The idea of being healthily disabled is one I have had to struggle with since I was 17. During the pandemic I was in constant pain and many doctors could not diagnose me with anything. When I had days of no pain suddenly I was "cured" but then I would be in pain and the cycle continued, the constant battle of having a chronic illness but also being healthy. People struggle beneath the surface, everyone is valid whether or not they are 'healthy' we should just show our support.
The videos exploration of societal ideals and individual struggles really resonates with me. It highlights the tension between personal aspirations and external expectations. It makes me reflect on how these standards can both motivate us to achieve greatness and also lead to feelings of inadequacy. Recognizing that everyone encounters hurdles encourages a shift from judgment to fostering a supportive environment. This shift can lead to a more compassionate and understanding culture, where empathy takes precedence over criticism.
The question you quoted from Robert Browning intrigued me because it made me realize Barbie's seemingly perfect life was static without any goal/challenge. However, when her heels hit the floor, she faces a new fear of being ridiculed by her peers. This idea of conforming to standards and desire to break them appears in Thomas Hardy's "In Time of the Breaking of Nations," where he situates a "man harrowing clods" as equal to "Dynasties," and a "maid and her wight" equal to "War's annals." Hardy's comparisons collapse standards according to your third way of breaking ideals by flipping them on their head. Although society always has set standards, it's clear that such paradigms can be dissolved, inverted, or expanded.
While reaching higher than we can grasp can be healthy in self-growth, I’ve also recognized it as a discouragement. In my early adolescence, I wasn’t involved with social media, which shielded me from unrealistic beauty standards of celebrities. But as I immersed myself more, within social media, I found myself unhealthily comparing my life to influencers whose lives I’ve never even witnessed in person. It became important that I fit in with trends and followed what everyone else was doing. There’s a dangerous effect to one’s mental health when trying to reach unrealistic goals of influential people in society.
To expand on one of the final questions you pose, I feel that sharing one’s inner conflict can help to temper self-hate. I cannot personally relate to the specific issues outlined in Wilder’s film, but I did connect with the concerns Barbie outlines when characters such as Barbie and Gloria struggle with not fitting into the standard of womanly perfection. Barbie and Gloria experience a form of catharsis when they express their inner thoughts and struggles. Additionally, the other Barbies relate to them and are empowered through these women sharing their inner conflicts. Nowadays similar struggles of self-hate and comparison are often sparked by social media; but I can apply this to comparison in my own personal, academic setting. Especially being a part of such a small major, it becomes easy to compare my intelligence to my peers and look down on myself when I don’t match their standards. However, when I share my concerns with my friends and fellow classmates, I am reassured and often discover they feel the same way I do.
For an extended period of time, I attempted to align myself with a person who had entirely different ideals, goals and beliefs. Although I was overlooked by this person, I thought mimicry of their actions would help me be appreciated or seen by those around me. It took longer than it should have to realize that we do not need to perfectly “manicure” ourselves to be valued and respected. We do not have to become ghosts of ourselves in a faulty pursuit of perfection.
he concept of toxic exceptionalism deeply reverberates with me. I'm reminded of a conversation I had with an older family friend, and amidst this chat, we got into the topic of self-worth. I told him that I had questioned my achievement in school numerous times as I often believed that success that cannot be quantified is not success. Unfortunately, college instilled this twisted perception, with my mind equating my value to the values I saw on the Canvas grade page. In hindsight, my academic performance improved only when I abolished that virulent mentality.
It was suprising to see the Barbie movie being compared to our movie this week about a struggling alcoholic. However, after watching your intro video the connection is clear. Regardless of status, fear of societal judgment can take a toll on individuals’ confidence, it can even impact mental health. I believe it’s important for us to recognize that people are different and not everyone is going to fit into societies supposed ideal standard. It’s also important to recognize that throughout life people change, sometimes for the better sometimes not. However, accepting these changes and moving on is what is important.
Addiction and perfection both involve a reality outside of one's own. Addiction involves an escape from one’s world and perfection involves a fixation on a reality that does not exist. Relationships are impacted by addiction as well as an obsession with perfection because an individual is spending so much time trying to escape their reality that they tend to neglect what is inside of it. Films like Barbie and The Lost Weekend serve as a warning as to how these obsessions can take over in people's lives.
You discuss the quote “A mans reach should exceed his grasp” which touches on the notion of always allowing yourself to aim further than what you already know and have. However, disabilities can present formidable challenges that hinder individuals from fully realizing their goals and aspirations. These challenges extend beyond physical limitations and can encompass a wide range of impairments, including cognitive, sensory, mental health, and emotional disabilities. While society has made significant strides in recognizing and accommodating disabilities, barriers still persist, making it difficult for many to achieve their objectives.
Most people showcase the best version of themselves, that doesn’t accurately encompass them. There’s immense pressure to have the perfect self image, your ‘dream’ body and present this to individuals on social media. I think that it’s gravely important for everyone’s futures to shift our thinking towards how we’re unique. We see Barbie and Don attempt to fit into ideal molds that they create for themselves as they fall to the pressure of standards set/seen around them. It’s time we acknowledge what has led to our thinking about the intertwined nature, but also the differences of disability and illness.
Oftentimes people with chronic illnesses experience symptoms of their illness without showing any observable signs of it. Examples that most quickly come to mind are those who are diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety, or those who battle addiction. It’s important to treat everyone you meet with kindness, compassion, and an open mind because even if they appear to be perfectly happy and healthy, you never truly know what kind of challenges they may be facing.
With an intoxicating and blurry view of the world, I am an addict. In the warm embrace of obsession, I immerse myself in new environments and situations with unwavering devotion to them. Although, it is not alcohol that I fall servant to like Dawn does, I am a servant to work; I find bliss and contentment in drowning in new passions or hobbies. I often feel there is not a way to escape this love. It seems as if I am held captive bound by my own chains of longing for more with no freedom in sight.
The line between healthy and unhealthy standards we impose on others can often be thin. While the taboo of alcoholism seen in The Long Weekend leads some away from the dangerous overindulgence, it just as often leads people to believe that their alcoholism is a failure on their part to live up to the standards of society, spiraling into depression and further indulgence. Enforcing all standards we may see fit stigmatizes and writes off chronically ill as “afflicted” while rejecting all standards ignores those whose illness can be harmful to them. The right path is in between.
