He does not say I LOVE YOU - Understanding male psychology
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
- My husband does not love me because he does not say I love you when I do.
Do men have no emotions?
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Personally, as a woman I wasn't saying it. Until I learn of the Hadith where the prophet ASWS advized a companion that when he loves someone he should go tell the person. And it is also a sunna to tell "I love you fillah" and the person will answer" May the One you love me for, loves you in return". And the messenger of Allah SAWS wasn't shy to say that he love 'Aisha RA and Abu Bakr also. So I don't believe that it is a question on "male" or "female" but only of emotional intelligence and trust. My husband is not shy to tell me he loves me and I tell him also and( any body interested lol) that I love him. Although word affirmations is not our primary love language. It doesn't make him less of a respectable men to tell his wife he loves her and it very appreciated. And other love languages has been encouraged in the sunna like giving presents, greeting people etc. Alhamdulillah for Islam. Lets just stick to it.
I generally agree to what the brother is saying mashallah.
You don't but others do, me and my Friends especially when i was student
Thank you!
Waiting for brother saajid lipham typing 'i love you akhi' on the comment 😂
LOL
I honestly wouldn’t want to go a day without telling my wife I love her. There are no guarantees we will live to see another day. If you feel something I think it’s good to express it.
Really
My late husband never said it, too. But he showed me every day, that he loved me in other ways. I was happy with that!
May Allah have mercy on him and forgive his sins.
My hubby dosent say it but he is the best in the world. Caring sweet and a reaponsible father and a husband we hv been married for 20 yrs now ..alhamdhullilah.
I think actions speak louder than words so I rather show I love someone than to say it
@Ismail ok
A hundred percent. But you also have to keep in mind that people feel loved in different ways. Those who like to hear the words “I love you” frequently, receive love through words of affirmation. It’s essential to get to know your partners love language-how they receive & show love, so you can meet their needs & understand them better
@@cocoa7448 yes
@precizion their not necessarily “needy,” they just feel loved in a different way. We can all become “needy” if our partner lacks showing love through our primary love language
@precizion I wholeheartedly agree! That’s were our attachment styles come into play. Having a secure attachment style in a relationship is a must for it to be healthy. Those who have a secure attachment know how to regulate their emotions, communicate effectively, & have a sense of self/self-focus as their worth isn’t dependent on the other person
My husband often tells me he love me.
Honestly I don't use that word loosely. Because I was brought up in a house where it's weird to say it. I rarely hear it from my parents, so just talking to my friends I don't say "I love you" it's like that awkward situations. Even my friends they don't just blurt out "I love you" because they feel like that's for a more serious relationships. The fact that you say women say the "I love you" too loosely I don't not have that experience with my friends. I find it weird too as a female.
Alhamdulilah I don't have a problem in my relationship and that's from the mercy of Allah.
Samee I don't like saying it so casually either. But at the same time I feel like I'm heartless because of that :') I just don't feel that much of an attachment to many of my friends
Quran 2:165 is clear.
Al-Baqarah 2:165
وَمِنَ ٱلنَّاسِ مَن يَتَّخِذُ مِن دُونِ ٱللَّهِ أَندَادًا يُحِبُّونَهُمْ كَحُبِّ ٱللَّهِۖ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَشَدُّ حُبًّا لِّلَّهِۗ وَلَوْ يَرَى ٱلَّذِينَ ظَلَمُوٓا۟ إِذْ يَرَوْنَ ٱلْعَذَابَ أَنَّ ٱلْقُوَّةَ لِلَّهِ جَمِيعًا وَأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ شَدِيدُ ٱلْعَذَابِ
And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they [should] love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah. And if only they who have wronged would consider [that] when they see the punishment, [they will be certain] that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is severe in punishment.
Quran App:
#GreentechApps
On top of that the only women who would say "I love you" are those who were drummed into saying it or expecting something significant in return.
@@ummerfarooq5383 so husbands and wives aren't suppose to say 'I love you' to each other?
