Thank you for your video. I have a strong suspicion that I'm autistic and am deliberating whether to pursue a formal diagnosis. My kid has just been diagnosed but that cost us $4k in Australia and we can qualify for government support for them. For myself, I'll probably self diagnose and look for ways to help. My mask has been slipping these past few months after starting an office job with a high volume of auditory stimuli.
@@placeholder24678 This sounds like a solid plan. Self diagnosis is completely valid as it's all about trying to understand yourself better, and to reframe your past through a new lens. 👍 (and $4k? crikey! they never make it easy, do they??)
What are your thoughts on the rdos test. I've taken that test and embrace autism online test, however, I'm having what they call imposter syndrome and question the tests validity. A few years ago, I chatted with an autist online, and because I'm a curious sort lol I started researching. The rdos test, I scored 142 out of 200 At 61 y.o. I won't likely get assessed. I have found the process to be quite nuanced My ex called me a renaissance woman 😅 is that a clue? ☺️
@@azcactusflower1 I think Imposter Syndrome is something everyone deals with (I know I certainly do) but I'd recommend taking as many online tests as you can. As well as the RDOS test, there's the AQ50 (which often forms part of a diagnostic process), the CAT-Q test, and you could maybe look at the monotropism test - which isn't at the moment considered a specific signifier of autism, but it's thought that a lot of autistic people are monotropic in their thought processes (I am)
Like you I have had my diagnosis in my 40s. You sit back and think about your life from childhood to now. You think of how different you are to non autistic people. Thank you for today 💓
“Being a bit more grumpy”, I think this is really interesting - having tried to do my best to fit in for more than 60 odd years this is a real challenge
Thank you for sharing! I stumbled over "some autism-video" on RUclips on Thursday (Orion!), having like "Ding-Ding-Ding-Bingo-Moments" every minute. Being 46. I "won" every test provided on "embrace-autism" after that by now "comfortably". I felt in a way relieved on Friday that I haven't experienced for decades (maybe in my entire life) as if I've just found out what "42" actually means as an answer to everything. Everything suddenly makes sense. And then there are so many questions now, reviewing an entire life, asking yourself who you are after masking for decades, knowing that it can`t be cured and the not so helpful information that our health-system is next to useless (it would take three years or more for getting an appointmend to get officially evaluated/diagnosed in Germany, and what would do that anyway?), regarding the risk of being unemployed (or to get employed in the first place for many others) and even darker topics with very high rates compared to neurotypical people. However, I know now why I struggle so much at work with things like the "Emotion Wheel", "Sugarcoating", "Dishonesty", Business Trips, getting angry being constantly interrupted in my work, neighbours closing there doors and windows like there's no tomorrow (like loud!), people walking on their heels (noise!), why I'm so utterly exhausted from work that I need the entire weekend to recharge, why the last "Offsite" (a weekend company "event") basically caused an autistic burnout on Monday (couldn't do anything!). That there are words and descriptions for all these things and most importantly, that I'm not alone feeling like an alien on this planet! This is a really a lot to process, so thank you again sharing your experiences!
I have been self-diagnosing then backpedalling due to Imposter Syndrome for two decades now. INFJ, HSP, introvert, HF Asperger's. .. my travels into why I've felt different and a wee bit odd have finally led me to acceptance. I cannot afford to get formally diagnosed at age 53. I've had nearly 30 jobs and they've all been low-paying so I don't have enough spare $$$ to pay for it. And then there's the stress of well what if I'm an imposter and then I waste that money? It doesn't help that I finally, FINALLY decided to talk to someone about it and I chose the wrong person. My doctor told me that I'm too social to be autistic and proceeded to tell me that he knew I was only saying it to get the disability pension and go on the NDIS (national disability insurance scheme) here in Australia. I fled in tears.
Definitely relate...46, live in the US, and adult diagnosis is elusive for me financially. I have been to more than one cheap therapist in my day that just shoveled me along with incomplete diagnoses, misdiagnoses, and prescriptions. Oddly enough, even with me mothering two kids diagnosed as ASD, they still could not connect the dots or did not care enough to. Every test I take, every bit of the screening done from my kids over time has always summed up my experiences as being on the spectrum. I have cycled from loud and proud back to doubt and imposter syndrome many many times over. I am glad for channels like these and welcoming communities. The more we can validate one another, the better.
