Am I hoarding? Are THEY hoarding?? What to say
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- Опубликовано: 24 фев 2022
- It can be hard to know how to talk about hoarding. Whether you've wondered about yourself or are worried about a friend or family member, what do you say? Do you say anything at all? We'll talk about this today!
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Thank you so much for watching! Here is A Hoarder's Heart RUclips Channel: ruclips.net/channel/UCX6kzJb0vMVQYUTStsCATGQ We hope you have a great weekend!!! - Dawn
I love this so much, Dawn! Thanks you! And thank you Melanie for sharing your story!!!!
You are two of my favorite RUclipsrs. Thanks for sharing this!
Such a great interview. Thank you so much.
I have been watching her for a while now. I was so happy when she finally had the courage to show her face 🥰 she is doing such an amazing job!
Dawn, I really enjoy how you've been collaborating with others on psychological topics as they relate to a minimalist mindset. Many people coming to your channel probably are hoarders or know a loved one with this diagnosis. Great connections and tips to approach this issue from a loving, listening, and nonjudgmental mindset! Insightful as always! ❤️ Enjoy your weekend too!
I love how she said that she wasn't able to let go of the baby stuff so she organized it and put it away and focused on what she could let go. That's important. She gave herself grace to hang onto the baby things and continued to make progress. She didn't quit...she focused on what she COULD let go, which was FAR MORE than what she wasn't ready to let go. What an accomplishment! 😊💕
That's true for any chronic illness. If you have severe arthritis, lupus, MS, Mito for example you cannot do a lot at once and on a bad day, anything at all. It's best to focus on what you can do than what you can't.
Wisdom!
I totally resonated with her. Growing up, we didn't have a lot of stuff & I would keep everything. As I got older & could buy anything & everything, I did just that...I bought anything & everything. After finding The Minimal Mom, Cas & Joshua Becker, I finally realized I do not need all of this stuff. I am now able to get rid of stuff & not feel like I could cry. It feels so freeing.
My mother was like that, relatively speaking. I was an only child and my toys were my friends.
My mom is one too.... I lived like that in childhood and I guess that I never really gone through cleaning when I was a child. I must have gotten to a hoarder level 2, and then my husband kept insisting this is an issue. Then I started watching you, Natalie Bennett and hoarders and A&E( because it helped showing me what I would not like to become) and now I d say I'm maybe a level 1 but I'm trying to get to a minimal place, I've been decluttering a lot of stuff to the point where I can do a couple of hours weekly and have a clean house, and my goal is like you girls say to re-organise every room in 10min. My best tips that I took away was the amount of work you can do in 10min, and how to evaluate items. Thank you x
Linda, me, too! Plus, I don't like to be wasteful or "I might need it someday". I have made a ton of progress, and more to go
This is me too.
Thank you so so much ❤️🙏🏻❤️ This truly was a wonderful experience and I’m so grateful we could share an intimate honest conversation about Hoarding Disorder! The truth is that Hoarding Disorder is a mental disorder and it’s normally alongside anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD, OCD, etc. So many people hide their hoarding disorder because they are so afraid of the harsh judgement, so they don’t seek help and hoard more to cope with those emotions. By bringing awareness to the disorder, we can change the social stigma to hoarding and encourage others to start their healing journey ❤️🙏🏻❤️
Thank you for sharing your life, your journey, your vulnerability. You rock! 🙌🌼💕
Thank you for sharing your experience in this video. Its is so helpful. I have a sibling that is a hoarder and I have struggled with how to approach the subject with my sibling. It’s not a simple thing like, ‘Let’s clean up, I’ll help you’. It’s way deeper and I still don’t know how to approach it, but I’m feeling more encouraged after watching you and Dawn how to try to start the conversation and see if change ( true, healing help) will start to happen.
I don’t struggle with hoarding but I’m over-whelmed by the broad picture of what hoarding has been and done to my sibling. It’s absolutely crippling.
Thank you for your help.
Love you Miss Heart!!
