Alien: that is a 12nuxw(ft) class 5 casdliub (idk) it’s very dangerous, do not get within 60nuxw(ft) of it. Human: Imma pet the big cutie. Alien: DO NOT Human:[already hugging the dog looking creature] floof. My baby. I luv uuuuuuu😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@minecraftermad The laws of physics apparently are much like the Pirate's Code, at least in HFY stories...namely, that they are more along the lines of strong suggestions.
somebody tells you that you cant kill mice using pvc/avc/abs pipe and compressed air... a few hours later... *screams from horrified woman* "thought you said we couldnt...." *looks at mouse splatter behind her on the side of the building* yes...thats a real story.. we used mostly scap and junk and build a... ratcannon.. was triggered when something broke an IR beam... dumped air at 180lb pressure into the pipe form a large feed pipe and.. wel the intent was to sent them flying.. the splat was the aim being a bit off after a block slipped out from under the outside part.. and... peanut butter was great bait.. that thing actually worked way better then expected... and funnier..
@@kylesmith4173 "How to make your human do the impossible : tell them that there is absolutely no way their idea can succeed. They would try anyway, but for unknown reasons, this increases the chances of success of mentionned action"
I'd say that there is something inherently 'jackass' about the collective human unconscious, rather. We've all had moments, in our youth especially, when we've done shit BECAUSE it sounded absolutely nuts to do it.
Human: *comes back on board, something wriggling in the sleeve of the space suit* Alien: what did you get this time? Human: *pulls out a snake-like creature* it’s just a baby! Alien: It’s a serpentine apex predator with a venom class of 10. It’s adult form is 27 feet long, but I feel like that won’t stop you from keeping it so I won’t bother to try.
@@ravenouself4181Alien: I said I'm not gonna bother to try! Just keep it away from us, and...I don't know...feed it and water it and whatever. Human: Yaaaaay! Imma call you Phil.
"Why was there a pirate fleet on the outer edges of known space?" I completely agree, it's ridiculous. Any sensible pirate would inhabit the heart of mapped territory.
I mean it still is a little ridiculous. Pirate ships rely on stealing from other crews to get resources, and there don't seem to be many ships to steal from. I mean pirates still need to eat and make repairs on their ships. Where are they going to do that in the middle of nowhere?
Alien: this is a Class 2 Deathworld, anything in it i most likely to die in a few days Australian aboard the ship: huh, looks like the park near my house
The Floridian: "Hey! I think I see my house!" Aussie: "This ain't Earth, you drongo!" Floridian: "It's called a joke, you dork." All four Terrans start laughing. The guy from India remarks that he's looking forward to meeting what looked like a giant cobra on the Drone Footage. Alien to its captain: "Uh, I suggest we sent the Humans."
Okay, we got a crew stranded and 6 days left for them to fly back we need thirty, any ideas: Human engeneer : what if we use a smaller relativity feeld in the ships relativity feeld to railgun a shuttle to there That's ridiculos... And dangerous... And can probably rip the ship apart... Human engeneer : I'll take that as a yes, come on we got stuff to prepare
I don't know which one I like more. "Welcome to Jackass" or the intern killing a 3 meter tall predator with a transport board he turned into a splat trap.
I cackled when the damn _INTERN_ was cleaver enough to outsmart a damned predator with an over glorified trolly. 1 Ton moved at 8 meters on a standard gravity world? It’s elementary dear friends, I call it “Splat speed”. Although, can it still work? Because if it has multi res that’s a damn permanent and useful item. I’d have also recommended to place a few firearms for the Lieutenant and the Intern on the “Human” list. Doesn’t hurt to have some “kill it with fire” kit for the listing. God, that was fucking cool though. And the response for “Dragon” the pet was the same as a fun little quote. “They planted LANDMINES out there?! W-we walk our dogs out there...”-Seras Victoria, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged.
I suddenly remmember all those tower defense videogames like OCRS-MUST-DIE where a springboard is a legitimate way to defend your base from invaders,it's hillarious that it actually sound plausible now.It's a fccking lethal trampoline.
i remember seeing a thing about how in dire situations to tell vocally announce how terrible the situation was, it was impossible to deal with, and how everyone was going to die and whatnot directly to the human on your crew for the Watch This protocol.
@@lucielm admittedly, you could very easily succumb to heatstroke in 120 degree heat with the near 100% humidity, but as long as you drank a lot of water along with salt and electrolytes you should be fine.
"When someone says something can't be done, they usually mean that they can't do it, but maybe you can . . ." -Human saying, usually uttered before they do something that, if anyone else had tried it, couldn't be done.
