a homeschool graduate and one who teaches my own children, I have deep respect for those who have traveled the challenging road of teaching their children with unusual requirements! That is a whole new level of determination and hard work.
I have my opinion! This child was neglected! You can say your opinion I have my own,which difference the opposite of yours!!
@@laurenturner3578but not to mother of the years award!
I don’t think he was a burglar. I think he was trying to hide so he didn’t have to go to school.
Yes,You are right. DR.Grande has not always right!
Yes,Dr. Grande was not right!
You're a burglar once you break into a home the reason doesn't change that fact
You are not responsible for your felony as an Autist ! This is a case for menthal health care ! Dr. Grande is not a lawyer he is not a psych !He had googeld something abaut this case and he wasnot always correct! I like him,but he is not perfekt! He is a very good entertainer but his analysing are sometimes superficial !
No,if you were a menthal illness,you are not responsible at the law! You get a menthal health care, but not prison time!
What an unfortunate situation for poor Harley! Narrated with compassion and sensitivity, Dr.G.
No matter what I’m doing, I always look up to see if you look suspiciously to the side when you say “only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this”
He did it this time. LoL.
Same 😂❤
OMG I never noticed! 😂
I’ve noticed that side glance.
Me too!!
His parents were wrong to deny him a new phone after his was lost. Also, 40 hours missing was too long for parents not to report it
He broke it
How sad that the last thing his mom said to him was to get his a** to school. These types of fluke accidents are exactly why I always tell my son I love him when we part ways, even if we've had a disagreement or are upset.
Thank you for your analysis Dr Grande. In this case, I disagree with your final analysis for three reasons. One, his friend saw him after school wearing the same clothes that were found with his body. This leads me to believe that two, he decided to "hide out" somewhere to get away from his parents, his father because he wouldn't buy him a new phone and his mother for not caring if he didn't feel well and responded the way she did. Three, they lived very close to this home, he probably saw that noone lived there and thought it was be a safe and easy place to hide out for a while. I do wonder why the police thought he went to the house before school if his friend saw him in the same clothes after school. Perhaps he skipped school and only went to the school for lunch and was seen leaving before getting in the chimney. Still so many questions.
I live in Ohio, and Harleys death was traumatizing. To think that a child could die that way is terrifying.
It wasn't traumatizing. It was darwinisim
My husband went to the same high school, years before this happened. Still so strange to hear about something so awful happening. It's such a tiny town, you never hear news out of there. For this to be like the one national news story out of his town is just so sad.
@@MrRumdumbis that comment really necessary 🫡 please never reproduce
No one ever thinks to check the chimney
Bravo! One of my kids had some of the same issues. It takes immense patience and a LOT of support. Missing one of those can lead to sad consequences. Our family was lucky, we had the means to obtain good therapy for all of us. (There was no health insurance coverage for autism back then. I'm so sad for Harley and his family, it could have been us. 😢
This absolutely breaks my heart, I can’t imagine the fear he felt in those last moments 😢
I don't think the boy was committing a burglary...he was just looking for a place to be while skipping school, a place where he wouldn't be seen....
Must have been horrifying forHarley once he realized his circumstance. RIP Harley
So sad for Harley and his family. Your treatment of his story is very compassionate.
Very sad case. 😢 I agree that compassion is in order not judgement. Thanks Dr. Grande
Hi Dr Grande, good evening from Southern California.
Excellent analysis. Thank you for supporting those of us with mental or brain disorders.
As always I learn something new from your videos.
Love your work but have to admit I can't resist clicking on just to see what new cactuses you have. They're awesome.
Poor Harley. What a terrible way to die. I feel bad for his parents too. They were used to him disappearing and reappearing and having to deal with his very odd behaviors and habits. It is hard enough dealing with a so-called normal child, so I'm sure it's triple hard dealing with a child with mental limitations who tends to act out over seemingly normal situations. They have my sympathies in losing their son in such a tragic way. Nobody should be heaping guilt on top of the guilt they probably already feel.
