One Eyed Man In Front Row | Andrew Schulz | Stand Up Comedy

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  • Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
  • What up people. This guy in the front row was squinting the entire show with one eye. It looked weird so I had to ask. Turns out that’s all he had. He was a great sport about it. INDULGE!
    Video By: / alexxmedia
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    #AndrewSchulz #StandUp #Comedy
    New York native and internationally touring stand-up, Andrew Schulz is known for his hilarious and unsafe comedy. He has starred in the sitcom BENDERS (now available on Netflix), can be seen in Amazon’s SNEAKY PETE, HBO’s CRASHING, and on MTV including GUY CODE and GIRL CODE.
    In the podcast realm, Schulz can be heard on the wildly popular THE BRILLIANT IDIOTS - co-hosted by nationally syndicated radio and television personality Charlamagne tha God - the hilarious sports commentary podcast FLAGRANT 2, and the film and TV analysis podcast WESTERBROS. He has made major appearances on The Joe Rogan Experience, Bert Kreischer’s BERTCAST, Joey “coco” Diaz The Chuch of What’s Happening Now. He has even done solo interviews with the likes of Lil Duval and many others.
    Andrew’s online presence has touched hundreds of millions of people
    across the globe and his unconventionally funny approach to the comedy world has launched him into stardome. His shows Dropping In and Inside Jokes will rack of hundreds of thousands of views weekly. Nothing is off limits for Schulz, from sex to race, and even the occasional audience heckler roast, Andrew is hungry to be the best. He can be seen in New York City performing regularly at New York Comedy Club and the Comedy Cellar.

Комментарии • 1,9 тыс.

  • @TheAndrewSchulz
    @TheAndrewSchulz  4 года назад +516

    Upcoming Tour Dates
    Tickets at TheAndrewSchulz.com
    01/18/20 - NEW ORLEANS, LA
    01/25/20 - ATLANTA, GA
    01/26/20 - BIRMINGHAM, AL
    02/01/20 - TEMPE, AZ
    02/08/20 - HONOLULU, HI
    02/21/20 - PITTSBURGH, PA
    02/22/20 - PITTSBURGH, PA
    02/28/20 - MIAMI, FL
    02/29/20 - MIAMI, FL
    03/06/20 - PORTLAND, OR
    03/07/20 - PORTLAND, OR

    • @CruzACZ
      @CruzACZ 4 года назад +16

      The Andrew Schulz stop being a bitch and come to Philly, PA. Pittsburgh’s far as fuck

    • @wholelottateo
      @wholelottateo 4 года назад +3

      Do another show in Atlanta. It’s sold out.

    • @drewblake6304
      @drewblake6304 4 года назад +7

      CANADA PLEASE!!

    • @damndoor3570
      @damndoor3570 4 года назад +5

      Come to Chicago wtf

    • @maybachyard
      @maybachyard 4 года назад +4

      Thanks for coming to Hawai'i my man!The Blue Note is a great club, but don't forget to check out the surf up the North Shore.

  • @shivamsemwal598
    @shivamsemwal598 4 года назад +7975

    That *"I'M COMING TO YOUR CITY"* feels more like a threat than an advertisement.

    • @BatkoNashBandera774
      @BatkoNashBandera774 3 года назад +45

      It kind of is, if you don't know what satire is about you might take things personally and it becomes threatening. Andrew Schulz is incredible though, I hope one day to be at a show of his live.

    • @manasvisharma4990
      @manasvisharma4990 3 года назад +14

      Haha and the timing just set the tone 😂👏

    • @thomasmendez1843
      @thomasmendez1843 3 года назад +9

      It really does

    • @jollygoodgordon5580
      @jollygoodgordon5580 3 года назад +6

      Lmmfao

    • @PrinceLobo-es8kl
      @PrinceLobo-es8kl 3 года назад +1

      No shit😂😂

  • @linc3152
    @linc3152 4 года назад +9522

    I swear these guys go to the front row on purpose lmao there are so many weird characters

    • @anderson8383
      @anderson8383 4 года назад +178

      Same. Like the dude who passed out? Even if it’s a plant it’s still funny as fuck.

    • @scottbeaulieu8192
      @scottbeaulieu8192 4 года назад +296

      Well, working with the public everyday .... you’d be surprised just how many fucking weird and strange people there are just walking this planet. Some really beautiful people and then some of gods botched genetics, the spectrum of the human species no longer surprises me.

    • @TheCyclopz
      @TheCyclopz 4 года назад +72

      I went to the front row because I love Andrew Schulz, did I want to get roasted too? Yup

    • @MartianMoon
      @MartianMoon 4 года назад +4

      Travis mckinlay did you?

    • @JacobImwold
      @JacobImwold 4 года назад +22

      At a lot of the smaller shows, they pick the seats for you. So they can put the different people up front

  • @cesarjimenez7559
    @cesarjimenez7559 4 года назад +1823

    “Indians have an army?”
    “That’s adorable”
    lmfaooooo

    • @puneetjain4568
      @puneetjain4568 4 года назад +124

      Yea second largest army

    • @Alex-sr7xu
      @Alex-sr7xu 4 года назад +84

      One of the most American things I've ever heard 😅

    • @puneetjain4568
      @puneetjain4568 4 года назад +19

      @but why sure but his reply was "indians have an army?" Not "indians had an army back then too"

    • @puneetjain4568
      @puneetjain4568 4 года назад +15

      @but why even when it has fourth powerful army i think it is pretty great to beat other nations within 70 years of independence.

