How to make stress your friend | Kelly McGonigal | TED

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  • Опубликовано: 3 сен 2013
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    Stress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to see stress as a positive, and introduces us to an unsung mechanism for stress reduction: reaching out to others.
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Комментарии • 5 тыс.

  • @Yarin4ever
    @Yarin4ever 4 года назад +4384

    "Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows." That's an amazing sentence.

    • @beachknc218
      @beachknc218 4 года назад +26

      Yes indeed. That was an amazing statement.

    • @rogerraybird1342
      @rogerraybird1342 3 года назад +10

      A purpose gives us focus and drive. 🙏

    • @HeyImAedRianne
      @HeyImAedRianne 3 года назад +33

      Dude, Im having a headache a while ago thinking about things that stress me out and then this comment made me feel better, then suddenly my headache is gone.

    • @Yarin4ever
      @Yarin4ever 3 года назад +1

      @@HeyImAedRianne You'll feel better soon! :)

    • @JGDcarol
      @JGDcarol 3 года назад

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      Rational, intelligent decisions and actions in all areas of life are a function of a calm, peaceful mind.
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      Bawa n Dinesh are best-selling authors, prolific speakers and personal coaches and have been teaching the Art of Living courses for the last 27 years.
      Their online workshop is a smooth blend of live and recorded sessions - Yoga, pranayama, Sudarshan Kriya, guided meditations, group processes and an interactive QnA session await you from this Thursday evening.
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  • @KingJami3
    @KingJami3 8 лет назад +4211

    "Chasing meaning is better than avoiding discomfort." Most definitely

    • @waynekille5071
      @waynekille5071 7 лет назад +95

      That was the most perfect piece of wisdom/ instruction in a talk packed with gems

    • @njthepanda7912
      @njthepanda7912 5 лет назад +106

      I also totally loved the part what she said after this, "Go after something that creates meaning in your life and then TRUST YOURSELF to handle the stress that follows."
      We often lose trust in ourselves whenever we face adversities, and I think this quote makes you look back on why you chose to pursue something difficult and makes you trust yourself more because you're the one who made the decision thus your body will help you overcome it as long as you trust yourself.

    • @chanuppuluri8726
      @chanuppuluri8726 4 года назад +11

      This one almost made me cry

    • @kimhorngch
      @kimhorngch 4 года назад +4

      hello

    • @siicite1
      @siicite1 4 года назад +1

      Bob Dobalina cbvgcvvvvvvcccxxxccvvvvb. bhhvvbvb. bbfgffsdfghjklkooiioioopohhhbn

  • @petergoligher
    @petergoligher 6 месяцев назад +74

    I can’t believe this video has been available for 10 years and I’m only seeing it now. Thankfully Steven Bartlett referenced this exact TED Talk in his new book.
    My favourite part was actually Kelly’s response on avoiding or embracing stressful situations:
    “Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life, and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows.”

    • @Husain_bohra
      @Husain_bohra 7 дней назад

      why are you writing the book's name in a sense to promote it or give it a false sense of credibility?

  • @TheMGSupreme
    @TheMGSupreme Год назад +289

    “Caring creates resilience" is gotta be one of the most thought-provoking and powerful sentence I'v heard in my life. Great vid.

    • @memyaccount8213
      @memyaccount8213 Год назад +5

      I think this could also be related to serotonin’s connection to self-esteem. Caring for & being cared for by others can affect your sense of self-worth/confidence, which in turn affects your serotonin (& mood regulation) levels.

    • @misstozkoparan
      @misstozkoparan Месяц назад

      Osho would likely discuss the dangers of external validation and the importance of inner peace when addressing dependency on others and its effects on an individual's self-esteem, confidence, and serotonin levels. He would emphasize that personal happiness and value must be found independently of others' approval, as reliance on external validation can risk losing one's inner worth and authenticity.
      Desiring approval and validation from others can be natural, but Osho would point out that depending on others is not a healthy way to build self-esteem and confidence. He would stress the importance of turning to one's inner resources, self-sufficiency, working on oneself, and finding inner happiness. In this process, meditation and mindfulness practices can help an individual overcome their dependency on external approval and lead a more independent, free, and joyful life.
      According to Osho, dependency on others may have a temporary and external effect on serotonin levels and overall happiness, but true and lasting happiness comes from an individual's own inner strength, love, and acceptance. Therefore, finding one's inner peace and happiness is more critical than the effort to please others.

  • @TranquilSpaz
    @TranquilSpaz 4 года назад +1789

    "Chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort."

    • @rogerraybird1342
      @rogerraybird1342 3 года назад +29

      True that. Purpose. Live on purpose, with purpose. It’s not always about result but intent that we show up for our own lives and do the damn work. 🙏

    • @mrabim2593
      @mrabim2593 3 года назад +23

      That one sentence raise a lot of those previously sitting audience into standing ovation.

    • @rachelraulinetabanao5744
      @rachelraulinetabanao5744 3 года назад +2

      Beautiful!

    • @peymanx
      @peymanx 3 года назад +2

      @@mrabim2593 yeap, exactly

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 года назад +4

      Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏

  • @CullenBoyer
    @CullenBoyer 7 лет назад +3988

    Now I'm stressed about figuring out how to greet my stress with joy and courage.