I’ve seen videos describing the “ideal woman” of every decade, highlighting the most desirable figure and style of each era. This is an element of the constant moving target described by Professor Marchbanks that is the standard of beauty, especially for women. This shifting ideal proves that our society is capable of altering its standard to include different looks and appearances, though they are often hardly variable. Hopefully, this ideal will grow to include the disabled people that it most often shuts out.
This video really got me thinking about how we all struggle with this idea of being "perfect." But what does "perfect" even mean? In reality, there is no such thing as perfect. Unfortunately, It's what we see and think and label it perfect. So what do we see? Social media, like Instagram, plays a big role in showing us what's considered beautiful or ideal in today's world. We follow what we believe are attractive influencers and desire to be like them. We might notice that many young women start to dress the same way, do their makeup in similar styles, and even change their appearance through cosmetic procedures (Ex. Lip fillers, Breast Implants, BBL, Brunette’s aspiring Blonde hair). Everyone starts to look alike and similar, and in the process, we lose what makes each of us special and unique in our features, style or preferences. One of the points made in the video was how social standards lead to depression because of the shame of not being perfect. With societal pressure of being “perfect” many people are changing who they are emotionally and physically. They still don't reach the level of their standards of “perfection” and become unhappy which leads to depression. A second point made was: Do we fail the universe by not transforming into someone else? We all have someone we admire and wish we could be more like, both in looks and personality. But if we really think about it, where did this desire to be someone else come from? When did we start looking at ourselves and thinking we're not good enough? Why can’t we just, “Admire someone else's beauty without questioning [our] own”
Society has been responsible for defining what “perfect” should be to any of its participating members. People constantly strive to make themselves equivalent to that definition. This can be compared to the idea of those with disabilities trying to “pass as healthy” for any number of reasons such as for their employers. I agree with the possible solution to enlarge the parameters of the definition of “perfect” or possibly the definition of “suitable” for work so that a larger margin of people are included; stopping people from endangering themselves to fit in.
I am a chronic perfectionist. Perfection aims to label something as good or bad, perfect or imperfect and the need to label things, including myself, stems from anxiety. However, life is not black and white. It falls on a spectrum which is difficult to define and label. The essay also discusses the struggle to label people either “disabled” or “chronically ill.” Society often defines categories for people which we align ourselves with based on our perception of our successes and perfection or lack thereof. I think we need to learn to accept when things cannot be clearly defined and labeled.
In the video, a question was asked about how certain ideals can be inspirational or oppressive. In the DSR essay, an example was given when it came to the participation of individuals with chronic illnesses in feminist movements. The narrative shows that those with chronic illnesses want to be active members of the feminist movement, however, with their illnesses they are not always able to contribute to their duty. They aspire to be part of something important, but with their chronic illnesses it is difficult without accommodations.
Chronic illnesses are often overlooked in society due to the lack of physical symptoms. However, people that experience chronic illnesses often involve similar experiences of limitations, stigma, and societal barriers as those that are disabled. In social media and society, people filter the tough parts of illness and disability and focus on the cure, or the recovery. However, I think it would be beneficial to show the whole journey to becoming better. I think that it would contribute to making societal and medical frameworks a more inclusive space for people with chronic illnesses to be more comfortable and improve their quality of life.
Every person to walk the Earth has had to face societal standards throughout their lives, however we all differ in how we handle these experiences. We don’t all share the same stories, and it is impossible to know what someone is going through at just a glance. For example, addiction is something that affects many but typically goes unnoticed as it is a sensitive topic for those who don’t want to be perceived negatively. Wendell discusses how frequent the terms disability and illness become blurred together as any imperfection is instantly seen as anything but normal.
People with chronic illnesses find themselves on the outskirts of the mainstream’s perception of disabilities, but experience equal hardship from their ailments. This raises the question of how well we can see people’s perspectives without walking in their shoes. Activists say they fight for the rights and empowerment of the disabled, but can they ever fight for every ailment? Sadly, many stories aren’t told because it takes experiencing hardship to understand how to help. It wasn’t until Barbie walked in a flat pair of shoes that she questioned her lifestyle.
Some of us deal with internal challenges that impact our perceptions of ourselves. While other challenges can be external, beauty standards rule people's lives. We are trying to compare and alter ourselves to the unrealistic. I constantly compare myself to “beauty influencers”. It has become a chronic illness to continue to scroll through images of women that do not look like me. I am trying to become someone that I am not. Consequently, this has made me depressed with internal struggles.
Often in society, people are labeled by what they show off to the world. Most people want to showcase the best version of themselves, and this is exemplified by social media such as Instagram in which people often post the “highlight reel” of their life. Comparing myself to others’ superficial version of themselves is something that I have struggled with, especially in high school. For someone who is healthy disabled, this can be a hard thing to overcome as they can be seen only for what they cannot do, instead of all that they can do.
It is important to recognize the parallels between the standards of what is considered healthy and able-bodied and beauty standards as both lead to stigmatization, discrimination, and marginalization of individuals who do not fit the perceived norm. Wendell addresses that the “healthy disabled” will encounter illness and changing disability later in life. Similarly, what is considered healthy or beautiful can change over time and in different societies, influenced by factors such as cultural values, media representation, and societal norms. Just as beauty standards dictate a certain appearance or physical attributes that are considered attractive, the standard of health establishes a norm for physical functionality and well-being.
In today's highly success-driven society, pressure to make an impact is ever-present, heavily weighing on the shoulders of many. The pursuit of flawlessness instilled in us has created an unattainable ideal that can make able-bodied individuals feel inadequate, most certainly leaving individuals with disabilities with a particularly challenging battle. Rather than focusing on perceived inadequacies, it's time for society so shift its perspective to celebrate the uniqueness and incredible resilience that individuals with disabilities possess, yet I recognize this is easier said than done.
The intent of humanity’s striving is to gain acceptance or affirmation. We observe others, gather data about their actions and qualities, and decide whether we will be rewarded for adopting them. I have personally experienced how this hypervigilant and calculating behavior leads only to anxiety and shame. Shifting our focus to refining some of our own innate qualities leads to both growth and greater satisfaction. Moreover, once we alter our perception of favorable and unfavorable, we begin to appreciate each others’ differences rather than striving to assume them ourselves and develop greater empathy for ourselves and others.
