Story 1 of course she wants to meet with him to have closure and feel good with herself for her choice of being a cheater. Glad op didn't reach out and just divorced her denying closure.
@@aaronwishard7093 my thought process is that because he didn't adopt them they aren't his children and him blowing up at his now ex as he proclaimed that they are makes him an AH Remember, being the AH in stories like this doesn't mean you did anything wrong or made a poor choice, it can also be about how you conduct yourself
@@CinnamonBob "Being the ah isn't about right or wrong it's about how you conduct yourself", like everything in life. My guy we're disagreeing because you think he is or isn't the ass based on the facts. You just aren't reading or listening correctly. 2/3 of the kids ARE his kids. He's in the process of changing them from foster to adopted fully. 1/3, the one that's the main subject of the story, is fully a foster child. That doesn't mean they're any less his child. Which is why I'm saying YOU definitely have a hot take. You know that, since you said it is a hot take to begin with. We're agreeing that it is a hot take. And I'm pointing out WHY it's a hot take. You just wanna double down on that hot take because you think he's in the wrong. Even with the evidence presented, due to the fact you're thinking exactly like the ex. "They're not your children because they're not adopted, nor did they come out of your nut sack".
@@aaronwishard7093 I called it a hot take because I was of the belief people would disagree with me, not that I was objectively wrong and your reply (aggression aside) seems like you are trying to argue that I am wrong for defending the now ex girlfriend when I literally never said she was in the right since she was dismissing the fact that he has kids to look after regardless of whose children they are! I will repeat a summary of my point that you claimed I was doubling down on (even though I didn't double down on shit, I just explained how I came to the conclusion I did) The ex girlfriend is an AH for her actions, dismissing the children that are in OP's care, and refusing to change her stance via a lack of empathy with a child who has no mother in their life OP is an AH for blowing up at his now ex girlfriend and diminishing her value when he said he would never love her nearly as much as he loves his kids despite being objectively in the right for choosing the kids in his care and had the moral high ground! I'm not going to become a broken record and keep saying that OP is in the right but is still an AH for not conducting himself in a kind and acceptable manor, so if your take away from my comment really is "I'm right that you had a hot take because you yourself said it first and you are stupid for doubling down on it!" Then fine, be that way, I just hope you give other people you reply to in other comment sections the benefit of the doubt instead of being obnoxious and disingenuous
Man, OP's proverbial body wasn't even cold before they moved in together and started planning for children. OP's right about her wanting to talk afterwards is just her trying to rid herself of the guilt. Dunno how but they deserve nuclear revenge/karma because they ruined his life and then rubbed it in his face telling him about their pregnancy plans. The only thing that they need to know from OP is that he'll resent them for the rest of his life and may they have the life they deserve.
"He's not answering my phone calls, which is childish, but that's because einwas ignoring him, but he didn't come crawling back, but I wasn't being childish..."
He says "don't just say break up" then don't ask for advice, thats the best one. Says its hard to meet people doing what he does, but if he wants whats best for the kids, she can't be involved. she made clear they lose all priority if they had their own kids
looking at the second story people are actively trying to find reason after reason to hate op weather it's "not fully adopting the kids" or "he's only doing it for the money" which isn't true. some as going as far as saying those aren't his kids which is like wtf?
S1 I've heard this post 2 to 3 yrs ago I was hoping there was more info on The situation but not. S2 He makes more money than her But is more emotional attached to Kids than she is. They are not compatible at all. She isn't mature enough to have a family, just wants The financial support. PERIOD
Story one is sad because op and ex bf grew up together like brothers so that betrayal hurts a lot. I’ve seen this shit play out twice with some acquaintances and believe it or not I can safely say that the story tends and will repeat itself. On both of my acquaintances case the cheaters cheat on each other or one gets bored and moves on while the other one is still attached to them. Even though the wife and ex bf are trying for a baby don’t be surprise if the wife repeats the pattern and cheats on him and the ex bf wants to reach to op but it will be to late
Story 2, heII naw op is better off without her, and people saying those aren't op's kids etc like her, Need to shut up too, like sorry to bust y'alls those are his kids if y'all like it or not, not to mention she was the one who jumped up without talking to op about, and booked a none refundable trip, which again anyone with common sense wouldn't do that with a single parent they don't know if their schedule is flexible, so no op isn't at fault for someone who clearly didn't care about op or his kids, because even if they was his bio kids it still wouldn't make the situation ok.
