Finally Making Children Useful in Stardew Valley
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- I made a booboo in my previous video (Can I MAX My Stardew Combat Skill in One In-Game Day), so I set out to correct that booboo. In the process, we stumbled across the most cursed way to make money and level up combat.
Original video: • Can I MAX My Stardew C...
Video from SeanieDew that inspired these attempts: • Can I MAX My Stardew S...
FAQ:
Q: What was the original challenge?
A: Get from 0xp to lvl 10 in Combat in a day. Check out my previous video for more context, linked above
Q: How fast can you actually get children?
A: Every 15 days. It takes 14 days for a child to arrive. If you dove them immediately, you can get asked the question that night if you should have another.
Q: What is the Monster Slayer goal that pops up?
A: Bats. Under the hood the game still names the cursed dolls as Iridium Bat.
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ConcernedApe has changed his name to VeryConcernedApe.
Dang 😂
Honestly with all the shit you can do in this game I see why his name is ConcernedApe, but he should definitely change it to very concerned ape
ExtremelyConcernedApe
or
ExtremelyWorriedMonkey
😂
Stragnelly Worried Urangutan
best comment
there's one tweet that says "every heartwarming human interest story in america is like 'he raised $20,000 to keep 200 orphans from being crushed in the orphan crushing machine' and then never asks why an orphan crushing machine exists or why you'd need to pay to stop it from being used"
i think this is the orphan crushing machine
TRUE
Damn 😂
Except in this case, you would need to get an iridium needle to stop all the children from being crushed in the orphan crushing machine
@@abigailgriffin-wc3fm but you're the one crushing them in this case
The average Stardew Valley resident having 360 children is a statistical error. Childrens Georg, who has 10,000 children, is an outlier and should not have been counted
Use the meridian
I love how everyone just knows the spiders george meme
cookie clicker reference?
@@2elunatic the youth of today don't know about spiders georg....... smh......................
@@2elunatic nah it’s a reference to a specific tumblr post, called “Spiders George”
i love how this video went from "look at my very old cat very wholesome" to leveling up from killing orphaned children
Liberated. They were liberated
Okay but to be fair, the cat *is* very adorable
When Blade defeated his 5 doved children and said "We don't have to stop at five," was CHILLING.
Sounds familiar doesnt it
20:06
no cost too great
"honey what happened to our 5,000 kids?"
"don't worry about it, also could you help me clean this hammer?"
this method sounds so comically evil i can't believe it actually kind of works
Considering he's killing a bunch of orphans, they sound like something a cartoon villain would do
@@abigailgriffin-wc3fm reminds me of a certain youtuber...
"Daddy's Home! Come at me!" is the funniest line in this whole video, just the raw power of challenging your vengeful children to a fight to the death had me rolling.
The phrase "dove in larva form" dealt psychic damage to me
I don't know why this comment is so funny
why is this as funny as it is- why.
And it only feeds my twisted ideas of "Urban" fantasy.
It seems it was super effective
"can you (adopt,) curse and kill enough orphans to get max combat level in one day?" is not a question i thought i'd hear about stardew valley
Look at this man not crumbling under the weight of his sins
He trains using these weights
Sounds like this could be a quote or something
there is a chance that on the perfection cutscene some of your children will fly by, i wonder if there is a limit
Ooooo wait I really hope he figures that out lol
The sky just fills with doves as all of the town looks up in awe and terror
It’d be like Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’ 😂
There would be enough doves to block out the sun and put a sinister eclipse over pelican town
@@HydrainaPelican Town? I believe you mean Dove Town
So glad you exist to ask these crucial stardew questions, like "What if I doved 10,000 kids, how much coffee could I get from their vengeful batlike sprits?"
"You befriended Kent" *Gives himself 999 bombs*
To be fair, this is pretty much what happens. I generally have an excess of iridium rabbit feet by the time I even meet him, so the bombs come alarmingly quickly.
I wish more of my friends gave me unsolicited live ordinance.
@@SullySadfacespecfically in my mailbox
My favorite part was when someone in chat said "Someone should tell CA it's too easy to level up combat"
I was like "No, eff you bud" when I saw that chat comment... I'm still trying to get to lv 10...
@@whateverabominationwell, now you know how...
time to add "human trafficking" to the possible crimes in Stardew Valley
I love that this comment implies you already have an ongoing list of possible crimes to commit in stardew
Salmence definitely did a video on that, but I think he filed doving children under mutilation, not human trafficking.
I believe the mass adoption of kids would count though
@@tomc.5704Well, if not for the fact that you turned them all into birds, that’s a pretty good thing.
@@alteregobruhHuman transmutation is limited to pet stores
"Save yourself, go somewhere else, we are about to die to 5000 pissed off kids"
Oh Stardew hardcore nuts, never change, please, it's too hilarious for the rest of us
I feel like the cursed dolls should drop frozen tears…
But that would encourage you to kill your children
thats definitely a good idea thematically, though i dont know how CA would feel about dead children dropping useful resources. it feels wrong 😂
It'd be cool if they dropped those voodoo dolls and you could take them to the wizard or an altar of yoba or something to reincarnate them, freeing them from this form, or bring them back as children.
