An Alternative to Painful Divorce, How to Consciously Uncouple | Vishen Lakhiani
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- How do you end a relationship on good terms? It is undoubtedly a question that has plagued the minds of many. The end of a romantic relationship however doesn't necessarily mean pain and suffering ensues, with human consciousness evolving so is the way we deal with life's challenges.
In this talk from Mindvalley Reunion 2019, Vishen Lakhiani discusses the alternative couples have when they decide together that the relationship has come to an end.
After 19 years together Vishen and his wife decided to consciously uncouple and divorce. They also chose to redefine divorce. Divorce, a word that creates so much negative emotion in so many. Rather than a usual divorce they went through the Conscious Uncoupling process, the method popularised in Katherine Woodward Thomas’ book of the same name. In this video, Vishen lays himself raw and open like never before to talk about facing this moment in his life.
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What was the biggest lesson you learned after a break up with someone? Share your thoughts, we'd love to hear them 😃
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Pillar of love came down but he said he loved her dearly, LOL.
My ex husband and I live 4 houses away from each other. We love and care for each other and always will. As we told our children when we split, "we just don't love each other exactly the way a husband and wife are supposed to love each other." We co-parent beautifully. We are, and always will be, family to each other. We will always have each other's backs. I am friends with his partner, and he is friends with mine. We all do holidays and family celebrations together. This seems "weird" to so many other people I meet. My kids are happy, healthy, and well-adjusted. I don't buy into the BRULES. My children are better off for our marriage ending. We are still a family. Nothing can change that. I admire your honesty, vulnerability, and commitment to living authentically.
Natalie Kita Exactly ❤
Thank you very much for sharing your experience. 🌹
Sound amazing, good for you guys 💕
The biggest lesson I learned after my divorce was that we were only supposed to be friends. A lot of times we imprint with people b/c of our pain and trauma and call it Love. We supported one another through many difficult times and understood one another. But that too, is friendship. Conditioning made us believe it had to be more. Now I know better and I love better.
Thanks a lot for your sharing. Your thinking was appreciated. Thanks.
I have felt the same with my marriage!!!
Thanks for sharing
So what is "more" in those real romantic love relationships you have now? I feel like what is being left out of the conversation is sexual attraction. My suspicion is that it comes down to this, sex with the same person is no longer interesting/they want to sleep with others... so let's just be friends/partners.
There isn’t such a thing as “forever”, we cross paths for a reason, and when we have learned the lesson we move on. Respect to the way you two are handling it with consideration to your children and each other. Wish both of you love and happiness
Thanks for your support and appreciation.
@@MindvalleyTalks??
My partner and I broke our 25 year relationship in Love. The feeling was natural and mutual. We knew and felt it in our core, that our time together (as a couple) had ended. During the time of packing everything up we never fought about money or assets, we just shared as to what was needed for each of us. We supported each other then and remain supportive now, 8 years later.
wow....feels sad after so many years....but 👏...that y are friends...
sounds like you been trough a lot, the only marriage brakes is because of so much trouble...
@@alshaungodinet4146 agree....
I think that is powerful
That's shame on him, who was greedy among you, or was it a feminist issue of equality, because abuse after a period of 25 years is out of question
From the video Vishen looks sad, the expression on his face..who wouldn't be?! But the way these handled it, is a lesson for all.
yes.. true
Vishen's body language told a different story when they announced the unwedding. Love is responsibility as well. It's just feelings.
Everyone is like aww this is beautiful and blah blah blah am I the only one who feels like this is sad
Nasya C breaking a divorece is sad because no one starts it to have a break up. I can see what they are trying to do, having experienced it myself. For me It’s like saying ‘ I don’t want to be with you, but I don’t hate you’ . Let’s continue separately and amicably. Good luck to you.
@Nastya C: Thank you - finally, the blessed voice of sanity. I thought I would never hear it.
One can apply extremely beautiful, intellectually self-aggrandising statements about the end of a relationship, and cloak it to be something wonderful that what it is associated to be. Feelings of euphoria or sadness do not have rational origins, neither can they be shoe-horned into a rational narrative. If this were the case, nobody would weep over the death of a loved one, or smile when experiencng a moment that touches one's heart..