Disabilities are limitations that a human has from their body. This is not limited to just physical disabilities and must also include chronic illnesses and mental health diagnoses. I struggle with chronic illnesses myself, yet because they are not visible and not always everpresent, many of the people around me do not understand my need for accommodations. I do not identify with the term ‘disabled’. I often see my differences as a weakness, but it is just a limitation that my body has compared to the ablebodies around me. This has made me more aware and empathetic of the internal struggles of those around me.
I want to be the best player on the team. The one who makes the big play and wins us the game. Last year I would come home from tournaments (some of which Cal Poly won) and be upset with my performance. I would play through injuries and put myself down when I made mistakes. I was so committed to this goal that I stopped surfing and isolated myself. Focusing on an unattainable goal steals the happiness of progress; “comparison is the thief of joy.” I must be okay with taking time off to accommodate my physical and mental health. Perhaps more importantly, I re-evaluate my goals: I want to be better than yesterday.
The Barbie movie is unique in that it addresses “our addiction to perfection” but elects to portray this addiction through the lens of society’s expectations of feminine perfection. In the Barbieland sequences, Margot Robbie’s Barbie is supposed to represent the prescribed idea of perfection in women: thin, blonde, beautiful, and lacking in cellulite. It is meant to contrast with the reality of the human experience, especially that of being a woman. I especially agreed with the idea that perfection is a constantly moving target and failure to achieve it may result in illogical humiliation. This reminded me of Ellis in Chesnutt’s novel, his idea of perfection being Clara’s affection and humiliation being his sense of failure and misery when he doesn’t catch her attention.
Recently, I flew to Mexico with my childhood best friend who was diagnosed with Type I diabetes at a young age, and I noticed just how much chronic illness dictates every aspect of her day-to-day routine. Aside from medication, her illness affects everything from daily emotions to what kind of activities we do, what we eat and when we rest. When society ignores impairments of chronic illness, we fail to accommodate those whose illness may be unseen or constantly changing. However, failing to acknowledge these impairments can sometimes lead to discrimination or stigmatization from able-bodied individuals which further alienates people with disabilities.
In the same way we impose our own environment’s standards onto ourselves, our moral codes, and our actions, we see the cultural and social understanding of disability ultimately shaped by how we understand illness. As Barbie deems conflicting emotions and flat feet as the opposite side from her universe and Don with genuine connection to his peers and internal creativity as the opposite of his, a similar framework pervades our world’s binary foundation of non-disabled and disabled. In Barbie particularly, the intersection becomes complicated in understanding the social frameworks posed on women for falling outside of binary “norms”; similar to the considerations disabled women face in activism.
As discussed in this video, our society has become obsessed with perfection. We compare ourselves to it, our family to it, even our friends and enemies to it. Society does this because perfection is based on tradition, acting as a benchmark that changes very slowly. Those whose lives are atypical suffer from this arbitrary comparison. For example, many individuals with chronic illnesses have no external symptoms, and are therefore placed on a balancing scale with conventional perfection despite their unconventional lives. Desperate to appease, many chronically ill individuals adopt this unfair doctrine of perfection leading to lowered self-esteem.
I have recently developed a chronic illness relating to my stomach and diet. While this illness is manageable in my kitchen, eating out at restaurants makes it significantly more difficult for me to have a pleasant experience. Dietary restrictions are socially polarizing, getting weird looks when you can't eat what they are so comfortable to consume. My illness creates a dynamic where on my terms, I am healthy and can predict my reactions. Yet to the outside world, I am burdened by my differences since I do not meet their expectations.
The apparent ineptitude that both Barbie and Don feel in their respective movies symbolizes the struggle that people endure for success. Barbie who has know nothing but perfection and has trouble coping with distress, and Don's ceaseless perservance for victory while being dragged down with alcoholism; these are the differing battles that is only worsened by comparison of each other, as Barbie experiences for the first time when being labeled a fascist and Don feeling alone in his agony. For both, however, understanding that you are not alone and that a disability/struggle does not mean incapacitation opens the door to healing and personal growth.
The promotion of perfectionism has for too long caused problems, whether it be children who are unhappy with their bodies or someone who doesn’t want to get help with a possible mental condition for fear of straying from the normal perfection of everyday life. Within the disability community, those who are concealing the effects of their condition are having this same negative effect on others in the community by devaluing their own pain. Going against the “norm” can be a daunting task as a lone person but when a group is leading that battle together it becomes more feasible.
There are as many human beings as there are grains of sand, and every person is different. Because we are relative creatures our instinct is to compare ourselves to others. If we think in absolutes we lose an appreciation for our own unique personality as a whole. There will always be someone better than us in every individual aspect. Our society is built on individualism, yet due to the innumerable stigmas that exist it is almost impossible to learn to be content with oneself.
I have been chronically ill for 10 years. For the first several years, my inability to meet society’s standards left me depressed and suicidal, like Don. I eventually came to accept my illness as chronic and incurable, and I realized that my body was not the problem-society’s standards were. I found pride in my disability, even as I continue to seek medical treatments to reduce the amount of pain I am in. However, my family refuses to accept my illness. They think I am not doing enough to cure myself-even when medicine has not discovered a cure for my disease.
In today's world, it's common for people to wear masks that display their brightest sides. Social platforms, like Instagram, often showcase mere highlights, just like a polished gemstone revealing its shiniest facets. I've personally grappled with comparing myself to these façades, particularly during my high school days. For those living with hidden disabilities, it's an uphill battle as society sometimes only sees our limitations, not our vast capabilities. Only recently has vulnerability been celebrated in place of perfection.
Addiction can be considered a form of impairment due to how substances can damage the body. Chronic illnesses can result from substance abuse, which often attracts the stigma of being a hopeless drunk that’s too far gone to save. Whether it is placed on an addict by others or by the addict itself, this stigma is toxic and perpetuates the idea that addiction is unsolvable. However, practicing sobriety can cast away the grip substances have over you. Even if an ex-addict has chronic effects, stigmas can be purged through self-actualization and accepting lingering impairments as part of one’s life.
