Learning to identify and heal from inter-generational trauma should be part of any elementary school's curriculum, even if it's done in a basic way that kids can relate too. It would save so many people from death and destruction.
Oh! The naivety, either in the original comment or in the two replies before me... People still think schools are here to actually help us. Pfff... Schools have always been PART OF THE PROBLEM! Wake up!!!!
I love your work so much. I have spent the past 20 years healing from child sexual abuse and I had no idea how rampant it is on the planet...my work in the future is to reach out and assist as many as possible to heal. Thanks Daniel xx
Still working on healing. I have gone thru childhood sexual abuse group programs & no surprise, the programs are always full with a waiting list. The participants came from all walks of life. One woman was the daughter of a university professor. Being educated did not make him intelligent enough to control/stop or get help. I believe childhood sexual abuse is more rampant than we think, so speaking openly about it will help others.
That’s amazing I’m having such a hard time dealing with it I just saw some true crime events on SA and I was blown away at the fact that these woman became who they are today instead of giving up. I feel like I just want to give up.
The fairy tales many of us were told as children were old folk tales designed to warn children about dangerous people that were watered down and glossed up until they became ineffectual. Thank you for laying out our responsibilities so clearly, the truth of what you say here is undeniable.
If a child has access to the the Internet they can watch porn even if their parents have set up safety blocks. It really worries me what this is doing to our children and society. My son told me that when he was 13 another kid at school showed him very explicit abuse porn on his phone screen and this really traumatised him. The porn industry is huge and is still growing, are our sexualised children seeing this behaviour as normal?..and how much of it is being played out by children on other children. As a child raised in Scotland in the 70s I was frequently being asked by adult men to go somewhere private with them, it happened in parks, in the family, with family friends, in schools etc. I accepted this as normal but also threatening, my mother was abusive and messed up so I wouldn't tell her about these things. I now know different and have reported some of these child groomers to the police. Hopefully we can find solutions someday to help heal this extremely damaging abuse.
simce i was 3 i found porn on accident and throughout whne i got a bit older around 7-9 i started watchign heavy amounts even particpating in acts with people older than me online and sicne its has gotten heavier withe amounts of porn i've been consuming
I remember when I was a kid and my uncle had porn magazines in his bathroom along with friends finding it on the ground now I’m addicted to it along with weed and alcohol. Sober 9 days from the weed. I’m just tired and had the worst day ever basically having a mental break outside while staff from the local church locked their doors and some random weird old man just kept walking around it was so obvious what they were doing. I’m just tired of no one listening it’s frustrating I spent ages 6-8 getting groomed by my older female cousin and no one is helping I’ve gotten basically that I can no longer work and that because of it I’m a lesbian nice . Real nice. I can’t stand anyone at this point I’m tired of it. I’ve also been preyed on by woman as an adult and men. Idk 🤷♀️ Had someone tried to help me try to help me off the ledge and I couldn’t trust her at all so had to come back home and get help online just another Danial Mackler video. I’m just tired of mental health failing me each damn time people try to get help no one listens then they wonder why all these bad things are happening.
YES, thank you to the people who speak up !!!! So many people say "don't talk about that"........ NO !! Talk talk talk and talk, everyone should talk and everyone should listen !! Well done my good friend Dan!
I love travelling alone for this very reason...the experience is always something to heal a piece of yourself. Meeting a random stranger that sends a spark of wisdom to your search for truth. God bless you all! 🙏❤
You caused me to just research & find out Florida has had a 62% increase in Registered Sex Offenders here since 2005! I didn't know. Suddendly, my life in this millionaire's tourist town of stalkings, public druggings & S/A's here makes so much more sense. I was a Psych Nurse & Foster mom here >3 decades & my sons & I NEVER met a female in Florida who WASN'T sexually abused. TY so much for sharing this disturbing as hell story. Bless you.❤🙏❤️🔥
Jesus also said it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. What I see happening is people are empathizing more with the offenders and cruelly scapegoating the innocent victims based on slander and gossip and misunderstanding. People would rather not believe people that they like are bad than support someone who is suffering and alienated by false accusations.
Kristi Helsper Yeah I disagree with that part. Offenders manipulate people who try to cure they can't be cured. If someone isn't conscious that what they did was wrong you can't help them
The bible has said God doesn't like when sinners die, also it say's it would be. "better for him" So I think it means that it would be better for him if he died instead hurting a child because he is damming his own soul not that you should kill him, one of the commandments is thou should not kill, also the whole bible is about forgiveness for any and all sin, at least if they repent.
Daniels TALKS are turning out to be the best form of THERAPY I have ever found ! .......... Leaves you with no more Questions !!! * REAL Human SHARING his experiences & knowledge & honesty , GOOD WORK ! Must be rewarding now !
Dan ~ I have heard so many horror stories of children institutions where all kinds of unspeakable abuse took place.. This happens in prisons, refugee camps, etc. ~ I agree that the damage runs deep because of inner turmoil & shame, especially if there was sexual violations involved. ~ I recently began speaking very openly about my experiences of being sexually abused as I was growing up, with a male friend of mine.. I shared it with him as a way to give him perspective on how it feels.. because this man confessed that he was “ a player “ .. I have personally witnessed him taking advantage of young women with mental illness. I thought if he could HEAR about what the results are from these interactions .. he might be inspired to respect women. Well, in very short time, he used these stories against me.. sort of trying to convince me that I am “damaged goods “ and that I should be ashamed of myself somehow.. I don’t have faith in trying to change a persons’ perspective by sharing stories.. A person who treats people badly.. well, they have no empathy.. and all the words in the world .. won’t change an unfeeling heart ...
*edited for grammar / spelling It's so important that we have these conversations, @Daniel Mackler. Thank you for bringing this to light in a way that leaves enough room for ideas about healing, rather than simply punishing to emerge. As a child sexual abuse experiencer with a family history of chronic neglect and emotional / physical abuse, I am navigating through this world with an awareness that makes it difficult to witness the constant drum beat of 'more and more extreme punishment is needed'. I know in my soul that punishment would not have prevented the horrors that I endured...it may have discouraged one or two of the perpetrators in my world, but there are always more, some that are extremely sophisticated, who rise up to replace them. Punishment is not the way to a healthier humanity. Heaping further trauma on those who are perpetrating the abuse will not heal anything. Do I agree that children and other adults must be protected from the predation of those who are inflicting the abuse? Absolutely. But, I'm also aware that if every sex offender was magically removed from society overnight, we'd look around to find every single aspect of our lives in shambles. We as a whole find ourselves in the same position as the First Nations Band that you refer to: there are SO MANY perpetrators that to banish them would leave our society in ruins. Now, it could be argued that our society is not necessarily worth saving - because as you point out, the legacy of trauma infects every aspect of our human power structures, and abusive and inhumane attitudes and behaviors infiltrate all. However, to imagine that the only solution is to rid ourselves of those who do not control their harmful impulses is to pursue a path of devastation from which we may never recover. What is the solution? This is perhaps the main question of my life, and one that I take very seriously. We've been told that there is no hope for those who succumb to the urge to violate a child. That the appetite for destruction continues to grow like a secret cancer until only death or incarceration puts a stop to the predation. What if that isn't entirely true? What if we HAVEN'T tried everything? What if there ARE ways to begin to heal the unprocessed and toxic material that resides in and leaks out of those we label as monsters? What if we explore the interconnection between the body, the Central Nervous System, the role of unprocessed traumatic memories / states in ways that might lead to ACTUAL authentic healing? For BOTH the recipients of abuse, and for those who perpetrate? I've recently become aware of the very promising studies done with CSA offenders who have undergone limited EMDR therapy - it turns out that the levels of deviant arousal experienced by these individuals decreases measurably, whilst their levels of willingness to assume responsibility for and acknowledgement of the harms they have committed increases, as well. It appears that these outcomes are stable over time - that the levels of recidivism that we have been taught to accept as 'inevitable' are indeed governed by the ability of the therapy to ACTUALLY address the root causes of predatory behavior. If this is true, doesn't it behoove us to put our attention HERE? Where real healing can begin? Even if EMDR isn't 'THE answer', I'm convinced that it holds a crucial part of the answer: these behaviors emerge from non-verbal, trauma induced states of being that CAN be healed, if we dare to open our minds to the reality that the BODY must be included in the healing process: talk / aversion therapies have proven to be woefully inadequate, yes, but there is a growing body of knowledge that implies that the physical drivers of traumatic re-enactment are malleable / "healable", (AND that they govern the psychological aspects to a large degree). By recruiting the entire being in the healing process, we can begin to see true, measurable changes in ourselves AND in those we see as monsters.
