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Akexethimia causes pain in the body in us to

There is a difference between actual alexithymia and how the word has come to be used. Lacking words for feelings is not the same as being unable to identify (recognize and know the difference between) feelings. You can have actual alexithymia, not having words for feelings, while having no issues recognizing feelings and emotions you're having as distinct feelings or mixed ones. And vice versa. The former is very much like being able to recognize a species of flower you've seen before, without knowing its name. The problem is that nobody can know your experience, and so only guess what you might be feeling from what they observe of you and your descriptions and giving you _their_ label for it, which you can accept or reject. As a result, a label, a name for a feeling, for one person will almost certainly never mean the same for two people, we all have our own subjective experiences that we can never truly share with another person.

I definitely relate to the feeling of 'there's something bothering me. ' It's frustrating. It could be days or weeks later until I realise what was bothering me.

Yes. This. I've seen tons of comments on autims videos like "huh, guess I'm this", but I guess this is my one 😅I've often wondered if I just fail at having the right emotions but I feel I have them with alcohol, which is why it's so important for me to avoid it. Turns out I have the emotions, but I don't realise it, and I do basically realise it later, but it's hard to separate that realisation from a merely theoretical understanding of what I "should" have been feeling, if that makes sense. And yes, sadly, the negative ones are a lot easier. I used to think, "of course I have emotions, I feel sad/lonely/angry so frequently!" ugh.

I definitely resonate with this. I feel emotions so strongly with every thought or action but cannot seperate and decipher them the majority of the time. It mostly feels like anxious overwhelm. I have often mistaken excitement for anxiety until I stop and assess my feelings and then realise they are because I am about to do something nice so it's excitement. They both feel similar. I do feel negative emotions alot more in the form of judgement of myself and also situations I am in. I struggle to tell my partner what these emotions are and why they are there, it is a whole lot of frustration. Thanks for sharing as always.😊

I can absolutely relate to this, especially knowing in a way there is something there in the back of my mind, but I don't understand or can describe what it is. All I know it sometimes almost feels like a volcano about to explode and then it just fades away.

Alexithymia seems to be the autistic theme of the week, considering how frequently I've encountered it on RUclips (perhaps an aftershock of the US election?) That said, it's all led me to question whether autistic emotion ought to be considered wholly separate/different from neurotypical concepts of emotion, because our experiences of it are so distinctive, e.g. autistic joy seems (to me) somehow synaesthetic; it's like an altered state or an imagined magical place (Narnia immediately comes to mind; in which case I strongly identify with that old wardrobe most of the time), perhaps a pure/total state of emotionality, which is otherwise a dull background murmur. In the context of depression I imagine emotion as a somewhat arbitrary weather pattern/system that is just passing through, not objectively "mine" at all but rather something that just happens, like rain falling or a sigh of wind, of which I am aware and subject to but not directly connected. I've found that my emotional awareness is most attuned in natural environments (hiking is practically a religious experience), where I notice myself seeming to stumble upon or journey through a feeling, as though a place without a name. Anyway that's what feels like feelings to me and it just never sounds like the neurotypical description.

I'm self identified autistic for about a year and a half and I'm still learning a lot, and i love that. I don't think i experience alexixythemia, but i can definitely relate with a more often perception of bad feelings than good, i struggle to not internalize them and to being able to validate and focus on the good ones. Maybe because of my past traumas...

This was a lightbulb moment for me. I couldn’t relate to Alexithymia in explanations I’d heard elsewhere. Thank you.

Thank you Lizzie. Great video and great explanation of Alexithymia.

Hi Lizzie! I totally relate, recognizing the feelings of others easier than my own, early loss and bullying priming me to recognizing certain feelings, maybe due to their intensity. I appreciate your explication of a nebulous knowing I am feeling something but not knowing what. Yes, this makes perfect sense. I find that art journaling helps me identify and feel my feelings. And I find that they are so complex, like holographic if that makes sense. So many levels of intensity. My masked self was/is like that too, accommodating if not fawning. I feel absolutely done with fawning and have to be careful not to impulsively respond to situations. I feel a lot of joy, it is like a fountain flowing through me. It is a giddy and childlike experience. However, I think social anxieties impact this default mode of childlike joy. I relate to everything you shared as usual Lizzie!🧡🧡🧡

I must say I resonate

It helps me to have a focal point. It could be music, a textured item in hand, and many times it could be a task. A task or mission can be used as a focal point. Such as focusing on the grocery list and trying to get in and out of the store with the most items in the shortest amount of time.

Finger tip stimulation calms the somatosensory cortex and amygdala emotional signalling. That helps to manage or avoid over stimulation. Textured fidget toys help.

I recently made a note in my phone that says: Try to remember the things that make you happy, light, joyful, and curious

Cannibinoids help the brain to moderate intensity. Less intense emotional signalling is easier to process. Therefore easier to identify.

