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Prime Minister, Schools & Girls | Stand-Up Comedy by Mohd Suhel
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- Опубликовано: 13 ноя 2018
- Intro Music Credit: Silence Ft. Universe
I asked the universe for permission to use this song and a wind passed by so I said "I'll take that as a yes." and then another wind passed by so i took that as a yes too.
Upcoming Shows: linktr.ee/suhe...
For enquiries or bookings: suhelbaz@gmail.com
Shot at Canvas Laugh Club (1st November 2018)
Special Thanks - Christopher Baretto
"War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other."- Niko Bellic
Social Media Links:
Instagram: / suhelbaz
Facebook: / suhelbaz
Twitter: / suhelbaz
Screenplay:
[Scene 1]
So, I cannot become the Prime Minister because I’m scared of lizards. So, if I want to pee really badly at night and there’s a lizard in the bathroom, then I don’t go. I will hold my pee all night, but I won’t go. So that’s why I cannot become the Prime Minister. I’m so stupid, I’ve cut myself with a spoon while eating. Now if you’ll come to know all these things about your PM then would you be able to sleep at night? You’ll be like, “This fucker can’t handle a spoon how will he handle an entire nation?” “How will he save us from a nuclear war? This idiot fears lizards.” So, I don’t sit all day at home and wonder why I won’t be able to become the Prime Minister. This thought has been in my mind since my school time. Because, in school, they used to make us write an essay - If I were the PM… And my classmates would fill pages - (If I were the PM) I would build roads, schools. I’m like how many more schools will you build? They’ll also make kids write these stupid essays. I think this is a never-ending circle. But I would write only one line in those essays - I don’t want to be a PM. Then they would fail me.
[Scene 2A]
So, I was really awkward in school, so nobody would talk to me. But I had a friend in school and one day it was late, so I told her, “Call me when you get home” That girl never went home. You guys are laughing, she still hasn’t gone home. Now, I will tell you my best joke. That joke is so great, your minds would explode! So, buckle up! I’m telling you otherwise you’ll lose your brains. Because I’ve experienced this. My mind exploded when I thought of this joke. I had to explain it to my brain that, “you have thought of the joke. Please un-explode.” So, I thought of this joke when my mind had exploded, so this is a brainless joke. I’m just warning you, the joke can creep up from anywhere, any time so be ready. Now half of y’all are thinking, “Tell us the joke, dummy! We’ll decide if it’s great or not.” So, a crazy thing happened to me the other day, a girl was checking me out. The end.
[Scene 2B]
So, now a question bothers me these days, nowadays everyone’s been asking this. It’s ‘Where do you see yourself in 10 years?’ And I don’t know the answer to that. For example, the other day I went to a college to get admission and the principal asked me, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” And I’m like “Definitely not here.” I went to the bank and the bank manager asked me, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” and I’m like, “I don’t know” So then he got angry. He’s like, “Answer me or I wont open your account.” And I was like, “I didn’t even come to open a bank account, I came to use the washroom” and he was like, “Answer me or I won’t let you use the washroom also” So I asked him, “Why does everyone ask this question? What’s the point?” and he said “Look, you usually don’t know anything about the other person. But, when you ask this question, you get to know a lot about them.” And I was like, “Sounds good. Now let me use the washroom” But he didn’t let me use the washroom. So, I kicked him in the nuts and ran away! See, the problem with this joke is that I don’t have an ending to this joke. So, whenever I don’t have an ending to a joke, I just kick on the nuts and run away.
[Scene 3]
Okay, now I will tell y’all a good joke. I know I’m excessively thin but sometimes I forget. So, one day I got a message that someone needs A+ blood and my blood type is A+ so I went to donate blood. So, when I reached the hospital, the patient saw me and got angry. He said, “Do one thing, give me glucose, I’ll make my own blood.” I tried asking a girl out and it did not go well. But she was really nice she didn’t reject me directly. She said, “we don’t even know each other” and I said, “we can know each other” and she said, “How?” and I said, “Let me ask you a question, where do you see yourself in 10 years?” and then she said no. So, I asked her why. So, she said, “Look, I don’t go out with guys who do the same joke all the time” and then she kicked me in the balls!
The End.
Interruptions Translation: drive.google.c...
bro your jokes are good however your presence should always energize the room
Kabhi khud stage par gaya hai tu?
No...the lethargy....unenergetic....flat face is plus point
I wonder why you came here watch. Are you gay too?
