Indian Jokes Only | Nimesh Patel | Stand Up Comedy

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  • Опубликовано: 19 окт 2024

Комментарии • 338

  • @VARMOT123
    @VARMOT123 Год назад +500

    Dad is cool but mom's got all the stuff . What an analogy lol 🤣

    • @mendi02
      @mendi02 Год назад +27

      u knew who was white and black by that analogy hahahaha

    • @VARMOT123
      @VARMOT123 Год назад +17

      @@mendi02 yeah mum is white people

    • @user-mf4on1pk2z
      @user-mf4on1pk2z Год назад

      @@mendi02 it was pretty funny, but not all whites are successful That’s obvious in this country.

    • @firebadwatergood431
      @firebadwatergood431 Год назад +10

      That line definitely got my attention....lol

    • @ImBatuAhhh
      @ImBatuAhhh 6 месяцев назад

      ​@@VARMOT123he ain't talking about his parents race dummy. Both his parents are Indian

  • @marielacantarero8445
    @marielacantarero8445 Год назад +327

    Bro I saw you in San Antonio a few days back you did amazing man, i love your shorts but watching your set in person was even greater. Hope you continue to make it out here. Peace and love!

  • @crypticTV
    @crypticTV Год назад +40

    2:22 black Vs white Americans
    2:58 white problems
    3:50 Starbucks
    4:17 Indian entry prevention history lesson
    5:13 yoga
    5:58 telemarketing
    6:20 clock
    7:30 dating , white struggle
    8:20 race traitor
    10:20 personal traitor
    11:00 Indian Hollywood

  • @tavenyoung330
    @tavenyoung330 Год назад +209

    I’m Navajo and his comedy is relatable as an Indian Man

    • @seculardharma
      @seculardharma Год назад +11

      😂 as an Indian I concur too

    • @jethu2945
      @jethu2945 Год назад +3

      Uske aage kuch ke sirf relatable

    • @firebadwatergood431
      @firebadwatergood431 Год назад +12

      I am West Indian and I can also relate...lol

    • @jethu2945
      @jethu2945 Год назад +2

      @@firebadwatergood431 i am indian i don't

    • @jethu2945
      @jethu2945 Год назад +1

      @@alphamale..7 nimesh is gujrati fir be he is not retailable

  • @eliotanderson6554
    @eliotanderson6554 Год назад +146

    This guy will rise up I'm happy to see indians becoming popular and getting enough representation

    • @PewPew_111
      @PewPew_111 Год назад +1

      good comics yes - this one's awful

    • @toshoshi1551
      @toshoshi1551 Год назад +6

      Indians have plenty of representation… they have an entire country with one of the biggest populations, one of the most successful combined film industries and the fastest growing economy in the world. They already own tons of businesses in the US. Yes they suffered at the hands of the British empire with over 40 million dead. That being said, they are just fine.

    • @utkarsh2746
      @utkarsh2746 11 месяцев назад

      You wrote all that just to say that Indian people are doing fine? Okay. @@toshoshi1551

    • @Xinnie_The_Flu
      @Xinnie_The_Flu 11 месяцев назад

      He's American

    • @mayureshzore3456
      @mayureshzore3456 10 месяцев назад +5

      ​@@toshoshi1551 He's saying in the US.... Indian population is like 1%... so they need more representation...
      and as another topic, Indians in US really struggle in dating market due to the weird stereotypes... so that weird

  • @aarongomez2032
    @aarongomez2032 Год назад +65

    Just saw Nimesh's show tonight in Phoenix! It was great! I was busting a nut laughing so hard! I wish Nimesh all the success, he's funny, humble and is a great comedian! Thank you sir!

  • @santoshaiyar3884
    @santoshaiyar3884 Год назад +22

    I'm an Indian from India and I loved this shit. Don't know why I felt like mentioning the first part though. But yeah. Keep it up!

  • @Anmolgupta1995
    @Anmolgupta1995 Год назад +64

    12 years a med student 😂😂😂. Great one 👍🏻

  • @MikeMikeMiker
    @MikeMikeMiker 2 месяца назад +8

    Bro, you're spot on. I was a tech recruiter for 17 years and spent a couple of years at Hewlett Packard building out an entire software development team. In those two years, I was unable to find an American born white engineer, man, or woman. On another note, I wouldn't be surprised if we find an Indian American running for office in the next decade that can actually win. Indians are already CEOs of the largest tech companies in the world. Respect.