@War Stories & Life Changing Advice I wish that you hadn't endured abuse. That sucks. But since that's what's real, then we need to do whatever it takes, my friend. I'm finally willing to go the distance, face the horror, and let it move through my system and dissolve as much as possible. Life 'lived' through the rigid structures of trauma effects is not good enough. And finally, we do have modalities that actually help us HEAL, not just freaking 'cope'. It feels good to gather here, where there is such a compassionate and insightful community. This is one step closer to a healthy world!
@War Stories & Life Changing Advice Absolutely - the fact is, trauma imprints our Central Nervous Systems and our brain functioning in destructive patterns that are physical in nature: no amount of talk therapy will correct that side of things - BUT, with modalities like EMDR, Neurofeedback, Trauma Sensitive Yoga, Somatic Trauma Therapy, etc., the parts of our physiology that have been distorted can and DO begin to 'normalize'...in the context of self-care, compassion and support, we have the tools to take back the keys to the life force that have seemed to be hidden for so long. Here's to healing, my friend! 😀
@War Stories & Life Changing Advice Strangely enough, I actually have to disagree with you. Having been lucky enough to experience a course of Neurofeedback several years ago, here's what I can share with you: After decades of talk therapy, and what most would consider a LOT of 'processing', I still felt as though all I had really achieved was to develop a set of superior coping strategies - okay, so now I was able to hold down a job, have friendships, even develop a long term relationship (we'll be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary this year) - but inside? I still had to use ungodly amounts of energy to control my emotions, stay in my body, behave 'rationally'... it was only after experiencing Neurofeedback that I actually FELT different - as though the racing thoughts, inability to properly regulate my emotions, intrusive memories, hyper-vigilance, tendency to dissociate, etc...had the VOLUME turned down to manageable levels for the first time EVER. As I continued with the sessions, and as the neuro-biology began to heal, spontaneous feelings of lighthearted joy began to emerge. Not only that, my ability to concentrate, to perform my daily routines, to engage with my husband: ALL began to organically and effortlessly become more and more enjoyable. Mind you, I was NOT discussing or 'processing' the trauma with the therapist. Nope. I would show up, recline in a comfortable chair, have a couple of electrodes temporarily glued to my head 😅, then close my eyes and listen to pleasant music for half an hour. Then, I would open my eyes, emerge from the office, and go about my life with increased vitality, good cheer and equanimity. Plus, my cognitive abilities sharpened in ways that are difficult to articulate - but, for the first time ever, I found that I could contemplate traumatic episodes without re-experiencing much distress at ALL. They were being neutralized. As the CNS re-balanced itself, the quality of life improved in ways both mundane and profound. I KNOW that the mind spontaneously heals as a result of healing the physical aspects. Hope this helps.
@War Stories & Life Changing Advice That's an interesting question, my friend. Some folks would say that the therapeutic relationship is a vital part of healing, and I agree - it CAN be, if one is lucky enough to find a therapist that has processed their own trauma to a sufficient degree. That's a BIG if. There are things we can do alone that are very helpful, though. I'm currently reading (and working through) "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy" by Francine Shapiro - the woman who developed EMDR. I've had really good experiences with self-administered Open Focus Meditation, as well. (do a quick google / youtube search). These help us to 're-embody', and are very powerful for dissolving anxiety. Lastly, I am diligently working toward the day when I can afford to purchase a NeurOptimal home unit. This is the only form of Neurofeedback that I endorse: unlike traditional models, it does not require the operator to 'assess' the current brain state, then develop a protocol to 'correct' it. No, it simply nudges our brains to find their OWN balance in a non-invasive, utterly private manner. Although it doesn't seem to have the same effect for everyone, it's MY holy grail. Super expensive to purchase your own unit, but because I've already lived through the benefits, I KNOW that it's worth every penny. This can be self-administered, without any negative side effects. I would recommend finding a local practitioner and investing in a few sessions to see if you experience the kind of 'state changes' I've described - then decide if investing in this technology makes sense to you.
For every quote-unquote perpetrator that you kill three more will pop up in their place because they are not growing out of sexual perversion they're growing out of the spaces we ignore, they're growing out of emotional neglect. You protect children through a sense of community and knowledge this is a massive problem that we're dealing with and it's going to be perpetrators who are healed who helped solve it not victims who become murderers
I have been mentally ill for the last 4 years. I am almost sure i was sexually abused as a child, but can't remember anything. It feels like pieces of the puzzle fall together, but still nothing concrete. The people i talk to dismiss it.
You deserve to know, you deserve to get professional help. It can help you understand how it changed you, help you find your way back to or into the person you would have been without the trauma. It can explain your pain and teach you ways how to begin to stich together the parts of your soul tourn apart by the trauma. People are ignorant, please do everything you can to seek proper professional help. Some trauma therapies are life changing. There's ways of retrieving traumatic memories, or ways of seeing it's effects, the traces it left behind in you. Your experience is valid, your hurt is valid. The way you describe trying to remember, comprehend and piece together things is a sign of trauma. Your mind can be keeping things away from you to try to help you, but this will never heal you. To heal you must know your hurt and it's origin. Understanding trauma is vital in coping with and ultimately recovering from or learning to live with ones mental health issues. Truly wish you the best
@@tyramyra573 thank you. I definetly know there was alot of emotional abuse. I am not sure if there was sexual abuse involved, but i can't rule it out. I am already finding out who i really am, and i can tell you i am a strong motherf*cker. Thank you for your reply.
Keep going. Even if every therapist tells you you’re crazy, keep going. Even if the memories aren’t there, you just know. I got the flashbacks this year. People will deny it because they are in denial and too cruel. I had my mom insist that it never happened. It was my dad. These people hide in plain sight.
Lots of things are fundamentally messed up in today's world and also in the world of my childhood (1980's - 90's), and probably further back in the past also. Where is there an example of human society without trauma? Without normalized cruelty, bullying, abuse, ridicule, neglect, disregard for well-being? Trying to heal oneself is the best we can do, but it takes more than a lifetime. If only there were something more effective and more powerful that we could do. Talking is important but I fear it's not enough.
I am very interested with the subject of community and trauma. It's wonderful how some people who have been deeply traumatized works so hard to improve their situation and at the same time they are able to understand the dynamic that occured in their surroundings. But it's quite rare. As you said in your previous video, I have the feeling that working on myself really deep is cutting me off from a lot of people. I noticed that every time I try to talk openly about those subjects people tend to get frightened and reject me or they can become agressive. It's like while I'm opening about myself they associate me with being a problematic human being just because I'm open to talk about my problems freely. I wondered if I was too much talking about it but it seems that this is not the issue because I am open to talk about a lot of different things. I'm still wondering how to connect with people properly, not trying to put a mask but not being too heavy about deep stuff that people are not ready to listen too, even if they seemed to at one moment.