    • @marleee.2174
      @marleee.2174 7 лет назад +123

      go to 5:30 and watch it, she explains it right there. next time you sense that you're feeling anxious tell yourself this is your body preparing you to get through the situation and just keep repeating that to yourself

    • @Annakneemuss
      @Annakneemuss 6 лет назад +21

      I ran into this new paradigm (for myself and most health professionals, of which I am one) back in Janurary at U of AZ for an intensive 10 day training in many modalities, but focused on Intrerative and Functional Medicine paradigms. Read some comments and she is a naturally gifted presentor, along with all her knoledge and wisdom from experience. There is a book, Stress Teflon by Luke Mathers and I highly recommend it to anyone. It is a no BS way to put all this shift in thinking to actual practicality. The hormone relationship made leaps and bounds with the genome, the Einstein moment for actual individualized health restoration, inhancement, prevention, etc. that "health care" was meant to be. Then the collaboration of professionals from all sciences formulated the Institure for Functional Medicine and it has created a complete new paradigm for how we view and treat illnesses. Instead of the one size fits all formula of the allopathic silo, now the ability to provide whatever the body needs to heal itself is utilized.

    • @jasperbartolazo4794
      @jasperbartolazo4794 6 лет назад +5

      norpY then figure out how to stop the stress that was caused by figuring out how to greet your stress with courage and joy.

    • @lynnli76
      @lynnli76 6 лет назад +1

      Exactly.

    • @PoaProtozoaGoa
      @PoaProtozoaGoa 5 лет назад +5

      :)))) i think you're already doing an excellent job!

  • @Diesel_Budgie
    @Diesel_Budgie 2 года назад +501

    So as long as I don't stress about the stress I'm fine

    • @vikash9619
      @vikash9619 2 года назад +8

      Wow.....

    • @mennaelatar487
      @mennaelatar487 2 года назад +10

      Yes exactly

    • @Poetry4Peace
      @Poetry4Peace 2 года назад +9

      @@mennaelatar487 fr ppl be like im soo stressed like bruh just let it pass like a book im reading about overcoming anger and irritability. Anger will pass n slowly but surely dissipate so live life TO THE FULLEST I CAN'T LINGER NO LONGER ON DUM ARGUMENTS WITH FAMILY etc i think this lead to my moms cancer honestly.. 😭😥😢

    • @AftabAhmedLakhani
      @AftabAhmedLakhani 2 года назад

      🤩💞

    • @danielmaluenda9731
      @danielmaluenda9731 2 года назад

      Yeah man don't abuse stress!

  • @arunitsingh3518
    @arunitsingh3518 10 месяцев назад +120

    "Chasing meaning is better for your health than avoid discomfort...so the best way to make decision is to go after what creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows" ❤

    • @annahms4539
      @annahms4539 6 месяцев назад +4

      I love that ending, it is beautifully phrased!
      Chasing meaning will always be scary but it will be worth it in the end. Discomfort should not hold us back from our dreams. We have to push through those feelings. The most important thing is indeed to rely on ourselves. Stress is our friend and supports us. Stress will always be by our side to give us energy and prepare us to meet this new challenge. But only if we have the right mindset. Mindset is everything!

  • @BrittleHeaded
    @BrittleHeaded 7 лет назад +683

    "This is my body helping me rise to this challenge." Nailed it.

    • @MatosoFlawless
      @MatosoFlawless 4 года назад +6

      most impotant thing she said for me, haha and actually made sense...

    • @jzezcozy6862
      @jzezcozy6862 4 года назад +3

      yes me too..i love this .

  • @Kickzi
    @Kickzi 8 лет назад +2674

    That Lady is sharp. It feels like she's on top of her topic all the time. Also liked her fluent presentation skills

    • @platcrab4890
      @platcrab4890 7 лет назад +180

      i like the part where shes attractive

    • @yuansutopia
      @yuansutopia 7 лет назад +33

      I've been using this as a model presentation :-))

    • @adabndashotofjager8033
      @adabndashotofjager8033 7 лет назад +20

      Feminism should follow her and many others like her and not these whiny fucks! Men are more intimidated by women like this.

    • @pranjalsutradhar5122
      @pranjalsutradhar5122 7 лет назад +63

      She is a psychologist. Her work is to talk with people and help them. As they say, a psychiatrist can talk a happy man, to sad. They know how to put words and make you say "That Lady is sharp."!

    • @davidmasterson5342
      @davidmasterson5342 6 лет назад +42

      A psychologist and a psychiatrist are VERY different focuses. What are you trying to say?

  • @yossipariente4165
    @yossipariente4165 Год назад +123

    Around seven years after seeing this, I'm here retrospectively to say a huge thank you, this has SAVED my life! Starting from a ridiculous, stress-induced medical file, I've since been involved in far more stressful projects and situations, but with zero adverse health effects. Stress doesn't kill but fear of stress might...

  • @mackenzieray3493
    @mackenzieray3493 4 месяца назад +6

    Well... i have seriously severe panic attacks and anxiety attacks thanks to years and years of googling my symptoms. Its very unhealthy but in the time of stress or having an anxiety episode, i cannot convince myself that im okay. Its not as easy as some people try to make it out to be. When you're in that moment you can only freak out and think youre dying just for it to drain you later. I hate it. This video actually helped me ALOT.

  • @kaan61
    @kaan61 6 лет назад +2093

    Lol thought the title said:
    “How to stress your friend.”

  • @Ok-cz4xf
    @Ok-cz4xf 4 года назад +2316

    "182,000 people died"
    *Laughter*

    • @pandanina
      @pandanina 3 года назад +79

      ---RIGHT WHAT

    • @juicebocx4217
      @juicebocx4217 3 года назад +41

      I know like wtf

    • @poerava
      @poerava 3 года назад +29

      Scottish humour bruh. If you get it, you get it. Hoots mon.

