When a human says Whoops | HFY | A short Sci-Fi Story
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- Опубликовано: 28 авг 2024
- Short but sweet!
This story was granted permission to narrate and add to RUclips by the Author: u/Curious_Cake9822
Story Link: / when_a_human_says_whoops
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#scifi #hfy #scifistories1977
This guy has yet to experience a human say "Oh, sh***t".
he probably wont live to tell in that case.
...or a sharp "cr@p!"
@ameliazM yes, seemingly zero of the "Oh, sh***t" moments have survived. ;)
@@No_Way_NO_WAY For sure, because "whoops" is for the silence afterwards, "Oh, sh***t" for the moment, before the end of existence.
🤣 Oh, I feel that!
"Whoops" means something unexpectedly bad happened, but you are allowed the grace to be alive to say it.
"Uh oh" means something bad is about to happen. You may not be getting a whoops.
"Oh shit...." Means you have approximately 0.1 seconds to kiss your ass goodbye.
"Oh Sh1t" means brace for impact
just like being in a helicopter and saying what's this lever do? and grabbing it before the pilot has a chance to react.
Or th worst of all "ah fu-"
@@Samagryn sometimes they only get to hear "Oh shi-"
Maxim 2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.
Maxim 3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks _everybody._
"You know, I've learned that if everyone else is running in the same direction, they probably have more up to date information than me and I should follow them..."
Given the scenarios in the video I'd say maxims 14 and 24 are also relevant.
Maxim 14: "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?"
Maxim 24: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun.
maxim 5 might also be fitting here:
Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart
and number 10:
Sometimes the only way out is through. . . through the hul
in the case of the railgun i forgot about maxim 25:
If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturers warranty, you didn't do enough damage.
Amended: If a manufacturer's warranty covers the damage you did, you didn't do enough damage
What is this from?
“…and split it in fucking half!”
When the narrator is serious 95% of the time little moments like that are epic.
just wondering, was the name of that human, by any chance, have been muhamad?
😂😂@@eyallev
"*That* is why Isaac Newton is the deadliest sonofabitch in space!"
This is so very true. In the US Army, whenever an experienced or senior soldier says "whoops", run.
Same in the US Navy. Officers learned to be afraid when a senior sailor says oops.
@@Echowhiskeyone The 4 most terrifying things you can hear in the Army:
When a Sergeant says "Trust me Sir"
When anyone in munitions says "Whoops"
When any soldier says "We'll make it work"
and When a Warrant Officer says "Check this shit out"
@@ExistntlangstWhen a new Private says, “I learned this in basic training.”
I remember hearing a guy say whoops once and a car was evacuated in record time. The 5 people in it went upwind of the car and 4 of them were asking the fifth what crawled up in him and died.
@@pauldavis9387 this is bad, but you can usually mitigate it through careful application of "wall to wall counseling"
I've noticed the severity of the screw up is usually inversely proportional to the volume, the quieter the "oops" the more distance you want to put between yourself and the culprit.
the nears whispered "aaaah fuck" is another good sign.
You are double fucked if the angry hothead supervisor starts speaking calmly.
Oh, that is so true! We need a videogame or story character who is mostly made of whoops, f, of sh! with occasional successes to throw everyone off enough to almost trust them. 🤩
It's like a fart, silent but deadly, loud and messy ;P
And if it's a really exceptionally bad one it's followed by "a daisies"
At the End: "And, that is the reason why I make always sure to have at least one human on board of my ship!" That cracked me up!!!🤣
we are the canary in the coal mine
I had to rewind a few seconds to make sure I heard right. 😅
If you know they can and will kill things...you let them do whatever they can think of when you are sure the alternative is death anyway.
"Preferably no more than one human."
His co-workers are totally gonna prank him everytime he gets a new human co-worker
"Ah, hey, we, ah... might have an issue" is another good one.
Translation: we have an issue and it's really bad, but I don't have enough info to make a proper report - and/or I'm still trying to figure out what to do about it.
@@sethb3090 but there is a really high probability that anyone not me should not be in the immediate area for an undetermined amount of time...
@@Beth_OMette nah, if "we" have an issue, it's a fix it or die situation, there's not really any other way to unhave said issue
And "uh oh"? If your planet still has gods, pray.