I can understand your issues here. If this topic was more openly discussed then it may lessen some of the prevalence. I’m sorry that people try to isolate you for doing this. That is their immaturity
Maybe it's a case of too much information. If the person you're talking to has been abused, maybe they just can't handle the details of someone else's abuse. To share that you were abused is one thing but to go into the details might be too much for them to handle -- too triggering.
The ordinary person has no training in how to protect themselves from the trauma of hearing stories of trauma. I don't know how psychotherapists shield themselves from the horrible things they hear.
Firstly I would like to say thank-you and I appreciate your work on these topics. But some thoughts.. 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone..' ? Ive heard that so often in my religious upbringing, and so so often, used as an excuse, not to hold people accountable, especially in the Church. The biggest problem with abuse, is lack of accountability.. I don't think that's the best phrase to use, to approach the idea of understanding perpetrators. I also think it's a mistake to group abusers, and say they have all been abused, and that's why they abuse. To say we are all traumatised I can accept, but, there is a broad spectrum, mild trauma should not be conflated with serious forms of trauma. A lot of traumas are really not comparable. In fact, most people who were sexually abused, never go on to sexually abuse, they simply suffer and break down. People should be held accountable for how they chose to respond to their trauma. They have choices, every step of the way, to abuse themselves, or to abuse another person. There is another factor in abuse, a sense of entitlement, feelings of superiority, feeling the victims are inferior and so due any exploitation that happens them. that's Abuse of power. I think this sense of entitlement, is often overlooked as a key factor. Also mothers who have been abused, can often rear sons who will abuse, because of her sense of inferiority, her woundedness, her spoiling and idealisation of the sons..
Could this sexual abuse trauma be the cause of so many first nations people having alcohol and and drug addictions to over come their pain. I see many of them in my neighborhood. What can one do to help them?
Absolutely. They have often had their culture and way of life decimated ,many cannot grasp onto the new world thats swallowed them up and make any sense of it. They have no agency , no power and are often marginalised , excluded and abused . If they have access to drink and drugs theyll self medicate to mitigate the pain. If sexual abuse is visited on them from outside its often as a tool of oppression .Its not about the sex its about power, domination, shaming and so often like the bully is someone who has been bullied , the native people adopt abuse as a tool of power and oppression inside their community. Our so called developed culture is based on selfishness, greed and hoarding and power to us is a legitimate force in that system . Aboriginal peoples very often hold the community higher than individuals. Empathy, cooperation and consideration are needed for a cohesive community . We have abandoned many of those ideas . Margaret Thatcher, Ayn Rand , Neo liberal politics , Oligarchs , We all adopt ideas of individual triumph and success like its a natural thing . It will be our undoing
Yes. And as much as it's coming from a place of wanting to protect young girls, we also have to acknowledge the negative effects it has on them. When I was 5 my mother put me in a dress. A dress I did not want to wear because I did not like dresses. Later on I was playing with the other kids, running, jumping, climbing, just being a kid. But when I hung upside down on the monkey bars and my dress lifted up I got yelled at to stop doing that, "little boys and perverted men will see your panties!" My mother said. And I was made to get down. Right then, at 5, I became aware of my body. The fact it was being perceived. That not only was I being looked at but that I needed to control myself so that others can control themselves. I didnt even want to wear the dress. We think we are protecting young girls but it comes at the cost of policing them.
@@breandadavis3168 I’ve always thought parents were stupid when it comes to putting their girls in dresses. Kids behave differently than adults. They actually run, jump, play, and romp. Putting a girl in a dress and expecting her to have dress etiquette in the toddler age range is ridiculous, so if you’re going to have them wear a skirt, have them wear full legging pants underneath so you can avoid having to make a federal case out of their knickers.
Has no one in these environments ever heard of RECOVERY WORK. The thing is Daniel is there is no excuse for not getting into recovery. They must know that what was done to them and the trauma it has caused. One has the RESPONSIBILITY to not continue this abuse to others. It is incumbent upon an abuse victim to repair oneself from the trauma inorder NOT TO BECOME A PERPETRATOR. There just is no excuse whatsoever. I knew I never wanted another child to go through what I did so I knew I had to get into incest recovery so that I could raise awareness to all who would listen how this ruins lives. Recovery also facilitated empathy. One needs to get in touch with how hurt and angry u are with the perpetrator and unless u do this u will not have empathy for other victims and u will perpetrate this same crime to whoever in order to get revenge on your perpetrator. Then u have crossed over into ONE OF THEM to really a point of no return and u deserve the worst in life as far as I am concerned.
Damn. At first I thought this was a rant. But you are right. In my experience, we have to feel the anger and hurt, otherwise we are acting out of the trauma. When Dan had empathy for the abuser, I was shocked. Like, I've always defended my abuser....until I went to recovery. Now I speak out. That 'he who casts the first stone's bs was so misguided and cherry picked. I love Dan, but bro....
Yes they are. Things you learn in childhood get reflected. We can change destiny though, and that is what you are saying ( I think) But getting abused does change your destiny. It literally changes your bio chemical makeup.
I've also concluded that near everyone on the planet is acting out from childhood trauma. Even ultra rich people that are actually insecure with less . Sometimes I could see it as a kid. Like when there was war in Northern Ireland and they'd run out of ammo so were throwing rocks at one another and fist fighting. It was the first time I paid any attention to any news. But that kind of fighting I'd seen on the playground. Well not serious war but to a kid on the playground it is serious. I thought out loud about what their mothers would say when they got home. No matter what I was told it appeared no different than a mob of kids brawling. And at some point each kid resolves to do something about it when they grow up. Uh oh...
If the First Nations people have an obligation to recognize the pattern of reproduction of trauma within their history and culture, then too do the Christians who violated them in the residential schools. Those Christians would observe in their doctrine the notion of original sin and its role in traumatizing people for just being human. Sex abuse is but one vector of shame through generations.
I do not think Christianity is a healthy religion for the reasons you elaborate in this post. I'm mainly talking about the type of Christianity where the Bible is taken literally.
What they were dealing with in their tribe is the effects of radical Roman Catholicism which is an entirely different religion that hijacked the name of Jesus Christ and conjoined the church with secular state powers around the 4th century. The organization’s operation is to use a perverse spirituality and military force to subjugate nations and enrich the Vatican. Their very existence is sustained by practices entirely antithetical to the teachings of Christ. His teachings are actually rock-solid, just grossly misrepresented by cults.
🤔…the key here tho is the systemic sexual, verbal and psychological abuse that destroyed this tribe and other tribes and other minorities, etc. Combining the spiritual and emotional abuse with the sexual abuse by the very powerful, global Catholic Church is really the tragedy here. It destroyed that tribe. That’s just one community that illustrates the damage of systemic abuse.
This is the very reason it blows my mind that so many young guys my age are embracing the RCC and becoming “Trad-Cath”. They yearn for the religion, structure, and mysticism, but the organization they are submitting to has been unrepentantly involved in some of the most egregious crimes against humanity since the days of Constantine. Genocide, torture, theft, and sexual impropriety are practically their core export; thinly veiled by a gilded and perverted facade of Christianity.
I see your points about inviting in healing for perps, but there are perps who enjoy hurting others; Healing the Whole is the most important communal task. However, Not every individual will want to do that work or be successful and they will remain dangerous. How do we do a better job protecting children?
