Hi Michele! As always, you are absolutely correct! At least, for me. I am looking forward to talking with you tomorrow. We are still early in the game but I know that this going to help me to be an overcomer. I am not going to call myself a "victim" of abuse. I don't want to remain as a "survivor." I want to be an "overcomer." Not only for my own happiness and well-being; but with the strong intent of expanding my practice to include trauma recovery coaching, because there is such a huge need for it. I already have been seeing it in a lot of my current clients, as well as, just out and about in daily life. You have been a huge inspiration! Finally, I understand what has been happening and more of the "why." Now, I am learning how to overcome it and where to go from here. This lifetime pattern is feeling less of a forever trap with no way out. There is hope. To those of you who have found From Surviving to Thriving and have suffered the effects of narcissistic abuse, I want to strongly encourage you to sign up with Michele and let her personally help you through this. Her wisdom and insight, which she has gained through her own personal experience, helps her client find the tools to overcome the effects of narcissistic abuse, as well as, how to handle those narcissistic individuals that do cross our paths. Learning how to handle it and prevent getting sucked back into the same situations over and over again. It will be the best $99 you will ever invest in yourself! You deserve it!
When a narcissist says "I love you", what they most probably mean is, "I love having a cook, a maid, a laundress, a facade of being a loving husband and father- but no accountability, no keeping of my word, and someone to abuse" When a genuinely loving, caring person says, "I love you", the definition of love as found in 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible describes their behavior. In other words, reflect on what love IS, if you ever want to truly find it, study that, and then you'll know it when you see it!
It feels so good to find out and realize you're not the only one that's gone though this unbelievable living hell! Because, most people have no idea st all what narcissist abuse is.
It was just by happenstance that I came across narcissistic abuse videos on RUclips about 2 years ago. And, to be honest, it more than likely saved my life.
I’m 2 years into narcissistic studying from my last narcissistic relationship I know now that I had 2 such relationships one after the other they still haunt me but I know what it’s all about now I’m gonna keep studying and better myself from getting involved with these sick demonic individuals
I'd been doing therapy for years! Since I was 20 (I'm 30 now) Nobody told me about Narcissism. I didn't even understand what abuse was. I thought I wasn't good enough. Waking up.
This EXACTLY what I'm going through RIGHT NOW. WOW. I've only just realised that my mother is a narcissist. The rest of the world thinks she's this wonderful caring woman but haven't seen how she crippled me emotionally. She's always asking intrusive questions, criticizing me, comparing me to others, projecting her crap onto me, especially telling me all my life that I'm this selfish, self centered person. She can switch from a perpetrator to a pathetic victim in a second flat. She takes full advantage of my lack of wit, my gentleness, and inability to think quick and explain, and makes me look like a blubbering fool. Its so hard as she has so much on me, eg my lack of friends, my 2 divorces and the fact that I'm unemployed and can't get a job. I'm 53 and shes 79 and she still intimidates me. I know if I stood up to her she would spew acid at me about how inferior I am. I've been married to 2 narcissists. My last husband wanted out and made my life unbearable so I left then made me out to be a wicked bitch and everyone believed him because he's such a "nice guy". Just discovering this has really opened my eyes. I thought it was my fault and there was something wrong with me. I'm watching your videos and many other excellent mentors on RUclips. Thank you so much and I will continue to watch your videos on my long road to recovery.
Lex - I read the article that you linked and while I won't dispute that patriarchal issues can cause a lot of issues between mothers and daughters, I would like to caution that it is certainly not the only thing that results in conflict between narcissistic mothers and their daughters. I know the causes of my own mother's narcissism and can say with certainty that they were the result of abandonment as well as physical and emotional neglect starting at a young age, but expectations from a patriarchal society were not really factors for her. The abuse that I suffered from her stemmed from a need on her part to absolutely control everything in her environment, to include very thoughts and feelings of her family members, along with a fear of abandonment that resulted in her trying to emotionally hobble her children so we would always have to depend on her. Again, I won't say that the article is wrong, and I'm glad that it helped you so much, but would like to make sure that everyone is aware that "patriarchy" isn't the only source of narcissistic abuse by a mother to her daughter.
I agree that narcissism is created by a trauma that can affect men or women and isn't necessarily from patriarchy. The main reason I linked to that is it does help with healing and reframing. The big takeaway from that article and others of hers is that it's our responsibility and opportunity to heal generational trauma and not pass it on to others -- maybe even inspire others to end their inherited generational trauma. We end that legacy of pain by healing ourselves independent of those who have hurt us most. We don't need their permission to rise.
Thanks for your comment.I read it as soon as I got to this video,even before watching it.What you say really resonates with my life so now I´m going to watch this video! May you find your way to shine in all our power and recover from narcissist bombs! Big Hug.
It's so good to finally be told the 'truth', but so hard to understand and believe that people can be that way. Frankly I need a lot of reminders therefore the binge watch. They put me back onto path of sanity!
I literally cried when I learned about narcissism and scapegoating. I thought to myself, after 36 years, someone finally gets it, someone finally is validating what I’ve been through. I spent my entire life thinking there was something wrong with me. I finally found out what happened and why things were the way they were
Gaslighting took away everything from me and watching these videos provided me with the validation that I needed. Self education is a part of who I am and I learned a lot watching these videos. AND I FEEL LESS ALONE.
My reasons too... when my cognitive dissonance sneaks in I listen to them... I have come a long way in one year...thanks to all of you wonderful people... I spent a whole year right here on you tube.. I've finally got myself out amongst people...I'm still very apprehensive about trusting..but I will get that back soon enough.😊
Sam Miller When you have 2 conflicting thoughts to deal with... one is the truth and one is what the Narcissist wants you to think... for example... he tells you he loves you.... but abuses you...your mind believes his words because you want that to be true... we stay through the abuse because of that reason...if that does not make it clear...there are a lot of you tubes on the subject....it's also known as mind fuckery.
Paula I was in similar place and after learning about narcissism with binge watching I ended up with a new best friend who has good boundaries and is fully thoughtful towards me and it gives me real hope I can finally find a romance that isn't a shit pile ..healing somewhat and adding nontoxic people your life really can happen .
"The puzzle pieces not fitting together" is a good analogy. You know that something is amiss, but you can't quite piece it together. The narc channels give you the missing link. In my case, I knew I was being abused in the FOO and was aware that my narcissistically abusive family members' gaslighting and crazy making behaviors were psychological ploys designed to sabotage and undermine me. I always had a good sense of right and wrong and knew that their lies and betrayals were a travesty and miscarriage of justice. The narcissism forums and platforms help you through the discovery and exploratory phases of NPD and give you that measure of comparison with other survivors as well as the strength to extricate oneself from the abuse. Like you said, it's a stepping stone to get from one place to another on the healing journey. I don't binge watch anymore. Do you still find yourself watching occasionally?
Just whip smart. Do you realize how healthy you look. An inspiration. Congrats on a good guy. Remember being metaphorically crushed laying on the floor looking up ? Anyone can do this upswing in life. No excuses for not seeing self worth. Never ever look back & never go back !
I"ve been out now for a year and a half, and yes, I binge watched vids on Narcissism! I even watched Knowing the Narcissist..a first hand account of how they act from a Narcissist. I felt so validated in watching these channels, including yours Michelle.
I am glad of your achievements. For my part, I was told in childhood I had to sacrifice myself. I remember it very well and the fear involved with it, coming from a Catholic family, I could see myself nailed to a cross. So, I don't punish myself with that; it wasn't volunteering to be abused. My life script was written by my abusers. Now, re-writting my own life script is my job for the present and future but not the responsibility of being brainwashed as a girl.
Stephanie H. They will do that. They will talk about you to the children and paint a picture of a crazy, bad person. Because this is exactly what they are.
Exactly 1 year ago, I discovered your channel. 2 months later, I escaped my abusive relationship with a narcissist. Not only did u help save my life, but u helped put things in perspective which allowed a 💡 moment! You are a Blessing to myself and a few friends. And yes, after the relationship ended, I discovered that I had a narcissistic parent as well, and THAT blew my mind. But I'm healing. ♥
Thank you for normalizing my obsession for watching narcissistic videos. I've been out of the relationship for quite sometime and am beginning to experience flashbacks. Moments of clarity occur spontaneously, these are aha moments. Abuse of this magnitude is unfathomable for many. It malign hoovers, luckily these occasional attacks have become further spaced apart. It has a new target and feels the need to leave bloodcurdling messages of how I do not measure up. Of course it did that to the previous target using me. Abuse of this nature is cyclical.
