UPDATE Fiancée Refuses To Have Dandelions In Our Wedding To Honor My Dying Mom, Now I Know Why~ AITA
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- #AITA #Relationships #Family
Story 1:
AITA for wanting my fiancé to have dandelion in her wedding bouquet
Story 2:
AITA for wanting to pay down my house instead of spend on a vacation for my boyfriend and I when I got a major pay bump?
Story 3:
AITA for calling my girlfriend disgusting and telling her she should be ashamed when she was crying?
Story 4:
AITA for not letting my brothers gf sit with us at my wedding?
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Story 1: UPDATE 2:48
Story 2: 3:33
Story 3: 8:37
Story 4: 12:22
Story 1- Girl sounds like she'd deem 'you weren't spending enough time with me and I felt neglected' as a valid excuse to cheat. Imagine actually telling your SO you hate their dying mother that they're close to. The actual f.
S1: OP needs to dump this PoS. His mother is dying and all the fiance can think of is how she hates her. Unless his mother is awful, fiance is a terrible person and needs to be left alone.
I hate dandelions, in fact I don't like the colour yellow, but if this is the only request my SO made, I'd get purple flowers and put those sticky yellow weeds in between the beautiful flowers in a heartbeat, heck I might even get big sunflowers as decor as well
@@annak8755
You still are missing the point, and are acting like you should be petty about the single request to honor his mother who is actively dying.
@@Splatoon_Kirby I took the mother out of the equation because the bride clearly hates her, so I wrote that if someone I respect enough for me to marry asked me to carry the flowers I hate, I'd do it. I don't know what your reading comprehension level is, but I clearly stated I hate yellow but if I was asked I'd even put freaking sunflowers. That's not petty it's listening to the opinions of your SO and compromising no matter how much you hate something.
Edited to add: in case some people confuse hair with flowers, small yellow flowers stand out when arranged among big purple or blue. To hide small yellow flowers put them among white flowers.
@@annak8755 Your writing comprehension needs work. You changed the subject away from the point of the original comment without pointing out that "compromising with your partner" is the more important matter... until your second comment. By not having it in the first comment, the abrupt change of topic came off as dismissive. Not surprised you got a little push back there.
Gotta love how her only reason for hating the mum is because she's getting more attention from op...because she's DYING! SHE feels neglected? I'd bet op feels neglected losing his mum with a jealous petty SO that's offering no help and is basically waiting for mum to die so op can focus only on her...bet she'll be telling him to get over it the day after she passes and plays the neglect card again when he's busy dealing with his grief. Hope to god op runs and doesn't look back, even if mum was a b op loves her and needs support.
Wow, what kind of mother thinks her own daughter is a loser just for having interest that does not suit her mother? I feel bad for the daughter. And what the hell is wrong with a teenager liking anime as opposed to cheerleading and other sports?
That girl's going to have it bad with a mother like that.
"I don't know where to go from here." The only way is out. Not only she was jealous at OP's dying mom, it's clear she has no empathy whatsoever. felt so many wrong things happening just by this post. OP should walk away from all that
Wow, how can someone be so psychopath as to get jealous and feel neglected because her fiance was spending time with his DYING MOTHER??
He should better call off the wedding and break up with her.
NTA but he doesn’t know where to go from here? He should be going out the door permanently.
Hoo boy. Their mother is dying, and the fiance can only see her as competition? Yikes!
Story 1: Honestly, I don't understand people like OP... Your fiancée clearly doesn't care about your feelings or your dying mother and you're confused as to what to do next?! This woman is showing you who she is right now. A cancelled wedding is cheaper than a guaranteed future divorce dude...😒
#1 op should have a coat made that has dandelions printed on the fabric, and have the flower girls throw dandelions ...
Story 1: NTA but he shouldn’t force her to wear a flower she doesn’t want to wear
S2 - BF turned into a gold digger. If you believe the position is not long term then the smart thing is to pay off your house and put it into retirement accounts. OP should tell BF if he wants hotels, he can pay for hotels or for the rest of a paying vacation if he doesn’t want to do “free” activities.