@@karencarpenter8884 you are so welcome!! My first thought is, is your sibling ready to change? They don’t have to say that directly, they can shows signs by what they say: “I’m so tired of the mess!” “Why can’t I do this?!” “I’m so ashamed, where do I even start?!” Those are signs that they really don’t want the mess but the emotional stresses feel impossible to pass through to the other side. If you hear those clues, then you can start a conversation. You can ask empathetic questions like, “how can I help you?” “How does this make you feel?” “How would you feel if we started with just one thing?” Ask the emotional questions with love and compassion so they feel safe to open up and be vulnerable. We have to start with the emotional mindset first before we can physically start Decluttering. I hope that was helpful ❤️🙏🏻❤️
@@bethym3269onmywayhome thank you so so much ❤️🙏🏻❤️
Dawn… this is a defining moment within your channel for me. You are quietly listening & genuinely trying to seek understanding in this video… thank you for that! I have several members of my family who are no doubt level 5 hoarders & I have seen them suffer from the social stigma. You are not just another minimalist on a self righteous pedestal (not that I thought you were), you genuinely care about others. This video speaks volumes about your character & if I could reach through the screen and hug you both, I would! Thank you for doing this. 💓
YES!!!! I really appreciated Dawn's openness throughout this video - her genuine interest in seeing/seeking to understand it from the other side/perspective is very respectable! I resonate a little too much with Melanie, and personally gained some perspective on my own hoarding "comfort nest" situation. This will help me continue on my journey to declutter and downsize my belongings to a more manageable level. I also feel like it is an overwhelming undertaking and had to start small. Like really small. One day i gathered all my makeup items, categorized them out (skin care, eyes, lips, cheeks, foundation, tools). Then each night after work for the rest of the week, i tackled one of those categories: threw away all old/expired items, then the ones I don't like, and if they were things i was holding on to just because i liked them and wanted to remember the brand or shade (but were old) i took a picture of it with my phone, then tossed the item.
>it is a process, and every step forward, no matter how small, is still progress. And the journey is different for everyone. As others have said, it took a lifetime to create these habits and tendencies and collect these things. It will take more than a day to change/improve them. But we must remember, we are not alone. And we can do this. Look toward the end goal and use that as inspiration to keep going. As Dawn has said, our mental health is more important than the "stuff."
Oh my! I recognize my life in this! I am 73 and started my life poor, and in a family of 10. Everything was a treasure that I needed to keep myself safe and secure. I still have my dolls and most of my treasures that I picked up on my journey. I am now struggling to let go so my children will not see all of my treasures as junk and dumper them. I am choosing where things go and it’s a better way for me to look at letting go as I down size my home. Thank you for your encouragement.
I'm helping a parishioner start to go through this process and she has said the number one thing stopping her was her shame and fear of being judged. Showing up with acceptance and non-judgment, as Melanie said, is SO important for people who want to help. One afternoon of us working together helped her know I wasn't going to ask her why on earth she had kept all this stuff, or ask her to get rid of things she wasn't ready to let go, and gave us a lot of momentum. I work hard to go at her pace even though I would LOVE to jump ahead - because keeping her trust by honoring where she is is the #1 most important thing to me.
My maternal grandmother and my brother and sister were hoarders. At one point my mom took us to my grandmother’s house and made us fill bags and bags to throw away. I remember my grandmother being angry and crying. My mom had no empathy or understanding. My brother hid his hoarding. It was a shock when we saw his apartment after he passed away. This discussion was so helpful. Thanks to both of you for discussing in a non judgemental way.
I’d guess I was a level 1 hoarder.
My rooms weren’t overflowing to where you couldn’t walk a path through the room but I’m also a super neat box stacker and secret stuffer!!
People thought my home was super neat and tidy. I’ve since learned from Cas that I’m a Ladybug with a Cricket influence.
I called my storage spaces (basement, box room and spare room) my own personal Jenga game developed by a Tetris pro. 😂
I’ve (just in two months) let go of at LEAST 20% and I’m not feeling pain. I’m ECSTATIC! My goal is 70%.
I’ve been considering the purge process forever but just felt like even though I was definitely willing to let things go…I needed help on the PURCHASING side.
*A lady in Target was yelling at her kid saying “We don’t buy things just to buy things!” And I kinda wished she’d have that talk with me too.*
😂 😂 😂
I’ve really made an effort when buying things now to (count to ten) before I press the buy button. Intentional shopping is the best new thing about my habits.
I’ve also paid my two lowest credit card balances off now with the D Ramsey method they suggested. This all happened within the last couple of months. My third one plus my car will be paid off next month.
Dawn is a motivational life-changer.
*I COMPLETELY credit Dawn’s channel’s outlook for getting me to push START.*
Good for you on the decluttering and the debt pay off! I’m a fan of Dawn and Dave, too! Dawn has definitely helped me make some big changes!
