Finding and Getting People to Like You

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024

Комментарии • 150

  • @onwards.and.upwards
    @onwards.and.upwards 2 года назад +927

    Every time I watch videos like this I feel like I’m an alien cosplaying as a human

  • @vidhanmehta9960
    @vidhanmehta9960 2 года назад +475

    "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
    -C.S. Lewis

    • @AnaPsychology
      @AnaPsychology  2 года назад +125

      I'd argue it has some survival value, but yes I agree with the sentiment :) Live for joy, not just survival!

    • @RyuThe3rd
      @RyuThe3rd 2 года назад +27

      Wut... Bro imagine surviving without being in a tribe 10000 years ago or sum lol

    • @SongsbyMaggieMay
      @SongsbyMaggieMay 2 года назад +1

      I used that quote for my Lincoln Douglas debate :)

    • @SongsbyMaggieMay
      @SongsbyMaggieMay 2 года назад +2

      When he said “gives value to survival”

    • @katrin6388
      @katrin6388 2 года назад +2

      @@RyuThe3rd but i´d say tribes are mostly build of family members. a lot of children, a grandpa and one or two wifes.

  • @RyuThe3rd
    @RyuThe3rd 2 года назад +101

    Idk, something that wasn't mentioned here but could be helpful is just inviting people to kick it with you, and go on a “friend date” in a semi often habit.
    Plus having more Interaction time besides just one place, just work, or just in school, so that you both don't consider eachother just that. Even having an interaction about more than just one or two topics so that y'all don't feel like over time y'all can only talk about just that, and switching it up between something personal and specific to something general and mundane that everyone can relate to, something
    Another thing you can do is start up with a compliment and making observations/talking about things relavant to them, and the thing most relevant to most people is THEMSELVES.
    You can also start by almost matching a person/group's energy state or mood. You can also match a person's body language, some of a person's non obvious speech patterns.
    Another thing that you can do to really stick out in a person's mind, besides dealing with their insecurities is the art of fine flattery. Kind of a cheap trick but it's just making them feel different from everyone else by telling them that they do something or act in a certain way that you haven't particularly noticed in most other people and you think that's dope. Basically playing into other people's narcissim and desire to be unique.
    Edit:
    You can also stand up for yourself and be against the grain sometimes, over some not so relevant thing. Or just go against something and play devil's advocate just to fuck around a little bit and then you can always give the ball back to them.
    You can also give depth to your character by stating your values, the things you love and hate and why. Or stating one of your not so quicky quircks and passions that you may or may not have invented that you would die for, or one thing that you would never do even if you're dead. Some people might not particularly appreciate it, but most will respect you standing up for what you believe in.
    And the more personal and specific that passion is, the more it will be a cult classic instead of a generic movie to the people who actually resonate with what you said.
    And something you may wanna learn if you wanna go the polarising route is learning how to de escalate situations, take a step back, say you were just kidding and switch the topic, or even say sorry if they took it the wrong way and it's just you having fun and you don't want no smoke, and are y'all cool or not.
    There are some general qualities that people are looking on friends, and the types of Interaction's one can have with different types of them (just generalizations):
    - people who make them feel like it's ok to to loosen up (some trolling, role play, teasing/roasting)
    - people who make them feel like it's ok to open up and for support/feeling accepted (deep type of conversations where y'all are comfortable with silences)
    - people who make them feel like they're not alone (just shooting the shit about whatever is happening at the moment, at the immediate space, or the trend and hot talk)
    - people who make them feel special/like their best self (idk how to explain this one, I guess just giving advice/ complimenting and uplifting other's)
    - or a mixture of some, to all of them, or maybe something different
    I guess that's all in my mind now. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

    • @meryem-sh7wg
      @meryem-sh7wg 2 года назад +5

      that was incredibly helpful! thank you

    • @vasthefox
      @vasthefox 2 года назад +5

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I appreciate.