Be prepared for the future which is what your boyfriend's not doing is going to bite him in the butt. What's going to happen if his company closes. The smartest thing to do would be to pay off the mortgage. And help you get upgrades on the house. Maybe put him on as a 25 or 30% or even 40% owner of the house. Because it's easier to come up with the taxes on a house then it will be a mortgage and taxes.
Agree and how many stories have we heard about people that makes a lot of money then something happens and they has to downsize and they can’t
Op in the first story needs to dump his SO. Cause unless op is heavy in the fog and thus they are sugar coating their mother. It sounds like ops future wife is a terrible witch who is trying to isolate op from their family.
So .. bride is jealous of terminally ill mom spending too much time with the groom… and he doesn’t know what to do??
1: heed Elasti-Girls words, "ABORT ABORT ABORT"!! 3: U still with this c-word!?!? Good on ya!! 4: Good job c-word!!
Dandelions may be weeds but they're still beautiful. It's really not a huge deal to have them. This fiance sounds icky
1st story. Call off that wedding op.
Story: OK...you don't want to be reminded of my mum? Fine. I, her son, won't be reminding you then because the wedding is off.
Jeezzzz...why are people willing to marry people who treat them, and their loved-ones, like cr*p? Is being married such an elevated status that you are willing to loose your self-respect over it?
Talk about showing off your true colors
edit: story 1 boyfriend
I love dandelions especially when they are all over the law.
What is a staged candid shot
you dump her! that is your mother the woman that gave you life and raised you kept you safe and happy........wtf..
2nd... Time to dump that Ahole bf...go live ur life op
"I don't know where to go from here."
This is where you end the relationship. You were spending time with your *dying* mother-that is not a vacation. And she felt neglected over that? Why wasn't she there with you for the visits? Have she gone and visit your mother herself? This is the making of a very selfish person.
My response to "I don't where to go from here" was: no down the isle!!
100% agree .
I know where to go, run and dump her ... like today .
She dont understand you want to spend time with your diying mother ? And dont want à flower yo remenber her ?
She dont have a heart man, run
She sounds like a narcissist if it’s not about her it annoys her
The fiancee feels neglected because of OP spending so much time with his dying mother which is valid. The fiancee is also an adult and needs to take her feelings to a therapist to sort them out because this is just a glimpse of what married life is as a couple. There will be times that pop up in life that your partner/spouse is focused on someone else for very logical and valid reasons such as a dying parent. If she can't handle this, OP being at a low point right now then she damn well doesn't deserve him at his best. It would suck to lose his mom and fiancee in the same year but it would be a disaster for him to marry this woman in the long run.
The OP's fiancee is a jealous harpy.
Story 1. If his fiancee is jealous of OP spending time with his DYING mom and pretty much hate her for that i would say OP saw her TRUE colors just before the wedding. If i was him i would walk away and dodging a huge bullet. Major red flag here.
💯% this. How horrible of a person do you have to be to get jealous of your fiance spending time with his DYING mother?!!! Dump this vile creature. Even if his mother was a terrible person, you don't treat someone you love like that. You suck it up and support them. You try to compromise. If you can't, your marriage is doomed.
@ TheSander O; Op is Not dodging a Bullet, He's DODGING a Nuclear WarHead. His Mother is dying and SHE'S A COLD HEARTLESS WITCH. Drop Her Op and SPEND ALL YOUR TIME being With Your Mother, before She's Gone.
Yeah what about if/when they have kids and they require he spend less time and focus on her? What if his career temporarily requires him to step up and put in some extra hours? What if another close family member or friend dies after the marriage? This is going to be a problem through the rest of their relationship if something as little as including a flower for sentimental reasons is too much of an ask. What about spending time with friends or hobbies to maintain healthy relationships and mental health?
Me: *Reads title carefully*
Me: Please don't tell me fiancee is resentful that her MIL is 'stealing her thunder.'
After Update: It's even worse!
"Why are you spending all of this time with your dying Mother and not MEEEEEEEE!"
Personally, I'd yeet her!
Story 1 and 2: in the wise words of Gandalf the Grey, "RUN YOU FOOLS!"