    • @puneetjain4568
      @puneetjain4568 4 года назад +28

      @but why while some nations don't care whether it is a neighboring country or not. They just do whatever they want.😂

  • @amazonosman1053
    @amazonosman1053 4 года назад +1077

    “Oh Pakistaaaan...so tricky Pakistaaaaan .....but Thank you come again”
    😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @muhammadfaizanulhaq3757
      @muhammadfaizanulhaq3757 4 года назад +2

      what he is refering to ?

    • @muhammadfaizanulhaq3757
      @muhammadfaizanulhaq3757 4 года назад +6

      @rencrow capture of abhinandan ?

    • @Hashashin_420
      @Hashashin_420 3 года назад +19

      @@muhammadfaizanulhaq3757 Pakistan entered Indian air space as a form of retaliation after India entered Pakistans air space. Then on their way out the Pakistani pilots shot down an Indian plane and the pilot was captured.

    • @justadey_
      @justadey_ 3 года назад +36

      @@Hashashin_420 the pilot drank some tea and got into india within 72 hours ..thanks to the both sides for maintaining Geneva convention rules..or else some small country will surely be out from the world map for sure lol

    • @Hashashin_420
      @Hashashin_420 3 года назад +3

      @@justadey_ We already saw that when Kulbushan was arrested.

  • @dadeadriaanse5854
    @dadeadriaanse5854 4 года назад +5956

    Mans really thought cause he had one eye he was safe at an Andrew Schulz show.

    • @MegaSuckitdry
      @MegaSuckitdry 4 года назад +135

      why would any1 think hes safe tho….he roasted a guy in wheelchair lol the wheelchair guy took it like a champ tho

    • @yaboyashh
      @yaboyashh 4 года назад +16

      @@MegaSuckitdry oh yeah, he's dope. He's back up if they didn't take it well for sure. It's all for the set & he's really good at it tbh

    • @manuelwegeling
      @manuelwegeling 4 года назад +89

      He didn't see it coming

    • @victormendez3860
      @victormendez3860 4 года назад +29

      @@manuelwegeling eye didn't see it either

    • @masakiposey6532
      @masakiposey6532 4 года назад +36

      Yo he roasted a woman who passed out and the medics helping her

  • @babyfleecedre0
    @babyfleecedre0 4 года назад +5165

    Andrew: Bro you got one eye bro?
    One eye guy: Yes bro
    Andrew: *THAT’S WHATS UPPP*

    • @taylorgang2237
      @taylorgang2237 4 года назад +65

      WhiteBlackPanda0 he’s like “yes this is some easy material for a few minutes”

    • @SM-wt8gd
      @SM-wt8gd 4 года назад +54

      Andrew "that's whats up" Schulz

    •  4 года назад +3

      Except....no. That's not what he said.

    • @YosiahW
      @YosiahW 4 года назад +9

      @ Jokes aren't always a quote and vice versa. Learn to laugh.

    • @YosiahW
      @YosiahW 4 года назад +4

      @ Jokes are a lot like friends, either you get em or you don't. I owe you nothing.

  • @polvorin15764
    @polvorin15764 4 года назад +367

    One eyed people, people in a wheelchair, convicted murders... people having seizures... nobody is safe within 3 first rows... just love it!

    • @lunatoonsgaming787
      @lunatoonsgaming787 2 года назад +8

      I know you watched all these videos in one sitting like I did too

    • @anordinaryman3885
      @anordinaryman3885 2 года назад

      and they all love it, his show is Stockholm syndrome.

    • @darkdexter6643
      @darkdexter6643 Год назад +1

      @@lunatoonsgaming787 everyone bro everyone

  • @canada_rye
    @canada_rye 4 года назад +1374

    I love how everyone can just laugh about everything, and not take offense. I have hope for the world.

    • @d.t.6072
      @d.t.6072 4 года назад +15

      Got to consider the alternative.
      Think about being the one person that doesn't laugh.
      It would be like " oh you didn't laugh at my joke?"
      One eyed dude, did you see that coming?
      Then he'd laugh at his joke and smack the mic against his leg.

    • @printingwithlue4310
      @printingwithlue4310 4 года назад +2

      Yeah, people get it together right before the wuhancorona virus kills everyone.
      ::Slowclap::

    • @Liza.Wharton
      @Liza.Wharton 4 года назад +12

      it's a media-propelled fabrication mostly. real-life people in the real world don't have much to be offended with. they're busy with their lives. people (degenerates) online, however, have nothing else to do but to pick something they want to be offended by, without having any real deep interest in on the subject.

    • @nimmha6708
      @nimmha6708 2 года назад

      @@Liza.Wharton makes me wonder, if you invest most of your time doing exactly that, isn't that being interested in the subject?

    • @lubo3934
      @lubo3934 2 года назад +1

      I got news for you dog

  • @Rekken200
    @Rekken200 4 года назад +7730

    Andrew tells a joke he thinks is hilarious:
    Andrew's mic: "Aw shit here we go again"

    • @epicmonkeydrunk
      @epicmonkeydrunk 4 года назад +63

      Is hilarious*

    • @stebandozer201
      @stebandozer201 4 года назад +55

      Well it is hilarious plus he is well versed in other cultures. Like women and jobs in India

    • @The3Stooges
      @The3Stooges 4 года назад +1

      That's Funny!