We protect the children by creating an environment of healing of knowledge and of safety and of community, we heal the perks by not killing them because for every purpose you kill three more going to pop up in their place
@@mariecc222 I'm sorry for whatever abuse you've been through and also I'm not sure if you just haven't realized it yet and you're going to or if you don't want to but killing perpetrators is not going to solve this problem revenge is not going to solve this problem shame is not going to solve this problem because shame caused it
I always assumed it was because like Black men during slavery, native men had everything taken from them, especially their pride in being able to protect their women and children. Men find it harder to face trauma, so it's been rampantly acted out ever since. Trauma is even found for generations after in people's genes. I think healing happens when feminine energy becomes more mainstream. Men have spent thousands of years traumatizing each other, I think the love and leadership of women will save them.
Okay so what about when women are the abusers? Woman are supposed to be more emphatic than men but that hasn't been my experience, that experience says that more women are selfish.
Crimes against children. Where is the justice for the victims? It is heart-breaking, any way I look at it. Innocent children who never got to be innocent children. They had no power and no way to protect themselves.
Forgiveness should not be part of the equation for victims, instead, victims should only focus on their healing. Secondly, trauma isn't something anyone can forget or should because it's way to protect yourself from future occurrences.
Absolutely do what doesn’t hurt right. If it isn’t broke don’t fix it, if there’s challenges coming up for u u can lean into relaxing hobbies and focus on physical movements and visualize calming things and breathe deeply. Focus on things which bring u joy rather than pain, but u can also choose to manipulate and optimize the functionality of that psychological scar tissue through psychotherapy
Yes I would believe this. But people know this is wrong. I was sexually abused but I did not act it out. However in Australia research shows that 38 percent of women generally were sexually abused before the age of 15. That is the only the reported number. In Australia I believe childhood sexual abuse of both genders is very great.
It's really a good question. I think theoretically, given the right environment, yes, it can!! It's just very hard to find that right environment. The world in general is so un-healing...
@Patient Growth > Were u born in the year of the rabbit? 💐 Nay. The Rooster. Have you seen "Watership Down"? In speaking about rabbits, the narrator says: > All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
no, narcissists and sociopaths have no conscience or empathy so they need society to rein them in because they lack boundaries. their brains are messed up
That is your job to do more research on this complex topic and quit blaming someone for being reductive. If u pay attention to Daniel and all of his material he explains this much more serious detail. Sometimes being reductive at the time is for just bringing the topic up at all. We must be do further research if we care about the topic and everyone should care deeply about this bc it is collectively ruinous to children and subsequently society as a whole.
@@laraoneal7284 I agree, sometimes being reductive at the time is for just bringing the topic up at all in situations where people might otherwise not listen. I'm glad that Daniel is not reductive when discussing the subjects of sexual abuse including childhood trauma(s) in regard to the adult overcomer or potential overcomer thereof.
The woman in the bible caught in adultery had a heart change Jesus could see it repented and wanted to change. A decision to change our harm to others has to happen.Otherwise things wont change in yourself.Its a sexual addiction and it needs others away from your self to address the patterns and habit.Get help from a proffesional before your actions bring an eternal and cicumstancial out come for you of destruction.You may have your life trauma why continue to bring trauma cycle to others for gratification of the trauma demon get help.
If I remember correctly, the mosuo became a matriarchy because the men would go to war and die there, so the women became the ones "in charge". I remember this study they made with baboons where they killed all the aggressive ones and... yes 🤔 She said they couldn't kill them because it was 90% of them, but... 👀
I agree that we should work on ourselves Daniel, we should try to resolve our trauma ! But what I do not agree w is that to kill those predators would be a bad thing! It would be a VERY good lesson for ppl especially men that there are and MUST be consequences and that pay back is due if you ever lay your hand on vulnerable children ! I remember seeing this interview about a man that killed a local pedophile and was sentenced to life in prison, I looked at his face and to me... that wasn’t a murderer, he wasn’t a cruel person! he was just doing what we all should do if we are human beings w empathy and a soul ! He was getting this world rid of this human filth that is walking around out there and thinks that they can get away w anything just because humanism... it’s not good against evil, cuz what he did wasn’t good, killing someone is never good! But it was necessary, for the dignity and well being of ppl you care about, of ppl that need our protection the most !
fwiw "indian" is and has been an accepted term in the u.s. it is considered short for "american indian" as found in AIM (the American Indian Movement). many American Indians casually refer to themselves as indian and academia is the source of not only "native-american," but all the cumbersome hyphenates we have today. btw Black is back by popular demand!
Love your content. While abusers trauma is definitely true in many cases.. What about all the abuse and sexual abuse, that's simply greed? Can ALL abusive behaviour be put down to the abuser being 'traumatised'? ..are people 'inherently good' ? What about moral choices? I see so much pain created, by people who are just greedy and entitled, who take the easy path, the short cuts, because they want what they want and they want it now. They see it as others job to give it to them. sure we've all committed sins, but no way equivalent to some of the serious sins..
Learning to identify and heal from inter-generational trauma should be part of any elementary school's curriculum, even if it's done in a basic way that kids can relate too. It would save so many people from death and destruction.
Exactly! 😢
Good idea
Oh! The naivety, either in the original comment or in the two replies before me... People still think schools are here to actually help us. Pfff... Schools have always been PART OF THE PROBLEM! Wake up!!!!
I love your work so much. I have spent the past 20 years healing from child sexual abuse and I had no idea how rampant it is on the planet...my work in the future is to reach out and assist as many as possible to heal. Thanks Daniel xx
Still working on healing. I have gone thru childhood sexual abuse group programs & no surprise, the programs are always full with a waiting list. The participants came from all walks of life. One woman was the daughter of a university professor. Being educated did not make him intelligent enough to control/stop or get help. I believe childhood sexual abuse is more rampant than we think, so speaking openly about it will help others.
That’s amazing I’m having such a hard time dealing with it I just saw some true crime events on SA and I was blown away at the fact that these woman became who they are today instead of giving up. I feel like I just want to give up.
The fairy tales many of us were told as children were old folk tales designed to warn children about dangerous people that were watered down and glossed up until they became ineffectual.
Thank you for laying out our responsibilities so clearly, the truth of what you say here is undeniable.
I totally agree with you. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️
If a child has access to the the Internet they can watch porn even if their parents have set up safety blocks. It really worries me what this is doing to our children and society.
My son told me that when he was 13 another kid at school showed him very explicit abuse porn on his phone screen and this really traumatised him.
The porn industry is huge and is still growing, are our sexualised children seeing this behaviour as normal?..and how much of it is being played out by children on other children.
As a child raised in Scotland in the 70s I was frequently being asked by adult men to go somewhere private with them, it happened in parks, in the family, with family friends, in schools etc. I accepted this as normal but also threatening, my mother was abusive and messed up so I wouldn't tell her about these things. I now know different and have reported some of these child groomers to the police.
Hopefully we can find solutions someday to help heal this extremely damaging abuse.
God bless u for ur discernment.
