I used to be a little sad about the thought of getting older on my birthday because I felt I wasn’t where I wanted to be at that age. But now I feel as though I’m back on track! I still struggle with indecisiveness on what to do for my birthday last minute though 😂
Yes! I’m turning 23 tomorrow & feeling anxious right now. Like you said, feeling unworthy of love & fear of not accomplishing. Thanks for sharing, feeling less alone in this struggle. It’s just sad that we feel this way on a day when we’re supposed to be happy & celebrating our life. And feeling like this perpetuates the anxiety loop 😩 small reminders & mantras help
@@Marina-hm9vk Happy early birthday! Channel your anxiety into energy toward things you'd like to make progress on by your next birthday. I hope tomorrow's peaceful for you!
I dislike my birthday because I’m usually the one to remember people’s birthday and make them feel special and when it’s my turn that energy isn’t reciprocated
Bro they are not worth your time. I got separated from the same kind of toxic group of friends during the new semester, and while I was devastated at that time, I'm extremely grateful for the blessing in disguise
For me, About a month before my birthday I start feeling anxious and depressed because I expect people to disappoint me and reject me and not care about me. Growing up my birthdays weren't celebrated and I internalized that as I didn't matter, my life meant nothing to anyone, and I was rejected. As an adult, it reminds me of that.
Thanks for sharing your story ♥️. It sounds like you have some celebrations to catch up on. As adults, we have the opportunity to work on the things that negatively impacted us from our childhood. It can be SO HARD, but the last thing you want to do is prove that the thought about you not mattering is true. You do matter! Take some time to consider who you matter to and why. If you can't think of anything that you've done that matters, make a plan to change that by your next birthday.
Yes finally someone talks about birthday anxiety 😂😭😭... like if I'm alone on my birthday it triggers my abandonment/rejection issues and I start thinking no one really cares.
I guess my perspective is that, "you don't normally treat me well or value me as a person why pretend on my birthday?". Makes me feel so alone especially when this feeling applies to other big milestones.
It’s my birthday in 2 hours and I’m turning. 20 I’v been feeling anxious and like sad/ hurt for days now and I been crying the closer is gets I thought I was being weird but this reassured me I was normal 💕
I am so sad. Its my birthday in 2 hours, I am crying typing this. everything is just so sad and I don't know why. I got yelled at a lot today for being moody and I don't know why I am so unpleasent.
im watching this on my bday and i forever felt the pressure to be happy on your day but all i feel is that im doing everything that i am for others and because its a societial norm , i feel really depressed and i hate my bday and this video gave my a sense of assurance that its okay to feel that ..
I turned 40 this week and no friends came to visit or give me a card. The man I've been connected to for a long time didn't even give me a card. I got him really heartfelt gifts for his birthday. I've been so depressed all week. I've celebrated others, but none of my friends celebrated me. And it was such a big birthday too. 😢😢😢
It started when i turned 14, im turning 20 tomorrow and i know i have no particular to be sad. I just feel so sad and lousy right now 😞 i have a hard time reminding myself “you’re alive for a reason, people Will be sad if you’re gone. Have some empathy”
i just turned 20 today and had a mental breakdown in the car on my way to get food. i ended up just saying i want to go home crying my eyes out. i’m in bed now and feel much better i just want today to be over lol
started at 14 as well and has bbeen an issue since. just turned 27 last month. thought i was crazy feeling this way, glad to know there is a way to work this out
Trying not to self-sabotage before my big 30 this year. Three days away and I’m still in the funk. Trying to reset, reframe and build a new lens. Thank you for this video 💛✨
It’s my birthday today and I haven’t been able to stop crying since last night! Thank you so much for normalising the feeling through your video. Self sabotage, that’s exactly what I do. Switch off my phone cos I know people that I expect will wish me, won’t. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I do feel much better. I’m crying a bit less now after watching or maybe I don’t have any water left to produce tears lol.
omg I cried in the beginning because this is how I've felt for years and everyone thought I was weird or denied my depression about it. Its my birthday soon. Thank you.
So glad it resonated with you. What really helped me is being honest with myself and planning for it instead of denying it. If you need to schedule a moment for tears, maybe watch an emotional movie or talk with someone that you feel comfortable with. Don’t run from it. Best thing that could happen is you plan for sadness and it never comes, but don’t let it sneak up on you. Happy early birthday! ♥️
It's my 24th birthday in less than 3 hours. And for the last 5-6 years I've always felt this anxiety. There were other reasons but the most prevalent one is not doing what I thought I would be by this time. I have been trying to better myself since last year but I know my efforts are far from the best I have to offer. Listening to how you overcame your anxiety was really motivating. I'm glad I will be starting my year with a more positive and driven mindset. Hopefully I reach my goals much sooner than my next birthday! Thank you.
My birthday is in 15 days and I’m turning 30. I’m not happy about it. I know I’m blessed to even see 30, but I’m getting older. I remember when my mom was 30. And now I’m 30. My issue is I’m aging, which means I’m closer to death, and my body is changing. I just feel like I need to do so much before that day. Birthdays were huge for me, but as I get older I’m just not interested. I was planning a trip but I said no I’ll stay home and save my money. It’s just a rush of emotions. Thank you for this video.
after i turned 16 i fell into a awful depression and it ruined my entire summer break, hearing this makes me feel better and i hope it doesnt happend again when i turn 17
I just turned 27 and I practiced self care throughout the day, but that depression started to kick in during the evening. Treated that real quick with a lil Whiskey and Comedy podcasts
Today is my birthday and I am so lucky I found this video. As an army vet it’s difficult to manage my anxiety and stress. Lately, it’s been easier to manage it and truly happy that the RUclips mental health community is always here to offer content creators perspectives. Thank you
Self-Sabotage, yep that's me. I so needed this video. When you mentioned the jittery 2 months before your birthday, I get that so hard. I also get the same with Christmas and New years. My anxiety is on a high level between October and January.
I never knew my feelings could be put into words. It's a freeing experience to know that there are so many other people who feel this. It's also serendipitous that my birthday is also April 13 ☺️
Finding this exactly one year after this was published. It’s my birthday in 2 hours on September 29th and am feeling so anxious and sad. I just typed feeling anxious on your birthday and this video was the first one that popped up. I’m taking this as a sign from the universe. I’m hoping to find a lot of comfort from this.
I feel exactly what you felt during your birthdays!!!! And I also block everything just so I can try to avoid getting rejected, but ultimately I feel rejected!
My girl I loved this so much. My birthday is a few days from now and I usually have the birthday blues just like you did. However this year I found myself being relatively okay and a lot more at peace... until a few days ago when I got asked the dreaded question - so what are you doing for your birthday. Lol. I legit could not explain why this intense SADNESS came over me - especially since I am usually a very high energies person and I thought I was finally feeling at peace. But girl, I think my issue was exactly what you explained. I was, and have been for a while, terrified by rejection and I absolutely love birthdays. I love to celebrate other people so much but when it comes to my own I get an anxiety that no one would want to celebrate me in the same way or that it would be forced. So like you I’ve self sabotaged a lot! And completely isolated myself on my birthday to from rejection or my expectations not being met. I absolutely loved what you said though that our lives are in our own hands so finding that thing out things that would personally make us feel satisfied and doing that thing is so important and will help us feel more at peace with our lives. I recently started my channel as well and I can tell you that has helped a LOT s well too. ♥️♥️♥️ Thank you SOOO much for this video, it was SO needed!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️🤗 HUGS!!!