I think it happens to many of us. I think is ok if you don't get stuck on them and avoid listening videos about personal growth in order to know yourself and make changes like setting boundaries and knowing yourself better.
I binge watch because no matter how much I learn about narcissism I can't wrap my brain around why they are this way. Six years in this relationship has been absolute torture and yet I'm still here. This evil is so hard to make sense of.
I thought I was obsessed and I just saw narcissists everywhere the first months. Now, after 3 years of no contact and learning about the topic I know they are everywhere and is no joke or paranoia. Keep safe 🍀
im binging rn on this channel as well as a few others. i was discarded on Friday and it is still super fresh, confusing and painful. 3 years of trying so, so, so hard to be a "good girl" and accepting the fact that to have happiness i have to say "okay sounds good" to everything he wanted just came to a screeching halt. he has discarded me before but i definitely believe this was the final one. i made it very clear to him i never want to see his face or hear his voice ever again. i know I'm lucky it was 3 years, no marriage, no children... i can't imagine what decades of this, married to it and have babies with it, would have felt like... thank you Michelle for your help xoxo
At first I looked online and read everything I could. At the beginning it was unbelievable to me that this actually happened to me. Then I read about people who know about this. I read books, then I discovered You Tube videos and I found a wealth of knowledge and abused sisters/brothers. People who I could relate to, people who understood me, I looked back and saw from the moment I met him, how pleasantly surprised a great empath just fell in his lap. He was all smiles, asking all the questions, trying to get to know me. It was textbook, but at that time I didn't see it. Even after the discard, I did not want to believe it. Over the last 3 years, I look at the videos and every once and then I learn something new. Keep working on it, one day that light bulb will go on, just be ready to make that move and go forward and don't look back. It will happen for some sooner, for others later. You cannot give up. Michelle is amazing.
Grace Wright once it clicks, sinks in and you actually realise and more importantly accept the cold hard unworkable fact that these beings cannot feel, give or reciprocate LOVE in any way (as Empaths know) then you will realise that loving them is a waste of time and life. If there was a dog knocked down by the roadside you’d stay and help it (because you love) but if you saw a dead rotting crow at the roadside you’d drive on (no point) These evil people are dead crows - we couldn’t make them alive if we tried the rest of our lives. Let go of something that will always be dead and always die and spend your life loving someone alive inside and that will give you back what you deserve. It’s tough but Gods pruning is to ensure we blossom 🦋🌸
I really appreciate this video. It’s been five months since ending my covert narcissist relationship of three years. I binged watched for about three months until I felt like I was getting tired of focusing my energy so much on my past partner and what I had gone through. So, I started binge watching self development videos and I shifted my focus to improving me. The challenge since then for me has been that I have struggled with romanticizing my past partners positive traits, as brought up in these self improvement videos and questioning myself and my decision to leave and the possibility of getting back together if I better learn and live these self improvement principals. Sometimes I think to myself, maybe I should have been more patient, more loving, less attached and less reactive when my ex-partner was experiencing narcissistic injury and I literally have to remind myself that I don’t want to be treated the negative ways that I was treated by anyone at any time, regardless of the root cause. So now I find myself binge watching a mix of both narcissistic recovery and self improvement videos, which helps me to recall what I don’t want, the narcissist, and what I do want, a healthier me.
Learning about the experience of others is also a helpful way to learn about toxic relationships in your own life. I love the playlist entitled subscribers stories, it’s a playlist for those that have sent in recordings of conversations with narcissists-hearing those conversations can be so eye opening and can help us evaluate how WE are handling things in our own life. Here is the link for that playlist. ruclips.net/p/PLR8GUKQqcfzkbKlUMQVeE3lVCQQXlJCYA And if you enjoy true story dramas or memoirs you have to read the book Dating Harley Quinn which is the almost unbelievable story of one male subscribers emotional rollercoaster ride that left him homeless, suicidal and with brain damage...you won’t be able to put it down once you start reading it!! payhip.com/b/a31b
From Surviving To Thriving!! Hi sweetie your knowledge is so precise and soothing without anger ,there are too many narcs in open society,do you know why they took little Sham off videos .
Hi Michelee, I'm wife of such a person for whom I've completely devoted my life for the past 24 years. I left my parents, my religion and lived all these years for his happiness. Now I realise that I'm with a person who use me for his and his family's happiness. Now i realized, he's even brain washed my son who's 23 years old. He's also against me now. Never complained and was earning for the family with least personal expenses for myself. Now i see what all you say is what I'm living with! I want to leave the relationship at the earliest at this age of 45, realising I'll have to face a more tougher time tomorrow how they'll treat me once I'm jobless or sick!
I agree with all 10 reasons and have found them to be all the reasons why I did it and still do watch them from time to time. You catch every angle. I really like that!
The one thing that has kept me going forward is knowing that I'm not alone. I am mind-boggled at how many millions of them there really are out there destroying good people, and children's lives. It's so sad.
Yup. It’s like you read my mind... I was binge watching narc videos so much recently. Seeing accurate colors now for the first time, I didn’t realize the world was so colorful!! ☺️✨💞✨
Ha, I've been binge watching for a couple of weeks. 17 year relationship with a total narcissist just ended with a sudden and cold discard. I gave her everything I had and bam. Got home from work, laid down for a 20 minute nap. I woke up to her standing over me saying that she was leaving and never coming back. With a grin on her face! Like a whirlwind, she left on a Saturday and moved all of her things out by the next wednsday. I went no contact from the start and it's been 3 weeks. I'm feeling better thanks to these videos. I began looking into this a couple of years ago based on some actions of hers and a weird stare accompanied with a grin she'd give me. When I think back now, I'm just creeped out by it. She dropped me just when my business was going good and during a time I was helping my friend through his own break up. I was provided absolutely no closure.
Learning about what I grew up with and then married has taken me to a place of understanding. Also a huge amount of validation. I am starting to know who I am and what I went through. This has made such a difference to my healing and recovery. Identification has played such an important role. I am so grateful for all the input and all the information. It has made my life so much more manageable
I NEEDED to hear this! I had no idea I was the only one who binge watched these videos. I agree with ALL these reasons. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for "getting it."
When I watch your videos all I do is cry and cry. I lived with a narcissist for three years who not only psychically abusive but emotionally. He made me think I was crazy and he never validated me. He devalued me with everyone. And the worst part all his friends and family are also narcissistic. After I finally left him I realized other people in my life were narcissistic. Your videos explain the thinking pattern of these evil people. I had a really good friend who started validating me and saying that he worked with my ex and his friends who admired they were untrustworthy and just like him. My friend told me that my ex was feeling horrible around me to put me down because I was intelligent and he couldn't get away with his plans of destroying me for his own power.
This video is probably THE best of all your videos. I felt like you're talking to me! I admit I binge watch a lot of videos regarding narcissism and borderline personality disorder and the like. The more I learned about these disorders the more I felt good. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it why. And then you bring up point after point and I go aha aha... exactly! Binge watching and understanding personality disorders better gave, and is, giving me peace. I distanced myself from certain people that always left me with a strange feeling-low feeling after meeting them. I revisited relationships past and was able to pinpoint what went wrong. Or why I was upset at certain things. And most of all, like you pointed out, it was them - not me! All these years of soul searching and thinking I should've done this or that seem laughable.. These people put the thoughts in my head. I'm forever thankful to you and similar channels that take the time to help other victims (oh yeah, I never thought I was that... That's another benefit..)
Great video, I was thinking about this the other day. It’s been 6 months for me and I would watch all day everyday and night. I don’t watch as often but if I see a title that catches my attention I will watch
I needed to continue watching because I needed a continual reminder... Even though I had watched videos and had a better understanding.... I needed to keep watching in order to maintain resolve... to remind myself why at some point I would have to get out and stay out .
Another great video! I have reduced the amount of videos that I watch but still do watch. Sometimes I want to backside into having hope and faith that she will change, that I can save her. I watch these videos to remind me of the truth. Michelle your videos have help me immensely!
Another homerun video, Michelle! Thanks! I have found that as I make continued progress, my need to binge watch narc vids has gone way down. But that took over a year. I appreciate your communicating very effectively without all the expletives some use.
😂 my dad stopped by unannounced the other day, the first thing he said was “something HAS to change..” I thought he meant himself and my mom 😂 nope, he meant ME! 🤦♀️🙅🏻♀️
I overheard my father talking to my husband about me that I am crazy and he’s worried about me and when I’m going to change for good and blah blah blah... At the same time my husband was getting his supply. Shame on both the narcissist.