It terrifies me also, especially knowing that viewing these images can create a desire for ‘stronger’ more abusive content.
simce i was 3 i found porn on accident and throughout whne i got a bit older around 7-9 i started watchign heavy amounts even particpating in acts with people older than me online and sicne its has gotten heavier withe amounts of porn i've been consuming
I remember when I was a kid and my uncle had porn magazines in his bathroom along with friends finding it on the ground now I’m addicted to it along with weed and alcohol. Sober 9 days from the weed. I’m just tired and had the worst day ever basically having a mental break outside while staff from the local church locked their doors and some random weird old man just kept walking around it was so obvious what they were doing. I’m just tired of no one listening it’s frustrating I spent ages 6-8 getting groomed by my older female cousin and no one is helping I’ve gotten basically that I can no longer work and that because of it I’m a lesbian nice . Real nice. I can’t stand anyone at this point I’m tired of it. I’ve also been preyed on by woman as an adult and men. Idk 🤷♀️ Had someone tried to help me try to help me off the ledge and I couldn’t trust her at all so had to come back home and get help online just another Danial Mackler video. I’m just tired of mental health failing me each damn time people try to get help no one listens then they wonder why all these bad things are happening.
YES, thank you to the people who speak up !!!! So many people say "don't talk about that"........ NO !! Talk talk talk and talk, everyone should talk and everyone should listen !! Well done my good friend Dan!
I love travelling alone for this very reason...the experience is always something to heal a piece of yourself. Meeting a random stranger that sends a spark of wisdom to your search for truth. God bless you all! 🙏❤
Yes, we all need to speak up in order for it to stop. Thank you for posting this.
God damn it Dan, I’m never cooking when you start but I’m always cutting onions by the end. Amazing. Thank you.
9:45 that's the key "trying to get more honest with ourselves" is the greatest healing work
You caused me to just research & find out Florida has had a 62% increase in Registered Sex Offenders here since 2005! I didn't know. Suddendly, my life in this millionaire's tourist town of stalkings, public druggings & S/A's here makes so much more sense. I was a Psych Nurse & Foster mom here >3 decades & my sons & I NEVER met a female in Florida who WASN'T sexually abused. TY so much for sharing this disturbing as hell story. Bless you.❤🙏❤️🔥
Fantastic video Daniel. Thank you for your contribution to raising consciousness ❤
Jesus also said it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. What I see happening is people are empathizing more with the offenders and cruelly scapegoating the innocent victims based on slander and gossip and misunderstanding. People would rather not believe people that they like are bad than support someone who is suffering and alienated by false accusations.
Kristi Helsper TRUTH !
Kristi Helsper Yeah I disagree with that part. Offenders manipulate people who try to cure they can't be cured. If someone isn't conscious that what they did was wrong you can't help them
@@2126Eliza Yeah... there's a big difference between adultery and perpetration.
Waaa, did not you hear, the missionary position!
The bible has said God doesn't like when sinners die, also it say's it would be. "better for him" So I think it means that it would be better for him if he died instead hurting a child because he is damming his own soul not that you should kill him, one of the commandments is thou should not kill, also the whole bible is about forgiveness for any and all sin, at least if they repent.
Thank you. You put this so well when comparing it on a mass-scale.
that explains a lot. thank you! please continue being so honest.
This was a great video. Other community’s should pay attention to this. Took me years to figure out that I was not “born this way”.
Thank you Daniel I appreciate you 🙏🏿
Daniels TALKS are turning out to be the best form of THERAPY I have ever found ! ..........
Leaves you with no more Questions !!!
* REAL Human SHARING his experiences & knowledge & honesty , GOOD WORK ! Must be rewarding now !
Dan ~ I have heard so many horror stories of children institutions where all kinds of unspeakable abuse took place.. This happens in prisons, refugee camps, etc. ~ I agree that the damage runs deep because of inner turmoil & shame, especially if there was sexual violations involved. ~ I recently began speaking very openly about my experiences of being sexually abused as I was growing up, with a male friend of mine.. I shared it with him as a way to give him perspective on how it feels.. because this man confessed that he was “ a player “ .. I have personally witnessed him taking advantage of young women with mental illness. I thought if he could HEAR about what the results are from these interactions .. he might be inspired to respect women. Well, in very short time, he used these stories against me.. sort of trying to convince me that I am “damaged goods “ and that I should be ashamed of myself somehow.. I don’t have faith in trying to change a persons’ perspective by sharing stories.. A person who treats people badly.. well, they have no empathy.. and all the words in the world .. won’t change an unfeeling heart ...
Incredible video. Your wisdom is truly uncommon.
*edited for grammar / spelling
It's so important that we have these conversations, @Daniel Mackler. Thank you for bringing this to light in a way that leaves enough room for ideas about healing, rather than simply punishing to emerge.
As a child sexual abuse experiencer with a family history of chronic neglect and emotional / physical abuse, I am navigating through this world with an awareness that makes it difficult to witness the constant drum beat of 'more and more extreme punishment is needed'.
I know in my soul that punishment would not have prevented the horrors that I endured...it may have discouraged one or two of the perpetrators in my world, but there are always more, some that are extremely sophisticated, who rise up to replace them. Punishment is not the way to a healthier humanity. Heaping further trauma on those who are perpetrating the abuse will not heal anything.
Do I agree that children and other adults must be protected from the predation of those who are inflicting the abuse? Absolutely. But, I'm also aware that if every sex offender was magically removed from society overnight, we'd look around to find every single aspect of our lives in shambles. We as a whole find ourselves in the same position as the First Nations Band that you refer to: there are SO MANY perpetrators that to banish them would leave our society in ruins.
Now, it could be argued that our society is not necessarily worth saving - because as you point out, the legacy of trauma infects every aspect of our human power structures, and abusive and inhumane attitudes and behaviors infiltrate all.
However, to imagine that the only solution is to rid ourselves of those who do not control their harmful impulses is to pursue a path of devastation from which we may never recover. What is the solution? This is perhaps the main question of my life, and one that I take very seriously.
We've been told that there is no hope for those who succumb to the urge to violate a child. That the appetite for destruction continues to grow like a secret cancer until only death or incarceration puts a stop to the predation.
What if that isn't entirely true? What if we HAVEN'T tried everything? What if there ARE ways to begin to heal the unprocessed and toxic material that resides in and leaks out of those we label as monsters?
What if we explore the interconnection between the body, the Central Nervous System, the role of unprocessed traumatic memories / states in ways that might lead to ACTUAL authentic healing? For BOTH the recipients of abuse, and for those who perpetrate?
I've recently become aware of the very promising studies done with CSA offenders who have undergone limited EMDR therapy - it turns out that the levels of deviant arousal experienced by these individuals decreases measurably, whilst their levels of willingness to assume responsibility for and acknowledgement of the harms they have committed increases, as well. It appears that these outcomes are stable over time - that the levels of recidivism that we have been taught to accept as 'inevitable' are indeed governed by the ability of the therapy to ACTUALLY address the root causes of predatory behavior.
If this is true, doesn't it behoove us to put our attention HERE? Where real healing can begin? Even if EMDR isn't 'THE answer', I'm convinced that it holds a crucial part of the answer: these behaviors emerge from non-verbal, trauma induced states of being that CAN be healed, if we dare to open our minds to the reality that the BODY must be included in the healing process: talk / aversion therapies have proven to be woefully inadequate, yes, but there is a growing body of knowledge that implies that the physical drivers of traumatic re-enactment are malleable / "healable", (AND that they govern the psychological aspects to a large degree). By recruiting the entire being in the healing process, we can begin to see true, measurable changes in ourselves AND in those we see as monsters.
@War Stories & Life Changing Advice I wish that you hadn't endured abuse. That sucks. But since that's what's real, then we need to do whatever it takes, my friend. I'm finally willing to go the distance, face the horror, and let it move through my system and dissolve as much as possible. Life 'lived' through the rigid structures of trauma effects is not good enough. And finally, we do have modalities that actually help us HEAL, not just freaking 'cope'. It feels good to gather here, where there is such a compassionate and insightful community. This is one step closer to a healthy world!