To feel intense sadness or joy - is a sign that you are human, with feelings that weren't concocted from a synthetic paint-by-numbers origin. I'd rather be an authentic human than a mechanised being.
I'm with you. Divorce can never be cool for me.
This is not beautiful dear. They just act as if it is. It was sad and ofcourse a failure.
NO way is this okay!!! NO WAY!!! It is NOT okay. Yes, divorces happen but they hurt, so let’s not glamorize it. Sure, if you go through a divorce, it would help to be mature about it and remain friends.
Just be honest and real. Your kids are cool with it? How old are they to have that maturity? Don’t fool yourself. ALL actions have consequences. I HATE intellectual dishonesty.
Divorce happens because of reasons, but I guess they can keep it private but please do NOT lie and say it just ‘came to you.’ I wish they had more honest friends who could have counselled them. This is sad, and I don’t think they’ve disclosed the real reasons. How can they preach one thing and live another?
Absolute self-delusion!
Vishen You have no idea how timely this video was for my life and how much your transparency has blessed me.
If only every separation & divorce was this mature!
Love is freedom, it takes guts to fight for it and still the love doesn't end.
❤🙏
This is a Beautiful Concept that a couple can be honest enough with one another to admit that the marriage is really over, and allow a Beautiful Friendship to continue.♥️
More people need to learn to work together to keep their friendship, instead of allowing attorneys and courts to run Everything. Honesty is Always the best policy.
Your thinking is so high. We appreciate this and thanks a lot for your support.
Couldn't agree more
I learned that just because we stop loving each other passionately, it doesn't mean that anyone is bad, or we stop loving our ex partners wholly. I still live my ex husband now like a cousin. There's no need for hate. It's actually strange to me that divorces are so ugly. After my parents got divorced, my dad continued to visit my mom's house on Sundays, to have soup, even after she remarried. In my culture we have a hearthy soup on Sundays...
To be honest, this news did not come a surprise. My sympathies, because the end of a marriage can be incredibly painful. However, MindValley strongly encourages developing intuition, and my intuition told me more than a year ago that the end was near. I wish you both continued peace and happiness on your journeys.
Absolutely love this and how they are using their story as a way to teach others to not force themselves to stay on where there is "no life" left!
The bottomline is you weren’t soulmates or you would still want to be married. I think to be okay with walking away from a marriage, quite frankly you didn’t have an amazing relationship/ connection in the first place or you would be fighting for it and each other. A lot of people get involved and end up being in long term relationships out of connivence and fear of moving on. I agree those type of relationships are better ended, freeing one another to go on and find their true love. My husband feels it was Kristina who was wanting this, looking at both your body language in that six minute clip. Of course sometimes, it’s also the case where there is deep love which is one sided and they have to walk because the spouse is out of balance with his life ie workaholic who isn’t present in the relationship or someone who is an alcoholic , gambler etc. As for your relationship, I get the feeling there is something off, that is missing from the story. I think it’s also a bit naive to think you will automatically remain best friends, it’s too early to say. Wait to one or both of you start dating other people, that’s going to bring up a whole lot of pain. When either of you find a serious partner, they might not be happy that your ex is your best friend, instead of them. In today’s throw-away society it’s easier than ever to divorced. There are still however marriages that last forever, it’s not always easy, it’s hard work but their love for one another and the thought of being parted is what keeps them hanging in there. Of on the other hand, you are just cruising in your marriage. Yeah, maybe it’s not such a risk to throw away 16 years and just move on to the next person. However, some people take a long relationship for granted and it’s only after they move on, they regret it. I know of someone who walked a way from a long term marriage and while the ex wife is very happily married to someone else, he never got over her and has had another two failed marriages since. I think what you and Kristina are trying to present to everyone is not the normal reality of relationships. This whole unconscious coupling based on a Hollywood divorce ( since when do celebrities live in the real world or know what a normal life is?) is rather dangerous ideology.
Vishen and Kristina responsible for anyone else but themselves.. so if something else is someone's "normal reality", then they need to look within themselves and find their peace in a way that suits them. It's true that the more evolved you are, you make decisions from your conscience and less likely you are to regret it. Most people are not evolved, but that's their own karma and growth journey.
