The Council Took Away The Magic - Swindon's Lost Magic Roundabout
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- Опубликовано: 25 июн 2024
- #infrastructure #roundabout #driving #swindon #cars
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In this video we look at Swindon's 2nd magic roundabout that everyone's forgotten existed. To be fair, it's been wiped off the face of the earth by a council keen to "make a difference" and it's up to some debate as to whether they've achieved what they set out to. In any case, a lost magic roundabout is surely never a good thing!? 
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![Gunna - back in the a [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/oBrbejOHjLw/mqdefault.jpg)
That’s just a poignant metaphor for 21st century life. All of its magic removed to be replaced with bullshit.
Laughing endlessly over that.....applies to so many things in life, mainly my job
Magic is bullshit.
I like the term bull shit roundabout, but I imagine that it would apply to many rounderbouts as well as many other things too, ahhh fuck it, bullshit idea.
Inshitification
Tory councillors were the one who caused it.
"Today it's had all of its magic removed to be replaced with bullshit."
What a way with words!
"Today it's had all of its magic removed to be replaced with bullshit" - quality line!
Any roundabout with traffic lights is going to suck.
Only if you believe that a roundabout is for the efficient transiting of vehicular traffic! That’s so last century. Nowadays we stop everyone for one pedestrian who, after pushing the button, doesn’t even wait for the lights to change before crossing. Isn’t progress wonderful?😂
If you have to put traffic lights on a Roundabout then a roundabout isn't the junction you should be building lol
Thank you, Jon. I feel like the California road planners are going to roundabouts after enjoying their "magic mushrooms." 😢
Just look at the M271/ M27 junction on this very day, and the past couple of weeks. Because a lot of traffic moves from M271(N-bound) onto M27 (E-bound), very little traffic can move from the M27 (eastbound ) to M271 (SOUTHBOUND). Traffic lights are a necessity @@JetfireQuasar
@@robinwells8879 Speaking as a pedestrian myself, we wait for the lights to change if they do so in a relatively timely fashion and give us at least some hope that they are in fact going to change. Too often these days though they put in pedestrian crossings on roundabouts and junctions that can only change for us on one phase of a a cycle of maybe 6 phases, and inevitably if we have just reached the middle of a junction we only got there from coming over the last pedestrain crossing on the same phase, and so we are pressing the next crossing's button just after the phase we needed for it has just gone. So we either get stranded in the middle of a busy junction for five or more minutes. or we judge for our selfs a moment when nothing seems to be coming on the bit of the road we want to cross. It also doesn't help that the government mandated a few years ago that all new pedestrian crossings have to be the puffin kind, where the pedestrian's signal is at roughly stomach height on their own side, on one of the poles, so if you have two or more people waiting together then you can't see your own signal unless you happen to be the one who is stood nearest to it and are peering under your own elbow to see it. You can pretty much guarantee that the nearest pedestrian to our signal will be paying no attention whatsover and therefore won't tell the rest of us when we can cross. The old pelican type with the pedestrian's signal high up on the other side of the road was far better than what they are required to put in now. Basically when they start designing and installing pedestrian crossings that actually work for pedestrians then we will start using them properly again (though there will always be the one or two twonks out there that doesn''t press the button at all, or thinks it changes instantly like a light switch)
The old design was indeed a whole lot less shitter than the one we now have to endure. I'd also add that the rather large Designer Outlet Village used to empty its car parks rather efficiently with the old design, but nowadays just clags up the new layout that no amount of Dulcolax will ever resolve.
It would certainly help if there was less stupid bus gates around the area too which earn the council a lot of money.
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon, The lost Magic Roundabout of Swindon...... just two of the seven wonders of the world....
A loss not only to the nation but to humanity
@@VectorTracker 😂
Jasper Fforde per chance? Not forgetting the Double Heelix of Carfax.
@@SharpblueCreativeI'm not alone. Thank you.
one of my first ever jobs was working on the hanging gardens of basingstoke
I am amazed that they are now grade 2 listed
Every time the council gets involved in anything they screw it up and it costs a fortune
Don’t tell everyone or you’ll ruin the profitable scam. 😂
Not always screw it up, like near me £5k-£10k to paint a few areas and reduce parking spaces, maybe fine but definitely a waste of money that government and councils are experts at
i live near this roundabout... it sucks. the traffic lights make the traffic way worse than it is without them lmao.