S1: The woman really wanted to make sure her reputation won't take a hit by having him say something dumb like "we just wanted different things in the future." S2: Lady should have never gotten with a man who fosters kids if she can't be bothered to care for kids that aren't her own.
I know that she will regret her decision and come crawling back when she's a single mom. Good on op for being the best husband. He did nothing wrong. It was her who took him for granted. She will realize what she actually lost.
Story 1: I am a teacher as well. If they are both teachers 👩🏫 🧑🏫, only the guy acted like it. She is horrible for continually saying that he is not their father. Whoever is responsible for the child is the parent. If I go to make a phone call to a parent, it brings up the name of the guardian or the parent. He is their guardian, and a foster parent. He is legally in charge of the children. They even live with him. For those people that keep saying that they're not his kids, they are stupid. Blood does not make you family first of all. Secondly, as a teacher, she should know that kids are the first priority of their parents, not their holidays. That is ridiculous. If she forgot, the fact that she tried to have him choose her over his children shows that she was only thinking about herself. She wanted him all to herself because she was so tired of everything. Yes, we all need vacations; but we also have responsibilities whether we're on vacation or not. She did not think about that. She was selfish. And as a fellow teacher who knows about foster children, I am ashamed to call her a fellow colleague in this profession. He's a good man and a parent. I will say, I was disappointed that they did not elaborate more on how her post got taken down from embarrassment. I was looking forward to that! 😁
Story 2: People dont know what it's like when you're a foster parent. It's in the damn name, "parent." You are their parent. You are responsible for the kids who are in your care for their health and mental health. This man put these kids' happiness above his own. If this boy has been in his life for so long, he probably wants op to be there for him. Well, he meets his mom.
Like “oh yeah HE MUST BE in the wrong!” As if the gf didn’t throw a test at him where he would have to put her above his kids and right then and there said “you will have to put me, and our future kids above your foster kids”
I don't like how op in the second story kept saying that "he is their father" and that "blood ties don't matter" when if I read this correctly was never argued against him when saying he is not their father Did anyone else get angry every time he repeatedly said "i am their father" and thought to themselves "then why didn’t you adopt them?" When he said this? I can understand if money is a problem but i don't remember him saying it was and apparently he makes more money than his gf did who paid for a presumably expensive getaway for the two of them
Not sure what's up but do know both parents must sign away their rights before that can even be an option. A friend of mine had a foster son since he was a baby like newborn baby. The dad signed but the mom wouldn't. The mom finally signed and they adopted 2 years ago. Their son is 9 now. Sometimes birth family want do what does to be done unfortunately. The birthmom had other kids taken and wouldn't get any of them back.
