@@angelkisses8580 yea, some percent like between 20 and 30 percent can't pee while other people are around, its an instinctive vulnerable thing, like if someone's there can't piss because all of our vision is faced forward and our brain is being overly alert
Dude on the handshake thing, it’s all about how you feel towards the guy in combination with the setting. I’m a straight black dude from the south & handshakes/daps are everything! Lol -1st Any and all formal setting greetings need to be firm strong and crisp. Professional. This exhibits your leadership, poise, and grounded posture. Just maintain the grip with good eye contact until u feel his grip loosen, but anything over 3 full seconds gets either awkward or macho/ego. (Some men take extended handshakes as a subconscious sign of challenging their manhood/alpha. This is usually done in a playful context). -2nd if it’s your friend (or someone u would consider cool) dap him up with the homie connect. Grip, slide, close. Other dudes add a snap afterwards, bro hug/tuck, elbow touch, fake punch, etc. But just keep shit simple with the good ol grip slide & lock. -3rd is when you’re not in a formal setting, but the dude isn’t necessarily your friend yet either. In this situation, just give him the old fist pound. If u revert back to greeting 1 here, you’re perceived as square stiff or uptight. If u revert to greeting 2, you’ll be subconsciously labeled as too friendly (weaker). However if y’all become cool after said meeting/function, you can then depart with the grip slide lock without any perceived connotations, and this will be the new standard for future greetings. I know it’s a lot to take in bro lol, but guys usually develop this interaction (and all it’s intricacies) around the puberty age. Came to your channel trying to educate myself more about trans people after watching a Trevor Noah vid on the Daily Show. I’m hella ignorant on a lot of LGBQT+ issues and didn’t wanna sound like a boomer being raised conservative. Good luck dude, hope this helps! 🤙🏾
Idk how im just now seeing this haha i appreciate the insight. It makes a lot of sense. I dont think anyone REALLY has it down though 😂 its just a go with the flow dont think about it too much kinda thing. Im glad you found my vid man! Cheers 🤘
My Ol' man said you nailed it, he was finishing the sentences as I was reading your comment outloud...outlook... guess it's a real thing like a guy code I never would have noticed but will forever notice now.
Thanks for the info. This type of s*** makes me feel like I'll never be able to fit in because I already missed too much time growing up when I should have been learning all this stuff. That's why I don't go out and just stay home with my cats
The handshake part: That’s where you act like the alpha dog and take over the situation. Make up a complex handshake with a buddy & act like they should know it. It’s hilarious. 😆 You’re awesome, bud! Thanks again!
@@ColtonRyals I think you need a good minimalist masculine watch , i've got a Bauhaus watch for you in mind ( its from germany) . It adds some Je ne sais quoi to a handshake , you'll feel more more like you are wearing a formal weapon. Because if you happen to be "off-code" when you are greeting that watch will erase everything like psshhhh , psssshuuuu pshsshuuuu !!
Buying alcohol before your documents have been changed is super awkward. I'll be read as male up until the point the cashier is checking my ID. Their reactions have been all over the place.
As a man I never use a urinal... I just freeze up if someone stands along side me....just kick the bog door open with your foot and flush it thing with your foot...they'll never suss
I’ve experience that lol. I went to Walgreens to pick up my T for the first time and the lady at the counter is like “Your testosterone is ready” semi loudly. N I’m just like damn you don’t have to announce it to the whole town.
So after years of forcing femininity, and then a couple of being nonbinary, I've finally accepted I'm trans (FtM) and uhm. I have no idea what to do, who to talk to, where to begin with this whole thing. So I've just been watching all kinds of videos. I've noticed way less FtM videos than MtF, and most of the FtM ones are old. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough. Either way, thank you for this. It may seem small, but it's not to someone who worries about everything under the sun
I hear you brother. Theres not too much out there. I myself was searching youtube for answers, its tough to not only find trans videos, but to find a trans person you connect with and relate to. Im glad you can get something out of my vids 🤘Thats why i do it my man. Lemme know if you have any other questions. Id be more than happy to help.
@@racheldevito Of course, being trans is a completely separate part of who you are than femininity/masculinity the people you're drawn to. You're totally valid in how you identify man, don't pay any unnecessary attention to the people who try and say there's only one way to be trans.
@Zelma Morgan yes! And I am only 24, I thought I was too old because most people you see doing things now are kids. But you're never too old to be who you are and embrace that. I deserve to be happy. I'm not dead yet and neither are you. You can have surgeries still, and you can go on hormones still.
I’m a pansexual cis male and i hug my straight male friends until they ask me not to just because that’s what comes naturally to me and if they are fine with it I’m going to do it. I can’t think of a single friend that doesn’t appreciate my hugs
Another super awkward thing that not every trans dude has to deal with: I'm bilingual (first-generation American) and my second language is gendered. I didn't even realize I was using the female version of words until my my grandma pulled me aside and was like "dude". I just about died when I realized and died every time I accidentally misspoke! Side note: DUDE it took me years to relearn to greet family members. So many awkward moments with uncles and shit. They immediately switched to handshakes instead of hugs, but didn't say anything. It was just a silent switch. Thank god it's automatic for me now.
Pro Tip for my FTM homies: getting hit in the balls always has DELAYED pain! You know it's GONNA hurt but the pain doesn't register for a solid 10 seconds. Then you crumple over. So if you get hit and you wanna act, don't worry about reacting too quickly, just prepare for it as if you, well, just got hit in the balls.
Dude don't worry about the hormone replacement therapy. I'm on HRT for a different reason, because of chemicals I was exposed to at work for 12 years. Anyone who finds out about it is a good thing IMO because sometimes people have questions about hormones and nobody to ask. It's good to normalize stuff I think. Especially if you are well educated about the topic. And frankly I think people on needle juice all the time like we are should be their own advocate as far as understanding labwork and what's going on in our bodies. Cheers.