I absolutely concur with every point! And I'll add a #11 for those of us who have children with the narc... to get ideas of how to help our children overcome the abuse, & not become little narcissists like their other parent. I love your videos, Michelle! Thank you (and several others) for bringing me back to sanity, and hopefully soon, my children too!
I totally agree with the binge watching! I have been watching videos from a few different RUclipsrs and all of a sudden I felt so refreahed and like my eyes are wide open to what I had went through! It was an amazing feeling! Keep up the great work, Michele! 😀💜
It’s true...no one gets it, even people who are currently in their own abusive relationship, because of their cognitive dissonance. That leaves, like, literally no one. It’s so lonely. These videos help so much.
This is TOTALLY ME! I’ve been binge watching for the last 7 days. While in the SILENT TREATMENT mode I’ve been trying to help myself understand what has been happening the last 12 years of my life. Now I’m learning what armor is effective against that and trying to practice for when the battle begins. You are TOTALLY AMAZING! thank you from the bottom of my heart ♥️
To finally understand that all those years there was nothing wrong with me, I'm not crazy and yes to know I'm not alone and also to keep learning to try to stay or avoid a future relationship with a narcissist!!! To also heal, to become a better me, to love myself!!! Thank you for all you do in making these videos and the time it takes to do so, much respect!!!!
Omgosh this is so me! I am totally binge watching now...i cannot get over spot on these are. I have doubts that maybe its me. But i watch these videos again and i realize its not me. I get scared that people, specifically my family, wont understand and that o am just being "sensitive."
Man, did yr ex-narc dip out losing you. Yr lovely and smart. Every time I get sucked back in, I take a dose of yr experience and wisdom, it sets me on track again. Love the frog analogy. Perfect!
Thank you for making overcoming videos, I've spent the last 7 months listening to every narcissist video every 12 hour shift I work, and it is about time for me to go to the next step, differentiating my anger from resentment, and changing my internal thought pathways to rediscover who I am.
I am learning so much and realizing that what I believed about my ex was confirmed and that it really was abuse. I am now at a new stage of healing bc of this
You are so talented to describe details of emotions that we all went trough after narcissistic abuse that it really helps to see the truth! Thank you Michelle🙏
Hello amazing people! I would love if some of the adults, or at least people bigger than me here can give me some advice, if that's not too much to ask. But, first of all, I want to thank Michelle for making this kind of videos and help so many people who went/are going through what she went through. You are a wonderful person I can't be thankful enough for discovering. Also thanks to anyone who takes a few minutes from their time to answer me. I am 14 years old and I have just discovered that my mother is a narcissist. I read hundreds of articles and watched even more videos and I have now convinced myself, because I couldn't believe it. I live in a country where this type of behaviour is considered "disciplinary" and "just a little bit strict" and because of that I thought it wasn't possible. I am grateful because I consider myself lucky, because a video about narcissism popped up in my recommendations so I learned about this at a younger age than most people (and probably I am one of the few ones who now about this here) and I have a little bit of an attention deficit (which my mom is obviously ignoring). Don't get me wrong, I know attention deficit is bad, but I think it was the thing that kept my very emotional self breaking down at the awful words my mother is throwing at me since I was a child. I couldn't concentrate or remember properly everything she would say, and even so I would get moments when, (I didn't realise what I was doing and who I was confronting and I thought it was my loving mother) I told her to kill me and beat me up (at 6 years old!) Or told her that she acts like she's my adoptive mother (even though I think I insulted every adoptive mother ever). I think the fact that I am naturally a very bold and truthful person helped me get through everything and it still is. This helped mostly when she would compare me to my dad (who was physically abusive and whom my mom divorced, I also think he was the reason she became a narcissist) and I would always speak in my head: "I don't think I am like him at all! Why does she say that?" This after analysing myself a million times. Other members of my family weren't this lucky and this makes me tear up. I am talking about my grandmother. I live with her and my mother and they are arguing every minute of the day. She has been so badly influenced by a woman whom she adopted when no one would've, I can't even put it in words. When I tried explaining her all the things I have learned, in the simplest words I could she would tell me she can't and she doesn't know how to cope with her. My question is, how do I help my grandmother? Thank you so very much!
10 Reasons- 1) Hearing Reality (after a long period of living in unreality) 2) Calculative and Purposeful Nature of Narcissists is to Hurt You 3) Validation 4) Keeping Yourself Strong (not to get abuse amnesia) 5) Makes you feel less alone 6) Need to make sure it was not you 7) To gather strength from others narratives 8) Begin to see Red Flags in others- friends, workplaces, etc 9) It helps you put together your life, the puzzles make sense Clarity of Mind 10) Support Group between Survivors Love you Michelle, you’re an angel
I'm totally binge watching narcissist videos. Yours especially Michelle. My reason is I need to be reminded what my fry pan to the head moment has happened many times. And to get my inner self healing. I also started to believe that I am the narcissist. This has helped me see my truth. And help me how to respond and not react. How to protect my dignity and respect .. So many words can't describe how I am feeling right now. And definitely to help me stay strong. Thank you for your hard work.
I went through a binge phase when I first started learning about how narcissism has been affecting my life. In the beginning, every video gave me brand new insight into my experience and I needed more and more answers to my questions. After a while, it becomes, ironically, a monotonous stream of “narcissists do this... and this.... and that.... and definitely this too...”. There comes a point where you’re going to plateau in your ability to understand your experience with narcissists. Once you stop getting that flow of answers, you revert to feeling helpless against the unknowns of your experience. Nobody on youtube is talking about your personal story and it becomes important for you to answer those questions on your own. Once you know a friend/family member is narcissistic, it becomes hard to understand how you should interpret their actions and ideas. And you’ll spend years watching other people tell you what THEY did to get better, knowing it’s not advice for YOU, but in general. You binge because so long as youre the one watching, these videos are talking to YOU. You are the focal point, the information is just for you and your experience. Once you begin to address your narcissistic issues outside of youtube, you realize how ALONE you are still, so you cling to watching others feel also alone with you. Trust: at a certain point, stop craving these videos. Start wanting to hear your own thoughts on the matter instead of someone “reputable” who “knows” your problems. In order to free yourself from the narcissist, you have to stop looking to others to tell you how to proceed. Eventually your life will be in your hands only and YOU will have to become the only narcissist you listen to and value as such. Once you realize your own ideas are more important/reliable to you than those from youtube, you can finally rely on yourself regardless of others. And THAT is the true freedom from narcissism. You’re not learning how to escape one or two specific people, you’re learning how to be your own narcissist for you. Go with it. It’s part of owning your future. Don’t forget to go back to being focused on yourself and things you like, instead of the people in your life that hurt you. Good luck to everyone, it’s hard.
Great job Michele. Every time you mentioned a reason, I shouted YES!! That is exactly how I feel. I cannot explain enough how good it feels to know someone understands.
Thank you for your videos! I was with a narcissistic woman for 30 years and married to her for 22 years. We are divorcing. I started to a lot of the things that you have described in your videos without knowing what I was doing was slowly stopping the way I was feeding into her games. It’s taken a long time to begin to recover. But your videos have been a great deal of help. Thank you again.
Been stuck and need to get unstuck. Its been 5 months and can't stop binge watching. For me it was refreshing that I know what it is just devastated that he is a narcisist . 15 years 2 kids just like you Michele.
Thank you for making this video. This subject is rarely talked about, and your bravery to do so is much appreciated. I resonate with 100% of what you said. I binge watched for almost a year, but have zero regrets or shame for doing so. I truly believe these videos are the ONLY reason I was able to recover at all. Really...the comments more than the actual video. There is absolutely no way to grasp this unless you have lived it, and even then its a lot to take in. I no longer binge watch, but I do keep up with a few channels and watch new videos. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER when it comes to narcissists, and there is always more to learn and share.
i just went no contact a week ago the videos have helped me tremendously in helping me see that what I’m feeling is okay... and they’re helping me explain to my mom why I’m feeling what I’m feeling and what I’m really dealing with... it’s easy to say just walk away I wouldn’t be going through this if there was another way... your videos have helped me a TON... thank you 🖤
I can't believe how relatable this is. I feel like I'm finally seeing the light. "Is there really such validation for me?!" Thank you so much @From Surviving To Thriving!! Your videos have been the source for my binge watching and the hook the has lifted me from the abyss. Thank you!!! 😊😊😊
When I start to "miss" the narc, I'll watch a video or two. It's been a long road, questioning everything about myself and coming to terms with the horrid manipulations. Hindsight is 20/20 and almost every action or reaction he exhibited were all narcissistic. It was so hard to believe myself over him. And now that I've finally seen him clearly, he's almost laughable. And when you see just how delusional they are, you realize THIS cannot be in my life. The second guessing gets better with time but because of the mind control I'm constantly having to put it back in it's place. The more I build on me, the less I second guess. Learning just how strong I am. Thanks, Michele, you truly are doing great and wonderful things to help us through one of the absolute worst things that can happen to someone. Having your sense of self completely obliterated and then the unimaginable strength it takes to recover is a journey I would not wish on anyone. But here we are! And we can do it!