I always feel depressed and like crying near every bday that I can remember, specially since I left my home country. since I've been in the US (9 years now) I have dreaded bdays even more. my mother who had never really had much love towards me anyway just seems to hate the day that reminds her I was born, which she has said during arguments. from watching this video I understand now that what makes me feel this way around this time is the social pressure or tradition of being excited for and having fun on your birthday which I usually don't. my new guilt is that my partner now tries to make my bday a big deal and make me excited for it. i feel even more anxious and depressed because i feel like i do not deserve this.
That makes sense! The best thing that you can do for yourself at this point is remind yourself that you do deserve it. Think of things that you've done for yourself or others that you're proud of. If you can't think of anything, ask your partner to help. I hope your next birthday feels like a celebration of who you've become despite having to deal with the hurt from your mother.
It's my 26th birthday in 2 weeks and I feel anxious, disappointed, frustrated and sad because I feel like I haven't achieved much in 26 years. Due to this panoramic, I wasn't able to apply for a job. I got my geologist license in December 2019 and I was about to apply for a job in 2020 but shit happened and everything stopped. I got stuck at home with no job and no goal. Up until now, I am surviving, living with my dad. My birthday just reminds me of wasted time.
This was 11 months ago and I’m assuming your birthday is coming around again or just passed. How do you feel now? ❤️ I really relate to your comment as I am turning 26 in two weeks too on September 5 and I graduated from college but I struggle so much with anxiety and ADHD has ruined my life not being able to find a job and loving with my parents. Sorry for the long reply but your comment really helped me feel less alone 🥺
Happy Birthday my sweet niece. My birthday anxiety was my mother had cancer and past on March 31st in 2007 my bd is on March 23rd. So March became bittersweet.
It's fascinating how birthdays have the power to find deep-seated fears. For years, I've approached this day with a sense of trepidation, fearing that the effort I put into planning and celebrating would only raise expectations, leading to inevitable disappointment. In these moments, a haunting thought lingers: 'Am I not valued enough to mark my own existence? Am I truly insignificant, and do people truly overlook my being?' This underlying fear of inadequacy persists, and I struggle with the belief that no matter how much effort I put, it will never be enough. These feelings of sadness weigh upon me. But then, I delve deeper into understanding why I feel this way on a day that, in essence, is no different from any other in the year. Perhaps it is because, deep down, we all desire acknowledgment on our birthday. As children, we enjoy the the praise and pampering given to us by our parents. As we grow older and gain independence, a yearning for that same affection and recognition resurfaces. Perhaps it is because, on ordinary days, we don't feel heard enough. On our birthday, this absence of recognition is felt more acutely. It is a day when we're reminded of the first day of our existence, and our longing to be seen, acknowledged, and heard is heightened. Tomorrow, I make a conscious choice: I choose joy. I will focus on nurturing positive thoughts, casting aside all feelings of unworthiness. I shall embrace the beauty of the day, whether I spend it in solitude or in the company of others. I've decided to live, to refuse to let grief overshadow this day of my existence. The feelings of unworthiness will not be my enemies because I have chosen to revel in the beauty of this special day. I shall sip on a cocktail, enjoy delicious food, perhaps indulge a bit and lose myself in the melodies of karaoke. I've decided that it's perfectly acceptable to be alone, for it will not hinder my enjoyment of the things that bring me happiness, much like any other day.
Bless this video. Tomorrow is my birthday and I am feeling so low and blue. My therapist left the practice that accepts my insurance, so I don't have anyone to let it out with. I appreciate this and you. ♥
I'm here because today is my birthday and I feel sad right now😔 This video made me cry in the beginning but I'm glad reading Y'all comments. It feels better to know there many other people who feels the same.
This is much needed. I’m turning 30 next year. Usually I get excited about my birthday especially with the fact I was born a preemie and my family puts in a lot of effort when it comes to birthdays as well (be it low key or an active social calendar), but I’ve been getting more blue or jittery when it gets closer and closer to the day. The first reason feel especially true because it feels like a lot more doors are shutting than windows opening. I look forward to the incoming age related confidence and I’m enjoying 29 so far. I’m also done with fighting the impending ageism and unnecessary “milestone” comparisons with my younger & older peers. I’m focusing more on taking my final year of my 20s as the foundation of who I want to be in my 30s as well as living out the things I didn’t get a chance to do because of school or work. So far that’s been going pretty well for me.
Watching this video for the first time as someone who’s experiencing the birthday blues at an all time high today. Hearing you so happy to have reached 130 subscribers when you made this video, to now having 133K… I’m in awe of you and your accomplishment and is just a testament to show you that you were right- these resources were needed!!! So thank you❤️🙌🏼
Hi Steph! Thank you so much for making this video. Today is my birthday, and I've e been feeling a little down for the exact same reason. I get so anxious and rob myself of happiness because of the expectations that I put on my friends. It's really nice that you could relate because I honestly thought that I was the only one. I appreciate your videos; thanks a lot!
Steph, your RUclips channel has changed my life for the better. For someone who can afford therapy these videos are such a privilege. I’m so thankful you were able to push past the fear of starting it and are now flourishing and changing lives ❤️
4 years later, you’re at 257k subscribers 🎉 and still growing! Thank you for this! It’s my birthday today and I’d say the main reason is about aging and getting older and the whole nostalgia for the past. But what she said in the last part of the video, you really spoke to me and reminded me of what I cold be doing!
This makes a lot of sense, all my life my parents made a big deal about my birthday, my dad would always get me huge flowers and nice presents and my parties would be crowded with all my friends and relatives. Now that I've moved out for college I don't get to have that kind of birthday anymore. Which makes me really anxious because I still expect my birthday to be special like it used to be but it never happens because my parents aren't here and I have a smaller circle. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm just really sad.
Watching this today cause I was wondering if feeling blue around your birthday was actually a thing. Glad to know it's normal. I always loved my birthday, and still do, but last year before I turned 20, I started getting a bit blue. It ended up being one of the best years of my life💕 So I didn't expect to feel birthday blues again this year... but here they are. I think it's due to my expectations regarding the celebrations, that are suffering due to finals. But it's ok. It's currently 2 days until my birthday, so I'm trying to cheer myself up and plan out things I love to do. Even though not all my friends will be around, I know some of them will, and I'll make sure to enjoy this birthday, knowing that a whole new age brings out so many awesome possibilities. Steph, I wanted to congratulate you on your channel. As I watch this, you no longer have 130 subscribers, but 147k😱🤩 That's incredible. Keep up the great work❤️ Best regards from Brazil💚
4 years later and you now have over 200.000 subscribers! Congratulations! 😊🥳 It’s the first time I‘ve heard anyone talk about birthday anxiety and it’s always so great to hear that you’re not alone. I have a hard time letting people get close to me and at the same time long for deep friendships. Birthdays confront me with the fact that I don’t have the kind of friend group I would like to have and I also feel uncomfortable with being the center of attention. I have been going on vacation for my birthday for several years now- mostly to have a great answer to the „What are you doing for your birthday?“ question… Your video has made me take a closer look at that. I want to shift these patterns!