    • @timestamp7732
      @timestamp7732 3 года назад +26

      More people died of COVID, trump still laughs

    • @derstefstef4291
      @derstefstef4291 3 года назад +16

      they laugh because of the fact, that in the studies healthyness is measured by a death counter, while if you hear of normal studies they do search your blood for anomalies, or something.

  • @lesleyboulant4053
    @lesleyboulant4053 2 года назад +212

    This is so profound. I have sent this individually to everyone of my friend group and my family. Basically, “together, we can do this!”

    • @angelinebena9675
      @angelinebena9675 2 года назад

      Ikr!!!

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 года назад +4

      Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏

    • @NizarAlvi90
      @NizarAlvi90 7 месяцев назад

      True

    • @music-by-HARUNA-ERI-YUYA
      @music-by-HARUNA-ERI-YUYA 7 месяцев назад

      I will also send this to my mom.

  • @user-CK33
    @user-CK33 7 месяцев назад +493

    Who is watching this video in 2023 😂

  • @ashleyhall4406
    @ashleyhall4406 5 лет назад +1442

    I wish TED would list the studies mentioned, so we could review the methodology.
    It would just be a good practice to elevate all of us.

    • @everlynbuford9116
      @everlynbuford9116 5 лет назад +73

      www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend/footnotes?referrer=playlist-talks_to_help_you_manage_stres
      see footnotes

    • @daveryerson448
      @daveryerson448 4 года назад +45

      Read her book: The Upside of Stress. It's about 1,000 studies that cover all of this. The reference section lists all the studies. I'm not actually recommending the book: all the studies got kind of tedious.

    • @NicholasCat
      @NicholasCat 4 года назад +10

      Google Fu can elevate you too.

    • @user-db7om5wu5j
      @user-db7om5wu5j 4 года назад

      @@NicholasCat ded 😂😂😂😂

    • @yeseniasanchez3094
      @yeseniasanchez3094 4 года назад +8

      One of them was from the University of Wisconsin. When they show the slides during the talk they’re referenced in the bottom right hand-corner. The authors, org, year and title of the peer-reviewed article are there. I heard JSTOR is free now so it should be easier to access them.

  • @killerkittens14
    @killerkittens14 3 года назад +536

    had to watch this for a class and it stressed me out

    • @amirrorh1000
      @amirrorh1000 3 года назад +9

      @@geannaabrahams8695 This is no coincidence

    • @blackmarket2967
      @blackmarket2967 3 года назад +7

      @@amirrorh1000 same

    • @sysmixy335
      @sysmixy335 3 года назад +31

      Had a write a summary about this. Now this is stressful when you have other work to do....

    • @jonathanmoore7453
      @jonathanmoore7453 3 года назад +3

      Must be a common class standard lol

    • @littletath
      @littletath 3 года назад +1

      same

  • @neelshah8908
    @neelshah8908 Год назад +56

    'You can trust yourself to handle life's challenges and you're remembering that you don't have to face them alone'. Such a powerful statement! I wish someone had told this to my younger self.

    • @pervezdaruwala8499
      @pervezdaruwala8499 Год назад

      Never too late Neel, tell it now to your Wiser self. Aavjo

  • @nurulassyfa9160
    @nurulassyfa9160 Год назад +65

    I am so glad I watched this video. After I watched this video, its really really changed my perspective about stress. This video is so relevant. I'm sure everyone has been under stress for some time. And now, we may also be stressed.
    During this time, we must have assumed that stress is our enemy. We only know that stress only makes us sick. When we feel stress, our heart must be pounding, and it's uncomfortable. But from this video, I got a new knowledge that stress can makes us healthy. Why? When we change our way of thinking about stress, we can change our body's reaction to stress.
    In fact, all aspects of our body will respond positively to stress. How? The trick is that we have to get used to looking at negative things positively. Sometimes, we can not change the situation but we can change our mindset to handle the problem well by trying to understand them, approaching them positively, and adjusting our attitude. The point of this video is how we think about something can change the whole situation.
    After watching this video, Not only do I love this - but I adopted this advice in my own life. 🙌♥

  • @IgnaceAleya1
    @IgnaceAleya1 8 лет назад +1762

    This works for more things than stress, For example if you would go sporting and you'd believe that you won't lose weight or gain muscles you won't gain as fast as if you would think you can do it. Some other study I've seen, I really think that your mindset can change your whole life.

    • @RawPeds
      @RawPeds 8 лет назад +14

      +Ignace Aleya kind of Placebo effect.

    • @hakim6387
      @hakim6387 6 лет назад +6

      This is true bro

    • @alliestinnett2135
      @alliestinnett2135 6 лет назад +18

      law of attraction

    • @Wild4lon
      @Wild4lon 6 лет назад +3

      Ignace Aleya that's the whole reason people believe so much in stuff like the law of attraction isn't it?

    • @Wild4lon
      @Wild4lon 6 лет назад +7

      RawPeds it IS the placebo effect. Don't underestimate the capability of the mind.

  • @marnikinrys
    @marnikinrys 9 лет назад +2202

    Not only do I love this - but I adopted this advice in my OWN life. Great advice.