People are NOT possessions. Vishen is so great because he knows that. I divorced. I left my narcissistic psychopathic xhusband in 1998. Other people tried to force me to go back to him. I went back to him briefly making it abundantly clear I only did so to be next to the kids. I left him again quickly. I did all the legal work on my own to get the divorce. It was a complete nightmare. That man would not leave me alone. I started listening to Vishen and watching him and his people again. I am happy, single and looking for someone new. Thanks Vishen for your support. I received a video on business. I just launched my own affiliate marketing business recently. How did you know? 🤔 Algorithms are great!
Wish you luck hope you find someone that makes you happy and safe
I commend Vishen for being open and vulnerable about this as this takes courage considering how taboo this can be.
Honestly speaking, I don't think we realize how much we've been socially programmed to think that marriages are meant to last until death and that divorces are seen as a bad thing. We believe these things to be true because someone else or society said so. Regarding the ideas of marriage and divorce, there are many facets and nuances to both of them, and painting them with a broad stroke or seeing them in a black or white way may inhibit people to question or to contribute to these concepts. We also tend to see love as something that takes one form only during a relationship not realizing that you can still love someone, just maybe in a different form.
We all grow and change, that's inevitable. The relationship between two people can grow stronger or it can grow apart, depending on where they stand. Many people don't realize the amount of variables or factors that come into play when these decisions are made. If we want to get spiritual or esoteric here, it can be part of someone's life lesson/purpose. I don't know Vishen and Kristina personally, and I didn't witness what their relationship as a married couple was like. All I do is accept their choice. If you disagree, fine. Just be respectful of them and where they are in their lives.
This is SUCH a beautiful thing!! What an amazing success!! A successful marriage should never be defined by 'years together'!!
Except most vows say "til death do we part..." Essentially forever. My argument is to change the vows and the expectations from the get-go in a relationship.
successful marriage is until one of couple death,, that the real standard from first human and until end of human.
New age denial and nonsense
I just love how genuine he is..and pure minded..both of them ofcourse! I too have Aspergers..and have ended a 1.5 year long relationship on a happy note just like this.. being 21 year old..I find myself soo much in sync based on what he said..
I am aiming for getting to Mindvalley and just LOVE ALL SERVE ALL .. bringing impact planing the role that universe wants me to💖
I stopped this video midstream because I had the think about the fact that when God puts two people together, its forever! See when God opens the door for you to find your forever partner! You don't always see it at first. It may be years before you know. as with me, I many times said I want to quit this relationship. God showed me that he had given me what I ask for as a young woman. John past away with cancer in January 2016. Thro think a thin, we stayed together, til death do us part. I ask Father God to give me a cowboy when I was 21. John at first was far from a cowboy! in the end, he was my cowboy!
Finally, a way to remove the fear from the decision to marry and someone who is willing to show how to keep it real and make it work, not merely force it to "last." Thanks 😀
Do you really think you're the same person you were 19 years ago? Life is constant change, everything flows, there's no cnst, nothing lasts forever.
And the thing about personal development is to get better, not to be perfect
@@iwonawolna8047 Nothing lasts forever true, even some marriages.
“Love is a Decision” by Gary Smalley and John Trent would be a good book to read and apply before finalizing the conscious coupling decision. I happen to think that love is not a feeling but a decision. All of us have times or periods in our lives when we “act unlovable” or when we feel like love has faded. I think the ones make it for the long term are the ones that “decide” to love each other when the other one is going through a period of not being so lovable.
Yes love is a verb. That's what Esther Perrel says. It's a choice and decision. There are ebbs and flows and people do let down each other as well as repair. Pillar of marriage is repair of conflict and resolution.
That’s the most grown up explanation I’ve heard. Thanks Vishen for being so brave to share it. God Bless!
Man💚you've got me in tears(:
...such a Leader.
Beautiful.
Success is how you work on your relationships and your marriage. Start respecting women and put your ego
aside and your life will star changing.....your personal success is a real reflection of who you really are.
the real reason was that they just wanted to divorce, but were scared this could be very negative so decided to mask it by all this stuff...