About the handshake greeting thing or whatever, it does change every time and I figured it out in high school mostly. You go by whatever kind of hand and posture they present you. For example open palm and body angled the right way, they probably want the twist and hug haha. My solution? Just be the first to offer the greeting and make it clear. Present a fist bump before anyone can do anything and you won't have to hug anyone ever again. Fuck hugging strangers.
I relate so much with the handshake thing. I'm barely an adult (I'm 18) so I don't have a job where you shake hands with people or anything like that but I've had a few situations where other men have initiated a handshake or some sort and I just did the wrong one. I was at a hotel once and there was a bunch of people and there was a ping pong tournament and I'm pretty good at ping pong, and everyone who played before me was either terrible or a little kid so I went in very confidently and I played this guy and he was way better and beat me within a few minutes and at the end I stuck out my hand for a normal handshake and he stuck out his hand for a bro handshake and our hands just sorta hit each other and then I think he moved into a normal handshake since thats what I was doing but it was so awkward haha. another time I met up with a friend who knew me before I transitioned and I've never really been a hugger so I didn't really hug him before but I wasn't sure how to greet him and he initiated the bro handshake and I was like yo this is true acceptance right here.
Haha yeah i feel it. The “shake” gets better in time. I think im just thinking too much about it so its in my head. Once i get past not thinking or being aware of it, it will become second nature.
I'm really thankful the algorithm brought me here. You're very engaging, loved this video. Now as a cis man, an awkward one, I can tell you that handshakes go with your vibe, don't look around for other men's handshake, set your own and let them know what yours is. I'm a regular handshake guy, to old and young people... So don't give it too much thought. Also, I'm really sorry you have to go through things like that just listening to your stories I couldn't help but get a bit anxious thinking about it. But on the flipside, I'm really glad you're on your own journey, feeling like yourself and showing it to the world.
Cis masc-of-center gay man here - the handshakes/daps are always confusing because people from different communities, cultures, regions of the country, age groups all do it differently! I work in social services and I can tell you that the doctor's office/pharmacy issues are direct HIPAA violations and you can complain (privately) if you choose to. I'm sorry that people are that callous and disrespectful. Unless they're cruising the men's room men don't usually care what you do in the stall or how long you're in there. Life is a lot to navigate but hope that it gets sorted and you can live your best life, man!
just go for the traditional, but FIRM handshake. i too never understood when and how to do the bro shake. i am gay but everyone thinks im straight until i tell them. i get the handshake situation when im with mostly younger guys. i look and study when they shake with each other and it looks different every time to me. sometimes i attempt and end up getting half way thru....its awkward. BTW you do look good
As a man I'd love to help you out regarding any manly phoibles you're struggling with.great content.i find the whole lgbt thing very interesting and have been following the growth of this group of people for many years.
handshakes are according to how well you know the person. a²+b²=c² A. how you're interacting with the person B. how close that person is to you based off your feelings C. the handshake combo that firms or loosens in lingering according to custom and how long you want the opp to touch you
One of the best things about COVID is that shaking hands went away! I wish it would stay away. It is really gross if you think about it. Let's just do the Asian bow, it is very respectful and there is no touching!
Haha the handshake one 💯💯💯💯 but I started to not give a fuck after the years and now it’s normal - and I have met sooo many cis dudes confused about this as well sometimes 😂
The handshakes man!! I’m in the same boat as you. And then once i had been dooing the same handshake with this dude and then one day he was like “what is that supposed to be? You think im a gangster?” and didnt remember that’s what he had always done. Meaning: 1) he never thought about it 2) the handshake changes back and forth even in the exact same situation. Then how are we supposed to learn it?? Im seriously giving up on it 😂
Hi, i'm a trans woman and I was just curious about trans mens experiences lol, also you're really handsome! Gave you a follow, keep being awesome, bro!
Lol, with the first one, I went to my girlfriends house and me and their brother played fake sword fighting, he hit me in the private region and I was like “ahh dude that hurts owww” but it didn’t even hurt😂😂
Love this video, you are totally a man. There is no rule on hand shakes, I struggled with this as a teen too. If anything, who ever initiates the 'greeting' gets to decide, and you just have to try keep up. You've probably realized that there's can be a lot of posturing for dominance in cis-het-male relationships. I you don't know the handshake, you can just say sorry I don't know that one. (If you're lucky they'll teach you.)
Colton Just came across your videos I found them very interesting. To be honest with you I never knew what FTM was hey I have learnt something today thank you
1000% Colton. The handshake part is definitely something young kids learn. It stresses me out. I’m 6 years on and I’m stuck trying to figure it out. I usually do a fist bump ( it’s more sanitary and the most simple) 😌
Oh man I feel you. I went to use the bathroom at school a few weeks back, going into a stall as always, and this dude starts talking to his buddy about how much of a legend I was for being brave enough to shit at school lmfao. I was like 'nah bro, I'm just trans', and he's like 'oh huh'. And another issue I personally have is walking. I tend to just force myself into walking with a fuckton of swagger because I have no clue how to make myself walk in a masculine way. Shit sucks lmao
Yeah I hate all of this stuff and this is why I don't have guy friends. I don't want to tell them I'm trans but it's too much f****** work and it's too stressful to try to hide it
That is so wrong. No one at the pharmacy yells out 'we have your diabetes meds and anti depressant ' when I pick up my prescriptions. Hate that that happens to you. It's so unnecessary.
