I quit Amazon after two months
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- Опубликовано: 9 май 2024
- Sharing my story of working at Amazon and being unemployed for over a year.
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0:00 - Intro
0:36 - Back Story
1:25 - Amazon days
4:07 - Mental breakdown
6:59 - How I got better
9:30 - My Advice
#coding #neetcode #python 
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Not trying to bash Amazon or scare people who wanna work there. Just sharing one person's experience.
It's easy to talk about success, but I think you can learn more from failure.
Tks bro
needed this man, Thanks for sharing.
when something or someone which/who is supposed to be with you disappears then you get that sudden emptiness and all of a sudden we lose the connection to reality and get consumed by the void.
Based on your saying and general practice, the best medicine at these times is "diversion" from what leads us into thinking about the past and scenarios which we build into our minds.
Thanks for sharing your personal experience
can you have a chat with the life engineered steve? he is a principal engineer at amazon
One of the worst companies I worked as well, but people have different experiences, good luck
"Team is burnt out so don't ask questions" - certified Amazon classic
this is literally "RUN!!!" phrased differently
Yes the worst place to work!
it makes no senses.... how to adapt into the role when just joining it if NO chances to ask a lot questions?
@@chrisy.703 it could also mean you're "hire to fire", i.e. a person who was hired to fulfill the URA (unregretted attrition) quota
Sound like a new manager. LOL. Not good.
At this point bro is just proving his problem solving skills
😂
Priceless
HAHA.. bro can solve leetcode so well we used it to solve his mental breakdown 😂
But jokes aside.. this is super inspirational and is one more evidence I trust from a somewhat trusted source that you can always get better if you work hard and stay consistent. (Trusted because I can see the evidence from his work in public)
@@JoelSilva-gk4hqyou right man
Thats not funny situation bro, better not make a joke....
Can confirm some of this (not all). I was at Amazon for 6 months, I left to somewhere else that pays 15% less, but I am now 100% happier.
Why did you leave? Why are you happier?
At the end Happiness matters.
Same here
what company did you relocate to may I ask?
Closing in at 4 years at Amazon. I've just accepted that everything is always going to be a tire fire here and I don't let it bother me.
The sooner you get comfortable with tire fires in close proximity the sooner you will be ready to last four years. Well spoken friend.
Which department are you in? Kindle, Alexa, Prime?
As someone who worked at Amazon for 8 years, I can confirm that the culture is very toxic.
My mental health has improved 10x since I left.
Amazing story, thank you.
A technical project manager there said a guy who is an asshole didn't get fired even after 6 months. The guy I know also worked at Microsoft and said that asshole would not last for 3 months at Microsoft.
where did you move to if you don't me asking?
@@skyhappy Being an asshole is how you survive at Amazon. Or by wasting inordinate amounts of time on something trivial and going through weeks of useless doc reviews. There's a reason Amazon doesn't make any profits with half a trillion in revenue.
same is for relaince as well only differnce amazon gives good money rjil doesnt
well they pay like a lot though.
I have never seen someone, someone of your repute, to be so candid about one's dark hours. I think it takes a lot of courage to put it out in public. When I see your videos, I can feel a general sense of honesty in the way you explain stuff. I was not wrong sensing that. You are an honest person, an individual with integrity. The video is also a great, real-life, comeback story. Thanks a bunch for sharing it with us. Respect.
Yeah honestly its very brave to talk about personal circumstances like that, not even sugar coating anything. It makes me empathetic to how vunerable you were.
ThePrimeagen made a similar video, "From Meth to Netflix". Both videos are very brave and I appreciate both people.
I didn’t see the video yet and I thought this was a joke about accepting an offer from Amazon; after seeing it I completely agree. I honestly had no idea he went through something like this and I really appreciate his candidness about his struggles.
💯
One's dark hours this guy is the
furthest thing from suffering. Most people grow up in rougher circumstances then work bullshit jobs till they die broke this guy will be better off than 99 percent of people.
It’s actually crazy how similar your story is to mine. Glad to hear it! You’re not alone with the drug choices, the feelings of insanity and confusion, and how your discipline to work your brain daily somehow eventually made everything okay again, if not better than before.
Hahaha. I quit Amazon after working there for 5 months. Everybody was so burned out, so depressed, and I was on my way there too. Leaving Amazon was one of the best decisions I’ve made for my career and mental health.