I don’t really feel bad for his parents. It sounds like they didn’t treat him well. What parent waits 40 hours to report their young teen missing?
@grumpyoldlady_rants First off, calling law enforcement for a mental, behavioral, or nuerodivergent issue often leads to death. These young people when they are in a "mood", I called them fits with my son, are thinking from the lower brain, and cannot be reasoned with. A cop giving them an order that they are unable to comply with because all the emotional chemicals are overloading their brain, will either get screaming, or what looks like defiance. This leads the officer to either get angry or think he's in danger and shoot. I've seen it over and over in my community so never called the cops when my son was in that mental.place. Secondly, the parents probably didn't know what to do. Harley may have had a place he would go that seemed safe, and he probably came home when he was hungry. Only it didn't happen this time. Thirdly, one has NO IDEA what it is like raising children with these issues. It takes a parent to their breaking point. If the parents didn't have the support they needed, I could see how they behaved this way. Everyone is fighting a battle other's know nothing about. Be kind. This ended tragically for all involved.
Yeah, most people want to die in their sleep after seeing their children grow up.
@@grumpyoldlady_rants Parents who have been struggling for a long period of time with these repetitive behaviors. High school students runaway so often, that many police departments say just give it some time.
@@NYCHFAN - We aren’t talking about an adult. He was only 14 years old. I absolutely do know what’s it’s like to raise children who are difficult, for whatever reason. My oldest son gave my husband and I a lot of grief while in his teens. My youngest son had (has) pretty much the same disorders that Harley had with the exception of ODD ( but he certainly had his share of outbursts). When my oldest son got into legal trouble in his teens, we made sure his probation officer was made aware any time our son violated his probation. One thing we didn’t do was guilt trip him or say terrible things about him.
I'm autistic as well. I have a fear of heights, but when I was younger, I had a misperception of consequences.
Most children and adolescents have the inability see consequences, and not a few drivers, I might add.
@@messrsandersonco5985 I recently went visit the town I grew up in. Going through the places I used to play and with all the old memories rushing in, I'm amazed by the fact I survived to adulthood. I should have broken my neck many times over.
As a mother all I can think about is how scared he must have been to be stuck in that chimney, how much he missed his mom or wish you would have listen to her, and wishing that someone would come find him. So heartbreaking
Maybe the story of Santa entering homes through the chimney has caused a widespread belief that chimneys are a possible way to enter houses. They're not. Even if they are not being used for fires, they're built in a way that anyone would be stuck if they fell in from the roof.
Yes, I believe you are right!...I NEVER knew, until now, that entering a home via the chimney is NOT a way to gain entry into a house!..:-)
Back in the 18th and 19th century in Europe, the general public would have known that chimneys are dangerous and that they are narrow and often have twists and turns designed to improve fireplace performance. They would have known this because they would have seen all the small, young boys employed by adult master sweeps. Only little children could fit easily in those chimneys. And on occasion, even these boys might find themselves stuck and sometimes, met their deaths by suffocation when they couldn't move and couldn't be extracted in time.
@@SY-ok2dqI started hyperventilating just thinking about getting stuck in a chimney.
If Santa went down this particular chimney with Harley still inside, Mr. Claus would give up that practice.
He was just a naughty child. We were all young. I didn't think he went to burgle. I think he went to that house before and just wanted to explore some more.
I’ve helped families that have kiddos who have the same issues Harley had. It’s difficult to explain, and every diagnosis is different, and impacts families differently. I don’t feel the parents were to blame.
Agreed. They were obviously caring parents.
idk about that, I dont think its ok to let your kid know that is ok to dissapear for days... and if you know he has that habit, you need to give him a way to comunicate to them. He can pay it back later, so he can learn the responsability part. Yes families with TEA need to me flexible but that doesnt mean that they have free pass for neglect.
@@zuzu7308 idk do you have a kid with autism? I do.