    • @marshwetland3808
      @marshwetland3808 Месяц назад

      In the next decade? How about it's been happening since a week before you posted?

    • @MikeMikeMiker
      @MikeMikeMiker Месяц назад

      LoL, you got me. Totally over my head

    • @marshwetland3808
      @marshwetland3808 Месяц назад

      @@MikeMikeMiker Kamala Harris. Look her up.

    • @MikeMikeMiker
      @MikeMikeMiker Месяц назад

      @@marshwetland3808 Alright there buddy. Relax, you made your point.

  • @VARMOT123
    @VARMOT123 Год назад +50

    Great video. Far better than most stand ups these days . Not punching down . Good clever comedy . Carlin-esque

    • @firebadwatergood431
      @firebadwatergood431 Год назад +2

      Definitely, he takes comedy to a higher neurological level....lol

  • @vivekshankar9977
    @vivekshankar9977 Год назад +28

    Dope haha, hadn't heard some of these before. Love your delivery dude!

  • @jadejabrijrajsinh8610
    @jadejabrijrajsinh8610 Год назад +55

    Even though I have watched most of these jokes before this never fails to crack me up.

  • @my11badkids78
    @my11badkids78 Год назад +275

    I noticed up here in NE that Indians don't own any businesses that sell any sort of beef. They own Popeyes chickens, Dunkins and places like that. I understand them not eating beef but it also seems as though they won't sell it either.

    • @SiriusMined
      @SiriusMined Год назад

      Muslim and Sikh Indians eat beef

    • @juvingonsalves
      @juvingonsalves Год назад +32

      alot eat and sell too.

    • @SohamSMore
      @SohamSMore Год назад +9

      Dunkin' has sausages from what I remember

    • @amoljadhav391
      @amoljadhav391 Год назад +1

      Muslims don't sell pork.. Christians don't sell dog meat...whats big deal

    • @mattlangevin9167
      @mattlangevin9167 Год назад +106

      How strange to be principled .. extremely un-American

  • @sarasagaii3090
    @sarasagaii3090 Год назад +21

    "There's a vibe of Indian dudes who've been gentrified, and I think I embody that vibe" ☠️🤡🤭

  • @athenjackson3657
    @athenjackson3657 Год назад +21

    You're one of my favorites bro, effortlessly funny. You gotta come to CT some time

  • @ps-vd3tr
    @ps-vd3tr Год назад +22

    This is so good. Lucky for the people who attend, he's gonna go big soon!

  • @defaultname992
    @defaultname992 Год назад +10

    The more I watch your videos, the more I like you. You deserve your own netflix show.

  • @preeti496
    @preeti496 Год назад +6

    Many indian "indentured servants" (slaves) come to usa to build their railways. The majority of indians came in the 20th century, but a sizable chunk came much before that. They built homes and even were trading and opening clubs, but a racust law was passed against indians owning the business, and everything was taken away from them. One such businessman took his own life by blowing up himself with his property out of frustration of his businesses being taken away everytume he starts something.

  • @James-hs3tu
    @James-hs3tu Год назад +5

    Go Eat some. Curry. !!!!!
    Why wouldn't i do that 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @ankurgandhe
    @ankurgandhe Год назад +8

    Love the dry humor. Come to Seattle Nimesh,!

  • @davidserlin8097
    @davidserlin8097 Год назад +23

    “12 years a med student” ❤

  • @ryman2631
    @ryman2631 9 дней назад +1

    2:09 this one bit is amazing 🤣🤣

  • @Zombi3ee
    @Zombi3ee Год назад +12

    Lmao this is great

  • @samuelchepkwony4895
    @samuelchepkwony4895 9 месяцев назад +6

    Dunkin Donuts; "Dont Ask, Dont Tell"

  • @narayaniyer7363
    @narayaniyer7363 Год назад +29

    You put every American typical stand up comedian on one side and stand uniquely on the other. You are a new age genius like Kapil Sharma in India, just that you seem more impromptu. Simply relaxing to watch you.

    • @jethu2945
      @jethu2945 Год назад +2

      Naaah

    • @bonemarrow3439
      @bonemarrow3439 Год назад +8

      This man is better than kapil sharma hands down

    • @jethu2945
      @jethu2945 Год назад

      @@bonemarrow3439 lol

    • @narayaniyer7363
      @narayaniyer7363 Год назад +2

      @@bonemarrow3439 I would not say that. Kapil and his team are a blockbuster unparalleled.

