He Expects Me To Work And Take Care Of Him...
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- Опубликовано: 28 окт 2024
- Do you feel like you have too much on your plate and don't know how to manage it all? Join us for today's live show where we will be discussing this common problem and sharing tips on how to deal with feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. We'll be featuring a question from a viewer who is struggling with an issue that seems too difficult to change, but there is hope. Don't miss out on today's show and bring your questions!
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My hubby had a really bad stroke a couple of years ago at 58 yo. They saved his life and he recovered but not fully. Still working full time due to health insurance. Eye sight still not the best , weakness in left arm. He is exhausted after staring into his work computer screen all day. The meds are also adding to his tiredness. He is walking at least 5 times a week which is hard for him.
He is a jack of trades and was my handy man but certain things cannot do anymore so now hiring electrician s, plumbers that he used to be able to do. He does wash dishes and minor house repair. Not all strokes are equal and some recover fully and some not. I’m just grateful that the doctors saved his life. Now discovered he has a hole in his heart chambers and surgery on May 15. Please keep him in your prayers and my older sister passed away last month so dealing with all her finances and sorting stuff. Thank goodness she was not a hoarder . Life is hard.
Thank you so much, Tawra for sticking up for Stay at home moms.
I think that you guys are so comforting to everyone who watches, I've learned from Jill and from Tara about how to pick up as I go and i also learned that the lay down in the afternoon is great idea for those who suffer from certain issue. thank you. I'm the only one really doing all the cleaning cooking etc and we only have 3 people, but we're all handicapped in some way. and on retirement. so, if the kids stop in, rarely, we get some extra help. but keeping it picked up, and then doing only once a week deep cleaning is the key. schedule and make other people work too. even small tasks can be done by us who have health issues. love and hugs and prayers to everyone who will accept Jesus' words of comfort and joy.
We have been in separate rooms for many years because we kept waking each other up. We still like each other.
Even if you don’t have children but make being a housewife your career it is more than a full time job. And a career to be proud of
Good luck with some of the issues some you are having. Yikes. But I will tell you this…deciding to have your peace is the best thing ever. ❤
The hubby who had a stroke may need some help from doctor or physical therapy or some depression going on. Could just given up and just sitting around while she is at work. I so understand her feeling overwhelmed.
I do free grocery pick up from Walmart. I keep adding things to my list on the Walmart app so I have a list of what we need.
My husband had a stroke. Sometimes it's not just a matter of energy for that person, but their new cognition. You gave her good advice to minimize as much as she can
Trying to catch up with the Mike and Tawra videos. Life has been crazy. A happy blessed 96 bday to your grandma. God bless. Wish grandma would come do a cameo on your show. She would be a rock star.
Thank you for such great tips! My husband also had a stroke about 9 years ago and we've found many ways to help him. He can't use his left side (especially hard not using his left hand) so we have a few ways that have helped. Don't wear outside shoes in the house, it helps keep things cleaner. And wash hands every time you come in from errands, etc. My husband uses paper plates and utensils because it is difficult to wash dishes. Don't bring any mail or packages into the house. We have a garbage can in the garage that we go through the mail and throw what we don't need away. We also have almost all our bills on auto withdrawal, so there are few checks written, etc. Stay minimalist in your decor as Tawra said. Have one set of sheets per bed so that when you change them you have to wash them and put them right back on to minimize stacks of dirty laundry. My husband has a stand up walker (you rest your forearms on top) and we added a basket to the seat so he can help move laundry and straighten up things. For the yard, we mulch every year so that there is no need to weed, and all my husband has to do is use his riding mower to cut the grass. These are just a few of our ideas, thanks again for your compassion and great tips for the disabled!
Great ideas to help a lot of people. Thanks for sharing. Bravo!
@@dustcloudfeatherstone8195 glad it was helpful!
Great tips. I am so sorry for your hubby stroke.my hubby had one 2 years ago at 58. He recovered but not fully. Same with weak left arm and eye sight. But he still has to work due to health insurance. He does what he can small projects around the house. Light house work because he is mentally exhausted from work and meds. God bless you and your husband.