I have never been to a pharmacy that has said outloud my prescription? Like it's always just my name and date birth and address then they give me the predecided stuff and leave
for the bathroom, you could use the family bathroom if thats an option, no one will really care- im a trans guy and i still look pretty feminine, so i use that bathroom if the place doesnt have it, i hold it
The A with a twisty mixed in with a quick bro hug my guy. Honestly I don't fucking know either lol thats just my go to and I try to initiate so I don't have to guess because yeah everyone is all over the place haha
in cases of handshakes. maybe be the one that decides the handshake. like be the first to hold out the fist to bump. hold out the hand in a normal handshake position. or the hand out but not slightly downward tilted (like a handshake) so you can do the twisty + chestbump. alsow fistbumps are the standart for non buisness stuff. handshakes for buisness stuff. twisty + chestbump for best mates. hope this helped
Talk about other awkward situations like Being at the beach or a pool. - to me is super uncomfortable to take out my shirt, even though I have surgery, but I have scars. Being with a large group of people that don't know you're trans and have a weekend trip in which you have to share bathroom. Being with cis guys that are super machos and talk about women so disrespectfully. - If they talk like that about a friend I always stand up. But I feel uncomfortable with dudes like that. I see them like childs trying to fit in the male stereotype that our parents/family shows us. Sometimes feel sorry for them lol. There's a lot of cis/trans men that are more empathetic and evolved, like those. But I have to say I'm not that extra open minded, have to work on that. I'm very heteronormed (even hate the word) and I like it, but I try to be empathetic with people I don't understand or avoid awkward conversations and situations
Hahaha about the toilet thing, yeah, is uncomfortable, I even try to pee quietly so they don't know I'm peeing sitting down, the good thing is when I pee I usually sht too so, everything fine. Part2
Something awkward I deal with is when I'm talking with a stranger or coworker and they are trying to clock me. I'm passing, but by the way they're looking at me I can tell their starting to wonder lol. They'll do this thing where they'll keep eye contact with me like normal, but then keep stealing quick glances at my chest. I could be wearing like 3 binders (I don't do that btw) and be flat as a board and they would still be searching. It's awkward too because I don't want to call them out on it and inadvertently bring up the obvious or have them get bold enough to question me on it. I just let it happen and pretend like everything is fine. :(
I feel you on that. I used to hyper analyze everyone around me thinking they were looking or talking about me…most of the time i was just in my own head lol i think paranoia sets in sometimes and its hard to escape that 🤷♂️
I've become very touch sensitive since transitioning a mere brush on the arm by someone might send me into panic mode because you just never know if someone will clock you
I'm cis male. How did I end up here? I don't know. The other day I ended up in Mayotte, a French department in the Indian Ocean. Thanks RUclips+ADHD. But about how to figure out handshakes. I'm going to be honest, I also never know. You just have to "feel" the energy of the other guy and bro him back. But half of the time I give awkward handshakes because sometimes I like my own personal space or whatever. I wish I was born in Japan where guys just bow down and smile as they step back blinking a lot.
Omg i love this comment 😂 i always wonder how certain people find my videos lol I appreciate ya. And yes i agree, bowing down would be absolutely perfect
Dude, that beard ain't even kidding. Yeah, the first time my pharmacy said my RX out loud in front of everbody. At this clinic they all KNEW what I was there for HIV meds. I chewed out the staff and then reported them to the stat regulatory office. Just because they think everyone is supposed to be cool with it now does not mean anyone has the right to know. Hey, don't worry too much about the handshakes. As a man I always hated it even as a child and would stare at them like they are insane and unsanitary. It takes them a second and then they retract and assume you are phobic and or noticed them forget to wash their mits after leaving the restroom. You are a better looking dude than I ever dated. Congrats and enjoy life.
Im also ftm but the culture i come from men don’t pee standing up nor do we have urinals so im like.. always using that excuse as to why I don’t use a urinal when peeing.
My ol man said it depends but if your close twistys and one arm hugs are how you greet. If your friends depends on what race they are If white on white its similar to family or how you would greet a close friend even if your just meeting, If Mexican its a slide hand clap then dap if black usually a dap but if you don't know eachother well...elbow dap.
Hi friend. Cis man here. If I may answer some of your questions, I will say you are overthinking which leads to your anxiety. I’m not a touchy dude, men just read each other’s energy. Also, you don’t have to “react” to being hit per se. Depends how and where you’re hit. If we accidentally hit a guy there we’d apologize anyway and if he says nah you’re good it means you didn’t hit the twins and we drop it. Just say you’re okay and laugh and all men will think is “whew glad I didn’t hit him in the balls” lmao. Don’t think too much, I would have never even known dude. Thanks for sharing this video :)
No sweat over the "Your testosterone is ready for pickup" bit. I'm a natural born, God made man, but developed low T and now on replacement therapy. Was told by my nurse practitioner that beaucoup men are on the same regimen. Unprofessional for such an announcement to be made by the pharmacy tech, but it's happened to me, and I'm sure other guys as well. If I was present at the pharmacy and heard something similar, I'd just assume the other guy and I shared the same experience. Don't give it a second thought. Guarantee ya', other guys wouldn’t. Look at it as affirmation of being a man.
Thx for sharing the handshake thing! I have the same problem, and your right, it ALWAYS changes. Ive simply concluded it's on a person by person basis. Until this video, I just thought I was super awkward or the only person with this problem. Not trans, I'm gnc, very bro-ish with guys tho, I don't usually hug unless we're close.
The first one I never thought of. I don’t like packing so I’m always out in public wondering if people look at me and be like….why does that guy not have a bulge?!? Like I wear men’s jeans lol I have a friend who is also a trans man and he told me once you start packing at work you have to pack everyday otherwise people will probally be like confused because all of a sudden you are flat down there and it will be weird 😂 Also I have a friend who works as a nurse and she says that saying what someone is taking, at a pharmacy or when there are people in line behind you at the hospital is a hippa violation. I’m so glad I go to a trans specific clinic. I guess having IBD I get an easy pass. Usually I just tell people I’m having a flare up and they know immediately why I need a stall. But in reality I just need to pee sometimes.
Also not knowing if you pass (pre-T anyway). I never know untill I hear someone refer to me with pronouns, which doesn't usually happen while I'm talking to them so there's no way of knowing. I've had situations where I was just living my life, thinking I was passing pretty well and suddenly someone would call me she. Ugh.