Is there any roundabout that has been improved by the addition of traffic lights?
@@JohnSmithShieldsI mean it is required if it has lots of traffic
That's why I avoid Bruce Street Bridges unless I have no choice.
You live in Swindon. You have our deepest sympathies on a general basis not just because of this there/ not there roundabout.
I agree, this layout doesn’t work, particularly in rush hour
I'll never tire of hearing the line "So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"
Yeah, they screwed it completely. Try visiting it on a busy Saturday afternoon. Pretty much gridlock. I try to avoid it as much as possible these days, but due to the general stupidity of the "traffic flow" around the centre of town, it can be one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" choices. The old design was way, way better. Although people didn't approach it with quite the same caution as the original so it could be a little hairy at times.
Just to add to the fun, this is the same council that a few years earlier were seriously toying with the idea of ripping up Rodbourne Road and Fleming Way (the major arteries of the town centre) and turning them into a canal. Madness
Whato all,
Who, in Hell's name, wants to visit Swindon on any day of the week let alone Saturday?
Few years ago I picked up a New to Me Motorbike from Swindon and had to negotiate the Magic Roundabout at night on a 190mph Motorbike I wasnt used to, lets say I needed several new pairs of boxer's! (Underpants to you!).
I ended up at the KFC and shakily ate an entire bucket of chicken and a large Coke before setting off home to Gtr Manchester. Wasnt my first ride around the Magic roundabout, few years earlier I had passed through Swindon delivering first in Swindon then on to Marlborough.
Great content Jon!
I used to live in Swindon back when this was still a thing. It worked well, and was less intimidating for newcomers or visitors than the other Magic Roundabout. Driving in that part of town was a disaster when they were doing the roadworks, and it didn't get any better once it was completed. Traffic backs up towards Cheney Manor industrial estate in one direction and West Swindon / B&Q in the other direction. Drivers get frustrated when their traffic lights are green due to cars already on the roundabout that are unable to move forward. What used to take seconds to navigate would quite literally take 15 minutes to do. I ended up avoiding the area completely, before moving away from Swindon for good.
I like that "is that a Supra" pop up 😂
A 2020 GT ?
No, it's a BMW Z4
"It's had all of it's magic removed to be replaced with bullshit." I love your positivity, I think it's what keeps me coming back.
I literally live 100 metres from it and remember the 2nd bridge being built and the roundabouts installed and it worked really well ... fast forward 20 years and someone decides to construct this mess, rumour has it they built the empire state building quicker than it took the council to complete the mess that it is today which caused misery for most of swindon for nearly 2 years, all that it's done is worsened the traffic flow and in busy times one of the access roads is gridlocked which it never was with the 5 roundabout system
Jon, In 1982 I was working for a company in Swindon and loaded ash and clinker that had been dumped out of the steam train fire boxes all along the back of Newcombe Drive and the rail line; it must have been thousands of loads, all the material went up to Blunsdon hill road job ( Mears I think) as that was being built at the time, Crappers Bros trucks and me on an MF 450D excavator from EPH Plant, some old guy reckoned that he had seen a german Mersssmit drop a bomb where we were digging, and we had a bomb disposal Sargent there watching what was in the ground, he lodged at the big multi-story Swindon police station, never did find it?
Great channel. Long time watcher, first-time writer.
Did Crapper Bros build the new junction?
@user-lb6yu6ft7v Crapper did the muckshift for Mears at the Cold Harbor pub and there was a Happy Eater there as well I think there was a speedway or dog racing, long time ago
@@user-lb6yu6ft7vWhat a shit question.
I'm playing the drinking game - every time you say roundabout! Wish me luck!
Godspeed 🫡
Pre book an ambulance 🚑 😂
😂😂😂
RIP 😂
In a roundabout way, you sum up all issues related to traffic management, quite effciently Jon. And make it entertaining! Thank you and yes that is a Supra, maybe as an idea, test drive one for the channel? Many thanks, no magic lost on the Auto Shenanigans channel luckily for us highways & byways enthusiasts 😊
By pretending something that didn't work did and complaining that silly fantasy and ideology do not supersede practical decision making?
I guess technically that does fit what you say.