@@RahulKumar-mr5lb beta woh keval appreciate kar Raha hai uske work tuu wahii chutiya hai Jo suhel se jaltaa hai .. bhakk
@Zee Lark It's called "Deadpan Humour" Google kar le gawar.
The captions have their own joke in themselves lol😂😂😂
😂😂
Whole different level
He: comment padhna bandh karo
Me: Sale ne kab dekha🤣
Antaryami he ye londa 😆😆
Aur meh usi woht yis comment padraha tah
🤣🤣🤣
Same here bro bc kha se dekh rha hai 😜😂😂
fun fact: All the laughs and claps are edited
this guy is more depressed than depression
Are Jesus aap v 🤣🤣
Just a teenager watching anime
Complete the sentence
Just a depressed teenager
1k th like
👁️
He seems like suicidal child but also procrastinator.
Mind explaining the meaning of that word Dr. Shashi Tharoor
😂😂😂😂😂
@@ridwan_z jo pese kmaane ke liye apne sharir ko bech de
Lekin Last me spelling mistake ho gyi ladki se
@@cineverse442 vai use prostitute kehte hai
Wtf is this thread?
This guy is really different from any other comedian 😂😂😂😂
fun fact: All the laughs and claps are edited
Sorry bro, won't like your comment as it is 666
@@toxin3066 that's so nice of u
Really
😀😀😀😀
English subtitles in the description. LIT subtitles in the video.
Instructions to watch the video:
Step 1: Watch the video
Step 2: Watch the video with subtitles on
Its '🔥' not 'LIT'
pls edit ur comment 🙏
@@ShivYadav-yn1fb soch agar deshwasio ko pata chala ki tune 'P' naam ka youtube playlist banaya hai to unhe kitna bura lagega
Bhai bas bich me awaz mat daala karo edit kar k starting ya last me bas thik hai bich me flow break hota hai toh maza ni aata.. Baki video was 😍
Yeh beech beech me kyu vol Raha tha bakchod lag Raha Hai video
@@naveenpandey3966 abe usne khud bola ki yeh tatti video hone wali hai agar nahi pasand aayi to mat dekh
I was waiting for the "thaaanks" till the end.. when he said 'bade badtameez ho yaar abhi tak yahi ho..' I am dead 😂😂🙏
This video literally made my day! What an underrated comedian mannn. Don't even remember when's the last time I laughed this much! Just got on your channel from Samay Raina's story and realized you post much shorter videos nowadays. NEED MORE OF YOUUU
Good name
Watch again and check capions 😅
Who hate that kind of voice over...🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣
fun fact: All the laughs and claps are edited
Last comment wala voice over was real for me
🤚
I also don't like it 😂😂😂 isse kahte hai achhe khase video ki g@@ñd marna
Mrko laga phone hack ho agya 😂
Put an ad in the middle but please dont edit like this 😴
He is smart like an idiot
Kitchen me jAA
I thought some1 track my mobile 😂😂😂
Exactly yrrr...It was irritating
Best one
Your style of entertaining is very unique... there's comedy in your stand up and even in your subtitles..... it's like ek teer do nishane 😅😂
So first I lowed the volume and read the story of stone sex... or sex stone...
And then after I restarted the video and put the headphones on and watched the whole video... we the ones who loves you are the real strugglers😪😪😪
Correct
1:45 i literally started reading comments and this dialogue came by and i stopped 😂
Correct bro
Mee too🤣
fun fact: All the laughs and claps are edited
Same..😂
Same here😂😂
Best Stand up comedian & great humour..
He is smart like an idiot ""thanks""..😂😂
50 Rs kaat over editing ka 😂🤣
Do laat khayega muft mein
Haha
😂
@@deshdeepakpandey7663 😂😂😂😂
Hey don't disturb in middle of videos
Exactly
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Who else missed "thanks"
Yaaaasss
Seriously yrr
😂😂😂😂
Yeaa
Sach me yaar... staring se miss kiya
Haha he doesn't wanna impress viewers😂
I had to watch this twice. Once to listen to the video, and once to read the captions😂😂 And dayumm they're funny!!!
''wo jagah bahut behter hai....chill karne ke liye..'' you nailed it bro
1:08 maybe those stones were not having sex
1:09 maybe they were nudist stones
CHECK SUBTITLES
Subtitles konse video k h ???
The CCs are just amazing!!! Never thought it could be used in this way
It's just me who spended the whole time reading subtitles 😂😂
Spent
I was achually reading comments ! When you say comments padhna band kar in middle of the video 😆😂😂😂!!