@@lrizzard 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
@@lrizzardSebastian loves the tears of his dead children xD
BlaDe was so caught up in if he COULD do it he forgot to ask if he SHOULD (but of course he should. I love unhinged stardew content)
Of course he should!
It gives (in game) children a use!
@@sefy5082(only in game)
"Is this what it was for CA facing all the people asking when 1.5 would come on mobile" comment in stream chat was golden 😆
My biggest gripe with Stardew is that kids are useless and don't grow up to help you on the farm
All I want is for them to grow up to Vincent and Jas’s age 😭
can't believe child labour isn't in my video game
@@dazcarrr I know right? I want a refund!
@@dazcarrr A Wonderful Life did it by letting the kid grow up influenced by the friends and choices you made with them. The best part about it is the kid could easily not stick around
@@dazcarrr never had to do chores, eh? must've been nice
Still amazes me that one guy wrote this game and it still doesn’t break when doing things like this
One very cool guy
blade i'm more flabbergasted by realising you're using visual code on light mode than doving an abnormal amount of children
some people are beyond the rest of us mere humans
Sinse I have issues with my eyes and wear glasses I literally cannot use dark mode since it makes it very hard to read anything on a dark screen. Don’t know if it’s like that for anyone else who wear them but most likely.
@@izzyzb107I wear glasses and find dark mode easier to read for anything that isn't long stretches of paragraphs
I wear glasses and i live for dark mode, i turn it on basically anywhere i can
"finally making children useful in stardew valley" and its about maxing your combat skill this is why im subscribed
There's something oddly beautiful about the way the swarms of doved children coalesce into formations around you. It's mesmerising. At least, it is until it drops to 1fps!
Real birds do that too.
@@michaelleue7594 yes, it did put me in mind of murmurations.
Blade casually doing things I never thought were possible.
Imagine being married to someone and agreeing to adopt children and then the next day ur new kid is missing, then that happens like 500 times, and also there's a shitload of doves all over town for some reason, I'd be convinced I lost my marbles
Ape is getting more and more concerned everyday...
What kind of adoption agency would allow you to adopt 700 kids? Especially when the previous ones keep disappearing? 😮😂
The memory of them is wiped from everyone's minds, so they wouldn't remember giving you kids previously.
The 682 ancient dolls floating around looks like a crowd of people about to beat up a character in cartoons.
"i do have 2 very lovely kids that i have not turned into doves"
Gotta love when a game lags so hard you have to start measuring seconds per frame
It’s so sweet that our kids remember to bring mommy and daddy some coffee 😂… it only took us turning them into doves.
It would’ve been hilarious if you doved Maru’s kid’s after having robin create the nursery
Omg I never thought of it like that! Poor Robin waiting on grandkids while I’m just creating an army of doved children.
i mean same deal with sebastian, seeing as he's her first kid. if you wanted to spite demitrius....
You realize Sebastian is her kid too, right? Lol
@@georgerobins4110 I guess adopted grandkids aren't considered the same as genetic grandkids to some people?
My mother was upset when she realised neither me or my sister were gonna be able to have kids. I was like 'chill I still want kids, I'll adopt/foster' but she still never got over it.
@@lemolea9571 I mean, you could also play as a girl and do this with Sebastian lol
I like this "BlaDe Live" format of videos, breaks up the scripted nature of his videos! Gives some insight into the thought process of how he comes up with these challenges.
Oh do I have something for you and others who like this format
Search twitch for Bla_De for the best content
@@unknownmgnon Unfortunately I don't have the time to watch the VODs and he's usually streaming at about 1am where I live so I don't get to watch them live :/
Guy is competing with the Pale King for the most children killed world record.
I like to think that you didn’t have 682 kids, instead all the kids are from different bad parents and they just decided to take revenge on you specifically
👀 what the what are you getting yourself into this time?
I'm here before this comment gets lots of likes
Hey it's Marlon!
@@BlaDeSDV it took me watching all of the slime breeding videos twice and then watching this one five times before I got the joke but I finally just got it
If you had a napalm ring, then if enough of them died at the same time, it could do enough damage to kill more of them and cause a chain reaction right?
Hmm one possible way this could be wrong is that maybe getting a napalm ring is only possible through combat xp
@@bio-blob That seems to be the case, according to the wiki you need to complete a task for Gil at the adventure guild to kill 250 serpents in order to buy the ring
@@bio-blobYeah, napalm ring requires combat xp. That being said, infinity gavel/dagger also require combat xp - by the end he was just doing it for fun, not for maxing combat xp. You only need less than 700 of them to max combat xp anyways, and you can do that in multiple trips.