    • @squeebaby2683
      @squeebaby2683 9 месяцев назад +1

      Wow I love your advice, thanks so much

  • @angelface333
    @angelface333 2 года назад +117

    OH MY GOD YOU CHANGED MY LIFE the “not disclosing you like someone with little evidence” and just being patient and not doting on someone immediately and how to join a group convo are super super useful thank you
    also being strategic and not wasting energy 🥴

    • @sofialozano8810
      @sofialozano8810 2 года назад +23

      I was doing that as well. I could see why people find that sketchy or suspicious if you automatically like them, almost like you want something out of them but a lot of the times we just want a friend and we don’t know how else to do it lol

    • @spiderscurry5614
      @spiderscurry5614 2 года назад +2

      yes 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥲

    • @angelface333
      @angelface333 2 года назад +3

      @@sofialozano8810 yeah when she explained it, it made a lot more sense. especially when i’m trying to be more extroverted and not have the best filter, her saying that it “doesn’t feel real” put it into perspective

    • @adriennesamantha
      @adriennesamantha 2 года назад +1

      What do you mean Kayla? By not disclosing you like someone with little evidence, I don't understand

    • @angelface333
      @angelface333 2 года назад +8

      @@adriennesamantha she was saying if you haven’t had a full conversation or if you just met someone don’t drown them in compliments or tell them you like them right away. also not showing signs of loyalty or attachment off the bat. i would do this when friends would tell me about people before i met them and i’d be super excited based on what i was told about them but would generally be received as overwhelming (partly bc i WAS desperate for friends esp ones i vibes with). i can see how that’s confusing first meeting someone esp if they haven’t heard much about you (i often ask about my friends friends) or care much about ppl they haven’t met yet.

  • @admirbarucija2018
    @admirbarucija2018 2 года назад +69

    I’m normally pretty good at finding people who genuinely like me, but I have trouble getting closer to others and being vulnerable 😅

  • @anavicky335
    @anavicky335 2 года назад +79

    Could you please do a follow up video on how to deepen friendships? I’m very good at getting people to like me and make friends, but I am not able to extend that and make close friends. I haven’t felt like I belonged to a friend group since highschool :(

  • @adriennesamantha
    @adriennesamantha 2 года назад +65

    I've binged watched so many of your videos Ana because they're so useful

    • @AnaPsychology
      @AnaPsychology  2 года назад +7

      Thank you, I'm so happy to hear that!

  • @palad9275
    @palad9275 2 года назад +16

    Sometimes i feel like it's impossible for me to find friends. I keep trying to meet people, open up to them and being genuinely interested in them, but i never get the same in return. Maybe it's because of my lack of activities and hobbies making me boring person. Maybe I'm just making myself awkward constantly trying to please everyone adjusting to them. It always felt like being a friend means being selfless and caring, but not letting someone use or disrespect your efforts. And whats weird is that you kinda hear something like this from everyone all the time, but it just doesn't work for me even with people that share my interests and lifestyle. How to still keep faith and not give up if i know i can't live alone...

    • @khyati7733
      @khyati7733 2 года назад +7

      This is LITERALLY my situation right now and its so depressing

    • @Amazing_Mark
      @Amazing_Mark Год назад

      I feel your pain.

  • @PaperParade
    @PaperParade 2 года назад +40

    I sometimes wonder if I’m *too* open to who I’ll make friends with. Truth is, I find it easy to like others, and I’ll be friends with anyone nice enough. But I feel like this attitude people have these days, that they can only extend their friendship to people just like themselves that never raise any conflict or disagreement, is also kinda toxic. I often feel judged very quickly, and it’s hard to know from which direction the problem is coming from. I wish people would be more open-minded, and eager to look for commonalities instead of cancelling connections due to disagreements that don’t really have any effect on the relationship.

    • @patrizia9144
      @patrizia9144 2 года назад +4

      it probably wont help, but i can really feel you

  • @aiaki807
    @aiaki807 Год назад +10

    I need my boss and coworkers to like me so they don't make my life hell at work. Thus effecting my entire life and ability to survive.

  • @Jacobclarkeconnects
    @Jacobclarkeconnects 2 года назад +40

    I started to do all of these things recently in life these tips really do help a ton when it comes to making friends and getting people to like you, they just take practice. I had to figure out these social skills over time kinda on my own so it's cool to see all of this helpful information in one spot.