I dont know Vishen or his group personally but I had a strange feeling about them for past 2-3 years. Then this morning I was watching Nelson Abreu and on the right side was the title 'Conscious Uncoupling' by Vishen and I thought, "oh no, it really is happening" so i stopped Nelson's video and watched this. Whatever your reasons are, it is none of anyone's business but your own. Best wishes to both of you.
I hope this isn't too late Vishen. First things first, forget the 'unconscious coupling' thing. If you still love your wife then the path back to true family love is just around the corner. Don't bother with the couples counselling. Just go back on holiday in your head to when you first met and go on a date to a nice restaurant. Your kids will thank you down the line (as opposed to viewing you - unfairly to some extent - as selfish).
Is it possible that it's not his kids rather you that views him as "selfish", because you are in fact just that?
GREAT VIDEO. I'M GLAD THAT BOTH OF YOU WERE ABLE TO END THAT PART OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP ON GOOD TERMS. WHEN CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED, ENDING ON GOOD TERMS HELPS THEM EMOTIONALLY😀
The emperor is wearing no clothes. When you are smart, you can rationalize (=Rational Lies).
"The grass is greenest where you water it." Mindvalley is all about personal growth-- yet there is no greater personal growth course than marriage (and parenting). I've seen this thing happen with other powerful/wealthy people, where they talk about this like it's a great thing. I agree with their parents, and it's not because of "tradition". It's so much more than that. It's about soul connections. The thing is that walking away from a marriage, especially when you say it's good, means you don't really understand the sacred space of it fully. (Real reasons to divorce are adultery, addiction, and abuse.)
The emperor is wearing no clothes. When you are smart, you can criticise and hide your own insecurities behind moral proselytizing and religious/social conditioning and call it "soul connection".
Truth is we have many soul connections in our lives. There are some cultures where a man marries more than one woman at a time traditionally, do they not have souls inside? There are no "real" or "unreal" reasons. We as humans, try to neatly fit everything into a box to make sense of it, but in reality, the truth is more than any of us can comprehend.
It's true that not all people divorce or indeed, stay in marriages for the "right" reasons (which is basically to do with spiritual laziness so to speak, not others' judgement). But everyone has their own journey and maybe that is what they needed at this time for THEIR growth.
Also, what happens if your partner does not want to communicate, be vulnerable at all or put in the effort to go to therapy?
Like forever?
And you are doing all of those things. Then you aren't really 'relating', are you?
This is what people in the past did not get, and I don't blame them. They married for economic and socio-religious reasons than personal ones yet dressed it up as spirituality or spiritual duty. Prevented social anarchy so made sense.
Marriage is important for the married yes, but not at the cost of your truth. It's no longer about flogging a dead horse and making a marriage last on paper for security, social status or even pseudo-spirituality when it doesn't make sense per your conscience.
You have to know when to stay and put in your 100% absolutely but you also have to know when to walk away.
Sorry to hear of your divorce Vishan, but that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever been a witness to. LOve your work. Thank you for sharing. Love and blessings to you and your ex-wife.
After 24 years together and 18 years of marriage I divorced and unfortunately was not in good terms. Even though, I tried hard to end on good terms it didn't happen because he was very controlling. Unfortunately, a lot of couples need to break up due abuse either mentally or physically so the "good terms" doesn't apply. I learned from all that I can love myself and I am worthy it. The pain was/is huge but worthy it. Congratulations for both of you being capable to be so friendly and respect with each other.
This was HUGE for me today. And I´m sure it was for so many. Thank you, Vishen, por posting
This is the most incredible talk I have heard. We are all taught that divorce is an extremely painful process. This is a new model for the world. I still felt incredible sadness watching the video. I don't know why.
Pla don't buy into this nonsense. He got dumped and is just making some stuff up.
Thank you Vishen for sharing your experience and the video with Kristina about how to consciously uncouple. What I liked most is about looking from "the alternative" lens - it adds more to the meaning of love beyond bondage. Thank you.
Thanks a lot, Sangitha.
Vishen, I am shocked to see this and my heart is warmed to see your choice. Just always know that you and the entire Mindvalley team are ALL Superheroes and highly valued in this evolving Global Society. What a beautiful example of Unconditional Love. Thank you and Namaste...
Wow Vishen may angels surround you and your family! One of your last videos i saw a golden glow crown you got this and you know it!