Wow. So liberating. You're going going need a retreat or just s9me set-aside time to ask what are your goals in life. What is important? When you get past thar initial clutter you're going to run into half-finished projects or intentions for the future. Should you read every book you ever bought? Finish every project? Having a clear picture of your best future will be that encouragement when it starts to drag out and feel unending. A goal will help clarify when the decluttering gets muddy and uncertain.
I am with you. I feel I make progress, but then lose control in the store buying and filling the space again. I am working on that too. I need to stop watching "haul" videos for sure. We can do it!
@@willowwillow1969
Yes! And the ‘Top 10 products You should buy at Amazon/Dollar Tree’ etc.
Lol!
Those get me sometimes too. Good point!
I love that lady in Target!
I love this interview, Dawn. You are really great at interviewing people. And what a wonderful woman she is to share her process of recovering from hoarding. Thanks to both of you.
Dawn is so understanding and you know she doesn’t want you to feel judged.
The compassion on Dawn’s face for this gal is very touching. It is no wonder, Dawn, that you have so many viewers on ur channel. The humility and open admitting of this disorder is so helpful to someone like me.
I'm a minimalist and my ex is a hoarder. When I donated stuff it gave him serious anxiety and when he kept things, I was stressed and anxious. It was definitely a factor in the divorce. I loved this conversation because hoarding can be hard to understand and she explained the underlying emotions in such a thoughtful way!
This has been a huge issue in our marriage too. It has helped me a lot to listen to Melanie to try to understand my husband and others better!
This is great. A lot of people will joke about hoadering, if they don’t want to declutter. There is so much more to it.
YES, exactly!
@@TheMinimalMom can you do an update on workouts, I know you mentioned you like to walk. I keep my workouts simple walking, some light weight arm workouts, push ups and squats
Yes, this disturbing tiktok trend of self-diagnosing everything from hoarding to autism is so problematic! It’s the epitome of privilege.
@@Madiannereid hmm, i wonder if that's only in the West. I heard that in China the tiktok platform rewards a very different type of content. It's such a powerful tool to re-shape the minds (or more plainly: brainwash our kids, and people with weaker mindsets)
My late sister was a hoarder, I could never understand why she did what she did. Thanks for shedding light on the subject.
Dawn, This is probably one of my favorite videos because both of you were speaking from your heart. Your compassion and love shone through your eyes, it was beautiful.
Why do we feel like we have to de clutter in a hurry? Because the TV show is always on a deadline. "It's the last few hours on our last day...." The tv show is always doing it in a huge hurry
This was a fabulous video! As a former level 3-4 hoarder, I know how tough it is to let go of things. It has taken almost 5 years to get my home to look like a home I can be proud of. I still have some struggles here and there but have decluttered about 65% of my stuff. It does get easier. It does not happen overnight but taking small steps bring huge rewards in the end!
❤ good job! Im proud of you 😊
I’m not a hoarder, but I still watch Hoarder’s Heart regularly as I tackle house tasks & projects I feel overwhelmed by because she is such an amazingly compassionate cheerleader & coach! Her voice has been a huge help to me, and I loved seeing the two of you together!
I love this girl! She helped me understand my husband. I began by just asking if I could throw away cardboard boxes out of the garage. By going slowly and stopping when he begins to get nervous I have been able to decorated thousands of things out if our house.Dawn I love you too and I have your book and use it and log it. Thank you both. You have changed my life for the better.
This is a great interview. It's nice to be able to listen to someone speak logically about the disorder and make it more understandable. Dawn, you are an awesome interviewer. You ask questions and then sit quietly and allow the person to answer. Melanie, you did a fantastic job on your house. Keep up the good work. Thank you so much for this video.
Yes! Such a great interview! So much compassion and kindness from Dawn, and Melanie is making such strides AND helping others by being vulnerable and real about her road to wellness in this area of life!
Dawn, you got me started. I went through my kitchen with the mantra how many ___s does one person need? My clothes have been an issue still. After retiring I realize I had more clothes than one person needs. I am still working on it. Add to the mix of hoarder behavior growing up with parents who experienced the depression and would not throw anything that was "still usable" away.
I’ve been following A Hoarder’s Heart almost from the beginning and it’s been so helpful the way she talks through her feelings as she’s decluttering. Most channels don’t do that and dealing with feelings is a huge part of it even for non-hoarders.
I've been following her a long time too! So neat that she and Dawn got together to do this!
Yes! Be non judgmental and show the person is valuable despite their mess
So glad you're crossing over and weaving a real mission out of your work in minimalism Dawn! Right on!
Dawn has always had a real mission! Please don’t “minimize” what she has already done.