  • @jasminesteele00
    @jasminesteele00 2 года назад +21

    The boyfriend moment 🥺🥺

  • @bobotrone
    @bobotrone Год назад +10

    Hi Anna, I just want to say that you're really saving someone's life. I've been questioning the value of my life for a long time and that leaded me to depression and social anxiety. I didn't know who were my true friends and who weren't, In the past years somehow I realized all things that you said, I started to feel alive again, having deep connections with people helped me to redefine my goals and purpose in my life, I just wish I could knew all of this before, but we are here to learn. Tysm for your content ❤

  • @sori6196
    @sori6196 2 года назад +80

    i have always struggled with this thing about conversations: having things to talk about. if i am really living life as myself, i just don't end up with things to talk about. so if i want others to like me and want to be around me, i have to deliberately go and try to memorize things just so i can have things to talk about--- which is so difficult for me because it feels so inauthentic, it makes me feel hollow and like a fraud, like i'm only feigning interest in things so i can eventually talk to others. at the same time, i really do want to talk to others. i feel so stuck. any help appreciated

    • @aswin964
      @aswin964 2 года назад +15

      I feel the same way too. I struggle with small talk. But if I can find people who have the same interests as me, then I can speak with them about the stuff I'm passionate about at length. So i think, maybe it's about finding the right people?

    • @lindboknifeandtool
      @lindboknifeandtool Год назад +9

      People often get into hobbies or activities specifically to meet people, or to have stuff in common. I know personally, I had to become interested in a few new things just so I could actually talk about stuff.

    • @idragons1627
      @idragons1627 Год назад +5

      Hi, my personal solution to that is to ask questions about the other person you’re talking to. Try to be interested in them, and maybe you’ll find out that they actually are interesting. If not then you would still have a better understanding of the world around you and the different types of people that live in it !

    • @veronicalagor4771
      @veronicalagor4771 Год назад +2

      ​@idragons1627 In my experience this doesn't work for developing relationships if there's no mutual back and forth.
      You just become the person who gets talked to, not talked with

    • @idragons1627
      @idragons1627 Год назад +1

      @@veronicalagor4771 I agree with what you are saying, here I was giving advice as a starter for conversation. Obviously the goal is reciprocation, talking about yourself too, giving your opinion and expressing yourself during the conversation.

  • @neurodimensions7509
    @neurodimensions7509 2 года назад +37

    I was diagnosed with autism as an adult and am in need of some genuine long-lasting friendships. Before I knew I was autistic, I would try to make friends but tried to please everyone and change to meet their standards. It’s hard to be authentic if it leads to some rejection, but otherwise my friendships will end up being shallow or unhealthy.

  • @santiagozapata3651
    @santiagozapata3651 Год назад +2

    Since I moved to the US I realize almost immediately how hard it is to make meaningful relationships here. The sociocultural lifestyle makes the task very difficult, most of the people seem too focused on themselves and show a very shallow interest in everybody else’s life
    That was a culture shock for me 4 years ago 😵‍💫

  • @Amazing_Mark
    @Amazing_Mark Год назад +1

    I too hate small talk. So glad to hear a psychologist express the same distaste for small talk as I have.

  • @nudhartweety3981
    @nudhartweety3981 6 месяцев назад +1

    favourite youtuber for this era of mine❤

  • @Damious100
    @Damious100 2 года назад +12

    Honestly Yoga class and things like that was going to be my attempt at being around more people but... idk.
    Why is it so expensive to exist around other people.
    This is why I love movie theaters. Maybe you can't make friends there but at least everyone is there

    • @dakine4238
      @dakine4238 2 года назад +1

      You spend money on movies too but maybe there are free activities to do with others?

  • @draculena
    @draculena 2 года назад +8

    this is a really interesting topic 💗 -and one i’d love to learn more about. making friends is hard. except, my problem is finding people who i actually like. very bpd-adjacent problem

  • @sopaipillapesadilla7023
    @sopaipillapesadilla7023 2 года назад +18

    It's so easy to find someone similar to you that shares your interests in the digital world, but for someone to actually live near you too? That's impossible. There's so many of us, and yet I feel like I'm going to be friendless forever, because I just can't find enough real friends, I only have acquaintances that I get along with, but nobody that shares my interests.