I appreciate this video I’m turning 21 tomorrow and I’m scared and sad and don’t even feel like celebrating it anymore just felt like I was the only one who felt like this
It’s 2024 and I’m watching this. I’m turning 55 on 8/12 and cool with that and was happy. This year I finally didn’t have bday anxiety. I just don’t like being vulnerable. The happiness turned to sadness when I extended an olive branch to family members for a bday celebration. Let’s just say I canceled everything and now I’m in a funk that I want to get out of. Love your energy by the way. 🫶🏼🙏🏽
Watching this the day after my birthday❣️ I had a meltdown per usual lol. I was thinking of going away next year, not necessarily to sabotage but to just escape these mixed emotions. I have spent every one of my birthday’s sad and disappointed
Thank you! It’s my birthday this year and I thought I had gotten over my birthday blues. Coming from childhood trauma and severe ptsd when I got married and got celebrated/embraced by my husband’s side of the family really got me depressed. It’s like as soon as I “worked” on celebrating myself, bam I get triggered from my mom wishing me happiness/well on my special day. I think it’s the anxiety that my husband wants to celebrate me but I’m waiting for that “unexpected incident” to take over my birthday. This video is truly helpful!
I can relate. It’s heartbreaking to be sad on ur special day. It’s hard because ur family will go crazy for this one person’s bday and won’t do the same for u because you’re not good enough
I’m 33 single and happy and I enjoy the time to myself. I hardly ever feel lonely because I do have my friends and family and enjoy spending time with myself. I don’t worry over finding a man because I trust that if God intends for me to have one then it will happen and if He doesn’t then I still am happy single. The only time I really feel just a pinch of not being content with my singleness is on my birthday. I don’t know why, but maybe because my friends and family aren’t really over-the-top with making birthdays special 😂. On my birthday is the only time I feel like I wish I had someone to make me feel special for the day. My birthday is coming up later this month so I pray that this year is different in the way I feel about not having someone to celebrate with. I just found your channel and I subscribed! This video definitely makes me not feel as much birthday depression/anxiety as my birthday approaches.
2024 watching this. I’m turning 55 on 8/12 and cool with that and was happy. This year I finally didn’t have bday anxiety. I just don’t like being vulnerable. The happiness turned to sadness when I extended an olive branch to family members for a bday celebration. Let’s just say I canceled everything and now I’m in a funk that I want to get out of. Love your energy by the way. 🫶🏼🙏🏽
I’m so glad I found your video. I’m turning 30 next week, I’ve been looking forward to it because deep down I feel it’s going to be a very important year personally, I’m at a point in which I feel very content with my life and plans. I’ve never been much of a birthday planner, for me it’s more about keeping a positive and happy feeling during the day, I just invited my closest loved ones to spend the day at my home doing things I enjoy, but somehow this anticipation anxiety was taking over me out of nowhere, like if I needed to invite more people or plan something bigger. Your explanation only made me realize I was starting to judge myself, there’s nothing wrong with the way I want to celebrate my new year of life. Having a stress free day, surrounded by the closest friends or family and keeping it all about joy and gratitude. Thank you 💕
I have taken to hiding away from the world on my birthdays. Getting older does not bother me, but I get struck with both grief and depression each year, just like on the major holiday seasons. I had a traumatic childhood, and all my family, including my grandparents - the two people who truly loved me - have died years ago. Although I give a lot of love and attention to friends, I have found that I get forgotten about. Some years, I tried to throw a little event, but I felt as though people expected me to be the entertainment, rather than them actively contributing to me/us having a nice time. Hosting/entertaining makes me anxious on a good day; it's too much pressure when I'm feeling low. So I gave up on trying to make my day special in a celebratory way. I just wished I didn't have to be so sad. Birthdays have made me miserable for as long as I can remember. Getting attention simply for being alive weirded me out. Hearing stories about others' parents going above and beyond to create a special holiday doesn't make me feel better, I have to say.
i don’t like my birthday because of all the anxiety but the thing is that i have a twin, so i feel pressured to pretend i love celebrating my (our)birthday.and it kinda sucks🤦🏻♀️trying to be the cheerful happy person is exhausting sometimes.
I absolutely love your approach to therapy! I’ve definitely experienced some of these things, especially the passage of time. I didn’t have a childhood and every year reminds me that I just never will have a carefree time in life.
Wow, that’s a tough one. I hope that you’re able to let your hair down sometimes by being silly, wild, etc. I think that as adults, we sometimes take life so seriously and forget the importance of adventure. I’ll have to think more on this though because of course we can’t escape the reality of our responsibilities. Thank you so much for sharing ♥️
Thank you so much this really helped me. I’m going through a divorce and just feel stuck and I realize there are some changes I need to make. I’m using the last 4 months of this year to get to where I want and need to be to be the man that God has called me to be. Thank you for your vulnerability!
I would always feel sad and anxious on my birthday, this year I wasn’t sure. Since I am away and all alone. But your video reminded me that this bday is different. I put my worries aside and got brave enough to go for divorce after 26 years of marriage. I am proud of myself and will celebrate this special birthday on my own. Tomorrow I will see what I like to do and will do it.
this video helped me a lot. My birthday is in the winter and I've never had a good one always lonely but now I'm really trying to change my perspective. Also, you're stunning!
I like celebrating holidays, birthday, etc... any reason to give gifts. My birthday tends to be the same week as a fun event my friends and I go to every year. This past year, I've been told by more than one person that my birthday was forgotten about. I realize I started to tell myself that 'I'm just a forgettable person' or I just don't matter as much in our friend group. While i haven't found a solution....it's good to know I'm not the only one dreading my birthday when it comes.
Don't worry! Sams I just has mine on April 13 and it was depressing. I had to cry silently in bed bc my parents were in the next room and I'm not allowed to close doors at night
I woke up on my birthday and listened to this and it really helped me! My self agency activated and I gave my church fam the opportunity to wish me happy birthday ^_^
Thank you! Yes, can relate to that one time in the year feeling that you are loved and cared for. Yes, the tension and pain can start weeks before.... Really working deep with my parts holding those beliefs and disappointments, turning 40 this year and for the first time travelling, to really own my own special day.
My birthday is in 12 days. This was a very enlightening video and helped my mood a bit. I resonated a lot with feeling like the part you were saying about you have expectations for yourself and that could be the source for the sadness for my birthday. At the same time though, my family said when I was younger I never really seemed to enjoy my birthdays, and all I can remember is being sad and being alone every year. I do have stuff planned for myself this time around though.
My birthday is days away & I don’t feel like celebrating it because I don’t feel happy about other things & I don’t have a solid support system so I just feel alone but then I remember, God has me here for a reason.
i started my youtube channel, and i still feel so much anxiety about my birthday this week! but you're right, I do put this pressure on people to remember and make it big. i feel bad that I do that, but it always leads me to disappointment because no one can ever live up to my own expectations
Lol. My dad can’t even remember how old I am or when my birthday is. He had to ask me. I don’t really care for when my birthday is or even just the month. I don’t ask for anything because I feel guilty if I do. Well for anyone’s birthdays that are coming up or have happened recently then happy birthday ^-^
This made me feel sm better. You've helped me understand why I'm always sad around my birthday even though I grew up being thrown parties and what not. Your background completely resonates with me and it makes sm sense. My birthday is in 9 days, I'm turning 20. I'll conquer those fears❤️
This has encouraged me SO MUCH. Your channel inspired me to finally start mine and with my birthday in a week-- I feel a lot better about it. I see your growth in three years girl CONGRATS!