Houston, we have a problem.
It's either "whoops, I dropped my glass of milk" or "whoops, I've doomed us all", there is no in between.
Depending on what you dropped the milk on, it may actually be both at once.
@@Bubbajones213 turns out that eating milk and cookies over the warp reactor has some... _interesting_ consequences.
Whoops, I just scattered a bucket of legos across the hall without a light.
Whoops, I just split a few pieces of atoms in half. 😅
@@ElFeN69WoLf Compared to that, splitting a moon is nothing.
I once had a doctor cutting a cyst out of me say "whoops." Then he said not to worry about it. Ten years later, nothing has come of it, and I still worry. I sometimes hear that "whoops" in my nightmares.
I 100% believe you.
He cut out the part that let's you age at a normal rate... Results may vary.
mistakes in surgery happen more often then you may think, its possible he just accidently cut somewhere that caused unintended bleeding, but it was just somewhere benign so it healed up fine.
I bet, the last sound before the universe is destroyed, is a human saying "Whoops".
Or " I wonder what happens if "
Proceeded by a scene with a console with a large red button and a sign "DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON!!"
Nope. Its going to be "Hold my beer"
"Oops" is an ancient magical incantation that bends the laws of probability towards definable outcomes....all of them bad.
often preceded by "what could go wrong?"
@@joeholm4591 Which itself has its own modifier, "Don't say thaaaat!", which has 50-50 odds of either mitigating or _magnifying_ the original effect.
Ohhhh! The other word that is associated.. Dad's older brother and a friend in the 1920s ( different times ) went to the Drug store (Pharmacy) and bought Glycerin, then to the Hardware Store and bought concentrated Nitric Acid and concentrated Sulphuric Acid. They brewed up 1/2 ounce of Nitroglycerin..........
This was taken to a nearby dairy farm pasture. Tied the small bottle to a 3 foot high bush . Then from a guesstimated SAFE DISTANCE it was shot at with a .22 caliber rifle........ The Bush Disappeared leaving a 2 inch stump in the ground. OHHH!!! Realization that if they had dropped it in the basement --- it would have 1-- splattered them on the basement walls and 2 lifted probably shattered the 2 floor house and dropped the wreckage into the basement!!!
This ??? Idea probably came from the fact that some other young chaps had gone to the butchers shop and collected -- blood --- guts --- and bones the to the Hardware store for Dynamite...... The set this mix off in the nearby Woods...It resulted in a Police investigation that brought in a coroner who finally realized the ""Bits and Blood were not human....😅😅😅
I think they should have added: "When a human swears and complains loudly about a machine, everything is fine. But the moment he says whoops you better get away from that!"
Maxim 14
'Mad Science' means never stopping to ask 'What's the worst thing that could happen?'
Why bother? You will find out soon enough anyway.
Insane science is to ask HOW can the worst possible thing happen? :P
calm down its only 3 nukes
@@user-xc9tt9xh5ccalm down, it's only Two nukes, each of which split into 6 more.
In science there are three important words. Excellent, odd and whoops. The first means everything went perfectly to plan. The second means that you’ve just come across something that shouldn’t happen under your current understanding of science. The third is that you just had something go significantly wrong and you didn’t plan for it. Odd things are the most interesting things because you learn something new. Whoops means that you’ve now got to sort out the problems that you have created.
A friend of mine and I were drinking a bit and I were fiddling around with the circuitry of an old dvd player I had lying around.
It was some minor repair anyone could fix.
I accidentally removed the solder on a part I didn't mean to, and of course said "whoops".
My friend went white in the face and almost ducked away from what he was doing just a meter or so away.
When I asked what was the matter with him he answered; "Normally that word if fine, but when YOU say it, I tend to panic."
He didn't want to go any deeper into it than that, so I'm still left wondering which time I said whoops that had mentally scarred him that way.
That had me laughing for a solid five minutes! I cried, I was laughing so hard!
Whoops is when we wish we had a quick save 3 seconds before.
The usual carnage makes us appreciate that little bit of '3-second quick save' every once in awhile a bit more. Lol
A great story written with terrific humor. What is even funnier is that I can actually see something like this happeing.
