My communication techniques with Heather
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- This is a two-part video. In the first part, I have a "lightbulb moment" where I figure out an effective way to let Heather manage her coffee independently. Although it seems like a small adjustment, it really helps me to help her. It’s a creative way to improve our morning routine.
The second part is my favorite. It shows how I try stay connected with Heather during our interactions. By focusing on her expressions and gestures and sometimes even whispering to her, she seems to find it easier to trust me and do what I need her to do with minimal need for language comprehension. You’ll see these moments unfold in the video.
Regarding consent, Heather has always been open to being filmed, even in the past knowing that the footage would be shared on my Facebook page or RUclips. She usually embraced it as a fun activity, often displaying a performance mindset. As a former healthcare professional, she enjoyed sharing her knowledge, and I’m confident she would enthusiastically participate if she could verbally consent.
Thank you for joining us on our journey. Your support buoys me, and I feel like we’re building a supportive community together.
#dementiacaregiver #dementia #caregiveradvice #alzheimers #dementiacare #caregiversupport #caregiver #alzheimerscaregiver #ftd #neuroplasticity
I love how much you love your wife. She won't get any better care than what you're giving her now.
@@eastcoastrabbit4474 thank you for that affirmation, I believe that as well!
@@JohnvanGurp❤
The fact that she answered you verbally with a "Yeah" when you said, "It makes you feel safe." You are doing a wonderful job with her, John.
I'm wiping tears from my eyes, witnessing a reality that love, still exists in this world.
Yup, this video really got me right in the feels. The tenderness that John shows Heather can almost feel overwhelming to me as a viewer as I don't have anybody to love and nobody loves me but me.
@@kgreene460 Ironically, the exact same thing here, exact.
@@LisaJohnson-dx1dp I’m blown away at beautiful feedback like this… It’s been a hell of a great marriage, I love her so so much.
@@LisaJohnson-dx1dp Sending internet hugs to you, we got this!! 🫂
@@kgreene460 And to you as well dear one.
It practically brought tears to my eyes. The world needs more people like you. You both are wonderful.
You are a beautiful person and so is Heather.
You are charming, loving and dear John. It's so hard to be as brave as you are, I lost my sister to Parkinson's at 56 years young. I have so much compassion for the long goodbye.
Her strong and happy reaction when you held her face in your hands and spoke with her, and led her by the hands. Things are changing so much but she definitely knows she is loved and safe. Beautiful ❤
The way you interact with Heather is so heartwarming! It’s wonderful that you are always looking for a way to connect.
I imagine even the slightest indication of a capacity for joy must be of some relief for you.
Yes! That’s exactly right.
This video brought tears to my eyes. Your love for Heather overflows; she is truly blessed to have such an amazing husband/caregiver.
When I watch this it gives my hope in humanity.
Music from the past can be a powerful thing. Hopefully, it is stirring up memories in her brain. Holding her face like that is a great idea. You do everything you can to connect with her. It's beautiful to see. Thank you.
Singing to Heather is a wonderful talent. The in-home hospice program my wife had before she passed included music therapy. It was one of the few things guaranteed to bring her out of the doldrums of Alzheimer’s - a smile on her face and tear in my eye. Your ability to bring smiles to Heather’s countenance shows the deep love in your relationship. Kudos!
I've always loved that song (Bonnie Raitt's version) and I love your t-shirt... but I can hardly express how I feel watching your connection with Heather. Seeing her laugh and respond "yeah" to you... seeing the love and humanity fully alive beneath the diminished memory and uncertain communication, and your gentleness and creativity with the coffee. Thank you for demonstrating what is possible. Bless you both. 💕
That did my heart so much good to see Heather smile! God Bless You for your goodness to her. Diane
Thank you. My husband is slipping into dementia, your videos are an encouragement.
Hugs
Youre doing wonderful w/her! U can see how she still feels very safe w/ deep love & trust still inside her for u. She is getting superb care at home in her place of most comfort w/you. Take care over there! 🌷
John, I have tears as I witness your bond and her answer to you confirming she is safe. So much of what you are experiencing I feel I have experienced as a new mother. I know it is so different but there are so many similarities nonetheless. This is the kind of love and care I would want for my own son. My goodness, what an extraordinary person you both are. I obviously love the t-shirt, but that is a side note (pun intended)! Bless you and Heather and your whole family. Thank you for sharing. I wish we could have given this type of care to my mother in law. ❤
She is so pretty. An unfair disease. Thanks for the insight and letting us see how much you care for her.
It's more than unfair, it's a disgusting worthless disease along with many others. Too many people have to suffer and I will never understand that.
I stumbled upon this gem & now I am stuck here. Love, goodness, hope, intimacy, humanism.. they do exist after all. May both of you live long & keep spreading this light. ❤❤❤
This video proves love is more than what we can do or say, it’s a feeling ❤
Thats sooo sweet......you are truly a good man and a great husband to Heather❤
Looks like a good day for Heather and a small win for you. You have such patience with her and she seems happy. I think a small part of your history together shines through for Heather at moments.