35 today and on the verge of tears. I feel lonely, forgotten, and sad. I have high expectation for birthdays - and now the day is almost over and I just feel - old and alone. =(
Today is my birthday ❤️ I'm turning sixteen and feel nothing. But I wanna feel happy for myself, I wanna celebrate. But I feel like no one wants to with me. But maybe some day, someone will. Thank youuu
Great video!! Today is my birthday and this totally hit the spot. I am living in a foreign country alone...loved this! Thank you! You have wonderful energy❤❤🎉❤
I'm used to pretending everything is okay especially when it's my birthday. I just had an aha moment. I now get it! I didn't have the words for it (at all) and thanks to this video, I'm able to acknowledge those feelings. Thank you so much Steph Anhya for the amazing work you do! I've been watching your videos since your appearances on GQ and thoroughly enjoyed your analyses. Thanks to you, I've seriously considered a career as a marriage and family therapist becuase of how much you have helped me. I'm just so grateful to you!
7 days until my birthday, i always had something special for all of my borthdays, i would go places or throw a pool party, but this year i didnt want anything and it wasnt necessarily that, i just wanted something different but i couldnt think of anything. no matter how hard i tried i couldnt come up with anything besides what i normally do and it made me mad, so i just told my mom to not do anything for me and that me and my bestie would just hang out at the mall. i feel content because i get to spend time with my best friend on my special day but i also dont because i always lived up to the expectation of something big and wonderful on my birthday that would make me happy, so now im just crying my days away until i hopefully feel better on my birthday, this video helped a lot thnx ❤️
it’s my birthday tomorrow and so much has changed, im scared, last year I had a loving boyfriend who made it all special but this year im scared no body will remember. I’m always someone who makes everyone feel really great on their birthdays and im scared this year won’t be like the previous year. I acknowledge everything that has changed for the better since last year but I deeply miss not feeling insecure about friendships. My birthday just ends up being a reminder of that. I hope I can let go of this feeling because it sucks to constantly overthink your position in everyone else’s life.
Thank you for this video - my birthday just passed. I've struggled with my birthday since 2019 (my grandmother passed away a week prior to my birthday). 2022 was literal hell for me and ever since, my birthday blues have gotten worse. Between not wanting to be where I want to be career-wise to the realisation that although I'm able to celebrate others and be there for them, it's not reciprocated when it's my turn; I struggled heavily this year.
it’s my golden birthday in a few days and i feel like this is supposed to be my “best birthday ever,” and the pressure of enjoying that day is making me insane/overwhelmed because my support group isn’t where i want it to be. thank you for making this video 🫶🏼
*I loved this video!! My husband and myself both feel anxiety around our birthdays and from year to year its for different, usually opposite, reasons. I set goals for my 40th that I didn't reach and couldn't take the trip or photoshoot I planned because of the pandemic. The lesson in this was to not put so much pressure on myself based on anyone else timeline. 41 is 9 months away. In that time i've got more than enough time to make it happen. Could you make a video, or direct me to it if it exist, on when a therapist/patient isn't the right fit? I've seen several therapist in the past and one of whom fell asleep in our sessions from time to time, another who didn't seem to care what I said or to really be listening. (I found you from the GQ video and became a fan)*
My anxiety definitely stems from me not being happy with where I am in life and because I feel like I’ve let others control my life. Normally on my birthday I want it to hurry up and be over, and I try to hide from others. I guess I can look at it as a new beginning to start the things I’ve always wanted and put me first.
Its an annual day to relive a bunch of traumas and all the haters - teachers, parents, relatives etc - might alllllll be right. Just for one day. The day before and after are fine but its basically a 24 hr trigger bucket. I hate trying to make it special by myself, year after year after year after year after year so i just get angrier year after year after year after year.
My birthday is today and I just feel like crying every time someone wishes me a happy birthday. I’ve never been sad on my birthday but this year feels different
Have you ever gotten the birthday jitters or blues?
I used to be a little sad about the thought of getting older on my birthday because I felt I wasn’t where I wanted to be at that age. But now I feel as though I’m back on track! I still struggle with indecisiveness on what to do for my birthday last minute though 😂
Yes! I’m turning 23 tomorrow & feeling anxious right now. Like you said, feeling unworthy of love & fear of not accomplishing. Thanks for sharing, feeling less alone in this struggle. It’s just sad that we feel this way on a day when we’re supposed to be happy & celebrating our life. And feeling like this perpetuates the anxiety loop 😩 small reminders & mantras help
@@Marina-hm9vk Happy early birthday! Channel your anxiety into energy toward things you'd like to make progress on by your next birthday. I hope tomorrow's peaceful for you!
Yes! My birthday is in 3 days and I’ve been feeling very depressed and anxious as it arrives, thank you for this video! You have a new subscriber 💕
@@chandlers.5970 So sorry you're feeling this way. I hope that your birthday pleasantly surprises you! Happy early birthday!
I dislike my birthday because I’m usually the one to remember people’s birthday and make them feel special and when it’s my turn that energy isn’t reciprocated
omf same this is my exact problem. You end up feeling so lonely and insignificant, but I realized to just lower my expectations coz people aint shit
Same here... I have my birthday coming up n I know I'll be hurt yet again 😭
exactly! today’s my 16th birthday and no one but my family wished me happy birthday cause i’m pretty sure no one at my school likes me
Yeah this is very relatable.
Bro they are not worth your time. I got separated from the same kind of toxic group of friends during the new semester, and while I was devastated at that time, I'm extremely grateful for the blessing in disguise
For me, About a month before my birthday I start feeling anxious and depressed because I expect people to disappoint me and reject me and not care about me. Growing up my birthdays weren't celebrated and I internalized that as I didn't matter, my life meant nothing to anyone, and I was rejected. As an adult, it reminds me of that.
Thanks for sharing your story ♥️. It sounds like you have some celebrations to catch up on. As adults, we have the opportunity to work on the things that negatively impacted us from our childhood. It can be SO HARD, but the last thing you want to do is prove that the thought about you not mattering is true. You do matter! Take some time to consider who you matter to and why. If you can't think of anything that you've done that matters, make a plan to change that by your next birthday.
Same 🙃
It keeps happening to me.
Exact same thing for me !!😭
Same
Yes finally someone talks about birthday anxiety 😂😭😭... like if I'm alone on my birthday it triggers my abandonment/rejection issues and I start thinking no one really cares.
I relate to that
Yep 😂
Happiest moment of birthdays: that last minute, when it's over
ugh so true.
11:59 pm 😅
The day after, best day after when you can breathe again😅
I guess my perspective is that, "you don't normally treat me well or value me as a person why pretend on my birthday?". Makes me feel so alone especially when this feeling applies to other big milestones.
It’s my birthday in 2 hours and I’m turning. 20 I’v been feeling anxious and like sad/ hurt for days now and I been crying the closer is gets I thought I was being weird but this reassured me I was normal 💕
Absolutely normal! I hope you end the day in a much better space. Happy Birthday, and congrats on surviving your teens!