Part2 public toilets. If it's in a club or rave I avoid going to the toilet as much as I can. My not so healthy hacks. - I drink very little, just when I'm thirsty - I ask for salt on drinks so I can retain liquids. For raves I think a stp is the best but is so uncomfortable, I personally hate packing with things that are bulky, only if I have tight jeans/pants I pack and literally is like a suck.
Dealt with the crotch thing today. Forgot to react. Oh well. One thing I’ve noticed is that there’s less aggression from other males. Guys will do anything to avoid a fist fight. As a woman I was threatened much more. Also physically assaulted. Now, guys back away and try and avoid heated confrontation.
You don’t have to react though? It depends where and how you’re hit. I’ve ran into desks no issue but I’ve also dropped my phone in my lap and thought I’d pass out from the pain 😂
Colton, we need to get you a trusted wingman who can watch your back when you have to use the bathroom at the bar! 😕 Also, beard game on point! As a guy who can’t really grow one (genetics), I’m a bit jealous. 😏
I don't think I would use a urinal even if I was a cis man, it's just... nah, I can't pee if I don't have enough privacy. I didn't realise it's actually that big of a deal for some people
@@MIDOGALI so you know every man in the world then ok if you say so trans people are different from cis people we have to be cautious every day and it's a little hard to aim in a urinal if you don't have a penis plus there the cis people trying to inspect our bodies and determine weather or not we're "man enough"
Ive met many women who mastered the art of peeing standing up. I'm hearing that the most awkward thing about being a trans man, is not telling your inner circle that your trans.
In France, we have "la bise" (you reach someone's cheek with yours, mimic a kiss noise and then do the same with the other cheek) and I've always hated that. Women do this to man and women. But 2 men handshake. And when you are missgendered, it can become very humiliating. I can't wait for this tradition to cease existing.
Social media, so fucking awkward. I was starting a new job this year, and nobody knew I was trans, I’m early in my transition but I guess I passed very well, as a very young dude, but a dude nonetheless. And my coworkers were like “oh, let’s follow each other in every social platform there is”. And I had to make up that I had erased social media for a while, because I had trans stuff (like my journey and things like that), and I had to go private on all of them so they couldn’t see anything if they looked me up. Now that I’m not working there anymore, I’m more relaxed with that, but if I start another job, I’m going to create new accounts.
Nicolás Botello yes! I remember dealing with that 🙄 i went thru all my social medias and deleted everything with my birth name connected. It took a while haha
I see this is a couple of years old. I’d love to see if you have any updates to your experiences? As a cis male I never use the urinal. If there is not a stall I’m not going. lol
Hand shake is one of the few things that give me gender euphoria. Initiate it, hand the fist they'll bump it quick discrete and *masc* 💪 (don't cringe you know what I mean) Sometimes affirmation high fives can be tricky but that's normal and where I'm from it's different in every city. Observe other people. Also don't be shy about it lean into it with confidence the other person will adapt/follow your movement (guaranteed) If it get's awkward people usually explain "oh I do it this way" both share an awkward laugh that's that 🤷 happens amongst cis men all the time. They'll literally explain to eachother how they liked to do it don't stress you're good! Good luck
Some men pee sitting down some are pee shy. Most men dont care what other men do in the stall.
Factores
wait rlly?
@@angelkisses8580 yea, some percent like between 20 and 30 percent can't pee while other people are around, its an instinctive vulnerable thing, like if someone's there can't piss because all of our vision is faced forward and our brain is being overly alert
Prolly cause it’s small
Yeah colton is overthinking it too much. That happens when you try too hard. Guys are simple.
Dude on the handshake thing, it’s all about how you feel towards the guy in combination with the setting. I’m a straight black dude from the south & handshakes/daps are everything! Lol
-1st Any and all formal setting greetings need to be firm strong and crisp. Professional. This exhibits your leadership, poise, and grounded posture. Just maintain the grip with good eye contact until u feel his grip loosen, but anything over 3 full seconds gets either awkward or macho/ego. (Some men take extended handshakes as a subconscious sign of challenging their manhood/alpha. This is usually done in a playful context).
-2nd if it’s your friend (or someone u would consider cool) dap him up with the homie connect. Grip, slide, close. Other dudes add a snap afterwards, bro hug/tuck, elbow touch, fake punch, etc. But just keep shit simple with the good ol grip slide & lock.
-3rd is when you’re not in a formal setting, but the dude isn’t necessarily your friend yet either. In this situation, just give him the old fist pound. If u revert back to greeting 1 here, you’re perceived as square stiff or uptight. If u revert to greeting 2, you’ll be subconsciously labeled as too friendly (weaker). However if y’all become cool after said meeting/function, you can then depart with the grip slide lock without any perceived connotations, and this will be the new standard for future greetings.
I know it’s a lot to take in bro lol, but guys usually develop this interaction (and all it’s intricacies) around the puberty age. Came to your channel trying to educate myself more about trans people after watching a Trevor Noah vid on the Daily Show. I’m hella ignorant on a lot of LGBQT+ issues and didn’t wanna sound like a boomer being raised conservative. Good luck dude, hope this helps! 🤙🏾
Holy fuck so funny so true
Idk how im just now seeing this haha i appreciate the insight. It makes a lot of sense. I dont think anyone REALLY has it down though 😂 its just a go with the flow dont think about it too much kinda thing.
Im glad you found my vid man! Cheers 🤘
My Ol' man said you nailed it, he was finishing the sentences as I was reading your comment outloud...outlook... guess it's a real thing like a guy code I never would have noticed but will forever notice now.
Thank you 🙏 you’re amazing, really appreciated your explanations, extremely detailed 🙏👌
Thanks for the info. This type of s*** makes me feel like I'll never be able to fit in because I already missed too much time growing up when I should have been learning all this stuff. That's why I don't go out and just stay home with my cats
The handshake part: That’s where you act like the alpha dog and take over the situation. Make up a complex handshake with a buddy & act like they should know it. It’s hilarious. 😆 You’re awesome, bud! Thanks again!