Lived in Swindon for over 20 years. Fortunately I didn't often need to go through that area but the new layout was worse. Unless you use it often it is easy to end up in the wrong lane and taking an exit you didn't want to.
We will ignore the experts at the Road Test Laboratory, and do our own muck up on live traffic and upset everyone in the proces. Then ring more money out of the Council tax payers. Time to vote out some Councillors!
You can rely on councils to take something that works perfectly well and to stuff it up. Only for some other councillors to come along years later to put it back. And so on and so forth. Not that I'm suggesting anything untoward but it seems to me to always be the same road contractors that do the work . Must be a nice little earner .
It is very rare that councillors come up with these sort of schemes. They only ask the council officers to find a scheme which will resolve (traffic) problems.
Instead you get council officers who come up with grandiose schemes that will look good on their résumés. These are very often in medium sized authorities which are used as "stepping stones", the officers concerned usually don't live there and don't work there for very long. Authorities with populations around 200k seem to be optimal targets.
Used to be the idea was to reduce congestion. These days it is to create congestion to discourage car use.
They did a fucking terrible job when they turned it into the single roundabout with a big wart on the side. Never understood why they changed it, I’ve never driven across it and thought ‘this is better’
In all seriousness, as a driver in Swindon most weekdays the the old MRB worked well and was efficient.
The only issue was that because you couldn't see right across the thing (railway lines need support or they sag) some drivers dithered when exploiting it fully.
But the money that was spent later could have gone to simply widening the PCD (Pitch Circle Diameter) to optimal, which would have been different at each mini roundabout.
That would have worked, cost a fraction of the money wasted since, cut pollution from lights and waiting traffic and made going to the industrial site a lot easier and leaving too would be less likely to snarl up as it is today.
I'm a Civil Engineer, designed roads, Bridges, Schools, Hospitals... etc etc.
Make me King and I'll give you all MRBs.
Wickedsweetawesome.
An engineer in government? Now that I would like to see!
Technocracy for the win!
My experience with a County Engineer:
I redesigned a Junction as part of the provision of a new college. It was quite complex and i arrived at their office with drawings and detailed timetables, traffic flow... the full thing.
Whilst waiting I tidied up my notes and I kept hearing this 'whoosh-bang' from the office of the County Engineer.
After a few minutes I was met by another chap who ushered me in... the 'boss' was playing Golf... in the office and the dents in the plaster near the paper showed how good a golfer he was.
It was a huge office, 60ft long at an educated guess and very high ceiling'd, think 'sports hall' and you'd not be far off.
It was all very informal, my drawings were scanned in perhaps 3 minutes and that was it, out the door.
The next day by fax it was ALL approved.
It should take at least a month of hard work to interrogate my proposal, it was a MAIN ROAD.
But I think that was an imposition that might have not helped his handicap.
It was the worst example, but not a singular event!
@@David_Crayford
@@MYCROFTonX Thank you. Very interesting!
@@MYCROFTonX please keep regaling us with these fascinating tales! I'd love to hear more.
What about The Magic Roundabout in Hemel Hempstead ? that’s a laugh in rush hour!
Everyone forgets about that one as its official name isn't the magic roundabout, unlike the one in Swindon.
That's the first one I encountered. It certainly gave me pause for thought the first time I hit it. After that it was great.
If Britain had piles, Swindon is where they'd smear the ointment!
@@bombardygamer4248 It's The Plough Roundabout, but everyone in the area still calls it the magic roundabout. Haven't driven on it since I lived in Harpenden in the 90's, but it worked really well back then, at least.
'make them worse' sums up SBC perfectly. They have an obsession with using traffic lights, an hiding one set behind another and making it one of the worst places to drive.
That Roundabout is the worst thing ever. The road signage suggests you to go into lanes that create traffic when you try to exit because you're blocked in by other vehicles also trying to exit.
It's like someone had heard about the concept of a Roundabout and just thought "yeah, I could probably work this out" and their crayon scribbles came to life like in Penny Crayon.
The magic news of the magic roundabout at Bruce Street Bridges didn’t work too well before the redesign because it backed up considerably on Great Western Way alongside B&Q. There was a few designs mooted and this one was the better of the choices, however it failed because there was supposed to be a whole new Dual Carriageway built behind B&Q linking Great Western Way with Thamesdown Drive, diverting the Northbound traffic away from it, instead keeping the traffic going towards Cheney Manor and Moredon. SBC then decided they were going to half ass the Thamesdown Drive extension by widening small sections of Mead Way, which is in the wrong place and not designed to cope with the traffic.