    • @rolln8ths
      @rolln8ths 4 года назад +26

      You mean when he slaps it against his leg?

    • @xavineira9403
      @xavineira9403 4 года назад +30

      Brah all Shultzy is trying to do is to communicate to the 🐬 so they can understand the joke too. Stop hating

  • @CruzACZ
    @CruzACZ 4 года назад +4505

    I wish I could see the audience to see who you’re talking to.

    • @TheCyclopz
      @TheCyclopz 4 года назад +121

      Hi! Eye am right here!

    • @cameron7319
      @cameron7319 4 года назад +43

      Travis mckinlay I don’t see you

    • @bb2na473
      @bb2na473 4 года назад +2

      You'd have to risk sitting there to know.

    • @noraab5546
      @noraab5546 4 года назад +6

      Chaos yeah right they should put different cameras for the audience, it’s funnier when you can see who he’s talking to

    • @brazy5006
      @brazy5006 4 года назад

      I don't think he sees all the time who he's talking to, because of the blinding stage lights, u can see him making chinese eyes to focus on them lol

  • @stinkycheeseman1723
    @stinkycheeseman1723 2 года назад +63

    The fucking navy joke was one of the best things I've ever seen pulled out of nowhere on stage. We all need to take a moment of respect for that shit.

    • @MrAwesomeSaucem
      @MrAwesomeSaucem 2 года назад

      it was so quick hahah

    • @PokeTMNT1988
      @PokeTMNT1988 2 года назад +1

      Ummmm pretty sure that might have been my friend in the crowd. That happened our 2007 senior year with a Roman candle and he had to skip the navy. Maybe not but that would be nuts 😜

  • @dennythomas4120
    @dennythomas4120 4 года назад +1704

    Either he is the quickest comic or the audience is planted.

    • @chapu9111
      @chapu9111 4 года назад +82

      Exactly my thoughts. Like the albino one... Too good to be true

    • @vanirana5678
      @vanirana5678 4 года назад +41

      Either ways it's funny hhaah.

    • @Alex-sr7xu
      @Alex-sr7xu 4 года назад +111

      He's probably been at for awhile. Most comedians can roast their audience.

    • @dennythomas4120
      @dennythomas4120 4 года назад +26

      Yeah. But he is the best. His roasts seem to good to be true.

    • @jeremiahlopez6708
      @jeremiahlopez6708 4 года назад +17

      @Scruff Looking Nerve Hurter you think people don't notice you're everywhere Andrew's channel talking shit huh lol

  • @iyadnaseer8356
    @iyadnaseer8356 4 года назад +4965

    I'm always so impressed with Andrews Knowledge of geography and ethnicity.
    Black/Indian - assumes Trini /Kenyan because of course

    • @JohnSmithJane
      @JohnSmithJane 4 года назад +180

      Mans smart ya gotta give him that at least

    • @murmurrrr
      @murmurrrr 4 года назад +304

      He failed to notice Kenya and India were both Brittish colonies however.

    • @thomxAristy
      @thomxAristy 4 года назад +72

      He’s from New York City and has been welcomed into the black community... and sure they’re all jokes but notice all his jokes are negative stereotypes of other races and No negative stereotypes his own race, ever. I hope he eventually proved me wrong, but he’s been pretty consistent

    • @sanket677
      @sanket677 4 года назад +37

      @@thomxAristy I guess there's nothing funny you can come up with a normal white guy in the crowd . That's y it's mostly Asians, Indians, Mexicans , Blacks.

    • @aka1mite
      @aka1mite 4 года назад +26

      that's what being well traveled does to you

  • @phillyjipps
    @phillyjipps 4 года назад +2255

    It’s my ultimate goal to sit in the front row of one of his shows in the future. This guy is absolutely brilliant!

    • @jiboodie5344
      @jiboodie5344 4 года назад +168

      Phil Ippolito bro there’s a suicide hotline you can call to get help. You don’t have to do this.

    • @shadowprince4482
      @shadowprince4482 4 года назад +33

      If you do sit in the front row make sure to look like a weirdo/idiot so he'll for sure rip into you. Like maybe wear a tuxedo and a giant foam cowboy hat or something.

    • @phillyjipps
      @phillyjipps 4 года назад +5

      SavagelyBeatenGabe lmao 😂

    • @phillyjipps
      @phillyjipps 4 года назад +5

      Shadow Prince oh I’ll come prepared 🥴

    • @tutuimti7887
      @tutuimti7887 4 года назад +5

      @@phillyjipps I highly admire your balls to sit front row . Let us know how it goes 😅

  • @risaarsadi
    @risaarsadi 4 года назад +108

    “Who’s laughing? A Somalian” helpPpp 😂

    • @sjappiyah4071
      @sjappiyah4071 4 года назад +1

      C C I was dying lmfaoooooooo

    • @josh6028
      @josh6028 4 года назад +4

      I am somalian and that shit was funny

    • @fatimaguilford8645
      @fatimaguilford8645 2 года назад

      That took me out, 😂😂😂

  • @princethapar7258
    @princethapar7258 2 года назад +39

    Im Indian and i swear to god this dudes knowledge is unreal for Indians! And fyi hilarious as f**k i dont mind his jokes at all! More please 🤣

    • @antomano5623
      @antomano5623 Год назад +1

      Exactly just jokes. No one's feelings got hurt. No one pulled out a gun to kill.
      You Came to the Show and Walked out laughing and saying to yourself that you couldn't believe how funny this dude really is. He did his job well.