Haha i like that. Yeah its all about confidence
Wait … WTF!!? If you get hit in the vagina it hurts too!!? Especially if they get you in the clit?!??!!!
Yes!! The handshake 😂 I never know either. I guess take control of the handshake, be in control! Have the other guy walk away feeling confused 😂
@@ColtonRyals I think you need a good minimalist masculine watch , i've got a Bauhaus watch for you in mind ( its from germany) . It adds some Je ne sais quoi to a handshake , you'll feel more more like you are wearing a formal weapon. Because if you happen to be "off-code" when you are greeting that watch will erase everything like psshhhh , psssshuuuu pshsshuuuu !!
@@PHlophe haha i love that! I’ll have to check it out 🤝
Buying alcohol before your documents have been changed is super awkward. I'll be read as male up until the point the cashier is checking my ID. Their reactions have been all over the place.
Handshake thing had me laughing. I like the way you talked about it
Thanks beech! 😎
You skin it and pound it. That's the only way.
As a man I never use a urinal... I just freeze up if someone stands along side me....just kick the bog door open with your foot and flush it thing with your foot...they'll never suss
I’m 14, I’ve been pepper sprayed multiple times by woman and beat up by men just because I wanted to use the bathroom…. I just hold it now🤣
LMAOOO Oh shit, let my man piss in peace you cant have a break
I’ve experience that lol. I went to Walgreens to pick up my T for the first time and the lady at the counter is like “Your testosterone is ready” semi loudly. N I’m just like damn you don’t have to announce it to the whole town.
🤦♂️ people are so unaware of the world around them lol
@@ColtonRyals As a Black person , i'd say "Whew Chiiiiiile ! "
Oh no
So after years of forcing femininity, and then a couple of being nonbinary, I've finally accepted I'm trans (FtM) and uhm. I have no idea what to do, who to talk to, where to begin with this whole thing. So I've just been watching all kinds of videos. I've noticed way less FtM videos than MtF, and most of the FtM ones are old. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough. Either way, thank you for this. It may seem small, but it's not to someone who worries about everything under the sun
I hear you brother. Theres not too much out there. I myself was searching youtube for answers, its tough to not only find trans videos, but to find a trans person you connect with and relate to. Im glad you can get something out of my vids 🤘Thats why i do it my man. Lemme know if you have any other questions. Id be more than happy to help.
Ayo I’m almost 18 and 7 months on t if you have any questions ask away
@@adammarie6521 im not the commenter but can I still be a trans guy if I'm feminine and have lots of girl friends (there's a space there)
@@racheldevito Of course, being trans is a completely separate part of who you are than femininity/masculinity the people you're drawn to. You're totally valid in how you identify man, don't pay any unnecessary attention to the people who try and say there's only one way to be trans.
@Zelma Morgan yes! And I am only 24, I thought I was too old because most people you see doing things now are kids. But you're never too old to be who you are and embrace that. I deserve to be happy. I'm not dead yet and neither are you. You can have surgeries still, and you can go on hormones still.
This makes me feel like I'm not alone in this world thanks 😏
I’m a pansexual cis male and i hug my straight male friends until they ask me not to just because that’s what comes naturally to me and if they are fine with it I’m going to do it. I can’t think of a single friend that doesn’t appreciate my hugs
Another super awkward thing that not every trans dude has to deal with: I'm bilingual (first-generation American) and my second language is gendered. I didn't even realize I was using the female version of words until my my grandma pulled me aside and was like "dude". I just about died when I realized and died every time I accidentally misspoke!
Side note: DUDE it took me years to relearn to greet family members. So many awkward moments with uncles and shit. They immediately switched to handshakes instead of hugs, but didn't say anything. It was just a silent switch. Thank god it's automatic for me now.
Just curious, can I ask what your second language is? (Language nerd here)
Pro Tip for my FTM homies: getting hit in the balls always has DELAYED pain! You know it's GONNA hurt but the pain doesn't register for a solid 10 seconds. Then you crumple over. So if you get hit and you wanna act, don't worry about reacting too quickly, just prepare for it as if you, well, just got hit in the balls.
Me as a trans man: I RELATE TO ALL AND THIS DROWNS ME IN ✨ HAPPINESS ✨
One step at a time, mate you'll be fine. you can't learn everything overnight .
Dude don't worry about the hormone replacement therapy. I'm on HRT for a different reason, because of chemicals I was exposed to at work for 12 years. Anyone who finds out about it is a good thing IMO because sometimes people have questions about hormones and nobody to ask. It's good to normalize stuff I think. Especially if you are well educated about the topic. And frankly I think people on needle juice all the time like we are should be their own advocate as far as understanding labwork and what's going on in our bodies. Cheers.
Great Now I've got to add the f****** handshake to my list of things to have anxiety about 😆
About the handshake greeting thing or whatever, it does change every time and I figured it out in high school mostly. You go by whatever kind of hand and posture they present you. For example open palm and body angled the right way, they probably want the twist and hug haha. My solution? Just be the first to offer the greeting and make it clear. Present a fist bump before anyone can do anything and you won't have to hug anyone ever again. Fuck hugging strangers.
The handshake part is freaking hilarious! Thanks for being so candid! I learned a lot. Appreciate ya!
firs t lookin at ur post i couldn't help but see 'handsome' on handshake... ha!
I relate so much with the handshake thing. I'm barely an adult (I'm 18) so I don't have a job where you shake hands with people or anything like that but I've had a few situations where other men have initiated a handshake or some sort and I just did the wrong one. I was at a hotel once and there was a bunch of people and there was a ping pong tournament and I'm pretty good at ping pong, and everyone who played before me was either terrible or a little kid so I went in very confidently and I played this guy and he was way better and beat me within a few minutes and at the end I stuck out my hand for a normal handshake and he stuck out his hand for a bro handshake and our hands just sorta hit each other and then I think he moved into a normal handshake since thats what I was doing but it was so awkward haha. another time I met up with a friend who knew me before I transitioned and I've never really been a hugger so I didn't really hug him before but I wasn't sure how to greet him and he initiated the bro handshake and I was like yo this is true acceptance right here.