1st story: she doesn't deserve closure, as heartless as it sounds. She made the willing, conscious decision to form an emotional affair with the other guy and never even gave OP a chance to respond. if it is true that they didn't have sex, good for them, still a shit thing to do and she deserves to feel like shit about it. 2nd story: I am of two minds, in a way I feel both are in the wrong. In terms of a relationship, you should choose your significant other first every time, your children should be loved cared and provided for however your partner, if it is the intention to stay together, you will stay with them much longer than your children will live with you. the wife and I have a child, I do not neglect the child [I am the stay at home parent] and I spend a great deal of time with him in general. This is where I think OP is wrong, he didn't choose the partner over his child. however, the girlfriend either malicious or not, did turn the situation into an ultimatum. never test your partner, especially a single parent [I consider him in the same situation as a single parent] "testing" a partner is a quick way to lose a complete and confident individual, or it leads to unwanted stress. however I would have dropped her as soon as she made it into a ultimatum. more for the fact that she is "testing" relationship, but also because she is not taking the needs of the child into account. OP as the stable "father figure" it means a lot to a young person for the "parent" to be there, blood related or not, we look to parent figures to help us when we don't know what to do, in an obviously emotional event for 11, I think OP called him, it would be a terrible blow to his morale and confidence in the OP if he was not there. I know it sounds somewhat contradictory to say OP is wrong for not abandoning the child to go on a romantic holiday with his girlfriend, while also saying he needed to be there for 11 during the meeting with bio parent. it is more about the fact that the GF tried to make him choose one or the other, a genuine person who did forget about the meeting with 11's bio parents and accidently book a vacation the same day would work to change the day and never force someone to choose between them or the child
For someone as young as you you have certainly accumulated a lot of baggage. And yes all these kids are baggage like it or not. Good luck finding someone who can buy into all of it.
It’s crazy how the only person that commented on story number two that made any sense at all was the one who grew up being in foster care while everyone else commented based on their feelings without actually thinking
Story 1 of course she wants to meet with him to have closure and feel good with herself for her choice of being a cheater. Glad op didn't reach out and just divorced her denying closure.
Too true. The OP should just have sent her a text saying all further contact should be through his Lawyer.
I came here for story 2, and I can't believe there were people backing the lady up in the first post.
Hot take but I think they both had problems and either nobody was necessarily in the wrong or both of them were
@@CinnamonBob That's a hot take indeed. Because the guy isn't in the wrong for choosing his children.
@@aaronwishard7093 my thought process is that because he didn't adopt them they aren't his children and him blowing up at his now ex as he proclaimed that they are makes him an AH
Remember, being the AH in stories like this doesn't mean you did anything wrong or made a poor choice, it can also be about how you conduct yourself
@@CinnamonBob "Being the ah isn't about right or wrong it's about how you conduct yourself", like everything in life. My guy we're disagreeing because you think he is or isn't the ass based on the facts.
You just aren't reading or listening correctly. 2/3 of the kids ARE his kids. He's in the process of changing them from foster to adopted fully. 1/3, the one that's the main subject of the story, is fully a foster child. That doesn't mean they're any less his child. Which is why I'm saying YOU definitely have a hot take. You know that, since you said it is a hot take to begin with. We're agreeing that it is a hot take. And I'm pointing out WHY it's a hot take. You just wanna double down on that hot take because you think he's in the wrong. Even with the evidence presented, due to the fact you're thinking exactly like the ex. "They're not your children because they're not adopted, nor did they come out of your nut sack".
@@aaronwishard7093 I called it a hot take because I was of the belief people would disagree with me, not that I was objectively wrong and your reply (aggression aside) seems like you are trying to argue that I am wrong for defending the now ex girlfriend when I literally never said she was in the right since she was dismissing the fact that he has kids to look after regardless of whose children they are!
I will repeat a summary of my point that you claimed I was doubling down on (even though I didn't double down on shit, I just explained how I came to the conclusion I did)
The ex girlfriend is an AH for her actions, dismissing the children that are in OP's care, and refusing to change her stance via a lack of empathy with a child who has no mother in their life
OP is an AH for blowing up at his now ex girlfriend and diminishing her value when he said he would never love her nearly as much as he loves his kids despite being objectively in the right for choosing the kids in his care and had the moral high ground!
I'm not going to become a broken record and keep saying that OP is in the right but is still an AH for not conducting himself in a kind and acceptable manor, so if your take away from my comment really is "I'm right that you had a hot take because you yourself said it first and you are stupid for doubling down on it!" Then fine, be that way, I just hope you give other people you reply to in other comment sections the benefit of the doubt instead of being obnoxious and disingenuous
Man, OP's proverbial body wasn't even cold before they moved in together and started planning for children. OP's right about her wanting to talk afterwards is just her trying to rid herself of the guilt. Dunno how but they deserve nuclear revenge/karma because they ruined his life and then rubbed it in his face telling him about their pregnancy plans.