Loll
Me too...not that # wala
Same here 😅😅🙋♀️
me too
I was reading this comment when he said that!!!😂
Beech beech mai bolna band kar yaar..dekne ka mazza chala jata hai
tu chutiya h bro
Meine toh ek bar kat deneka bhi socha, fir socha chutiye ko dekh he leta hoon..
@@sarveshguptan8832 shi kaha yar
This video is a gem, change my mind
Caption has a different story 😂
I was like "Yeh kon bola" 😂 then i asked my brother "tu kuch bola kya" ..
Bc pehle hi earphone lagata hu to aisa lagta k mujhe koi pukaaar raha hai !!
😂😂😂😂
Literally I see my door thinking sayad koi AA gaya😂
Its happen to me as well
fun fact: All the laughs and claps are edited
🤣🤣
don't add your voice in middle
True
True...
Gaandu sunn kyu raha hai uska fir tu. tu kaan band kr na.
Sameer Bhandari true
@@amirfernandez5719 madarchod shi bol rha hai vo.. Bich me 1-2 baar shi lgta hai.. Par baar baar bakchodi achi nhi lgti.. Sala itna acha comedian hai.. Itne ache jokes the par bich me bol bol ke hag dia..
8:41 no one is talking about this 🤦😹
Exactly😂😂😂
This video is a Legend. Two screenplays, breaking 4th wall, superb jokes... Everything :D
This guy is too good .. Keep doing standups
I think you are a very smart comedian 😊 great content and when u commented in between that was really cherry on top people need really high level humor to understand that , so don't listen to anyone , you are doing great 👌 and fabulous video ♥️
He did something new which really impressed me, go on!!
Abbe yaar, in between joke disturb mat kar
Sahi bola
Ha yaar bohot chutiyapa lag raha hei
It's really disturbing...when the flow breaks
Nasir Ahmed Momin he's just thinking out loud😂😂
Yes stop that
Dude you're awesome! Genuinely love your humor, it's very unique. Thanks for existing :)
This guy is so underrated 🤣🤣
i am rooting for this guy. no charm or looks or acting, he has to write good jokes as he simply narrates them as list lol. all power to u man
I killed brains cells by reading those subtitles....
@@neelmehta9092 Gee thanks 😄
@@parashar2017 😂😂😂😂😂
It was figurative though 😛😂
@@neelmehta9092 no I'm not there
Does this guy use reverse psychology?
@Mr Nitesh make yourself pity and feel like he in real but at the same time he will in reverse it into real in he like feel and pity yourself make....
Its not definition its example. You will understand
Only if you didn't get hit by somone in goti...
@@_milannepali_ tu to tatto main lat marke bhaag gaya
@@skullyreckile2227 hahaha
@@skullyreckile2227 wtf😂😂😂
I had watched this when it was released. Watched it again. It surprises me that there are so many layers in this video!
Bro, I would say that you are just my true photocopy, just that I was born almost 3 decades before this photo print came out in this duniya 😝😝😝😝😍😍😂 loved the way you present everything to the public. Hats off to the audience who can spend their money to bear your jokes. 😋😋😍😍🥰🥰🤩😃😃😃🤣😂😅 Keep up the great work bro... Lots of love and fun
I was literally reading comment when said stop reading comment 😂
Manisha Rao agree 😀😀✌🏻
Me too 😆
Manisha, next time don't do this. Behave.
#me2 😅😅
true
Don't add your voice in between. Joke ka maza kharab ho jata hai bc.
0:05 captions 💀💀💀😂
Awsome! U actually played with our mind ..It was great...
His recorded voice on middles is even more irritating than those ADS
😂😂
True
Dude!! you were saying in the middle exactly what I was thinking... As if you know when and what's going on in my mind 🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂 funniest tho
This is a gem.
Never knew you blow one's mind away with jokes, subtitles and narration..
Bravo..
And should also praise RUclips's algorithm.. Feeding it after 3yrs and woah the weed was indeed orgasmic..
Ok watch this video with turn on cc
11 k dislikes are due too.. Editing
13k
Now these are 13 K XD and maybe due to r comment :D
But likes bhi dekho
Now Its 14k
107k likes dudes open your eyes and see
Your style is really different, it's entertaining! Keep it up.
The awkwardness in his standup is part of his charm.
I was reading comments while listening to the video. But then he said - "Abe comments padhna band kar subtitles padh maza hi aajayega ."
So I ignored him .One of the Unique comedian . All the best.
1:45 wow bro ,I was seriously reading comments when you told
I
#metoo
Me too
Me too
Exactly i just went to comment section and he said, i was confused if someone was spying on me or what?