Appearance and clothing, an unavoidable area of social judgment. Based on my social media, I wonder if fashion trends may have less impact than in the last few years. My friends and I would often adapt our closets based on temporary trends. Now, influencers are increasingly niche and encouraging of personal style. An unexpected mix of responses to existing social standards, expanding the breadth of celebrated styles and flipping standards. Our clothes may be attempts at connections with our peers. Both “successes” and “failures” make up a more complete idea of the individual.
To alter or expand the ideal world would mean to lose more of what makes living unique. Wendell mentions suffering creates valuable ways of being, so to what extent do we perfect society? Certainly, we all should be treated equally, but there’s a conversation to be had about social persecution empowering the disabled. An alcoholic doesn’t like to be viewed as an alcoholic, but internal conflict inflicted by self-idealism and external conflict perpetuated by society can act as motivators to get better or lessons for others with a similar chronic illness or without.
In a world dominated by unrealistic beauty standards and the perpetuating need for success, it seems more common to be dissatisfied with oneself than content. I struggle to find a balance between leisure and work due to the urge to be productive and worthy in the eyes of society. Universal shame resides in an attempt to hide needs for relaxation and forces people to ignore the body’s want for rest. For me, this extra push in performance can create mild discomfort. For those with chronic illness, this extra push can be detrimental.
The line between true mental illness and the struggle to deal with emotions is hard to draw due to the unique ways individuals cope. Diagnosing mental illness based on mental symptom assessment is difficult, which leads medical professionals to use physical symptom assessment as well. However, these physical diagnostics may not be directly correlated to mental illness. Therefore, the idea that one is healthy because their mental state is secure does not mean that they do not seek help for their mental state in unprofessional or professional settings.
Unhealthy standards can cause great damage, but unhealthy contentment may cause even more. Barbie’s impossible standard warps girls’ perceptions and plagues them with insecurity, but Don’s false security in his alcoholism proves just as detrimental. This dilemma between improvement and contentment leaves but one solution: to be content with improving. Continually striving to improve while finding security in doing one’s best provides the simple answer echoed by one of my favorite lines from Barbie: “You have to try. Even if you can’t make it perfect, you can make it better.”
The ideals that are thrust on to us are impossible to replicate for a majority of people. The ideals we are given are difficult to emulate because of imperfections that people have little to no control over such as poverty, lack of time, or disability. However, when a disabled person is accommodated in the workplace they are able to have the opportunity to live a satisfying life regardless of the ideal. Therefore if we accommodate for imperfections in the same way that disability should be accommodated for in the workplace, then we will make it easier to live a worthwhile life regardless if we reach the unattainable ideal or not.
Due to the increased and normalized social media intake my generation faces, I understand the effects of exceptionally high standards. The Barbie movie does a great job addressing some standards but doesn’t provide practical wisdom for dealing with our imperfections. Rather, I think it asks women to work harder in the face of the adversary which is flawed. As an aspiring author, I resonated with the statement that every book must be worth our time if only we widened our standards. To me, this is true, since I haven't written a book, anything already written is something to aspire to.
We live in a society fueled by perpetuated standards. This unrealistic approach to life that many follow encourages unhealthy perfectionism, ultimately taking away the true authenticity of life. I am, too, plagued by this. Similar to Barbie, as mentioned in your video, I feel an unknown anxiety when I don’t meet “the standards” of beauty or accomplishments on social media. HD’s “Loss” encapsulates this need to escape my own “torture” of life. The dichotomy of Barbie and The Lost Weekend in their color schemes represents the multifaceted loneliness in the strive for perfection: Barbie’s color represents the deceitful facade of pretending and blind following, whereas Wilder’s “lack of vibrancy” shows the crumbling from the inside out. There is no healthy approach to perfectionism.
Much like in The Marrow of Tradition, physiognomy plays a vital role in everyday life and is even reflected in the popular media of today. The “Stereotypical Barbie” presented in Barbie begins the movie as the quintessential idea of appearances determining one’s character. While it can be really hard to not judge someone based off their appearance, Barbie completely negates this notion when she calls the older lady “beautiful” after seeing an older woman for the first time. Barbie practically has a child-like mind upon entering the Real World, making her incredibly impressionable and simultaneously truly authentic. Perhaps we aren’t born with a simplified idea of beauty, and it is taught to us later in life.
Nature versus nurture does not end when we begin thinking for ourselves- and there is a physical aspect that comes into play. Our genetics determine our body types, the shape of our noses, and the color of our hair. Society that surrounds us determines what of that is deemed trendy. Without a world telling her otherwise, Barbie sees the old woman as beautiful. When our society sinks its teeth into her, Barbie no longer feels beautiful. If no one ever deemed disabilities different, would the people that are afflicted with them still feel othered? Standards aren’t really a sign of something being standard- they’re unrealistic expectations set by insecure people in a world where everyone is just trying their best.
Minorities feel a need to compensate to challenge the discrimination they face. Disabled people feel pressured to pass as healthy to resist the medical model of disability. Women in STEM feel a need to overachieve to gain respect from their male colleagues; I see this every day in my engineering classes. It doesn’t feel acceptable to simply exist and be average, especially when you feel like you have something to prove. The idea of being average, or stereotypical, is so unsettling. In response, people chase the unattainable, forever changing ideal of perfectionism.
The ephemeral ideal body has long infuriated me. If not waif-like, it’s voluptuous. If not pale, it’s racially ambiguous. Rapidly changing body trends are unreproducible except through filters. I agree, expanding the ideal would allow for the embrace of everyone. Social media’s expanse has broadened beauty by allowing more people to contribute to its definition; however, it fosters a culture of filters and editing. Beauty is more diverse than ever, but each standard of beauty is unattainable in its own way. Instead of expanding the ideal, social media seems to disperse it.
There is so much pressure to measure up to societal standards and what is “normal”, but who sets these standards? It is clear that Don is experiencing this pressure. Don is a smart guy, who is young and appears healthy. But in reality, he is struggling with alcoholism, a chronic illness with debilitating impairments. Don tries to conceal his impairments in order to withstand judgment and rejection from others. Don would benefit from understanding and acceptance. But will society accommodate or resist his need for added support? It seems politically correct for society to accommodate those with differences. But commonly those individuals who are unable to “keep up” with societal standards are unfairly deemed unsuitable.