Yes! My now-adult children have been diagnosed in recent years. One of my daughters is a psychologist and has been encouraging me to look into my own situation. So now I say I'm a self-realised autistic person. She sent me some info on being an autistic mother, which was fascinating. ❤ I think autistic motherhood should be investigated more. ❤
I'm so sorry you had this experience, with a Doctor of all people!? What an absolutely abhorrent thing to say. Self diagnosis is completely valid as ultimately it's all about understanding yourself better 🧡
@@CreativeAutistic yep, it was hard at first because I trusted it was a safe space to discuss it. It SHOULD be. But sadly medical gaslighting is real and there's not much we can do about it except recount our experiences so that others know they're not alone. I now feel that I'm 90% sure of my self-recognised autism. I've discussed it with my partner over the last couple of months and he completely agrees and is very supportive and understanding. He has always made accommodations for me without either of us fully recognising or understanding the reasons. It's wonderful to have someone in my corner. 💗
Thanks for sharing, I'm 64 and have just received my NHS diagnosis, a little over a week ago, after 2.5 years on the waiting list. I know it's late but it's been a relief to finally know why it's all been so hard. Because I did well in school there was no chance of ever being offered any kind of help in the 1960's. Despite my internal turmoil and constant battle with anxiety, I've always been physically imposing and have used this to camouflage rather than mask which has helped get me through most of it. Like you I met my wife later, I was 34, but she has been my saving grace. Great channel, hope you continue to do well, you deserve it.
Congrats on your diagnosis, Paul. I hope it helps you to slowly reframe things - I'm sure it will (and thank you for your lovely feedback - very much appreciated)
I know what you mean about noise from neighbours, even when there is no noise you end up almost waiting for the noise to start! And it leaves you in a a cycle of being in a heightened aggitated state. Fortunately i have good neighbours at the moment which is rare for me! But the walls are just too thin therefore every noise is picked up on and it is another type of energy drain dealing with intrusive noises. In the past when iv'e had bad noisy selfish neighbours iv'e had terrible meltdowns . Thank you lizzie your doing a grand job on your channel🌼🙋♂️
It's a real issue with modern housing. My dad's house was an old Victorian terraced house and its walls were somehow naturally soundproofed. I'm glad your current neighbours are considerate though - it really makes all the difference. (and thank you!)
I couldn't go thru life without my masks. Imagine being totally authentic, telling everyone with whom you come in contact your true thoughts and feelings. It'd be disastrous. Masking is a necessity. I reveal different parts of myself to different people -- that's completely natural. It does feel good, though, to be able to open up and let someone see the real 'you'. It's a rare person I can do that with.
I've really relied on masking but I know that some autistics say that they've managed to unmask successfully and feel much better for it, so I think it depends on the individual. For me, it's going to be a much more gradual process.
I transitioned from masking a year ago and it was an intense rewiring that lasted 7 days. I have Autism/ADHD and I am very autistic forward. As I have progressed with being introspective and being able to accept myself along with the support all around my your Autism becomes more free and liberated which should give better self regulation. Senses will increase, mine were huge but my masking was intense. Some bad textures have become more apparent in some foods as well. Never underestimate the intrigue of what our brains can do.👻🤪🌶🤘😎♾️
Yes I feel your pain on all these points Lizzie. I think part of the reason we end up feeling more autistic is because we are more aware and also we begin to stop masking as much which then makes these things more noticable to ourselves as well as any loved ones who know. Previous to self diagnosis I would blame alot on anxiety, not realising the cause. I also have felt moments where it really does feel like a disability eg: how my brain is affected when I am overwhelmed or in meltdown/burnout and my brain is so clunky I find it so hard to perform tasks I have done so many times before. Its great you have been able to unmask with your partner for so long. I have been masking with everyone because I felt that if I showed all my difficulties people would think there was something wrong with me.😟 I have unmasked a bit now with my partner, son and mum. I am doing my assessment Monday and am sooooooo nervous but also just want it done and to get clarification I am not mad!!!. I am so grateful you started your channel.❤😊
OMG, I know how utterly nerve-wracking the days before an assessment are. I hope the weekend goes super fast for you and you get the outcome you're hoping for - and if you're feeling comfortable to share (absolutely no worries if not), I'd love to know how you get on, Sarah. GOOD LUCK!! 🧡
Hi Lizzie, I can't speak for anyone else but I for one am very glad that you exist. You're an excellent role model and always retain a sense of calm that I'd kill for. As for the experts, it says something about a civilisation when good-hearted law-abiding prosocial people like yourself feel the need to fawn over them and appease their ego before it riles them up and makes them lash out in vengeful brutality. Let's call a spade a spade: you had to do all the hard work yourself after being neglected by those very same people (and their counterparts in the Bismarck 'education' production-unit farm) for years, and as soon as you finished doing their job for them, you were the one who had to wait; you were the one who had to watch your lip; and now you are the one that has to be grateful. Excuse my French but you can read my mind. You beat them and you've come out as someone we'd all give our eye teeth to be. Keep on thriving xxxxxxx @"whole new identity" - it's pretty profound isn't it. Not going to info-dump but suffice to say this resonates like an onlooker would _not believe_ @traffic noise after finding out.... jeeeeesus..... are you sure we're not twins?