@@ummerfarooq5383 you should not generalize all
@@angelinataherin3102 the quran is the truth. Fake love is dead
May father he always says to my mather I love you so much Yaa Khadiija 🤣❤️
He’s a good man!
Allahuma bareek lahum
Awwwww that’s so sweeettt allahumma baarik
This might be a difference in culture, in Khaligi Arab culture the expression of love is way more common and sweet words. And softness is not a tabu or frowned on. And we have soo many ways of expressing love
Yes very true
Very true! When I lived in Saudi, it was very common to hear my Saudi friends calling their brothers/father ‘habibi’ and using sweet words. It was nice!
It takes me a lot to say “I love you”, I prefer to show through my actions.👌🏽
Are you a Bangladeshi by any chance?
Most of your videos,I have always wanted to voice opinions on it, but am too shy to do so
it surprises me to find someone who shares so accurately same ideas and thoughts on similar matters... honestly...
I almost wrote a book on this topic, but procrastination again? It’s a big task
My sister stop thinking about stuff and just start writing or saying whatever comes to your head. When it's proofread time then you can do more research, but I'm sure women would benefit from a woman's view on the matter
I am married 14 years i am 33 years now. My husband never said I love you . As a woman this is painfull. Me as a woman i dont say i love you anymore. I like to say it to my husband because i do love HIM . But because he does not say it , i cant say it anymore. When i asked HIM hè was laughing hè said words dont mean anything to me . Actions are more importend . To me the 2 are importend 🤯😒
Maybe he shows you love through other ways? You said that he said ‘actions are more important’.
From the 5 Love Languages, Acts of Service is one of them, in which your husband may be expressing himself to you.
And you’re expecting it in another form > Words of Affirmation (another love language).
And Allah knows best...
Isn't it love when he talks to you nicely? Isn't it love when he looks at u and smiles?
Isn't it love when he wants to spend time with u and go out with u?
Isn't it love when he corrects you?
Isn't it love when he buys u something u like?
All this entails love, without saying the three words.
It's the things we take for granted.....
Some women are waiting for their husbands to look and smile at them. Some are waiting for their husbands to take them out and spend time with them. Some don't get gifts. Some don't get intimacy. Some don't get phone calls from their husbands. Some don't get a kiss or a cuddle or any kind words. Think about that.....you are very fortunate if u get any kind of love.
as a man I tell you I don't say love in words I take care of my wife that is my love expression. but ask him to express in words he'll do it for your sake.
The women's call "love you okay honey kisses" part made me laugh🤣I'm not this sort of girl but I"ve seen my friends do that with me and I feel awkward😂
One of my childhood neighbors name was afsanah I think she lives in the UK
@@Ricestlover aww that's so sweet💟 I reminded you of her.
@@afsaneh4340 u definitely did
It’s a nice name though such as Zahra, ruqaiya, Sarah and afsanah
@@Ricestlover Jazak Allah yes it is
RESPECT IS love....
We need to get out of this Bollywood Disney loved up MUSH.
If my man fixes my car, he loves me.
If he picks up some groceries, he loves me.
At the end of the day, as the years go on...if my man and I can sit down together and have a cup of tea...then I KNOW there is something special...we don't have to say it, but I KNOW it's there.. :)
Allah yujzeek Yaa HashTag! 😅
Exactly this what you call true understanding.
Allah bless you and your man,sister.
So your love language is acts of service?
@@rereraira4863 many a times that's how we express our love but not all the times
My husband finds it easier to use love and the emotional language more. I have a hard time saying it
I mostly agree as a man. A big thing how men express love is trough intamicy, kissing, hugging and the actual act. We have to understand that men and women are different and have other ways to express their feelings
True!
However that’s why Allah sent the prophet aallallahu allayhi wa salaam, so men must try and emulate he (saw ) as much as possible. He was never afraid to express his feelings to his wives.
@@Zazezoo It is the only way to bond intimacy, otherwise we are like animals. Humans have speech!!