  • @kinglos3004
    @kinglos3004 4 года назад +1000

    "Who arranged that wedding, him"
    Lmao

    • @Barrrt
      @Barrrt 4 года назад +6

      I was literally applauding to my laptop screen.

  • @Leoza246
    @Leoza246 4 года назад +662

    "Yeah but you can be the guy at the submarine" Lmaoooo

    • @MartianMoon
      @MartianMoon 4 года назад +20

      Young Z He was so quick on that lol

    • @daveg4236
      @daveg4236 4 года назад +1

      I died

    • @suzannenichols6900
      @suzannenichols6900 4 года назад +2

      @Anoneemus Noename COUNT ON IT. LOLOL. Shhhit, I just IMAGINED that in my head...LOLOL. DOOO IT. LOLOL. Get front row seats at LEAST...lolol.
      👊😁👍

    • @thefacelessquestion3333
      @thefacelessquestion3333 3 года назад +1

      Boii do we have a job for ya

  • @hard_candy
    @hard_candy 4 года назад +98

    "...a black, Kenyan man? Shenanigans!"
    😂

  • @average2savage1
    @average2savage1 4 года назад +246

    “Indian women just started working five years ago!” 😂

    • @Navyguy
      @Navyguy 4 года назад +7

      and that's epic bullshit

    • @hijack69
      @hijack69 4 года назад +29

      @@Navyguy wow....Guess you don't understand how jokes work

    • @bhavyahingorani6856
      @bhavyahingorani6856 4 года назад +6

      @@Navyguy r/wooosh

    • @himeshthungaturthi3215
      @himeshthungaturthi3215 4 года назад +1

      @@Navyguy STFU

    • @niazibahi8284
      @niazibahi8284 4 года назад

      They were the reason everybody knows about kamasootra now.

  • @sahildrall1373
    @sahildrall1373 4 года назад +8347

    I'm Indian and I hate Andrew for knowing us more than us.

    • @abhijitkunjiraman6899
      @abhijitkunjiraman6899 4 года назад +149

      dude women have been working since long back in India just not in every state.

    • @meta290
      @meta290 4 года назад +370

      Get a sense of humour

    • @theoutlet9300
      @theoutlet9300 4 года назад +529

      @@abhijitkunjiraman6899 you must be fun at parties

    • @Aerotyler23
      @Aerotyler23 4 года назад +140

      @@abhijitkunjiraman6899 r/woooooshhhh

    • @sahildrall1373
      @sahildrall1373 4 года назад +89

      exaggeration is comedy.

  • @TheKanesi
    @TheKanesi 4 года назад +604

    “Every time someone invades , Thank You Come Again” HAHAHAHAHAHAH

    • @sabarishnarayanan4818
      @sabarishnarayanan4818 4 года назад +31

      Mr K lol...The Indian army whooped Pakistan into oblivion every time they tried their misadventures...it's the second largest in the world...

    • @Tintak_hatpin
      @Tintak_hatpin 4 года назад +21

      @Mr K The same Army Which split Pakistan into 2 parts in 1971 liberating East Pakistan which came to be known as Bangladesh since then, inspite of America, UK and their allies from Europe, China and most of the muslim Nations fully supporting Pakistan and India only supported by Russia. More than 90 thousand Pakistani soldiers were taken as POW, read history.

    • @Tintak_hatpin
      @Tintak_hatpin 4 года назад +3

      @IU Who invaded after India became a country or the Indian Army was formed ?

    • @Syndor12
      @Syndor12 4 года назад +2

      @The Grin Reaper It's neighboring country also has nukes. Doesn't matter how big your army is, when both countries own those types of weapons, neither is winning. Also I'd like to remind you what happened in February, when Pakistan ended the fight after capturing an Indian pilot.

    • @Syndor12
      @Syndor12 4 года назад +8

      @The Grin Reaper "Indian will survive nukes" well there goes any chance of having a logical conversation lmao. No, no they wouldn't. No country can survive a nuclear war, especially one with the land mass and dense population as India. Also you must delusional if you think China won't exist in a decade, they are far superior in all aspects than India. China is already a superpower, they aren't going anywhere.
      And India hasn't been able to remove the partition in 70+ years, nothing is going to change now. Don't let your patriotism blind you to logic.

  • @diyap7343
    @diyap7343 4 года назад +35

    As an Indian woman myself, I stand by Andrew's guesses. He knows what's up in the subcontinent.

    • @jackricheie9683
      @jackricheie9683 Год назад +1

      Women have been working in India for a long time though so no clue what you're talking about

    • @amoththatthinks
      @amoththatthinks Год назад

      @@jackricheie9683 lol is that what sjws say to themselves to sleep at night?

    • @farahabdulahi474
      @farahabdulahi474 Год назад

      armies need nurses, admin, logistics, cooks etc. Not everyone who is in the army is a soldier. hell, I'm sure prostitutes have been part of armies in history

    • @IAteYourSandwich
      @IAteYourSandwich Год назад

      @@amoththatthinkswtf does that have to do with anything lmao ?
      Andrew was obviously joking.
      The Indian army has had a branch with women since 1888.