If they had utilised the S106 money correctly then it would have been successful, but like everything in town, everything is half assed.
The best part about this new roundabout is 10 years later people still aren't sure which lane to use
Distinctly remember driving across this in the early noughties, the signage from some directions only showed 3 of the 4 mini roundabouts, presumably to encourage you to go a particular way round it.
There is a magic roundabout in Colchester and it works really well. I often have a choice of two options depending on traffic. Rarely get held up there.
I had to think where you meant, and then I realised I use it all the time, but it's so good, I don't even think about it. Agreed - "Busy that way? I'll go the other".
I'm not convinced by it. Try getting from Greenstead Road to Colne Causeway (Tesco) any time it's busy. It's a total pain trying to turn right out of Greenstead Road because nearly all the traffic at that mini-roundabout is going around the magic roundabout in one direction or the other, so Greenstead Road gets starved out. And then you have to turn right at the Colne Causeway roudabout, which is a pain because it's dominated by traffic turning right out of Colne Causeway.
But it seems to work pretty well from the other four roads. And I dare say it works better than any alternative junction design.
Love that Google Street View caught a car and a van absoloutely blasting through a red light.
Ahhh ... road improvement schemes - keep those brown envelopes flowing !!!!
Brilliant Jon thank you
Brilliant (as always) Laughed out loud.
I cant get enough of your vids john.
❤
Thanks for the video of Swindon's Lost Magic Roundabout, Jon of Auto Shenanigans! I liked the previous video about Swindon existing Magic Roundabout, I also like this video about Swindon's Bruce Street Bridges Roundabout too and I probably think I like the magic in the Bruce Street Bridges Roundabout as much I like the existing Magic Roundabout as Swindon is the Town I was born in.
Basildon Council did the same where I live in Essex with the Sadlers Farm roundabout. Once a magic roundabout with little issue and not boring, generic, huge roundabout with major congestion issues and hence has been under works for the best part of nearly 16yrs 💀
That was indeed a Supra, nice spot Jon 😂.
I kept waiting for a "dah dida dah dah" and a Spring from Zebedee said Florence.
It's an absolute nightmare at peak times with grid locks - the council really excelled themselves in wasting money on something that had no improvements atall !
Thank you for this, literally laughed out loud, at the video and the comments
"Has anyone had enough of me saying 'Magic Roundabout' yet?"
Never!
Hello again @Autoshenanigans and yes my week was good thank you; all the better for watching these!
I'm thinking you're starting to have enough clout to ask these planners and councils for official comment. I'd love to see a few join you in your videos to explain themselves 👍
“Time for bed.” Said Zebedee.
Hemel Hempstead has a big magic roundabout if u fancy a lovely day out - if u go and actually have a lovely day out let me know how u did it!
On the positive side they did fix the drainage. It used to flood when there was anything more than a heavy mist but it has got through this winter fairly unscathed.
What a nice Birthday present from you John! great work on these videos!
Happy birthday, mate🎂🍺
Happy birthday (if you’re telling the truth) 😂
Yep, I live in Swindon. And yes, the old roundabout was better. A lot better.
The old Bruce Street Bridges junction was much better than what we have now, in my experience. I found it easier to navigate as well as (most of the time) less congested. It wasn't as magical as the real one, though. The layout of 4 mini roundabouts in a square with a noticeable length of road between each of them felt more like 4 separate roundabouts than one single entity. Certainly if you went round it the "wrong" way it didn't feel like going round a central island in the reverse direction, it just felt like going round 2 separate roundabouts.
One thing about the cost - some of the money went on a big drainage improvement. There's a large storage volume under the new junction which takes water from the road drainage when it's on the point of overflowing, so reducing the frequency of flooding in the local area. Since one of the places that used to flood was reputedly the council depo where they kept the heavy kit needed to help unclog drains during flooding, it was quite important to get that fixed. I've no idea why they redesigned the roundabout at the same time.
I'm glad you explained it, I was thinking wtf no more magic roundabout as thought they removed the one that is still there
I remember this, in late 80s and 90s i drove through a few times. Was based in South Gloucestershire, both the magic roundabouts were useful when in one case was going to London and other case visiting Bristol or Bath.