Literally opens a portal to an eldritch realm. "Whoops"
Holy shit I bursted in laughter with the warp drive one! 😆
yeah only needed a japanese magical girl and you'd have a live action :D
Whoops indeed.
This is basically half of all humans in Star Trek. I could see a Vulcan relaying this story. Maybe a bit less emotional but no less traumatized at the thought of a human saying "Whoops".
Star Trek Enteprise TV show, season 1, episode 12. "phase cannons test".
@@lazygamerz Also that one time they tested an upgraded torpedo and it decided to return to sender.
My thoughts exactly
What about being so traumatized that he starts feeling emotions out of fear as a defense mechanism against that type of shit again.
I feel like you would love the Humans are Space Orcs stories
The guy who refilled the gas tanks where I worked at used to tell me that if I ever saw him running, I should run in the opposite direction. I told him that I would play it safe and run perpendicular to whichever direction he was running, in case he was running away from what he considered to be a _lost cause._
"Hold my beer." Is also one of those problematic problematic phrases you should watch out for.
I like that .. shot through the shields, throught the pirate vessel, and split a moon in half .. melted have the weapons bay ... and half killed the builder. They sounds more like an Ooops rather than Whoops to me.
"Damn thing worked.."
"...this thing needs some calibration."
@@brandonquist8394 Oh yeah .. his plans called for destroying the moon. Yeah something is not set quite right as it was only at 1/2 power.
@@walterengler5709 Of course it was only at 1/2 power... the other half went into him.
The Australian version is " Bugger " . That Railgun sounds Promising . Just needs the Bugs worked out..........................
yeah it only split the moon in half it didn't vaporise it
Other equivalents include "ahshit", "darn", and "uh-oh"
A minor calibration error.
It worked perfectly, they just need a more durable launch platform.
@@AnimeSunglasses" My bad"
This is too damn accurate.
Every damn time I hear 'whoops', 'oops', or shit', something is gonna break, explode, and or die (Opfor practice)
Brings to mind, “EOD Technician. If you see me running, catch up.”
EOD here, we don't run we fly :D
What’s EOD?
@@lukrezialaval2406 explosive and ordnance technician
@@lukrezialaval2406Explosive Ordinance Disposal aka the bomb squad. Aka the poor bastards that volunteer to stand next to a bomb they *know* was placed by someone who wants them dead and try to turn it off anyway.
Maxim 3 - An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.
The more safety measures a human decides to implement, the less safe you are.
seat belt, roll cage, crumple zone, air bags and all sorts of assists to controll the vehicle. In short, you're not safe while driving.
The next worse thing is when anyone says:
"Uh oh..."
It's more or less carry the same meaning - maybe with a hint of uncertainty, so a tiny bit less catastrophic, but still can be very deadly.
Or "hmm, didn't expect that". Or "oh, thats new" and my particular favorite, "this should be fun"
"Oh shit!": Allow me to introduce myself
@@Senok13 I would think the "hint of uncertainty" would actually make it worse tbh... ESPECIALLY coupled with:
😬😅👀
The trouble will be inversely proportional to the volume of the phrase
If you see a human running TOWARDS something run the other way . If you see a human running AWAY from something try to keep up .
And if you hear "ahhh shit..." it's already too late to run.
That last sentence, pure gold.
gotta have at least one who REALLY thinks outside the box
'Whoops' is usually reserved for after the event in question, so you're at least somewhat safe. If someone goes 'uh oh', 'shit' (severity dependent the numer and speed of it's repetition) or 'nonononono,' something has gone wrong, with the odds of preventing disaster diminishing for each one...
Whoops is usually followed by an after action assessment of "well... there's your problem, right there."
Ah yes, the word that either invokes Murphy's Law or is spoken as a response to it.
As a retired maintenance engineer I can relate to this although just used to say oops 😊
got in a bit of "percussive maintenance" too I bet.
"What's that captain? We need a Whoopsie maneuver? Time to Full Send it, boys!"
This was GREAT! 🤣🤣🤣 The last sentence cracked me up.