    • @prakhar9473
      @prakhar9473 Год назад

      @@narayaniyer7363 bruh kapil is cringe and stoopid asf.

  • @LunatiqHigh
    @LunatiqHigh 5 месяцев назад +1

    The dad joke following around fitness trainers was hilarious.

  • @prakashtiwari8003
    @prakashtiwari8003 Год назад +12

    This shit is fire bro. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Yamazaki112
    @Yamazaki112 6 месяцев назад +3

    Bruh you're the funniest Indian comic out right now.

  • @Nippat_Chai
    @Nippat_Chai Год назад +6

    You deserve more popularity in india like if someone google Russel Peter your name should come up

  • @32334694
    @32334694 Год назад +23

    Nimesh is gonna explode on internet like Schulz pretty soon. Is there an Australian tour coming up?

  • @umangrungta1
    @umangrungta1 Год назад +11

    I got my name as Kumar in Starbucks as well.
    Kumar doesn’t have any consonants in common with my name 😂😂

    • @kaiz3nberg
      @kaiz3nberg Год назад +2

      LMFAOOOOOOO they didn’t even try to hear yo name just put the first indian name they could think of on there dawg

  • @desiparyatak
    @desiparyatak Год назад +8

    You are funny man!! Love❤ from India

  • @HeavyJay1421
    @HeavyJay1421 Год назад +4

    Where I'm from the Indians often own the 711s but the gas pump never works.

  • @mckezik
    @mckezik Год назад +13

    I’m watching this in the Maldives 🇲🇻

  • @BhargavSushant
    @BhargavSushant 10 месяцев назад +1

    There are 50+ Columbia level suspensions in this video 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @mrboredomfighter
    @mrboredomfighter Год назад +5

    Nimesh, please come to Vancouver Canada!

  • @PiusXulu
    @PiusXulu 4 месяца назад +2

    Genuinely funny and natural.

  • @sayz1000
    @sayz1000 Год назад +4

    Just what I needed to start the week properly

  • @rohanfernandez6027
    @rohanfernandez6027 Год назад +5

    Great set.

  • @Samaniegoklown
    @Samaniegoklown Год назад +12

    Lol

  • @saber8560
    @saber8560 Год назад +5

    yo thats fireeee

  • @customincisivecomment
    @customincisivecomment Год назад +10

    You turned into Hedberg there for a second haha. Love it, baby

  • @1953lili
    @1953lili 5 месяцев назад +4

    Dunkin is cool however I will never again step foot in a Starbucks since I was ignored after waiting in line for 20 minutes. I am in a wheelchair and old so I guess the young white female counterperson didn’t “see” me. When she turned to me she was patronizing and condescending.....so nope; don’t care if I’m having espresso withdrawal....

  • @xcalium9346
    @xcalium9346 Год назад +19

    in before someone comments "this guy only ever does jokes about indians 🙄"

  • @soya5180
    @soya5180 Год назад +19

    it's sad that they know they're not Indians, but we all accept calling them Indians

  • @abhirajanand8903
    @abhirajanand8903 2 месяца назад +2

    Crazy good!!

  • @anujgrover9842
    @anujgrover9842 Год назад +15

    Rooting for Nimesh 💯

  • @swordofdurga
    @swordofdurga Год назад +11

    The thing is his jokes are real... And celebral.... It takes a moment to get it.

    • @squeet6831
      @squeet6831 Год назад +4

      The fact that you misspelled cerebral makes this comment so much better.

    • @_SPREZZATURA_McGEE_
      @_SPREZZATURA_McGEE_ Год назад +2

      I CEREBRATE YOU, BLO!!

    • @swordofdurga
      @swordofdurga Год назад +2

      @@squeet6831 no thanks to autocorrect 🤪

  • @countroshculla
    @countroshculla Год назад +1

    12 Years a Med Student! LOL

  • @ajaysaini2349
    @ajaysaini2349 Год назад +4

    Represent!!!!

  • @nishitsharma4526
    @nishitsharma4526 Год назад +2

    Well don't bitch yog please
    Anyways it's hilarious

  • @chrisjones4702
    @chrisjones4702 Год назад +2

    I wrote a paper back in college about the Indians on HB1 vesas stealing the good jobs. everyone in the class thought I was crazy. LOL

    • @AnnaBananana93
      @AnnaBananana93 Год назад +4

      Yeah but they’re terrified of losing their jobs and getting kicked out of the country and work insane hours that most native born individuals would refuse too.