Fly, you fools
@@nannettepolcastro4799 Yes!
I love this comment ❤️
Story 4, gf could have waited a few minutes. She doesn't feel welcome...well, you're definitely not welcomed after this. Congratulations, you played yourself
Wedding pic. Nta. It is normal to have only wedding party photos. So please stop acting like the bride is being abnormal
Story 2: OP'S boyfriend is a golddigger! Plain and Simple!!
I do wonder if the roles were reversed, if the NTA commenters would say the same thing.
@@diarradunlap9337 yes they would
@@duckeh1952 there would be a few slapnuts who would definitely try to counter-argue
@@diarradunlap9337I was thinking the same thing!!
3:32 : "I don't know where to go from here." Better not be down the aisle that's for damn sure
😂
#1 nta. An her attitude is unacceptable. Op should think how his life is going to be with someone that believes only her feelings are worthy.
Update: So just because she doesn't like op mother his motives are no longer valid? No and this shows even a worst side of the bride.
2nd story: NTA, and it's very entitled of HIM to tell her how to spend HER money. I would spend the money on the house and retirement. If boyfriend doesn't like her "cheap" ways, he can hit the road and find some other spendthrift to be with.
"I don't know where to go from here."
You have 2 options.
1: You walk out the door and don't look back.
2: You kick her butt out the door and tell her not to come back.
Choose one
Reddit, for whatever reason, deleted Story 1 and left a message for OP saying he can’t repost of give updates without mod approval. What, did the fiancée find the post and report him? Regardless, I hope he dumps her. Who in their right mind gets jealous of their SO spending time with their _dying mother?!_ This reminds me of WS’s who cheat on their SO’s when their SO loses a loved one and they feel “neglected” because their SO is grieving.
Wait, hold up! For real?!?! Reddit took down the post?! What the hell?!
It was DEFINITELY the fiancee! She must've found the posy! I guess she put 2 and 2 together and realized the post was about HER! Now she's trying to pull some damage control! She is TRASH!!!
OMG, that was my first thought too! A few years down the line and he catches her in bed with someone else, she would be the type to use the "neglected" excuse. Also if she's that jealous and insecure of a dying woman who is his mother, what is she going to do if OP has any female
co-workers? Demand he quit his job? Not speak to them? OP needs to run, RUN FAST
Good job reddit. It's not slander if the subjects of the posts are anonymous. 😒
I hate mods 😠
So OP mother is dying so he spending as much time as possible with his mum before she passes and his Fiancee is jealous of this and also doesn't want to honour his mum at their wedding with something so simple as a flower. Wow! run bro seriously RUN
Story 1, my husband had terminal cancer. And until he got really bad, he had no problem with me going and spending time with my elderly father.
Hubby finally got so bad that, unless I had someone to stay with him, I wasn't leaving the house. And I was only leaving for necessary things and getting back as quickly as I could.
Lost hubby, then lost Dad 7.5 months later.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but based on your comment you can be safe in the knowledge that you were both a wonderful wife and daughter.
Keep being a great person.
@@goawayleavemealone2880 thanks. I'm still adjusting to being alone.
So sad. I'm sorry for your losses
I’m so very sorry for your loss. That is heartbreaking!
Sorry for your losses. I hope that you have a good support system and are getting grief counseling. You are a good wife and daughter. Please keep being your wonderful self. I wish you all the happiness in your future, with the fondest memories of your husband and father. May they rest in Eternal Glory in Peace. 💐🙏🏻🕊🥰
In today’s episode of “Words have Actual Meanings, and That Ain’t It” we have a person calling a person that recycles lumber and windows to build their own gazebo “entitled”.
💯👍
LOL. I do no think it means what he thinks it means. Lol.
I rolled my eyes so hard at that I almost broke a blood vessel lol
OP planned and paid for a formal party and wanted pics with the bridal party only - the girlfriend is not a part of that party. That's the norm. I told my own cousin not to bring some random to my wedding, but he did. To this day, I don't even know the woman's name. She's in quite a few of my main shots.
Honestly if they stay together the brother shouldn't be surprised when his other sister make it clear his girlfriend isn't invited.