  • @manasmohan5987
    @manasmohan5987 4 года назад +20

    *I am in awe of Andrew 's knowledge in Geography ,Religion ,Races,Nations **etc.No** other comedians does that so spontaneously not even Hasan Minhaj( one of my fav) because he takes time to prepare for his show and does monologue but Andrew on the other hand does conversations with the audience and makes badass jokes.*

    • @farahabdulahi474
      @farahabdulahi474 Год назад

      if he knew WW2 history, he'd know how dumb it sounds to say "india has an army?". they had a massive fucking army

  • @7373DON
    @7373DON 4 года назад +2657

    "Indian women just started working 5 years ago"

    • @Shaaan
      @Shaaan 4 года назад +53

      owlcation.com/humanities/Greatest-Indian-Women-From-History

    • @Shaaan
      @Shaaan 4 года назад +24

      @@tapaniheikkila5390 who ? me ? Nah that's my wifey in the photo.

    • @andamankhan5959
      @andamankhan5959 4 года назад +25

      They even adopted the metoo movement

    • @God-w-
      @God-w- 4 года назад +36

      @@Shaaan thats a fake news website 😂😂😂🙄👍🏼

    • @Shaaan
      @Shaaan 4 года назад +36

      @@God-w- niqqa wtf, I searched for the topic and it had the names of the women my mother used to tell me stories about. Wdym "tHaIts a fEaiK neiwS weBsItE" ? And even if it is read check the list at least.

  • @Roohnox
    @Roohnox 4 года назад +399

    Coming from india to usa just to get roasted by Andrew Schulz

  • @josesoto3594
    @josesoto3594 4 года назад +89

    I'm convinced he hired someone to place weird people in the front row lol like:
    Oh you one-eye man come with me we got a especial seat for you

    • @shahasha9887
      @shahasha9887 4 года назад +1

      Yeah feels like it is staged sometimes

    • @samprith5799
      @samprith5799 4 года назад +3

      Especial
      I felt that

    • @PPedroFernandes
      @PPedroFernandes 4 года назад +7

      I've been to one of his shows, seats are completely random, at least the one I attended

  • @varun009
    @varun009 4 года назад +12

    The "thank you, come again" is historically accurate.

  • @yupyup6821
    @yupyup6821 4 года назад +169

    This man knew damn well he’d be joked about going to Andrews show

    • @TheCyclopz
      @TheCyclopz 4 года назад +4

      Yup, you could say eye saw it coming

    • @randyreynolds6508
      @randyreynolds6508 4 года назад

      I wonder if these people work for andrew.

    • @charliehenze2544
      @charliehenze2544 4 года назад

      'oh hey babe apparently this comic guy is coming near us, maybe we could have a nice night and relax.'
      'who is it?'
      'idk it's a mix of stuff I guess, let's just try it and see'

  • @Bh4veshRana
    @Bh4veshRana 4 года назад +811

    Nobody:
    Literally nobody:
    Andrew schulz: roasts disabled person 😂

    • @nardinit
      @nardinit 4 года назад +8

      Having one eye (or not) is not a disability. You can still see...

    • @Bh4veshRana
      @Bh4veshRana 4 года назад +21

      @@nardinit Ok then why military dont give jobs to these people . It is some sort of disability. Moreover,what about earlier video where he roasted man on wheelchair 😂.

    • @walt6161
      @walt6161 4 года назад +6

      @@Bh4veshRana get a grip. Its fine, guy in the wheelchair loved that shit

    • @rypedub7973
      @rypedub7973 4 года назад +5

      Don't be disabled and go to a comedy show. It's comedy. There's no limits because this isn't a debate where we are trying to figure out something. It's comedy, it's just supposed to be stupid and funny.

    • @Bh4veshRana
      @Bh4veshRana 4 года назад

      @@rypedub7973 i m not against it . Just fact and ps i like it

  • @googleedood9721
    @googleedood9721 4 года назад +42

    When Andy laughs at his own joke, I'm compelled to laugh with him 🤣

  • @user-eb9uj8zi6i
    @user-eb9uj8zi6i 4 года назад +130

    I want to see Andrew shulzs guess Noel miller’s race

    • @jordanrhorer4031
      @jordanrhorer4031 4 года назад +5

      Saleh Cheema OMG YES

    • @meganaxeliar
      @meganaxeliar 4 года назад +3

      He won’t be one race, he’s definitely a mutt, Caucasian (most likely Spaniard demographic) and some other stuff

    • @TJ-kj9ki
      @TJ-kj9ki 4 года назад +2

      Phillipino and white.

    • @weezypeezy1725
      @weezypeezy1725 4 года назад

      Canadian and Filipino, mystery solved

    • @user-eb9uj8zi6i
      @user-eb9uj8zi6i 4 года назад

      Yako Jaco canadian? tf

  • @JoshJr98
    @JoshJr98 4 года назад +291

    The front row of his shows are gonna be marked the splashzone like at SeaWorld, sit here if you dare!

  • @JoshAndMurph
    @JoshAndMurph 4 года назад +45

    “Thank you come again” 🤣🤣🤣

  • @TateMcG
    @TateMcG 4 года назад +26

    God this killed lol had me dead when he said “Are you the mom?”