Haha yeah i feel it. The “shake” gets better in time. I think im just thinking too much about it so its in my head. Once i get past not thinking or being aware of it, it will become second nature.
I'm really thankful the algorithm brought me here. You're very engaging, loved this video.
Now as a cis man, an awkward one, I can tell you that handshakes go with your vibe, don't look around for other men's handshake, set your own and let them know what yours is. I'm a regular handshake guy, to old and young people... So don't give it too much thought.
Also, I'm really sorry you have to go through things like that just listening to your stories I couldn't help but get a bit anxious thinking about it. But on the flipside, I'm really glad you're on your own journey, feeling like yourself and showing it to the world.
Very informative. I always wondered about the bathroom situation
Cis masc-of-center gay man here - the handshakes/daps are always confusing because people from different communities, cultures, regions of the country, age groups all do it differently! I work in social services and I can tell you that the doctor's office/pharmacy issues are direct HIPAA violations and you can complain (privately) if you choose to. I'm sorry that people are that callous and disrespectful. Unless they're cruising the men's room men don't usually care what you do in the stall or how long you're in there. Life is a lot to navigate but hope that it gets sorted and you can live your best life, man!
just the aye with the twisty? 😂🤣 same
just go for the traditional, but FIRM handshake. i too never understood when and how to do the bro shake. i am gay but everyone thinks im straight until i tell them. i get the handshake situation when im with mostly younger guys. i look and study when they shake with each other and it looks different every time to me. sometimes i attempt and end up getting half way thru....its awkward. BTW you do look good
This makes me glad that I only had guy friends growing up I got all the hand shakes down in middle school 😂
As a man I'd love to help you out regarding any manly phoibles you're struggling with.great content.i find the whole lgbt thing very interesting and have been following the growth of this group of people for many years.
handshakes are according to how well you know the person. a²+b²=c² A. how you're interacting with the person B. how close that person is to you based off your feelings C. the handshake combo that firms or loosens in lingering according to custom and how long you want the opp to touch you
One of the best things about COVID is that shaking hands went away! I wish it would stay away. It is really gross if you think about it. Let's just do the Asian bow, it is very respectful and there is no touching!
Haha the handshake one 💯💯💯💯 but I started to not give a fuck after the years and now it’s normal - and I have met sooo many cis dudes confused about this as well sometimes 😂
Omg, I watched your coming out video years ago. I was 10 or 11, thanks for giving me a little more confidence back then.
Thanks for being an O.G 😎🤘
How does it make you feel, really, that you have to act like you have balls? Does that obligation to perform get tedious?
The handshakes man!! I’m in the same boat as you. And then once i had been dooing the same handshake with this dude and then one day he was like “what is that supposed to be? You think im a gangster?” and didnt remember that’s what he had always done. Meaning: 1) he never thought about it 2) the handshake changes back and forth even in the exact same situation. Then how are we supposed to learn it?? Im seriously giving up on it 😂
This is hilarious 😂 yeah the handshake is a weird one lol
Hi, i'm a trans woman and I was just curious about trans mens experiences lol, also you're really handsome! Gave you a follow, keep being awesome, bro!
Lol, with the first one, I went to my girlfriends house and me and their brother played fake sword fighting, he hit me in the private region and I was like “ahh dude that hurts owww” but it didn’t even hurt😂😂
Once I transitioned using bro, brother, or boss greetings like that weird and had to get use to them.
Bad ass beard bro!
Love this video, you are totally a man.
There is no rule on hand shakes, I struggled with this as a teen too. If anything, who ever initiates the 'greeting' gets to decide, and you just have to try keep up. You've probably realized that there's can be a lot of posturing for dominance in cis-het-male relationships.
I you don't know the handshake, you can just say sorry I don't know that one. (If you're lucky they'll teach you.)
"Is it just Aye with a twisty" I diiiiied lol. Thx for sharing
Colton Just came across your videos I found them very interesting. To be honest with you I never knew what FTM was hey I have learnt something today thank you
Bro, I'm so jealous of that beard. I've been on t for 4.5 years and I don't have anything close to that
The harshness of reality, especially the reality that sex can't be changed, should be at the top of the list.
Huh? Lol
1000% Colton. The handshake part is definitely something young kids learn. It stresses me out. I’m 6 years on and I’m stuck trying to figure it out. I usually do a fist bump ( it’s more sanitary and the most simple) 😌
haha thank you for sharing. i find it interesting transitioning the opposite way. what a cool life we get to live
Oh man I feel you. I went to use the bathroom at school a few weeks back, going into a stall as always, and this dude starts talking to his buddy about how much of a legend I was for being brave enough to shit at school lmfao. I was like 'nah bro, I'm just trans', and he's like 'oh huh'.
And another issue I personally have is walking. I tend to just force myself into walking with a fuckton of swagger because I have no clue how to make myself walk in a masculine way. Shit sucks lmao
Yeah I hate all of this stuff and this is why I don't have guy friends. I don't want to tell them I'm trans but it's too much f****** work and it's too stressful to try to hide it
That is so wrong. No one at the pharmacy yells out 'we have your diabetes meds and anti depressant ' when I pick up my prescriptions. Hate that that happens to you. It's so unnecessary.
Lmao the handshake part is funny as fuck. I have no idea either.
I have never been to a pharmacy that has said outloud my prescription? Like it's always just my name and date birth and address then they give me the predecided stuff and leave
for the bathroom, you could use the family bathroom if thats an option, no one will really care- im a trans guy and i still look pretty feminine, so i use that bathroom if the place doesnt have it, i hold it
Going to the mensroom is awkward but seeing guy friends or family is just a simple hello or what's up.