@@sherrybendall5817 Nevah! 😂💯
I never understood how hard it was for someone to let things go until this past summer when I was helping a loved one clean out a freezer that was failing, and she literally cried when she had to get rid of some of the things. And to put it in prospective, some of the stuff was at least 27 years old (and I’m afraid some was/is older). Listening to A Hoarder’s Heart has given me some prospective. Thank you both for the insight!
You should have asked if you could use the food for your family, and then taken it home and thrown it in the trash. Then the hoarder would have the relief of knowing it wasn't wasted.
My mother hoards this way. She lives alone and has a full size deep freeze full of food. She uses food from it occasionally, but it’s always replaced. She has had power outages and I have warned her the food may not be safe to eat. I’ve had some interesting meals there….
@@kamioltman8471 I disagree. Hoarding is a mental burden they do not know how to relieve themselves of. In order to help I do not need to join their madness. If they're offering it to me, it is because they dont know what to do with it, but they do want to be rid of it.
I don’t feel that way about food in the freezer, but I do have some sentimental things that are very hard to let go of and would make me cry. So I do know that feeling.
Thank you Dawn for posting this video. I've been dealing with compulsive hoarding for most of my life. And I'm trying to start getting a handle on now. It amazes me how much hoarding affects you more when you deal with depression too.
Dawn, I love you & your videos but the background music during an interview is VERY distracting. Can you please get rid of the background music when doing these kind of videos? Thank you!! You are amazing & this was a great interview
Dawn, I watched your face while she told her story, the love and compassion in you for her pain so moving. While this isn’t my problem thank you for focusing your attention and channel on this very important topic. Now I understand what is needed to be a blessing to others facing these issues. Bless you my friend.
I love hearing Melanie speak on this, she has opened my eyes and heart to realizing some of the basis that leads to a hoarding tendency. I have much more empathy because of her. It reminds me so much of the perspective about how you may never know what is happening for someone else, they don't wear a label on their shirt, so there is no role for judgment - there is a big role for compassion and for recognizing that I need to humbly hear and learn.
Been watching her channel for years, including through her first starts and stops in the playroom, and she has come so far! Thanks for highlighting her; she deserves the spotlight!
I am so proud of myself! This week I finally got rid of my “quarantine boxes”. Five entire boxes of kitchen items that I no longer need or use. Now I can find the pan and the lid to that pan. I don’t need muffin pans, mini muffin pans and giant muffin pans.
Thank you for making this video. I love Mrs. Heart and also Melanie. She is getting better and better in articulating the feelings, processes and trigger points on hoarding and I love it. I wish all the good things in life for her. In my humble opinion, when you deal with hoarders, you need to start with the person not with the stuff. As far as I understood it comes from a place when the person feels worthless and when s/he lacks affection in his/her close circle. So first making that person feel how valuable and worthy of love s/he is and that you love and care for him/her seems like the first step to me. Unfortunately gentle and sensitive hearts are more vulnerable in this matter... I could see your semphathy and getting emotional during the meeting. And that is exactly why we love you Dawn: you have a very beautiful and caring heart💖💗
I'm not a Hoarder so not sure if this helps anyone with baby stuff but that's even hard for me accepting that stage is over and emotionally letting go. We have chosen to donate the hardest elements to either the church nursery if they need it so we can still see it or to a crisis pregnancy center. Turned out a mom needed our bassenet the moment we donated it. It helped a lot.
That is encouraging to know that the items that you are extremely attached to & are having a very hard time getting rid of are going to someone that can use them & REALLY needs them. It helps with that mental struggle & release.
I personally think that, I am a level 2 or 3 my problem escalated when someone stole my identity after I separated from my ex-husband. I became vulnerable when looking for a job. My biggest war is paper clutter. I tryed shredders burned two already. When the one I have currently gets hot, I just have to stop. It takes alot of strength to start again. I also have chronic pain. I know that one day, I will have property amounts of paper, and no extra paper clutter. I have seen the work my LORD has done in you Ms. Heart. Thank you both for working so hard.
You Both are HEROINES in my life. You allowed GOD to use you in your own weaknesses. You show us what can be Done. Thank you.
Your guest showed great courage & I appreciate her being on your channel.
Giving yourself grace is so important. Because like she said she couldn't part with something in 2019 but now she can. It's a process and definitely a muscle you exercise. Do what you can and don't over do it. Take care of your home and yourself. ❤️ You will look back and see your growth. Not a hoarder but raised by a hoarder and understand the emotions.