Thank you for making this public. We did this. You can separate without destroying the other person.
I did this without knowing I was doing it !!! Now I want to teach it
$19 / 19 Years ❤️
I dont know i have a feeling in that 6 min short video, vishen looks sad, Cristina looks completely okay with it. Maybe its her idea and then vishen has no other option but support it ☹
1. It is a great and bold step and nothing wrong in it 2. On previous occasions of your videos I felt a premonition that something like this is going to happen and now one more occasion to prove that I am good at it 3. What is really surprising in this episode is both have mutually agreed to end the relationship and that too smoothly without giving tough time.. so kudos to you 4. Now both can grow to their best and achieve their ambition 5. I would welcome this to end the toxic relationship which many couples are afraid of doing it for lack or courage
Great story on the Thai strip Club incident. Not all marriages last. What matters is how we treat people after falling out of love and it makes you move on better in your life as you have to carry on.. It's all about giving respect and getting respect in return that makes a broken relationship beautiful. God bless everyone.
Haha...the story of u losing ur wedding ring in a Thailand strip club is funny🤣🤣🤣
That is so beautiful, I cried through the video. I feel so sad that such a beautiful story and wonderful union is not mean to last forever. Thank you for sharing, there is a lot to learn. Letting go each other beautifully with respect is an art, hard internal work and worth learning.
As painful as it feels listening, what is so humbling is that many people forget that everyONE has personal struggles. Your status, career, wealth, looks...etc. do not prevent you from experiencing this life. Let’s not forget it.
I was reading The code of the extraordinary mind while I saw this video, and seriously this is unbelievable the stories which he shared in the book never let me think that something such will happen.
If I am feeling the pain even been so far from there life, I cannot even imagine how much they might have felt.
Just love the music in the starting of the video it just pumps up like anything. And we all are with you ,universe is with you. It takes a lot of courage to come up to stage in a time like this and speak about persona life. My good wishes with you always
Its heartbreaking for me !You brought me to tears.May God bless u both. It's also sign that of both of u r great as a person .Have been witness to relationships around which break on severe unhappy notes, involve cheating and inspite of all the efforts of one partner, the other one carries inimical attitude and creat hell for the partner of years unnecessarily. Beautiful uncoupling ! Thanks for teaching so much in each and every area of our lives. Incredible lesson.Honestly I must say something inside me broke today. It was so good to see u both together!
Dear Vishen, I have followed MindValley since 2012 by coincidence and met you in Munich in person 2017. I love the mind breakthroughs I had thanks to you and all the teachers/speakers/coaches who work together with you. I like also this of the idea of conscious uncoupeling. Now my question to you is: How come, that after all those years, after spreading consouciousness, all of the teachings, things in common with your now ex wife did this happen? And if you had taken both of you the Lifebook Journey, where you get shown also how to connect through daily stuff with your partner etc etc etc How could this marriage slip through you guys, fingers? Was the application missing some where of all the teachings you spread? Energy connection work of Jeffrey, Tantra and connection of Psalm Isadora, RTT of Marisa, clearing blocks from Christie? I think breaking it down it is plane and simple. Your teachings give hope to people, that you/we are on the driver's seat: Do the teachings really help, besides the career path? Or like with in tech it was not machine failure, but human application failure? And where, in order to learn from your experience? Thanks in advanced and lots of blessings
The smartest question and statement! Thanks for expressing it eloquently. I also wondered the same.
The greatest lesson after break up is "Move on You deserve a better life". Relationship older than a decade is definitely painful whether you do uncoupling or whatever process. It will never be a happy ending initially later on you can adjust. You can be good friends but never ever be best friends because somewhere you felt the pain. Surprisingly this happened with someone who practice "law of attraction" and still couldn't apply it on his relationship. When you tell people which level of LOA you are and still don't know about your own level and what could have been done to save it.....