I love these videos, you get a great laugh and they aid digestion too. :))
So instead of 'If it ain't broke don't fix it' it was 'If it ain't broke break it'!
I live in Swindon and totally agree with you John, it was great BEFORE they did the improvements, you could go two ways to get around this roundabout, now it is much slower to get around this once magic and to make things worst, the part time lights come on at the wrong times should be rush hour, not 10 in the morning as I have found out!
My condolences on having to go to Swindon again.
Awesome Video
and here was me expecting you to end the video saying just "roundabout, roundabout, roundabout!"
you're a wizard jonny
It worked much better before the change, particularly at rush hour. The area gets gridlocked easily, and if there is a problem with either Mannington or Blagrove roundabouts in the West side of town, it can be the route most motorists use to avoid them or get back into West Swindon.
It has helped the drainage problems the area has, but I doubt everyone using it at peak times is likely to think about that.
Take a good, working solution (if a few decades old). Add in a second rate graduate in "Road Traffic Management" (or whatever the "degree" is called) who wants to make an early splash in their career by "modernising" the road layout. Mix in some underqualified and somewhat thick councillors who are easily convinced by fancy PowerPoint presentations... and "Bob's your uncle" - the magic is gone, replaced by the joys of unnecessary traffic congestion, with the benefit of added pollution. Pretty much sums up local government in the UK, sadly.
Thanks
What an excellent video, this is a prime example of how councils and the government cannot leave anything alone.
They just have a tendency to alter something and spend money, regardless of whether it's for better or worse, a majority of the time it's worse.
But at least they're seen to be doing something 😂
That's why they never have enough money for basic road / street cleaning / repair / maintenance etc.
Enough said
One of your subs from Swindon.... Bruce Street is awful now. Rodbourne Road frequently gets jammed up as it has to give way twice (once to Kemble Drive and again to the "gyratory system"). While the junction was always going to be a pinch point as so many roads met in the same place, it seemed to work better with its older quad roundabout layout than the "shit show" of today, as you might call it.
Recently, Swindon has had a few modifications to the roads, including the removal of a double mini roundabout for traffic lights (the queues still exist as before) and a road widening project where it took two years to widen a road that is barely half a mile long.
Other Magics exist in Hemel, under junction 1 of the M40 and at Hatton Cross (Heathrow)
I live in Swindon. Rodbourne is a joke to navigate through.
awesome video
"And sure, why not add some traffic lights whilst you're there" - just sums up Swindon in one sentence!
Having lived in the town for 28 years, Bruce Street Bridges has always been a problem with congestion, especially at rush hour. Something needed doing, for sure. The new design is appalling though, and has made things worse. The local newspaper ran an April Fools' article not long after it was completed, announcing that they had screwed it up and were going to bring the original (magic) design back. Sadly, it was more believable as a fact than a joke!...
It's a shame they don't have more, I do enjoy a quick game of Magic the Chav'ering.
Oh, oh, ohh, they're magic! You knooooooooooow, never believe they're not so.
As a local, I never had the pleasure of the old magic roundabout there, but I have always thought that particular bit of road was awfully designed...
Cool drinking game idea, shot of whiskey every time ‘roundabout’ is said
I live near it. You can tell how the new configuration is so much better by how much more people use their car horns on it.
No wonder Honda closed their factory in Swindon. Demolition has just started there. It's such a shame. ☹️
I cycled round the original Magic Roundabout when I lived in Bath. It's a long time ago now, but I remember it fondness. It worked.
Think you should get an award for the end of video music choices squire! Keep up the good work.
Years ago, proposed road changes were often presented to the local Driving Instructors' Association for comment. Lots of minor changes made,and generally things worked well. Then that stoped, and most new road layouts since have flaws that could have been avoided.
When the Bruce Street improvements were proposed, there was a public exhibition of three plans. All three proposed only two lanes all around, significantly reducing the flow. Many instructors attended, and filled out the feedback forms. What we got was the best compromise of the three plans, with added lanes, but still worse than the original.
I passed my test in Swindon in 1998 and was told in plain terms that on the test I WILL be going on the Magic Roundabout (MR) and everyone who takes a test does so. my last 4 lessons went on the MR from every direction and even in school time rush hour. on the test it was actually very easy and I have zero issue on it from this day.