  • @suncworm
    @suncworm 4 года назад +24

    Andrews confidence to go into uncomfortable jokes cost him a lot of Adversity over the years. That sacrifice made him who he is today 💯

  • @dmaniaxd5447
    @dmaniaxd5447 4 года назад +200

    3:51
    man i am indian and idk i should laugh or cry .
    Let just laugh

    • @the.lalitpatil
      @the.lalitpatil 4 года назад +11

      Absolutely same feeling but that's true to some extent..so lets just laugh

    • @Shaaan
      @Shaaan 4 года назад +19

      I mean that's what happend bc Indians never tried or went invading others shit.. and till today Indians 'try to adjust' everywhere..

    • @the.lalitpatil
      @the.lalitpatil 4 года назад +7

      @@Shaaan may be that's the disadvantage of calling ourselves and portraying image of "Peace loving nation"

    • @the.lalitpatil
      @the.lalitpatil 4 года назад +4

      @@ashutoshdasare3050 agree !

    • @dmaniaxd5447
      @dmaniaxd5447 4 года назад +1

      @@parthsingh560 he was talking about 1900 or before that, not about today.
      Have some common sense to understand the comedy.

  • @stonitangawizi1252
    @stonitangawizi1252 4 года назад +40

    I'm Kenyan and I'd say they probably lied. 😂😂😂😂
    The only way I think her grandmother met a Kenyan man would be if he was a soldier in the King's African Rifles or if she came to Kenya as an Indian labourer when the railway was being built.
    It was hilarious how he connected all of it to the one eyed man 😂😂😂😂

    • @farahabdulahi474
      @farahabdulahi474 Год назад

      indians are all over east africa dude. they came in the late 1800's

    • @stonitangawizi1252
      @stonitangawizi1252 Год назад

      @@farahabdulahi474 Seems you didn't read the part where I said "...when the railway was being built."
      When do you think the Kenya-Uganda Railway was built?

    • @IAteYourSandwich
      @IAteYourSandwich Год назад

      Indian women were in the Indian army since WW1.
      I honestly have no clue if Kenya participated in any War that included the Indian army. If they did, the story could be believed. 🤷‍♂️
      Edit : I looked it up.
      During the Second World War, nearly ninety-eight thousand Kenya African soldiers were recruited by the colonial government and deployed to serve on the Allied side.
      So the story is entirely believable.

  • @vegitouchiha2499
    @vegitouchiha2499 3 года назад +49

    "Ohh Pakistan... So sneaky Pakistan.. But thank you come again later"
    That's why Pakistan attacked on us 4 times 😂 😂.

    • @alinasir3437
      @alinasir3437 3 года назад +5

      And so did India lmao? We weren’t supposed to take offence by this show

    • @alokbaluni8760
      @alokbaluni8760 3 года назад +1

      @@alinasir3437 when did India attacked Pakistan?

    • @justadey_
      @justadey_ 3 года назад +7

      @@alokbaluni8760 actually never first...that muslim guy just don't know about the history,plus i think he doesn't have google either lol

    • @abhishekyadav-hy3gq
      @abhishekyadav-hy3gq 3 года назад +5

      Got beaten up everytime 😂😂 , we took even Islamabad once 😂😂

    • @user-de8xc3tf1g
      @user-de8xc3tf1g 3 года назад +2

      @@abhishekyadav-hy3gq so why is Pakistan still a thing if India won 4 times 😂😂

  • @yidy1
    @yidy1 4 года назад +9

    "But you could be the guy in the Submarine"...
    Damn, you're good!

  • @ChiTownRaised
    @ChiTownRaised 3 года назад +6

    He missed the "look at me I am the captain now" opportunity 🤣

    • @user-vq4pf7if3i
      @user-vq4pf7if3i 3 года назад +1

      He didn't miss it, he didn't fucking want to say that unfunny shit.

  • @hdsn447
    @hdsn447 4 года назад +19

    I've been feeling too confident lately.. gunna purchase a front row seat.

  • @mohamedorayith4626
    @mohamedorayith4626 2 года назад +2

    1:28 the submarine joke was gold 😂

  • @jhenriquez156
    @jhenriquez156 4 года назад +13

    If I had one eye and went to an Andrew Schulz stand up, I would most definitely expect to get roasted 🤣

  • @joshuaolmedaful
    @joshuaolmedaful 4 года назад +43

    There's nothing this guy can't make funny 😂

  • @MrDlt123
    @MrDlt123 3 года назад +3

    2021 "I swear, if he says a mean word to me...."
    Andrew Schultz: Loads belt-fed machine gun

  • @astrommaut9152
    @astrommaut9152 4 года назад +7

    1st rule when Schulz is in the building :
    No one is safe.

  • @Ytj9957
    @Ytj9957 3 года назад +3

    Omg😂🤣😭.. that "thank you come again" had me dying

  • @billzkhan100
    @billzkhan100 4 года назад +27

    "Do indians have an army...? Thats cute.."... LMAO...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @peachboy6969
      @peachboy6969 4 года назад

      Yeah 4 th powerful

    • @justadey_
      @justadey_ 3 года назад

      they have 4th most powerful army in the world in terms of man power and weaponary

  • @kingbollywood22
    @kingbollywood22 4 года назад +289

    "iT's rEaL"
    - Feminist

    • @Alr1ghtyThen
      @Alr1ghtyThen 4 года назад +10

      Why is that the most appropriate usage of the SpongeBob meme I've ever seen??
      😂😂😂

    • @jmssun
      @jmssun 4 года назад +10

      -Woke white Wikipedia

    • @Eksile8
      @Eksile8 4 года назад +14

      Women are now in the army. Suddenly every feminist forgets what history is.