" I don't know where to go from here " lmao you dump her. this is what people warn others about and they don't listen. once you get married, in 5 or so years he will be able to see why Reddit told him not to marry her, with the title " should have listened to Reddit ".
Yep, she is jealous of the dying mother. Leave and never look back.
She sounds like a narcissist that needs to be the centre of attention all the time
Yeah, under r/relationships: "My wife cheated on me with the Dallas Cowboys because she felt neglected. What should I do?"
Last story: I’m going to say NTA based on personal experience. These were formal pictures and the gf was not in the wedding party. The bride said gf could join after the formal pictures, which was kind. I had a similar situation years ago where I attended the baptism of a boyfriend’s niece. He wanted me to join in the family photos (we’d only been dating a few months) immediately following her baptism. I respectfully declined because I felt it would be intruding since I wasn’t an official member of the family. We broke up about 3 months later and I’m sure his family is relieved to not have one of his exes in those pictures.
@Wei Luo a sharpie could fix that, is that Groucho Marx at your ....
Story 1
Who's paying for the Wedding? Because if I'm paying a part of it (if not all of it), oh I definitely getting a say whats going to be in MY wedding...
Also How Selfish and a POS do you have to be to basically be jealous of someone dying mother...
S3: the mom peaked in highschool and is now making it everyone else's problem.
Tell me you peaked in high school without telling me you peaked in high school.
@@vanzy01 she reeks of middle aged mom who buys alcohol for her kids and their friends so she can be cool.
I wonder if she bullied the dweebs in high school.
Chad Thundercock peaked in high school moment
This, for real!
Story 1: Dandelions were actually introduced to the Americas because European colonists used them in salads. If OP were to ever have a dandelion wedding, he could serve dandelion salad before the main course at the reception.
S1 - At the bare minimum OP needs to call off the wedding so they can re-evaluate their relationship. Like others here have commented, unless she was a secret monster-in-law, I don't see why she should be so jealous of his DYING mother!
Though, I do find it interesting that she didn't reassure him when he asked if it was his wedding too and just stayed silent.
Yeah, that was a parade of CCP flags all on its own...
I don’t like my MIL either but if I were in the same scenario as story 1 I would do it because I love my husband.
Story 4: NTA. I was MoH at my bestie's wedding and my kid was sitting with family and the other flower girls for the beginning of the reception and the meal because the head table was only big enough for the wedding party. As soon as more formal pictures were done we pulled up some chairs and she sat with me the rest of the night. It would've been impossible otherwise with how small the venue was.
Story 1- I was leaning ESH until the update. NTA. You break up, that's what you do from there OP. She doesn't like the mom because OP is spending time with his dying mother and she doesn't want to think about her at her wedding? Does she realize OP WILL be thinking of his mom at the wedding?
First story: don’t marry her! That’s disgusting knowing full well the poor man’s mother is dying and to not even understand and work on a compromise. Her bouquet I kinda get but to not compromise on tables and definitely his boutonniere sends up soooo many red flags in the future. Omg and the update made it so much worse!! I don’t care how much she “doesn’t like my mother” THE WOMAN IS DYING and it’s his mother! She’s gross that dude should RUN! And honestly now that I think on it WHO ARE HER FRIENDS?! Who are this bridezillas friends that find out she won’t do this and not be like ummm girl what is wrong with you?
S3....this hit hard because I'm same type of person I'm 27 and still the same person my parents never said shit about it but they never tried to understand me they only really know the surface I thank op because he sounds like someone who actually tried to learn
I would have been honored to include such a floral request in my wedding. I would have made it a feature for my husband.
I am working on the outfits for the wedding between me and my current fiance. And because it's all 18th century themed, I made him tell me his favorite flowers so I can put them into his embroidery design. If he came to me and asked for a different flower embroidered I'd do that. And it's not even that it's his mom's flower, but also that's the couple's wedding day. It's for both people to contribute ideas and suggestions to.
So let me get this straight? The fiance is mad cause the dying mother is taking away attention from her? And she refuses to compromise even though it's also OP's wedding?