"you cannot get X item on the roof of the building without a crane" 5 rednecks and 3hrs later.. same boss "did the crane truck show up yet?" "no??? where are the items???" "installed and working, the dead units can be removed when the crane gets here" "how the hell did you... wait... never mind... i dont want to know" well... when you just wana get a job done, and have a bunch of redneck geeks and a fucking welding/machine/etc shop worth fo stuff to work with... it wasnt easy but... the night crew had to help remove the old units off the roof with the crane operators help... he got stuck in traffic for amost 6hrs that day... poor sob... that thing was not a fun drive...
So apparently this is a popular video and you guys want more! Unfortunately no more chapters have been written. However don't despair! If you want more series like this that are strong and long, I highly recommend 'Humans Don't Make Good Pets', 'Job For A Deathworlder' and 'Sexy Space Babes' to quench your thirst for more!
Cool, you should pin your comment to the top, I was just starting to scroll the comments to see if there was any more from this story as it looks like it is going to be a good one. Great videos too.
"Uh... Those specs describe Florida." The other Humans chuckle at that. "What's a 'Florida'?" the Xeno asked. "It's a popular vacation spot where our old ones - at least in America - go to retire to a life of leisure. The local Humans are... Strange, to say the least, but it's a wonderfully pleasant place to visit. In fact, a lot of our favorite relaxation spots match these specs for large portions of the year." "V-vacation? Leisure?? RELAXATION SPOTS?!?" The Xeno sits down slowly. "Yup... In fact, this valley we're in seems like a nice place for a campground or something. Maybe even a small town to go with it... To protect the campers from those things." The Xeno just sits there for nearly an hour in stunned silence.
@@Morning_Dewdrop Warhammer 40k joke. One of the alien factions, the ork's, alter reality around them based on their own beliefs. The most comical one being "Red goes faster" "Yellow goes boom more" "Purple is stealth" "Blue is luck" "green is best" ect - all of these have/have had in game applications throughout the games history.
You guys may have noticed that I've narrated a lot of stories from r/HFY instead of 4chan this month. Many of these stories have further chapters. Are there any series you want me to continue narrating?
We humans tend to get so uncomfortable when nothing is trying to kill us - if it's not a deathworld, we'll probably waste away from boredom and depression.
When the main ship finally arrives, "We're here to save you!" New Colonists flipping a dragon on the barbeque, "Eh? Wot? Hey, you want some sky gator?"
@dementededge3266I mean we love being alone in a rickety shack in a swamp surrounded by a million zombies. That's our idea of fun. We daydream about how to zombie proof our house. Humans evolved on permanent defense and we turned our weaknesses into strengths and we put our massive brain to body volume ratio to work.
I got bored and ran the numbers. Kitty was hit with between 900 and 1,500 lb of acceleration... Roughly equal to a quarter pound of TNT. Yes Kitty died.
And that's the human response even if they are told they're about to be dropped on the planet with nothing but the clothes on their back. Meanwhile the aliens response is them being told they'll have to spend months without access to a shuttle or the main ship but plenty of supplies dropped off for them.
Human guide to alien wildlife: If it love to be petted: It is a pet If not: if it look cute and can be acomodated to domestic life: yes If not: Is food
@@PodreyJenkin138 Unfortionally there doesn't appear to be enough source material at the moment, this video has read 2/3 of the stories the guy has put out here is a link to the 3rd one: www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/jvgfb3/stranded_on_a_deathworld_02_qualifications/
We’re stuck on a deserted island on a deserted planet in the middle of monsoon season! We’ve no weapons and few medical supplies! What are we gonna do when something shows up? Kill it with a hover transport?! Achievement Unlocked: kill something with a hover transport
Sounds like the tropical side of 'snow' but instead of soft ice, Hard Ice with Typhoons driven to wreck roofs but still treat it as extra angry weather. It is uncommon here in SEA, but sure does we'll record the hell out of that strange weather.
Davis: "Question... if it creams anything that comes close all over the ceiling, how are you going to disarm it when we need to leave?" Nick: "Ah. Hah... ah, fuck."
Definitely want more, I will say with pride when it was said what he used for the trap I guessed how it worked even before it was explained. Which is why when I play rpgs I give people head aches with my insanity.
I swear to god, you hand a human a handful of grass, a feather, and four acorns and tell them they cannot find a way to kill something with them, they will manage it out of pure spite.
Love this story, have listened to it several times. Always feels like it should have a follow on segment to further cover the activities of the stranded til the time of their eventual rescue.
This is a good use of Chekhov's gun. The simple explanation of the transport board's principle of operation is ignored for a good while and then becomes the punchline.