Thanks for the warning. I'm struggling with burnout myself and was wondering if I should give Amazon a shot for my second job. Sounds like my answer is "no" now!
I agree with you.... amazon now a days, not a good place to work
glad you're doing better dude and that you left and environment that wasn't healthy. life's too short to deal w stuff like that
thanks Kevin, I really appreciate it
So, how much of this was really about you and/or just the timing of it all? Would this have likely happened at any other moderately-to-more-intensity tech job?
On an somewhat related note, did you ever try microdosing? Since you already had access to acid/mushrooms, it seems like that might have been a worthwhile experiment (unfortunately only from what I've heard). @@NeetCode
Going through somewhat of a similar situation on a smaller scale. I keep reminding myself life is too short to be this stressed/anxious/miserable. it’s my guiding beacon
Two of you should hang out more and more often… @Neetcode and @Kevin.
Didn't expect to see Kevin out of X
I should've quit man, they dragged me to the deepest layers of hell. It's been almost 1 year working at a new place and my colleagues look like angels sent from heaven and I'm finally getting back from the trauma the 6 months at that company gave me.
My man you have no idea how much courage you have given to people in the same boat by speaking about this so openly with your face, you've no idea.
I'm genuinely glad things got better for you! Thank you for sharing.
you mean AMZN?
@@darshandev1754nope its boat 😂😂😂😂😂
What was so particularly stressful about the job? Was it the people or the working schedule or both?
@@devenderbhatt421 😂
I mean I could infer it was amzn but it's in fang so wondering what was do bad
Thanks. I’m a seasoned designer. Almost 30 years, with web development sprinkled in there. The last few years (but especially the last 6 months) I’ve been struggling with anxiety and self doubt. I’ve done so many amazing things in my career but it’s like a switch went off and just doing anything besides checking email, updating apps, and other minor things feels like climbing Mount Everest. On the outside you wouldn’t know it, but it’s been a slow death on the inside.
Your suggestion of biting off little tasks/challenges no matter how small is really what I need. It’s so easy to dismiss but undoubtedly so true.
Thanks for being utterly honest about what you went through. I don’t even know how I found your channel and watched this video for tech reasons but I’m walking away with something much more valuable. Stay blessed and aware of those blessings. ❤
I know that feeling very well as well. designer here also going through a similar path, and the consistent small steps also resonates with me a lot.. it could be just designing or creating something on a daily basis.. One foot in front of another..
then quit. 30 years and you aren't retired? that's the issue. go sit on the beach naked and smoke a blunt. life is good, you're just stuck doing the same thing everyday.
BRO - this video is so inspiring to me, THANK YOU for being so candid about your mental health struggles. Can’t tell you how much it means to hear someone go through a similar struggle.
I almost cried watching this video. I am going through a dark period myself, and watching the person from who I learnt most of what I know of coding, going through a much worse period than I ever did, made me believe in myself so much more. I cannot thank you enough for sharing this.
i did cry actually.
Hey, it gets better. It requires effort but, if you put it in, it will turn around. You got this, I don't know you but i wish you the best in your hard times. Rooting for you
kudos to you for saying this@@swagmuffin9000
++@@swagmuffin9000
Guys who are crying is what's wrong with the world today..guys from the 80's and 90's didn't sit there and bite their pillows at night crying like babies..lol Grow up, damn pussies
I've been unemployed for 8 months following a layoff from Amazon. I needed to see this today, thank you.
u gonna make it
sending virtual hugs and good vibes
You've got this sh*t, and don't you dare start comparing yourself to anyone else.
Good luck bro.
take any job you can just to keep your spirits up. Don't wait for the perfect job! 45k a year is better than 0k a year. That is my advice as an older person. Take the job and keep looking for another one. you don't owe people anything.
Dude thank you for sharing your story with such honesty and vulnerability. That’s a wild origin story and I’m so happy to hear that things are going better for you than you could have imagined before. Amazing work on being brave enough to do the right things for yourself and then following your curiosity and heart in the darkness of uncertainty.
I'm so glad you're feeling better. Dealing with job anxiety is one of the most difficult things I've been dealing with. I've been in the process of looking for roles for 2 years now. The anxiety of my current role is overwhelming but this gave me hope. Thank you for sharing your story
I quit my "high paying" tech job after 13 months after also working my entire life to get such a job. Very similar experience with brain falling apart. Now im neetcoding.