The idea of being healthily disabled is one I have had to struggle with since I was 17. During the pandemic I was in constant pain and many doctors could not diagnose me with anything. When I had days of no pain suddenly I was "cured" but then I would be in pain and the cycle continued, the constant battle of having a chronic illness but also being healthy. People struggle beneath the surface, everyone is valid whether or not they are 'healthy' we should just show our support.
The videos exploration of societal ideals and individual struggles really resonates with me. It highlights the tension between personal aspirations and external expectations. It makes me reflect on how these standards can both motivate us to achieve greatness and also lead to feelings of inadequacy. Recognizing that everyone encounters hurdles encourages a shift from judgment to fostering a supportive environment. This shift can lead to a more compassionate and understanding culture, where empathy takes precedence over criticism.
The question you quoted from Robert Browning intrigued me because it made me realize Barbie's seemingly perfect life was static without any goal/challenge. However, when her heels hit the floor, she faces a new fear of being ridiculed by her peers. This idea of conforming to standards and desire to break them appears in Thomas Hardy's "In Time of the Breaking of Nations," where he situates a "man harrowing clods" as equal to "Dynasties," and a "maid and her wight" equal to "War's annals." Hardy's comparisons collapse standards according to your third way of breaking ideals by flipping them on their head. Although society always has set standards, it's clear that such paradigms can be dissolved, inverted, or expanded.
While reaching higher than we can grasp can be healthy in self-growth, I’ve also recognized it as a discouragement. In my early adolescence, I wasn’t involved with social media, which shielded me from unrealistic beauty standards of celebrities. But as I immersed myself more, within social media, I found myself unhealthily comparing my life to influencers whose lives I’ve never even witnessed in person. It became important that I fit in with trends and followed what everyone else was doing. There’s a dangerous effect to one’s mental health when trying to reach unrealistic goals of influential people in society.
To expand on one of the final questions you pose, I feel that sharing one’s inner conflict can help to temper self-hate. I cannot personally relate to the specific issues outlined in Wilder’s film, but I did connect with the concerns Barbie outlines when characters such as Barbie and Gloria struggle with not fitting into the standard of womanly perfection. Barbie and Gloria experience a form of catharsis when they express their inner thoughts and struggles. Additionally, the other Barbies relate to them and are empowered through these women sharing their inner conflicts. Nowadays similar struggles of self-hate and comparison are often sparked by social media; but I can apply this to comparison in my own personal, academic setting. Especially being a part of such a small major, it becomes easy to compare my intelligence to my peers and look down on myself when I don’t match their standards. However, when I share my concerns with my friends and fellow classmates, I am reassured and often discover they feel the same way I do.
For an extended period of time, I attempted to align myself with a person who had entirely different ideals, goals and beliefs. Although I was overlooked by this person, I thought mimicry of their actions would help me be appreciated or seen by those around me. It took longer than it should have to realize that we do not need to perfectly “manicure” ourselves to be valued and respected. We do not have to become ghosts of ourselves in a faulty pursuit of perfection.
he concept of toxic exceptionalism deeply reverberates with me. I'm reminded of a conversation I had with an older family friend, and amidst this chat, we got into the topic of self-worth. I told him that I had questioned my achievement in school numerous times as I often believed that success that cannot be quantified is not success. Unfortunately, college instilled this twisted perception, with my mind equating my value to the values I saw on the Canvas grade page. In hindsight, my academic performance improved only when I abolished that virulent mentality.
It was suprising to see the Barbie movie being compared to our movie this week about a struggling alcoholic. However, after watching your intro video the connection is clear. Regardless of status, fear of societal judgment can take a toll on individuals’ confidence, it can even impact mental health. I believe it’s important for us to recognize that people are different and not everyone is going to fit into societies supposed ideal standard. It’s also important to recognize that throughout life people change, sometimes for the better sometimes not. However, accepting these changes and moving on is what is important.
Addiction and perfection both involve a reality outside of one's own. Addiction involves an escape from one’s world and perfection involves a fixation on a reality that does not exist. Relationships are impacted by addiction as well as an obsession with perfection because an individual is spending so much time trying to escape their reality that they tend to neglect what is inside of it. Films like Barbie and The Lost Weekend serve as a warning as to how these obsessions can take over in people's lives.
You discuss the quote “A mans reach should exceed his grasp” which touches on the notion of always allowing yourself to aim further than what you already know and have. However, disabilities can present formidable challenges that hinder individuals from fully realizing their goals and aspirations. These challenges extend beyond physical limitations and can encompass a wide range of impairments, including cognitive, sensory, mental health, and emotional disabilities. While society has made significant strides in recognizing and accommodating disabilities, barriers still persist, making it difficult for many to achieve their objectives.
Most people showcase the best version of themselves, that doesn’t accurately encompass them. There’s immense pressure to have the perfect self image, your ‘dream’ body and present this to individuals on social media. I think that it’s gravely important for everyone’s futures to shift our thinking towards how we’re unique. We see Barbie and Don attempt to fit into ideal molds that they create for themselves as they fall to the pressure of standards set/seen around them. It’s time we acknowledge what has led to our thinking about the intertwined nature, but also the differences of disability and illness.
Oftentimes people with chronic illnesses experience symptoms of their illness without showing any observable signs of it. Examples that most quickly come to mind are those who are diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety, or those who battle addiction. It’s important to treat everyone you meet with kindness, compassion, and an open mind because even if they appear to be perfectly happy and healthy, you never truly know what kind of challenges they may be facing.
With an intoxicating and blurry view of the world, I am an addict. In the warm embrace of obsession, I immerse myself in new environments and situations with unwavering devotion to them. Although, it is not alcohol that I fall servant to like Dawn does, I am a servant to work; I find bliss and contentment in drowning in new passions or hobbies. I often feel there is not a way to escape this love. It seems as if I am held captive bound by my own chains of longing for more with no freedom in sight.
The line between healthy and unhealthy standards we impose on others can often be thin. While the taboo of alcoholism seen in The Long Weekend leads some away from the dangerous overindulgence, it just as often leads people to believe that their alcoholism is a failure on their part to live up to the standards of society, spiraling into depression and further indulgence. Enforcing all standards we may see fit stigmatizes and writes off chronically ill as “afflicted” while rejecting all standards ignores those whose illness can be harmful to them. The right path is in between.