Hey, don't underestimate a species that's native to a deathworld. One must also carefully consider that different areas on even a deathworld might be more deadly than other areas. Consider how real-life modern Australians tend to either light-heartedly brag a bit about how everything there tries to kill people, or they'll try to downplay it so that such "rumors" don't mess up their tourism market. 😄
It's amazing what our species can adapt to and consider "normal" after sufficient exposure. To someone from Florida, hurricanes and gators are just another Tuesday. Ask a Canadian or Alaskan why they're not freaking out about 2 meters of snow or a moose in the freaking backyard and they'll just shrug. Aussies are the same way; lethal jellyfish in the water? Their surfers just put on wetsuits or hell, even pantyhose (top and bottom!) to block the stingers. Magpies swooping at you? "Oh, right; nesting season. Forgot about that; sorry." If it doesn't kill or maim us, we just start to normalize it. It's no wonder aliens would think we're all insane; we kind of are~
@@alexisgrunden1556 I think it has to do with human innovation & invention of technologies...It's allowed us to adapt & survive changing conditions over time. Evolution is slow for adaption but technology allows fast adaptation.
@@MidnightDStroyer Nope; just take a look at people who came from abusive homes, or lived with a malignant narcissist, or have only ever had horrible relationships. They're not used to being treated well, because to them, it's not 'normal'; their normal is our awful. We adapt and get used to some truly terrible sh*t to survive..
One of the smartest things ever said. Don't tell us it's impossible. Just let us get on with doing it. We may not have any idea WHY it worked, but we will figure out how to make it work.
So basically the transport board is one gravity pulse cannon if it is set right. And none even needed to physically change it, except for turning it upside down. I have seen the Chekov's gun but I didn't understood it until then.
"The humans are standed on a deathworld" "What class" "2" "By the time we pick them up they will have made a vacation cabin with plumbing and be sitting on their padio sipping drinks with little umbrellas, their only concern being how to pass time" "I don't understand" "Their homeworld is a class 8 deathworld, class 2 is more relaxing than the most peaceful and controlled vacation and relaxation locations"
FATE - So I have now stranded you on a place with near-no-supplies, the absolute barest of essentials needed to live, and a "super predator" - How quickly can you adapt to survive? Time now. Go!" Hoo-mon - "Open season! YEE-HAW!!!!!!!"
Alien: It's a class 2 deathworld. We're all going to die.
Human: I wounder if we can market it as a vacation resort.
Alien: that is a 12nuxw(ft) class 5 casdliub (idk) it’s very dangerous, do not get within 60nuxw(ft) of it.
Human: Imma pet the big cutie.
Alien: DO NOT
Human:[already hugging the dog looking creature] floof. My baby. I luv uuuuuuu😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@zoestone8504 casdliub could be rank. As in rank 5.
@@aronnemcsik thanks I hadn’t thought of that!😀 I literally just keyboard smashed and hoped for the best🤣😂😅
When they were talking about the world, 50° in summer, monsoons, tornados, earthquakes, etc. The humans are sitting there "...and?"
Human's body: Engage adaptation sequence. Time to become the apex predator of this planet too.
Implying a human can't kill one thing with another thing is almost certain to result in the human making you eat your words.
Yup
Alien : "You surely cannot kill this predator with your pants !"
Human who had already started to make the trap : "no, I need to use the belt too"
@@chrisb9143 Private! How in the HELL did you pass basic? Watch, you only need ONE of those pant legs. Don’t waste your gear, son!
@@spatan9835 "Sir, with all due respect, I will use the belt to keep the pants intact, there are mosquitos around"
and more literally the thing you said couldn’t be killed, need those calories to survive.
"This is T.S.S. Prometheus and welcome to Jackass."
WHAT AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING CHAD. THAT IS BRILLIANT.
I KNOW, when I heard that I started cackling in joy.
todays trick: accelerating a vessel to lightspeed inside another vessel while ignoring all laws of physics
@@minecraftermad The laws of physics apparently are much like the Pirate's Code, at least in HFY stories...namely, that they are more along the lines of strong suggestions.
As soon as I heard it I started laughing.
i loved this part
Alien 1 : "You cannot kill someone wi-"
Alien 2 : "Don't tempt them"
Random bored human : "please, finish your sentence"
Please do I need ideas.
somebody tells you that you cant kill mice using pvc/avc/abs pipe and compressed air...
a few hours later... *screams from horrified woman*
"thought you said we couldnt...."
*looks at mouse splatter behind her on the side of the building*
yes...thats a real story.. we used mostly scap and junk and build a... ratcannon..
was triggered when something broke an IR beam... dumped air at 180lb pressure into the pipe form a large feed pipe and.. wel the intent was to sent them flying.. the splat was the aim being a bit off after a block slipped out from under the outside part..
and... peanut butter was great bait.. that thing actually worked way better then expected... and funnier..
“-a fucking feather.”
@@sirbreadstick5664 Makes a blow dart!
@@AshenTechDotComtalk about live ammo!
"You literally telepathed the word "Hiss"!"
Ziya is best sentience
And she's horrified at the trap he's made.