S1, she only think about herself. OP's mom is DYING and she "Why are you not paying attention to me!" Boo Hoo!
S2, he want a sugar mommy more than GF.
Second OP's actually making smart financial decisions. She has a good head on her shoulders and she's right about the high risk, high reward as well as the money won't always be there. Right now she's putting stability but that didn't mean she wasn't enjoying her life, she just happens to like all these things some people find 'cheap' and that's okay. If she likes camping and going on a road trip, she should still go and definitely leave the boyfriend permanently in her rearview mirror.
Really man, a fully paid house would be a blessing if the worse were to happen.
Daughter in story 3 sounds somewhat like me 😂 anime interest, black shirts with anime images (wearing one now) and I do my own thing. I also love history and is rewatching Cosmos again
Tell your boyfriend he won't stay at a hotel overnight find he pays for the hotel. Look them straight in the eye and say I'm your girlfriend not your ATM. Your way is one way my way is another since it's my money I'm doing it my way. Look you can't tell me how to spend my money I'm the one working and earning it I decided how it's been. And then when I'm 9 years old and still live in comfortable with money, it will all be because I am responsible money. If you can't understand that I'm sorry but that's how it's going to be. This is psych person if you marry you'll never have any money in the account.
Dandelions would be really popular if they were hard to grow ,they are pretty and useful. Not liking Mom ,who is dying, would be a deal breaker for me.
Agree and this is first time Op saw a red flag
S2: OP is wifey material. Smart, forward thinking, and down to earth. Rare kind of women in today dating market.
S3: Dude, the red flags are there, don't advert your eyes
"I don't know we're to go from here." I assume you mean I don't know where to go from here, and yes you do. Turn around, walk away and keep walking. No, make that keep running. She is showing you who she really is, believe her. If you marry her, you will be cheated on, with some lame excuse of being neglected. Get out now while there is a chance, and comfort your mother until her time comes. Then find a woman who isn't a narcissist that only sees you as a prop in her play.
Story 1: Frankly, I don’t think that I’d want to marry someone who had such a strong dislike for dandelions, one of the prettiest so called “weeds” that you can come across🙁
Story 2: OP’s boyfriend sounds like a leech and a financially irresponsible person. Seems like he wants OP to spend her money making him happy when it comes to this vacation. So, he wants to go camping with OP, but doesn’t want to sleep on the ground, but expects OP to foot the bill for the nightly hotel bills, not even offering to split the bill. Then he mocks her for wanting to pay off her house as quickly as possible and save for her future. If I were OP, I’d end this relationship and find someone who valued me more🙁
Story 3: OP’s partner needs to count her blessings when it comes to her daughter. Actually I’m amazed that the daughter turned out so well given the awful mother that she has😠
Story 4: And OP wonders why her brother’s girlfriend hasn’t warmed up to her yet🤔
P
1st story, if your fiancé can't understand basic human compassion, she isn't someone worth marrying. Hold off the wedding until she either realizes she's a monster or just cancel it and find someone actually kind and decent. I can't imagine hating my SO's parents because he was spending time with them before they fucking died.
Story 3, NTA for being a decent person and accepting the kid for who she is. Liking anime and nerdy stuff is awesome! Liking cheerleaders and sports is also awesome! Any kid taking interest in something safe and doing decent in school is awesome! The mom obviously peaked in high-school and wanted to relive vicariously through the daughter. Crappy mom and you're a decent dude for standing up to her for her daughter's sake.
“She feels neglected and doesn’t want to be reminded of my mother on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of her life”
UMMMMM WHAT DID I EVEN READ!!!?!?
Your mom is dying and she’s angry and bitter that your spending more time with your dying mom?
dude… life sometimes gives us signs of mistakes… this is one of them
DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN!