    • @drefloresca95
      @drefloresca95 2 года назад +2

      same:(

    • @drefloresca95
      @drefloresca95 2 года назад +4

      especially living in a city with terrible public transport, it's so hard to meet up with ppl

    • @sopaipillapesadilla7023
      @sopaipillapesadilla7023 2 года назад +3

      @@drefloresca95 I know, transportation is a huge issue. and traveling is expensive. It often seems like modern capitalist society is literally designed to prevent us from mingling, except for senseless partying(where we spend lots of money and thus help move the economy)

  • @The_Cowwwthem
    @The_Cowwwthem 2 года назад +9

    If you haven’t could you maybe at some point, do a video on how to self disclose skillfully and not like word vomit, and examples on this because I personally found it very interesting and it would be helpful I feel! Thank you

    • @nirgunawish
      @nirgunawish 2 года назад

      read this comment just as she said it. that said, seconded, theres a few more videos this subject deserves

  • @erikparent8176
    @erikparent8176 2 года назад +11

    I've been a meditator for a long time and I find that I'm very comfortable on my own.
    With that said when one has lost a certain neediness- relationships seem to come fairly easily.
    The Dalai Lama recommends that everyone spend some time alone everyday.😉
    🙏🧘‍♀️🧘‍♂️🌅

  • @LisaSmith-yb2uz
    @LisaSmith-yb2uz 2 года назад +4

    I completely agree with you on the whole “small talk” thing ! 😊👌

  • @angieperezascenciodelmoral3737
    @angieperezascenciodelmoral3737 2 года назад +2

    OMG! I hate small talk as well! It was so cute to include your bf interruption... I would love to know how You met, and how You knew it was a worthy relationship to start!

  • @hidden_forest308
    @hidden_forest308 2 года назад +3

    I really cherish your hardwork, creativity and enthusiasm for these videos. Thanks alot 🍁

  • @SPeeDKiLL45
    @SPeeDKiLL45 Год назад

    Your tipps are so underrated. You deserve more clicks fr.
    i like your videos

  • @cutiefox6455
    @cutiefox6455 2 года назад +3

    Thank you 🥺 i adore your videos on relationships. always something to take from it

  • @elisabeths9745
    @elisabeths9745 2 года назад +2

    I was just watching your videos yesterday and was hoping you would soon cover this topic, so thank you so much!

  • @erianapanopoulou7103
    @erianapanopoulou7103 2 года назад +6

    Great tips for IRL interaction with coworkers and groups you'd want to get to know more. I want to ask, how could one apply such strategies, mindset, etc. when most of the interaction with these happen or can start mainly through the digital world? For example, remote work conditions, even if you all are based in the same city, but don't live close by. Or if you have met some people casually through another friend or acquaintance, and you want to get to know them better, but again your main route for communication is social media? How do you initiate the "May I join you?" approach digitally?
    Thank you for all your content, it really is helpful and inspiring!

    • @RyuThe3rd
      @RyuThe3rd 2 года назад

      Yow it's 0 am, and I Gotta say that you have the prettiest smile that I've seen all day lmao. Anyways g night (it'll be a challenge not to dream about you)

  • @mikejamroz2787
    @mikejamroz2787 2 года назад

    This advice really resonates with me. Especially in the context of dating.

  • @keyikumlen.zeliang6179
    @keyikumlen.zeliang6179 2 года назад +1

    Thanks for another video! I'd love to watch a video on your book recommendations as well 💗

  • @bryanyohannan2476
    @bryanyohannan2476 2 года назад +3

    Needed this, great stuff !

  • @chailattee
    @chailattee Год назад

    So helpful as always Ana! ❤ Thank you for sharing your insight with us all.

  • @AbstractFocus
    @AbstractFocus 2 года назад

    I really appreciate this content, Ana. Subscribed!

  • @julianmunoz6034
    @julianmunoz6034 2 года назад +3

    Best way to join a conversation is to walk up at a normal pace, start nodding and agreeing as a joke, and then when everyone notices say a joke and then continue with their conversation .

  • @Sashin9000
    @Sashin9000 9 месяцев назад +1

    I don't think I ever start off disliking people, hmmm... I think I generally don't continue to hang out if I don't like them early on so that kind of dynamic can't really evolve

  • @chrcoc
    @chrcoc 2 года назад +1

    Trying to make (work)-friends right now, this is helpful!