I agree. My child is level 1. She's almost 16
@@kweenz109 mine is 9, level 1, previously level 2 when he was younger. People think they know or could manage it better but they haven’t idea.
As someone who is changing their career from IT to becoming an LPC, I appreciate your videos and professional demeanor. I hope that when I graduate and get my Masters that I can approach my job with half of the professionalism and humor that you do. Thanks for your videos.
40 hours is a long time to not know or have seen or contacted your child. I understand going to friends houses or playing ect. But that's alot of unknown time. I couldn't.
This is just tragic! I’m so sorry to hear it happened. My heartfelt condolences go out to everyone who loved this young man. I wish I could help Harley’s parents to know that there are many of us out here who do not and would never blame you for what befell your son. I’m praying that as time goes by you’ll be able to get some peace of mind. I’m so very sorry for your loss. RIP Harley.🙏🏼❤️🕊
I really like your take on this Doc.
I have a hard time when people have no clue what’s going on and create so much chaos by creating conspiracies. They make a simple, but awful situation 1000x worse than what the reality is.
RIP Harley 🕊️
To me what's most disturbing is how people with conspiracy theories are so desperate for their theory to be true. They believe in it fetishistically because it triggers something in their psyche. They bear no relation to people who objectively considering alternative possibilities. It's like comparing a quietly spiritual person to a member of a religious cult.
It's not a conspiracy
@@icwhy4366None of the theories had any weight to them.
As was said Harley likely didn’t know chimney design and thought it would’ve went all the way to the floor to exit
@@icwhy4366
I would have to disagree. When there are no facts to something, in this case, it becomes, became a conspiracy.
I think your coverage of this story could save lives since others have died in similar/the same way(s). I had no idea how chimneys worked and the myth of Santa Claus has obviously given children and adults the wrong idea about getting into a house that way. I’m so sorry he learned that lesson the hard way. So sad.
I remember seeing this but didnt read it. Sad for Harley but glad they found him. Autism poses many challenges. Great points again. Thanks Dr G😊💟💟
This is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Poor baby. 😥
I remember when this happened. It’s such a sad story. My youngest son had the same diagnoses except ODD. I wonder if Harley’s parents got help to learn how to help Harley? It doesn’t sound like it. They sound like they didn’t treat Harley very well. Kids on the spectrum, especially with comorbid dxs, need specialized care. Raising my youngest son wasn’t easy but, thankfully, we were able to get interventions for him and my husband and I. Today, he is in his 30s. He is independent, hard working and a decent person. He still struggles some but he is so much farther along than professionals predicted he would ever be.
@traybern - Do you realize what ODD stands for? If not, it’s oppositional defiant disorder
1:04 - It looks like a spider descended on your left side (our right) next to your head, unless that’s just some fluff or something.
Unfortunately when reviewing his own videos on YT, you can see that things in the household like relationship dynamics were strained. I think mom and dad were fed up with him. I always say to embrace and get all the resources you can for your child early on. It just really helps especially when support services can teach you, the parents, how to de-escalate situations as anger, outbursts, or risks of leaving. His mom did lock him out of the house sometimes. I just think they needed more support and mom nor dad knew what to do. 😢 it really was a case that started long before.
IF there are any!
Glad you brought this up. ASD requires early intervention and given the boy’s age and the area, I doubt such services existed when he was little. These situations cause a lot of pain at home. We have to be cognizant that they exist, we must have compassion and respect. We have to empathize with the child and parents. It is not easy. The boy was no burglar. May he rest in peace.
@Watcher6868 we start services at age 3, preschool teacher here. I am surrounded by title 1 schools and head start/early intervention programs too. My last baby had a very traumatic incoming to the world, lost oxygen and the nicu doctor suggested a teacher program, and they come to my house, I only had to call to set up the first appointment. It's been amazing what they do and services they have offered us. My youngest is actually too far ahead I say. But I always say start young, it just builds upon each other. Yes I don't know if they were available or limited and from his videos it just made me think he was crying out for help.