Story 1. The way to go is single. Why tye yourself to such a PoS. If possible I'd wait until my mother passed, if before the wedding, and then I'd go supernova in dumping her and vilifying both her and her moh for the aholes they are. The ideal would be to wait until the start of the ceremony to announce what happened, the disrespect and cruelty of those women and why the relationship and wedding were irreversibly dismissed. While this was happening, I'd have friends placing dandelions everywhere outside :) if I were feeling particularly vindictive, I'd send a bunch of dandelions to the ex on the anniversary of both my mum's death and the aborted wedding for the next few years and occasionally every few years afterwards :)
Story 1: now that he knows that his soon to be wife doesn’t want dandelions just to honor his dying mother because he was spending a lot of time caring for his DYING MOTHER, I hope he called off the wedding
Story 2: she can always get a new boyfriend. She would definitely be the asshole if she DOES NOT BREAK UP WITH HIM.
Story 3: I was expecting OP to be an AH, but I’m glad to see that he called his gf out for being a shallow bully to her own child.
Story 4: NTA for the picture thing. Knowing that op didn’t single out brother’s girlfriend, there was no reason why they couldn’t wait for a few minutes until the wedding party photos were done.
Wow, NTAs all the way through. That's consistent.
Story 1: dump her. really.. if there is no serious rift between them, she is massive ah and marrying her will have op regret he did not do anything for his mom before dying. how self centred person she is she is jealous of a dying person?
Wow, that boyfriend in the second story is projecting like crazy, everything he accuses OP of doing is what he is actually doing. I hope by the end of the story he is an ex BF. OP is NTA.
Story 2 nta. This is very smart and you can retire way earlier if you play the financial game the way you currently are.
Story 1: NTA time to call off the wedding , what I don't get with some of these bridezilllas is they're acting as if the husband to be shouldn't have a say in how things go , it really makes me wonder if they're marrying themselves
Well most of these girls have been planning their perfect princess party (wedding) since they were 10 years old. They want to be a bride, not a wife. Its all about the perfect venue, perfect dress, etc. The groom is just another prop in the play, often only chosen because they either fit the aesthetic she was going for, or because he was the one willing to propose on time for the party to be on the perfect date.
Story 2. I read a long time ago that men feel that money is to be used for advancement as a tool, while women feel that money represents safety, and they tend to be savers. Seems like the husbands and BFs on reddit always want to spend money their wives and GFs make, and keep tight hold on their own money.
Story 1: I was leaning on a NAH verdict, since it sounds like OP may have forgotten to mention why he wanted it, but after getting context and update, NTA. OP, just how long have you exactly been with this woman, cause for her to blurt out she does not like your mother when she was dying and will no longer be in her life afterwards is a massive red flag, one that should have been picked up when you were dating. Best to get an annulment if you can, cause she sounds like a control freak, or has some psychological issues that may affect you down the line.
Story 2: NTA, and OP, take this opportunity to break up with this douchebag. Finances is an easy way to gauge if someone is compatible, and it looks like this STBXBF is not compatible. Calling you selfish and entitled cause you refuse to spend money on him sounds like major projection on his part, and probably jealousy if OP is earning more money than him (a lot of macho types cannot stand their spouses or girlfriends earning more, from my experience). Ask yourself if this is the man you really want to commit to, cause he literally just showed his true colors.
Story 3: NTA. Major projection issues here from this STBXGF. Seriously, if I was in my schooling years and I met this daughter, I would cherish the friendship (fellow geek and anime fan here, even in my 30s). OP, the best thing you can do is to provide support for this young lady even after you call it quits, cause it sounds like your STBXGF would eventually lash out at her simply for not being a "mini her". This is a major red flag.
Story 4: NTA simply based on OP's perspective. I kind of feel like this is not the complete story, cause the brother's GF sounds like a drama queen in the making. Look, I know weddings can bring out the worst in people, but OP sounds rather subdued for someone on his big day. Obviously, not expecting some big blow up or anything, but common courtesy for attending a wedding is to not cause drama, which this woman clearly has done by making things difficult for OP. My advice for OP: watch your brother. If he gets enthralled by this woman, get ready to go low contact, cause again, this woman sounds like someone who thrives off stirring up drama.
I don't get why dandelion get such a bad rep. they have health benefit and are important to the bee ecosystems. Dandelions are more than just "weeds".