Telepathic feathersnek FTW.
Smartass and snuggly!
@@asurasyn Pretending to be her fancy new scarf. I am sad I don't have a Ziya friend in my life.
That was clearly an ashamed yes.
“You can’t kill something with a transport board”
*little did he know, the human took that as a challenge*
Hold my beer
YOU WERE IMBIBING AN INTOXICANT THIS WHOLE TIME!?
Challenge accepted
@@ChronoTriggerHappy well thats how good idears are made
Oh he broke rule 3, Never tell a human what they CAN’T DO!
@@kylesmith4173 "How to make your human do the impossible : tell them that there is absolutely no way their idea can succeed. They would try anyway, but for unknown reasons, this increases the chances of success of mentionned action"
There is something innately hilarious that jackass of all things remains in the human collective unconscious
I'd say that there is something inherently 'jackass' about the collective human unconscious, rather.
We've all had moments, in our youth especially, when we've done shit BECAUSE it sounded absolutely nuts to do it.
@@malcolmthorne9779 we do what we must, because we can.
Never underestimate the power of humans to weaponize our own insanity
As it damn well should!
As it damn well should!
“You can’t kill something with a transport board”
Human: watch me.
if you didn't kill it the first time, you didn't hit it har enough!
Human: I'm about to do what is called a progamer move.
Challenge accepted
a "hold my beer" move if ever i heard one.
Human(s): "And I took that personally."
“You can’t kill something with a transport board”
"...AND I TOOK THAT PERSONALLY!"
Come on guys 100% transport board only run!
They totally should have said something like “you can’t get us off this world in a week” 😂
Alien: you can't kill something with a transport board!
Humans: not with that attitude.
Huge cat predator: exists
Aliens: SO SCARY!
Humans: GET IN MY BELLY!
Also Humans: Tastes like chicken
Me I gotta find a kitten I will have one as a pet
@@ONEIL311 SANITY!
@@markmulder9845alien: EVERYTHING TASTES LIKE CHICKEN TO YOU WTF
Human: *comes back on board, something wriggling in the sleeve of the space suit*
Alien: what did you get this time?
Human: *pulls out a snake-like creature* it’s just a baby!
Alien: It’s a serpentine apex predator with a venom class of 10. It’s adult form is 27 feet long, but I feel like that won’t stop you from keeping it so I won’t bother to try.
Humans: But it's so cuuuuuuute
@@ravenouself4181Alien: I said I'm not gonna bother to try! Just keep it away from us, and...I don't know...feed it and water it and whatever.
Human: Yaaaaay! Imma call you Phil.
But look at it it he's adorable
She DID bite me, but it stings less than mosquito at home and we have millions of them back home.
Other aliens: WRRRRGGGHHHHHH, YOU ARE INSANE.
Human: I named him "Noodle"
"Why was there a pirate fleet on the outer edges of known space?"
I completely agree, it's ridiculous. Any sensible pirate would inhabit the heart of mapped territory.
Looking for a safe place to rest and refit.
The best spots are where they'll never search for a pirate.
To be fair there aren't many pirates in the Mediterranean
I didn't expect a reasonable argument. I thought i would see a meme or a quote.
I mean it still is a little ridiculous. Pirate ships rely on stealing from other crews to get resources, and there don't seem to be many ships to steal from. I mean pirates still need to eat and make repairs on their ships. Where are they going to do that in the middle of nowhere?
Humans are to alien species as cockroaches are to humans:
Damn near unkillable, will survive in any situation, but if you touch it, it dies.
Yup, basically
and we can and will hiss at you if threatened
if we ever explained cockroaches to aliens they would quarantine the planet
@@WardNightstone and rightfully so
@@WardNightstone unless the are similar to cockroaches
Alien: this is a Class 2 Deathworld, anything in it i most likely to die in a few days
Australian aboard the ship: huh, looks like the park near my house
Aussie: Righto mate, seems like a lovely place
The Floridian: "Hey! I think I see my house!"
Aussie: "This ain't Earth, you drongo!"
Floridian: "It's called a joke, you dork."
All four Terrans start laughing. The guy from India remarks that he's looking forward to meeting what looked like a giant cobra on the Drone Footage.
Alien to its captain: "Uh, I suggest we sent the Humans."
@@taitano12 the captain: agreed
@@taitano12 as an indian i will personally say fuck you, i'm afraid of snake..... the big cats tho, i would 100% pet that
I hate that I read each of these comments as the Sniper from TF2.
“This is T.S.S. Prometheus, welcome to Jackass”
fucking legendary
Okay, we got a crew stranded and 6 days left for them to fly back we need thirty, any ideas:
Human engeneer : what if we use a smaller relativity feeld in the ships relativity feeld to railgun a shuttle to there
That's ridiculos... And dangerous... And can probably rip the ship apart...