Go Tawra! This was so empowering to me, what a great message for the upcoming Mother's Day. My husband and I once got into an argument because of how tired he was when he was in a phase where he was not lifting a finger around the house. He was telling me he was "walking hills for 3+ miles" at work an I pulled up my watch and showed him my 5 mile per day walking averaged 15/24 hours standing time on a day I did nothing but stay home with the kids. Mom's do a ton working outside the home or not.
I agree. We have four children and when they were all home I was on my feet 12-14 hours a day. That was before we had watches that could track our steps. We also have a lot of stairs in our home with bedrooms upstairs and also in the basement. I was exhausted. My husband worked hard too but when he came home he felt his responsibilities stopped. He would get in his recliner and relax a few hours before going to bed. Thats something I couldn’t do. The few times I asked for his help, he said he wasn’t going to work all day and come home and do my work. In his mind I had it easy because I didn’t have a job outside the home.
@@tammypierce3250 Wow. My husband always pitched in when he got home from work. He helped with dinner cleanup and bedtime with the kids. On the weekends, he would throw in a load of laundry and even fold it. Sometimes he would wipe down a bathroom sink or two. He also would run to the grocery store. I was exhausted after a long day at home with 3 small children and he could see that. There is no way he would have sat in a chair and watched TV while I did all the evening chores. I really don't know how I would have reacted to that. It's probably a good thing he never tried it!
Oh my God!! Just made the butter walnut cookies! So delicious!! They’re a keeper!! 💜💙
Wife - I'm not easy to live with and if I was the husband, I would not want to be married to me. Husband - Several years ago my husband started saying, "thank you" to me for the things I did for him. I was totally shocked and didn't know what the heck was going on. I finally figured out that he was getting older and his health was declining and he is becoming more and more needing my assistance so I guess he figured out that he needed to start being nice to me so I was there to do things for him and take care of him.
Although I know why he now says, "thank you" to me, I'm glad to hear it.
So true I cleaned out the paperwork on bills and schreded
For the man that had a stroke: as most of us know, not all recover at the same rate, or at all, even if the strokes look almost the same on films. If this was discussed, please forgive me: When was the last time he saw a doctor and went for therapy? If he's homebound, sometimes a therapist can visit him at home & might show him a few more adaptive ways to do things better. The therapist may suggest a few adaptive devices to give him more freedom to accomplish things. If possible, the person that had the stoke needs something to do that will help him feel that he accomplished something--that he did it & with no help.
I would look into getting help. Look into what you can take advantage of with his insurance. I take care of a family member who had a few strokes. A company pays me to take care of him.
Excellent advice!! 10 to 20 minutes per day on a section at a time. I needed to hear this! Thank you!!🥰
Wishing you a
💐Happy Mother's Day 💐, Tawra.
Blessings. prayer hugs. 🥳🙌🏼🙏🏻
I've recommended your method of housekeeping to my daughter who also has fibromyalgia, same issues as you. Told her to break down a big task into pieces, deal with a single talk at a time and declare even a partial victory a win. Next time work on something else, little by little. Focus on what you can do instead of what you can't. Discover that with a little effort you might actually be able to do stuff you thought you couldn't do, just a little differently. People who don't know her are surprised to find out she has so many health issues because she manages to keep herself looking nice and gets stuff done.
I’m glad I worked. I’m retired now and living off social security and my pension that i contributed to each year
Yes! I am planning to do the same late next year. Can't wait!
My husband works on vintage vehicles in his retirement. One of the men he worked for had a 1950 Pontiac he just wanted out of his garage..my husband worked for him and they kept track of his hours until the car was paid for.😊We have been retired for a long time. No debt...he enjoys taking the car to a few local car shows. He does help me in many ways. 59 years in July..
I agree with you about type II diabetes..my husband lost weight, walked in the evening..his diabetes has improved so much that his doctor was amazed! His blood pressure is now normal, too.
I recently had a tire go flat while i was just starting to turn out main road. Turns out it was dry rotted and literally split in half. If i had been going fast i would have lost control and rolled it. Hubby put all new tires without blinking an eye. Quite a scare when we realized how bad they had gotten.
What a great show Mike and Tawara, sorry I couldn't make the live show, but it was fun to hear you read them out loud and respond.