  • @barbaral.tullis9409
    @barbaral.tullis9409 3 года назад +10

    Since I have had M.S. for over 50 years, stress has been part of my life. It’s something a person learns to ‘deal with’. Exercising, eating healthy and napping become part of the daily rituals. Seeing my physicians is part of my life too. At least we have Dr.’s we can see!
    Keeping a positive attitude helps me. The smile on my face helps me too. When I share treat with everyone I meet, I usually get one in return.
    Barb

  • @diaryash_
    @diaryash_ Год назад +142

    00:13 - start
    01:21 - study: bad news - 43% risk of dying (182,000 deaths because they believe that stress could cause death)
    03:17 - social stress test
    04:13 - math test
    05:14 - rethink !
    06:50 - how you think about stress matters
    07:45 - stress makes you social
    10:54 - caring, resilience

    • @mkh983
      @mkh983 9 месяцев назад +3

      THANK YOU FOE THIS

    • @chippy4943
      @chippy4943 8 месяцев назад +11

      you deserve having both sides of your pillow to be cold

    • @blonde6197
      @blonde6197 8 месяцев назад +4

      Thank you! I’m doing a paper on this so this is definitely needed

    • @whatsnew955
      @whatsnew955 7 месяцев назад

      @@chippy4943😂😂😂😂

    • @anjujohn8868
      @anjujohn8868 7 месяцев назад +2

      You are an angel!!

  • @Jenkkimie
    @Jenkkimie 9 лет назад +373

    It is about how you decide to think about it. Like she was saying, you need to change your perception of stress. I remember how when reading psychology still in high school ( University student of psychology these days), my teacher and I got talking about stress and what he said was that " Stress is a sign that you care about the thing that is stressing you out. " - that really struck me.
    By approaching things differently and seeing them in a different light, you can actually rechannel your psyche to limits you were not even aware of. In this it is your whole body from physical to psychological responses readying you to perform a situation that has a lot of stimulus. Stimulus which does not have to be a bad thing if you decide to just relax and let go.
    This allows you to perform in front of an audience and be yourself without having to worry you make mistakes, because we all do. It is normal and humane, nothing embarrassing to worry about. These days I do not even care if people laugh when I make mistakes, I laugh at it too.
    In the same way I came to find that bad experiences can be channeled to be good experiences instead. For example I was diagnosed a lethal case of Chron's disease in my high school.
    Even though the experience was really hard because it nearly took my life, now looking back at it the person I was about to become (brat) and the person I am today then I am much rather the person i became trough that experience and with that experience than to be the person I would have been if it never happened to me in the first place.
    I found that finding the good in the bad is the key of dealing with hardship. Criticism? Sure, it feels frustrating at the moment. But that is until you realize that you can actually turn criticism to a useful tool for self improvement. Alright, I made a mistake doing this or that, but hey now I at least know what I need to pay attention to so I can work on that so I no longer have to make the same mistake again.
    All of this and so many more other things in your life is only a matter of perspective. What is it you decide to take from your experience and how you decide to view different experiences.

    • @Valerie-mw6ih
      @Valerie-mw6ih 9 лет назад +2

      Thank you so much! I've been looking for this book in English for quite a long time!

    • @wadeehakhalid4665
      @wadeehakhalid4665 8 лет назад +3

      Thank you so much! It helped relieve a lot of worries. :)

    • @Jenkkimie
      @Jenkkimie 8 лет назад

      ***** Oh well you can choose to see everything you want, nobody is stopping you. Then again, I am relatively convinced that saying something along the lines of: " You suck. " - is not a very compelling argument.

    • @Jenkkimie
      @Jenkkimie 8 лет назад +2

      ***** I get that but actually there is actually evidence to suggest that what she is saying is true. As I study psychology, one thing I have learnt is that one another reason why stress is actually good because it grows you as a person and helps you to grow conflict solving skills which in turn make you better at dealing with daily-life issues.
      Of course we also must observe what are the issues we face in modern technological climate. When you look at Dr. Geri Puleo's video and the American capital culture then I think that the environment is an issue there. People have this sense of " I have not make X amount of money or else " and work their brains out which is not a healthy model of functioning. And Dr. Geri Puleo points out why.
      So there is a grain of truth in thinking that too much stress is your enemy and that is a really good question to ponder where the lines go. I think that these changes to how we perceive things work as a good coping mechanism to a point and allows us to tolerate it better. But obviously if the environment is absolutely toxic to the condition of your mental health as you get absolutely crushed by the amount of stress stimulus, you need to get out for your own sake.
      To this problem I think that being self-aware your limits is the key. To know how much work you can do, what you need and want and to try to relax and not feel so much pressure about having everything tip tap perfect always. You consume so much energy unnecessarily by being too harsh to yourself and not allowing yourself to forgive yourself and give yourself a break from time to time. I think this is where the biggest problems come and Dr- Geri Puleo also touched this particular aspect too and I agree with her.
      For example I went to study Psychology not because of the money or pressure, not because I could not have gone elsewhere but simply because that is the sort of thing I enjoy doing in my personal life and professionally too. Analyzing, helping people etc. I am not concerned to become a corporate leader but I think that many have this sense of extreme pressure to perform as an idolized ideal without actually asking themselves what is enough for them to life a satisfied life.
      Also, thank you for apologizing. It really reflects your character well as a mature responsible human being that you are. =)

    • @Jenkkimie
      @Jenkkimie 8 лет назад

      ***** Have you been diagnosed with depression? Because what I can read from your text, it might be that the reason why you feel that it is hard for you to pick up the pieces might be that you have depression as a follow up symptom from the utter burnout that you experienced and all the luggage that comes along with it.
      In any case, I appreciate you telling me this and talking about these issues to someone really helps. Trust me on that. I wish you all the best and keep of fighting warrior spirit. You'l make it.

  • @erikas.puckett3836
    @erikas.puckett3836 4 года назад +603

    I've actually found, as someone who has suffered with chronic anxiety, that when I purposefully tried to view my bodies anxious response/symptoms just as excitement or something else POSITIVE, it has helped! Super important topic!!!