@War Stories & Life Changing Advice Absolutely - the fact is, trauma imprints our Central Nervous Systems and our brain functioning in destructive patterns that are physical in nature: no amount of talk therapy will correct that side of things - BUT, with modalities like EMDR, Neurofeedback, Trauma Sensitive Yoga, Somatic Trauma Therapy, etc., the parts of our physiology that have been distorted can and DO begin to 'normalize'...in the context of self-care, compassion and support, we have the tools to take back the keys to the life force that have seemed to be hidden for so long. Here's to healing, my friend! 😀
@War Stories & Life Changing Advice Strangely enough, I actually have to disagree with you. Having been lucky enough to experience a course of Neurofeedback several years ago, here's what I can share with you:
After decades of talk therapy, and what most would consider a LOT of 'processing', I still felt as though all I had really achieved was to develop a set of superior coping strategies - okay, so now I was able to hold down a job, have friendships, even develop a long term relationship (we'll be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary this year) - but inside?
I still had to use ungodly amounts of energy to control my emotions, stay in my body, behave 'rationally'... it was only after experiencing Neurofeedback that I actually FELT different - as though the racing thoughts, inability to properly regulate my emotions, intrusive memories, hyper-vigilance, tendency to dissociate, etc...had the VOLUME turned down to manageable levels for the first time EVER.
As I continued with the sessions, and as the neuro-biology began to heal, spontaneous feelings of lighthearted joy began to emerge. Not only that, my ability to concentrate, to perform my daily routines, to engage with my husband: ALL began to organically and effortlessly become more and more enjoyable.
Mind you, I was NOT discussing or 'processing' the trauma with the therapist. Nope. I would show up, recline in a comfortable chair, have a couple of electrodes temporarily glued to my head 😅, then close my eyes and listen to pleasant music for half an hour. Then, I would open my eyes, emerge from the office, and go about my life with increased vitality, good cheer and equanimity. Plus, my cognitive abilities sharpened in ways that are difficult to articulate - but, for the first time ever, I found that I could contemplate traumatic episodes without re-experiencing much distress at ALL. They were being neutralized.
As the CNS re-balanced itself, the quality of life improved in ways both mundane and profound. I KNOW that the mind spontaneously heals as a result of healing the physical aspects. Hope this helps.
@War Stories & Life Changing Advice That's an interesting question, my friend. Some folks would say that the therapeutic relationship is a vital part of healing, and I agree - it CAN be, if one is lucky enough to find a therapist that has processed their own trauma to a sufficient degree. That's a BIG if.
There are things we can do alone that are very helpful, though. I'm currently reading (and working through) "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy" by Francine Shapiro - the woman who developed EMDR.
I've had really good experiences with self-administered Open Focus Meditation, as well. (do a quick google / youtube search). These help us to 're-embody', and are very powerful for dissolving anxiety.
Lastly, I am diligently working toward the day when I can afford to purchase a NeurOptimal home unit.
This is the only form of Neurofeedback that I endorse: unlike traditional models, it does not require the operator to 'assess' the current brain state, then develop a protocol to 'correct' it. No, it simply nudges our brains to find their OWN balance in a non-invasive, utterly private manner.
Although it doesn't seem to have the same effect for everyone, it's MY holy grail. Super expensive to purchase your own unit, but because I've already lived through the benefits, I KNOW that it's worth every penny. This can be self-administered, without any negative side effects.
I would recommend finding a local practitioner and investing in a few sessions to see if you experience the kind of 'state changes' I've described - then decide if investing in this technology makes sense to you.
@Thicketworks
Blah blah blah. Too much empathy for the perpetrators starts to sound like excuse-making.
I don’t know how I missed this one very good openness and transparency
I'm so happy you're posting again. These are very educational
For every quote-unquote perpetrator that you kill three more will pop up in their place because they are not growing out of sexual perversion they're growing out of the spaces we ignore, they're growing out of emotional neglect. You protect children through a sense of community and knowledge this is a massive problem that we're dealing with and it's going to be perpetrators who are healed who helped solve it not victims who become murderers
is the Mild Sexual Abuse of Daughters by Fathers still up? i was interested to watch it, but i cant find it
There are sex predators and sex abusers all over Bowling Green KY. It's really scary and unfortunately very common.
I have been mentally ill for the last 4 years. I am almost sure i was sexually abused as a child, but can't remember anything. It feels like pieces of the puzzle fall together, but still nothing concrete.
The people i talk to dismiss it.
You deserve to know, you deserve to get professional help. It can help you understand how it changed you, help you find your way back to or into the person you would have been without the trauma. It can explain your pain and teach you ways how to begin to stich together the parts of your soul tourn apart by the trauma. People are ignorant, please do everything you can to seek proper professional help. Some trauma therapies are life changing. There's ways of retrieving traumatic memories, or ways of seeing it's effects, the traces it left behind in you. Your experience is valid, your hurt is valid. The way you describe trying to remember, comprehend and piece together things is a sign of trauma. Your mind can be keeping things away from you to try to help you, but this will never heal you. To heal you must know your hurt and it's origin. Understanding trauma is vital in coping with and ultimately recovering from or learning to live with ones mental health issues. Truly wish you the best
@@tyramyra573 thank you. I definetly know there was alot of emotional abuse. I am not sure if there was sexual abuse involved, but i can't rule it out. I am already finding out who i really am, and i can tell you i am a strong motherf*cker. Thank you for your reply.
Keep going. Even if every therapist tells you you’re crazy, keep going.
Even if the memories aren’t there, you just know.
I got the flashbacks this year. People will deny it because they are in denial and too cruel.
I had my mom insist that it never happened. It was my dad.
These people hide in plain sight.
Lots of things are fundamentally messed up in today's world and also in the world of my childhood (1980's - 90's), and probably further back in the past also. Where is there an example of human society without trauma? Without normalized cruelty, bullying, abuse, ridicule, neglect, disregard for well-being? Trying to heal oneself is the best we can do, but it takes more than a lifetime. If only there were something more effective and more powerful that we could do. Talking is important but I fear it's not enough.
Best video I've watched in ages thank you.
I am very interested with the subject of community and trauma. It's wonderful how some people who have been deeply traumatized works so hard to improve their situation and at the same time they are able to understand the dynamic that occured in their surroundings. But it's quite rare. As you said in your previous video, I have the feeling that working on myself really deep is cutting me off from a lot of people. I noticed that every time I try to talk openly about those subjects people tend to get frightened and reject me or they can become agressive. It's like while I'm opening about myself they associate me with being a problematic human being just because I'm open to talk about my problems freely. I wondered if I was too much talking about it but it seems that this is not the issue because I am open to talk about a lot of different things. I'm still wondering how to connect with people properly, not trying to put a mask but not being too heavy about deep stuff that people are not ready to listen too, even if they seemed to at one moment.
Yes! Wanting to be authentic but not feel isolated by sooo many people but then also dont wanna change bc of other people's reactions
I can understand your issues here. If this topic was more openly discussed then it may lessen some of the prevalence. I’m sorry that people try to isolate you for doing this. That is their immaturity
Maybe it's a case of too much information. If the person you're talking to has been abused, maybe they just can't handle the details of someone else's abuse. To share that you were abused is one thing but to go into the details might be too much for them to handle -- too triggering.
... it's not immaturity or lack of empathy, it's fragility. The numbers I've read are one in four boys and one in three girls are sexually abused.
The ordinary person has no training in how to protect themselves from the trauma of hearing stories of trauma. I don't know how psychotherapists shield themselves from the horrible things they hear.