I didn’t realize how many people try this entry through the chimney method.
If Dr. Grande is referring to the one in Los Angeles some teenager tried shimmining down the chimney of some girl he liked who was not interested in him. So he took it upon himself to trespass on her family’s home in an unusual manner. I don’t remember if the fire department had to dismantle the chimney but they did rescue him.
Maybe he wasn’t committing a burglary. Maybe he just wanted someplace to hang out while he was supposed to be at school.
Yes, the "burglary" part is speculation.
How can we know that his intent was burglary? I can easily imagine a repeat "runaway" 14 yr old entering an empty house with the intention of squatting for a bit. My 14 yr old self would never have attempted the athleticism of chimney entry, but an escape from my daily life in a house all to me would've been dreamy.
My son has similar issues. He makes, poor, dangerous at times decisions. He is 15 and doing better with danger but without supervision who knows what could happen. I am deeply saddened by this incident. 😢
Let him read all these stories so he can learn from the tragic experiences of others.
If you aren't already familiar with it, look up the Nutty Putty Cave death.
Also, a house that is undergoing renovation is a place of many potential dangers, just like construction sites.
Ohio doesn’t have Caylee’s Law. In the 10 or so states that do, the parents could been charged for not reporting their child missing within 24 hours. It was introduced following the Casey Anthony trial.
Why the thought that he was stealing from the house? I have AuDhd and struggled horrificly in school. My parents would also lock me outside, even as a young child, I can relate to him a lot. When I skipped school to avoid rampant bullying, I would often go and spend the day in an abandoned factory close to home. Just because he was breaking in to an empty house doesn't mean he was stealing. From my own perspective he was looking for a safe place to spend the day alone, and went to great lengths not to be detected by avoiding a door and risking setting off an alarm or having to break anything. He just wanted some peace from the onslaught of fractured relationships and obligations he didn't sign up for.
The challenge of parenting ASD children even those with mild traits and with parents with all the best intentions, knowledge and in a strong long lasting partnership should not be understated.
What a tragedy. Parents!! Do not feel too proud to seek help for your kids!!! A 14 year old running away for any length of time should be investigated and immediately dealt with. Allowing him time to ruminate in his dangerous thoughts by ignoring his destructive behavior is what caused his death. The parents inaction. The child’s school is also a problem. So much more could’ve been done to intervene on this child’s behalf
💯 right.
That’s incredibly sad. He was trying to hide and it went wrong.
@traybern
He was trying to HIDE, not die...so yeah, it went very wrong.
Raising Any child is full of hardships
I cannot imagine their pain!
He wasn't trying to commit burglary, the house was abandoned. I have a daughter with a lot of the same diagnosis as this little boy and if you aren't a patient person then it's easy to get irritated, frustrated, think you have a bad child etc. I think the parents were overwhelmed with his behaviors and they ultimately chose to just let him do whatever because I'm sure they were tired of the battles. The moms last words to him was get your ass to school after he tried to say he was sick. His parents met with friends and drank the first two nights he was missing. They just assumed he was doing his typical disappearing act and would eventually come home. I think he had nowhere to go at the time and decided to go into this abandoned house and didn't want to break a window or door so he chose what he thought was the path of least resistance. Its so sad to know a little boy suffered like this ... Especially thinking that my daughter freaks out when she is confined as is common with autism spectrum, so to picture him screaming for help and trying to break free is just so so sad. He was a little boy who had a lot of problems that were out of his control and needed adults to look out for him. But he was failed :'(
What an heart wrenching tragedy. I cannot imagine the fear and suffering Harley endured in his final moments. Conspiracy theories touting alternative methods of Harley’s demise and attacking the police is hateful. Lastly, I can barely listen to the end when a scenario or story includes being inside small spaces. I’m claustrophobic and this gives me a visceral reaction.
I could barely listdn to ghe end when i figured out how he passed! Such a terrible way to die!! Good job covering it Dr. Grande!