    • @suyashawasthi1
      @suyashawasthi1 4 года назад +16

      Well technically only female nurses and doctors were allowed in the Indian army since 1888 and they were administered by Britain and Brits also administered Kenya so it's possible. Also Kenya has a considerable Indian population because of British colonisation.

    • @Alr1ghtyThen
      @Alr1ghtyThen 4 года назад +1

      @@suyashawasthi1 I said that not because of what she said but because of how it sounded lol

  • @MAC-vi7fy
    @MAC-vi7fy 4 года назад +73

    "Indians have an army?
    Thats adorable"
    Yeah those nuclear weapons are🤣

    • @sabarishnarayanan4818
      @sabarishnarayanan4818 4 года назад +20

      Dude, India tested those nuclear weapons right under the nose of the CIA...😂 😂 😂
      It also whooped Pakistan's ass left,right and center on several occasions...😂 😂 😂

    • @indc8954
      @indc8954 4 года назад +23

      @Mr K Are you trying to be funny or Dumb? Most of the UN peace keeping efforts are handled by Indians. The so called british army of WW1 and WW2 are mostly Indians.

    • @MuhammadNafay
      @MuhammadNafay 4 года назад

      @@indc8954 UN has been the biggest failure for the world and now I know why. India

    • @indc8954
      @indc8954 4 года назад +17

      @@MuhammadNafay You can have your opinions. Mine is its because of the 2 abrahamic religions trying to kill each other and others is the reason UN fails and will fail.

    • @gatisharma5645
      @gatisharma5645 4 года назад +7

      @Mr K India has 4th largest army after usa, china, and Russia 😴

  • @yanelizrojas3886
    @yanelizrojas3886 3 года назад +4

    andrew laughing *bangs the microphone to his lap*

  • @arnabasu
    @arnabasu 4 года назад +5

    I bet that one eyed guy didn't see the jokes coming 😭😭😹😹

  • @disappointedfather8399
    @disappointedfather8399 4 года назад +11

    I saw this and was like "there is no way there aren't any pirate jokes"

  • @mthggg
    @mthggg 3 года назад +5

    The way he said Pakistan sounded like you was from there. Damn he knows his shit

  • @austintaylor6285
    @austintaylor6285 4 года назад +4

    “Shenanigans” 😂😂😂

  • @BigstickNick
    @BigstickNick 4 года назад +32

    I can see how the guy with the one eye didn't see it coming, but the rest of them...

    • @babymoon555
      @babymoon555 4 года назад

      good one lmao "didn't see it coming"

  • @julietcoates8561
    @julietcoates8561 2 года назад +3

    I really love that Andrew goes to the edge of whats not appropriate and makes everyone laugh together, and he makes it look easy 💓

  • @jerrellbevers6071
    @jerrellbevers6071 4 года назад +1

    We used to have Roman Candle fights as kids every holiday we could get fireworks. We all light off the same lighter and scatter shooting at each other. Great times....

  • @inspectorconscious2388
    @inspectorconscious2388 2 года назад

    "They think that's a pirate." Bruh that shit had me fucking dead

  • @borisbrian2565
    @borisbrian2565 4 года назад +30

    I'm an Indian
    And I found this extremely hilarious 😂😂

    • @antomano5623
      @antomano5623 Год назад +1

      Thank you, come again. 😉😭😭😭😉

  • @SenneVorsselmans
    @SenneVorsselmans 3 года назад +6

    I love how he still roasts people by their appearances in 2020, props to you my man

  • @HubLocationSound
    @HubLocationSound 3 года назад +2

    DAMN. That submarine joke was QUICK AF 🏆🏆🏆

  • @tyrese1561
    @tyrese1561 4 года назад +2

    " are you trini or some shit " 😂😂
    Im trini boy let me tell you everyone's mixed with black and Indian

  • @sanket677
    @sanket677 4 года назад +7

    3:40 4th Rank in the world baby !

    • @Lshiva693
      @Lshiva693 4 года назад +1

      @Mr K you're too cute to fight to bro. Stop provoking, and get done with your sorry life.

    • @sanket677
      @sanket677 4 года назад +1

      @Hammad Arif 4th rank is pretty good considering there are men from 192 countries with smaller penises .

    • @bait5257
      @bait5257 2 года назад

      Wooosh.
      That's the sound of the joke going over your head

  • @adityapandya24
    @adityapandya24 4 года назад +6

    Andrew doesn't even need material, his audience is his material

  • @shin1300
    @shin1300 3 года назад +1

    Jokes on you Schulz when you say "thank you come again" the invading army leaves

  • @balintbalogh688
    @balintbalogh688 4 года назад +13

    This guy is the funniest comedian and is the only comedian that makes me laugh 😂 👍🏼

    • @drb2k580
      @drb2k580 2 года назад

      Shenanigans!