I’ve seen videos describing the “ideal woman” of every decade, highlighting the most desirable figure and style of each era. This is an element of the constant moving target described by Professor Marchbanks that is the standard of beauty, especially for women. This shifting ideal proves that our society is capable of altering its standard to include different looks and appearances, though they are often hardly variable. Hopefully, this ideal will grow to include the disabled people that it most often shuts out.
This video really got me thinking about how we all struggle with this idea of being "perfect." But what does "perfect" even mean? In reality, there is no such thing as perfect. Unfortunately, It's what we see and think and label it perfect. So what do we see? Social media, like Instagram, plays a big role in showing us what's considered beautiful or ideal in today's world. We follow what we believe are attractive influencers and desire to be like them. We might notice that many young women start to dress the same way, do their makeup in similar styles, and even change their appearance through cosmetic procedures (Ex. Lip fillers, Breast Implants, BBL, Brunette’s aspiring Blonde hair). Everyone starts to look alike and similar, and in the process, we lose what makes each of us special and unique in our features, style or preferences. One of the points made in the video was how social standards lead to depression because of the shame of not being perfect. With societal pressure of being “perfect” many people are changing who they are emotionally and physically. They still don't reach the level of their standards of “perfection” and become unhappy which leads to depression. A second point made was: Do we fail the universe by not transforming into someone else? We all have someone we admire and wish we could be more like, both in looks and personality. But if we really think about it, where did this desire to be someone else come from? When did we start looking at ourselves and thinking we're not good enough? Why can’t we just, “Admire someone else's beauty without questioning [our] own”
Society has been responsible for defining what “perfect” should be to any of its participating members. People constantly strive to make themselves equivalent to that definition. This can be compared to the idea of those with disabilities trying to “pass as healthy” for any number of reasons such as for their employers. I agree with the possible solution to enlarge the parameters of the definition of “perfect” or possibly the definition of “suitable” for work so that a larger margin of people are included; stopping people from endangering themselves to fit in.
I am a chronic perfectionist. Perfection aims to label something as good or bad, perfect or imperfect and the need to label things, including myself, stems from anxiety. However, life is not black and white. It falls on a spectrum which is difficult to define and label. The essay also discusses the struggle to label people either “disabled” or “chronically ill.” Society often defines categories for people which we align ourselves with based on our perception of our successes and perfection or lack thereof. I think we need to learn to accept when things cannot be clearly defined and labeled.
In the video, a question was asked about how certain ideals can be inspirational or oppressive. In the DSR essay, an example was given when it came to the participation of individuals with chronic illnesses in feminist movements. The narrative shows that those with chronic illnesses want to be active members of the feminist movement, however, with their illnesses they are not always able to contribute to their duty. They aspire to be part of something important, but with their chronic illnesses it is difficult without accommodations.
Chronic illnesses are often overlooked in society due to the lack of physical symptoms. However, people that experience chronic illnesses often involve similar experiences of limitations, stigma, and societal barriers as those that are disabled. In social media and society, people filter the tough parts of illness and disability and focus on the cure, or the recovery. However, I think it would be beneficial to show the whole journey to becoming better. I think that it would contribute to making societal and medical frameworks a more inclusive space for people with chronic illnesses to be more comfortable and improve their quality of life.
Every person to walk the Earth has had to face societal standards throughout their lives, however we all differ in how we handle these experiences. We don’t all share the same stories, and it is impossible to know what someone is going through at just a glance. For example, addiction is something that affects many but typically goes unnoticed as it is a sensitive topic for those who don’t want to be perceived negatively. Wendell discusses how frequent the terms disability and illness become blurred together as any imperfection is instantly seen as anything but normal.
People with chronic illnesses find themselves on the outskirts of the mainstream’s perception of disabilities, but experience equal hardship from their ailments. This raises the question of how well we can see people’s perspectives without walking in their shoes. Activists say they fight for the rights and empowerment of the disabled, but can they ever fight for every ailment? Sadly, many stories aren’t told because it takes experiencing hardship to understand how to help. It wasn’t until Barbie walked in a flat pair of shoes that she questioned her lifestyle.
Some of us deal with internal challenges that impact our perceptions of ourselves. While other challenges can be external, beauty standards rule people's lives. We are trying to compare and alter ourselves to the unrealistic. I constantly compare myself to “beauty influencers”. It has become a chronic illness to continue to scroll through images of women that do not look like me. I am trying to become someone that I am not. Consequently, this has made me depressed with internal struggles.
Often in society, people are labeled by what they show off to the world. Most people want to showcase the best version of themselves, and this is exemplified by social media such as Instagram in which people often post the “highlight reel” of their life. Comparing myself to others’ superficial version of themselves is something that I have struggled with, especially in high school. For someone who is healthy disabled, this can be a hard thing to overcome as they can be seen only for what they cannot do, instead of all that they can do.
It is important to recognize the parallels between the standards of what is considered healthy and able-bodied and beauty standards as both lead to stigmatization, discrimination, and marginalization of individuals who do not fit the perceived norm. Wendell addresses that the “healthy disabled” will encounter illness and changing disability later in life. Similarly, what is considered healthy or beautiful can change over time and in different societies, influenced by factors such as cultural values, media representation, and societal norms. Just as beauty standards dictate a certain appearance or physical attributes that are considered attractive, the standard of health establishes a norm for physical functionality and well-being.
In today's highly success-driven society, pressure to make an impact is ever-present, heavily weighing on the shoulders of many. The pursuit of flawlessness instilled in us has created an unattainable ideal that can make able-bodied individuals feel inadequate, most certainly leaving individuals with disabilities with a particularly challenging battle. Rather than focusing on perceived inadequacies, it's time for society so shift its perspective to celebrate the uniqueness and incredible resilience that individuals with disabilities possess, yet I recognize this is easier said than done.
The intent of humanity’s striving is to gain acceptance or affirmation. We observe others, gather data about their actions and qualities, and decide whether we will be rewarded for adopting them. I have personally experienced how this hypervigilant and calculating behavior leads only to anxiety and shame. Shifting our focus to refining some of our own innate qualities leads to both growth and greater satisfaction. Moreover, once we alter our perception of favorable and unfavorable, we begin to appreciate each others’ differences rather than striving to assume them ourselves and develop greater empathy for ourselves and others.