Why did people assume he tried to enter to rob the house? He would have known it was vacant. More likely he was exploring. Couldn't he be given the benefit of the doubt?
No it was cold. It's freezing here during that time of year. He was trying to get warm.
OH MY GOD!!!! This episode made me have anxiety attack, I can't imagine The horrible way he died just really made me feel like I couldn't breathe. ,
everytime I hear about one of these deaths it makes me so sad .. such a lonely and frightening way to die! especially a child, my lord
I understand the parents not calling police. Harley has vanished before so there was no reason to suspect he would not return this time.
People in general have little to no common sense. The fact they jumped to a conclusion regarding the coat placement is a perfect example.
This boy was out of control and impulsive. He likely figured he could hole up in the house awhile and go back home.
Unfortunatly his impulsivness became his demise.
It happens to people of all ages and blame can't be placed anywhere but at the adventurers feet.
"People in general have little to no common sense."
If most people don't have it, it's not common.
@@jamese9283 👍👍😉👍
@@jamese9283 Common sense refers to a type of judgement, not to the frequency of that judgement. So it having a low frequency in the population doesn't have any bearing on the fact that it is called common sense. It could be called simple, basic judgement instead of common sense.
it's called HAVING NO LIVES AT REDDIT :)
I have too much time on my hands but I try to fill it ore constructively than gossiping with other reddit folks :)
@traybern That is a great observation.
Very true. Until I lived in a house with a fireplace. I had no idea it had a flue.
So this mishap is very understandable.
Its definately unfortunate.
Most parents aren't ready to deal with kids with ASD. I know, I have ASD, my parents couldn't handle me.
I don't understand how he had barely enough space to fit in there, but somehow had enough room to be able to take his clothes off and throw them into the room? That makes zero sense to me. How do you take a shirt and pants off without being able to move?
It just sounds exactly like something a young boy would do. I don't have any mental health syptoms (that I'm aware of) but the young me definitely got into some tight situations - just out of having an adventurous spirit and curiosity. When I was a boy, my friends and I used to jump off high rooftops and and trees, daring eachother to see who could jump from the highest point. Broken limbs resulted, and laughs were had. I could definitely see myself trying to slide down a chimney like santa claus.
As a woman, I am actually surprised by how many full grown men there are in the world.
It's truly amazing that so many males survive their youth!
❤
I think Harley wanted to hide out from his parents and not go to school that day. I didn't hear any evidence that he intended to steal anything inside the empty house.
This is a great way to start my Sunday! Thanks Dr.G
wut lol
I personally doubt he was trying to burglar this empty home. He didn’t have a history of criminality, he had a history of avoidance. He probably was looking for a quiet place to stay away from his family. Once he gets in the house, he can unlock a back door or something and come and go as he pleases. A quiet safe haven close enough to his home that he can sneak food from the fridge, grab blankets, etc, but away from whatever chaotic or authoritative home environment he was trying to avoid. I’d imagine he was looking for peace and autonomy, two common non-negotiables for us autistics.
Why is it assumed that his intent was to burglarize the house? In the absence of confirming evidence, it’s more likely he wanted to have his own space for a while to avoid school. My guess is that his previous “disappearances” occurred during warmer weather. Ohio Decembers are too cold to be outside for any extended period of time so he needed shelter. Individuals on the spectrum often want/need a quiet space when they’re feeling overstimulated or overwhelmed. This is a tragic case.
He likely had the PDA autism profile. (Pathological Demand Avoidance) it is often misdiagnosed as ODD. Everything that is a demand on us (this includes things we want to do, things like hunger and needing to use the restroom) often trigger fight, flight, freeze reactions and we do anything we can to avoid doing them. We have unbelievable anxiety. An overload of demands will cause horrible meltdowns. Our tolerance level for the demands put on us is often pretty low and it is very debilitating to have this.
My son has ADHD. It's really hard to deal with.
Omega 3 fatty acids, check iron level
That is horrifying. I'm sure he was just exploring while skipping school. I remember doing similar things as a kid out of boredom.