The only thing that they need to know from OP is that he'll resent them for the rest of his life and may they have the life they deserve.
"He's not answering my phone calls, which is childish, but that's because einwas ignoring him, but he didn't come crawling back, but I wasn't being childish..."
He says "don't just say break up" then don't ask for advice, thats the best one. Says its hard to meet people doing what he does, but if he wants whats best for the kids, she can't be involved. she made clear they lose all priority if they had their own kids
looking at the second story people are actively trying to find reason after reason to hate op weather it's "not fully adopting the kids" or "he's only doing it for the money" which isn't true. some as going as far as saying those aren't his kids which is like wtf?
People who have those backwards ass opinions have never worked with the foster system. Reunification is the goal.
i liked the, as a adoptive child i came here to represent all adoptive children in the world because i know how we all feel
S1 I've heard this post 2 to 3 yrs ago
I was hoping there was more info on
The situation but not.
S2 He makes more money than her
But is more emotional attached to
Kids than she is. They are not compatible at all. She isn't mature enough to have a family, just wants
The financial support. PERIOD
💯👍🏿
Story 2. Omg. Im 💔 and 😡 at the same time.
I'd love to read the comments from ops ex in story 2. I know they were ripping her to shreds.
Story one is sad because op and ex bf grew up together like brothers so that betrayal hurts a lot. I’ve seen this shit play out twice with some acquaintances and believe it or not I can safely say that the story tends and will repeat itself. On both of my acquaintances case the cheaters cheat on each other or one gets bored and moves on while the other one is still attached to them. Even though the wife and ex bf are trying for a baby don’t be surprise if the wife repeats the pattern and cheats on him and the ex bf wants to reach to op but it will be to late
Sure OP doesn't need closer but I do lol. I want to know why and how it could happen so quickly.
Family is defined by love not blood
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
Exactly! I have family that is not blood.
He's a creep tho, it's not love it's obsession
I wonder how to destroy their reputation
Story 2, heII naw op is better off without her, and people saying those aren't op's kids etc like her,
Need to shut up too, like sorry to bust y'alls those are his kids if y'all like it or not, not to mention she was the one who jumped up without talking to op about,
and booked a none refundable trip, which again anyone with common sense wouldn't do that with a single parent they don't know if their schedule is flexible,
so no op isn't at fault for someone who clearly didn't care about op or his kids, because even if they was his bio kids it still wouldn't make the situation ok.
S1: The woman really wanted to make sure her reputation won't take a hit by having him say something dumb like "we just wanted different things in the future."
S2: Lady should have never gotten with a man who fosters kids if she can't be bothered to care for kids that aren't her own.
it says a LOT about what the girlfriend in the second story thinks about foster parents. this isn’t his job. it’s his family.
I know that she will regret her decision and come crawling back when she's a single mom. Good on op for being the best husband. He did nothing wrong. It was her who took him for granted. She will realize what she actually lost.
Story 1: I am a teacher as well. If they are both teachers 👩🏫 🧑🏫, only the guy acted like it. She is horrible for continually saying that he is not their father. Whoever is responsible for the child is the parent. If I go to make a phone call to a parent, it brings up the name of the guardian or the parent. He is their guardian, and a foster parent. He is legally in charge of the children. They even live with him. For those people that keep saying that they're not his kids, they are stupid. Blood does not make you family first of all.
Secondly, as a teacher, she should know that kids are the first priority of their parents, not their holidays. That is ridiculous. If she forgot, the fact that she tried to have him choose her over his children shows that she was only thinking about herself. She wanted him all to herself because she was so tired of everything. Yes, we all need vacations; but we also have responsibilities whether we're on vacation or not. She did not think about that. She was selfish. And as a fellow teacher who knows about foster children, I am ashamed to call her a fellow colleague in this profession. He's a good man and a parent.