The A with a twisty mixed in with a quick bro hug my guy. Honestly I don't fucking know either lol thats just my go to and I try to initiate so I don't have to guess because yeah everyone is all over the place haha
Last one I can’t relate because I always been told around men you don’t ever each other ever.
in cases of handshakes. maybe be the one that decides the handshake.
like be the first to hold out the fist to bump. hold out the hand in a normal handshake position. or the hand out but not slightly downward tilted (like a handshake) so you can do the twisty + chestbump.
alsow fistbumps are the standart for non buisness stuff. handshakes for buisness stuff. twisty + chestbump for best mates.
hope this helped
THE HANDSHAKE- I CAN RELATE, HOW THE FUCK DO THEY DO IT
Talk about other awkward situations like
Being at the beach or a pool.
- to me is super uncomfortable to take out my shirt, even though I have surgery, but I have scars.
Being with a large group of people that don't know you're trans and have a weekend trip in which you have to share bathroom.
Being with cis guys that are super machos and talk about women so disrespectfully.
- If they talk like that about a friend I always stand up. But I feel uncomfortable with dudes like that. I see them like childs trying to fit in the male stereotype that our parents/family shows us.
Sometimes feel sorry for them lol.
There's a lot of cis/trans men that are more empathetic and evolved, like those. But I have to say I'm not that extra open minded, have to work on that. I'm very heteronormed (even hate the word) and I like it, but I try to be empathetic with people I don't understand or avoid awkward conversations and situations
Hahaha about the toilet thing, yeah, is uncomfortable, I even try to pee quietly so they don't know I'm peeing sitting down, the good thing is when I pee I usually sht too so, everything fine. Part2
Something awkward I deal with is when I'm talking with a stranger or coworker and they are trying to clock me. I'm passing, but by the way they're looking at me I can tell their starting to wonder lol. They'll do this thing where they'll keep eye contact with me like normal, but then keep stealing quick glances at my chest. I could be wearing like 3 binders (I don't do that btw) and be flat as a board and they would still be searching. It's awkward too because I don't want to call them out on it and inadvertently bring up the obvious or have them get bold enough to question me on it. I just let it happen and pretend like everything is fine. :(
I feel you on that. I used to hyper analyze everyone around me thinking they were looking or talking about me…most of the time i was just in my own head lol i think paranoia sets in sometimes and its hard to escape that 🤷♂️
I've become very touch sensitive since transitioning a mere brush on the arm by someone might send me into panic mode because you just never know if someone will clock you
I'm cis male. How did I end up here? I don't know. The other day I ended up in Mayotte, a French department in the Indian Ocean. Thanks RUclips+ADHD. But about how to figure out handshakes. I'm going to be honest, I also never know. You just have to "feel" the energy of the other guy and bro him back. But half of the time I give awkward handshakes because sometimes I like my own personal space or whatever. I wish I was born in Japan where guys just bow down and smile as they step back blinking a lot.
Omg i love this comment 😂 i always wonder how certain people find my videos lol I appreciate ya. And yes i agree, bowing down would be absolutely perfect
My man has an absolutely fantastic beard holy shit
Dude, that beard ain't even kidding. Yeah, the first time my pharmacy said my RX out loud in front of everbody. At this clinic they all KNEW what I was there for HIV meds. I chewed out the staff and then reported them to the stat regulatory office. Just because they think everyone is supposed to be cool with it now does not mean anyone has the right to know. Hey, don't worry too much about the handshakes. As a man I always hated it even as a child and would stare at them like they are insane and unsanitary. It takes them a second and then they retract and assume you are phobic and or noticed them forget to wash their mits after leaving the restroom. You are a better looking dude than I ever dated. Congrats and enjoy life.
I appreciate you! Thanks for the nice comment. Cheers Mate!
Your my new fav RUclipsr. I have bingwatched all your videos
Carter James hell yeah brother! 🤘🤘🕺🥳🤪
Be greatful at least that you don't have to feel the pain. It's one of the worst ones I've experienced 🤢
I have never related more 😂😂😂 I mean not with passing but like moood
haha BIG Mooood!!!
Im also ftm but the culture i come from men don’t pee standing up nor do we have urinals so im like.. always using that excuse as to why I don’t use a urinal when peeing.
Duuuuude I hate picking up my fucking T .
Gotta get a decent STP for when you're out and about and have to piss as a back up
My ol man said it depends but if your close twistys and one arm hugs are how you greet. If your friends depends on what race they are If white on white its similar to family or how you would greet a close friend even if your just meeting, If Mexican its a slide hand clap then dap if black usually a dap but if you don't know eachother well...elbow dap.
Omg I am transfem, but this lit some of the coolest dude energy I have ever seen.
Haha I’ll take that! 😝🕺
Hi friend. Cis man here. If I may answer some of your questions, I will say you are overthinking which leads to your anxiety. I’m not a touchy dude, men just read each other’s energy. Also, you don’t have to “react” to being hit per se. Depends how and where you’re hit. If we accidentally hit a guy there we’d apologize anyway and if he says nah you’re good it means you didn’t hit the twins and we drop it. Just say you’re okay and laugh and all men will think is “whew glad I didn’t hit him in the balls” lmao. Don’t think too much, I would have never even known dude. Thanks for sharing this video :)
I appreciate the insight my dude 🤘
5. The flange.
You could turn this into a comedy routine! As for peeing, have you tried a stand-to-pee (STP) device? There are even some that look real.
Great video, thanks for this 😊
Melanie thanks home slice! 🕺🤘
No sweat over the "Your testosterone is ready for pickup" bit. I'm a natural born, God made man, but developed low T and now on replacement therapy. Was told by my nurse practitioner that beaucoup men are on the same regimen.
Unprofessional for such an announcement to be made by the pharmacy tech, but it's happened to me, and I'm sure other guys as well. If I was present at the pharmacy and heard something similar, I'd just assume the other guy and I shared the same experience.
Don't give it a second thought. Guarantee ya', other guys wouldn’t. Look at it as affirmation of being a man.