My mother was a hoarder. I was so happy to move out and vowed to never move back. I hold on to things but not to that extreme I don’t have a need to have rooms packed to the brim. Dawn is helping me with the things I do need to clear out. Thank you for sharing
Dawn. This was wonderful! I remember Mrs. Heart when she wore her fun disguises and it had been amazing to watch her grow. And I LOVE how positive you keep everyone. Not many people can do that!!
Soooooo good! My grandparents who raised me were Great Depression era hoarders. It started with stuff but then moved on to cats and dogs. My childhood was so hard never wanting friends or dates to come in. Now in my 40s I'm just now able to understand what they were mentally dealing with. It changes my frustration to compassion.
Her channel is so unique and has been a constant resource for me to learn how to support a family member with hoarding disorder. She is truly set to change the world for people struggling with this issue.
Take Your House Back is my recovering hoarder support group. Hubs is now my biggest cheerleader and wants my help going through his stuff. It's the final frontier for our decluttering journey and I'm so excited about helping him. I just wish that family would notice the hard work instead of teasing us about being minimalists.
It can be hard for some people when they see others making changes for the better. It’s not you. You might be silently encouraging them just by your example.
@@tgayer1 I think that they feel convicted just how I felt when my SIL lost a lot of weight and we were no longer both plus sized. I felt better about my weight knowing that she was bigger too.
@@eahuebner1
Emily, thank you so much for your honesty! I believe that, in ALL areas of life, we are so much more comfortable, if other people share the same struggles that we have
(excess weight, hoarding, etc.....It could be any area, really). Once someone else "makes a change", to improve a particular area of their life, then it makes US feel UNCOMFORTABLE, if we haven't YET addressed that same area of our own struggle. Thank you for pointing this out.
Your kids will thank you when it's time for THEM to go thru your things. There may be some regrets for items you purged but it will make the job so much easier for them in the long run.
@@brendamaun5455 my kids are little, so they won't know what I got rid of in the big declutter. Hopefully, they adjust to decluttering being normal. It's the older family members that tease us now. We'll have to sort their stuff eventually. It'll be a project worth renting a dumpster for.
Wow! This was so encouraging to me. I never realized that I have hoarding tendencies but hearing her talk about her emotions surrounding stuff those are definitely what I have experienced. It has been several years of decluttering for me and my house still has some very overstuffed areas but I am getting better. Thank you so much for the encouragement!
Dawn you were great at interviewing!! You let this beautiful lady tell her story. Outright THE best video I have watched in a long time. This was just so helpful understanding my Mom...
Thank you sooo much!!
My family home was hit by a tornado when I was 12, we lost almost everything and unfortunately that triggered my moms’ hoarding. That feeling that everything was taken at once, makes her hold onto everything now.
I watched this video nodding my head saying "yes I need to watch this one"! I never have been able to let go of anything easily! When my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 10 years ago we moved in with our daughter and her family so that I had help with him and I would be able to take "me time". My daughters helped me clear out our 1 bedroom apartment and a lot of stuff was donated or thrown away. I have to admit other than one or two kitchen small appliances that I had to replace I missed NOTHING when I moved into my own apartment after he passed. The relief of letting go far outweighed the article itself! Btw I suffer from anxiety and OCD which is hard too. I just subscribed to Melanie 's Channel. Thank you Dawn for sharing!❤️
I want to go back to your junior high you and give you a tight hug. I'm sorry that happened to you.
How refreshing and helpful to hear the hoarder's perspective. A much-needed remedy to tackle the possibility of minimalists and aspirational minimalists like myself becoming judgmental of others with so much stuff.
I collected fast food and candy wrappers as a kid. For years! Last month I threw away 2 years worth of oil and vinegar glass jars that I had saved. It was hard, and I still wish I had been able to find space to keep them. Though I had no use for them... it's it's struggle, and this pandemic has certainly triggered a relapse for me. I was well organized and decluttered from 2018-2020.
Melanie you expressed it so well! This is great to help people understand family members that resist decluttering out of fear or trauma.
My clutter started a few years into being a single parent, and all the stuff represented my earnings, my hard work, and at times my pride in myself came from overcoming some big adversities, and still being able to purchase a home and provide a great home for my son.
It has been a process on many levels and especially spiritual trust in God for provision.. and that I am so blessed, so letting go of things will help others and decrease that need to cling to worldly things..
Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lam. 3:22-23
That was really interesting and I’d love to see a part 2. I think I’ve always valued my things not only because I had to save up for them but because I had a bully of a sister who my Mum would believe over me and a (hoarder) husband who doesn’t value me. I’m now seeking simplicity and am getting my mind together to value me, while my new house will show my personality and be manageable too. Awesome, Dawn!
This is the best. I’ve been trying to find something like this for years. Who knew there were levels of hoarding?!! Thanks so much. I’d love to see more - especially for those of us who sit somewhere in the middle between ‘it’s a relief to let things go’ and ‘it causes panic to let things go’ I’m sure there are so many in this middle ground.
I agree. I feel in the middle, but swing one way or the other occasionally.
When I have a hard time letting go of something.... I like to take pictures of those treasures. I'm a hoarder of digital photos. Helps alot. 😊. Thank you for being transparent.
Shopping was my mom and maw maw’s bonding time together. When my maw maw passed away suddenly, my poor mother coped with loss through shopping. It was a way for her to deal. She’s been lately ready to shed the layers she’s built up. I’m so proud of her!!!
This is how I have been since my mom died, I’ve been shopping, and 3 years after my mom died we had a suicide death in my husbands family, so these traumas have caused my shopping addiction and I have depression and anxiety to.
@@craftygirl17 So sorry for your losses. I hope you are able to get a handle on things and find your way out of this situation.
Thank you so much for this! My young daughter (just turned 5) has a really hard time throwing anything out - even trash. She cries throwing out banana peels! I didn’t consider that she might have a disorder until I watched this. Now I know to keep an eye on it, and get her help if needed.
2 of my favorite RUclipsrs on the same journey of minimizing their belongings. I love being subscribed to both of you women. You both help me a lot through my own journey with my home.
My aunt was a level 5 hoarder & when we finally realized it, everything in her apartment had to be thrown out. She had hidden it for years. She ended up passing from a respiratory infection caused from her environment. I would say I am a borderline level 1. I have trouble letting go of things for emotional reasons, but videos like Melanie’s help immensely & videos like yours help me to keep motivated. Thank you for sharing this. It’s a very traumatizing disorder for the person affected & all of their loved ones.
Wow! What a brilliant chat... I completely see why baby stuff is so challenging, I am fairly minimal but after losing a child and miscarriages the baby things just pull at my heart and I own more of those items than anything else. I know I have no further use for them at least for this season, but giving them away makes me feel like I'm saying I don't want my child (I know the objects are not her). I can't imagine what having all your stuff having that kind of hold on you must be like- thank you for sharing ❤️
Sorry for your losses
Melanie is so awesome to share her experience and be so open and honest about it all. Because I'm sure there are many people out there still in hiding because of embarrassment and shame. We have to remember that when addictions and disorders are experiences that happen to a person... they are NOT what MAKES the person. And I'm sure there are just as many people who are borderline as well, wondering if they have a problem. And this post will definitely help everyone regardless, even those who don't deal with hoarding, they will have a better understanding and more empathy for those who do deal with hoarding disorders, so in every way, thank you, Dawn and Melanie, for the share and understanding!!
Mrs.❤ has been a blessing to understand my husband and how to approach decluttering with him. 💜💚
Me too!
I'm with you on the 3rd baby, hugs. I have kept 1 large bin each gender. And I've told myself if God would give us another child someday (highly unlikely) he'd provide what that child needs. God bless your big Mama's heart.
This was very helpful. Thank you for the transparency and vulnerability of the back story; of which I could relate. As a child I turned to my things and then I became addicted to the dopamine affect when thinking about something new or considering something new. What I’ve learned is once that has been triggered I need to pause and wait it out. I much more enjoy the hunt of what I want than actually having the thing. Once I have the thing, it doesn’t feel the same as it did when I wanted it. So now I practice the pause before a purchase or temptation. Except for sweets. Then I just go for it. 😆
I'm sorry for anyone who has to deal with bully's !! Theirs even some in adult job atmospheres. No child should have to go home and feel so low. !! Please make it stop. Sorry Melanie for your pain. I was not a bully. I was picked on alot . I don't believe it had an effect on my life. Prayers to you. I was no where near hoarder and it's taking me 8 years so far. I work at it obsessively but I can only declutter slowly. My best learned advice is STOP STOP STOP buying !! It's the buying that's clutters us in.
I am so thankful that you shared this... it is so misunderstood. Couple this with depression era family helping to raise you and suddenly you feel like you "Have" to keep it all because "what if you need it someday." I am learning so much about myself and how God is so gracious to help us keep taking steps. Dawn you and your family are amazing. My husband and I love to watch y'all AND Dianna too!!!