Hi Lizzie, thanks so much for your content. I'm over 50 now and I scheduled for diagnosis within ~6 months from today. All these years I was treated differently by others and it was very hurtful, but now I know where I belong. I already have a circle of likeminded friends and I also receive so much support and validation from youtubers like yourself, so thank you!
Congrats on getting your assessment! I'm glad to hear that you've at last found your tribe and, yes, I think the RUclips community is doing amazing work in supporting other autistic people 🧡
I am uncertain about being autistic. Some scores on online tests indicate a high probability of having ASD, others are either neutral or slightly positive. I, like you, have noticed autistic traits in myself MORE now, such as being self-conscious about how much eye contact I am making, or noticing how I have trouble keeping conversations going.
Btw, I was only able to get a (late) diagnosis as assessments are free in England. Self diagnosis/self identification is absolutely valid ✌️
Thank you for your video. I have a strong suspicion that I'm autistic and am deliberating whether to pursue a formal diagnosis. My kid has just been diagnosed but that cost us $4k in Australia and we can qualify for government support for them. For myself, I'll probably self diagnose and look for ways to help. My mask has been slipping these past few months after starting an office job with a high volume of auditory stimuli.
@@placeholder24678 This sounds like a solid plan. Self diagnosis is completely valid as it's all about trying to understand yourself better, and to reframe your past through a new lens. 👍 (and $4k? crikey! they never make it easy, do they??)
What are your thoughts on the rdos test. I've taken that test and embrace autism online test, however, I'm having what they call imposter syndrome and question the tests validity.
A few years ago, I chatted with an autist online, and because I'm a curious sort lol I started researching.
The rdos test, I scored 142 out of 200
At 61 y.o. I won't likely get assessed.
I have found the process to be quite nuanced
My ex called me a renaissance woman 😅 is that a clue? ☺️
@@azcactusflower1 What is a 'renaissance woman' ?
@@azcactusflower1 I think Imposter Syndrome is something everyone deals with (I know I certainly do) but I'd recommend taking as many online tests as you can. As well as the RDOS test, there's the AQ50 (which often forms part of a diagnostic process), the CAT-Q test, and you could maybe look at the monotropism test - which isn't at the moment considered a specific signifier of autism, but it's thought that a lot of autistic people are monotropic in their thought processes (I am)
Like you I have had my diagnosis in my 40s. You sit back and think about your life from childhood to now. You think of how different you are to non autistic people. Thank you for today 💓
You’re very welcome - I’m glad you’re able to relate 🧡
“Being a bit more grumpy”, I think this is really interesting - having tried to do my best to fit in for more than 60 odd years this is a real challenge
It really is so challenging 🧡
Thank you for sharing! I stumbled over "some autism-video" on RUclips on Thursday (Orion!), having like "Ding-Ding-Ding-Bingo-Moments" every minute. Being 46. I "won" every test provided on "embrace-autism" after that by now "comfortably". I felt in a way relieved on Friday that I haven't experienced for decades (maybe in my entire life) as if I've just found out what "42" actually means as an answer to everything. Everything suddenly makes sense. And then there are so many questions now, reviewing an entire life, asking yourself who you are after masking for decades, knowing that it can`t be cured and the not so helpful information that our health-system is next to useless (it would take three years or more for getting an appointmend to get officially evaluated/diagnosed in Germany, and what would do that anyway?), regarding the risk of being unemployed (or to get employed in the first place for many others) and even darker topics with very high rates compared to neurotypical people.