I went to plumbing.
was/is it difficult finding clients and learning a new niche?@@plumbing1
What happened to there to y'all specifically, that made you want to leave after working hard to reach it, if you don't mind someone asking? I'm working towards something similar right now, so I'm curious.
@@Def_Not_Batmantech isn’t as glamorous as those TikTok reels make it seem. It’s actually super draining. Yes you can make decent money, but a lot of tech companies will make sure they’re squeezing every ounce out of you to make that money.
@@Def_Not_Batman I'm still in tech and fortunately in a pretty good spot. Tech work is extremely demanding, but most of the demand comes from shitty bureaucracy and sociopathic executives who know shit about technology. They don't understand the nature of tech and push and demand tech workers beyond human reasoning.
Just know this, don't do tech work to become rich. Do it because you love it and go work for a decent sized company that pays less, but very comfortable wages.
you're a real one neetcode. thank you for sharing a story that a lot of people are afraid to admit they can relate to. keep up the good fight and thank you for carrying new grads for the past few years with your amazing leetcode videos.
There is so much that goes with coming from different family background, then going into a "professional" job. My father was also a drug addict and I was the first college grad on his side of the family. My upbringing left me wholly unprepared for many aspects of professional life, but having grown up in a DV/SA household, I was a lot tougher than most people thought I would be. I also had really pronounced CPTSD, which did not fully emerge until I was already working. I've taken periodic breaks between jobs (every 5-7 years) just to re-integrate with my being. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. It really makes a difference!
I did not expect this to cover an intense acid trip and paranoia episode.
So much respect for sharing this. You’re an inspiration in many ways.
lmao, get some balls
@@scripteaze tf you mean
@@brianevans4975 you’re so emotional calm down go ask your mother for a hug
@@scripteaze 😆 did you feel clever coming up with that?
@@brianevans4975 I don’t know what you’re talking about but if you think I’m clever, thanks
Bro, that's a huge story. Actually, I identified a lot with this. I was an alcohol addict for basically 2 years and had trouble forming a sentence. But I suddenly got into the gym, started working on myself, stopped drinking alcohol, and began to study math. Things fell into place rather quickly, and within a year, I was completely cured of the addiction. Now, I'm 'addicted' to the gym and am getting into really good physical condition. It's amazing how things can change with willpower, and now my journey is to make more money and get good at coding. You are amazing. Stay strong; I'm a huge fan!!!
Last year I had a very similar experience at AWS (used your videos to prepare by the way), worked there for two months and left. At first I thought that it was my fault that I didn't adapt, that I just wasn't a good enough engineer, now I think that leaving was one of the best decision I've made. Congrats for the videos man!
Can u explain ind detail I am cybersecurity student and want to have experience in Aws
Salary has an upper limit, but mental health is priceless.
Of all your videos this will probably bring the most value to the community. I've followed your videos for a while and to think that the calm voice explaining the solutions to those problems back then was going through so much just reaffirms the fact that we're all just human, we all suffer and have our own fights that we wage day in day out. Thanks for showing such strength and sharing this, your community is proud of you and I'm sure this video will help a lot of us realise we're not alone and feeling lost or down is OKAY.
Dude, not gonna lie my first impression of you was someone who's coming from a wealthy family with no problem and that's why you had clean mind when you were solving problems😅. This was so inspiring for me, hopefully everyone could also pass the hard times . Wish you to always stay at your best 💪😊
Same, I'm not proud of it but I definitely stereotyped him based on his skill level and Google job. I'm genuinely surprised we have such a similar story.
👍
I thought the same as well. It’s inspiring and resssuring. I’m in a similar predicament but I’m trying my hardest not to use any drugs (but I do drink from time to time). If Nabi can succeed so can we.
So a leetcoder studied so hard you connect that in your head to victimizing yourself claiming his family comes from wealth? Dumbest shir I've ever heard probably why you've never passed a interview
Wow that story was WILD compared to what I was expecting. What a journey
Your story is inspirational, thank you for opening up! I'm glad you were able to make a comeback like that. Money is important but your mental health is always more important, look after yourself first!
Thank you for sharing this. So much respect for you for fighting through this.
Its amazing how we each have our own struggles & yet there are so many commonilities. Wishing you the best!