Yup, "have at least one human on my crew..." 😅😅
@@Kaliburz
" - About the last war, general, would you mind telling us, how were you able to tell the right time to retreat, before the star became a black hole, turning the entire battle zone into an inescapable death trap? Both armada was completely wiped out, with the exception of your unit!
- It was surprisingly easy, Sir, as i had a human soldier at the radar station. When i heard, he whispered the word "whoops", just before reporting some increased activites from the said star, i gave the order of immediate retreat, and also send the same advice to all other unit's leaders. Sadly, they didn't listened..."
Woops is our acknowledgment of a mistake and also to cope with a major mistake with an unintentional outcome, sometimes a near death experience.
_Whoops_ means it was inconsequential, or that it was so consequential it doesn't matter what word you use, they'll all be insufficient.
I love these things... I just stumble on them occasionally and they make me giggle and laugh as it paints humans as complete nutjobs of accidental genius from the viewpoint of a more reserved species.
As a maintenance engineer this makes me chuckle as it rings so true. We also have a saying that if we haven’t made things any worse it’s a success.
So failing successfully?
Judging by warp core incident sounds like these stories are coming from 40k universe, whoops
"Oh, shit!"
"Ah, shit!"
Same vibes.
no no no ah shit is for somthing you can stil fix oh shit stands for run for your life
LMAO! Please give us more of these. I haven't laugh like this in a long while. I have worked with humans that have said "Whoops" a few times too. Thanks so much for the laugh!
WHOOPS, greatest line when you in the military. You know you f-ed up but somehow kinda worked it out safely.
Hilarious story thank you!
That one single word get everyones attention, immediately.
Well, buddy, that´s in the aftermath of things. Let me introduce you to the two syllables that can mean the next few seconds will be annoying, catastrophic or mean simply death. Here they are, and listen well, cause if you hear them, running is mostly futile:
"Uh-Oh!"
"Here goes nothing"
I played a bomb disarming game in the 80’s on an Atari 800. If you guessed the wrong code, you saw the nighttime outline of a city, and a single “oops” before the explosion leveled most of the city.
Haven't laughed this hard in a while.
You mihgt want to google "The United Federation of "hold my beer, I got this"", it is very much in the same line.
Or go to this Imgur: wpZ4w
Edit:
The author of THIS story actually posted in that thread. ^.^
love the sense of humour the computer had...have at least one human on board....
This has got to be one of the best laughets I've had all year.
Ok, that's it. The next time I'm having a bad day this thing is playing on a loop. I'm laughing so hard right now.
I love the fact humans are basically the equivalent of hyper-intelligent orcs in most of these stories 😂
and you assume we aren't?
I had to listen to this 3 times. The first time I didn't get all of if because I was laughing too hard. Just too good. 🤣
Wait til they learn about "Hold my beer"
I don't remember saying "Whoops", but I do remember saying, "I shouldn't have done that." It only involved injury to myself though. I still have the scars.
I did quite a few times. Once when i lost balance on a motorcycle, once when i dropped my son (best dad of the century, fortunately the kid was ok) and probably the biggest whoops i had when i unintentionally bricked automation process in my job, by assigning a product to a inactive zone on the completion station. There was no way to confirm or cancel it and once assigned it couldn't be reasaigned to a different station untill the process wasn't finished, so i was pissing my pants as technical staff was trying to unassign said product to unbrick the process. I thought i would be fired immediately.
Good one. Thanks‼️
My god! This is exactly why I fear the day humankind reaching level 1 on the Kardachev scale! Lmao
Laughed so hard I cried listening to this! 🤣
By far, the funniest story I’ve heard in a very long time.
You never know when you need something one someone to explode or die
So using the Hyper drive for popcorn is a Bad Idea Whoops!!!!!😖
@@CDWCAULDRON it all depends how tasty are those popcorn 🍿
@@lvluptoaverage52 Hyper drive popcorn with extra butter and sea salt , so worth it in the Life Pod..🤨 whoops i hit the homing beacon!
'Demon Core' popcorn is some of the tastiest, and it's really easy to find in the dark!
@@oldnick4707 Demon Core is radio active do not eat popcorn from this .
Hyper drive popcorn id Made Just out side the Drive unit, some times the Popcorn goes in to the field area and may disrupted the field. this can cause Power surges in the weapons pods or drive unit!