Disabilities are limitations that a human has from their body. This is not limited to just physical disabilities and must also include chronic illnesses and mental health diagnoses. I struggle with chronic illnesses myself, yet because they are not visible and not always everpresent, many of the people around me do not understand my need for accommodations. I do not identify with the term ‘disabled’. I often see my differences as a weakness, but it is just a limitation that my body has compared to the ablebodies around me. This has made me more aware and empathetic of the internal struggles of those around me.
I want to be the best player on the team. The one who makes the big play and wins us the game. Last year I would come home from tournaments (some of which Cal Poly won) and be upset with my performance. I would play through injuries and put myself down when I made mistakes. I was so committed to this goal that I stopped surfing and isolated myself.
Focusing on an unattainable goal steals the happiness of progress; “comparison is the thief of joy.” I must be okay with taking time off to accommodate my physical and mental health. Perhaps more importantly, I re-evaluate my goals: I want to be better than yesterday.
The Barbie movie is unique in that it addresses “our addiction to perfection” but elects to portray this addiction through the lens of society’s expectations of feminine perfection. In the Barbieland sequences, Margot Robbie’s Barbie is supposed to represent the prescribed idea of perfection in women: thin, blonde, beautiful, and lacking in cellulite. It is meant to contrast with the reality of the human experience, especially that of being a woman. I especially agreed with the idea that perfection is a constantly moving target and failure to achieve it may result in illogical humiliation. This reminded me of Ellis in Chesnutt’s novel, his idea of perfection being Clara’s affection and humiliation being his sense of failure and misery when he doesn’t catch her attention.
Recently, I flew to Mexico with my childhood best friend who was diagnosed with Type I diabetes at a young age, and I noticed just how much chronic illness dictates every aspect of her day-to-day routine. Aside from medication, her illness affects everything from daily emotions to what kind of activities we do, what we eat and when we rest. When society ignores impairments of chronic illness, we fail to accommodate those whose illness may be unseen or constantly changing. However, failing to acknowledge these impairments can sometimes lead to discrimination or stigmatization from able-bodied individuals which further alienates people with disabilities.
In the same way we impose our own environment’s standards onto ourselves, our moral codes, and our actions, we see the cultural and social understanding of disability ultimately shaped by how we understand illness. As Barbie deems conflicting emotions and flat feet as the opposite side from her universe and Don with genuine connection to his peers and internal creativity as the opposite of his, a similar framework pervades our world’s binary foundation of non-disabled and disabled. In Barbie particularly, the intersection becomes complicated in understanding the social frameworks posed on women for falling outside of binary “norms”; similar to the considerations disabled women face in activism.
As discussed in this video, our society has become obsessed with perfection. We compare ourselves to it, our family to it, even our friends and enemies to it. Society does this because perfection is based on tradition, acting as a benchmark that changes very slowly. Those whose lives are atypical suffer from this arbitrary comparison. For example, many individuals with chronic illnesses have no external symptoms, and are therefore placed on a balancing scale with conventional perfection despite their unconventional lives. Desperate to appease, many chronically ill individuals adopt this unfair doctrine of perfection leading to lowered self-esteem.
I have recently developed a chronic illness relating to my stomach and diet. While this illness is manageable in my kitchen, eating out at restaurants makes it significantly more difficult for me to have a pleasant experience. Dietary restrictions are socially polarizing, getting weird looks when you can't eat what they are so comfortable to consume. My illness creates a dynamic where on my terms, I am healthy and can predict my reactions. Yet to the outside world, I am burdened by my differences since I do not meet their expectations.
Thanks for your willingness to share this situation in such transparent fashion, Soren.
The apparent ineptitude that both Barbie and Don feel in their respective movies symbolizes the struggle that people endure for success. Barbie who has know nothing but perfection and has trouble coping with distress, and Don's ceaseless perservance for victory while being dragged down with alcoholism; these are the differing battles that is only worsened by comparison of each other, as Barbie experiences for the first time when being labeled a fascist and Don feeling alone in his agony. For both, however, understanding that you are not alone and that a disability/struggle does not mean incapacitation opens the door to healing and personal growth.
The promotion of perfectionism has for too long caused problems, whether it be children who are unhappy with their bodies or someone who doesn’t want to get help with a possible mental condition for fear of straying from the normal perfection of everyday life. Within the disability community, those who are concealing the effects of their condition are having this same negative effect on others in the community by devaluing their own pain. Going against the “norm” can be a daunting task as a lone person but when a group is leading that battle together it becomes more feasible.
There are as many human beings as there are grains of sand, and every person is different. Because we are relative creatures our instinct is to compare ourselves to others. If we think in absolutes we lose an appreciation for our own unique personality as a whole. There will always be someone better than us in every individual aspect. Our society is built on individualism, yet due to the innumerable stigmas that exist it is almost impossible to learn to be content with oneself.
I have been chronically ill for 10 years. For the first several years, my inability to meet society’s standards left me depressed and suicidal, like Don. I eventually came to accept my illness as chronic and incurable, and I realized that my body was not the problem-society’s standards were. I found pride in my disability, even as I continue to seek medical treatments to reduce the amount of pain I am in. However, my family refuses to accept my illness. They think I am not doing enough to cure myself-even when medicine has not discovered a cure for my disease.
Wow, Sydney. I'm so sorry to hear that familial support has proven uneven. Hang in there.
In today's world, it's common for people to wear masks that display their brightest sides. Social platforms, like Instagram, often showcase mere highlights, just like a polished gemstone revealing its shiniest facets. I've personally grappled with comparing myself to these façades, particularly during my high school days. For those living with hidden disabilities, it's an uphill battle as society sometimes only sees our limitations, not our vast capabilities. Only recently has vulnerability been celebrated in place of perfection.
Addiction can be considered a form of impairment due to how substances can damage the body. Chronic illnesses can result from substance abuse, which often attracts the stigma of being a hopeless drunk that’s too far gone to save. Whether it is placed on an addict by others or by the addict itself, this stigma is toxic and perpetuates the idea that addiction is unsolvable. However, practicing sobriety can cast away the grip substances have over you. Even if an ex-addict has chronic effects, stigmas can be purged through self-actualization and accepting lingering impairments as part of one’s life.