This is me rn. It's my 20th birthday in 40 mins
same but surprisingly im turning 11
Me too turning 21 in an hour
im turning 20 in two days 😔
I am so sad. Its my birthday in 2 hours, I am crying typing this. everything is just so sad and I don't know why. I got yelled at a lot today for being moody and I don't know why I am so unpleasent.
Me right now 😪
Belated Happy Birthday!!🎂
I hope you are better now
I can wholeheartedly relate with you
im watching this on my bday and i forever felt the pressure to be happy on your day but all i feel is that im doing everything that i am for others and because its a societial norm , i feel really depressed and i hate my bday and this video gave my a sense of assurance that its okay to feel that ..
I hope you found some time to focus on yourself for your birthday. Yep, it's totally normal to feel that pressure.
@@StephAnya yess thank you so much ;)
I turned 40 this week and no friends came to visit or give me a card. The man I've been connected to for a long time didn't even give me a card. I got him really heartfelt gifts for his birthday. I've been so depressed all week. I've celebrated others, but none of my friends celebrated me. And it was such a big birthday too. 😢😢😢
Hey how you doing dear?
It started when i turned 14, im turning 20 tomorrow and i know i have no particular to be sad. I just feel so sad and lousy right now 😞 i have a hard time reminding myself “you’re alive for a reason, people Will be sad if you’re gone. Have some empathy”
Ugh I'm going to be 20 lol
it started when i turned 13 and now i'm 16 (my birthday is oct 26) it's just a reminder that life is moving too fast and i'm getting older :'(
i just turned 20 today and had a mental breakdown in the car on my way to get food. i ended up just saying i want to go home crying my eyes out. i’m in bed now and feel much better i just want today to be over lol
@@jade3501 I hope you’re feeling better! You’re amazing and just take it day by day
started at 14 as well and has bbeen an issue since. just turned 27 last month. thought i was crazy feeling this way, glad to know there is a way to work this out
Watching this 1 hour into my birthday :)))))
Happy Birthday, Nuparth! Celebrate everything that makes you special today
Oh my gosh same🙊
Me right now
me too 🥰🥰 currently 1:11
Sameee
Trying not to self-sabotage before my big 30 this year. Three days away and I’m still in the funk. Trying to reset, reframe and build a new lens. Thank you for this video 💛✨
We’re almost there! Take some time to reflect on what you’re proud of over these last 30 years. Happy Birthday to a fellow Stephanie!
It’s my birthday today and I haven’t been able to stop crying since last night! Thank you so much for normalising the feeling through your video. Self sabotage, that’s exactly what I do. Switch off my phone cos I know people that I expect will wish me, won’t. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I do feel much better. I’m crying a bit less now after watching or maybe I don’t have any water left to produce tears lol.
Happy birthday, Ramya!! I'm so glad that you feel less alone.
omg I cried in the beginning because this is how I've felt for years and everyone thought I was weird or denied my depression about it. Its my birthday soon. Thank you.
So glad it resonated with you. What really helped me is being honest with myself and planning for it instead of denying it. If you need to schedule a moment for tears, maybe watch an emotional movie or talk with someone that you feel comfortable with. Don’t run from it. Best thing that could happen is you plan for sadness and it never comes, but don’t let it sneak up on you. Happy early birthday! ♥️
It's my 24th birthday in less than 3 hours. And for the last 5-6 years I've always felt this anxiety. There were other reasons but the most prevalent one is not doing what I thought I would be by this time. I have been trying to better myself since last year but I know my efforts are far from the best I have to offer. Listening to how you overcame your anxiety was really motivating. I'm glad I will be starting my year with a more positive and driven mindset. Hopefully I reach my goals much sooner than my next birthday! Thank you.
Best of luck to you ! :)
My birthday is in 15 days and I’m turning 30. I’m not happy about it. I know I’m blessed to even see 30, but I’m getting older. I remember when my mom was 30. And now I’m 30. My issue is I’m aging, which means I’m closer to death, and my body is changing. I just feel like I need to do so much before that day. Birthdays were huge for me, but as I get older I’m just not interested. I was planning a trip but I said no I’ll stay home and save my money. It’s just a rush of emotions. Thank you for this video.
after i turned 16 i fell into a awful depression and it ruined my entire summer break, hearing this makes me feel better and i hope it doesnt happend again when i turn 17
Same girl same
This is my problem rn. Awful depression + no friends to spend the birthday with doesn’t make anything cheerful rn :(
I’ll be 17 on June 28
This happened to me when I turned 15 now I’m turning 16 and I feel the same
crying while watching this... i’m so sad it’s literally 26min into my “birthday” but i just don’t even feel like i deserve a birthday
I’m sorry that you’re feeling so down. I hope that your day ended up better than you anticipated. You deserve a good day. We all do.
Same with me😔
I just turned 27 and I practiced self care throughout the day, but that depression started to kick in during the evening. Treated that real quick with a lil Whiskey and Comedy podcasts
Today is my birthday and I am so lucky I found this video. As an army vet it’s difficult to manage my anxiety and stress. Lately, it’s been easier to manage it and truly happy that the RUclips mental health community is always here to offer content creators perspectives. Thank you
I’m so glad you found it useful. Happy birthday!! ♥️
Self-Sabotage, yep that's me. I so needed this video. When you mentioned the jittery 2 months before your birthday, I get that so hard. I also get the same with Christmas and New years. My anxiety is on a high level between October and January.
I never knew my feelings could be put into words. It's a freeing experience to know that there are so many other people who feel this. It's also serendipitous that my birthday is also April 13 ☺️
I’m so glad that you feel seen. My birthday twin ♥️😘 Happy belated!
Finding this exactly one year after this was published. It’s my birthday in 2 hours on September 29th and am feeling so anxious and sad. I just typed feeling anxious on your birthday and this video was the first one that popped up. I’m taking this as a sign from the universe. I’m hoping to find a lot of comfort from this.
I feel exactly what you felt during your birthdays!!!! And I also block everything just so I can try to avoid getting rejected, but ultimately I feel rejected!
Today is my birthday. I'm feeling sad today but I have felt this sadness almost every year that I remember. I'm glad you made this video, thank you ❤️
Me too😊 on my birthday today
You are not alone after 18 I started to feel sad every single birthday including today(my birthday)
My girl I loved this so much. My birthday is a few days from now and I usually have the birthday blues just like you did. However this year I found myself being relatively okay and a lot more at peace... until a few days ago when I got asked the dreaded question - so what are you doing for your birthday. Lol. I legit could not explain why this intense SADNESS came over me - especially since I am usually a very high energies person and I thought I was finally feeling at peace. But girl, I think my issue was exactly what you explained. I was, and have been for a while, terrified by rejection and I absolutely love birthdays. I love to celebrate other people so much but when it comes to my own I get an anxiety that no one would want to celebrate me in the same way or that it would be forced. So like you I’ve self sabotaged a lot! And completely isolated myself on my birthday to from rejection or my expectations not being met. I absolutely loved what you said though that our lives are in our own hands so finding that thing out things that would personally make us feel satisfied and doing that thing is so important and will help us feel more at peace with our lives. I recently started my channel as well and I can tell you that has helped a LOT s well too. ♥️♥️♥️ Thank you SOOO much for this video, it was SO needed!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️🤗 HUGS!!!
You just wrote What I couldn’t put in words . Big 30 In 2 weeks and feeling so many things . I m going to be better this year 😇 .