    • @user-vy8gd3on4f
      @user-vy8gd3on4f 2 года назад +6

      Great l felt like you and when I thinking all bad something happen to me has a good side to my life I really feel better and that make me more happier and healthier
      I hope to you good health

    • @MrDawnkeeballs
      @MrDawnkeeballs 2 года назад +5

      I so glad I found this video and I hope this helps me in the long runs cause I rlly want to turn my life around and the only thing holding me back is my anxiety and fear of stress. Best wishes!

    • @mawas6801
      @mawas6801 2 года назад

      Can u elaborate

    • @mirarose2670
      @mirarose2670 2 года назад +1

      I have a friend who is a doctor, has a very interesting theory that anxiety/ADD/ADHD are not "disorders" but rather, left over evolutionary traits that don't quite fit into our modern world. Think about it - thousands of years ago, the people who survived were the people constantly on the lookout for danger. It was a positive trait way back then! Not sure if I fully agree with this theory, but it DOES make quite a bit of sense to me.

    • @jonathanavery9496
      @jonathanavery9496 Год назад

      I agree - I've been trying this recently and it works. Sometimes we even misinterpret anxiety as negative when it could be something happy or exciting.

  • @Encaris
    @Encaris 2 года назад +13

    I have been in a content state of debilitation anxiety for almost 2 months. This video has been a huge help. Thank you so much.

  • @zeaadlair6433
    @zeaadlair6433 2 года назад +16

    "and yes, your pounding physical heart, working so hard to give you strength and energy."
    idk why but that line hits me hard. it feels like my body already give their best, their support to me, so i must be so thankful for them.

  • @kittkattism
    @kittkattism 9 лет назад +51

    This is why when I am stressed about my financial situation, I volunteer at a animal shelter or rescue organization. I can't describe the joy I feel helping homeless animals get better, and getting them one step closer to a forever home. Volunteering doesn't change my financial situation, it improves my happiness, and ultimately my life.

    • @baohoang5157
      @baohoang5157 5 лет назад +3

      But that kind of you are trying to avoid your problem, at the end of the day, you still have to solve your own problem, right?

    • @davidcao997
      @davidcao997 5 лет назад +2

      @@baohoang5157 what matter is it's easier for you to get things done when you're in a good mood, right?

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 года назад

      Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏

  • @cascafdasca6379
    @cascafdasca6379 10 лет назад +34

    Now I know why I grew as an anxious child, because people kept judging me and I didn't rise against my shyness. My life style was pretty lonely too and now that I think about it I was always happier and felt better when hanging around people who accepted me.

    • @cascafdasca6379
      @cascafdasca6379 9 лет назад

      People kept on calling me a certain thing throughout my whole life in a shocking manner as if it was a problem; I took it negatively. Even relatives and people that saw me for the first time. At the time I had trouble dealing with the fact that I constantly had to here people say it to me. It was unfortunate that I couldn't see what people said to me as an illusion and I can say that it was my fault for caring what people thought of me at the time. I sometimes didn't do certain things because I didn't want to here people say that certain thing to me.

    • @minggao9555
      @minggao9555 6 лет назад

      I have the same feeling. How can we change this?

  • @fanawane6650
    @fanawane6650 9 месяцев назад +4

    Without fail, I come back to this video every year, and it never fails to be the most profound and life-altering video I have ever come across on the internet.

  • @loisbeard8536
    @loisbeard8536 2 года назад +32

    This is so relevant. Honestly I agree with her that stress prepares ourselves for life challenges. I have prepared and taken exams under moderate-stress conditions and the outcomes have been pretty good. Stress indeed prepares us for challenges- make us more focused and more productive!

  • @luckyme100178
    @luckyme100178 7 лет назад +59

    "this is my body helping me rise over this challenge"

  • @okk2776
    @okk2776 3 года назад +83

    I love how the audience laugh out of stress as she talks about deaths

  • @kanha_._devotee
    @kanha_._devotee 4 месяца назад +4

    Watching today❤
    2/12/2023

  • @brodyrohloff2998
    @brodyrohloff2998 Год назад +10

    This is an amazing video, I watched it for my psychology class and this framing of stress brought a lot of hope to my future, I hope more people can find this video because I doubt there is anyone, anywhere, that couldn't benefit from this message

  • @NguyenTrinh-ni6mi
    @NguyenTrinh-ni6mi 4 года назад +587

    I love the way we look at the negative things positively. Sometimes, we can not change the situation but we can change our mindset to handle problems well by trying to understand them, approaching them positively, and adjusting our attitude. ❤️👍🏻

  • @avivahanaizdihara9428
    @avivahanaizdihara9428 4 года назад +267

    “how you think and how you act can change your experience of stress. ”
    ›choose to view your stress response (heart pounding, palm sweaty, etc) as helpful, it'll bring joy and courage into your life.
    ›choose to connect with others under stress, you can create resilience.
    Literally the whole point is CHANGING OUR VIEW about our stress response, and BUILDING CONNECTION with someone during stress moment, to be happier and healthier also live longer.
    Good luck everyone!

  • @farooqahmad1789
    @farooqahmad1789 2 года назад +27

    I am just wowed right now
    The way she explained with the help of researches and makes you believe that yes it isn't that bad to be stressful, I just love it ❤

  • @hannanatalisa3282
    @hannanatalisa3282 2 года назад +6

    The last minute is gold ❤️. Now I understand why even in a stressful condition I'm still calm and happy inside. I have a meaningful life, in a place where my calling is ❤️

  • @LJY08
    @LJY08 9 лет назад +111

    My only concern with studies like this is that people can use them to put more pressure on people. Companies can start putting more pressure on people to deliver then tell them that stress is all in their mind. We have to be very careful about how we handle information like this.