So good Dawn. Loving your content lately. I think hoarding is one of those things that people say about themselves or others but they really don't understand the depth of what it is. Hoarding tendencies is not the same thing as just shopping too much or having a messy house. I really appreciate this real look at this issue.
This was so good to hear. I definitely relate to her in many ways. I have such a hard time getting rid of things because of either memories or the fear that I will need it right after I get rid of it. Though over the years I have found that if I keep coming back to the same boxes or whatever I find it easy to get rid of things I couldn't bring myself to get rid of before. I also deal with a lot of anxiety and I know a lot of it stems from how much stuff I have that I can't seem to make decisions on quickly.
I started hoarding when my family acquired foster children. I love them and consider them siblings now, but it was a very upsetting experience at the time. Because i couldn't keep my family from changing, i kept my stuff instead (especially if the objects were attached to pre-foster sibling memories). It has been such a relief to let that stuff go, but I still get that twinge of heartache whenever I come across something (saved in a journal or box) that was hoarded for that reason
Totally at the beginning of my decluttering journey, even though I have been listening to Dawn of Minimal mom and Dana K White, but didn't realize I was a horder until recently. I have big issues with letting go of things and save everything. I'm a crafter so trash has potentional to become something cool and it gets saved. This RUclips was fantastic to listen to and I thank you for putting it out there. Working on the baby steps....
Thanks for this video, Dawn. Melanie has done such a great job with her home. She is so helpful to others who are coping with hoarding disorder as well as shedding light on it for others.
She is a wonderful spokesman for a misunderstood problem. She is joyous and honest and is able to represent a population of people who need help and advocacy. kudos.
I found Hoarders Heart last year after one of your collective programs. She's so inspiring too. I am so glad you made this program.
This was so good. Her talking about middle school was so helpful. Now I know what is going on with our child.
This came at a perfect time, I cried throughout the entire video.I am struggling to find help. Even though I live in a large city, there are a few resources. Thank you for letting me know that there are people and groups that can help, and that I am not alone
I truly love how you partner with others Dawn. Your channel is amazing ❤️
What a lovely lady Melanie is. I really relate to her. I have just subscribed to her channel! Thank you, Dawn.
My parents saved almost everything. They instilled that in there four kids. I watched one video of yours Dawn and I have been decluttering ever since. ( I am 62 now). I love my home now. It’s so calm and peaceful. It’s been 2 years now. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love the hoarders heart channel.
I always thought I was organized and considered myself to be minimalist... That was until last month when we moved to a new house. The nightmare experience of moving my family of 5 took 5 anguishing days. The horrible experience has opened my eyes and convinced me that I am a hoarder.. Thank you for this video. The timing couldn't have been more perfect as I work on clearing out stuff to allow us to have a fresh start in our new place.
Sadly my grandmother was a level 5 hoarder. I’m so grateful that you can help others with the same struggles (to put it lightly).
I just love you Dawn! You have inspired my own minimalism journey! I’ve made my own videos about it and you’ve given me the courage to share my messy house. We all have to start from somewhere ♥️♥️♥️
Thanks for all that you do Dawn! ♥️ you inspire so many people to better our lives!
I watch hoarders heart occasionally and sometimes I feel overwhelmed just viewing her space!! Amazing the line about our anxieties being so different!! This interview was great!
I noticed she still had her Christmas tree up. I do that to because it brightens the bleak cold winter.
The idea of giving myself permission to keep my baby things and move onto easier things to declutter gives me a lot of comfort. It’s been a big road block to getting started
That was wonderful you got to collaborate with Melanie from a hoarders heart. Great collaboration.
This video is amazing!! Thank you, Melanie, for sharing your journey! And, Dawn, thank you for allowing Melanie to share her story. Wonderful🥰
Man my story was also so similar. I discovered minimalism when I was 23... I'm still decluttering and have hoarding tendencies, BUT!! I'm much better now and channels like yours and Josh Becker's have helped A LOT!
Really great interview Dawn. I so appreciate Melanie sharing her story. Rejection runs deep, especially with sensitive, artistic people. 'Not feeling pretty'/feeling "good in oneself" when one is away from the stress caused by other people really resonated with me. I have addressed it but as I listen, tears are falling... Melanie's touched a deeper level with her words. God is good. I work through the 'new stuff' with Him. Self comfort and Dopamine/ need to feel good about oneself is all quite a discovery regarding "how things work" and " why we are the way we are". Thank you Dawn for your recent talk on that. You are a great blessing. xG Ire
Dawn, you are such a great interviewer! I noticed it on a previous video and now this one. I really appreciate the fact that you always ask thoughtful questions and seem so present and at ease.