We have a local " Roundabout" it was a small roundabout, which was OK but they needed to add more exits so it was extended, and that was fine. Then they put traffic lights on it and it became, as I heard someone recently say, "Bullshit". The really fun part is occasionally the lights fail, and the traffic flow improves greatly but no-one on the council seems to notice.
Bloody hell, I used that roundabout loads of times when I briefly lived in Swindon around 2000, but because of the infrastructure and that huge viaduct in the middle, never thought of it as a "magic roundabout " at the time.. I do remember thinking, as I drove past a large queue in the left lane, why they all queued up to go the long way round the viaduct, when they could quickly turn right instead.?
Thanks John, now I am enlightened.
Before the work, it flooded, all the time. It was common to check the status about 4pm before leaving the office if it had been raining.
If Britain had piles, Swindon is where they'd smear the ointment!
Every time I watch your videos I just have a laugh 😂
"Why did you take away the magic roundabout?" said Dougal......
"Eff off" said Swindon Council...
Hemel Hempstead still has a magic roundabout its great fun
“There are two ways of doing things, the Great Western way, or the wrong way” Duck must be surprised that this town found a way to do both!
There was/is one in Colchester - surprised you didn't catch it on your recent Essex roads tour....love your work :)
Still there.
Left Swindon two years ago; they must have been ripping this out just as we first moved there. The junction is now very poor at times but we missed it so I can't compare. I would say that the Magic Roundabouts are good for locals but people coming through Swindon are often quite alarmed by them as of course they have no experience with them (unless they come from one of the select other towns that have one).
Swindon has many bad roundabouts. The one at the junction of Station Rd and County Rd seems to have been carefully landscaped to reduce visibility to your right to the minimum possible. And then there's the one opposite the Shell station on Rodbourne Rd; it's just nuts when things are busy. There are many others...
"Is that a Supra?" 😂😂😂 epic editing hahahaha
So a quadruple mini roundabout? A Peugeot drivers’ nightmare!!
Excellent Paul Daniels outro 🙂
remember being stuck here for like 3 hours after school on a bus one day
There’s precious little magic in Swindon as it is - the council extracting joy again!
I think the one thing I would give this new version of BSB is that it's less confusing about which lane you should be in - so many times I saw cars cutting across lanes with the old design, possibly because you don't have full line-of-sight of your destination like the actual Magic Roundabout (but also the signage was poor and the lines were faded which didn't help). However, it was massively disruptive when the rebuild took place and there's definitely far more backing up now. Quite a few of the roundabouts from the M4 up to Elgin Drive have always felt a bit sketchy though, but hey, that's Swindon :'D
I do live in Swindon and your video and commentary is about as accurate as can be. Many £M spent and lots of disruption (it took several years to complete) and it is not better.
good afternoon jonny after mentioning the swindon⭕ no wonder it was known as the magic ⭕ you mentioned roundabout sorry ⭕. approx 34 times well done jonny great video as usual 👏👏
This was a much better magic roundabout too because the small roundabouts were further apart and hidden behind a railway embankment, so easier for new people to concentrate on each one in turn and not be distracted by the general terror of four or five roundabouts merging like a MegaZord.
There's one in Hemel Hempstead too. Frightening first time you see it but brilliant after that.
There seems to be lot of talk of "Magic Roundabout" in this video
I did not get that impression.
Boing!
I've driven on the Magic Roundabout; it is truly a magic roundabout. More places should have magic roundabouts. Hearing that there are more Magic Roundabouts roundabout put a little magic back into my life.
@@simong9067"Time for bed" said Zebedee
at 1:25 it is interesting to see the tyre markings on the road showing heavy usage paths through the roudabouts.
A bit of Paul Daniels goes a long way to cheer us all up!
I used to live at the top of Bruce Street if you had got the drone any higher you would have seen my bungalow next to the school. We sold up and moved to Devon just as that reconstruction started and so glad we did. The town I live near now has 5 roundabouts in total, But I was on Davidstow F1 track in Cornwall last weekend it's just a stones throw over the boarder !
"Mum, I'm off to Swindon."
"Ok, if you're not back by nightfall, I'll call out the national guard and get the sniffer dogs out!" 😂