  • @瑞希-h2b
    @瑞希-h2b 2 года назад +1

    hehe clicking to watch ur old vids and seeing u just uploaded B)

  • @pretty948
    @pretty948 2 года назад +6

    Love the fit

  • @caityblackcherry2673
    @caityblackcherry2673 Год назад +1

    The issue is I make a strong first impression. But how do I sustain it when I burn out so easily?

  • @SongsbyMaggieMay
    @SongsbyMaggieMay 2 года назад

    I’m addicted to your channel :)

  • @andiefisher5646
    @andiefisher5646 2 года назад +3

    What if I feel like I don't like most people? Isn't that some sort of reflection that I'm not open-minded or compassionate enough? I think I have the opposite problem of a lot of people and care too little about what people think of me.

  • @camicamcam1234
    @camicamcam1234 2 года назад +3

    You should make a podcast. Love your channel.

  • @Damious100
    @Damious100 2 года назад +2

    So all I have to do is .
    *checks note* Be... around people?
    No that can't be right.

  • @The_Cowwwthem
    @The_Cowwwthem 2 года назад

    I like ur videos! Thank you for making these and others

  • @Dan1elAndrade
    @Dan1elAndrade Год назад

    OOF
    I really needed this video, thanks

  • @theartistmissib6845
    @theartistmissib6845 2 года назад

    Thank you! Timely 💜💜

  • @simplyunknown3549
    @simplyunknown3549 2 года назад +4

    Don't really understand why it would be narcissistic to like someone that is similar to us. Could you please care to explain? I kind of find that ridiculous.

    • @Gokuvsnaruto22
      @Gokuvsnaruto22 2 года назад

      😂

    • @starlightwhispers6781
      @starlightwhispers6781 2 года назад +3

      It validates your sense of self and therefore increases self-importance

    • @medd0ws
      @medd0ws Год назад +1

      @@starlightwhispers6781 That's not the only reason. Being around people similar to you also increases your sense of emotional and intellectual connection. Conversely, connection is harder to achieve with people less similar to yourself.

    • @starlightwhispers6781
      @starlightwhispers6781 Год назад +1

      @@medd0ws So it would be a good thing then, not a narcissistic quality?

  • @pretty948
    @pretty948 2 года назад +1

    Love the fit ✨

  • @VanillaBean15
    @VanillaBean15 2 года назад

    THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO

  • @PeterParker-ff7ub
    @PeterParker-ff7ub 6 месяцев назад +1

    Ok but you already made a video about not caring what people think, this is for getting people to like you. I don;t obsess over it Im just lonely and tired of not having friends. Why is adult friendship so difficult when kids can just be friends like that?

  • @KhushiSingh-xi9jt
    @KhushiSingh-xi9jt 2 года назад

    A really great video!!

  • @sarahcollins7220
    @sarahcollins7220 9 месяцев назад

    Ana for president!

  • @MI7D-Studio
    @MI7D-Studio 2 года назад

    Love this content! A new subscriber :)

  • @priyamhazarika2744
    @priyamhazarika2744 2 года назад

    I really liked this one ,it's helpful

  • @susannahart1744
    @susannahart1744 2 года назад +1

    Lol. I also despise small talk. 😄

  • @kidhermes5494
    @kidhermes5494 2 года назад +1

    guy at 5:10 is a snack and he look like he got bars for days

  • @Alsatiagent
    @Alsatiagent Год назад

    Your stoned gal in the washroom reminds me of Sorted For E's & Wizz by Pulp.

  • @PeterParker-ff7ub
    @PeterParker-ff7ub 6 месяцев назад

    Like trying to make cats like you.

  • @procrastinathor4594
    @procrastinathor4594 4 месяца назад

    4:07 interesting, that brings me to a thought:
    if I don't like myself and someone else does, will there be the same cognitive disonance?

  • @Le_Marquis_de_Faux_Images
    @Le_Marquis_de_Faux_Images Год назад

    Good tips for how to interact with NPCs

  • @Amazing_Mark
    @Amazing_Mark Год назад +1

    Sadly, I don't have any friends. 😢

  • @PeterParker-ff7ub
    @PeterParker-ff7ub 6 месяцев назад

    How do people know whether you do learn more, to want to talk to you, if they didn;t know you?