Brilliant. I learn so much from hearing your perspective.
Such a great video. Love you
Thank you for talking about this
Firstly I would like to say thank-you and I appreciate your work on these topics.
But some thoughts..
'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone..' ?
Ive heard that so often in my religious upbringing, and so so often, used as an excuse, not to hold people accountable, especially in the Church. The biggest problem with abuse, is lack of accountability.. I don't think that's the best phrase to use, to approach the idea of understanding perpetrators.
I also think it's a mistake to group abusers, and say they have all been abused, and that's why they abuse.
To say we are all traumatised I can accept, but, there is a broad spectrum, mild trauma should not be conflated with serious forms of trauma. A lot of traumas are really not comparable. In fact, most people who were sexually abused, never go on to sexually abuse, they simply suffer and break down. People should be held accountable for how they chose to respond to their trauma. They have choices, every step of the way, to abuse themselves, or to abuse another person.
There is another factor in abuse, a sense of entitlement, feelings of superiority, feeling the victims are inferior and so due any exploitation that happens them. that's Abuse of power.
I think this sense of entitlement, is often overlooked as a key factor.
Also mothers who have been abused, can often rear sons who will abuse, because of her sense of inferiority, her woundedness, her spoiling and idealisation of the sons..
this is great finally we are healing this its taking me forever to heal trauma
Thank you very much ❤️
❤what a pleasure to listen to your talking .
Wonderful real life insight! So valuable.
Could this sexual abuse trauma be the cause of so many first nations people having alcohol and and drug addictions to over come their pain. I see many of them in my neighborhood.
What can one do to help them?
Absolutely.
They have often had their culture and way of life decimated ,many cannot grasp onto the new world thats swallowed them up and make any sense of it. They have no agency , no power and are often marginalised , excluded and abused .
If they have access to drink and drugs theyll self medicate to mitigate the pain.
If sexual abuse is visited on them from outside its often as a tool of oppression .Its not about the sex its about power, domination, shaming and so often like the bully is someone who has been bullied , the native people adopt abuse as a tool of power and oppression inside their community.
Our so called developed culture is based on selfishness, greed and hoarding and power to us is a legitimate force in that system .
Aboriginal peoples very often hold the community higher than individuals. Empathy, cooperation and consideration are needed for a cohesive community .
We have abandoned many of those ideas .
Margaret Thatcher,
Ayn Rand ,
Neo liberal politics ,
Oligarchs ,
We all adopt ideas of individual triumph and success like its a natural thing .
It will be our undoing
I feel that it's somewhat common for women to be warned about these things at any early age.
Yes. And as much as it's coming from a place of wanting to protect young girls, we also have to acknowledge the negative effects it has on them. When I was 5 my mother put me in a dress. A dress I did not want to wear because I did not like dresses. Later on I was playing with the other kids, running, jumping, climbing, just being a kid. But when I hung upside down on the monkey bars and my dress lifted up I got yelled at to stop doing that, "little boys and perverted men will see your panties!" My mother said. And I was made to get down. Right then, at 5, I became aware of my body. The fact it was being perceived. That not only was I being looked at but that I needed to control myself so that others can control themselves.
I didnt even want to wear the dress.
We think we are protecting young girls but it comes at the cost of policing them.
@@breandadavis3168 I’ve always thought parents were stupid when it comes to putting their girls in dresses. Kids behave differently than adults. They actually run, jump, play, and romp. Putting a girl in a dress and expecting her to have dress etiquette in the toddler age range is ridiculous, so if you’re going to have them wear a skirt, have them wear full legging pants underneath so you can avoid having to make a federal case out of their knickers.
Thanks for the video 👍🏿
Thank you dan!
Thank you for this video
Great video once again!
All organised religion is perfect environment for sexual predators. Pedophiles should face capital punishment.
Has no one in these environments ever heard of RECOVERY WORK. The thing is Daniel is there is no excuse for not getting into recovery. They must know that what was done to them and the trauma it has caused. One has the RESPONSIBILITY to not continue this abuse to others. It is incumbent upon an abuse victim to repair oneself from the trauma inorder NOT TO BECOME A PERPETRATOR. There just is no excuse whatsoever. I knew I never wanted another child to go through what I did so I knew I had to get into incest recovery so that I could raise awareness to all who would listen how this ruins lives. Recovery also facilitated empathy. One needs to get in touch with how hurt and angry u are with the perpetrator and unless u do this u will not have empathy for other victims and u will perpetrate this same crime to whoever in order to get revenge on your perpetrator. Then u have crossed over into ONE OF THEM to really a point of no return and u deserve the worst in life as far as I am concerned.
Damn. At first I thought this was a rant.
But you are right.
In my experience, we have to feel the anger and hurt, otherwise we are acting out of the trauma.
When Dan had empathy for the abuser, I was shocked.
Like, I've always defended my abuser....until I went to recovery.
Now I speak out.
That 'he who casts the first stone's bs was so misguided and cherry picked.
I love Dan, but bro....
Right on Daniel
I am not minimizing this horror but you must know a victim is not destined to become an abuser.
Exactly
Yes they are. Things you learn in childhood get reflected.
We can change destiny though, and that is what you are saying ( I think)
But getting abused does change your destiny. It literally changes your bio chemical makeup.
It does not necessarily perpetuate, it's not a given. That's 100% true, that it's not a given. At least in this current society.
Who you are comes out in your worse monents. If after your worst moment your a grapist then that was always dorment in you.
I've also concluded that near everyone on the planet is acting out from childhood trauma. Even ultra rich people that are actually insecure with less . Sometimes I could see it as a kid. Like when there was war in Northern Ireland and they'd run out of ammo so were throwing rocks at one another and fist fighting. It was the first time I paid any attention to any news. But that kind of fighting I'd seen on the playground. Well not serious war but to a kid on the playground it is serious. I thought out loud about what their mothers would say when they got home. No matter what I was told it appeared no different than a mob of kids brawling. And at some point each kid resolves to do something about it when they grow up. Uh oh...
If the First Nations people have an obligation to recognize the pattern of reproduction of trauma within their history and culture, then too do the Christians who violated them in the residential schools. Those Christians would observe in their doctrine the notion of original sin and its role in traumatizing people for just being human. Sex abuse is but one vector of shame through generations.
I do not think Christianity is a healthy religion for the reasons you elaborate in this post. I'm mainly talking about the type of Christianity where the Bible is taken literally.
What they were dealing with in their tribe is the effects of radical Roman Catholicism which is an entirely different religion that hijacked the name of Jesus Christ and conjoined the church with secular state powers around the 4th century. The organization’s operation is to use a perverse spirituality and military force to subjugate nations and enrich the Vatican. Their very existence is sustained by practices entirely antithetical to the teachings of Christ. His teachings are actually rock-solid, just grossly misrepresented by cults.
Educating children on their bodies is essential to help prevent or report sexual abuse
🤔…the key here tho is the systemic sexual, verbal and psychological abuse that destroyed this tribe and other tribes and other minorities, etc. Combining the spiritual and emotional abuse with the sexual abuse by the very powerful, global Catholic Church is really the tragedy here. It destroyed that tribe. That’s just one community that illustrates the damage of systemic abuse.
This is the very reason it blows my mind that so many young guys my age are embracing the RCC and becoming “Trad-Cath”. They yearn for the religion, structure, and mysticism, but the organization they are submitting to has been unrepentantly involved in some of the most egregious crimes against humanity since the days of Constantine. Genocide, torture, theft, and sexual impropriety are practically their core export; thinly veiled by a gilded and perverted facade of Christianity.