This one ....often I consider the heartache with which parents of children with rare "needs" live daily - moment by moment their struggles can seldom be shared with even family member members....they were my students-for 21 years and the helplessness is a sadness few know. It's very cold in Port Clinton...could have been 25 - 40 degrees below zero with the roaring wind chill factor. God help us all be a kinder community member....💔🎈
I live within 20 minutes of port clinton and this story makes my blood boil. The day he told his mom he didnt feel good she was in bed and didnt even look up. She didnt know the clothes he was wearing because she never seen him. The dad who was a garbage truck driver. His GPS coincidentally turned off for hours the day harley went missing where he also went and dropped a couch off at the landfill. Later when the parents were being investigated they went to the landfill where again coincidentally the couch he had dropped off was on fire. Also the chief of police and the dillys were good friends. And the chief tried to immediately clear them. As for the 41 hours that he was missing. No parent with an autistic child with behavioral issues is going to be ok with their kid being missing for damn near two days. There were also interviews where heather had to be reminded to thank people for searching for harley even though she never joined. As an autistic boy who didnt like being dirty i dont forsee him shoving himself in a dirty chimney especially when there was a broken basement window he couldve went through. They also released an autopsy report that stated there was no soot debris found in his lungs which that was quickly taken down from public eye. He had a youtube channel which one video was of him being locked out , another video of him saying how his mom had gotten mad and broke his glasses and a live stream when you heard the mother screaming and then started beating on him. Which of course had all been removed. The sister who the dillys have custody of her child rory made a video on how she doesnt believe her parents had nothing to do with Harleys death then later deleted her video making another telling everyone to leave the parents alone. The case was closed. The chimney was immediately destroyed, chief of police/friend retired and Harleys body was creamated. The parents and chief got away with murder in my opinion.
Don't you just love it when people who question certain events are automatically labeled, "conspiracy theorists", simply based on the fact that they have questions about the official narrative presented? I'd like to know why any law enforcement would pick a jacket up and hang it up on the top of the door like that. I understand Dr. Grande stating that was before they knew what was going on, but what was the whole reason they were there to begin with? And anything at all that even remotely looked like it could potentially belong to Harley should have not had a finger laid on it, much less hung up on the top of a door, that's something a teenager would do, in my opinion. There are a lot of questions with this case, but I dare not raise them, the fragile world cannot handle it.
@@flinchfiles8445yeah I didn’t think of that… you’re right, they were there to search for Harley. Why would they touch an item of clothing that had even a .001% chance of belonging to him just to hang it on a freaking door? Idk what to think of this case. I think his parents were neglectful, at best, based on the content he posted to his RUclips page.
RIP Harley🕊️
I just wish he had more caring parents. Very sad. 😢
Maybe his uncaring parents were too busy trying to provide with minimal means to do so
Too bad they did not replace his phone with some sort of tracking on it.
how do you take your clothes off in a chinmey AND die of compressive asphyxiation? howd he get his clothes off?
He kicked them off, I think is the idea.
Why do people assume he was robbing the place? He may have just been trying to find a place to skip school.
Aside from that, I do think refusing to replace his phone was a mistake. They didn't have to load it up with apps or games or anything, but the ability to call or text for help might have saved his life.
i've heard this story before but was missing a crucial piece of information (there was no fireplace). it was said his clothes were folded neatly next to the fireplace. that led to speculation that he had been murdered and his body stuffed up the fireplace. that might have been a better end for him? rip harley
I think your mixing this story up with another one.
I think it was fine for the parents to say that he needed to earn a new smartphone, but they should have given him a basic handset for calls and texts.
And not worrying about not seeing a fourteen-year-old for FORTY hours is absurd.