This video is huge encouragement. Everything you said resonates with me. I married last December. I knew nothing of narcissists. I just filed for divorce. From the beginning of marriage I started watching RUclips because I just couldn't rap my head around the conflict in our relationship. Binge watching now is confirming I'm doing what is best for me and I'm not crazy. Thank you so much for sharing! ❤
Yes! Becoming aware of it, affirming it exists, hearing that other people have gone through it, and for me, I really want to know it, understand it, and avoid it in the future. Those are all reasons I binge watch narcissism videos... So I don't get blind-sided again. And the crazy thing is, I'm now recognizing it in relationships with family and friends, as well. Being able to name it, and describe it helps so much. I'm sending videos to my daughter non-stop too. She's becoming aware but still struggling to stay away from her narcissist. I'm trying to help her see what's going on with her. And I'm also confessing that's it's happened to me, as well. She's not alone, and healing and personal transformation are in order.
Nice to see that we're not the only ones Michele....LOL. I'd gone months not watching then I came back for some refreshers as I noticed I was falling back into emotional flashbacks again. It is infuriating to say the least, especially when you don't catch them fast enough and they chew up days of time as you calm yourself down and try to figure out what's setting you off. I hadn't caught a bunch of videos of yours that I've watched this weekend. Thanks for putting them up there. About first not beating the crap out of myself and second to realize that my own brain has been trying to finish the job I started probably 10 years ago now. I think what's setting me off most is just having any interactions with my remaining parent, my dad. I will periodically catch myself falling into telling myself that I should try to help him, or do this or that, only to occasionally wake the hell up to realize what he truly is. I bloody narc..... just like my mom. You have to keep fighting with yourself to realize that a person you once idolized as a child is 1000% unworthy of such adoration (since that's all they freaking seek anyway, basically worship) and that they're in fact a weak monster that only has interest in you so far as how they might try to figure out how to hurt or maim you emotionally. I think. few people call it "radical acceptance".... and I find that when I start to feel like I might actually an okay person is when I've properly put that into play. Or most simply put, I don't give a shit any more because there isn't a damn thing to do to change their sorry ass. That must be encouraging to see your daughter wise up to such things that put us all through so much hurt. You're teaching her well and sparing her much pain in her life as she matures. Nice to hear that being done. Thanks again for this video.
Amen! Love this! It's all so true! And I'm totally thrilled to find out that after ALL these DECADES, that I'm just a HSP! Now, my whole life is making sense!
nice to know im not crazy and alone out here.. 10 yr relationship and 5 yrs of isolation before I found the strength to make a stand and say no more to her. after a year and half im healing slowly and making changes for my children ... your channel has helped change my life for the better thank you🙂
I grew up with narcissistic parents. All of my relationships with men have been narcissistic situation. I am 75 years old and I’m still feeling all the effects. Your videos are really helping me
Thank you Michele for explaining this abuse in a way easy for others to understand. Your content is spot on and I am so grateful you share it with the world to help others.
Sounds pretty accurate to me. One of the reasons I like your videos is because you have lived through it and I can see that you are better. You are like a light that I can focus on and I can see that there must be an end to this madness. Thank you for posting these videos and all of the other things you do.
Yes. Theses types of videos has helped me heal alot faster than I thought. They actually gave me strength that when my narcissist saw that I was not torn he was angry.
Yes. Everything you've mentioned. Also the severe pain sticking to no contact and being broken and confused just wanting so bad to heal & make sense of things when you can't and have to find closure on your own bc you couldn't trust narcs words & don't even know what was real or mask. I want to watch these to keep reminding myself when I feel the cognitive dissonance, knowing I always start doubting myself and feeling like i could've made things right.. when I know the outcome has always been the same, toxic. I've been through a lot, have felt deep pain throughout life but I don't know if I've ever felt pain and confusion this bad and felt this destroyed. Thank tho for making these videos which validate us who are trying to understand what happened and survive ❤
Exactly what I been doing after finding out I have a narcissist mother and a narcissist friend. I watch your videos and narcology unscripted and I have learned so much from these videos. Knowledge is power.
Thank you so so much for these videos Michelle. I’ve been binge watching for 4 weeks to keep my strength up. I nearly got sucked back in and was going back as I’m still seeing past why my wife does what she does . I lost my temper this morning on FaceTime and it’s put me back into protection mode . If it wasn’t for these videos I’d be back there trying to work things out and wondering why . My nature is to try be saintly and work through this and help my wife but I’m not there and can explode myself with frustration. She gave me excuses today for abusing me for 7 hours on our wedding night just because I needed some sleep , she used it wasn’t the day she perceived in her head and her family weren’t there because she is foreign , 7 hours of constant abuse, shouting, getting drunker, ringing people etc on our wedding night . Because I get frustrated I shout back and try make her see how much it hurt me and then I’m the abusive one . I feel like screaming. I was sick on our wedding night and just needed an hours sleep to recharge as I’m ill . It’s crazy madness and without your videos I’d be dead. I’m a recovering alcoholic of 5 years so I’m some ways understand this addiction but I’d still be confused . I thank you from the bottom of my heart because i have not 1 person I can talk too and have spotted some very dangerous patterns in friends / family also. So it’s a bit lonely at the moment . I’m lucky enough to be at my brothers house but I’m also helping him through his own breakup !!!! I’m watching everyone of your videos, your work is truly amazing and I am soooo grateful ❤️❤️❤️
Michele I just want to say, thank you for all of your videos. They are so informative and have helped me come to the light. You are helping so many people. THANK YOU! May God bless you always. ♥️
6 years and binging, but in all fairness just found out about these vids. Also repressed a lot to focus on school and work and the repression hit me all at once like a bus.
Hi Michele!
As always, you are absolutely correct! At least, for me. I am looking forward to talking with you tomorrow. We are still early in the game but I know that this going to help me to be an overcomer. I am not going to call myself a "victim" of abuse. I don't want to remain as a "survivor." I want to be an "overcomer." Not only for my own happiness and well-being; but with the strong intent of expanding my practice to include trauma recovery coaching, because there is such a huge need for it. I already have been seeing it in a lot of my current clients, as well as, just out and about in daily life. You have been a huge inspiration! Finally, I understand what has been happening and more of the "why." Now, I am learning how to overcome it and where to go from here. This lifetime pattern is feeling less of a forever trap with no way out. There is hope.
To those of you who have found From Surviving to Thriving and have suffered the effects of narcissistic abuse, I want to strongly encourage you to sign up with Michele and let her personally help you through this. Her wisdom and insight, which she has gained through her own personal experience, helps her client find the tools to overcome the effects of narcissistic abuse, as well as, how to handle those narcissistic individuals that do cross our paths. Learning how to handle it and prevent getting sucked back into the same situations over and over again. It will be the best $99 you will ever invest in yourself! You deserve it!
Holy Cow, Michele!
You pinned my post??? And to think that I hesitated!! Thank you! 💓
WE GIVE UP EVERYTHING TO BE THEIR NOTHING
Marianne G 👏🏻
Iv never thought of it that way before. That is the best comment iv ever seen about this topic.
Omg this. ^^ dealing with the same thing now with my 16 year old.
Oh so true. I'm using this one 😊
Yes. Very well said. That’s exactly right.
When a narcissist says "I love you", what they most probably mean is, "I love having a cook, a maid, a laundress, a facade of being a loving husband and father- but no accountability, no keeping of my word, and someone to abuse" When a genuinely loving, caring person says, "I love you", the definition of love as found in 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible describes their behavior. In other words, reflect on what love IS, if you ever want to truly find it, study that, and then you'll know it when you see it!
Prescott Lady soooo true!!
I am a utility for my GF and get zero affection for it
It feels so good to find out and realize you're not the only one that's gone though this unbelievable living hell! Because, most people have no idea st all what narcissist abuse is.