This is it for me!
I always feel depressed and like crying near every bday that I can remember, specially since I left my home country. since I've been in the US (9 years now) I have dreaded bdays even more. my mother who had never really had much love towards me anyway just seems to hate the day that reminds her I was born, which she has said during arguments. from watching this video I understand now that what makes me feel this way around this time is the social pressure or tradition of being excited for and having fun on your birthday which I usually don't. my new guilt is that my partner now tries to make my bday a big deal and make me excited for it. i feel even more anxious and depressed because i feel like i do not deserve this.
That makes sense! The best thing that you can do for yourself at this point is remind yourself that you do deserve it. Think of things that you've done for yourself or others that you're proud of. If you can't think of anything, ask your partner to help. I hope your next birthday feels like a celebration of who you've become despite having to deal with the hurt from your mother.
It's my 26th birthday in 2 weeks and I feel anxious, disappointed, frustrated and sad because I feel like I haven't achieved much in 26 years. Due to this panoramic, I wasn't able to apply for a job. I got my geologist license in December 2019 and I was about to apply for a job in 2020 but shit happened and everything stopped. I got stuck at home with no job and no goal. Up until now, I am surviving, living with my dad. My birthday just reminds me of wasted time.
This was 11 months ago and I’m assuming your birthday is coming around again or just passed. How do you feel now? ❤️ I really relate to your comment as I am turning 26 in two weeks too on September 5 and I graduated from college but I struggle so much with anxiety and ADHD has ruined my life not being able to find a job and loving with my parents.
Sorry for the long reply but your comment really helped me feel less alone 🥺
Happy Birthday my sweet niece. My birthday anxiety was my mother had cancer and past on March 31st in 2007 my bd is on March 23rd. So March became bittersweet.
Wow! So many things can impact our special moments. Thank you for sharing. ♥️
@@StephAnya I have shared with many in my reborn doll community. Many of us are married,single or divorced .
It's fascinating how birthdays have the power to find deep-seated fears. For years, I've approached this day with a sense of trepidation, fearing that the effort I put into planning and celebrating would only raise expectations, leading to inevitable disappointment. In these moments, a haunting thought lingers: 'Am I not valued enough to mark my own existence? Am I truly insignificant, and do people truly overlook my being?'
This underlying fear of inadequacy persists, and I struggle with the belief that no matter how much effort I put, it will never be enough. These feelings of sadness weigh upon me.
But then, I delve deeper into understanding why I feel this way on a day that, in essence, is no different from any other in the year. Perhaps it is because, deep down, we all desire acknowledgment on our birthday. As children, we enjoy the the praise and pampering given to us by our parents. As we grow older and gain independence, a yearning for that same affection and recognition resurfaces.
Perhaps it is because, on ordinary days, we don't feel heard enough. On our birthday, this absence of recognition is felt more acutely. It is a day when we're reminded of the first day of our existence, and our longing to be seen, acknowledged, and heard is heightened.
Tomorrow, I make a conscious choice: I choose joy. I will focus on nurturing positive thoughts, casting aside all feelings of unworthiness. I shall embrace the beauty of the day, whether I spend it in solitude or in the company of others.
I've decided to live, to refuse to let grief overshadow this day of my existence. The feelings of unworthiness will not be my enemies because I have chosen to revel in the beauty of this special day. I shall sip on a cocktail, enjoy delicious food, perhaps indulge a bit and lose myself in the melodies of karaoke.
I've decided that it's perfectly acceptable to be alone, for it will not hinder my enjoyment of the things that bring me happiness, much like any other day.
Bless this video. Tomorrow is my birthday and I am feeling so low and blue. My therapist left the practice that accepts my insurance, so I don't have anyone to let it out with. I appreciate this and you. ♥
So sorry to hear. I hope today pleasantly surprises you. Happy birthday!!🎁🎈🎊
I'm here because today is my birthday and I feel sad right now😔 This video made me cry in the beginning but I'm glad reading Y'all comments. It feels better to know there many other people who feels the same.
Same ❤
This is much needed. I’m turning 30 next year. Usually I get excited about my birthday especially with the fact I was born a preemie and my family puts in a lot of effort when it comes to birthdays as well (be it low key or an active social calendar), but I’ve been getting more blue or jittery when it gets closer and closer to the day. The first reason feel especially true because it feels like a lot more doors are shutting than windows opening. I look forward to the incoming age related confidence and I’m enjoying 29 so far. I’m also done with fighting the impending ageism and unnecessary “milestone” comparisons with my younger & older peers. I’m focusing more on taking my final year of my 20s as the foundation of who I want to be in my 30s as well as living out the things I didn’t get a chance to do because of school or work. So far that’s been going pretty well for me.
Watching this video for the first time as someone who’s experiencing the birthday blues at an all time high today. Hearing you so happy to have reached 130 subscribers when you made this video, to now having 133K… I’m in awe of you and your accomplishment and is just a testament to show you that you were right- these resources were needed!!! So thank you❤️🙌🏼
Hi Steph! Thank you so much for making this video. Today is my birthday, and I've e been feeling a little down for the exact same reason. I get so anxious and rob myself of happiness because of the expectations that I put on my friends. It's really nice that you could relate because I honestly thought that I was the only one. I appreciate your videos; thanks a lot!
This was immensely helpful! My bday is tomorrow and I'm going to treat myself to the best and take the day however it comes!
Happy birthday ♥️
Steph, your RUclips channel has changed my life for the better. For someone who can afford therapy these videos are such a privilege.
I’m so thankful you were able to push past the fear of starting it and are now flourishing and changing lives ❤️
4 years later, you’re at 257k subscribers 🎉 and still growing! Thank you for this! It’s my birthday today and I’d say the main reason is about aging and getting older and the whole nostalgia for the past. But what she said in the last part of the video, you really spoke to me and reminded me of what I cold be doing!
This video let me breathe a huge sigh of relief because I finally felt seen and heard. Thank you for creating it.
I love the personal touch in this video! Keep them coming
This makes a lot of sense, all my life my parents made a big deal about my birthday, my dad would always get me huge flowers and nice presents and my parties would be crowded with all my friends and relatives. Now that I've moved out for college I don't get to have that kind of birthday anymore. Which makes me really anxious because I still expect my birthday to be special like it used to be but it never happens because my parents aren't here and I have a smaller circle. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm just really sad.
Same here! My parents used to spoil me for my birthday and now my expectations are too high and I get depressed and frustrated every single year
Watching this today cause I was wondering if feeling blue around your birthday was actually a thing. Glad to know it's normal. I always loved my birthday, and still do, but last year before I turned 20, I started getting a bit blue. It ended up being one of the best years of my life💕 So I didn't expect to feel birthday blues again this year... but here they are. I think it's due to my expectations regarding the celebrations, that are suffering due to finals. But it's ok. It's currently 2 days until my birthday, so I'm trying to cheer myself up and plan out things I love to do. Even though not all my friends will be around, I know some of them will, and I'll make sure to enjoy this birthday, knowing that a whole new age brings out so many awesome possibilities. Steph, I wanted to congratulate you on your channel. As I watch this, you no longer have 130 subscribers, but 147k😱🤩 That's incredible. Keep up the great work❤️ Best regards from Brazil💚
In 22 minutes is my birthday and I've been down, blue and crying the whole week. Thank you for this video, I needed it. 🙏🙏
4 years later and you now have over 200.000 subscribers! Congratulations! 😊🥳
It’s the first time I‘ve heard anyone talk about birthday anxiety and it’s always so great to hear that you’re not alone. I have a hard time letting people get close to me and at the same time long for deep friendships. Birthdays confront me with the fact that I don’t have the kind of friend group I would like to have and I also feel uncomfortable with being the center of attention. I have been going on vacation for my birthday for several years now- mostly to have a great answer to the „What are you doing for your birthday?“ question… Your video has made me take a closer look at that. I want to shift these patterns!
