Stay At Home Lonely Mom | HANG IN THERE, JOY IS ON THE WAY!
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- Опубликовано: 23 авг 2024
- Heart to heart talk about loneliness in motherhood and as a SAHM. I've experienced deep sadness and loneliness as a stay at home, work from home, and homeschool mama but over the years something shifted and I have a special message of hope for mama's going through seasons of loneliness.
I loved having spent most of my time as a homemaker with my 3 kids and did struggle with loneliness from time to time. At 53, I struggle more than ever with loneliness. The “kids” are now in their 30S and doing well, but life has spread them all over this country and they are busy with their own families/life. I wish I could go back to those exhausting, full of life and love days when they were kids. ❤😢
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I couldn't agree more! My 6 are age 25 down to age 10. I wish I could go back in time and tell younger me how FUN & JOYFUL older kids, teens, and adult kids are. The world convinces us that those years are going to be even worse than the toddler years. Not true! Sow into those relationships, and you will have a tribe of interesting & fun people to hang with!
one of the wonderfully unique things about you is that you still remember what its like in baby or very little years even though you are no longer in it. I find this very rare bc it seems as soon as people are out of baby season they forget how hard it is. I am deep in the trenches with baby 7 on the way and my oldest is 9. I feel like so few people get it - but I can still come and get encouragement here because somehow you still get it. appreciate you. I speak blessing over you and prosperity in this ministry on youtube to other moms.
Almost four years ago our family made the decision to go down to one vehicle. We were nervous and overwhelmed by what may or may not happen during that/this time. People had a lot of comments about "while what are you going to do in case of an emergency?...." These questions and others were on our mind. However during this time it has been absolutely wonderful the closeness that we have. Being home and not having the option to leave and be distracted have blessed us so much. It really showed us how the Lord used this hard finical time to encourage us in many ways with our relationships. Now with our oldest almost 16 it has been something I could never imagine. Everyone keeps talking about "teens" and how they are so difficult (I dislike this way of thinking completely). We learned to share, respect one another , become extremely creative, be more compassionate, be silly, talk about everything, sense when someone isn't themselves, encourage personal growth, slow down and enjoy little things... I had to open my eyes and understand that it was ok to be lonely. I spent probably the first year not realizing this. It really was hard doing things alone. But I am such a better mom, women, and wife because of the strength that God so openly shared with me. God is always good. Even in the loneliness.
Yes! I read on a blog years ago when my kids were younger that you will not see all the fruit of the first 10 years of parenting until the second 10 years, and that has been true for me. The investment is legit, but so is the payoff. Great testimony!
So true!
Sometimes our children don't recognize or receive all the hard work and love and devotion we poured into them sadly. Things don't always turn out the way we imagined but the lonely parenting years God uses to teach and develop our character and nothing is ever done in vain or wasted. God uses everything for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. Do everything as unto the Lord no matter what and you won't ever loose. That's always been my heart throughout my life and it's kept me safe and secure in God's goodness and love. People around us can let us down, even family members, but the Lord is always there beside us and sticks closer than a brother, no matter what!
This video came at exactly the right moment. I'm coming to the end of my first year of homeschooling - I have four children, ages 2-12 and another on the way. We have one car that my husband uses for work and are on a tight budget so we spend an awful lot of time at home with no friends or family locally and no homeschool co-ops (homeschooling is relatively niche in the UK) and I have been so so very lonely. I love God and I love my family and it does get me through, but there are days when I feel like a shadow person, just going through the motions. It is so good to hear from women who have gone through the same thing and can promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel ❤
I'll be a "virtual" friend! 👏🏼💃🏻
I agree. Shayla's channel is my very FAVORITE!!!❤
I'm in Australia and its the same here. I didn't home-school and that's one of the reasons, my child needs a lot of company and I just couldn't provide it. I just had an idea though, maybe you could start on online coop where you can school on video or where parents can chat on video or in text? I know it's hard because everyone is so busy.
I love these little videos so much. ♡ And your choice of music is gorgeous!!
Recently, I have the opposite problem. I’m an introvert, and being around my loud toddlers, and my crying newborn is too much people time for me. I love them, but I feel like if I got some more time by myself in actual quietness, I could love them better.
I haven't tried them but I've heard those loop earplugs are pretty good. They just cut down the sound. For whatever reason, for some people the constant noise stimulating the brain is exhausting.
@@labradorite8256 Yes. Misophonia exists, among many other things.
this video is coming at a great time for me…my husband is a police officer and is currently on night shift rotation. days he works in only see him for about 45 mins. days he is off he sleeps till 4pm. (he is also on SWAT which takes even more time away…) i cried last night telling him how lonely i was. it was hard explaining to him how i could be lonely when i have a little one with me all the time. it’s all temporary but it is definitely difficult.
Having conversations with a child is not the same as having conversations with an adult. You are taking care of the child, not having an equal friendship. Men can't expect to leave you alone with a child or children and for you not to feel lonely for adult conversation and company.
That is really hard. For the first 12 years or so of our marriage my husband worked as a farm hand and so for 3/4 of the year we barely saw him, and it was so, so hard on us all. I hope the season is short that it is like this for your family. May the Lord sustain you all through it!