@@bcj842christianity is perverted but natives who becone obsessed with abuse arent.
@@user-dr1td6nd5f I did not say that Christianity is perverse. I said it is often perverted by groups and figures with perverse motives.
@@bcj842 i see. I agree then.
@@user-dr1td6nd5f :)
I see your points about inviting in healing for perps, but there are perps who enjoy hurting others; Healing the Whole is the most important communal task. However, Not every individual will want to do that work or be successful and they will remain dangerous. How do we do a better job protecting children?
Truth and Freedom the answer is so simple ! killing the pedophiles!
We protect the children by creating an environment of healing of knowledge and of safety and of community, we heal the perks by not killing them because for every purpose you kill three more going to pop up in their place
@@mariecc222 I'm sorry for whatever abuse you've been through and also I'm not sure if you just haven't realized it yet and you're going to or if you don't want to but killing perpetrators is not going to solve this problem revenge is not going to solve this problem shame is not going to solve this problem because shame caused it
I always assumed it was because like Black men during slavery, native men had everything taken from them, especially their pride in being able to protect their women and children. Men find it harder to face trauma, so it's been rampantly acted out ever since. Trauma is even found for generations after in people's genes. I think healing happens when feminine energy becomes more mainstream. Men have spent thousands of years traumatizing each other, I think the love and leadership of women will save them.
Okay so what about when women are the abusers? Woman are supposed to be more emphatic than men but that hasn't been my experience, that experience says that more women are selfish.
Can you not compare black people and native people?. It’s racist. Thanks shawty
@@MayaThaRealist No it's not
East or west coast?
Truth!
Hallelujah brother!!! No other way!
Nice to know you.😊
Crimes against children. Where is the justice for the victims? It is heart-breaking, any way I look at it. Innocent children who never got to be innocent children. They had no power and no way to protect themselves.
How do you heal yourself? I have heard forgiveness and not focusing on what was done to you but on what you do and those paths aren't working for me.
Forgiveness should not be part of the equation for victims, instead, victims should only focus on their healing. Secondly, trauma isn't something anyone can forget or should because it's way to protect yourself from future occurrences.
Feel your anger. That is a part of it
Absolutely do what doesn’t hurt right. If it isn’t broke don’t fix it, if there’s challenges coming up for u u can lean into relaxing hobbies and focus on physical movements and visualize calming things and breathe deeply. Focus on things which bring u joy rather than pain, but u can also choose to manipulate and optimize the functionality of that psychological scar tissue through psychotherapy
Yes I would believe this. But people know this is wrong. I was sexually abused but I did not act it out. However in Australia research shows that 38 percent of women generally were sexually abused before the age of 15. That is the only the reported number. In Australia I believe childhood sexual abuse of both genders is very great.
exactly being sexually abused is not an excuse to sexual abuse other ..
Thank you.
Can sexual trauma actually, ever, fully be healed? My journey is telling me no but my right mind tells me its possible?
It's really a good question. I think theoretically, given the right environment, yes, it can!! It's just very hard to find that right environment. The world in general is so un-healing...
@@dmackler58 thank you for being you, I appreciate your response.
@@dmackler58 "We don’t really heal anything; we simply let it go.” -- Carl G. Jung
@@dmackler58Become a New Monastic Individual. You don't have to join a monastery to do that. You can do it anywhere.
Thank you, I feel better now. I feel vindicated.
There is a good video by TheraminTrees on copying abusers
I agree
We have to start having these uncomfortable conversations. Life without parole for any adult having s with a 13 year old or younger is my suggestion
I like drowning punishment best. That would get people off the sex offender’s list.
7:13 Diet first. Language second. I can help with the 2nd.
@Patient Growth > Were u born in the year of the rabbit? 💐
Nay. The Rooster. Have you seen "Watership Down"? In speaking about rabbits, the narrator says:
> All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
Wow!
Don't we as Humans at some point , no matter what has happened to us, realize the difference between right and wrong - GOD help us !
no, narcissists and sociopaths have no conscience or empathy so they need society to rein them in because they lack boundaries. their brains are messed up
Generational trauma
8:57 why not it used to work. Ypu cant prevent this problem but you can play wack o mole when xes offemders pop up.
Daniel, you bring out many complex facets of sexual abuse. It doesn't help anybody to be reductive.
That is your job to do more research on this complex topic and quit blaming someone for being reductive. If u pay attention to Daniel and all of his material he explains this much more serious detail. Sometimes being reductive at the time is for just bringing the topic up at all. We must be do further research if we care about the topic and everyone should care deeply about this bc it is collectively ruinous to children and subsequently society as a whole.
@@laraoneal7284 I think you misunderstood---I could have been clearer.
Christine Badostain I agree with both of your statements.
@@laraoneal7284 I agree, sometimes being reductive at the time is for just bringing the topic up at all in situations where people might otherwise not listen. I'm glad that Daniel is not reductive when discussing the subjects of sexual abuse including childhood trauma(s) in regard to the adult overcomer or potential overcomer thereof.
The woman in the bible caught in adultery had a heart change Jesus could see it repented and wanted to change.
A decision to change our harm to others has to happen.Otherwise things wont change in yourself.Its a sexual addiction and it needs others away from your self to address the patterns and habit.Get help from a proffesional before your actions bring an eternal and cicumstancial out come for you of destruction.You may have your life trauma why continue to bring trauma cycle to others for gratification of the trauma demon get help.
Everything is about sex,
apart from sex,
thats about power .
If I remember correctly, the mosuo became a matriarchy because the men would go to war and die there, so the women became the ones "in charge".
I remember this study they made with baboons where they killed all the aggressive ones and... yes 🤔
She said they couldn't kill them because it was 90% of them, but... 👀
:(
I agree that we should work on ourselves Daniel, we should try to resolve our trauma ! But what I do not agree w is that to kill those predators would be a bad thing! It would be a VERY good lesson for ppl especially men that there are and MUST be consequences and that pay back is due if you ever lay your hand on vulnerable children !
I remember seeing this interview about a man that killed a local pedophile and was sentenced to life in prison, I looked at his face and to me... that wasn’t a murderer, he wasn’t a cruel person! he was just doing what we all should do if we are human beings w empathy and a soul ! He was getting this world rid of this human filth that is walking around out there and thinks that they can get away w anything just because humanism...
it’s not good against evil, cuz what he did wasn’t good, killing someone is never good! But it was necessary, for the dignity and well being of ppl you care about, of ppl that need our protection the most !
No. If you dealt with them you’d feel different. They need to die.
There is no other way. You can’t cure them
Wow
Wow.
And yep, life is traumatizing. People are traumatizing.
Gullah geechee?
fwiw "indian" is and has been an accepted term in the u.s. it is considered short for "american indian" as found in AIM (the American Indian Movement). many American Indians casually refer to themselves as indian and academia is the source of not only "native-american," but all the cumbersome hyphenates we have today. btw Black is back by popular demand!
First Nations you Nimrod
That's how we respect them in Canada.
lol@@lumpyrex007
Jesuit religion 😮
The churchs internal security force
Forever grateful for the resilience and courage of Indigenous women 🙏🏽🤎🤎🤎
Love your content. While abusers trauma is definitely true in many cases..
What about all the abuse and sexual abuse, that's simply greed? Can ALL abusive behaviour be put down to the abuser being 'traumatised'? ..are people 'inherently good' ? What about moral choices?
I see so much pain created, by people who are just greedy and entitled, who take the easy path, the short cuts, because they want what they want and they want it now. They see it as others job to give it to them.
sure we've all committed sins, but no way equivalent to some of the serious sins..
Truth!