Happy Belated Birthday, Grandma. Congratulations. 🎊🎉🎈
i have volumes 1 and 2. I make the ranch dressing all the time. Will never go back to store bought again. I could name a lot of stuff I make from the cookbooks but it would be a book of its own. ha ha
Oh , we LOVE YMCA of the Rockies! That’s our family’s favorite get-away! We live near Castle Rock. Always do mini golf, and hang out in the main lodge. 😊
Years ago, I broke my ankle badly, so I borrowed an old wheelchair from my Aunt, and would scoot along in that wheelchair, and sweep the floors, tidy up in the kitchen, and did what I could, which actually was a lot with that old wheelchair, Was kind of funny actually, but it got done. LOL
Yes! We don’t know til we try, right?? I hope you are doing well.
Just received my planner yesterday and I absolutely love it ❤
Good advice, Tawra. Thank you!
Yes. Make it simple.
cloud seeding thus the extreme weather recently and it doesn’t look like it’s going to change 😮
If the 2 kids are home from college, get them to help you get things in order so when they go back to school things are more manageable for you. Also, work on 1 room or area a week so it doesn't feel so overwhelming and it gets you in a routine. When I decluttered my house, it felt so freeing!!! I'm going to run through things again to see if I can declutter even more. It also helped with my motivation. You've got this girl!!!
To avoid e-coli, I buy beef roast and grind it (can be done in food processor). Then I freeze it in the sizes i need. E-coli usually occurs with commercially ground meat. Hope this helps!
“Type 2 if your a hoarder” made me laugh so hard 🤣
I’m 1-1/2 in getting-it-together as decluttering is concerned 🤪
If he expects her to take care of him. He has little motivation to do anything for himself
Please please do not make your child quit their extra extracurricular activities. Your child is only young and in high school once let them
Have fun. They will
Be working the rest of their lives. High school should be a fun time especially if they are a Senior
Your fudge brownie s are devine. Thank you so much.
I bought all 3 of your cookbooks for a gift!
Oil should not go in a dishwasher or pipes. It will cool down and clog up your pipes. If you have septic it's bad for that to.
Great advise thanks for your videos
The change in vision didn't happen overnight. It was happening for some time, but he was compensating. Eyes were overworked all the time, and at one point they snapped. No more compensation. New lenses done the magic.
I guess I'd be in the middle. My house is clean, we all help out. We all just have too much stuff. My husband, and children, are packrats, "collectors " 🙄.... I just have a hard time getting rid of potentially useful things. I don't know if it comes from a scarcity mentality from growing up poor, but "We might need it later" is my biggest hangup to having a tidy, organized, peaceful home.
I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia and a crap ton of other things wrong with me. My husband has bought a truck on 3 of my birthdays. I have severe decision anxiety and I will look at the websites give him 2 trucks to go look at and let him pick. It kills me to make a major decision like that so he does. But we still joke that he buys trucks for my birthday lol
Be sure to take time for her own health. When my hubby became 100% disabled. Don’t forget to exercise and take care of her health. I didn’t and I gained 60 lbs in a year. 20 years later I am still working on loosing that last 20 lbs. take care of wife’s health
progress not perfection!!!
Great discussions! Thank YOU! 🥰Blessings from South Australia💕🐨
Regarding Mike's eyesight: Years ago, my husband & I both had our eyesight improve dramatically. Doctor said it was from the new vitamins we were taking. My mother & brother are diabetic, and their eyesight improved after taking new vitamins, but it was not dramatic changes.
Years later I woke up with hardly any vision in my eye. When I first went in that day, I had to see the physician assistant. She ran tests & saw nothing wrong & told me I had to have seen my eyesight going bad. The doctor's office called me that afternoon & asked me to come back in. He told me I'd had an eye bleed & I had laser surgery that day. He also referred me to a retina specialist. I went through 2-3 more eye bleeds in a short time & laser surgeries & then an outpatient surgery.
type 1.5 also go microwave, the oven/stove takes longer to just do things
Great advice!
Teenager needs to be taught to do laundry and cook meals and do other chores around the house.
Ordered a cookbook a couple days ago I’m excited about it arriving soon.
1. I am too fussy, everything has to be just so..If I fold one towel a little off normal------later that day I HAVE TO go refold it. However, I don't let things overwhelm me.
Maybe ask around at church or if some of your friends like to help you organize. I love to do this for free.