However, I know now why I struggle so much at work with things like the "Emotion Wheel", "Sugarcoating", "Dishonesty", Business Trips, getting angry being constantly interrupted in my work, neighbours closing there doors and windows like there's no tomorrow (like loud!), people walking on their heels (noise!), why I'm so utterly exhausted from work that I need the entire weekend to recharge, why the last "Offsite" (a weekend company "event") basically caused an autistic burnout on Monday (couldn't do anything!). That there are words and descriptions for all these things and most importantly, that I'm not alone feeling like an alien on this planet! This is a really a lot to process, so thank you again sharing your experiences!
Thank you for sharing and I can relate to a lot here! (and Orion's videos are such an amazing resource!) 🧡
I have been self-diagnosing then backpedalling due to Imposter Syndrome for two decades now. INFJ, HSP, introvert, HF Asperger's. .. my travels into why I've felt different and a wee bit odd have finally led me to acceptance.
I cannot afford to get formally diagnosed at age 53. I've had nearly 30 jobs and they've all been low-paying so I don't have enough spare $$$ to pay for it. And then there's the stress of well what if I'm an imposter and then I waste that money?
It doesn't help that I finally, FINALLY decided to talk to someone about it and I chose the wrong person. My doctor told me that I'm too social to be autistic and proceeded to tell me that he knew I was only saying it to get the disability pension and go on the NDIS (national disability insurance scheme) here in Australia.
I fled in tears.
Definitely relate...46, live in the US, and adult diagnosis is elusive for me financially. I have been to more than one cheap therapist in my day that just shoveled me along with incomplete diagnoses, misdiagnoses, and prescriptions. Oddly enough, even with me mothering two kids diagnosed as ASD, they still could not connect the dots or did not care enough to. Every test I take, every bit of the screening done from my kids over time has always summed up my experiences as being on the spectrum. I have cycled from loud and proud back to doubt and imposter syndrome many many times over. I am glad for channels like these and welcoming communities. The more we can validate one another, the better.
Yes! My now-adult children have been diagnosed in recent years. One of my daughters is a psychologist and has been encouraging me to look into my own situation.
So now I say I'm a self-realised autistic person.
She sent me some info on being an autistic mother, which was fascinating. ❤ I think autistic motherhood should be investigated more.
❤
I'm so sorry you had this experience, with a Doctor of all people!? What an absolutely abhorrent thing to say. Self diagnosis is completely valid as ultimately it's all about understanding yourself better 🧡
@@CreativeAutistic yep, it was hard at first because I trusted it was a safe space to discuss it. It SHOULD be. But sadly medical gaslighting is real and there's not much we can do about it except recount our experiences so that others know they're not alone.
I now feel that I'm 90% sure of my self-recognised autism. I've discussed it with my partner over the last couple of months and he completely agrees and is very supportive and understanding. He has always made accommodations for me without either of us fully recognising or understanding the reasons.
It's wonderful to have someone in my corner. 💗
Thanks for sharing, I'm 64 and have just received my NHS diagnosis, a little over a week ago, after 2.5 years on the waiting list. I know it's late but it's been a relief to finally know why it's all been so hard. Because I did well in school there was no chance of ever being offered any kind of help in the 1960's. Despite my internal turmoil and constant battle with anxiety, I've always been physically imposing and have used this to camouflage rather than mask which has helped get me through most of it. Like you I met my wife later, I was 34, but she has been my saving grace. Great channel, hope you continue to do well, you deserve it.
Congrats on your diagnosis, Paul. I hope it helps you to slowly reframe things - I'm sure it will (and thank you for your lovely feedback - very much appreciated)
Same here...7 months since NHS diagnosis at 53. So many things now make sense.
Congrats on your diagnosis - I'm glad to hear it's helping you to make sense of things 🧡
I know what you mean about noise from neighbours, even when there is no noise you end up almost waiting for the noise to start! And it leaves you in a a cycle of being in a heightened aggitated state. Fortunately i have good neighbours at the moment which is rare for me! But the walls are just too thin therefore every noise is picked up on and it is another type of energy drain dealing with intrusive noises. In the past when iv'e had bad noisy selfish neighbours iv'e had terrible meltdowns . Thank you lizzie your doing a grand job on your channel🌼🙋♂️
It's a real issue with modern housing. My dad's house was an old Victorian terraced house and its walls were somehow naturally soundproofed. I'm glad your current neighbours are considerate though - it really makes all the difference. (and thank you!)