They don't want you to quit, because they would rather process you to meet an attrition quota, which they can't do if you leave voluntarily before entered into that program. I had the same anxiety as you in my first year, I thought I would be fired every week until my first promotion, I ended up there for a while, but everything you said resonates with a lot of people trust me.
Can you elaborate what was so bad about working there?
I rode the amazon bus when me and two of my coworkers decided we had enough. So we started hopping a fence and just floating around and swimming in a nearby pool each day for hours on end and would walk into the office for 2-3 hours still in our wet shorts and sandals. I decided to put in my notice at my 1yr anniversary and they said just quit if you don't like it here, see ya! Meanwhile, my coworkers behavior continued until they both got fired and with that Amazon decided to early exercised *all* their RSU's (talking hundreds of thousands of dollars each). When getting fired they didn't want the employees to leave with a "bad taste in their mouth", I couldn't believe it...
Most companies don't want you to quit so early because it is very expensive to hire someone. It's perfectly normal for them to want to retain someone they spent a lot of money putting through interviews, filing hr paperwork and training.
@@coherentpanda7115 Amazon has a quota to put up the lowest 12ish% of people into performance management, to manage out 6%ish annually, determined by arbitrary stack rankings behind closed doors. I worked there for almost a decade. They are a massive company with infinite applicants, the logic you are using doesn't apply. They hire people with promises of big RSUs, but most don't vest for years, so if they manage them out, they don't reach that number, and they save money over what they would have spent on them over 4 years which is why it's not the same.
@@blueskies3336 Amazon uses pressure as leverage, they care about the customer first and foremost, and will behead an employee just for fun if it makes the customer chuckle. Regardless of everything its a good place to grind and grow under the right circumstances, but you have to be fortunate to make a lengthy career there, its not just an equation of hard work. Your mileage may vary depending on org to a degree, but the HR/performance management culture persists across the entire company and sets a certain tone. It is not for everyone. I had good and bad years there.
1. Unrealistic deadlines. This isn't unique to amazon, but the extent of it is unique to them and only a handful of others. Project managers would ask for an estimate on something ambiguous that we had never done before, I'd give a best effort, and they would chop it in half and death march to it, not expecting anyone to hit it, but if you didn't work like a dog towards it anyways it would reflect poorly on you. Rinse and repeat for most projects. People rush services out the door, you have to be ok launching with some duct tape and paperclips leftover, and because of this they have some of the highest ops load of any company. As a SWE you will be oncall here too, which I think is actually a good thing, but due to how deadlines are structured it encourages people to make decisions that will make that oncall responsibility life ruining depending on the team you land on.
2. Bad attitudes. Amazon is stressful, and they care about delivery above all else. They have single-threaded ownership models, meaning that projects are given to people who are largely responsible for them. This creates an environment where people are adversaries as they try to work towards their best interest, sometimes to the detriment of others. People who can deliver are encourage to be a bit sociopathic, and because they delivered, they are more likely to get promoted, as the behavioral portion is irrelevant as long as you can point to leadership principals to cover decision-making. As a result, many people in higher level positions who got there via promotions can be sort of toxic, and these people tend to have longer tenure in orgs and dictate the culture of a team.
3. Inconsistent bar. Amazon's teams hire for themselves, and they create their own question banks even, which leads to no shared bar among the company. Most of the time the room has to reach consensus about a candidate, but technically the hiring manager alone has the final say, which is also problem. The service architecture is complex, everything from the build tools and deployment systems, to production software architecture heinously complex in some instances. You will be working with dependencies downstream, and customers upstream, and you will rely on these teams, they will have a bearing on your capability to deliver new features, and they aren't guaranteed to be smart individuals.
4. Performance management/PIP culture. Amazon hires people with an RSU package (stock promise) that vests over 4 years, but its weighted so you don't get 80% of it until you are beyond the 2 year mark. Average tenure at Amazon in 2021 was around 12-14 months though, there's many reasons for that, but a nontrivial portion is their draconian performance management quotas. Amazon has goals for each director to drive what they call "unregretted attrition" campaigns, where they get rid of a certain number of people per year. They need to begin processing 12-15% of people in each role/level in every org over a certain size, they will put those people on performance improvement plans and expect roughly half of them to fight it, and the other half to leave on their own accord due to the stress/demoralization or accept a severance in exchange for never returning to Amazon or any subsidiary ever again. They need to make 6% of people leave, and these bottom percent of people are decided at meetings behind closed doors where they stack rank employees. Managers are in these meetings fighting over who goes in what bucket, and its really up to a manager to fight for someone, it can be quite arbitrary or come down to whos better at debating. The result of this process not only is that they can manage people out before they get to vest substantial stock, but also it creates an environment at work where everyone is trying not to be the slowest gazelle. I didn't experience this myself, but have heard stories of people being in teams that wouldn't help them that much, because they didn't want to give them an advantage, or saw helping new hires as detracting from their ability to deliver. Again this creates adversarial tension among colleagues.