See document 1/1a 4c
there is another word that you need to keep an eye out for, and that is F.U.B.A.R. THAT is a bad one too, though that one generally comes AFTER whoops, SOMETIMES before, but generally after.
F.U.B.A.R is the result of a whoops...
OMG this was absolutely fantastic.
Do more of these please.
Thanks for the laugh. It was sorly needed . Have a great day.
Let me break it down for you. *Starts breakdancing*
This is by far the funniest shit i have ever heard. Learned that the hard way in the Coast Guard.
I love this stuff.
"Whoops" is my favourite word.
Funniest story I've run across in these SF story channels. Thanks!
Human: OH SHIT!
Aliens: I sleep
Human: ...whoops...
Aliens: RUN!
Why does is sound so true, and as a matter of fact...It's like I was there...
That is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life! I couldn't stop laughing. Great Story!!
I quite like the idea of humans becoming the 'mad apes' of the universe 😁
Nah we're just space orc's.....just saying......
Ahh fook, or gods forbid yeet yeet! Lmao the illusive "aint that a beech"
I just laughed so hard im crying... LMAO
This one was good. Hillarious too.
This is sooo true in my field of work too.
Although, we luckily can only make expensive damage.
Holy shit I’m still laughing my ass off. 🤣😂🤣
Only recently discovered your channel by accident and enjoying the content so far. But this one is comedy gold - more of the same please....
Oh gods, this had me crying I was laughing so hard.
In both examples the outcome benefited mankind. "Whoops" must be a word of celebration.
Thank you 💐🌺💐for all your effort & the time you put in when uploading this. It is really truly appreciated 🙏
I enjoyed this story immensely
So he wants a human on board in case things go FUBAR, then he can turn to the human and go:
"Hey, we need an 'Whoops' to get us out of this mess, please."
Its like a weaponized jar jar blinks...
@@CHRF-55457 Considering that Darth Sidious used him as the catalyst to give birth to the Empire... he was the only one smart enough to recognize that crazy gungan's potential.
This makes the IDK how many times I listen to this. It is still the funniest story yet 😂😂
Fear the one word a human can say "WHOOPS"😂😂😂😂
Translation of human phrasings.
"Ah shit" - Oh dear, I've made a small, humorous mistake that shall lead to little or no harm at all.
"Oh shit" - Everyody in the near vicinity are about to either meet their gods, or become them.
This is an alien's stand up routine.
whoops.
you Press the button or did I .. why do i taste green light ?
@@CDWCAULDRONgreen? I taste fuchsia?
@@thaphreak Whoops , I think we Crossed the Beams !🥺
This is the funniest thing I have heard. I haven’t laughed so hard .
I really enjoyed that little story. Thank you very much. Whoops
"Explode or die", "both!?". R.I.P. Norm Macdonald!!
They’re crazy man, be careful you don’t misstep around them, Otherwise something or someone will cease to exist.
That’s why I always keep one with me at all times
"Hey y'all.. watch this'' you're going to have a bad time.
😂😂😂😂😂 oh boy I'm laffin and farted WOOPS!! when a human says whoops!! Run I can't stop laffing
One of my favorite shirts I had as a teenager. "Bomb Squad- if you see me running try and keep up."
The last line got me thinking, like well we are basically death/disaster detectors.
More like disaster generators.
I heard zero untruths in this story. Well done.
I mean, "Whoops" is for AFTER the thing already happened, so you aren't getting a whoops unless you survived. "uh oh" is FAR more terrifying because that's BEFORE the event and you've got like 2 seconds to start running or put your head between your knees.
You can also replace "uh oh" with the worst words a human can utter in a life threatening situation. "Oh....shit" or "(pause)....fuck".
Ok 😅. Who didn't stop the engineering guys from opening a God damn portal for the Lovecraft abomination?!?
But it was 15% more efficient! 😅
I really love this concept of humanity being the McGyvers of the universe.
Oh my goodness this was great to listen to! Are there any stories regarding an alien's view on human comedy? I feel like that would be just as entertaining
love this story especially the end.
I think the only thing worse than whoops is "That wasn't supposed to happen"