I couldn't go thru life without my masks. Imagine being totally authentic, telling everyone with whom you come in contact your true thoughts and feelings. It'd be disastrous. Masking is a necessity. I reveal different parts of myself to different people -- that's completely natural. It does feel good, though, to be able to open up and let someone see the real 'you'. It's a rare person I can do that with.
I've really relied on masking but I know that some autistics say that they've managed to unmask successfully and feel much better for it, so I think it depends on the individual. For me, it's going to be a much more gradual process.
I transitioned from masking a year ago and it was an intense rewiring that lasted 7 days. I have Autism/ADHD and I am very autistic forward. As I have progressed with being introspective and being able to accept myself along with the support all around my your Autism becomes more free and liberated which should give better self regulation. Senses will increase, mine were huge but my masking was intense. Some bad textures have become more apparent in some foods as well. Never underestimate the intrigue of what our brains can do.👻🤪🌶🤘😎♾️
Gosh, 7 days? That's hardcore! 🤘 I think I need a more gradual approach personally! 😆
@@CreativeAutistic yeah, I highly recommend that.🤣🤣
@@bhutjolokia6990 😜
Thank you for sharing your stories
🧡
Yes I feel your pain on all these points Lizzie. I think part of the reason we end up feeling more autistic is because we are more aware and also we begin to stop masking as much which then makes these things more noticable to ourselves as well as any loved ones who know. Previous to self diagnosis I would blame alot on anxiety, not realising the cause. I also have felt moments where it really does feel like a disability eg: how my brain is affected when I am overwhelmed or in meltdown/burnout and my brain is so clunky I find it so hard to perform tasks I have done so many times before. Its great you have been able to unmask with your partner for so long. I have been masking with everyone because I felt that if I showed all my difficulties people would think there was something wrong with me.😟 I have unmasked a bit now with my partner, son and mum. I am doing my assessment Monday and am sooooooo nervous but also just want it done and to get clarification I am not mad!!!. I am so grateful you started your channel.❤😊
OMG, I know how utterly nerve-wracking the days before an assessment are. I hope the weekend goes super fast for you and you get the outcome you're hoping for - and if you're feeling comfortable to share (absolutely no worries if not), I'd love to know how you get on, Sarah. GOOD LUCK!! 🧡
@@CreativeAutistic thank you. 😊
Hi Lizzie, I can't speak for anyone else but I for one am very glad that you exist. You're an excellent role model and always retain a sense of calm that I'd kill for.
As for the experts, it says something about a civilisation when good-hearted law-abiding prosocial people like yourself feel the need to fawn over them and appease their ego before it riles them up and makes them lash out in vengeful brutality.
Let's call a spade a spade: you had to do all the hard work yourself after being neglected by those very same people (and their counterparts in the Bismarck 'education' production-unit farm) for years, and as soon as you finished doing their job for them, you were the one who had to wait; you were the one who had to watch your lip; and now you are the one that has to be grateful.
Excuse my French but you can read my mind.
You beat them and you've come out as someone we'd all give our eye teeth to be.
Keep on thriving xxxxxxx
@"whole new identity" - it's pretty profound isn't it. Not going to info-dump but suffice to say this resonates like an onlooker would _not believe_
@traffic noise after finding out.... jeeeeesus..... are you sure we're not twins?
Aww, I had a wee tear in my eye reading this. Thank you so much 🧡
I am 57 and have an appointment in two weeks.
Good luck with your assessment. It's very nerve-racking but ultimately so worth it 🧡
"Normal lives" are overrated. Best thing discovering &/or diagnosis does is give permission to live the best lives for each individual.
Exactly this 👍
Hi Lizzie, thanks so much for your content. I'm over 50 now and I scheduled for diagnosis within ~6 months from today. All these years I was treated differently by others and it was very hurtful, but now I know where I belong. I already have a circle of likeminded friends and I also receive so much support and validation from youtubers like yourself, so thank you!
Congrats on getting your assessment! I'm glad to hear that you've at last found your tribe and, yes, I think the RUclips community is doing amazing work in supporting other autistic people 🧡
I am uncertain about being autistic. Some scores on online tests indicate a high probability of having ASD, others are either neutral or slightly positive. I, like you, have noticed autistic traits in myself MORE now, such as being self-conscious about how much eye contact I am making, or noticing how I have trouble keeping conversations going.