LOL, in central OH you had to separate for 6 months before getting the actual divorce. I was kind of mad. I still remember the judge. She was so nice and wished us good luck at the end. I bank online. I check my account every day to make sure I'm not overs pending. And I use my debit card rather than my credit card. I was always so scared to ask my ex for any kind of money. I kept my own account and tried to have my own money.
Didn’t he have insurance ? Surely a home health aide or a homemaker paid with Medicare could help!? (I’m commenting before I watched the whole thing so don’t know if you touched in this) It IS fulfilling to help the infirmed spouse but she is obviously overwhelmed.
My ex and I had huge issues. He refused to go to counseling.
Congrats on your grandma's 96 birthday!! The Bible Study was good. Matthew 15 CH 1.
You have to set an expectation of spending money. Both people have to be on board with the spending of the grocery money. If you both put money aside for junk food, then you don’t get to say how they’re spending it.
My eye prescription changed overnight. It was 2 months before I turned 40. I just couldn’t focus. It did have something to do with my close up vision needing attention to get bifocals.
Has Mike had MRI/MRA of head? I would be looking at the ocular arteries and nerve damage such as demyelination.
Hair conditioner will debubble soap also.
7 Years. Physical therapy? Should be able to do more by now. Thinking more psychological with house work. It's hard to deal with teens. My son's friends think I'm too hard but they don't cook or couldn't be left alone either. Mine does everything not always willing. I've reflex sympathetic dystrophy and it's hard. Comes and goes. No clothes ever on floor except son's room 3 day limit wash them. No dishes ever in sink. Wash your plates. I got 4 plates for 2 of us. 6 forks. If you haven't worn it or used it in over a year. Get rid of it. Sell it for extra$. Mondays get 5 cans of whatever you eat in a can. Tuesday meat is discounted. Get a insta pot thing. I love it. Frozen to done fast
😊😊hugs i know your struggles all to well and I do both and very hard to get a normal job cause of health issues
I am a clean freak so definitely a 1.
My vision changed for the better with no idea why. I do have a brain tumor but the doctors are confused because the pressure and position of my tumor should make my vision worse if anything not better. They also don’t know if it’s my medication even though it’s an un known side effect if it is a side effect so I had to get new glasses and contacts because it was such a significant change in both of my eyes. My eye doctor and my other doctors have no idea how this happened so we’re just keeping an eye on it and doing extra testing every three months and if my medication change or retesting my eyes to see if it changes with my medication. But as of right now, no one has any idea why my vision started to significantly. But as soon as I got my new prescription, just a week ago, my eyes no longer hurt, my contacts are glasses. The eye doctor said my eyes were working way too hard to try to make my vision correct because the prescriptions in both eyes were way too strong which I just had that prescription eight months prior.
What about grown men that want to play video games every night with a family
Time to have a serious chat. Maybe they don't know you need help. Let them know. Mike plays games with the boys almost every night...but he also helps me out.
Did I say tomatoes or potatoes? I meant potatoes. My sister will have to shop at Costco when my nephews are older, because they will be really big and tall. My brother-in-law is really tall, and the men in my family are tall too. I'm only 5'1 because I was a preemie. At Trader Joe's on Monday, I saw this tiny, tiny baby, who was probably also a preemie. People call me Little Michelle.
I am a 1.5.
It's hard to give good advice when you don't know the extent of the disabilities the stroke left him with. He may need to be evaluated by an occupational therapist to see what he can do.
That would explain his headaches,
Relationships need work and on same page. Pay bills first then sit down with how much is left to spend. Then tell your spouse that's yours for month to spend this this is mine. This won't work but the talk needs done
Could Mike's eye issue be from getting covid a few times? Doesn't it cause spike protein's? From what I understand spike protein's can do weird things. Like my nephew becoming glucose intolerant after getting covid (no he didn't get the vax)
And singles do it all with no help ever.
I'm in between
Is he not receiving disability income?
And yes 7 million fish do not want to work either. No thanks. Not interested in that.
Only took 1 1/2 hours
Ck your thyroid gland. My vision got better from one year to the next. bern
11111111 (extremely clean & organized) 😂
If he gets disability, the teenager will get something too... social security.
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Is God healing your eye Mike.?
nope not yet
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I ate only sugar free jello green color for 3 days preparing for a colonoscopy and actually it got me by pretty good.
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