Human engeneer : I'll take that as a yes, come on we got stuff to prepare
@@wolfoffenris9951 *we are almost setup to give it a go, just give the word*
I don't know which one I like more. "Welcome to Jackass" or the intern killing a 3 meter tall predator with a transport board he turned into a splat trap.
Both
Serving number 9
@@jaimeosbourn3616 clean up in aisle 3
Achievement unlockd: Raise the Roof
I cackled when the damn _INTERN_ was cleaver enough to outsmart a damned predator with an over glorified trolly. 1 Ton moved at 8 meters on a standard gravity world? It’s elementary dear friends, I call it “Splat speed”.
Although, can it still work? Because if it has multi res that’s a damn permanent and useful item. I’d have also recommended to place a few firearms for the Lieutenant and the Intern on the “Human” list. Doesn’t hurt to have some “kill it with fire” kit for the listing.
God, that was fucking cool though. And the response for “Dragon” the pet was the same as a fun little quote. “They planted LANDMINES out there?! W-we walk our dogs out there...”-Seras Victoria, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged.
I suddenly remmember all those tower defense videogames like OCRS-MUST-DIE where a springboard is a legitimate way to defend your base from invaders,it's hillarious that it actually sound plausible now.It's a fccking lethal trampoline.
@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb the springboard doesn't need to kill them...
them meeting the ground again can though
@@theirishviking9278 **Wile E. Coyote noises**
@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb man I miss orcs must die unchained
I used to play it so much with friends
@@theirishviking9278 In this case they don't need to meet the ground they meet the ceiling and become Meat.
remember kids, telling a human they cant do something, no matter how impossible it may be, is a good way of getting it done.
i remember seeing a thing about how in dire situations to tell vocally announce how terrible the situation was, it was impossible to deal with, and how everyone was going to die and whatnot directly to the human on your crew for the Watch This protocol.
like shooting a hole in mars
except when you are trying to use that to motivate them. That is when the malicious compliance comes out
You can't do those chores!
“You’ll land that plane. And do you know why? Because I heard some guy say you couldn’t.”
( listens to the xenos describing the weather)Humans: oh so it's like texas nevada and florida all rolled into one? Gotcha i brought sun screen
*Laughs in human*
Sounds like new mexico tbh. Especially when a jaguar wanders up from Mexico.
As a person from Nevada hearing that weather I thought. "Just give me some water and a cave and I can sit in the heat for a good amount of time."
Honestly, the planet sounds like earth. Quite lovely.
@@lucielm admittedly, you could very easily succumb to heatstroke in 120 degree heat with the near 100% humidity, but as long as you drank a lot of water along with salt and electrolytes you should be fine.
"When someone says something can't be done, they usually mean that they can't do it, but maybe you can . . ."
-Human saying, usually uttered before they do something that, if anyone else had tried it, couldn't be done.
"you cannot get X item on the roof of the building without a crane"
5 rednecks and 3hrs later.. same boss
"did the crane truck show up yet?"
"no??? where are the items???"
"installed and working, the dead units can be removed when the crane gets here"
"how the hell did you... wait... never mind... i dont want to know"
well... when you just wana get a job done, and have a bunch of redneck geeks and a fucking welding/machine/etc shop worth fo stuff to work with... it wasnt easy but... the night crew had to help remove the old units off the roof with the crane operators help... he got stuck in traffic for amost 6hrs that day... poor sob... that thing was not a fun drive...
@@AshenTechDotCom soooooo stupid question but, if the old units are trash anyway, why not just push them off the roof and collect the pieces?
@@ryanpiercy3390 May fall on something valuable, such as someone's car/head/etc.
easy enough to evacuate such a small area@@ceu160193
Redneck - OSHA = success (what's a mild possibility of death or dismemberment)
So apparently this is a popular video and you guys want more! Unfortunately no more chapters have been written. However don't despair! If you want more series like this that are strong and long, I highly recommend 'Humans Don't Make Good Pets', 'Job For A Deathworlder' and 'Sexy Space Babes' to quench your thirst for more!
Cool, you should pin your comment to the top, I was just starting to scroll the comments to see if there was any more from this story as it looks like it is going to be a good one. Great videos too.
So did anyone get around to making more of this story ?.
I would also like to know. I want to see how the intern rig the solar batteries into grenades because Olgris said they'd be useless.
what about now?
@@bluedragon5676 there is a chapter three, but nothing more.
"You can't just kill something with a transport board"
*OBJECTIVE: KILL SOMETHING WITH A TRANSPORT BOARD*
Unlocked achievement: Raise the Roof.
*Me when i hear specs of the planet*: Florida planet? HECK YEA! PERFECT ENVIREMENT FOR HUMANS!