Love this video. This is life 100%. Living, evolving. All experience. Thank you for transparency. ❤️
Sorry not buying it. She looks heartbroken & her face says she doesn't want to end it.
wow! Kristina Mänd you are strong and wise. My support to you. Looking at your body how you hold and control yourself - requires a lot of inner strength. I feel you. My support to you. Although your micro mimics telling something else when your voice and words - you are a beautiful soul, who is choosing universal love over something that our ego will never understand. I hope, Vishen Lakhiani someday you will lose the shine outfit of motivational business and find our unconscious world in truth. Playing this game in the "ego economy" has an end-date time for all of us: either you truly see the nothingness and unity, o will die not knowing. Still, at least with your way people, who would be still in the plastic world finding the door to the next step in their life, so in a way, we are all useful in this earth in our unique ways :)) Best of luck to you both! Love, Simona
Hello Simona I recommend you to Dr James do you need help to make sure your relationship is fully secured,no cheats, banishing third party,make your love think of you non stop,I advice you seek help from him
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Send him a message on Whatsapp.....
That was so flippin incredible! Wow.....thank you so much for deeper healing and revelation!❤️🙏
I'll be honest. I watched some of his talks a few years back. They are good. Some are inspirational. Sometimes Vishen can be inspirational. But there is just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. My subconscious and unconscious and the universe is telling me he is unsavory and run, run, run. Why am I getting such conflicting signals?
Because your intuition is serving you well.
Well the same could be said for conditioning from your parents/cultural upbringing but no you won't see it like that.. your sub conscious knows the truth. Uncover that and stick to it.. no one has the monopoly not Vishen, your parents, your religion, society etc etc.. only you can understand your truth. This is the journey of a lifetime.
hhe has a sleezy energy
He puts work growth first and relational needs last. He is wired that way being an entj.
Yah Vishen, we know what they do with those ping-ping balls in PATAYA 😂😂😂.
Thanks for leading even in this path you guys. 💚❣️💚 Love you guys!
Watching this not even married and no current boyfriend but I want to understand this for preparation because forever is a long time and it’s not for everyone.
This is beautiful ....Its not sad AT ALL !!
It will only be a sad occasion for those who dont understand the evolutional path that every individual on this planet are on ....
Sincere wish you the best for both. Blessings!!!
Thanks for sharing a very personal experience. It's very generous and courageous of you.
Certainly painful, but every pain if managed and tolerated makes us more resilient.
Thank you both for sharing truly inspiring!
I can completely understand, I went through the same. Did the same thing.
Thank you for the honest share and all the BEST always
You're amazing!! Great lesson!! Thank u!
I think before take this incredible decision we work on hearset area and so i have to read lots of book love relationship
Thank you share this bend reality workshop
You are so honest.......It is comforting not to feel so alone with my fate ANYMORE.....
Are you propagating divorce between husband and wife? Please don't do that. Husband-wife relation is most precious and scared and most beautiful. Try to unite them not apart them.
Very interesting perspective.
Perhaps, the separation will come full circle and you guys will meet at the center returning back to each other.
Who knows. Can't help it. I'm a traditionalist.😉💞
dido
The exact same thoughts I had half way into watching the video.
Yeah, bcs they said it was not because of something big. Well then if you can repair it then the longing of two lovebirds will eventually cover the the desire to separate
Yes, anything is possible even you realising that sometimes you have to break existing traditions that aren't working for all to form new ones.
It's different however, and the pain comes when the break up isn't mutual. Thank you for sharing. I know this is why I left after 18 years together, but he felt rejected and 8 years later still hasn't forgiven me. And recently when my love left me, it left me broken. It wasn't mutual
Maybe you didn't explain yourself enough or help him understand 🤔.
Sorry you got the favor returned to you. Maybe it was karma or just something to cause you to reflect on how you should've done things differently.
Who knows.
Either way I wish you all the best with everything
I don't know why this thing made me still feel sad.. oh why am I crying! :( I know it's ok but still..
Vishen thanks for sharing... as you’ve said... you are suffering... it’s awesome to do the conscious uncoupling for sure.. but it still causes suffering. I only wish more couples could do it this way.
The way of your talk, I like so much.
Salute to your courage,guts & patience sir!
M always inspired....