Hope this helped, I worked there in various systems/software titles for the better part of a decade. I don't regret it, but I think people should know how brutal it can be.
1. Be consistent
2. Never stay down
3. Enjoy what you do (maybe even obsess over it)
4. Be honest with yourself (and a little self-critical)
...would you want to bet against someone like that?
Great wisdom I needed today. Thanks for sharing your story 👏
and do drugs
5. Tip your landlord.
I feel like most people have problems with being /too/ self critical. Just remember to be kind to yourself and don't be afraid to fail. So much easier said than done though.
@@androiduberallesnice
0. eat 5 dosage of acid
Wow that’s an amazing comeback, your channel has literally helped me transform myself from barely beginner level coder to a decent coder who is at least not afraid of Hard problems.
Thanks for your work and you deserve every subscriber you have.
How did you use his channel pls? What videos did you watch? I’m new here and there’s a lot
this is so real man. idk if i’ll ever see you in person maybe just across this screen, but human to human. i’m so proud of you. you sharing this story is so appreciated by all of us. it’s inspiring. we love you and hope the best for you. have a great day :)
Fuck, dude. This is exactly the same story I am having right now, like for real.
After I graduated from cs university in Russia, I managed to raise some money from software engineering, then get a postgraduate degree in artificial intelligence in Canada and then got a job at a local company. But then my whole life has collapsed in like two weeks: I lost a family member, almost all my money and my girlfriend left me, which actually felt the worst.
After that, I got fired from my job for not meeting expectations and I only have like 2 more months to fix things or I will be dropped out to the street for not being able to pay rent.
I started doing leetcode "just because" with following your instructions from your videos and it made such a change to me solving just 1-2 problems a day that now I feel like I can actually make some change.
I cannot thank you enough for sharing that story because now I feel like I'm not alone in all this. Thank you so so much! I wish things will never be bad for you again. Good Luck!
now you have a job?
Wishing you thte best! You can do it
@@akshaya626 Wishing you wellness
I'm sorry man, this is rough. Keep persevering my friend you can get through this!
Удачи друг
Holy shit dude. Hell of a ride you had. Glad you’re doing better now
Thanks for sharing your journey with us Navi. So glad you're feeling so much better now. You are an inspiration :) I just went through a very long bout of illness recently (almost 2 years) and felt like I lost everything, including my body, mind, spirit and will. Trying to heal neurological issues among other things and get life back on track has been the greatest challenge. Your story really touched me. I am back in school for a masters in CS now, without a stem background and the struggle is real... but I keep thinking about helping my family and it keeps me going.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. The after effects you are describing sound like depersonalization-derealization disorder (DPDR). I've struggled through that due to an anxiety related mental breakdown, but for most people it starts after substance use. I hope you are feeling better now.
Great backstory Neet, respect for getting through that 🌹
The very first video of yours that I came across was about how you failed a Google interview. Till now it is still fresh in my memory because never had I seen someone sharing not their success, but their failure...here I am again, learning from your experience of failure, weakneass, and self-rebuilding. I am not exaggerating when I say you are such a inspiration. Notes taken.
This is really cool, I've been going through a similar path of my own as of recently, and seeing people like you come out with their own unflitered subjective experiences just really helps me keep going.
Thanks for sharing! I had trouble getting my first job out of college and felt like an idiot after hearing everyone from my school got a job. I didn't stop grinding leetcode and learning what I didn't know in full stack development. Your videos definitely helped me and I'm now at my second job making more money than I ever thought. I also grew up poor and never had a cell phone until college. I've made dumb mistakes in highschool and college (like not getting a SWE internship or hanging out with people in college that were not the best fit for my SWE career aspirations) but focusing on improving myself little by little was the best thing that helped me get to where I'm at.