For the OP in story 3, my dad used to be a preppy jock when he was younger and I ended up being a dorky punker lol
OP knows what he should do, and it isn't to marry someone who is jealous of his dying mother. Dandelions are the Lions of flowers. Beautiful, hardy, resilient, and difficult to kill. Whereas other flowers wilt quickly and have to be pampered to survive. Also every part of the Dandelion plant can be consumed, and are quite delicious.
I'm not sure if it contains actual Dandelions, but I do love Dandelion and Burdock.
Makes for a very delicious tea!
Story 1: cancel the wedding. She is vile!
Story 2: boot out the boyfriend. He wants to spend your money. Gold-digger is mirroring when he goes on about 'me, me, me'.
Story 3: Mom wants to relive her life through her daughter. That is sick!
Story 4: I think I know why the gf does not like OP. Clash of cultures?
2 - Your money, your call, but NTA. Your boyfriend sounds like an ass. He's not entitled to your money, and he only expects YOU to compromise for what HE wants, it's a red flag.
3 - NTA. Your GF is. It's disgusting for her to think of her daughter this way. She sounds like a wonderful kid. She's living the dream so many parents wish they could be. High school popularity means nothing, especially once you leave it.
Wait a minute…. So your fiancé hates your mom because you are spending time with her due to her declining health? Has the fiancé made effort into going to see her future mil? Does not sound like it. She gave a surprised look from hearing moh made a call. Yeah, she ranted to the moh about some of the situation. I can bet my bank account never once a getting a mention is the mother and her declining health.
I remember 1 of my friends was engaged. Few months before the wedding date, my friend helped his mom to the hospital, she was having a surgery on her left leg.
He was going to see her every day. Fiancé knew but never went to visit her future mil in hospital. His family took notice. Immediately. Nobody on her side seemed to care. But eventually fiancé left a note saying how they can’t get married due to him cheating. Provided photos of him entering the hospital and even the room his mom was in. Nasty voicemails from the parents and sister of the fiancé. My friend was crushed. He didn’t cheat. The best friend of the fiancé left him a voicemail saying she took the photos and followed him. Proving he’s a cheating asshole. Even went as far to say he is giving everyone a big lie about his mom having surgery.
All my friend did was text HER back saying:
Did you forget my mom and you are Facebook friends? Why don’t you go to my mom’s Facebook page. Take a long look at the photos she’s been posting of herself in the hospital and giving updates on her recovery daily.
Moh replied: don’t lie ! I know your mom isn’t having surgery and I don’t need to have to look at a stupid Facebook page to know you are a cheater.
My friend: I’m with my mom now, I will have her post a photo of herself and tag you in it… with screenshots of this.
3 hours later
Moh: uh … well…
My friend: what do YOU want? If you have anything important to say, say it. If not, go away. Remember, you don’t need proof of a stupid Facebook page. Remember?
She then tried calling my friend multiple times and he ignored them.
His ex fiancé tried calling when moh stopped. She texted how she’s sorry.
My friend: explain to moh that my mom doesn’t have a stupid Facebook page. And that she’s having surgery and recovering. Explain how you never once came to visit. Before you digest this, my mom has sent screenshots of you and your “ amazing friend “ to some of your family seeing as how none of them have cared how she’s doing. Oh and maybe you forgot my mom is your parents boss? Remind them that little tiny piece of information…
She tried to call again..
her parents attempted to come in to visit saying to a woman at the front desk that their boss is in 1 of the rooms and need to visit her..
even though the receptionist was already told don’t let them know which room because of everything that happened.
Receptionist called and asked his mom if she should allow them to see her, my friend’s mom said no and it’s months too late to suddenly care knowing she’s in there for surgery but forgot and then claim her son is sleeping with her only to find out they’re all wrong so now we pretend to care to save ourselves…
Parents left defeated.
My friend is married to a great girl from a middle eastern country. His ex fiancé is single. Still … her parents can’t look me or my friend in the eyes since. Also really gave a talking to with the moh and their daughter. My friend’s mom unfortunately sees them at their job every day and always greets them with this:
Good morning, oh and my son is still my son. I love him but not in a way to have that kind of love with him. We are still related.