    • @Faithful.adanna
      @Faithful.adanna 5 лет назад +4

      wow never thought of it like that

    • @AlekNik1994
      @AlekNik1994 5 лет назад

      Exactly my thoughts !!!

    • @hakf8
      @hakf8 5 лет назад +24

      This was the comment i was looking for. That's really a danger of this way of thinking, if it gets too popular, even though her points can be very helpful for individuals like us. It's kinda like the way many managers of companies use meditation/mindfulness - when their employees get stressed, they say "I got you this mindfulness course for free, now follow that and you'll get better", and then you have no excuse. An important aspect of meditation is that it's not supposed to have a purpose, you meditate to meditate, not to do a better job at your workplace. You can't relax with that pressure. In the same way, what Kelly McGonigal says should be used for your own benefit, not for the boss to make employees perform better.

    • @DrHussainQasem
      @DrHussainQasem 5 лет назад +1

      Good point but thankfully there are other mechanisms to counter this like civil/employee rights org. It will be easy to establish cases against companies if they go over what accepted human performance can handle. But you are right it could be sort of a grey area!

    • @babyboy1971
      @babyboy1971 4 года назад

      LJY08 I like Kelly McGonigal and I agree with what she says for the most part, but I agree with this completely. I think this is a tenuous tightrope to walk.

  • @ThaigamerMidas
    @ThaigamerMidas 4 года назад +471

    Even though this talk is 6 years old already, I felt that it is still a useful talk. I am the guy who have an experience with stress issue. But after listen to this talk, it totally change my way of thinking. :)

    • @LolitaLavietha
      @LolitaLavietha 4 года назад +8

      This explains to me why now they said "Do one thing every day that scares you."

    • @prestontownsend862
      @prestontownsend862 3 года назад +4

      "Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties." MATTHEW 6:34. www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&issue=2020-03&pub=g20&srcid=share

    • @luckywoo7605
      @luckywoo7605 3 года назад

      Good ! I also just found & watched this video :)

    • @Damaskox
      @Damaskox 3 года назад +2

      It does not matter, how aged the talk is, when it is about human biology, which won't change that much in vast lengths of time.

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 года назад +1

      Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏

  • @nelsonrpereira5613
    @nelsonrpereira5613 2 года назад +8

    Sensacional explicação!!!
    Aprendendo Sempre.
    Melhorei aprendendo a respiração p/ acalmar!!!
    🙏 Gratidão!!!🙏

  • @esobeljaen1748
    @esobeljaen1748 2 года назад +1

    I tried your advice on "conditioning" myself before a very stressful strategic huddle... And it worked! Now stress is my friend. 🤗

  • @chegadesuade
    @chegadesuade 10 лет назад +56

    Definitely one of the most helpful TED talks I've ever seen, bravo!

  • @YasmineMadkour
    @YasmineMadkour 10 лет назад +31

    This video may have changed my life from this moment!

  • @amandarandomtube4793
    @amandarandomtube4793 2 года назад +12

    Her incredibly quick answer to the question at the end was great. I'm definitely glad I watched this one 🤗

  • @milawka375
    @milawka375 3 года назад +5

    Thank you so much for the talk! I really thought that the stress - is enemy, but now I will try to change my attitude. I needed this words, I needed an advice to how handle stress and looks like I got it!

  • @NickTV12
    @NickTV12 4 года назад +35

    The guy with the standing ovation in the front row at the end clearly fell in love with this woman

  • @user-du6bs4xp9y
    @user-du6bs4xp9y 4 года назад +118

    I love the conclusion! I had the most terrible time in my life last year. But i had a plenty of family and friends’ support. I also volunteered myself for helping the disabled. I got over very well and faster than i imagined.

  • @wangkarry8731
    @wangkarry8731 2 года назад +22

    What a dynamic speaker! You actually changed my mind about stress which I used to consider a negative aspect of my life. The point here is how we think about something can change the whole situation.

  • @mjmallari3856
    @mjmallari3856 3 года назад +3

    Brilliant idea and delivery, Kelly! Great question, too. Thank you so much.

  • @sebelasips8694
    @sebelasips8694 4 года назад +111

    THIS IS THE BEST TED TALK EVER

    • @shiwangkumarsingh6584
      @shiwangkumarsingh6584 3 года назад +3

      True

    • @ethanbechtold3177
      @ethanbechtold3177 3 года назад

      Looks like somebody hasn't seen "2070 Paradigm Shift"

    • @articlehk
      @articlehk 3 года назад

      The former comment to this video is a Indian man, who can concentrate on watching the whole film, I believe the next commenter is a woman, who can distract herself and in another direction saying good at multicast instead.

  • @SpecificLove7
    @SpecificLove7 10 лет назад +152

    Awesome information. This goes along with those who find the good in everything seem to live longer.

  • @yoda9299
    @yoda9299 3 года назад +14

    I was searching for how to make your friend stressed and this was at the top

  • @shubhamkothari2709
    @shubhamkothari2709 3 года назад +3

    Wow! Such simple and wonderful talk. This will help so many people. Thank you Kelly!!

  • @marilynbarker8255
    @marilynbarker8255 4 года назад +146

    One of the best Ted talks that I’ve heard! Very informative....thank you!!

    • @vesnadjordjevic28
      @vesnadjordjevic28 4 года назад +4

      I've known that long time..but not every person can do it,its like working 24/7 under pressure.. body must have some relaxation, and only relaxation that can have is inside the mind..punching a bag will help short time, for long time only strong minded personalities can bare it.

  • @jofriedman4528
    @jofriedman4528 4 года назад +13

    "Caring created resilience." What a powerful connection.