My dad is a hoarder and this was so helpful to understand. The worst part of my family's home is the garage and currently I'm doing a series where me and my family are decluttering it. There is no space to walk in there but we have made progress and now there is some space! I hope my dad gets to see the benefits of decluttering and just having more space in the garage🙏🙏
Careful. If you're just getting rid of his stuff, and he isn't having time to process and grow, he may interpret your actions as disrespectful (maybe he is holding because of financial anxiety, and by getting rid of all his just-in case stuff he may feel that you dont appreciate the financial sacrifice he made on behalf of his children)
@@ludwigvonmiseswasright4380 nope! he's totally on board and appreciates my help and has been helping in the process. im not just getting rid of all his stuff lol
@@MarielaMerino Well, giving you time and attention and wanting good for your dad is surely a sign of respect. Just be sensitive to the fact that its not really about the stuff. The stuff is just a symptom of what its really about.
Yesss!! Dawn, I love keeping up with your videos because it’s “programming my brain”! Love that term! You help keep me motivated and on track!!! So thankful for you!! Thank you for sharing, Melody! What an amazing testimony.
This conversation was so positive and sweet- and so encouraging! Thank you so much ladies!!
Melanie, thank you for sharing your journey. I now have a better understanding, and perspective, of hoarding and I hope to use this knowledge to help and not judge those who struggle with this. Your vulnerability has been very much appreciated and was quite touching.
Thanks Dawn for this interview! I think I'll need to watch it a few times as there are jewels sprinkled in all she shares💖💖 So insightful, heartwarming & genuine! Love it... and your openness for all on this path🤗🤗
Dawn, I have always loved your videos! And after watching most of them, I think this of one of the most helpful ones. I am totally on the spectrum, but it’s not too bad. I will seek therapy, as I’ve just had a baby and the stuff just all feels so overwhelming. This interview, which was awesome, showed me that it’s all emotional confusion, and that I can work through it. I didn’t know there was even a spectrum- but now it totally makes sense. My mom is a hoarder, but has so much storage space available to her, that no one would ever know. Her home is immaculate… and I’ve always joked that when she says something is “packed away” that there’s a huge pit somewhere on the property labeled “packed away” because no one would ever see that item again. Anyway, thank you for doing this interview!!!! Loved it!
Thank you for this insight. My mom has such a “can’t throw away” issue & with her becoming practically immobile, her giving up some things in order for her home to be safer to get around in has been very difficult. She’s frustrated with some of the stuff but is very defensive once we offer to help discard. Appreciate your video so much.
Love you channel, when I think I'm losing inspiration, I look for a video of you, and very quickly I find myself thinking logically. THANK YOU!!
She makes me feel a lot better about my situation and my house. I've been thinking there was something wrong with me. Everything she said about her experience with hoarding is relatable. It makes sense now. Gonna go look for her channel. Thank you for this video. 💛
Her channel is great. I found it at the beginning and she has come so far. Some of the early videos all she gets through is a box or small stack but now she can let go much quicker and get through large sections of a room.
Yes! Definitely check out her channel! She’s so encouraging and has a big heart!
It is helpful to hear different perspectives so we can be more compassionate toward those we just do not relate to. You're such a great interviewer Dawn!
Thank you so much Dawn for sharing this video with us!!! Such a great perspective of changing our mindset and seeing people in a new and positive light/lense! Awesome questions for Melanie that is so helpful to educate those of us, like myself that had the wrong perspective toward a hoarder!! Thank you Melianie for being real and sharing your story with us!! I love love so much that you included God as you tell your story!! And Praise God that you realized its what God thinks about you that matters most!!!!! You are beautiful inside and out!!! So proud of you for coming this far!! Cheering you on!!!!
I really appreciated how she was so able to articulate the connection between her emotions and why it was so hard for her to declutter. I am so glad that she is in a happier place. Great job!
So many things are a reaction to a form of trauma and are maladaptive coping. I think we all could open our hearts more to others who weren't so fortunate or even relate as maybe our trauma reactions look different but are just as unhealthy. Love that she is sharing her journey to healing and normalizing it for others. Very BRAVE woman! 👏
The parallels of her journey and mine are wild 😭 I’m so glad that she’s sharing and making me feel supported by extension. Thank you so much for this 💕
Appreciate her honesty and letting us into her world for us all to learn. Thank you