Bro this is one story that I was not expecting with the title. I can definitely relate to your story - in ways that I'm not even comfortable sharing on the internet with even my gamertag and a carebear profile picture. But I feel what you said and I've been through something similar. I have people in my real life who know my story - and I think you do as well (such as your family) if you are comfortable talking about it publicly. The advice I would give to you and to someone reading this is simple - the best thing you can do for your mental health is tell someone else what you are going through. The feeling of being alone is gargantuan. As soon as you open up, its like a weight off your shoulders. Just some thoughts. Thanks Neetcode.
Thanks for sharing your story, Navi - really appreciate you being so honest and open about this. Great takeaways at the end of the video, about being consistent, never standing down, and enjoying what you do 💪
Hearing some things related to burnout from you was really validating for me. I recently went through the period of being scared of doing my job, but I somehow got lucky and got out of it after just a few months. It wasn't what I imagined it to be, it was weird. Feeling a better now and actively interviewing, big thanks for your videos!
Dude this video was amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your struggles. It takes so much strength to be able to do this!!
Wow. Neetcode is a legend. Insane amount of vulnerability. Your story resonates a lot with me. Lots of anxiety, doubt, and fear. I hope you are clean and are staying healthy these days. We love you!!!
This means a lot to me man. I literally also took a job right out of college, worked for about 45 days, and then quit because of overwhelming anxiety. I'm doing a second undergraduate degree in computer science now, and I've been watching your videos to practice LeetCode. I sometimes feel down on myself and feel like I'm not smart enough, but knowing that the genius whose content has been helping me had the same challenges? Makes me feel so much less alone and feel like I can achieve great things!
If I could more than like this video I would. I appreciate you, I’m sure we all do. Thank you for this! I felt some of these feelings during my first internship as well.
Thank you for opening up and sharing this. Going through some tough stuff myself and listening to your story really motivated me!
I am glad you are in a happy place right now ❤️ I worked for Amazon Alexa for 10 months for a Data Science team as a researcher, I didn't quit but I was impacted by the layoffs. But during my time there, I felt as if I am developing ADHD. It was very hard to concentrate, things were so ambiguous and fickle, but I was still under the pressure of constantly delivering without even knowing what I am delivering for. Being laid-off sucks, but a part of me was relieved that I was no longer in that environment.
Man, honestly, thank you for uploading this. At least for me, seeing parts of myself in people that I would otherwise just put past as gifted or well-off, kinda just chips away the hopelessness I'd otherwise feel.
That was sooo honest man, all the love to you and everybody who’s going through it
Holy sh** this was hands down amazing!!! Thanks for this! I wish nothing but the best for you bro! 😎 everyone that has been down, should watch this.
I can totally relate because I dropped out from Med School and did bunch of psychedelics. I think people that went hard early in their lives, whether it's studying or sports or whatever, need some time to freshen up when these inevitable mental issues arise.
I'm now an engineer doing your NeetCode course to hopefully get into one of the big techs.
Thanks for sharing your story, it’s always hard to find people talking about the realities of burnout/toxic work environments in Big Tech. Glad you were able to get out of that situation!
Hey Pooja i watch your videos. Thanks for inspiring
Appreciate you sharing this. It takes a lot of courage and glad you were able to find something that got you out of that funk. Keep making great content
I am almost in tears. So inspired by your story. I related to a lot of things you said. It is not often I hear someone in this industry share such real and personal sentiments. Thank you for sharing!
Awesome story man, never would have thought you went through so much but I'm proud to see where you are now!
Oh man, this is such a powerful story. I wasn’t anticipating it. I’m thankful for you to share it. I’m glad you are feeling much better and have defeated with courage the adverse moments. This is a story of hope, dedication and strength! Great job, man. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing man glad to hear you're doing better.
Thanks for being so candid. Appreciate you sharing this and inspiring myself and others brotha
You are brave to share your low points in life with the whole world ! Hope you are doing better now :)
Man, good for you for sharing so much! I have had similar experiences, as an engineer, of super wanting a job and then it being a stress nightmare once you get there. Although never at such a high status company. Good for you. Its difficult for non devs to understand dev stress. Amazing happy ending regarding Google!! Congrats!
There is no such thing as dev stress. The nature of the software development job, including tight deadlines, pressure to keep up with the latest tech trends, and the need to assist others, can contribute to feelings of stress only, not dev stress. It is important to note that stress is not exclusive to software development. Other IT jobs can also be stressful for similar reasons. There are other professions that are more stressful than software development, such as being a surgeon or a lawyer. Imagine that you’re a surgeon who has successfully performed a surgery, but the patient still dies due to complications.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Wish you all the best in your adventure❤
Thank you so much!
sorry for what you went through! Kudos to you for your mental strength working through it and getting out in a better state!