  • @aumarigan
    @aumarigan 2 месяца назад +1

    This guy really looks and sounds high when he is on stage. 😂

  • @pianomerchant1830
    @pianomerchant1830 Год назад +2

    So happy this came in my timeline

  • @sicklecuthammerfall
    @sicklecuthammerfall Год назад +2

    love the handful of shots of angry white women in the crowd lol, they must be fun at parties

  • @AnjelLee-f8c
    @AnjelLee-f8c Месяц назад +1

    Niki Minnan is actually mixed with Indian.

  • @sialo1
    @sialo1 2 месяца назад +1

    Your vocal fry is directly proportional to your drunkenness, lol.

  • @gajendradwivedi6149
    @gajendradwivedi6149 Год назад +3

    Med student joke😂😂😂😂

  • @enzomthethwa5861
    @enzomthethwa5861 Год назад +18

    It's refreshing to hear an Indian American to admit that, as a people group, they are essentially white. I've been thinking this since living in the Bay Area. The disparity between Indian and white (or any other Asian ethnicity, for that matter) is almost nil compared to the disparity between white and black.

    • @RAIRADIO
      @RAIRADIO Год назад +7

      ​@@rishavmalveeya not really.. most come from villages of Andra Pradesh. But they make less emotional and more economic choices.

    • @entertained...
      @entertained... Год назад

      depends on when and where they settled down, and how much money they make. also, the bay area is not like most of the US. i'm from LA, and i can tell you we are not essentially white; however, we definitely don't get treated as bad as other brown folks.

    • @RAIRADIO
      @RAIRADIO Год назад +5

      @@rishavmalveeya No its not expensive... the companies sponsor your visa. And its sheer hardwork and parents living frugally to pay for tuitions that get them engineering degree. Its not correct to portray it like they were born with a silver spoon. And even a well off person in India is a poor person in USA. Your savings are in rupees.

    • @arofficial3344
      @arofficial3344 Год назад

      ​@@RAIRADIO it's due to tech jobs

    • @VijayThakurMD
      @VijayThakurMD Год назад +1

      @@rishavmalveeya wtf you taking about
      You don't money for engineering in India
      IIT are cheap

  • @JJ-tr6rx
    @JJ-tr6rx 2 месяца назад

    I get so much Mitch Hedberg vibes from you!

  • @1235368
    @1235368 Год назад +2

    Snag me a Sanjay 😂😂😂

  • @ritvikawasthi8146
    @ritvikawasthi8146 Год назад +1

    2:15 Non align movement 2.0

  • @MikeMikeMiker
    @MikeMikeMiker 2 месяца назад +1

    Also, this is probably the best set of yours I've ever watched. Looking forward to seeing you live

  • @joydipdewanjee993
    @joydipdewanjee993 Год назад +18

    stand up scene is getting bigger in India.. TALK TO YOUR MANAGER ..

    • @VARMOT123
      @VARMOT123 Год назад +3

      but most of them are bleh and don't have the freedom of speech to punch up the powerful that is where the best comedy comes from

    • @karankumar-km9gi
      @karankumar-km9gi Год назад +1

      @@VARMOT123 lol, watch vipul goyal, he punches it pretty hard...

  • @Anlonn
    @Anlonn Год назад +5

    good jokes :)) btw the difference between white and dark skin is just some have more melanin hormone. :) same same but different :)

  • @pawanbellubbi4135
    @pawanbellubbi4135 Год назад +2

    Yo Nimz. Was there a time when the joke about your ex having a Boyfriend name Nimesh, stopped at, "her boyfriend was Nimesh" .. and then a few reiterations later, added.. "that was more personal than funny"...
    I mean the joke writing process here

  • @sumeshkrishnan8618
    @sumeshkrishnan8618 2 месяца назад

    This is soooo good/coooool/super 👌👏👏👏

  • @juvingonsalves
    @juvingonsalves Год назад +5

    real good jokes

  • @thelinguistshow
    @thelinguistshow Год назад +2

    Love the voice

  • @meharmira
    @meharmira Год назад +4

    You are brilliant!!! ❤

  • @chenellmullins
    @chenellmullins Год назад +1

    I just booked my tickets for March 4th in Charlotte 😊😊😊

  • @brunette5121
    @brunette5121 Год назад +4

    "i'm addicted to heroin" lmaoo

  • @tilotommaa
    @tilotommaa Год назад +3

    I love your jokes 😁

    • @jethu2945
      @jethu2945 Год назад

      I dont

    • @roy.sandeepan
      @roy.sandeepan Год назад

      ​@@jethu2945then watch something else, this aint your space

  • @firebadwatergood431
    @firebadwatergood431 Год назад +10

    I am Indian and my husband is white. Your comedy is hilariously real and true...lol. I love it. I spent my whole life in the USA and finally we got some Indian dudes doing comedy....FANTASTIC and sooo funny. I love it!!