What if "AUSTRALIA" planet ?
@@onerxowns2202 i wonder how they'd react to the fact humans live on a class 3 death world
@@ShiroNekoDen
Group faint/panic ?
"Uh... Those specs describe Florida." The other Humans chuckle at that.
"What's a 'Florida'?" the Xeno asked.
"It's a popular vacation spot where our old ones - at least in America - go to retire to a life of leisure. The local Humans are... Strange, to say the least, but it's a wonderfully pleasant place to visit. In fact, a lot of our favorite relaxation spots match these specs for large portions of the year."
"V-vacation? Leisure?? RELAXATION SPOTS?!?" The Xeno sits down slowly.
"Yup... In fact, this valley we're in seems like a nice place for a campground or something. Maybe even a small town to go with it... To protect the campers from those things."
The Xeno just sits there for nearly an hour in stunned silence.
Right? I heard that and went "That's not lethal, that's my yard!"
When the Prometheus maneuver was explained all i could think was "Ere we go!"
They should have painted the shuttle red.
@@cnkclark Nah, paint it purple so nobody sees it coming :D
Mario…?
@@Morning_Dewdrop Warhammer 40k joke. One of the alien factions, the ork's, alter reality around them based on their own beliefs. The most comical one being "Red goes faster" "Yellow goes boom more" "Purple is stealth" "Blue is luck" "green is best" ect - all of these have/have had in game applications throughout the games history.
Alien: "How can you kill something with a cargo board?!"
human: "haha thrusters go brrrrr"
You guys may have noticed that I've narrated a lot of stories from r/HFY instead of 4chan this month. Many of these stories have further chapters. Are there any series you want me to continue narrating?
Yes please
Teenage Hellworlder quickly caught my interest. Love to see more.
I agree with jack angel
I’m mostly here for the HFY so I’m impartial.
Teenage hellworlder, and ik you haven't done it yet but I'd love to hear you read a classic like the Xiu Chang Saga
We humans tend to get so uncomfortable when nothing is trying to kill us - if it's not a deathworld, we'll probably waste away from boredom and depression.
When the main ship finally arrives, "We're here to save you!"
New Colonists flipping a dragon on the barbeque, "Eh? Wot? Hey, you want some sky gator?"
@dementededge3266whats its name
@dementededge3266I mean we love being alone in a rickety shack in a swamp surrounded by a million zombies. That's our idea of fun. We daydream about how to zombie proof our house. Humans evolved on permanent defense and we turned our weaknesses into strengths and we put our massive brain to body volume ratio to work.
Lesson 1 of human phycology
Alien: You can't kill with something with a [insert item here]
Human Response:
(A) Already done it before
(B) Watch me
(C) already doing it
(D) Doesn't do it because something
(E) CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
(F) Watch me do it again
Safety: off.
Weight: 1 tonne.
Lift: 8 meters.
Kitty: meow?
I got bored and ran the numbers. Kitty was hit with between 900 and 1,500 lb of acceleration... Roughly equal to a quarter pound of TNT. Yes Kitty died.
Hotel: Trivago.
Mind: blown
All over the ceiling along with the rest... Half the rest of that cat..... 😂@@crowgrabber_former_er5bb8yb2t
Aliens: look at this place! It's uninhabitable!
Humans: I wonder if any of the wildlife here would make good pets...
And that's the human response even if they are told they're about to be dropped on the planet with nothing but the clothes on their back. Meanwhile the aliens response is them being told they'll have to spend months without access to a shuttle or the main ship but plenty of supplies dropped off for them.
Human guide to alien wildlife:
If it love to be petted: It is a pet
If not: if it look cute and can be acomodated to domestic life: yes
If not: Is food
Another is it edible where is the bbq sauce?
@@jjw5165 *zuck sweet babyrays gif*
@@donanthebarbarian5177 First two questions a human has about the wildlife. How does it take to domsetication and how is it with Bar-B-que sauce?
Human ingenuity should never be underestimated
" You didn't answer! You literally telepathed the word "Hiss"!"
funniest shit ever.
I liked that. Can’t wait for pt 2.
Agreed :)
Here's to the 'Want Moar' crew!
Same!
@@PodreyJenkin138 :(
@@PodreyJenkin138 Unfortionally there doesn't appear to be enough source material at the moment, this video has read 2/3 of the stories the guy has put out here is a link to the 3rd one: www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/jvgfb3/stranded_on_a_deathworld_02_qualifications/
We’re stuck on a deserted island on a deserted planet in the middle of monsoon season! We’ve no weapons and few medical supplies! What are we gonna do when something shows up? Kill it with a hover transport?!