40 hours is a very long time. By 9pm latest after the end of school, let alone that his mother didn’t respond to the missed calls from the school itself. So much time wasted
It can be talked about how “difficult” his condition was for them but none of their responses would have been justified if he DIDNT have autism! They were obviously horrible parents
His life had a lot of struggles due to his health issues. For sure we can’t judge his parents since we are not dealing with children like him. The whole thing was sad and tragic. RIP Harley 🥲
I am from Port Clinton. When this happened, there were all kinds of crazy conspiracies and delusional psychics weighing in. I agree with you Harley’s parents weren’t parents of the year, but there was no way, given the facts, that they had anything to do with his death. This poor family had people shouting outside of their house for weeks “Justice for Harley.” I still can’t drive down that street and see that house without thinking about Harley dying there.
Dr. Grande, I am so happy you covered this story in your naturally unbiased, analytical manner. I am a fan of your videos and your increasing collection of cacti! ❤
I'm surprised someone didn't see him climbing up the house and on the roof. But then it may have only taken a couple of minutes.
I Soo look forward to hearing your ideas as to why certain things happen appreciate you analysis of the situations you cover
How does one know he was intending to commit burglary? He could have been planning to hide from his parents for a while instead.
Remember that Dr Grande is merely speculating. As he himself says repeatedly at the beginning of his videos.
@@rickh3714I would have preferred he hadn't speculated that. It didn't set well with me.
@fashehc Breaking in to hide out from parents would still technically be considered burglary though. Although burglary most often involves a theft, the actual definition is "Entry into a building illegally with intent to commit a crime”.
That crime doesn't always need to be stealing. Criminal trespass is a crime too (it's right there in the name).
So even entering someone's home with the intent to hide out and watch TV and eat snacks could still technically fall under the definition of burglary (even though most would just be charged with trespass if this turned out to be the case) 😉.
I think Dr. Grande was just using the term as it is actually defined and not necessarily assuming stealing was going to happen.
Breaking into a house to "hide from your parents" is burglary
Oh god so claustrophobic…
Just a reminder, I'm not diagnosing anybody in this video; only speculating about what could be happening when cacti slowly sneak up on a RUclips host like this.
🤣
This is horrific that poor little teen boy ... bless his heart
It was so dang cold, this case broke my heart- still does
Excellent wrap up doc.
That poor child. Such a hard life & then to end up slowly dying in that chimney. He wasn't there to burglarize an empty house. He was seeking shelter from his abusive parents & most likely bullies at school. My heart breaks for poor Harley
I agree that assuming burglary is a harsh assumption to make, but so is that his parents were abusive. You shouldn’t make a claim like that without evidence. And no! One exasperated comment from a mom tired of her son trying to get out of school isn’t enough. My mom has said much worst to me, but I wouldn’t call her abusive. Can she sometimes say things that are technically abusive from a strict interpretation, yes. But is she actually abusive, no.
As for locking out of the house, we don’t know if he had a habit of losing keys and his parents were tired of it. Abuse is a strong word. Just because parents aren’t perfect doesn’t mean they’re abusive.
It’s nice that you had such a perfect, idilic childhood that you can say something so horrible based on so little, because to you that’s horrendous compared to what you got. But for the rest of us, that’s all pretty well within the bounds of normal, imperfect parents.
I’m halfway through this video and my heart is so heavy that I can’t listen to anymore. Poor Harley 😞
Poor little guy. 😞
💔 so sad....smh. So sad. Rest in peace, Harley🙏🏾🕊 Love and condolences to his parents & family.
His poor parents. What were they supposed to do? The older the person gets the harder it is to protect them from themselves. A tragedy for all.
@@dws84
Are you always so insensitive?
And the chimney actually was big enough for him to fit....he made it all the way to the bottom, didn't he?
He didn't get stuck midway.
The problem is that there was no exit at the bottom.
His mother locked him out of the house . That's why he tried to climb down the chimney. His mother had threatened to call the police on him so instead of breaking in the house he tried going down the chimney. People that knew what was going on with the family where very angry with the mother and father. This wasn't the first time he had been locked out.
@@jaytee2642As was said though Chimneys narrow as they go on not to mention there’s that damper etc so it’s not a straight line.