Unless living this, it's unimaginable for anyone. I did 7 years without support until I couldn't. God bless, John x
Music makes such a wonderful connection! My mum was in a semi-vegetative state, but put on some Glen Miller and her feet and fingers would start tapping away - it was lovely to see. Sadly, when the music ended, so did the tapping, but there was that window of some recognition albeit it briefly.
You are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING with her!! I know it’s tough but you’re a rock star 🌟
Thank you so much!!
Thank you so much for sharing this, John. Heather May not understand what you are saying, but she certainly feels the love you have for her. What a special bond you two share. ❤
What a wonderful beginning To my day. I love how you accommodate for her enjoyment of coffee on the porch. You have an incredible voice. She moves being guided by you. A tender and safe love. Beautiful. The end was so sweet as she looked at you tube and we got her beautiful smile and winsome laughter.
My sweet husband was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago and my Mom 2 months ago. I am trying to figure things out, thank you so much for your valuable videos. Much love to you & Heather! 🤗
Amazing how you're able to interact and communicate with Heather! I had a smile and tears welling up in my eyes the entire time. Thanks for sharing such sweet moments!
Wow, just wow, you are a wonderful human being. The love shows on your wife's face. This is a rough journey you are on, but i found that sometimes you can connect through music. I used to play my mums favourite songs to her and i could see the enjoyment of her face. She had Alzheimer's and passed in February this year, i had very mixed emotions of loss and relief, but i know she is finally at peace. When you sing to your wife it is beautiful. Stay strong and keep showing her the love you feel, because i really believe that they can feel it also. Enjoy every moment you have with her. Best wishes from Australia.
I’m sorry for your loss. Thanks for your comments.
Such tenderness between you. So pure! Love lives on.
You are remarkable - not only for the amazing love and respect you show for your wife, but also for sharing useful techniques for others.
Loved her reaction. You reached her!
I find this so romantic and reminds me of the true meaning of love and marriage. It's also a process I hope my wife and I never have to go through. Regards from Kent, England x
This made me cry. Thank you for sharing such intimate moments of humanity.
How difficult and you’re so loving. Bless you.
It’s easy to see that you make her as happy as she can possibly be. Sending up prayers for your continued strength right now!
That’s my goal! Thank you.
I love that you are sharing your creativity in connecting with your dear beautiful wife. 💕👍🙏
So loving! Helps to know as we age, even without serious illness like Heather, we can remain close and loving! My husband Ken and I met disco dancing in the 70’s! I hope we never forget those moves!🩷👏💖
Heather loves you so much. You make her happy. Her genuine joy in your presence shines bright in her smile and her laugh. Words are unnecessary. 💐
Ahhhh that is just so beautiful John, you will always have these wonderful memories of Heather, they are so special. Hopefully in my mind l hope Heather can grasp a little of how truly you love her. Thank you for sharing these very special videos. 🤗♥️
You are so wonderful with your wife. Sending you a virtual hug. I can’t even imagine how difficult this is for you.
A couple of things we did was made photo albums about different times in their lives, family ones , old and newer. Mum was an artist so one album was about her art , Dad loved boating /sailing so lots of pictures of his boats , his tools that he worked on his sailboat to replace the deck etc.
some days we’d look at one and it could dig out a memory which we’d slowly build on, some good times came from those once in awhile.
We framed pictures of all the family and put their names on them which sometimes caught a memory. We’d also talk about earlier times in life to see if we could find a place they remembered and if we could we could sometimes move forward a bit at a time . They didn’t always work and didn’t always last for long but those days were precious, when they knew who they were for awhile.
Angel from Montgomery is one of my favourite songs👏🏼👏🏼 The documentary I watched on music said the parts of the brain that light up to music is really big and sometimes triggers memories, looks like she was really aware after your music.
Take care, keep up the good work, keep your eye open for infections, Mum in particular would get loopy if she had a UTI. We’d be wondering why she had slipped so fast,or was really agitated and that’s what it would be. Dad stopped eating and drinking but we discovered he had strep throat and it hurt to swallow. 🙋🏼♀️
That was PRECIOUS!
🙏🤗❤️Precious Moments with Heather….Blessings🙏
Her laugh is infectious by the way!
So very sweet. A true and beautiful love story🙏🌹🙏
She is so very blessed to have you. It is incredible the ways you continue to love her, even though she is not able to reciprocate. Many people choose to leave when love gets “hard”…you have chosen to stay and love her hard! Thank you, for taking your vows so seriously and continuing to honor them. You videos teach me something every time I watch them…I’m helping to care for my Mother in Law and it is not easy some days!
It was so nice to see and hear her laughter 😊
How a simple observation of how she drinks her coffee, and a little modification made life a little easier for a second. Small victories make a big positive mental impact on your own life. A wins a win.
This was so heartwarming.. Her little laugh is adorable.
She is the most fortunate woman having a love like yours. This is so tender and sweet. True love exists ❤.❤ Thank you for sharing.