Exactly
I'm 60 and it's barely been a year that I've realized my Famdamnly completes to see who can drop me from the next high point I achieve.😮
It was just by happenstance that I came across narcissistic abuse videos on RUclips about 2 years ago. And, to be honest, it more than likely saved my life.
Same! ×
I’m 2 years into narcissistic studying from my last narcissistic relationship I know now that I had 2 such relationships one after the other they still haunt me but I know what it’s all about now I’m gonna keep studying and better myself from getting involved with these sick demonic individuals
I'd been doing therapy for years! Since I was 20 (I'm 30 now) Nobody told me about Narcissism. I didn't even understand what abuse was. I thought I wasn't good enough. Waking up.
Me too
I know for me it is because it's the only validation I got.
This EXACTLY what I'm going through RIGHT NOW. WOW. I've only just realised that my mother is a narcissist. The rest of the world thinks she's this wonderful caring woman but haven't seen how she crippled me emotionally. She's always asking intrusive questions, criticizing me, comparing me to others, projecting her crap onto me, especially telling me all my life that I'm this selfish, self centered person. She can switch from a perpetrator to a pathetic victim in a second flat. She takes full advantage of my lack of wit, my gentleness, and inability to think quick and explain, and makes me look like a blubbering fool. Its so hard as she has so much on me, eg my lack of friends, my 2 divorces and the fact that I'm unemployed and can't get a job. I'm 53 and shes 79 and she still intimidates me. I know if I stood up to her she would spew acid at me about how inferior I am.
I've been married to 2 narcissists. My last husband wanted out and made my life unbearable so I left then made me out to be a wicked bitch and everyone believed him because he's such a "nice guy".
Just discovering this has really opened my eyes. I thought it was my fault and there was something wrong with me. I'm watching your videos and many other excellent mentors on RUclips.
Thank you so much and I will continue to watch your videos on my long road to recovery.
it's so freaking hard! But you are strong and clever! You will make it!
Lex - I read the article that you linked and while I won't dispute that patriarchal issues can cause a lot of issues between mothers and daughters, I would like to caution that it is certainly not the only thing that results in conflict between narcissistic mothers and their daughters.
I know the causes of my own mother's narcissism and can say with certainty that they were the result of abandonment as well as physical and emotional neglect starting at a young age, but expectations from a patriarchal society were not really factors for her. The abuse that I suffered from her stemmed from a need on her part to absolutely control everything in her environment, to include very thoughts and feelings of her family members, along with a fear of abandonment that resulted in her trying to emotionally hobble her children so we would always have to depend on her.
Again, I won't say that the article is wrong, and I'm glad that it helped you so much, but would like to make sure that everyone is aware that "patriarchy" isn't the only source of narcissistic abuse by a mother to her daughter.
I agree that narcissism is created by a trauma that can affect men or women and isn't necessarily from patriarchy. The main reason I linked to that is it does help with healing and reframing. The big takeaway from that article and others of hers is that it's our responsibility and opportunity to heal generational trauma and not pass it on to others -- maybe even inspire others to end their inherited generational trauma. We end that legacy of pain by healing ourselves independent of those who have hurt us most. We don't need their permission to rise.
Covert narcs are some of the hardest to cope with, especially because usually no one else sees how toxic they are.
Thanks for your comment.I read it as soon as I got to this video,even before watching it.What you say really resonates with my life so now I´m going to watch this video! May you find your way to shine in all our power and recover from narcissist bombs! Big Hug.
I no longer binge watch, but here I am watching this. I will never forget to be on the look out. My life is a lot better now!!!
Same here. Think I'm pretty much healed.. thank God!!
I finally went no contact yesterday. I needed this. Thank you.
Good for you...
Am so proud of you. No turning back, absolutely
How are you doing now 2 years later?
Hi where are you now ?
It's so good to finally be told the 'truth', but so hard to understand and believe that people can be that way. Frankly I need a lot of reminders therefore the binge watch. They put me back onto path of sanity!
No one understands unless they’ve been through this. No one...
I literally cried when I learned about narcissism and scapegoating. I thought to myself, after 36 years, someone finally gets it, someone finally is validating what I’ve been through. I spent my entire life thinking there was something wrong with me. I finally found out what happened and why things were the way they were
This is me right now. Binge watching while trying to psyche myself up for another day with a narc boss. Thank you.
Grey rock him as much as possible while looking for another job.
My best wishes
Gaslighting took away everything from me and watching these videos provided me with the validation that I needed. Self education is a part of who I am and I learned a lot watching these videos. AND I FEEL LESS ALONE.
My reasons too... when my cognitive dissonance sneaks in I listen to them... I have come a long way in one year...thanks to all of you wonderful people...
I spent a whole year right here on you tube.. I've finally got myself out amongst people...I'm still very apprehensive about trusting..but I will get that back soon enough.😊
Cognitive dissonance is the phrase I keep hearing.. What exactly does t mean though??
Sam Miller When you have 2 conflicting thoughts to deal with... one is the truth and one is what the Narcissist wants you to think... for example... he tells you he loves you.... but abuses you...your mind believes his words because you want that to be true... we stay through the abuse because of that reason...if that does not make it clear...there are a lot of you tubes on the subject....it's also known as mind fuckery.
Paula I was in similar place and after learning about narcissism with binge watching I ended up with a new best friend who has good boundaries and is fully thoughtful towards me and it gives me real hope I can finally find a romance that isn't a shit pile ..healing somewhat and adding nontoxic people your life really can happen .
"The puzzle pieces not fitting together" is a good analogy. You know that something is amiss, but you can't quite piece it together. The narc channels give you the missing link. In my case, I knew I was being abused in the FOO and was aware that my narcissistically abusive family members' gaslighting and crazy making behaviors were psychological ploys designed to sabotage and undermine me. I always had a good sense of right and wrong and knew that their lies and betrayals were a travesty and miscarriage of justice. The narcissism forums and platforms help you through the discovery and exploratory phases of NPD and give you that measure of comparison with other survivors as well as the strength to extricate oneself from the abuse. Like you said, it's a stepping stone to get from one place to another on the healing journey. I don't binge watch anymore. Do you still find yourself watching occasionally?
Just whip smart. Do you realize how healthy you look. An inspiration. Congrats on a good guy. Remember being metaphorically crushed laying on the floor looking up ? Anyone can do this upswing in life. No excuses for not seeing self worth. Never ever look back & never go back !
I"ve been out now for a year and a half, and yes, I binge watched vids on Narcissism! I even watched Knowing the Narcissist..a first hand account of how they act from a Narcissist. I felt so validated in watching these channels, including yours Michelle.
I am glad of your achievements.
For my part, I was told in childhood I had to sacrifice myself. I remember it very well and the fear involved with it, coming from a Catholic family, I could see myself nailed to a cross. So, I don't punish myself with that; it wasn't volunteering to be abused. My life script was written by my abusers. Now, re-writting my own life script is my job for the present and future but not the responsibility of being brainwashed as a girl.
It's honestly because I want to prove to myself that I am not crazy.
Because we finally feel validated and it helped to hear others go through the same SHIT we have
My gosh my ex has the kids right now and hearing them come back spouting the non-reality brings me back to RUclips constantly and it's been 2 years.
Stephanie H. Been 10 years for me... my child is 12 now! ✌️ hang in there!!
Stephanie H.
Save ur kids....iam in the same boat but can't escape.
Stephanie H. They will do that. They will talk about you to the children and paint a picture of a crazy, bad person. Because this is exactly what they are.
After a couple of years of being gaslighted my kids are back with me now. Laughing and playing. You are much stronger than you know.
I gave up my then 8 year old son to be with her. 13 years later I have to give up on our 7 year old daughter..
Exactly 1 year ago, I discovered your channel. 2 months later, I escaped my abusive relationship with a narcissist. Not only did u help save my life, but u helped put things in perspective which allowed a 💡 moment! You are a Blessing to myself and a few friends. And yes, after the relationship ended, I discovered that I had a narcissistic parent as well, and THAT blew my mind. But I'm healing. ♥
Yes, yes, yes to everything. Going through all this.
Thank you for normalizing my obsession for watching narcissistic videos. I've been out of the relationship for quite sometime and am beginning to experience flashbacks. Moments of clarity occur spontaneously, these are aha moments. Abuse of this magnitude is unfathomable for many. It malign hoovers, luckily these occasional attacks have become further spaced apart. It has a new target and feels the need to leave bloodcurdling messages of how I do not measure up. Of course it did that to the previous target using me. Abuse of this nature is cyclical.
I think it happens to many of us. I think is ok if you don't get stuck on them and avoid listening videos about personal growth in order to know yourself and make changes like setting boundaries and knowing yourself better.