@@mountainmamashome your guys life story is inspirational for sure. if you were able to overcome your struggles, i know i can too…just gotta have faith and put it in Gods hands! bless you and all that you do.
I lived this life too! My husband, being a diesel mechanic (tractor trailers), always worked afternoon shifts because that is when the trucks are back in the warehouse. He often worked 14 hour days with a 45 minute drive. He was coming to bed as I was getting up. 1/2 of saturday was spent in sleep for him. The rest of his time off was occupied by lawn mowing, fixing our often broken down vehicles, house renovations, any errand running or family gatherings. felt like I never saw him. I went to bed every night feeling very lonely & sometimes scared, for real. I live in the middle of nowhere & would be scared that he would not make it home, or there would be bad weather or if a kid got sick, etc...And not to be TMI, but there was very, very little intimate time - because we were NEVER alone! Everything we did had to be 'scheduled'. I had no one to leave my kids with & no $ to go do much of anything. My husband would get annoyed because he would be literally exhausted & I would be chatting & begging to go do 'something' or wanting to go visiting, etc...I would have all these things bottled up all week until I saw him & I would just inundate him. he would tell me that I was overwhelming him. Sometimes he would tell me it was like coming home to a house full of toddlers. I learned some self control & he learned to be more tolerant & understanding over the years. NOW, life is drastically different. We hung in there. Our 2 kids are almost grown. We are young (43 & 46) and can come & go as we please. He paid his dues at his job & finally moved up in pay & to a day shift. Plus all those years made me TOUGH & I learned to love just being me & being with 'me' & being with my kids. It is difficulty & I could have probably filled a kiddie pool with all the tears I cried. But I just hung in there & tried real hard to make the little time I DID see my husband count. And I always keep in mind; "This too shall pass". I say that alot & there is a lot of hope in that phrase. I hope you hang in there. It won't always be like this. My advice, find a slightly older lady to befriend. One that misses having little ones around. You will be amazed at what can blossom from that; I am living that right now. I have befriended a few younger women & I take their kids off their hands, help them with projects & am just a shoulder to cry on. I am literally living my best life right now.
This got me to remembering what my motherhood journey was like way back in the 1970s. We were a young USAF family stationed in Germany living in a small village about 12 miles from the Air Base. Three littles 6,4,2. One car, no phone, no American neighbors. Talk about lonely. Once a month, or so, I’d get a visit from some nice German Jehovah Witness ladies. Lol, they gave up trying to persuade me, but we became friends and I’d bake cookies for them. I honestly don’t remember feeling lonely. I’ve always been a reader and that’s what I did a lot of in free time. Of course we had no tv and no internet! Much different these days. I’m enjoying my large family…8 grands and now 3 soon to be 4 great grands.
I urge you to look into what you are actually saying when you refer to children as the L word.
Hint: gross "adult" stuff
New subscriber. Looking forward to your channel and journey. God bless you all and many prayers 🙏🏻 Nurse Judi in Scottsdale AZ and Eucharistic Minister 🙏🏻 ☦️ 💙 ❤️
Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this. It created a beautiful thread of conversation and support ❤️
I always feel so uplifted when I watch your videos and they are always so edifying, vs watching something just to watch it. Love you! ❤
What a beautiful video. Thank you for your sweet spirit and good godly advice...God bless you all...Sherri-Idaho
I’m glad to see you thriving. I remember how much you have been trough from your first videos. It is really inspiring. Best wishes ❤
Needed this!! Feel so alone with 4 kids. I appreciate all you other Mamas 💖
I love being a mother and wife. I have 7 children 2 nuerodivergent, life is challenging but worth all of the sacrifice.
Very well said, and so true.
I am a SAHM to a one year old and my husband works 7 days a week most weeks and gets home late. He is working hard SO THAT I am able to stay home and it is worth it to us, but it’s also very lonely at times.
Love this. Thanks Shayla ❤
Well said Shayla. Ty.
Thanks for sharing.
Who sings the rejoice in the name song? I absolutely love your music, my kids love it too lol
Rejoice (Forever and Always) - Gamma Skies feat. Christine Smit
Bam! I'm a little further along on my journey than you, and I couldn't agree more. When my children were young, my life was so labor intensive, but it was a labor of love. Now, it's not so intensive, just overwhelming love and support.
I also would much rather be with my kids than any other person or group❤
Beautiful video ❤
Oh man I was SO SO SO lonely when I was raising my two oldest when they were tiny and I was in my mid twenties since no other people in my life were doing that yet. I should have tried to find older women to hang out with but I didn't think to do that back then.
Thabks for making this video. Tye timing was perfect.Been feeling lonely and overwhelmed.
Even if it's one child it can be very lonely. I had this discussion with another parent of only one child after the 2 years of lockdowns here in Australia. Eveyone assumes one child is easier which makes you feel even more isolated. But you become the sole focus of that child for every single need. Sure, they're not squabling with a sibling but that doesn't mean its quiet and peaceful. And add in no family help, trying to work from home and going through menopause, its a nightmare. All i see is loneliness and fatigue with more loneliness when he grows up as the dim gloom at the end of the tunnel.
I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. I will say a prayer.
Beautiful
What is this beautiful song??!!❤
Whats the name of the song please? It brings me so much peace and comfort 🙏🏻💜 thank you
What song is that. It's beautiful
Delicious ❤