Many men do say I love you!
@@aliay2743 I agree with you. I don’t understand how a man can expect intimacy without sweet words and telling his wife he loves her.
@@anesjemal8873 Exactly! Some men are very strange, so we must be careful whom we accept as our spouses. They want you to pour your heart out but struggle to use the most simple words.
😂😂😂😂😂 As a female I have NEVER said "I love you" to a friend, and my friends have never said that to me. We have never said "I miss you" either but we do use "Hun, Sis and Girl" as a term of endearment.....Other than that interesting advice.
Guuurl I thought I was the only one who does this 😂😂😂 idk i just feel awkward saying those things lolol
Samee 😂😂
@@zahraahmed7999 😂😂
@@Someone-vz2bo Same!
Precisely this, as a woman have never used ‘I love you’ loosely with friends or otherwise. Not even with my best friends. This generalisation sounds like something out of a Hollywood chick flick not reality.
I know you put a disclaimer out so appreciate. But it is an over generalisation.
Agree that women may use words a of affirmation more than men and it’s important that husband and wife meet the others needs.
All this I think is best to learn each others love language if saying I love you makes the female to feel that she is loved he needs to make an effort to do that and the same to the females if sleeping with you makes your husband feel that he is being loved then lady supposed to put an effort on that. Its not fair if the lady is fulfilling his sexual needs of a man even the lady is not in the mood of it but she still do it to make him happy then why can't he put an effort to make her happy too. And if that saying I love u is very simple just even if u don't mean it because it's just going to bring peace.
Yes, it's the Sunnah of the Prophet pbuh to say nice kind loving words to the wife to make her feel loved.
Very well put!
Exactly, I find it odd that women should understand that men aren't like that, rather than saying men should start getting into the habit of saying it and saying it sincerely. Yet a woman shouldn't reject her husbands physical advances and should understand that's how they express love.. very odd advice, imo. It definitely should go both ways.
In Bangladesh, the husband never says " I love you " to their wife(someone can say). I never heard that my father told my mother " I love you ", but I know how much he loves my mother.
In Asia its mostly like that
Same.
My father says words means nothing.
Actions speak louder than words.And that is a fact.
Yes, thank you brother Gabe. It’s hard for me to say it. I really wish they would understand it.
You should take a look at Muslim Skeptic channel he is doing a live on gender roles and he mentioned you
Yea I appreciated Daniel defending brother Gabriel. As he should be defended.
daniel and gabriel are one of the few real muslims not brainwashed by liberal ideology
Yes alhamdillah they aren’t scared to speak the truth
I'll check that out, thanks for mentioning. :)
That was a really long podcast yesterday
Everyone has their own love language
I agree with Brother Gabriel women do use these words with each other, but un some cultures they don't
The Prophet SAW used to eat and drink from the same spot as Aisha RA, bathed together, he would rest his head on her lap , comfort her, be very patient with her.
This is all the example you need as a man.
Perfect man... Your actions made me laugh subhanallah ... Barakallahu feek
You are a very realistic and reasonable imam MaShaAllah
Jazakallahu khairan brother that was such valuable content to me. Barakallahu feekum.
Keep up the good work brother Gabriel, JazakAllah Khair.
3:32 😅😂 that would be so weird
I think it is more about the personality because women in Egypt are usually harsh and don't like cute and emotional words because they were raised to be responsible for everything which is absolutely wrong and for me islam really pushed me to be more emotionally fluent and prophet was very romantic and lovely and appreciating so the take here that we need islam to change us
I am an Egyptian woman and trust me, it’s not always the case, most girls actually want a romantic guy, that expresses his love
@@shroukahmed2176 أسأل الله أن يرزقك زوج صالح ان شاء الله
@@yousoufessa2438 و إن شاء الله يرزقك زوجة صالحة
you are true Egyptian woman are very rough. I don't hate them but surprise
The way u impersonate the woman voice
O brother lol
U are truly amazing soul
Great video and topic brother Gabriel
Brother you should do a video about the 5 love languages
Actions speak louder than words,in my humble opinion.I mean it is good to hear these words but if actions doesn't prove these words then there gonna be trust issues
Assalamu Alaykum Brother..I was wondering how can I reach you in private?