  • @cCiIcCo
    @cCiIcCo 4 года назад +13

    You're one of the funniest comedians ever dude👌👌👌
    But I'd like to see more of your bits and jokes again like the first ones from you.

  • @gdudit4409
    @gdudit4409 4 года назад +7

    "India has an army? Awee that's cute" 😂😂😂

  • @santwandraws5825
    @santwandraws5825 3 года назад +2

    At 1:12 shults almost shits himself from laughter

  • @BeNGALi4LFE
    @BeNGALi4LFE Год назад

    The one eyed guy was more angry at Somalian pirates than he was at the kid who took his eye out.

  • @vedantpadhye5599
    @vedantpadhye5599 4 года назад +7

    "Indians have an army?"
    Me: as an indian ,yeah
    Hes roasting on india was bang on!!!

  • @vve2059
    @vve2059 4 года назад +9

    Andrew talks about Indian
    Audience: Why are you endian?

  • @KAhandle
    @KAhandle 3 года назад +1

    Guy in the submarine!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @cece221091
    @cece221091 Год назад

    That submarine bit got me having to pause it 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @gazbgroundwork1123
    @gazbgroundwork1123 4 года назад +14

    Ha ha so risky this shit is great, everyone having a good time. Respect to everyone involved.

  • @MinatoAce
    @MinatoAce 3 года назад +4

    You might be a Pirate.. but, you're still on the radar :3

  • @stormshadow2012
    @stormshadow2012 4 года назад

    Who arranged that wedding.... Him!
    Fuck, that cracked me up😂

  • @borisbrian2565
    @borisbrian2565 4 года назад +1

    Andrew schulz's comment section is the best , these people can take a joke
    I'm indian and I approve

  • @sanket677
    @sanket677 4 года назад +8

    Andrew be clowning on us Indians fr man !!!!!

  • @CompetishunFanOfficialChannel
    @CompetishunFanOfficialChannel 3 года назад +3

    1:24 They don't like C Y C L O P S

  • @alien4053
    @alien4053 4 года назад +1

    One eyed dude walks into the theater: "If Andrew sees me I'm so fucked"

  • @Evan-vr7vt
    @Evan-vr7vt 4 года назад +1

    the submarine joke killed me😂😂

  • @Gamingknights2
    @Gamingknights2 4 года назад +7

    "Thank you, come again" 😂

  • @ashleymailer6376
    @ashleymailer6376 4 года назад +8

    Needed a good laugh on my birthday.

    • @ardalan2584
      @ardalan2584 4 года назад +2

      happy birthday Ashley!

    • @earlgrey4013
      @earlgrey4013 4 года назад

      Happy belated birthday 🎁

    • @ashleymailer6376
      @ashleymailer6376 4 года назад

      Persia aww thank you ❤️

    • @ashleymailer6376
      @ashleymailer6376 4 года назад

      Heavenly Controller hello fellow Capricorn and twin

    • @ashleymailer6376
      @ashleymailer6376 4 года назад

      Reen Lemon and oh my god I love your user name and thank you ❤️

  • @nyinfamous2k2
    @nyinfamous2k2 4 года назад +2

    HOLLLYYYYY SHIIITTTT, the submarine joke almost had me spit water all over my computer

  • @jedimindtrix009
    @jedimindtrix009 4 года назад +1

    I swear bro Schulz is the GOAT nobody is safe everybody catching them shots

  • @samia3093
    @samia3093 4 года назад +4

    Just by reading the title, you knew it was ove for the one eyed man before it even began lmaoo

  • @Liladelph
    @Liladelph 4 года назад +3

    I woke up this morning just to die shortly after of laughter... Thanks Schulz!

  • @kingjester123
    @kingjester123 4 года назад +2

    I love hearing Andrew mention trinis every so often

  • @louielotus5458
    @louielotus5458 4 года назад +2

    That submarine joke was perfect

  • @jordanw5833
    @jordanw5833 4 года назад +4

    He’s so quick on his feet it’s ridiculous

  • @jonathanhenry5646
    @jonathanhenry5646 4 года назад +5

    surprised the hell out of Trini me when he asked if she was a Trini LOL

    • @trejames6339
      @trejames6339 4 года назад

      I know right

    • @teddyquamina3006
      @teddyquamina3006 4 года назад

      Talk about! I'm here normal and he calling me out

    • @lolalolita3537
      @lolalolita3537 4 года назад

      Whats trini

    • @teddyquamina3006
      @teddyquamina3006 4 года назад

      @@lolalolita3537 Trinidadian, as in a person from Trinidad and Tobago, a country in the Caribbean

  • @flex_piper
    @flex_piper 4 года назад +2

    Beginning to think *Andrew* is hiring/placing unique people and situations in the front row... 😂

  • @pancakeponcho
    @pancakeponcho 4 года назад

    1:46 when you tell a joke to your class but you can’t contain yourself when they stop laughing

  • @agnivash
    @agnivash 4 года назад +3

    2:56 Nobody can explain "Indian Arranged Marriages" with such ease and elegance in a one liner ❤️ #AndrewSchulz ❤️

  • @samy2394
    @samy2394 4 года назад +5

    Goddamn I felt bad for the dude being kicked out of the navy due to an accident that occurred to him

  • @warrior4hinduism274
    @warrior4hinduism274 4 года назад

    TRINI on the house!!!!! 😂 😂 😂.. Yes we love to mix it up.!!!!