Totally relate. Haven't been diagnosed yet but I'm in that stage where I'm starting to accept my experiences through an autistic lens, if that make sense. I often have a lag time - almost like my mind is buffering or something - before I can process what I'm experiencing. 42 yr old female, so I've lived my entire life as a withdrawn, sensitive, weirdo - tried my best to fit it but I'm thinking that's not worth it anymore.

Autism is associated with intensity. Easier for me to read others emotions because they aren't mine. On the other hand, my emotions are too intense to process in the normal automatic way. Instead I have to process some or all of them consciously. That can take a lot of mental processing power and more time to do so. The original event is then far removed from the event that caused the emotion. Then I'm not sure exactly what the emotion is because I have no context for reference.

You are so insightful! This was so useful as a mirror to understand the bewildering neutrality that enters my life from time to time. I appreciate you and your channel very much. Thank you ❤

As far as im aware, i dont get this much unless I am over stressed/ in shock. Then I cant work out what i should be feeling. I do think my partner suffers from this though but did not know there is a name for it. She often tells me that her body feels stressed for days without her knowing why because she feels okay. Then she will realise she was feeling really sad for those days. Another great video. I can probably count on my hand every time ive got angry in my life. Its probably like 4 times. 😂 Thats not cos life is easy, its just because i try and resolve things because i know anger will stress myself out. If i ever raise my own voice ill need a rest for a day lol

Oof. I grep up in (western) Germany and have the privilege of XY chromosomes. But ... I had the exact same experience as you in school. And it almost destroyed my life. Even now, 30 years later, so many social situations require an active effort to not trigger a PTSD like reaction. My parents knew how much I was struggling, but they didn't know what to do about it. My teachers knew as well, but they didn't care. Thanks for talking about this 💖

You know what a really big problem is? Support shouldn;'t depend on charity at all in a wealthy country - it should be funded through taxation. Charities exist because of government failure in many ways!

Me too. As a teen girl I loved the music of frank Sinatra and Judy garland and bing Crosby and Doris day This was in the 70’s. Never listened or knew about contemporary music. Everyone thought I was weird. Only music I listened to was from the 40’s and 50’s.

I have a college degree and all my life have worked as teachers assistants in many schools. Also as library assistants with a degree in library science. In one interview I was asked why do you want to be the assistant and not the teacher which you are qualified for. I didn’t know what to say. Now that I know I’m autistic I realize I couldn’t do such a stressful job as being the head teacher and dealing with parents and principals and unruly kids. Or handling big problems at the school or library. I was content being the assistant. The teachers loved me and the kids too. I didn’t have any pressure and could be myself and did a good job. I was never fired but just retired at age 65. Very happy being the assistant. When I was 18 I told my dad that I wanted to be a paraprofessional in NYC where we lived. We didn’t know I was autistic yet and my father said why aim so low. Be the teacher. He didn’t understand.

In relation to this video, I can understand the way you felt with being bullied, as it was the same with me. I would and still will give in to others wishes ordemands as I still have no control to say no to someone. I also have depression which is quick to emerge. Thank you again, Suzanne

This is definitely something I’ve been wondering about 🤔 I’m not sure I ever process/take in emotions until after the fact, anger tends to come more easily than sadness/joy/excitement. I have to feel things are building up in my body and sort of express it later. With sadness I have to be listening to music/watching something emotional and mirroring to the lyrics/feelings of the singer etc and suddenly I’ll be bawling if I need to. But 5 minutes before I could kind of not even know it was there at all. 🤷

very clear, insightful, and relatable: thanks! "itchy brain", finding the "ugly" emotions easier to recognize (in my case, to a fault), live concerts as the only readily identifiable instances of joy-in-the-moment ... yup.

❤❤❤❤❤

I don’t know if it’s the same thing, but I’ve always struggled to explain how I’m feeling. And often when I try to, people get the completely wrong impression of what I’m trying to say. It’s frustrating 😵‍💫

So much recognizing. At some level I am aware of something is going on. But it is elusive, I can’t find the words. As if something needs to be understood first, before I really can experience it. Emotions often express themselves as physical feelings, especially negative emotions. Tightness of the breast, unable to breath freely, only later to be recognized as fear. My brain seems to recognize these bodily sensations but is not able to recognize emotions. Also going from 0 to 100. In fractions of seconds something can change, and I am all anger. Joy and happiness are always on a delayed track. Only some time after the experience a kind of awareness pops up, that it was actually a pleasant thing. I am wired towards the negative. I also have these huge shots of adrenaline or cortisol that only fades away after a long time. And yes, alcohol can get me in touch with feelings so much easier. As if some sort of censor has been deleted by alcohol and I feel a direct access to my emotions. I still struggle with the fact that on one hand I seem to have way too many emotions and on the other hand I have seem to have none of them.

You describe the experience of alexitymia well; I can relate to needing to turn down the volume of certain emotions to turn up the volume on others - It's fascinating how similar our experiences can be and I am definitely still learning what it means for me. it affects my processing of events for sure

I dont know to be honest!. I'm aware of my own despair i know that much🙋‍♂️