It’s why all chimneys should have those caps at the top to prevent anything from entering
@@Lakirk20235e chimney wasn’t in the parents’ home
@lorirogers9304 We all know that. I live not to far away from where this happened. This was his parents fault and everybody knew this. That's why they were protesting. It was against the parents.
Thank Doctor G!! Very insightful!
I'm from there and a few people were absolutely disgusting how they treated his mother.
She is partly at fault, they should not have waited 40 hours to call police, regardless of if he's run off before. With his issues and his age they should have reported him missing long before then
@@maddyc2412even if! It took the police 3 weeks to finally find him. An earlier call would have saved a few hours. Not enough to keep the boy alive. This is heartbreaking.
@@Watcher6868 even if it wouldn't have saved him, it's still weird that they would wait that long, no normal parent would wait so long to report their child missing
I had a very high functioning autistic roommate. I poked fun at him one time by asking why he only eats chicken and he laughed and said: "Well you know... it's funny but i used to only eat burgers... But then my friend told me burgers weren't good for my heart, so I changed to chicken." 😂
This is one of those cases that is quite sad and bizarre as to what all happened. It’s very unfortunate he died. Thank you for the analysis Dr. Grande, I hope you’re having a great weekend. Keep up the great work and take care!
People don't understand how difficult it is to parent extremely difficult children. We all expect parenthood to be mostly good but oftentimes it is seldom good when dealing with children like Harley. Parents do their best but incidents like this sadly happen especially with children who don't follow rules.
Harley was not an extremely difficult child. Please don’t speak of “children like Harley” as if you knew him. He was known to have occasional behavioral issues which were non-violent outbursts. He wasn’t receiving any of the help he needed to cope with the diagnoses he had no control over, so what was he expected to do? Locking him out of the house in the cold, waiting over 40 hours to report him missing… face it, they were shitty and (at best) neglectful parents. How do you go to bed at night not knowing where your child is? I don’t care if he’s run away 50 times (which he hadn’t).
And yes, even if he had been reported missing right away, he still would have died, but that’s totally irrelevant when speaking in defense of the parents because they didn’t know that. Children in general don’t “follow rules” on a consistent basis, especially at age 14. Are you a parent with an “extremely difficult child?” I sincerely hope not. Maybe if he were receiving therapy to help deal with impulsivity and poor decision making this wouldn’t have happened, but that would have been on the parents to seek out. Instead they would just call the police on him when he couldn’t cope with something and had a meltdown. Defending this is abhorrent.
This was absolutely horrific!
Well said, Dr. Grande!
i nailed the door to the laundry shoot closed because of this
He is seen on surveillance footage at 6:08am walking towards the school (video @ 4:06), but he told his mother he didn't want to go to school at 6:50am? (video @ 3:31)
Harley may not have been committing burglary. He didn't want to go to school, and he might have been looking for somewhere to stay. Maybe watch some TV inside that home. Since it was locked, he could only assume what he might find inside. It just seems reasonable to me, that he was looking for a place to "hang out", rather than burglarise.
Burglary is the act of illegally entering a building or other area, usually, but not always, with the intent to commit a felony. Technically, Harley committed burglary the second he entered their private property without their permission, regardless of his intent. Burglary is similar to trespassing.
@@victoriajohnson4420 I thought it was called "break and enter" when a lock is broken to enter private property. But I don't live in the US. I think there is a difference in the severity of the charge in Canada... depending on the intent. Like, the punishment for being a "squater" is less sever than being someone who entered for the purpose of theft.
I think it’s more likely he just wanted a secret, comfortable place he could escape to on weekends when workmen weren’t there… rather than to steal, what? a hammer? He probably thought once he was in, he could unlock a basement window to come and go by.
And maybe he threw his clothes and glasses out knowing people who would be searching for him would recognise the items as his.
Man, I live near Toledo and this whole story was just messed up. It was sad how this poor kid met his demise :(