  • @dancreivean2489
    @dancreivean2489 3 года назад +1

    It make a lot of sense. Studies show that for parents who raise children with disabilities is easier to move on if they have self compassion. This is probably the keyword in accepting the stress and make it beneficial: self compassion. Very nice clip... thank you!

  • @pretzel477
    @pretzel477 Год назад +1

    this was very moving & it actually made me cry :,)) I have been really struggling with stress recently and this was just what I needed to hear!

  • @KuangYuCheng
    @KuangYuCheng 5 лет назад +91

    I totally agree with what you said and I have practiced the same strategies for the past 20 years. The outcomes have been stunning and I would like to share this to as many people as I can.

  • @wreckdproject
    @wreckdproject 4 года назад +34

    " Go after what it is that gives you meaning in life, and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows"

  • @GailanMAzeez
    @GailanMAzeez Месяц назад +2

    This talk changed my entire perspective on how we deal with stress. I just learned that we can be better at handling stress by not feeling stressed about being stressed.

  • @beldonhuang
    @beldonhuang Год назад +4

    Stress, although for many of us is horrible and terrifying, there are measures that we can take to ease the unpleasant feeling of ‘stress’, and turn it from something that may potentially kill us, into something that strengthens us and binds us together.

  • @HDloly
    @HDloly 3 года назад +16

    "Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows." I'm living by this intuitively, but I still don't think we need a society loaded with stressors. Thanks for the insights.

  • @nguyenngoctramanh9228
    @nguyenngoctramanh9228 4 года назад +37

    I have never seen any TEDtalk helpful as this talk. Appreciate that alot! It helped me to change my perspective about stress. Thank you very much.

    • @rogerraybird1342
      @rogerraybird1342 3 года назад +1

      We need to test our own perspectives and tactics to live better on purpose and with purpose. Not one-size fits all approach because of the foundation we begin with. Much success wishes for you. 🙏

  • @standardace8355
    @standardace8355 2 года назад +10

    Honestly I don't believe this as much as I did 3 years ago. I lost all my meaning and purpose in life, so being stressed out made me suffered. This only works when you have a clear goal and purpose. I used to be like this, my goal in school was to be the top students and get good grades, so this let me step on stress and achieve stuff.
    After swimming in the dreadful world of work, I lost all meanings, my goals and my dreams.

    • @purplerainbow1995
      @purplerainbow1995 17 дней назад

      Imagine how you'd feel in your body if you had meaning, purpose, dreams, and goals shining in your being? Stay there.

  • @Suzalesca
    @Suzalesca 2 года назад

    She just explained feelings I’ve felt my whole life, but not sure why they worked or helped. Wow.

  • @jens8439
    @jens8439 5 лет назад +36

    She ended it so well when answering that question!

  • @Prodigious1One
    @Prodigious1One 9 лет назад +10

    I definitely go for that... chase what will give meaning to your life instead of avoiding stressful situations.

  • @arterialclock1
    @arterialclock1 2 года назад +2

    The way dat her speaks...
    ..makes me feel inspire

  • @bisitare
    @bisitare Год назад

    Thank you for talking. I listened this talking while I am feeling so stressful, and this video makes me hopeful about my life and bad events.

  • @DeniseWakeman
    @DeniseWakeman 10 лет назад +137

    "Go after what is creating meaning in your life, and then trust yourself to handle what follows." ~Kelly McGonigal
    h/t Stephan Hovnanian for encouragement to watch the video
    #tedtalk #stress #stressmanagement

    • @serbanchinole
      @serbanchinole 10 лет назад +2

      she will be keynote in Malmo ICF Global Conference, September 18-20

    • @CydRust
      @CydRust 10 лет назад +14

      I love TED talks! This was excellent.

    • @alsafialsafi9824
      @alsafialsafi9824 7 лет назад

      Cyd Rust hi

  • @JeannieB333
    @JeannieB333 3 года назад +18

    I found this TED Talk 7 years later, but I'm very grateful I did. This perspective will shape how I live for the rest of my life. Thank you Kelly for a super profound and well delivered Ted Talk; and here's to your stress!

  • @theKRAMNELLAo7o7
    @theKRAMNELLAo7o7 9 месяцев назад +3

    Your heart is not racing from fear, but from anticipation. It is dancing in excitement. Your heart is telling you, "let's go!"

  • @kf4547
    @kf4547 2 года назад

    Great words! thanks! I feel that acceptance of our reactions to stress as a defender is a right way to live

  • @GoJBC
    @GoJBC 4 года назад +37

    It sounds like to turn the STRESS to an ADRENALINE! Very refreshing! Love it!

  • @jay_leighmusic
    @jay_leighmusic 4 года назад +91

    I love Ted talks they are so thought provoking and inspiring, they make you really question what is possible 💭

  • @cynthiahorton917
    @cynthiahorton917 Год назад +3

    Great video! " Caring creates resilience " and the impact to the bodies stress response was eye opening!

  • @amitpreborcohen1506
    @amitpreborcohen1506 2 года назад

    This talk changed my life. Thank you so much!!!

  • @NgocBich-zy8cz
    @NgocBich-zy8cz 4 года назад +166

    "When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage" 💪

  • @Dan0101010101010
    @Dan0101010101010 8 лет назад +13

    Its acceptance = less stress, so not resisting it means theres less persistence and you are more healthy.
    So shes been right all along, but teaching in a way that promotes resistance.
    Solution: meditate.

  • @angelinebena9675
    @angelinebena9675 2 года назад +2

    I’m starting to love all these Ted talks. Very informative

  • @raymondlai5
    @raymondlai5 8 лет назад +89

    Thanks, TED for a great talk by Kelly McGonigal. Very profound, educational and useful for all of us. Thanks again, TED Talks =).