That's beautiful!
Hey I just came across your channel right now, and am deeply moved by your devotion and efforts for your wife even in such a tough time. You are a strong man sir 🙏
Wonderfully sweet, thank you both for the blessings of this message.
Sitting here having my morning coffee with tears in my eyes. Such a sweet, sweet video🌷
All wives who develop dementia would be so happy to have a husband - caretaker like you! You are simply amazing 😊
She is still enjoying life, so praise God for that.
Beautiful you brought tears to my eyes you are such a loving husband! ❤
I just saw a move by all the beautiful comments like that… Thank you so much!
Awww. Darling❤
Sending love from Montana
This is one of those videos that changes my perspective. I see sacrifice and love and it puts things in context of what is important. Anyone can be in such situation because life is hard. It is hard and chaotic. But you sir shine light with your strength, worth ethic and love. Kudos to you and may you and Heather find peace. Her brain may be damaged but I bet her soul fells all the love you pour.
That’s a heck of a nice comment… I really really appreciate it.
Brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for sharing
Beautiful, what you're doing for her is amazing and it comes across that she's so loved and cared or. I lost my Dad to Dementia/Alzheimers back in 2019 and I know that whole weird process of grieving for a living person and looking for moments of connection and lucidity so well. She's so lucky to have you, stay strong and keep doing what you're doing.
This brought tears to my eyes. She is so blessed to have a good man like you in her life. God bless both of you.
You are such an inspiration how you interact and help Heather ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@annieoscar thank you so much.
The love that you show to Heather is just wonderful! You’re a great husband and caregiver! You can tell she loves you so much too❤️🤗🤗😀👋
I'm saving your vlogs because I know I will be needing them.
😢 Love is a Beautiful Thing. What a sweet couple you two make ❣️
How heart breaking it must be to hear her empty laugh. I imagine how I would suffer if I heard my wife laugh laugh like that knowing it was not appropriate. You are an emothionally strong man. May God bless you and give you strength.
Beautiful.
Such love and devotion....few appreciate the meaning behind the words "I take you for better or worse." ❤
Oh so beautiful John, so,encouraging, the big smile and laughter from Heather is so heartwarming. This my friend is the depth of true love!❤️
She such good natured❤
New to your channel. So happy i have found your channel 😊 My dad was diagnosed last year with dementia. He still lives at home with my mom. All of my siblings help out my mom everyday as i do as well. It is so hard seeing my dad like this. My parents have been married for 52 years this September. I love your channel because of your love for Heather ❤ We are doing all we can to make it easier on my mom,but some days are extremely tough. Thanks for showing us a bit of you and Heather's life😊 By the way i love Heather's name because i have a daughter named Heather also😊
Hi John, I kind of know what you’re going through. My mother had vascular dementia and I know the impact that it had bot on her and on our family. You have shown such love and support and patience with Heather. I hope that you can have her at home for the longer term but you Weil know that there may come a time when it is in her interest to go into care. Until then, I wish you all the best in your life with Heather. Love from Scotland ❤️❤️🏴🏴
John, It's wonderful to learn simple solutions. Your videos are very welcome. Your love for Heather shows through every interaction.
What a magnificent blessing you are to her.
I love her very much.
I am loving the short videos!!
Beautiful Love Story :-) Brightened my day :-) Thank you for making the effort to share. Comforting and helpful.
True love produces pure light John and Heather still knows it somewhere deep down. Her response was priceless for you personally and we shared that small glimpse of your wonderful care so thank you. God bless you both and have a blessed week.
Bless you both 💛
So tender and profoundly moving.
Such a sweet video and your singing is amazing. I’m sure this is very hard on you but just know your doing an amazing job taking care of your wife 🥰
Very touching
I think music is a language all of it's own and she may very well still understand the music although probably not the words. I'm curious about her almost "nervous" laugh. It seems like in one of the old videos we heard her laugh and this is her laugh but now she just uses it somehow maybe when she's happy or just as some sort of communication. She also does smile at the camera which is nice. You definitely are a very loving husband and she feels safe in your hands.
She is beautiful !! Bless her heart.
Thank you John.
A very sweet video! Hope you and Heather have a good day today.
Love Heathers beautiful smile!
Heather seems to respond well looking in the mirror or at the two of you on your phone when you are recording, big smiles!
Yes, she lights right up!
New sub binge watching.Ya’ll are such a lovely couple.🙏
Never in my wildest dreams did I think somebody would be binge watching my videos! Thank you so so much.
@@JohnvanGurp yes indeed! Yw
Beautifully bittersweet.
How sweet 🥰
God Bless you for caring so Dearly for your wife..Wishing you Courage and Strength.
Strong brave man.
Wow !!!!! what a lovely looking lady... wonderful to see love in action... thank you for sharing
God Bless you both and your family. We all stand with you ❤️
You are a hero!
You are so wonderful taking such good care of your wife. Heather is so pretty and I bet she’s got a great sense of humor,she’s got a great laugh