Wtf? Pretend to get hit in the balls 😂 why it sucks just be immune
I'm a trans woman and one time at work a plastic flap in a doorway hit me right in the balls and I had to walk it off like it was nothing.
Mate if I was in a queue and the pharmacist mentioned testosterone I would not give it a second thought.
6:58 now i’m calling my handshakes twistys
Thx for sharing the handshake thing! I have the same problem, and your right, it ALWAYS changes. Ive simply concluded it's on a person by person basis. Until this video, I just thought I was super awkward or the only person with this problem. Not trans, I'm gnc, very bro-ish with guys tho, I don't usually hug unless we're close.
The first one I never thought of. I don’t like packing so I’m always out in public wondering if people look at me and be like….why does that guy not have a bulge?!? Like I wear men’s jeans lol
I have a friend who is also a trans man and he told me once you start packing at work you have to pack everyday otherwise people will probally be like confused because all of a sudden you are flat down there and it will be weird 😂
Also I have a friend who works as a nurse and she says that saying what someone is taking, at a pharmacy or when there are people in line behind you at the hospital is a hippa violation. I’m so glad I go to a trans specific clinic.
I guess having IBD I get an easy pass. Usually I just tell people I’m having a flare up and they know immediately why I need a stall. But in reality I just need to pee sometimes.
Also not knowing if you pass (pre-T anyway). I never know untill I hear someone refer to me with pronouns, which doesn't usually happen while I'm talking to them so there's no way of knowing. I've had situations where I was just living my life, thinking I was passing pretty well and suddenly someone would call me she. Ugh.
Part2 public toilets.
If it's in a club or rave I avoid going to the toilet as much as I can.
My not so healthy hacks.
- I drink very little, just when I'm thirsty
- I ask for salt on drinks so I can retain liquids.
For raves I think a stp is the best but is so uncomfortable, I personally hate packing with things that are bulky, only if I have tight jeans/pants I pack and literally is like a suck.
I'm a dude and I pee in the stall, it aint a big deal and if anyone asks about it just say you dont like peein in urinals
Dealt with the crotch thing today. Forgot to react. Oh well. One thing I’ve noticed is that there’s less aggression from other males. Guys will do anything to avoid a fist fight. As a woman I was threatened much more. Also physically assaulted. Now, guys back away and try and avoid heated confrontation.
Hey u just got them balls of steel! Lol 🤘💪
@@ColtonRyals 😂😂😂😂
You don’t have to react though? It depends where and how you’re hit. I’ve ran into desks no issue but I’ve also dropped my phone in my lap and thought I’d pass out from the pain 😂
Colton, we need to get you a trusted wingman who can watch your back when you have to use the bathroom at the bar! 😕
Also, beard game on point! As a guy who can’t really grow one (genetics), I’m a bit jealous. 😏
MyChemicalCrash bro thats exactly what I need! 👏👏👏 lol a bathroom buddy. Also, thanks 😎I got super lucky with the beard gainz
Move to the UK we don’t really do that handshake shit.
“Any society that derives its power and authority from the will of man alone lives apart from God and will crumble in the end.”
I go for a fist bump EVERY TIME! I don't give a bro a choice.
Lmao I love ur videos 🤣 and I do deserve an award for acting ☺️
I don't think I would use a urinal even if I was a cis man, it's just... nah, I can't pee if I don't have enough privacy. I didn't realise it's actually that big of a deal for some people
Urinals don’t have toilet paper to wipe the pee away. Even if its a few drops, Im not an animal
You think that's bad some bars have urine troughs.
If I dont see a stall or all the stall are taken I will literally go into panic mode
Only a woman would ever make a comment like this. No man has ever said such a thing!
@@MIDOGALI so you know every man in the world then ok if you say so trans people are different from cis people we have to be cautious every day and it's a little hard to aim in a urinal if you don't have a penis plus there the cis people trying to inspect our bodies and determine weather or not we're "man enough"
You're awesome
Dude you just taught me shit about being a dude. I thought I knew how to!
Ive met many women who mastered the art of peeing standing up. I'm hearing that the most awkward thing about being a trans man, is not telling your inner circle that your trans.
Over the toilet. And they told you they don't spray the seat? That's hard to believe.
I would have never thought you were trans bruh
Nice vid, cole ☺️
Thanks my dude!
In France, we have "la bise" (you reach someone's cheek with yours, mimic a kiss noise and then do the same with the other cheek) and I've always hated that. Women do this to man and women. But 2 men handshake. And when you are missgendered, it can become very humiliating. I can't wait for this tradition to cease existing.
Yeah that sounds terrible...some traditions are very interesting lol
Social media, so fucking awkward. I was starting a new job this year, and nobody knew I was trans, I’m early in my transition but I guess I passed very well, as a very young dude, but a dude nonetheless. And my coworkers were like “oh, let’s follow each other in every social platform there is”. And I had to make up that I had erased social media for a while, because I had trans stuff (like my journey and things like that), and I had to go private on all of them so they couldn’t see anything if they looked me up. Now that I’m not working there anymore, I’m more relaxed with that, but if I start another job, I’m going to create new accounts.
Nicolás Botello yes! I remember dealing with that 🙄 i went thru all my social medias and deleted everything with my birth name connected. It took a while haha
I see this is a couple of years old. I’d love to see if you have any updates to your experiences? As a cis male I never use the urinal. If there is not a stall I’m not going. lol
The hand shake thing applies to every dude 😂
Notice the pinky
Hand shake is one of the few things that give me gender euphoria.
Initiate it, hand the fist they'll bump it quick discrete and *masc* 💪 (don't cringe you know what I mean)
Sometimes affirmation high fives can be tricky but that's normal and where I'm from it's different in every city. Observe other people.
Also don't be shy about it lean into it with confidence the other person will adapt/follow your movement (guaranteed)
If it get's awkward people usually explain "oh I do it this way" both share an awkward laugh that's that 🤷
happens amongst cis men all the time. They'll literally explain to eachother how they liked to do it don't stress you're good!
Good luck