Appearance and clothing, an unavoidable area of social judgment. Based on my social media, I wonder if fashion trends may have less impact than in the last few years. My friends and I would often adapt our closets based on temporary trends. Now, influencers are increasingly niche and encouraging of personal style. An unexpected mix of responses to existing social standards, expanding the breadth of celebrated styles and flipping standards. Our clothes may be attempts at connections with our peers. Both “successes” and “failures” make up a more complete idea of the individual.
To alter or expand the ideal world would mean to lose more of what makes living unique. Wendell mentions suffering creates valuable ways of being, so to what extent do we perfect society? Certainly, we all should be treated equally, but there’s a conversation to be had about social persecution empowering the disabled. An alcoholic doesn’t like to be viewed as an alcoholic, but internal conflict inflicted by self-idealism and external conflict perpetuated by society can act as motivators to get better or lessons for others with a similar chronic illness or without.
In a world dominated by unrealistic beauty standards and the perpetuating need for success, it seems more common to be dissatisfied with oneself than content. I struggle to find a balance between leisure and work due to the urge to be productive and worthy in the eyes of society. Universal shame resides in an attempt to hide needs for relaxation and forces people to ignore the body’s want for rest. For me, this extra push in performance can create mild discomfort. For those with chronic illness, this extra push can be detrimental.
The line between true mental illness and the struggle to deal with emotions is hard to draw due to the unique ways individuals cope. Diagnosing mental illness based on mental symptom assessment is difficult, which leads medical professionals to use physical symptom assessment as well. However, these physical diagnostics may not be directly correlated to mental illness. Therefore, the idea that one is healthy because their mental state is secure does not mean that they do not seek help for their mental state in unprofessional or professional settings.
Unhealthy standards can cause great damage, but unhealthy contentment may cause even more. Barbie’s impossible standard warps girls’ perceptions and plagues them with insecurity, but Don’s false security in his alcoholism proves just as detrimental. This dilemma between improvement and contentment leaves but one solution: to be content with improving. Continually striving to improve while finding security in doing one’s best provides the simple answer echoed by one of my favorite lines from Barbie: “You have to try. Even if you can’t make it perfect, you can make it better.”
The ideals that are thrust on to us are impossible to replicate for a majority of people. The ideals we are given are difficult to emulate because of imperfections that people have little to no control over such as poverty, lack of time, or disability. However, when a disabled person is accommodated in the workplace they are able to have the opportunity to live a satisfying life regardless of the ideal. Therefore if we accommodate for imperfections in the same way that disability should be accommodated for in the workplace, then we will make it easier to live a worthwhile life regardless if we reach the unattainable ideal or not.
Due to the increased and normalized social media intake my generation faces, I understand the effects of exceptionally high standards. The Barbie movie does a great job addressing some standards but doesn’t provide practical wisdom for dealing with our imperfections. Rather, I think it asks women to work harder in the face of the adversary which is flawed. As an aspiring author, I resonated with the statement that every book must be worth our time if only we widened our standards. To me, this is true, since I haven't written a book, anything already written is something to aspire to.
We live in a society fueled by perpetuated standards. This unrealistic approach to life that many follow encourages unhealthy perfectionism, ultimately taking away the true authenticity of life. I am, too, plagued by this. Similar to Barbie, as mentioned in your video, I feel an unknown anxiety when I don’t meet “the standards” of beauty or accomplishments on social media. HD’s “Loss” encapsulates this need to escape my own “torture” of life. The dichotomy of Barbie and The Lost Weekend in their color schemes represents the multifaceted loneliness in the strive for perfection: Barbie’s color represents the deceitful facade of pretending and blind following, whereas Wilder’s “lack of vibrancy” shows the crumbling from the inside out. There is no healthy approach to perfectionism.
Much like in The Marrow of Tradition, physiognomy plays a vital role in everyday life and is even reflected in the popular media of today. The “Stereotypical Barbie” presented in Barbie begins the movie as the quintessential idea of appearances determining one’s character. While it can be really hard to not judge someone based off their appearance, Barbie completely negates this notion when she calls the older lady “beautiful” after seeing an older woman for the first time. Barbie practically has a child-like mind upon entering the Real World, making her incredibly impressionable and simultaneously truly authentic. Perhaps we aren’t born with a simplified idea of beauty, and it is taught to us later in life.
Nature versus nurture does not end when we begin thinking for ourselves- and there is a physical aspect that comes into play. Our genetics determine our body types, the shape of our noses, and the color of our hair. Society that surrounds us determines what of that is deemed trendy. Without a world telling her otherwise, Barbie sees the old woman as beautiful. When our society sinks its teeth into her, Barbie no longer feels beautiful. If no one ever deemed disabilities different, would the people that are afflicted with them still feel othered? Standards aren’t really a sign of something being standard- they’re unrealistic expectations set by insecure people in a world where everyone is just trying their best.
Your last claim ably alludes to the rise of statistics in the Victorian period . . .
Minorities feel a need to compensate to challenge the discrimination they face. Disabled people feel pressured to pass as healthy to resist the medical model of disability. Women in STEM feel a need to overachieve to gain respect from their male colleagues; I see this every day in my engineering classes. It doesn’t feel acceptable to simply exist and be average, especially when you feel like you have something to prove. The idea of being average, or stereotypical, is so unsettling. In response, people chase the unattainable, forever changing ideal of perfectionism.
The ephemeral ideal body has long infuriated me. If not waif-like, it’s voluptuous. If not pale, it’s racially ambiguous. Rapidly changing body trends are unreproducible except through filters. I agree, expanding the ideal would allow for the embrace of everyone. Social media’s expanse has broadened beauty by allowing more people to contribute to its definition; however, it fosters a culture of filters and editing. Beauty is more diverse than ever, but each standard of beauty is unattainable in its own way. Instead of expanding the ideal, social media seems to disperse it.
There is so much pressure to measure up to societal standards and what is “normal”, but who sets these standards? It is clear that Don is experiencing this pressure. Don is a smart guy, who is young and appears healthy. But in reality, he is struggling with alcoholism, a chronic illness with debilitating impairments. Don tries to conceal his impairments in order to withstand judgment and rejection from others. Don would benefit from understanding and acceptance. But will society accommodate or resist his need for added support? It seems politically correct for society to accommodate those with differences. But commonly those individuals who are unable to “keep up” with societal standards are unfairly deemed unsuitable.