#METOO
Don't pause video and don't put your irritating voice during video
Right
To video mat dekh na abhi wo jab chutiyapa kar hi rha h to Karne de use
he is just hiding that jokes which he can't public
Don't read the comments and don't put ur irratating advise during making judgements..
U r so cute
U are very unique from other comedians bro...god bless you
He doesn't wants us to watch the video🤣🤣🤣
I have watched hundreds of indian standup comedy but you, my friend have a very different level of humour. Ekdin bahoot upar jayega mere dost. And thanks for making us laugh. -- Love from Nepal
Agli baar voice over daali toh Gote pr laat marke bhag jaunga
😂😂👌👌
Hahahahahaa
Hahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
When an introvert becomes an stand up comedian.😅
The beginning is end and end is the beginning
1:45 wtf! I litteraly moved to the comment section two seconds before when you said that
same bro
Same
Me too
Bhai isko re-upload upload kar without any edits. 🤦♂️
7:35 the punchline is dark that dumb audience didn't get it lol dude u are fire
Explain
Since he insisted alot to quit so I did🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bhai Mai literally comments padh RHA tha 1:45
Sab log ...nthg special😂😂
The voice over isn't a good idea bro... :(
tabhi toh kiya hai bhai...
After watching your 5-6 videos I finally found your best vdeo and this vdeo I am going to recommend one of best stand ups that I have ever seen. 💙💙 still laughing🤣
Man..never ever switch on the subtitles in his videos
.youll be forced to rewatch it again
Him: Ma PM ni bn skta.
Meanwhile
Subtitles: So, two stones were having sex...😕🤣🤣
Keep uploading, been waiting for your thanxxx 😅, and don't put your audio in between of video, it breaks the flow of laughter and spoils the mood. Keep it up ☺️
Ooh bhai!
I was really scrolling through the comments and his voice came "yaar comments parhna band kar..subtitles parh"🤣🤣🤣
1:19. And then I left🙁
Don't add ur voice in middle..it's very disturbing.
Baat Maan li, kuch achha dekhunga. Thanks.
Seriously!
Who think the voice in middle Ruins this video ?
Ruins*
I left the vdo when he said "abhi b yahain par ho luch accha dekhlo yrr"🤣
I was literally reading comments 😂😂🤣
When he said “laut jao “ I literally left the video
Junaid Syed Bsdk comment karne ku aaya h fir
So that my children can know
@@junaidsyed4750 savage 😂
@@junaidsyed4750 😂😂😂😂
fun fact: All the laughs and claps are edited
Voice over agli baar se bardast nahi hoga.! 🤐
kudos..most no. of likes ever got on a comment..wow😂😂
Woohhoo ! 😎
@@shashankmishra3473 thik hai bhai..😂😂
@@ayushchoudhary4721 😂😂👍 tu banda shi h.. Bas bakchod hai 😂😂
@@ayushchoudhary4721 abe 1 hee like to mila vo bhi sayad tune khudh hee kr lia hoga😂
Dry humour bhi art hai yaaar
Well, i saw the same video a year ago! But then, without subtitles! Now i know, what i missed then!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
One of my favourite standup comedian
This is hilarious man.. best thing I’ve seen in the recent standup on RUclips. Cheers
Yaar aap itna achha stand up comedy karte hoo... Amezing yaar .....mene apkii videos kal se hi dekhniii start ki h ......you great
The captions though.... 😂🤣😂
LMAO.... 😂😂
Bhai tere video acche hote hai,, but iiss baar ye kya chutiyaa dubbing kar di sorry but video bhut achha hai,, lekin ye dubbing mat daal.. Feel tut jaati hai🙏
Satya vachan
Sahi baat
Yup
chutiya
@@kanhaiyagurjar6734 tere jese chutiye ko dekhke bass bolne ka mann kia
*Hahahaha* 😂 *Par Voice Bech Mai Nahi Dal Ni Chahiye Thi*
😂😂
Do not distrub 😂
This guy is in another level !!
Voiceover 😹
Insane sense of humour 😂😂😂😂👏👏
Voice on middle so irritating
Lame jokes... getting a feeling that the laughs were dubbed
These captions are just elite!!😂
Bdiya h bhai mst h boss...👍😂😂😂
The voice between the video is irritating. Please edit it and re-upload.
Keep doing what u r doin bruh! Most importantly experimenting wid the new joke patterns and styles 😂😂may be the voice over idea was not that good. But its new!!! And kudos for that🙏
Agree #goodvibesonly
Read the captions 😂 🤣
lmao like literally this is so funny!!!!!!!!