I appreciate this video I’m turning 21 tomorrow and I’m scared and sad and don’t even feel like celebrating it anymore just felt like I was the only one who felt like this
It’s 2024 and I’m watching this. I’m turning 55 on 8/12 and cool with that and was happy. This year I finally didn’t have bday anxiety. I just don’t like being vulnerable. The happiness turned to sadness when I extended an olive branch to family members for a bday celebration. Let’s just say I canceled everything and now I’m in a funk that I want to get out of. Love your energy by the way. 🫶🏼🙏🏽
Watching this the day after my birthday❣️ I had a meltdown per usual lol. I was thinking of going away next year, not necessarily to sabotage but to just escape these mixed emotions. I have spent every one of my birthday’s sad and disappointed
The success is in putting it out. I’m checking this out on my birthday. That phrase just freed me up
Happy birthday guys 🎉🥳🥳🥳
You all are awesome.Keep making earth a better place💕💕💕
Thank you! It’s my birthday this year and I thought I had gotten over my birthday blues. Coming from childhood trauma and severe ptsd when I got married and got celebrated/embraced by my husband’s side of the family really got me depressed. It’s like as soon as I “worked” on celebrating myself, bam I get triggered from my mom wishing me happiness/well on my special day. I think it’s the anxiety that my husband wants to celebrate me but I’m waiting for that “unexpected incident” to take over my birthday. This video is truly helpful!
I can relate. It’s heartbreaking to be sad on ur special day. It’s hard because ur family will go crazy for this one person’s bday and won’t do the same for u because you’re not good enough
It's my birthday today ❤️🎉 I needed a video like this, thank you ❤️
I’m 33 single and happy and I enjoy the time to myself. I hardly ever feel lonely because I do have my friends and family and enjoy spending time with myself. I don’t worry over finding a man because I trust that if God intends for me to have one then it will happen and if He doesn’t then I still am happy single. The only time I really feel just a pinch of not being content with my singleness is on my birthday. I don’t know why, but maybe because my friends and family aren’t really over-the-top with making birthdays special 😂. On my birthday is the only time I feel like I wish I had someone to make me feel special for the day. My birthday is coming up later this month so I pray that this year is different in the way I feel about not having someone to celebrate with.
I just found your channel and I subscribed! This video definitely makes me not feel as much birthday depression/anxiety as my birthday approaches.
2024 watching this. I’m turning 55 on 8/12 and cool with that and was happy. This year I finally didn’t have bday anxiety. I just don’t like being vulnerable. The happiness turned to sadness when I extended an olive branch to family members for a bday celebration. Let’s just say I canceled everything and now I’m in a funk that I want to get out of. Love your energy by the way. 🫶🏼🙏🏽
I’m so glad I found your video. I’m turning 30 next week, I’ve been looking forward to it because deep down I feel it’s going to be a very important year personally, I’m at a point in which I feel very content with my life and plans. I’ve never been much of a birthday planner, for me it’s more about keeping a positive and happy feeling during the day, I just invited my closest loved ones to spend the day at my home doing things I enjoy, but somehow this anticipation anxiety was taking over me out of nowhere, like if I needed to invite more people or plan something bigger. Your explanation only made me realize I was starting to judge myself, there’s nothing wrong with the way I want to celebrate my new year of life. Having a stress free day, surrounded by the closest friends or family and keeping it all about joy and gratitude. Thank you 💕
HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH. You’ve been a huge help during this quarantine for me ❤️.
Thank you! That means so much to me!
I have taken to hiding away from the world on my birthdays. Getting older does not bother me, but I get struck with both grief and depression each year, just like on the major holiday seasons. I had a traumatic childhood, and all my family, including my grandparents - the two people who truly loved me - have died years ago. Although I give a lot of love and attention to friends, I have found that I get forgotten about. Some years, I tried to throw a little event, but I felt as though people expected me to be the entertainment, rather than them actively contributing to me/us having a nice time. Hosting/entertaining makes me anxious on a good day; it's too much pressure when I'm feeling low. So I gave up on trying to make my day special in a celebratory way. I just wished I didn't have to be so sad. Birthdays have made me miserable for as long as I can remember. Getting attention simply for being alive weirded me out. Hearing stories about others' parents going above and beyond to create a special holiday doesn't make me feel better, I have to say.
i don’t like my birthday because of all the anxiety but the thing is that i have a twin, so i feel pressured to pretend i love celebrating my (our)birthday.and it kinda sucks🤦🏻♀️trying to be the cheerful happy person is exhausting sometimes.
Happy Birthday, Steph! I am watching this on 1/13/2022, but happy birthday whenever your birthday is! You give me hope!! :)
I absolutely love your approach to therapy! I’ve definitely experienced some of these things, especially the passage of time. I didn’t have a childhood and every year reminds me that I just never will have a carefree time in life.
Wow, that’s a tough one. I hope that you’re able to let your hair down sometimes by being silly, wild, etc. I think that as adults, we sometimes take life so seriously and forget the importance of adventure. I’ll have to think more on this though because of course we can’t escape the reality of our responsibilities. Thank you so much for sharing ♥️
Steph Anya I’ll definitely have to let to let up and just have fun. I hope I learn before I’m 60! Lol thanks for the feedback
Today is my 20th and for some reason I feel more anxious than usual but this Vid is helping me get through the day , Thankyou so much.
You are blessed to have a dad you can talk to. Not all of us are blessed with that
Thank you so much this really helped me. I’m going through a divorce and just feel stuck and I realize there are some changes I need to make. I’m using the last 4 months of this year to get to where I want and need to be to be the man that God has called me to be. Thank you for your vulnerability!
Happy birthday!! Wow you are so knowledgeable about psychology and all these dynamics. I love learning about it all!
So glad to have you here! Thank you, Gabby!
I would always feel sad and anxious on my birthday, this year I wasn’t sure. Since I am away and all alone. But your video reminded me that this bday is different. I put my worries aside and got brave enough to go for divorce after 26 years of marriage. I am proud of myself and will celebrate this special birthday on my own. Tomorrow I will see what I like to do and will do it.
this video helped me a lot. My birthday is in the winter and I've never had a good one always lonely but now I'm really trying to change my perspective. Also, you're stunning!
I hope your next one is more peaceful. Thank you for that sweet compliment!
I like celebrating holidays, birthday, etc... any reason to give gifts. My birthday tends to be the same week as a fun event my friends and I go to every year. This past year, I've been told by more than one person that my birthday was forgotten about.
I realize I started to tell myself that 'I'm just a forgettable person' or I just don't matter as much in our friend group.
While i haven't found a solution....it's good to know I'm not the only one dreading my birthday when it comes.