This is one of the most inspirational stories. Thanks for sharing brother.
I work at AWS and also heard horror stories before coming, but I've learned that everyone's experience tends to be based on their org. I've heard the worst from the Alexa org so Im not shocked you've had this experience, but AWS as a whole differs between orgs. Mine is great
Thank you for sharing this. It’s hard to believe someone as articulate and smart as you could feel this way. I’m sure it gives a lot of people going through a hard time with interviewing and jobs a lot of hope ❤
Worked 6 years in amazon to a dead end and quit. Though was in operations and not in tech. It is comforting to see a lot of people who went through a rough patch here in the comments. It helps to know that i am not alone. Few of my colleagues who were down made to new better positions now so to all of us who are still reeling - good times are coming - stay strong.
Damn man... I wasnt anticipating such a heavy story... I just wanna say thank you for sharing it.
When you said you couldn't do even the most trivial thing. That really hit the nail in my heart man. I feel like that at my current job all the time and the imposter syndrome gets me crazy.
I know for sure a couple of years down the line it'll be fine but damn its weird. Thanks a lot for sharing your story. It really really helped me a lot. Thanks dude
I really, really needed to hear this. You're amazing and I thank you for sharing!
1,300 comments later, I want to thank you for making this video. It is personally cathartic, I have a fairly similar experience and it felt confirming to see someone, let alone a respected programming content creator, put into words things I have felt.
Also, it’s a nice change of pace to hear “after coping with work induced stress (compounded by familial/survival induced stress), I ate 5 tabs of acid and experienced a long lasting psychotic episode”, instead of the endless stream of “my day as a dev” videos where they wake up from their $15k/month high rise apartment at 6AM to hit the gym before banging out 12 hours of stress free rewarding $300k job, lol
You are not the only person to have experiences like this, but by telling your story you make the others know they aren't alone. Thank you!
Very powerful man. Honestly teared up a bit watching this because even though we don't know each other, you've helped me so much to where I consider you a friend lmao. Glad you never took any action you couldn't come back from🙏.
Respect, your story was so encouraging and helpful. Thank you and sending you a lot of love
man thanks for sharing your experience, its an eye opening story for me
You have helped me soo much in my coding journey, it’s great that your happy right now and brought yourself out of a awful situation
Hey thanks for sharing. My life has been like yours minus the serious mental issues for the past 8 months. I have already done 800 leetcodes and probably self-taught myself the equivalence of a CS degree in the past two years. Hopefully luck starts to favor me soon.
"My life has been like yours minus the serious mental issues", so ... nothing like the video then? The mental issues are the crux of the video.
A CS degree is a tad more than 800 leet codes
Thanks for sharing your story. Your channel has been super helpful and I’m glad you’re doing better today 🙏
Thank you for sharing You made my 2020 and 2021 a hell lot easier and helped me understand coding. Forever grateful to your one leetcode a day decision and your neetcode lists!
You are more human than I thought you were before. Many in the community of Neetcode have grown up today, because of you and with you. A lot of love and respect to you!
Takes a lot of courage to share this publicly. Thanks for doing it. Glad you are doing much better now.
Thank you for being so honest. I wasn't expecting to have parts of me relate so much to your experience
As someone who's been struggling with anxiety disorder, first of all, I'm sorry for everything that you've been through, and second, thank you so much for sharing your story. I also reached rock bottom some time ago and thought I couldn't keep going anymore. But I did. Seeing other people thriving even under such dark circumstances and achieving so much success is beautiful. I'm so happy for you and also very thankful! You are my Leetcode teacher every day😄
I left Amazon this month after being there for 1.5 years.. 🎉 I wish I could also quit as early as you did.😢
i m plannin to quit too. i lost motivation to work.. i feel guity as well as anxious at the same time. i dont know how i survived 1 year.. its frustrating and i get tired doing nothing... only thing i know that i dont wanna stay here..
What's the issue with amazon work environment? Is it that much worse..could you elaborate pls?