I will say, I was disappointed that they did not elaborate more on how her post got taken down from embarrassment. I was looking forward to that! 😁
I remember story 1 from another channel but never found an update
Story 2: People dont know what it's like when you're a foster parent. It's in the damn name, "parent." You are their parent. You are responsible for the kids who are in your care for their health and mental health. This man put these kids' happiness above his own. If this boy has been in his life for so long, he probably wants op to be there for him. Well, he meets his mom.
And again story 1 proves that many women are willing to do everything for their AP while denying the same to their husbands
21:22 wow this perosn didnt get any love in thwor life hope they mever adopt if this is how the feel the last thing someone like this needs is a kid
Like “oh yeah HE MUST BE in the wrong!” As if the gf didn’t throw a test at him where he would have to put her above his kids and right then and there said “you will have to put me, and our future kids above your foster kids”
Wow I can't believe this story I'm completely speechless The drama and emotions are off the charts thanks for sharing these intense tales.
story 1 wife is evil.
I don't like how op in the second story kept saying that "he is their father" and that "blood ties don't matter" when if I read this correctly was never argued against him when saying he is not their father
Did anyone else get angry every time he repeatedly said "i am their father" and thought to themselves "then why didn’t you adopt them?" When he said this?
I can understand if money is a problem but i don't remember him saying it was and apparently he makes more money than his gf did who paid for a presumably expensive getaway for the two of them
Not sure what's up but do know both parents must sign away their rights before that can even be an option. A friend of mine had a foster son since he was a baby like newborn baby. The dad signed but the mom wouldn't. The mom finally signed and they adopted 2 years ago. Their son is 9 now. Sometimes birth family want do what does to be done unfortunately. The birthmom had other kids taken and wouldn't get any of them back.
Story 1: is she really so jealous to the point she’s making Op choose between her and kids.😂
That’s the second story, not the first.
that story 2 mate
1st story: she doesn't deserve closure, as heartless as it sounds. She made the willing, conscious decision to form an emotional affair with the other guy and never even gave OP a chance to respond. if it is true that they didn't have sex, good for them, still a shit thing to do and she deserves to feel like shit about it.
2nd story: I am of two minds, in a way I feel both are in the wrong. In terms of a relationship, you should choose your significant other first every time, your children should be loved cared and provided for however your partner, if it is the intention to stay together, you will stay with them much longer than your children will live with you. the wife and I have a child, I do not neglect the child [I am the stay at home parent] and I spend a great deal of time with him in general. This is where I think OP is wrong, he didn't choose the partner over his child.
however, the girlfriend either malicious or not, did turn the situation into an ultimatum. never test your partner, especially a single parent [I consider him in the same situation as a single parent] "testing" a partner is a quick way to lose a complete and confident individual, or it leads to unwanted stress. however I would have dropped her as soon as she made it into a ultimatum. more for the fact that she is "testing" relationship, but also because she is not taking the needs of the child into account. OP as the stable "father figure" it means a lot to a young person for the "parent" to be there, blood related or not, we look to parent figures to help us when we don't know what to do, in an obviously emotional event for 11, I think OP called him, it would be a terrible blow to his morale and confidence in the OP if he was not there.
I know it sounds somewhat contradictory to say OP is wrong for not abandoning the child to go on a romantic holiday with his girlfriend, while also saying he needed to be there for 11 during the meeting with bio parent. it is more about the fact that the GF tried to make him choose one or the other, a genuine person who did forget about the meeting with 11's bio parents and accidently book a vacation the same day would work to change the day and never force someone to choose between them or the child
Me personally I could never adopt a kid I couldn't see them as my own
You are self obsessed
For someone as young as you you have certainly accumulated a lot of baggage. And yes all these kids are baggage like it or not. Good luck finding someone who can buy into all of it.
It’s crazy how the only person that commented on story number two that made any sense at all was the one who grew up being in foster care while everyone else commented based on their feelings without actually thinking