  • @tammymc8018
    @tammymc8018 4 года назад +20

    We saw this at school today and it completely changed my view on stress. This is a really good Ted talk.

    • @katenka_ana3997
      @katenka_ana3997 4 года назад

      Stardust Gacha I wish we would’ve watched this at school. This is completely life changing, but hey, at least I’ve been taught how to interpret a poem from 300 years ago :D

  • @kidkenosha2790
    @kidkenosha2790 2 года назад

    My son shared this with me and I am very grateful.

  • @ItookapillinIbz
    @ItookapillinIbz Год назад +1

    Her book completely saved my life.
    I had been bullied by my boss for years. I was stressed out but her book gave me a different view of stress . I understood it gave me energy then I took action. I successfully expelled my boss to the other brunch.

  • @Kesehariandalamrumahtangga
    @Kesehariandalamrumahtangga 4 года назад +20

    she look so young. I thought she was about 30. I think her stress management work really well

  • @--petc333
    @--petc333 3 года назад +49

    As an experience of my life, I have always felt that working in creative environments creates better works in a stressful environment.
    I'm sure it was my own way of treating stress, but the story of this woman made me think more about it. Great.

  • @trunghvbk
    @trunghvbk 10 месяцев назад

    yeah it changed my mind about my stress. Thank you Kelly. Appreciate it!

  • @cd6693
    @cd6693 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for the speech! It is really practical and eye-opening!

  • @lenagrazhdan27
    @lenagrazhdan27 5 лет назад +5

    Gosh,i feel like this is already saving my stressed life! His talk will be my prayer,like,really

  • @Vijayadialani
    @Vijayadialani 3 года назад +22

    I am so glad I watched this video. It's been long I have tried to convince my family, who doesn't really want me to get stressed about my career, that stress is healthy, but they hardly believed in me. Thanks a ton for this video. Would love to read, listen or watch more of something like this.

  • @suwarno-8422
    @suwarno-8422 Год назад

    This video is of great interest to watch because it contains information that is of great value to all of us, and it deals with stress, stress mechanisms, and stress impacts. One sentence that got me thinking was "it's not stress that makes us sick, but the belief that stress makes us sick." It makes me think that our belief in something so negative can have a negative effect on us. In the video it also discusses that it is most easy to manage stress with social activities, even research shows that when helping people who are under stress, the hormone of happiness in a person increases significantly. In this I assume that "the helper of the depressed is himself and another stressed person."

  • @kowshik03
    @kowshik03 2 года назад +2

    That's a whole new perspective about Stress . Great advice. Thank you so much for the valuable advice.

  • @generalgeo9468
    @generalgeo9468 7 лет назад +5

    This talk has suddenly changed my life! Thanks to TED and Kelly McGonigal for this amazing gift!

  • @humanyoda
    @humanyoda 8 лет назад +13

    When talking about harmful effects of stress, it's important to realize that it is the *physiological response* of an organism that matters, not some description of an event. Kelly suggested a method for reducing that response. This doesn't contradict the idea that too much of stress (chronic stress, most of all) is harmful.

  • @geoffreygroom2436
    @geoffreygroom2436 Год назад

    a beautiful and meaningful exposition on a subject that really is life enhancing and life changing. Thank you so much Kelly McGonigal.

  • @NguyenQuangHungKaliXyanua
    @NguyenQuangHungKaliXyanua 3 года назад

    Thank you so much for your presentation. It is the thing that I need the most this time to help me bounce back. Thank you again.

  • @Robloxman226
    @Robloxman226 9 лет назад +157

    Okay. Let's differentiate here between new-age fluff and actual legitimate science.
    *positive-thinking mantra*:
    -I can do anything if I just visualize it, even if I don't work to it much.
    -My thoughts directly impact the world.
    -I can change *other things* directly and objectively through my perception.
    *Actual, productive thinking*:
    -I will only accomplish as much as I am willing to work for it.
    -My thoughts impact my perspective of the world. The chips sometimes aren't in my favor. My thoughts don't change that--they just let me play another hand.
    -I can change myself, and thus the world, through my perception of it. When life gives me lemons, I'll give people lemonade.
    So, no, for all of those super-cynics who tout their pessimism like a trophy glorifying their oh-so 'contrarian' viewpoint: this video is not suggesting that you should act like your stress doesn't exist. What she's saying is that we should make the best of it by seeing it as a way to grow. No, not the "If I just visualize stress being gone, I'll be happy!" lifestyle. More like, "This is what it is. Here's what I think of it --that's better. Now I'll make it into something admirable."

    • @irascendedkitten7450
      @irascendedkitten7450 6 лет назад +7

      The Ethannator positive thinking is good a lot of times but not always. Sometimes stress is not preparation but a warning or has no clear valid reason. Also assuming correlation = causation in an uncontrolled study is junk science.

    • @tima1443
      @tima1443 5 лет назад

      @@irascendedkitten7450 This is what I thought. I am so stressed at this one job I'm at, currently in training, I dont think it's right for me, but the pay is well. Here I am stuck between, change your way of thinking and maybe you'll do better at the job,thus, succeeding finally? Or it's a sign of, let go of the job and look elsewhere because it has come to the point of getting in the way of my mood and happiness. Sooo at this point, I am uncertain whether I should keep on 'not giving up' or taking care of my wellbeing ?

    • @Growing513
      @Growing513 5 лет назад +1

      Just meditate ,that's all ego crap.stress desolves when you meditate.simple but people don't do it, so live in stress and find Technics is not my solution.
      O