I have an important matter to discuss and need advice on. Perhaps it can be shared on a video of yours too for others to maybe relate and benefit from.
JazakAllah Khair
Assalamu aleykum. If you go on his Facebook page, you can have access to his councelling session in shaa Allah. I recommend it
@@arielle-nadyak.camara6460 Wa Alyjum Assalam Thanks so much, jazaki Allah khairan
@@yaladdin86 wa iyyak
First world problems .
Allah humma baarik dearest brother sometimes I find you really funny but it's true what you say subhaanAllah may Allah subhaanahu ta aala bless protect guide help reward and increase you in abundance with all forms of goodness Aameen thumma Aameen 🤲💝🤗💐 love you for the sake of Allah subhaanahu ta aala fromm the UK 💯🤲💝
MashaaAllah you are an intelligent person with clear thoughts
7:00 true, it's harder and weird when you grow up like that
Ur so right & really like it.
My husband only rately says that. But he does show his love... yeah sometimes i wish he would say it too....but its still better this way,then him saying it and not acting as he does
lol i think it doesn't apply for the arabs ..they have their ways with the words .. they speak fluent love .. in my country algeria we worn our women to not fall for their sweet talk .. they have it in their genes .. they are the descendants of the greatest poets of all times .
I didnt say it first with my ex fiance. Yes we didnt reach marriage. I have a more mature and responsible mind but i want someone even more mature and responsible. A godly man who can actually teach me something. And admirable who i would like to follow.
Salam brother Romani , I know it's become common for women to talk about rights , unfortunately alot of men are becoming gold diggers
I find it a bit cold to not respond with 'I love you' if the wife says it.
I don’t really say that I love you but I show that I love my wife
Very well! That’s exactly how it should be.
@Азамат Хашагульгов no she know what kind of guy I am.
حلقة رائعة قرأت كتاب الرجال من المريخ والنساء من الزهرة كتاب قيمة اعجبني ... تماما كما قال الكاتب يذهب الرجال الى كهوفهم وتثرثر النساء انصح كل شخص ان يقرأه فيه تفهم الاختلاف بين الرجل والمرأة وبعدها ستعرف كيف تتعامل مع الجني الاخر مع اني عزباء اتمنى من الله ان يرزقني زوجا صالحا متفهما طيبا وخلوقا 😁☺بإذن الله
Arab men alwayssss say habibi to eachother
I say I love you to my kids multiple times a day and often to my friends and did everything time I saw my dad when he was alive and all the time in marriage too. Honestly have never closely known anyone who didn’t say it regularly to the people they love. Just seems normal to say it and strange (though not “wrong”) not to.
You ared absolutely right bro😂
I don’t know sometimes you show your love lot to someone she or he take advantage or feel you are desperate
Walaikumsalaam
Well explained 👍
You are geniuse
Me and my husband are the opposite then lol
I felt and still feel awkward about the 'i love u' statement
My husband says it alot and it takes me a couple moments to reply (I love him alot!) I feel uncomfortable even with my girlfriends convos ...But it kinda stems into the childhood we experience
I was raised to take on a male type role from a young age and to be stern as my father wanted a son and not a girl
And so I tried filling that role and as a result became abit rough and tough in my nature even though i have alot of feminist traits i can understand its got to do with the 'male' stereotype but there's nothing wrong with it, Infact it brings about a balance in the relationship
May Allah give you and your husband a long fulfilling marriage
Ameen
How old is brother Gabriel?
37
@@usmanbinabdurrasheed5949 jazakallahu kheir.
This guys is so funny 😂😂
Assassins alaikum, please share advice on how to display healthy relationship and in particular affective between the husband and wife in front of their children. What are the limits?
Jazakallah khairan for your solutions to problem.