    • @shreyaskumarrath721
      @shreyaskumarrath721 Год назад

      Ay if we Indian dudes don't support our fellow girls' who else will?

  • @Smarty-tz1jt
    @Smarty-tz1jt Год назад +3

    as a kumar I can confirm it was mine

  • @BittooSinghCooks
    @BittooSinghCooks 2 месяца назад

    Hilarious! Kinda reminds me of the late Mitch Hedberg.

  • @pri22v11
    @pri22v11 Год назад +3

    Would love to see a Indian American comedian who doesn’t reference race or mock his cultural background. It so easy to do and is a cheap laugh. “I’m racist toward my own people” - hilarious. Pathetic

  • @corum7503
    @corum7503 7 месяцев назад

    📍Bauer College of Business
    📍Alvarez College of Business
    📍Marshall College of Business
    📍Mendoza College of Business
    📍Lundquist College of Business
    📍Fuqua College of Business

  • @thomasandersen5349
    @thomasandersen5349 Год назад +3

    I hopped into a Ford Focus, which was what Uber said was coming for me... Car pulls up, I hop in, introduce myself, and this skinny ass white guy just goes into conniptions, offended I thought he was an Uber. I just said my bad bro, calm down, my mistake - and got out.
    Not a minute later, my intended ride showed... the real Uber driver and I had a laugh about it.

  • @animeshpandit783
    @animeshpandit783 Год назад +1

    I'm Animesh .... You're a Nimesh.... Barumptssss....

  • @Sachinaditya5
    @Sachinaditya5 11 месяцев назад +1

    Was that really Mom & Dad sitting there...???

  • @sgt.politeness1677
    @sgt.politeness1677 Год назад +1

    Mast hai bhai tu👌

  • @WendyCarrey
    @WendyCarrey 4 месяца назад +1

    Nimesh. You are a Beautiful Soul. I Love you. Wendy Carrey👑💯😂💯🥷💯🦉💯🪬

  • @Memes-y-lz1xh
    @Memes-y-lz1xh 4 месяца назад

    The Kesha tiktok joke has aged well

  • @thebrownbatman9223
    @thebrownbatman9223 10 месяцев назад +1

    The Indians gonna have to choose came true during Israel Hamas war.

  • @PopBeerCan-rm6go
    @PopBeerCan-rm6go 2 месяца назад

    Was he low key bragging about how educated indians are.👏👏👏👏

  • @changeorbeextinct
    @changeorbeextinct Год назад

    Yeah.. Dunkin Donuts baby...

  • @therer15letters33
    @therer15letters33 Год назад

    888th👍 LFG Nimesh out here funny as ever 😂

  • @shahzaibraza5243
    @shahzaibraza5243 Год назад +1

    Nimesh is the best

  • @aniruddhaingle5378
    @aniruddhaingle5378 Год назад

    @6:15

  • @SuperSayantan
    @SuperSayantan Год назад

    m the new sanjay in this beautiful country. man your jokes are relatable!

  • @MetatronsWing
    @MetatronsWing 2 месяца назад +1

    dang, so many commercials ruining the punch lines! too many Nimesh... you can limit them..... but love your comedy.

  • @ratnaparkhiswapnil
    @ratnaparkhiswapnil Год назад

    See you in Phoenix

  • @manmohanr7840
    @manmohanr7840 Год назад +2

    My man cashing in on stereotypes .

  • @Meganwade42
    @Meganwade42 Год назад +59

    Perfect timing I needed something to watch while I'm getting ready for my sugar daddy date. Love you man, thanks for the laughs ❤️

  • @Whynotthem65
    @Whynotthem65 4 месяца назад

    He's referring to NYC

  • @ashutoshgarg146
    @ashutoshgarg146 Год назад

    Legend

  • @AbhishekPatel-si7uq
    @AbhishekPatel-si7uq Год назад

    😂

  • @guywhocanFu
    @guywhocanFu Год назад

    😂😂

  • @humaneone5581
    @humaneone5581 Год назад

    Love ya