They have apologized for everything but the damage was done so….
Last Story - Am I the only one who thinks OP was a little bit AH for not just saying, "Hang on a few minutes, these are still just the wedding party'?
S1: Wow 😡! In the update, the fiancée sounds selfish with that attitude
Story 1: She ain't the one guy. Up to OP if he has sense enough to sidestep that bullet.
Wow is the bride to be inmature and selfish! Yes a wedding is a day of celebration and could be one of the happiest of a persons life, but when there's parents or love ones unable to be there to celebrate it can be bittersweet.
About story 1, I feel bad for OP, he should have a say in some of the things in the wedding. So, I can understand that he wants to have something that reminds him of his mother. About the last story, am I the only one who thinks that the brother’s girlfriend might be interested in OP and that is why she seemed upset?
#1: NTA. 1) Why is the MOH calling you? 🚩
2) Not even one small consolation is a massive red flag.🚩
Edit: Break up. She is jealous of your dying mother.
OP’s fiancé is jealous of him spending time with his DYING mother?
Offft - hopefully OP dumped her
Planned....candid. ..shots. ...
Way to not understand words. A not perfect candid shot? The horror. That would make it a candid shot. Can't have candid shots in the candid shots.
Whether he knew it or not. OP in S1 got his answer when she called it HER happiest day. He's just the mannequin she dolled up to walk down the aisle with. He shouldn't have a say; it's not like he's getting married or anything
Story 4: NTA, it is normal (at least in western weddings) for the Bridal Party to sit in a separate table/area from the rest of the guests. Your brothers GF was not part of the bridal party, so why would she expect to sit at the same table, she should be seated with your Parents, and other family not in the bridal party.
S1 so let me get this right. Ops mum is dying and the wife to be hate his mum because he is spending time with his dying mum and not her. What a selfish ahat. Don't marry her. She has no empathy at all. If your not allowed to honour his mum then ops wife to be should not dance with her dad. But I'm petty.
OP #1: CANCEL THE WEDDING, THE ENGAGEMENT, and WIPE HER VERY EXISTENCE FROM YOUR MEMORY.
Dandelions would not be suitable for a bouquet or a vase. They wilt very fast. But artificial ones would be great. Personally, the only weed in this story is the toxic bride to be.
Wanting everything that's cheap and free is entitled?
LOL🤣
Last story - NTA. AT my wedding I had photos with the wedding party
...then my siblings (without their significant others/ unless married) there is nothing worse than having short term gf/bfs that later break up with them...and them you have to photoshop everyone. The gf could have waited...every other significant other did.
The girlfriend is selfish and a troublemaker and her brother has no backbone.
"Staged candid" is an oxymoron.
Dandelion Tribute: NTA, and dump her. She doesn't like your dying mother because you dare to spend time with her? If OP goes through with this, he is indeed TA. Call off the engagement. She will not get better in time. This doesn't bode well for married life
Story 1! If my husband asked me that to honor is mom before dying, HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK TWICE!!! I do NOT like yellow on myself but I would figure out how to make it beautiful.. Man.. That would be so awesome of a memory to have for my wedding... Giving my MIL this smile before passing gives me a smile right now and that amazing MIL is still here...
Just because you have money to spend, that doesn't mean you spend like you cannot lose it TOMORROW!! Do we need to talk about what happened with Covid?!?! Now, I'm actually with the boyfriend with just go on a NICE vacation.. It's not a bad thing to go on vacation.. You have to compromise.. If it goes beyond that, HE'S GOT TO GO!!
Last Story: I don't think that marriage is going to last. YTA, how she handled that was atrocious and I think there's more to this situation that OP has left out.
That sub _loves_ their stories with purposely misleading titles, don’t they?
The dandelions should be in his boutineer. Some people don't like native plants. Weird that he demanded she carry them when the beloved is his mother. If the fiancé lost her father and told her fiancé he needed to wear something to represent her father, reddit would immediately suggest counseling because she wants to symbolically marry her dad.
👍
Story 3 INFO: Did anyone else catch how he describes his biological kids vs his stepdaughter? There is clear favoritism here