Achievement Unlocked: kill something with a hover transport
- "Tornados, monsoons and hail the size of human fist"
- "Yeah, sounds like Earth in some of her fouler moods"
Sounds like upside down part of earth
Sounds like the tropical side of 'snow' but instead of soft ice, Hard Ice with Typhoons driven to wreck roofs but still treat it as extra angry weather.
It is uncommon here in SEA, but sure does we'll record the hell out of that strange weather.
You just described last Feb, and the December 2 years before it.
Sounds like the stretch of inhabited land from the tip of India to the north of Japan.
Ah, west Texas. Just like home.
This needs to have a 2nd part
Its an entire series. (I think)
Where can I find it, does it have a playlist?
@@faithhellman402seconded
@@17mindgate its on reddit, and no it doesnt have playlist. atleast, not on yt.
“You can’t kill something with a transport board”
ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME!?
I'm nervously waiting for two specific human traits to be addressed. Xenophobia...and xenophelia.
You mean Xenophilia. Which translates to: Has affinity for Xenos. Where Xenophobia translates to: Does not have Affinity for Xenos.
@@galenjones9529 Yeah yeah. I think both of those would get us in all kinds of trouble out there.
It's called hate fucking
@@galenjones9529
Phobia is an unreasonable fear.
And Philia is an attraction. 👀 👀 👀
Olgris: You can’t kill something with a transport board
Nick: .....
Nick: And I took exception to that!
Davis: "Question... if it creams anything that comes close all over the ceiling, how are you going to disarm it when we need to leave?"
Nick: "Ah. Hah... ah, fuck."
It only does that to "unregistered species". Humans have used it, so they're a registered species.
@@dairoleon2682 so your gonna get yeeted up at a lower,but still painful level.
The answer is, quite simply, flip it over and turn it off. Wasn't it set to go off if an unregistered species touched it?
All I was thinking was to kick over
Or just turn the safety back on
"This is T.S.S. Prometheus and welcome to Jackass." Gave me the biggest grin while giggling and clapping. Fucking love that.
Alien: "This can't be done!"
Human: "And I took that personally."
I knew Steve-O could make something truly impressive of himself, but I didn't expect Space Engineer.
Ah yes, the power of ***KLANG***
"This is T.S.S. Prometheus, welcome to Jackass." glad to know we aren't gonna change
Aliens: It's a deathworld. We're all doomed.
Humans: Hold my beer, I'll be back with some barbeque ribs.
"You can't kill something with a transport board!"
Are you challenging me?
Achievement unlocked: Raise the Roof
The Prometheus engineer: "Gonna be a good day! Gonna send it!"
YEET!
LMAO! I DON'T THINK THE CREW REALIZES THAT WE COME FROM A CLASS TWELVE WORLD, AKA A CLASS 3 DEATHWORLD!
Omega class in one of the better described systems I've seen.
'We'll figure shit out. It'll be Fiiiine.'
'again with the Making. we have no engieners.'
'ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME MORTAL?'
"Hiss" (This is fun, I want more)
This sounds so much like a DND campain I would love to play
Sounds like a scenario from an old TSR sci-if game.
@@nvfury13 do remember the name of it? beacose i've never heard of such a thing
@@pawemarzec5764 There were scenarios for both the original Gamma World and Traveler like this.
Definitely want more, I will say with pride when it was said what he used for the trap I guessed how it worked even before it was explained. Which is why when I play rpgs I give people head aches with my insanity.
I swear to god, you hand a human a handful of grass, a feather, and four acorns and tell them they cannot find a way to kill something with them, they will manage it out of pure spite.
a feather and acorns are too easy. grass is hard though
@@gewuerzwanze5627 if you know what your doing you can weave grass into rope which you could use for snares or as a garoat
@@fletcherclausen4349 or you can just make someone choke on it
@@fletcherclausen4349 or a noose if you got enough
With some leftovers for extra. More is always better.
You practically always release these the second I leave work, best part of my day
I hope theres more of this story. This is awsome.
"You can't kill anything with a transport board"
Intern: "hold my beer"
"I call this maneuver 'Xeno-Yeet'!"
Love this story, have listened to it several times.
Always feels like it should have a follow on segment to further cover the activities of the stranded til the time of their eventual rescue.
Other species: The missing crew are all going to die!
Humans: Lucky bastards get a 6 month vacation.
“You can’t kill something with a transport board”
Human: "hold my beer"
Terraforming: the process of turning an unhabitable planet into atleast a class 3 deathworld.
Yes, more Deathworlders stories please.
Definitely looking forward to more of this as it gets written.
So they got stranded in space Florida, they'll be fine as long as that planet doesn't have space mosquitos.
I loved it when he killed a three meters predator with the "transport board"! 🤣 I have got to know what happens next!
What would you even call that?
The 'YEET' pad?
Splat-speed landmine
The trampolMine
the OTHER bouncing betty.