  • @nomaddux
    @nomaddux Год назад

    That girl that was “on something”, def molly

  • @yy_doc_ari3256
    @yy_doc_ari3256 2 года назад +1

    Why Ifeel humiliated when Iclicked on this ?!

  • @gumigoo4172
    @gumigoo4172 2 года назад

    would you ever consider making a podcast?

  • @karolinerover8020
    @karolinerover8020 2 года назад

    I feel this accurate but I don't know how to do it in this cobvid*** situation btw I love all your videos

  • @malva6176
    @malva6176 2 года назад +2

    what if you have a co-worker that you want to bond with but is short with her answers or tries to not conversate as much of their personal life..for example how their weekend was.. till what point do we get the hint that maybe they don't want to bond some way?

    • @yourfavoriteentertainment
      @yourfavoriteentertainment 2 года назад

      Same. Sometimes I think she doesn't like me because she quickly talks and walks away. Sometimes she opens up a bit to me and I'm surprised. And sometimes she just hangs out around me without saying anything and I don't know what to do or if I should say something. . .

    • @bobina77777
      @bobina77777 Год назад +1

      maybe shes shy? i was like this n had to work on it but i still havent gotten to the stage of revealing enough of my personality. just approach these w curiosity n an opportunity to gain a new experience? at the end of the day u cant b frienz with everyone

  • @gregorykl2317
    @gregorykl2317 5 месяцев назад

    at the end, how do you know if a person / group of people is right for you? you cant know their lifestyle for sure, only some observations you've made which can be far from the truth. I guess the only option is to actually go and try, right?

  • @thewindupsweetheart
    @thewindupsweetheart 8 месяцев назад

    your outfit makes me think you just got out of a Native American fire ceremony

  • @skmanny2525
    @skmanny2525 2 года назад +1

    What if I dislike everyone? I'm fuked!

  • @windws7137
    @windws7137 Год назад

    I would like to befriend foreigners, particularly Dutch people, love their culture, but don't know how to reach to them

  • @autokratycznyhomunkulus4338
    @autokratycznyhomunkulus4338 Год назад

    How to have friends tutorial:
    Do u like them?
    Upsss...

  • @tomlanza8384
    @tomlanza8384 2 года назад +1

    I genuinely don't care if people hate me because I'll most likely hate them as well. After all, I care for no one, so I pray that they feel the same about me. I was born in the lake of fire where my father calls himself king, and the people who agree with him are forever doomed.

  • @mustakbelle
    @mustakbelle 2 года назад

    🧡🧡🧡🧡

  • @aliveslice
    @aliveslice Год назад

    1:50

  • @gypsylollipop5828
    @gypsylollipop5828 2 года назад

    The Satanic women next to my rental raised her voice cowardly (oh nooo!) with a stick she used a bucket to signal her boonoo¡¡¡ at the pace I was hitting the bag with some swift style. Then my head badly pressured because I dont process remedial failures as she was obsessing.
    Now they howl family own the police lol and the song ..every move you make'
    So am moving out 🌹🕋🕌
    She won't bother with my YPJ girls, they are good shot.
    And I got to go to ChiChen Itza!
    Love you
    Long live the revolution...
    "I can say I never knew any hand I kissed in vain"

  • @yyysamuel3215
    @yyysamuel3215 2 года назад +1

    Tbh everything you are saying is don't matter if the girl is not attracted to the guy by his LOOKS. No one wants to open a book with a shit cover.
    "without the initial looks everything such as personality is damn irrelevant"

  • @7Z-t
    @7Z-t 2 года назад +7

    Don’t simply ask to join a group. That doesn’t work.

    • @AnaPsychology
      @AnaPsychology  2 года назад +6

      Idk, it's worked for me 🤷‍♀️

    • @RyuThe3rd
      @RyuThe3rd 2 года назад +5

      Idk, you can always just try saying. “Y'all guys seem dope but hope I'm not intruding or anything”

    • @bobina77777
      @bobina77777 Год назад

      u will never kno if u dont try

  • @ariefhakimi3498
    @ariefhakimi3498 2 года назад

    Hey can i be your friend?

  • @taasch2505
    @taasch2505 2 года назад

    i can make lots of friends. But I can't make a female friend into a wife LOL *sobs*