I love your question and am curious about it too. I think it is not a big deal. Rasul SA would do romantic stuff like when wife would drink from cup he would turn cup to where they drank from and drink from there.
But I don't know if this was in front of kids but really I don't see the problem. We know from hadith we should kiss and hug our kids equally. Don't see why kissing and hugging wife in front of kids would be disallowed.
After kid is like 1yr+ then anything more than that should probably be done out of their sight, but that's just common sense right?
totally agree.
I think if my future husband said that he loves me I would probably get a cringe
What do you think about Brene Brown?
He clearly hasn't heard of PNS
What is it
When your Man say I love you that mean he fed something up
Question: what names do spouses call each other? Example I heard it’s not good to call your spouse by their name.
I’m a man who is not married. But I wouldn’t use “I love you!” or similar wordings. I’m greedy in love wordings and expressing love through spoken language even to my own family members. I couldn’t say something like that to my father. Maybe it’s easier for me to say it to my mother or to my little brothers and sisters and young relatives. I have a little brother in the age of 3 and he sometimes approaches me after I’ve done a favor to him and says “I love you!” (Of course in Arabic). Of course then I’m telling him that I love him as well.
But I don’t like expressing these feelings through my tongue generally.
I wish you’d have made this video earlier before me khula 😥😢
Our “I love you” is made in Germany
China*
If a husband comes home from a trip and OVERLOAD her wife with I LOVE YOU - she will finally say - "Honey, are you sure you are ok? " or " Tell me now, what happened?"...
@J grow up
@J Allah is my judge. I submit to Him only. Fear Allah .. or go and comment on vids for cartoons.
@J you seem to be taking out your personal frustration on internet.. Buy a punching ball and fear Allah. Also we need to have hope that Allah will cure our misconceptions.
Finally what started as a funny story (not my personal experience) ended with exchange of words because a kid took internet too seriously.
Sheik Uthaymeen may Allah has mercy on him was right. There is more harm than good in internet. Fear Allah about it. Ramadan is coming. Get hold of OURSELVES and sharpen our imaan. May Allah guide us all.
@J if the ideology of the salaf is fitna then what are you? One of those grave worshippers.
Allah الله
I love you for the sake of Allah bro. ❤️
Tru said.
Subhanallah Yaa Rabbi 🤣😂😂😁🐆
Kalam al-haqq!
You are totally wrong about this topic majority of the women don’t just throw the word just like that. When you say that generally that means majority of the will men does that but that is not the case. In fact it is the other way around.
At the and of the day all this Is about the sicology of men and women, i think men can't un nderstand women
Why can't women be understanding for men. Why is it always men that should "understand"
Ahhahahahah so many honey and darlings ...
golden rule with women , the less you do for her the more she will do for you , provide but always keep it on edge
Gotcha! U mimicking female on the phone, that’s feminine... 🙃
dear husband: if you love me don't say it , just prove it , love to me is the physical things, such as money,gold , car, ets , ets . this is how women think of love , including me.
Are you being sarcastic or serious?
@@aarfeenanees9147 me ! I am Completely serious.
Verbal reassurance is important to many people even if it weren't for you. Showing it with actions does not mean you cant say it too. You can do both if your partner needs that sort of verbal reassurance too.
Ummmmm, giving gifts is indeed sunnah, but when you get into the territory of gifts of cars and gold.... then just know that you can't take it with you to the grave. You might die tomorrow. Then only your deeds, including how you behaved with others, can help you. If you raised good kids who pray for you, taught others good stuff, or gave to lasting charity projects that may keep helping you as well. But the "money, car, gold" definitely won't
We can see who loves Dunya from who loves Akhirah. How do we reconcile with the verses in Surah Ahzāb where the mothers of the believers were given an ultimatum when they asked for money; either to divorce and have Dunya, or stay and have Akhirah?
laying it on thick eh
eveything is reversed
Man there should be teams of 20 go to gay bar vs 100 gays.
Lefts right up down them all they just dont understand.