The moment i feel I'm undone i do seek from ur videos & lectures ❤
As someone who is about to get married, I’m a bit confused. I know Katherine Woodward Thomas’ work well and completely get and respect the idea of conscious uncoupling. But in this case, I’m not getting why it happened. Sometimes it happens if two people want to move in different directions but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. It sounds like the issue is they just love each other like relatives now. But that is what happens after 20 years together - you’re not going to feel the same lust or attraction. I just don’t understand how two people who can love and respect each other so much can get to that place of that not being enough - it makes me nervous. Just to reiterate, this isn’t a judgment on Vishen - I love the story and completely respect them and their decision is not my business. I am just not clear on how that happens in a marriage.... that there’s no major thing but you just decide you don’t love each other as partners.... just as relatives.... clearly there was some growing apart in other ways.
Yes my thoughts exactly. It sounded like they were too bz helping others for so many years that they forgot to work on them. It was the perfect PR exercise with staff and friends.
nk47100 I am replying back to you in 2022, probably by now you are already married, and I hope the best for you and your significant other. I've been married for about 8 years, however I met my wife around year 2000, we dated back them for 1 year, then stay friends for so long, then reunite and got married in 2014. I know you are confused, but the confusion comes from uncertainty, not knowing what's going to happen once you get marry, everyone has a difference and personal experience on marriage, I have mine as well. All I can say is things change once you get marriage for multiple reasons: you guys are not dating anymore, meaning you marry a person to live together in the same place, build a family, raise childrens, works on common goals, etc. During this transition things changes, why? because with the transformation of entering marriage a dozens of other responsibilities also join your journey of marriage, and all depend on communication, maintain the spark, and not get caught too much on raising childrens, work, home duties, etc. There is no a success formula to maintain a wonderful and happy marriage, it is as simply to dedicate a lot of hard work to maintain a healthy and lovely relationship while now doing dozens more responsibilities at the same time. It is complicated, you will have to have your own experience, then only then you will understand why persons stay in a relationship after so long or they just decide to separate, I like actually love the concept of "concious uncoupling" because it shows a lot of maturity and respect for each other, and their kids and relatives as well. That's all I can say, you will figure it out by yourself, no one can figure that for you, every marriage experience is unique, and there is no an standard model to say or predict if a relationship will last or will not, again, everyone experience is unique, have a wonderful year 2022 and beyond.
My girlfriend parted ways with me.
I wasn't able to share my own problems with her because I was trying to be her rock, her safe port and that made me so full of sadness that I ended up stop showing her that I loved her. That I cared. Since she couldn't guess the reason I was feeling like that, she thought that I was in fact loosing my feelings for her. That I actually didn't love her anymore. She thought this way for 6 months and then, when I finally had the courage to release everything I kept for myself, it was too late. Even tho I still loved her(and still do) , I stopped showing her and it made her feel really bad for 6 months and she started to accept that the ending was coming. Now, even knowing that it wasn't the case, that I was going trought a really bad time of my life, she was already so sure that we would break up that she just can't go back with her decision. It was already made before I opened myself to her. We would be together for 3 years in a week
Wow....very courageous. I mean not thinking of divorce as something bad. Sometimes it is a lifesaver.
Vishen, I Absolutely loved your vulnerability in this video. Im not sure how I missed this one, but loved the timing. What an amazing story you both shared. Love, Love, Loved this! Thanks for your vulnerability. Really! Wish more Men were as honest, humble and shy. So adorable both of you. ❤xo
Thanks a lot for your support.
Vishen, do you know what? this is really interesting.... I've being thinking about how the marriage is such a time convention. It is no more than a contract that should be ended with no pain when both parties agreed for the good of all the family. Thank you for sharing your experience. Thank you, I wish you all the best... Namaste.
My husband and I separated about year and half ago. We have a little specific situation,so we are getting divorce in February 2023. We stayed good friends...As the matter of fact,he is currently away,so while he is gone I am staying in his apartment.
What I have learned after separation is never to lose myself again.
Bless you both on your new path
So grateful for this 🙏 34 year marriage ending
Thank you for sharing this is transformative and healing
Thank you for sharing Vishen, it's very brave and inspirational.
When you do a deep dive you come out seeing the world completely differently and as you start to walk back into you the world it becomes apparent that a lot of elements that fit you perfectly before just don’t fit your anymore as you have grown. It’s part of the path speaking from experience. But it’s all good. I love what you have created with Mindvalley. Why don’t you come to Ireland to set up your European headquarters we have 12.5% corporate tax rate. That is why we have Facebook and Google’s headquarters in Dublin. I see exactly what you are trying to do with your vision and would love to see Mindvalley outgrow the largest tech companies because of its core Mission. Being involved in brand design for a lifetime and now mindfulness I can see it’s very possible!!