@@noobpurcan you tell for what reason you want to leave? Is it work load or toxic environment
@@Trizzi2931 poor planing, high expectations, they expect you to work for 18hrs a day.. manager yells and demotivate you whenever she is mad. it depends upon team.. continues oncalss
@@noobpur Why you want to leave? is it because of work load
Holy crap, This story is amazing. Thank you for opening up about this story.
Thank you for sharing and I hope that you're doing much much better now.
I'm so happy you shared this, Thank you! I'm in the same boat right now and dealing with similar situation. I hope it gets better for me and for anyone else stuck in this situation.
Your message just gave me a new sense of hope. I was laid off recently and even though I was coming off the best month I've ever had productivity wise and in growth, they let me go. I was told it wasn't due to performance, and a lot of people went to bat for me but they still offboarded me along many other engineers. Everyday I have to remind myself It wasn't due to poor performance, because each day that passes, being unemployed, the voices in my head creeps into my skull and tries to convince me that I'm not good enough.
I haven't stopped coding since the layoff, even building a startup with my friends as the sole engineer and also leveling up my system design as well as getting the rust out when it comes to coding challenges.
Thank you neetcode. You just reminded me to never bet against myself again. I have 3 interviews this week. Wish me luck.
most these people are morons. They give me gruelling tech interviews like ' solve this Java problem'...I score 90% finish in half the allocated time, and they still don't hire me. You then visit their joke of a website and see things like, password fields showing plain text....In summary, think "I am better than them"
As someone who was in your situation, just comming out and saying these things on the internet is very respectable. I'm sure this helps out a lot of people in similar situations.
hey man thank you for posting this, you are reaching so many people who go through similar thought patterns. Your videos are helpful and inspiring, and I didn't expect this type of content from your channel, but this is real, and people like me really appreciate you going there, acknowledging the dark side of mentality, that I believe hits all of us at one point or another in life. Love the channel, thanks for helping me in my studies, and keep it up!
You literally proved to everyone that even if you do hit the rock bottom , you can still improve and life does get better. Thanks for sharing your story, it was quite an inspirational one. Hope you have a good day
Huge props for talking about this publicly. I also worked for one of the world's biggest software companies. These companies drain the life of their employees, and make obscene profits. Microsoft made 250 billion in profit, then lays of tens of thousands of workers, likely giving their responsibilities to already stretched thin employees. When will engineers realize that employers exploit them as much as rank and file workers like Auto Manufacturers?? Doesn't matter if you make over 6 figures, the amount of value a quality engineer generates is in the multi-millions.
if you really like coding dont do anything else just for money if you don't need it asap. i think one of the most important thing in life is do what you love. It is so cliche and corny but true.@@jamfin6644
Even their revenue isn't 250 billion, much less their profit. I get your point, but they do have a balance sheet, and it's not as easy to balance as it looks.
@@geometerfpv2804 My apologies when I was comparing Microsoft to the Big three I had to use 2020-2023 values so you are correct this is actually for three years. Vs the Big 3 Auto makers making around 40 billion throughout the same time
@@geometerfpv2804 Microsoft annual gross profit for 2023 was $146.052B, a 7.69% increase from 2022.
@@rafes8206the big 3 are no longer the big 3
It's so humbling that even a person like you could be struggling to keep things together and like I am sure a lot of programmers will feel seen after this. Great post
What's special about him?
@@user-iq334 I have seen very few people with that ability to explain concepts and that too for free. There are times when I specifically search for a neetcode explanation of a concept even after trying to understand from other sources. There's no need to bring him down by posting such comments here.
Thanks for sharing your story, I'm sure it wasn't easy to get to where you are. You are an inspiration to all of us. Keep it up man!
Have been through the same stage, at some point the brain does work but the heart and soul isn't there and that's probably when the thought of money goes blur and you quit, hearing your thoughts reflected a lot about what i have gone through, these things do happen and most of the time to the hardworking one's.
I can relate to this brother. I have gone through this kind of anxiety not once but twice (left 2 jobs). it was damn depressing. I am living my dream life after overcoming those thoughts. hats off to you bro for sharing this
This might've just given me the motivation to get through college.
Thank you for sharing your story in an incredibly open and honest way. Much respect!
This man is honest. I started having health anxiety after covid and focusing on things and being consistent has been the hardest. But it's good to see that all human beings.. well almost all of them have their breakdown period in life.
Thanks for the honesty neetcode guy.
Thank you for showing this side of you to us. I always thought you'd be a pro at whatever you do.