Today is my birthday and I’ve been feeling so anxious for some reason😔
Happy birthday. I hope you feel better
Don't worry! Sams I just has mine on April 13 and it was depressing. I had to cry silently in bed bc my parents were in the next room and I'm not allowed to close doors at night
This is maybe one of my most relatable videos I’ve seen on YT. I feel so seen!
This video is spot on in regards to how I felt on my birthday this year…
I woke up on my birthday and listened to this and it really helped me! My self agency activated and I gave my church fam the opportunity to wish me happy birthday ^_^
Thank you! Yes, can relate to that one time in the year feeling that you are loved and cared for. Yes, the tension and pain can start weeks before.... Really working deep with my parts holding those beliefs and disappointments, turning 40 this year and for the first time travelling, to really own my own special day.
My birthday is in 12 days. This was a very enlightening video and helped my mood a bit. I resonated a lot with feeling like the part you were saying about you have expectations for yourself and that could be the source for the sadness for my birthday. At the same time though, my family said when I was younger I never really seemed to enjoy my birthdays, and all I can remember is being sad and being alone every year. I do have stuff planned for myself this time around though.
My birthday is days away & I don’t feel like celebrating it because I don’t feel happy about other things & I don’t have a solid support system so I just feel alone but then I remember, God has me here for a reason.
Hi Steph
Thank you so much! You are so kind♥️
i started my youtube channel, and i still feel so much anxiety about my birthday this week! but you're right, I do put this pressure on people to remember and make it big. i feel bad that I do that, but it always leads me to disappointment because no one can ever live up to my own expectations
Lol. My dad can’t even remember how old I am or when my birthday is. He had to ask me. I don’t really care for when my birthday is or even just the month. I don’t ask for anything because I feel guilty if I do. Well for anyone’s birthdays that are coming up or have happened recently then happy birthday ^-^
This made me feel sm better. You've helped me understand why I'm always sad around my birthday even though I grew up being thrown parties and what not. Your background completely resonates with me and it makes sm sense. My birthday is in 9 days, I'm turning 20. I'll conquer those fears❤️
This has encouraged me SO MUCH. Your channel inspired me to finally start mine and with my birthday in a week-- I feel a lot better about it. I see your growth in three years girl CONGRATS!
hey steph!! beautiful video!! abs happy birthday, I'm super happy to join your channel xx
Hi Elizabeth! Thank you for your kind words and welcome! ♥️
Happy Birthday Steph Anya!!🎈 Wow! This may be my favorite video thus far. Thank you for sharing your personal experience with the world. 😊👍
Thank you for watching and those kind words!
"The success is putting it out, the success isn't how it's received" Thank you for sharing this word Steph Anya! (nice name though;)
Hey! My bday is today and as a fellow psychologist I understand this so much 😭😭.
Happy birthday! Yeah, the struggle is real. Thank you for watching! ♥️
35 today and on the verge of tears. I feel lonely, forgotten, and sad. I have high expectation for birthdays - and now the day is almost over and I just feel - old and alone. =(
I turned 32 yesterday. I feel selfish for hating it. What a let down it was. Yet people have died younger than me. I really hate it.
Today is my birthday ❤️ I'm turning sixteen and feel nothing. But I wanna feel happy for myself, I wanna celebrate. But I feel like no one wants to with me. But maybe some day, someone will. Thank youuu
Great video!! Today is my birthday and this totally hit the spot. I am living in a foreign country alone...loved this! Thank you! You have wonderful energy❤❤🎉❤
I'm used to pretending everything is okay especially when it's my birthday. I just had an aha moment. I now get it! I didn't have the words for it (at all) and thanks to this video, I'm able to acknowledge those feelings. Thank you so much Steph Anhya for the amazing work you do! I've been watching your videos since your appearances on GQ and thoroughly enjoyed your analyses. Thanks to you, I've seriously considered a career as a marriage and family therapist becuase of how much you have helped me. I'm just so grateful to you!
Thank you so much! Let me know if you decide to move forward with it. I love it!
Social media put so much pressure to act a type of way on ur bday, when it’s rlly “not a movie” like that
7 days until my birthday, i always had something special for all of my borthdays, i would go places or throw a pool party, but this year i didnt want anything and it wasnt necessarily that, i just wanted something different but i couldnt think of anything. no matter how hard i tried i couldnt come up with anything besides what i normally do and it made me mad, so i just told my mom to not do anything for me and that me and my bestie would just hang out at the mall. i feel content because i get to spend time with my best friend on my special day but i also dont because i always lived up to the expectation of something big and wonderful on my birthday that would make me happy, so now im just crying my days away until i hopefully feel better on my birthday, this video helped a lot thnx ❤️
thank you for your story, hearing it made me think of my own experience and my behavior and anxiety towards my birthday makes so much more sense now
it’s my birthday tomorrow and so much has changed, im scared, last year I had a loving boyfriend who made it all special but this year im scared no body will remember. I’m always someone who makes everyone feel really great on their birthdays and im scared this year won’t be like the previous year. I acknowledge everything that has changed for the better since last year but I deeply miss not feeling insecure about friendships. My birthday just ends up being a reminder of that. I hope I can let go of this feeling because it sucks to constantly overthink your position in everyone else’s life.
Watching this video was the best gift I could've given myself today! Thank you & best wishes.
Thank you for this video - my birthday just passed. I've struggled with my birthday since 2019 (my grandmother passed away a week prior to my birthday). 2022 was literal hell for me and ever since, my birthday blues have gotten worse. Between not wanting to be where I want to be career-wise to the realisation that although I'm able to celebrate others and be there for them, it's not reciprocated when it's my turn; I struggled heavily this year.
it’s my golden birthday in a few days and i feel like this is supposed to be my “best birthday ever,” and the pressure of enjoying that day is making me insane/overwhelmed because my support group isn’t where i want it to be. thank you for making this video 🫶🏼
*I loved this video!! My husband and myself both feel anxiety around our birthdays and from year to year its for different, usually opposite, reasons. I set goals for my 40th that I didn't reach and couldn't take the trip or photoshoot I planned because of the pandemic. The lesson in this was to not put so much pressure on myself based on anyone else timeline. 41 is 9 months away. In that time i've got more than enough time to make it happen.
Could you make a video, or direct me to it if it exist, on when a therapist/patient isn't the right fit? I've seen several therapist in the past and one of whom fell asleep in our sessions from time to time, another who didn't seem to care what I said or to really be listening. (I found you from the GQ video and became a fan)*
My anxiety definitely stems from me not being happy with where I am in life and because I feel like I’ve let others control my life. Normally on my birthday I want it to hurry up and be over, and I try to hide from others. I guess I can look at it as a new beginning to start the things I’ve always wanted and put me first.
Its an annual day to relive a bunch of traumas and all the haters - teachers, parents, relatives etc - might alllllll be right. Just for one day. The day before and after are fine but its basically a 24 hr trigger bucket. I hate trying to make it special by myself, year after year after year after year after year so i just get angrier year after year after year after year.
Just because of the others who can ‘t appreciate you doesn’t mean you’re not special
Starting my micro loc journey with my birthday in 4 days!!!! I think this will really help me move past my annual bday blues!
My birthday is today and I just feel like crying every time someone wishes me a happy birthday. I’ve never been sad on my birthday but this year feels different