Kudos to both, Vishen & Kristina. You guys were able to compartmentalize your love into perspective...WOW!
Hhhhmmm🤔he's gone moving onto a younger hotter chick. Period. Blah blah blah.......its pointless trying to intellectualize this all so common scenario. I see pain in her smiling eyes. He looks far happier and liberated.
TheoRama he’s moved on already?
Can we see the mind of a being unless they confirm. Is that a right way to assume what our mind says based on facial expression or body language.
hes sleezy
Love the wedding ring story 🤣
Thank you Vishen. I would like to do the same, but only open minded people can understand this
The problem is the kids won't see it in your perspective. When his five year old is fifteen and sees her stepbrothers and sisters living with both parents, if Vishen remarries, she will feel abandoned. I once had a boyfriend who used to say "my dad and his family" or "my mum and her family". It was never "our family". I asked him why and he would say step parents will always love their kids more than you no matter how hard you try. His biggest weakness was he tried to please everyone and did everything they asked him including ridiculous things. His best friend told him to cut them lose and live his own life. It was sad but sometimes you've got to let people build their new lives alone.
You evolve ...n rediscover yourself ...The lesson I learnt
good luck finding a new partner if she's hanging around all the time as a business partner and good friend, and vice versa for her. no one wants to be third in a relationship.
TheSunshinefee daymnnnn! True true
None of your business
no one wants a middle aged single father of two with an ex wife always around doesnt matter how much money he has
He called it a "Concious Uncoupling"...,,,, i called it a "Mutual S eperation.".. I need this book he spoke of ..cause me and my Partner are exoloring ways to have our " Mutual Seperation". Without any pain or loss to other.
So how would you feel if your partner cheated on you and the trust pretty much went down the drain you try to fix it by doing things better and changing urself can you still be friends after that but the reality is that you would have to get over it and move on with your life you won't be beast friends but just a person that you know because of your kids
This is really sad , people can't be replaced , I do however wish them the best .
Thank you for the much needed belly laugh during what is a difficult time for me right now. My uncoupling was anything but conscious...in fact it was a surprise to me. He just left after 18 years. I wish so much that he had the presence of mind to speak to me about it before he did it. We could have been great friends now but I’m still struggling with the shock of betrayal and it’s clouding any positive feelings I might have about our time spent together. Do you have any information about the way forward for people who are in my situation?
there is no other way but to love yourself more now. It will take time for you to fully forgive your spouse. Im praying for your happiness and peace . Its normal to be sad,angry and hurt as it was part of being human. I dont know yor faith is but Im praying will find joy in Jesus if you will accept him as your savior
Hope you've healed since this comment.
This video would be very relevant, if not:
ruclips.net/video/jdD-Y29WxX0/видео.html
So, in my opinion.... "Conscious Uncoupling" means, to jump from one illusion to another... And... May also mean to be in open marriage... More traumatic... Man....!
He is so happy! When I see such happiness I be happy
I'm learning this lesson as we speak. I don't know what to feel. I feel the pain intensely yet our journey together has so many positives and I have total respect and love for her. Somehow there was no shouting or anger, just sadness confusion and plenty of tears. I have transformed myself during this relationship such that I could never intentionally hurt her even while I was hurting. The pain is mutual. I now am forced into a learning phase on how my thoughts are affecting my emotions and how I am responsible for how I feel. I believe there is a choice and I am doing my best to choose the positive option for my own well being. I have a ton of respect for what this couple have done, which is essentially breaking traditional modes of behavior and replacing them with something more personal and loving.
It is clear to me that only one person wanted this. I'm willing to bed your wife didn't.
Marriage is a lot of continuous work and ending is simply giving up - especially since everything is going "good". No need to spin it off as a new-age re-definition of how marriage should be, because according to this, there is no need for marriage - and it's great if it works for you, but that's not how the rest of the world operates.
It is true that love can fade away, and sometimes the spark is extinguished, but with work and mutual effort, there is nothing that can't be done. If you're doubting - keep going.
Well said.