I binge watch because no matter how much I learn about narcissism I can't wrap my brain around why they are this way. Six years in this relationship has been absolute torture and yet I'm still here. This evil is so hard to make sense of.
Narcissist are EVERYWHERE!!! That one really gets me!!! So true.
I thought I was obsessed and I just saw narcissists everywhere the first months. Now, after 3 years of no contact and learning about the topic I know they are everywhere and is no joke or paranoia.
Keep safe 🍀
I binge watch and it helps me too getting through these early no contact days. Thank you so much.
im binging rn on this channel as well as a few others. i was discarded on Friday and it is still super fresh, confusing and painful. 3 years of trying so, so, so hard to be a "good girl" and accepting the fact that to have happiness i have to say "okay sounds good" to everything he wanted just came to a screeching halt. he has discarded me before but i definitely believe this was the final one. i made it very clear to him i never want to see his face or hear his voice ever again. i know I'm lucky it was 3 years, no marriage, no children... i can't imagine what decades of this, married to it and have babies with it, would have felt like... thank you Michelle for your help xoxo
Taylor Lynn Hansen hi. I think im going thru this.
Heidi Bender 🙏❤️ you are not alone
@@AngieRival has hd tried to contact you? I'm going on a month today.
At first I looked online and read everything I could. At the beginning it was unbelievable to me that this actually happened to me. Then I read about people who know about this. I read books, then I discovered You Tube videos and I found a wealth of knowledge and abused sisters/brothers. People who I could relate to, people who understood me, I looked back and saw from the moment I met him, how pleasantly surprised a great empath just fell in his lap. He was all smiles, asking all the questions, trying to get to know me. It was textbook, but at that time I didn't see it. Even after the discard, I did not want to believe it. Over the last 3 years, I look at the videos and every once and then I learn something new. Keep working on it, one day that light bulb will go on, just be ready to make that move and go forward and don't look back. It will happen for some sooner, for others later. You cannot give up. Michelle is amazing.
Grace Wright once it clicks, sinks in and you actually realise and more importantly accept the cold hard unworkable fact that these beings cannot feel, give or reciprocate LOVE in any way (as Empaths know) then you will realise that loving them is a waste of time and life. If there was a dog knocked down by the roadside you’d stay and help it (because you love) but if you saw a dead rotting crow at the roadside you’d drive on (no point) These evil people are dead crows - we couldn’t make them alive if we tried the rest of our lives.
Let go of something that will always be dead and always die and spend your life loving someone alive inside and that will give you back what you deserve. It’s tough but Gods pruning is to ensure we blossom 🦋🌸
Binge watching your videos right now because they're keeping me grounded and sane.
I really appreciate this video. It’s been five months since ending my covert narcissist relationship of three years. I binged watched for about three months until I felt like I was getting tired of focusing my energy so much on my past partner and what I had gone through. So, I started binge watching self development videos and I shifted my focus to improving me. The challenge since then for me has been that I have struggled with romanticizing my past partners positive traits, as brought up in these self improvement videos and questioning myself and my decision to leave and the possibility of getting back together if I better learn and live these self improvement principals. Sometimes I think to myself, maybe I should have been more patient, more loving, less attached and less reactive when my ex-partner was experiencing narcissistic injury and I literally have to remind myself that I don’t want to be treated the negative ways that I was treated by anyone at any time, regardless of the root cause. So now I find myself binge watching a mix of both narcissistic recovery and self improvement videos, which helps me to recall what I don’t want, the narcissist, and what I do want, a healthier me.
Learning about the experience of others is also a helpful way to learn about toxic relationships in your own life. I love the playlist entitled subscribers stories, it’s a playlist for those that have sent in recordings of conversations with narcissists-hearing those conversations can be so eye opening and can help us evaluate how WE are handling things in our own life. Here is the link for that playlist. ruclips.net/p/PLR8GUKQqcfzkbKlUMQVeE3lVCQQXlJCYA
And if you enjoy true story dramas or memoirs you have to read the book Dating Harley Quinn which is the almost unbelievable story of one male subscribers emotional rollercoaster ride that left him homeless, suicidal and with brain damage...you won’t be able to put it down once you start reading it!! payhip.com/b/a31b
From Surviving To Thriving!! Hi sweetie your knowledge is so precise and soothing without anger ,there are too many narcs in open society,do you know why they took little Sham off videos .
Hi Michelee,
I'm wife of such a person for whom I've completely devoted my life for the past 24 years. I left my parents, my religion and lived all these years for his happiness. Now I realise that I'm with a person who use me for his and his family's happiness. Now i realized, he's even brain washed my son who's 23 years old. He's also against me now. Never complained and was earning for the family with least personal expenses for myself.
Now i see what all you say is what I'm living with! I want to leave the relationship at the earliest at this age of 45, realising I'll have to face a more tougher time tomorrow how they'll treat me once I'm jobless or sick!
I agree with all 10 reasons and have found them to be all the reasons why I did it and still do watch them from time to time. You catch every angle. I really like that!
I binge watch for the continuous validation. It feels so good to finally have someone on your side.
The one thing that has kept me going forward is knowing that I'm not alone. I am mind-boggled at how many millions of them there really are out there destroying good people, and children's lives. It's so sad.
Yup. It’s like you read my mind... I was binge watching narc videos so much recently. Seeing accurate colors now for the first time, I didn’t realize the world was so colorful!! ☺️✨💞✨
I love you child. You have been so much help. I want to read "I miss me and I want me back". I will. You are an angel or a genius. Thank you
Ha, I've been binge watching for a couple of weeks. 17 year relationship with a total narcissist just ended with a sudden and cold discard. I gave her everything I had and bam. Got home from work, laid down for a 20 minute nap. I woke up to her standing over me saying that she was leaving and never coming back. With a grin on her face! Like a whirlwind, she left on a Saturday and moved all of her things out by the next wednsday. I went no contact from the start and it's been 3 weeks. I'm feeling better thanks to these videos. I began looking into this a couple of years ago based on some actions of hers and a weird stare accompanied with a grin she'd give me. When I think back now, I'm just creeped out by it. She dropped me just when my business was going good and during a time I was helping my friend through his own break up. I was provided absolutely no closure.
Wisdom and Beauty, the world needs more Women like this.
Learning about what I grew up with and then married has taken me to a place of understanding. Also a huge amount of validation. I am starting to know who I am and what I went through. This has made such a difference to my healing and recovery. Identification has played such an important role. I am so grateful for all the input and all the information. It has made my life so much more manageable
Bronwyn Tanner for some reason identification was the key for me too.
Yes, I binge watched all the narc video's to understand my ordeal.
I NEEDED to hear this! I had no idea I was the only one who binge watched these videos. I agree with ALL these reasons. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for "getting it."
When I watch your videos all I do is cry and cry. I lived with a narcissist for three years who not only psychically abusive but emotionally. He made me think I was crazy and he never validated me. He devalued me with everyone. And the worst part all his friends and family are also narcissistic. After I finally left him I realized other people in my life were narcissistic. Your videos explain the thinking pattern of these evil people. I had a really good friend who started validating me and saying that he worked with my ex and his friends who admired they were untrustworthy and just like him. My friend told me that my ex was feeling horrible around me to put me down because I was intelligent and he couldn't get away with his plans of destroying me for his own power.
This video is probably THE best of all your videos. I felt like you're talking to me! I admit I binge watch a lot of videos regarding narcissism and borderline personality disorder and the like. The more I learned about these disorders the more I felt good. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it why.
And then you bring up point after point and I go aha aha... exactly!
Binge watching and understanding personality disorders better gave, and is, giving me peace. I distanced myself from certain people that always left me with a strange feeling-low feeling after meeting them. I revisited relationships past and was able to pinpoint what went wrong. Or why I was upset at certain things. And most of all, like you pointed out, it was them - not me! All these years of soul searching and thinking I should've done this or that seem laughable.. These people put the thoughts in my head.
I'm forever thankful to you and similar channels that take the time to help other victims (oh yeah, I never thought I was that... That's another benefit..)
I haven't stopped watching these for a week now. Everytime I feel like my world is crashing down around me I calm myself listening to you.
Great video, I was thinking about this the other day. It’s been 6 months for me and I would watch all day everyday and night. I don’t watch as often but if I see a title that catches my attention I will watch
The VALIDATION and others finally understanding and relating is the best feeling in the world! Like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.