Roof-pizza maker
@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb a springboard
@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb "effective"
@@someguy3861 See?YOU get it.
@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb a splatter board obviously
At that moment, The GA learned the Human term "hold my Beer"
This is a good use of Chekhov's gun. The simple explanation of the transport board's principle of operation is ignored for a good while and then becomes the punchline.
we don't need engineers... we have an intern for that xD
I REALLY hope that there is more of this series
Hey, don't underestimate a species that's native to a deathworld. One must also carefully consider that different areas on even a deathworld might be more deadly than other areas. Consider how real-life modern Australians tend to either light-heartedly brag a bit about how everything there tries to kill people, or they'll try to downplay it so that such "rumors" don't mess up their tourism market.
😄
It's amazing what our species can adapt to and consider "normal" after sufficient exposure. To someone from Florida, hurricanes and gators are just another Tuesday. Ask a Canadian or Alaskan why they're not freaking out about 2 meters of snow or a moose in the freaking backyard and they'll just shrug. Aussies are the same way; lethal jellyfish in the water? Their surfers just put on wetsuits or hell, even pantyhose (top and bottom!) to block the stingers. Magpies swooping at you? "Oh, right; nesting season. Forgot about that; sorry."
If it doesn't kill or maim us, we just start to normalize it.
It's no wonder aliens would think we're all insane; we kind of are~
@@alexisgrunden1556 I think it has to do with human innovation & invention of technologies...It's allowed us to adapt & survive changing conditions over time. Evolution is slow for adaption but technology allows fast adaptation.
@@MidnightDStroyer Nope; just take a look at people who came from abusive homes, or lived with a malignant narcissist, or have only ever had horrible relationships. They're not used to being treated well, because to them, it's not 'normal'; their normal is our awful.
We adapt and get used to some truly terrible sh*t to survive..
@@alexisgrunden1556 During WW2, people got used to being bombed...
"you can't kill something with a transport board!"
Human: "fuck you watch me"
Also human: *kills something with a transport board*
"Welcome to jackass" truly the greatest definition of doing something incredible and incredibly stupid lmao
They should have included 20-30 arrowheads, a bush knife, a hand axe, and 1000' of para cord. A waterproof tarp would have been a nice touch.
more, please more, a good start like this deserves a longer story. and I’m hungry for a good story. Feed me, Seymour.
Yeah I think I'm going to like this series. Thank you for finding it
That kitty got hit by around 32KJ of kinetic energy... If the travel time was 1 second.
That's like 2 rounds of .50BMG at the muzzle...
They're trapped in a desthworld!
Humans: They need s Swiss army knife. Also some seeds and a holopad would be good.
Rey: is that possible Han: I only ask that after Ive done it
One of the smartest things ever said. Don't tell us it's impossible. Just let us get on with doing it. We may not have any idea WHY it worked, but we will figure out how to make it work.
Oh man this sounds like its gonna be a good one, thanks for uploading it
Engineer Knocksville, what are you doing in the storage bay?
The ending of that one had me in histerics XD
This is a story which really deserves an ending. Pray, please continue at your convenience.
Also, thank you. I really enjoyed that.
So basically the transport board is one gravity pulse cannon if it is set right. And none even needed to physically change it, except for turning it upside down. I have seen the Chekov's gun but I didn't understood it until then.
I enjoy all of NetNarrator videos
I honestly hope there is more from this series
_"What the fuck, Nick?"_
Perfectly delivered line.
This needs a part two. How long did you say it would take for a fleet to arrive? So much time. So many stories. So many things to go splat.
I mean, that is certainly the best way to make an impassable entrance that I have ever heard of XD
I'm looking forward to more of this one.
I love HFY and I absolutely adore the fact that I found somebody else who narrates them
"The humans are standed on a deathworld"
"What class"
"2"
"By the time we pick them up they will have made a vacation cabin with plumbing and be sitting on their padio sipping drinks with little umbrellas, their only concern being how to pass time"
"I don't understand"
"Their homeworld is a class 8 deathworld, class 2 is more relaxing than the most peaceful and controlled vacation and relaxation locations"
Third day of requesting for "First contact by Ralts Bloodthorne"
Someone else is already narrating that on RUclips.
5months later, still waiting for part 2!
Oh how i wish that there's a part 2 of this story... i want to hear the reaction of the human to his message.
Loved this
god i wish some of these stories had a novel version
FATE - So I have now stranded you on a place with near-no-supplies, the absolute barest of essentials needed to live, and a "super predator" - How quickly can you adapt to survive? Time now. Go!"
Hoo-mon - "Open season! YEE-HAW!!!!!!!"
no bag limit
Damn, is there a complete version of this one somewhere? I really liked it.
"You can't kill something with a transport board!"
"Don't freaking test me!"
Peak humanity right there
We need a part two to this.