Unbelievably validating!!! 💪🏻👊🏻👊🏻
I needed to continue watching because I needed a continual reminder... Even though I had watched videos and had a better understanding.... I needed to keep watching in order to maintain resolve... to remind myself why at some point I would have to get out and stay out .
Another great video! I have reduced the amount of videos that I watch but still do watch. Sometimes I want to backside into having hope and faith that she will change, that I can save her. I watch these videos to remind me of the truth. Michelle your videos have help me immensely!
1) abuse amnesia - that resonates!
2) thank you for making so much sense
Another homerun video, Michelle! Thanks! I have found that as I make continued progress, my need to binge watch narc vids has gone way down. But that took over a year. I appreciate your communicating very effectively without all the expletives some use.
OMG! This is spot on Michele....your videos have truely empowered me...thank you
😂 my dad stopped by unannounced the other day, the first thing he said was “something HAS to change..” I thought he meant himself and my mom 😂 nope, he meant ME! 🤦♀️🙅🏻♀️
Virgo 11 They will always say that you or someone else has to change. Never them. And that is a clear sign that they are narcissists.
So, this was because you are taking positives steps forward and sticking to it; he sees that and doesn't like it?
I overheard my father talking to my husband about me that I am crazy and he’s worried about me and when I’m going to change for good and blah blah blah... At the same time my husband was getting his supply. Shame on both the narcissist.
@@1230aaish are you still married to him?
MWEUSI MREMBO sadly yes 😞
I absolutely concur with every point! And I'll add a #11 for those of us who have children with the narc... to get ideas of how to help our children overcome the abuse, & not become little narcissists like their other parent. I love your videos, Michelle! Thank you (and several others) for bringing me back to sanity, and hopefully soon, my children too!
You are sooooo talented
I totally agree with the binge watching! I have been watching videos from a few different RUclipsrs and all of a sudden I felt so refreahed and like my eyes are wide open to what I had went through! It was an amazing feeling! Keep up the great work, Michele! 😀💜
All these reasons make complete sense to me. Thanks for another great video Michele 😏
It’s true...no one gets it, even people who are currently in their own abusive relationship, because of their cognitive dissonance. That leaves, like, literally no one. It’s so lonely. These videos help so much.
This is TOTALLY ME! I’ve been binge watching for the last 7 days. While in the SILENT TREATMENT mode I’ve been trying to help myself understand what has been happening the last 12 years of my life. Now I’m learning what armor is effective against that and trying to practice for when the battle begins. You are TOTALLY AMAZING! thank you from the bottom of my heart ♥️
To finally understand that all those years there was nothing wrong with me, I'm not crazy and yes to know I'm not alone and also to keep learning to try to stay or avoid a future relationship with a narcissist!!! To also heal, to become a better me, to love myself!!! Thank you for all you do in making these videos and the time it takes to do so, much respect!!!!
Omgosh this is so me! I am totally binge watching now...i cannot get over spot on these are. I have doubts that maybe its me. But i watch these videos again and i realize its not me. I get scared that people, specifically my family, wont understand and that o am just being "sensitive."
Man, did yr ex-narc dip out losing you. Yr lovely and smart. Every time I get sucked back in, I take a dose of yr experience and wisdom, it sets me on track again.
Love the frog analogy. Perfect!
Thank you for making overcoming videos, I've spent the last 7 months listening to every narcissist video every 12 hour shift I work, and it is about time for me to go to the next step, differentiating my anger from resentment, and changing my internal thought pathways to rediscover who I am.
I am learning so much and realizing that what I believed about my ex was confirmed and that it really was abuse. I am now at a new stage of healing bc of this
You are so talented to describe details of emotions that we all went trough after narcissistic abuse that it really helps to see the truth! Thank you Michelle🙏
Hello amazing people! I would love if some of the adults, or at least people bigger than me here can give me some advice, if that's not too much to ask.
But, first of all, I want to thank Michelle for making this kind of videos and help so many people who went/are going through what she went through. You are a wonderful person I can't be thankful enough for discovering. Also thanks to anyone who takes a few minutes from their time to answer me.
I am 14 years old and I have just discovered that my mother is a narcissist. I read hundreds of articles and watched even more videos and I have now convinced myself, because I couldn't believe it. I live in a country where this type of behaviour is considered "disciplinary" and "just a little bit strict" and because of that I thought it wasn't possible. I am grateful because I consider myself lucky, because a video about narcissism popped up in my recommendations so I learned about this at a younger age than most people (and probably I am one of the few ones who now about this here) and I have a little bit of an attention deficit (which my mom is obviously ignoring). Don't get me wrong, I know attention deficit is bad, but I think it was the thing that kept my very emotional self breaking down at the awful words my mother is throwing at me since I was a child. I couldn't concentrate or remember properly everything she would say, and even so I would get moments when, (I didn't realise what I was doing and who I was confronting and I thought it was my loving mother) I told her to kill me and beat me up (at 6 years old!) Or told her that she acts like she's my adoptive mother (even though I think I insulted every adoptive mother ever). I think the fact that I am naturally a very bold and truthful person helped me get through everything and it still is. This helped mostly when she would compare me to my dad (who was physically abusive and whom my mom divorced, I also think he was the reason she became a narcissist) and I would always speak in my head: "I don't think I am like him at all! Why does she say that?" This after analysing myself a million times.
Other members of my family weren't this lucky and this makes me tear up.
I am talking about my grandmother. I live with her and my mother and they are arguing every minute of the day. She has been so badly influenced by a woman whom she adopted when no one would've, I can't even put it in words. When I tried explaining her all the things I have learned, in the simplest words I could she would tell me she can't and she doesn't know how to cope with her.
My question is, how do I help my grandmother?
Thank you so very much!
10 Reasons-
1) Hearing Reality (after a long period of living in unreality)
2) Calculative and Purposeful Nature of Narcissists is to Hurt You
3) Validation
4) Keeping Yourself Strong (not to get abuse amnesia)
5) Makes you feel less alone
6) Need to make sure it was not you
7) To gather strength from others narratives
8) Begin to see Red Flags in others- friends, workplaces, etc
9) It helps you put together your life, the puzzles make sense
Clarity of Mind
10) Support Group between Survivors
Love you Michelle, you’re an angel
I just posted about this last week on another narc. abuse channel :) Great topic!
I'm totally binge watching narcissist videos.
Yours especially Michelle.
My reason is I need to be reminded what my fry pan to the head moment has happened many times.
And to get my inner self healing.
I also started to believe that I am the narcissist.
This has helped me see my truth.
And help me how to respond and not react.
How to protect my dignity and respect ..
So many words can't describe how I am feeling right now.
And definitely to help me stay strong.
Thank you for your hard work.
I went through a binge phase when I first started learning about how narcissism has been affecting my life. In the beginning, every video gave me brand new insight into my experience and I needed more and more answers to my questions. After a while, it becomes, ironically, a monotonous stream of “narcissists do this... and this.... and that.... and definitely this too...”.
There comes a point where you’re going to plateau in your ability to understand your experience with narcissists. Once you stop getting that flow of answers, you revert to feeling helpless against the unknowns of your experience. Nobody on youtube is talking about your personal story and it becomes important for you to answer those questions on your own.
Once you know a friend/family member is narcissistic, it becomes hard to understand how you should interpret their actions and ideas. And you’ll spend years watching other people tell you what THEY did to get better, knowing it’s not advice for YOU, but in general.
You binge because so long as youre the one watching, these videos are talking to YOU. You are the focal point, the information is just for you and your experience. Once you begin to address your narcissistic issues outside of youtube, you realize how ALONE you are still, so you cling to watching others feel also alone with you.
Trust: at a certain point, stop craving these videos. Start wanting to hear your own thoughts on the matter instead of someone “reputable” who “knows” your problems. In order to free yourself from the narcissist, you have to stop looking to others to tell you how to proceed. Eventually your life will be in your hands only and YOU will have to become the only narcissist you listen to and value as such.
Once you realize your own ideas are more important/reliable to you than those from youtube, you can finally rely on yourself regardless of others. And THAT is the true freedom from narcissism. You’re not learning how to escape one or two specific people, you’re learning how to be your own narcissist for you. Go with it. It’s part of owning your future. Don’t forget to go back to being focused on yourself and things you like, instead of the people in your life that hurt you.
Good luck to everyone, it’s hard.
Great job Michele. Every time you mentioned a reason, I shouted YES!! That is exactly how I feel. I cannot explain enough how good it feels to know someone understands.
😢 all ur videos resonate with me. I have just realized that after 18 yrs living with my husband...... I realize he’s a narcissist.
Thank you for your videos! I was with a narcissistic woman for 30 years and married to her for 22 years. We are divorcing. I started to a lot of the things that you have described in your videos without knowing what I was doing was slowly stopping the way I was feeding into her games. It’s taken a long time to begin to recover. But your videos have been a great deal of help. Thank you again.
Been stuck and need to get unstuck. Its been 5 months and can't stop binge watching. For me it was refreshing that I know what it is just devastated that he is a narcisist . 15 years 2 kids just like you Michele.
Thank you for making this video. This subject is rarely talked about, and your bravery to do so is much appreciated. I resonate with 100% of what you said. I binge watched for almost a year, but have zero regrets or shame for doing so. I truly believe these videos are the ONLY reason I was able to recover at all. Really...the comments more than the actual video. There is absolutely no way to grasp this unless you have lived it, and even then its a lot to take in. I no longer binge watch, but I do keep up with a few channels and watch new videos. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER when it comes to narcissists, and there is always more to learn and share.
i just went no contact a week ago the videos have helped me tremendously in helping me see that what I’m feeling is okay... and they’re helping me explain to my mom why I’m feeling what I’m feeling and what I’m really dealing with... it’s easy to say just walk away I wouldn’t be going through this if there was another way... your videos have helped me a TON... thank you 🖤
I can't believe how relatable this is. I feel like I'm finally seeing the light. "Is there really such validation for me?!" Thank you so much @From Surviving To Thriving!!
Your videos have been the source for my binge watching and the hook the has lifted me from the abyss. Thank you!!! 😊😊😊
When I start to "miss" the narc, I'll watch a video or two. It's been a long road, questioning everything about myself and coming to terms with the horrid manipulations. Hindsight is 20/20 and almost every action or reaction he exhibited were all narcissistic. It was so hard to believe myself over him. And now that I've finally seen him clearly, he's almost laughable. And when you see just how delusional they are, you realize THIS cannot be in my life. The second guessing gets better with time but because of the mind control I'm constantly having to put it back in it's place. The more I build on me, the less I second guess. Learning just how strong I am. Thanks, Michele, you truly are doing great and wonderful things to help us through one of the absolute worst things that can happen to someone. Having your sense of self completely obliterated and then the unimaginable strength it takes to recover is a journey I would not wish on anyone. But here we are! And we can do it!
This video is huge encouragement. Everything you said resonates with me. I married last December. I knew nothing of narcissists. I just filed for divorce. From the beginning of marriage I started watching RUclips because I just couldn't rap my head around the conflict in our relationship. Binge watching now is confirming I'm doing what is best for me and I'm not crazy. Thank you so much for sharing! ❤
Yes! Becoming aware of it, affirming it exists, hearing that other people have gone through it, and for me, I really want to know it, understand it, and avoid it in the future. Those are all reasons I binge watch narcissism videos... So I don't get blind-sided again.
And the crazy thing is, I'm now recognizing it in relationships with family and friends, as well. Being able to name it, and describe it helps so much. I'm sending videos to my daughter non-stop too. She's becoming aware but still struggling to stay away from her narcissist. I'm trying to help her see what's going on with her. And I'm also confessing that's it's happened to me, as well. She's not alone, and healing and personal transformation are in order.
Nice to see that we're not the only ones Michele....LOL. I'd gone months not watching then I came back for some refreshers as I noticed I was falling back into emotional flashbacks again. It is infuriating to say the least, especially when you don't catch them fast enough and they chew up days of time as you calm yourself down and try to figure out what's setting you off. I hadn't caught a bunch of videos of yours that I've watched this weekend. Thanks for putting them up there. About first not beating the crap out of myself and second to realize that my own brain has been trying to finish the job I started probably 10 years ago now. I think what's setting me off most is just having any interactions with my remaining parent, my dad. I will periodically catch myself falling into telling myself that I should try to help him, or do this or that, only to occasionally wake the hell up to realize what he truly is. I bloody narc..... just like my mom. You have to keep fighting with yourself to realize that a person you once idolized as a child is 1000% unworthy of such adoration (since that's all they freaking seek anyway, basically worship) and that they're in fact a weak monster that only has interest in you so far as how they might try to figure out how to hurt or maim you emotionally. I think. few people call it "radical acceptance".... and I find that when I start to feel like I might actually an okay person is when I've properly put that into play. Or most simply put, I don't give a shit any more because there isn't a damn thing to do to change their sorry ass. That must be encouraging to see your daughter wise up to such things that put us all through so much hurt. You're teaching her well and sparing her much pain in her life as she matures. Nice to hear that being done. Thanks again for this video.
Amen! Love this! It's all so true! And I'm totally thrilled to find out that after ALL these DECADES, that I'm just a HSP! Now, my whole life is making sense!
nice to know im not crazy and alone out here.. 10 yr relationship and 5 yrs of isolation before I found the strength to make a stand and say no more to her. after a year and half im healing slowly and making changes for my children ... your channel has helped change my life for the better thank you🙂
You have been a great help, Michelle. Thank you so much!
I grew up with narcissistic parents. All of my relationships with men have been narcissistic situation. I am 75 years old and I’m still feeling all the effects. Your videos are really helping me
Thank you Michele for explaining this abuse in a way easy for others to understand. Your content is spot on and I am so grateful you share it with the world to help others.
Sounds pretty accurate to me. One of the reasons I like your videos is because you have lived through it and I can see that you are better. You are like a light that I can focus on and I can see that there must be an end to this madness.
Thank you for posting these videos and all of the other things you do.
Thank you Michelle. You've been very comforting. Your joy and courage as an overcomer is a path foreward we don't see when in the diagnosis phase.
Yes. Theses types of videos has helped me heal alot faster than I thought. They actually gave me strength that when my narcissist saw that I was not torn he was angry.
Michele you are light in the darkness and yes I've been watching your channel and others for a while. Thank you for your time and enlightenment.
Ryan
Yes. Everything you've mentioned. Also the severe pain sticking to no contact and being broken and confused just wanting so bad to heal & make sense of things when you can't and have to find closure on your own bc you couldn't trust narcs words & don't even know what was real or mask. I want to watch these to keep reminding myself when I feel the cognitive dissonance, knowing I always start doubting myself and feeling like i could've made things right.. when I know the outcome has always been the same, toxic. I've been through a lot, have felt deep pain throughout life but I don't know if I've ever felt pain and confusion this bad and felt this destroyed. Thank tho for making these videos which validate us who are trying to understand what happened and survive ❤
Exactly what I been doing after finding out I have a narcissist mother and a narcissist friend. I watch your videos and narcology unscripted and I have learned so much from these videos. Knowledge is power.
As the ESCAPED Goat in a loving FAMILY that didn't ever love me its sad there isnt a health related class required by junior high...
Thank you so so much for these videos Michelle. I’ve been binge watching for 4 weeks to keep my strength up. I nearly got sucked back in and was going back as I’m still seeing past why my wife does what she does . I lost my temper this morning on FaceTime and it’s put me back into protection mode . If it wasn’t for these videos I’d be back there trying to work things out and wondering why . My nature is to try be saintly and work through this and help my wife but I’m not there and can explode myself with frustration. She gave me excuses today for abusing me for 7 hours on our wedding night just because I needed some sleep , she used it wasn’t the day she perceived in her head and her family weren’t there because she is foreign , 7 hours of constant abuse, shouting, getting drunker, ringing people etc on our wedding night . Because I get frustrated I shout back and try make her see how much it hurt me and then I’m the abusive one . I feel like screaming. I was sick on our wedding night and just needed an hours sleep to recharge as I’m ill . It’s crazy madness and without your videos I’d be dead. I’m a recovering alcoholic of 5 years so I’m some ways understand this addiction but I’d still be confused . I thank you from the bottom of my heart because i have not 1 person I can talk too and have spotted some very dangerous patterns in friends / family also. So it’s a bit lonely at the moment . I’m lucky enough to be at my brothers house but I’m also helping him through his own breakup !!!! I’m watching everyone of your videos, your work is truly amazing and I am soooo grateful ❤️❤️❤️
Michele I just want to say, thank you for all of your videos. They are so informative and have helped me come to the light. You are helping so many people. THANK YOU! May God bless you always. ♥️
6 years and binging, but in all fairness just found out about these vids. Also repressed a lot to focus on school and work and the repression hit me all at once like a bus.
Your eyes are so angelic. Your videos are very informative. Keep spreading knowledge.
Thank you!
There may be other reasons well. For me it is to find out why I fell for a narcissist in the first place.
You are helping so many people finally break free from abusive relationships. thank you.