I'm wondering if the explosions would push the dolls too far off the screen before it does enough damage for the kill? I never use the Napalm ring tho so idk.
at this point i dont even care about the combat xp, i just want to see how crazy this can get
If the CPA never caught on, im surprised the witch never put a stop to it lmao. I can't imagine having 10,000 souls of damned children clogging your basement is pleasant
"watch his nose get booped...Boop."
I hope Concerned Ape watches this
"No max amount you can have in the witch's hut" I would reckon the limit is probably the maximum value of an Int32, given the code used to spawn them is a for-loop iterating on a C# int type, which is typically a signed 32-bit integer. I'm not sure how the underlying XML operates, but even if it does read that value as an unsigned 32-bit or a 64-bit long, the value will be capped by that for-loop. (What might actually happen is that the game will freeze, as the Int32 will infinitely remain smaller than the value from the XML)
So the max number of pissed off kids you can get, in theory, is roughly 2,147,483,647 (two billion, one hundred forty seven million, four hundred eighty three thousand, six hundred and forty seven). However, when you start approaching that number of "things" being spawned, you may start to run up against limitations of the game engine itself; for example, each pissed off kid instance may be occupying a slot in an object indexing system alongside things like the player, their inventory, the statues in the room, etc. which may also have a limit of two billion, or even lower, depending on how Stardew Valley addresses and processes its objects. So, the closer you get to that theoretical maximum, the more likely the game will instantly crash due to memory overflow.
Yeah we were talking about int limits during the stream. No feasible limit that any standard player will reach
@@BlaDeSDV and a non-standard player? Naming no names ;)
“Robbin! Get over here! There are children to dove” 😅.
even better, they are technically her grandchildren lol
Most chats: **bad idea**
Most streamers: no chat. I can’t do that. That’s a bad idea.
Computer programmer/essentially professional game breaker streamers: **bad idea**
Their chats: no streamer. Don’t do that. That’s a bad idea.
Oh how the turns table when gamebreakers/programmers/professional chaos
20:55 the pattern of the kids looks like it spells out ‘JERK’. Fittingly
Alternative title:
Created the strongest boss fight in Stardew Valley FT. My kids
The fact that this could be a way to farm coffee is what i love
As of 1.6 you can also farm up void books, golden mystery boxes, and golden animal crackers too! Throw on a parrot trinket for good measure.
Local man clears out every orphanage in hundred mile radius
Penny:i just love kids!
Blade:i use kids to speedrun!
Penny: ...
I literally laughed out loud when the message about the monster slayer goal came on screen :D
Thank you for this horrible, wonderful video!
The rock candy popping up above the swarm of cursed children. Jesus Christ
Today, I sacrificed my children and then killed their angry ghosts! (In stardew valley)
Alternative title:
10,000 Kids Vs 1 Farmer
So, 1 kid per 15 days according to the Desc. 10000 Kids Doved would be just a few days short of 410 years then
He should’ve used the Napalm Ring! It might’ve crashed his computer, but it would’ve been flashy!
I hope Dan watched this so he knows what real evil looks like in this game lmao
Sir, this is so macabre, I love it
You feel your -sins- kids crawling on your back.
I'm surprised he hasn't been arrested for stealing a NASA supercomputer
me, 25 minutes in. "wow, 2000 kids was funny! that's a cool conclusion to this video"
*checks timestamp*
there's 15 more minutes of killing undead children...
always super fun to watch blade absolutely stretching this game to its absolute limit
I genuinely laughed so hard during this. The "rip headphone users" sound sounded just like the static on old tvs, and also when my cat plays with a plastic bag, beautiful.
Love that this video also answers the question "how many dead children to crash your computer"
Eventually the problem is that by trying to stay at 0 combat experience, each trip to go dove new children is more difficult?
Oh wait while writing this i realized that youd just not check the tv until 682 or whatever doved children, so your trips to the hut are peaceful until The Day.
I doubt Concerned Ape ever thought that "How much coffee can i get by massacring the dolls inhabitted by the vengeful spirits of the 10,000 children i sacrificed" would be a question asked about Stardew Valley.
Booping Sebastian is hilarious!
I have no words other than DEAR GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE
This was a very fun stream to be there for, and the video does a stellar job of capturing the energy of that stream
Using insane game knowledge to do absolutely ridiculous things like this will always be funny.
I've never had so much fun watching one man try to crash his computer. :D Waay too much fun was had by all. :)
1:30 blade has gotten so strong that he is transcending the mortal plane
i know this sounds weird, but the sound when Blade was fighting the kids sounded kind of cool, like the kids are getting run over with a lawnmower.
You should see if you can do multiple skills from nothing to level 10 in one day. Combat and farming should be possible together. Maybe more
That’s one hell of a title for a video on combat exp
It's hillarious how he chose Sebastian, after all neglection he became even worse parent than his father xD
The audio equivalent of sticking your head in front of a sandblaster
Okay if I watch this now, I can still watch something afterwards to stave off the nightmares this video will probably induve
I love this genre of ultimate relaxation game turned to incredibly technical execution test (all your recent uploads). Im also into many technical games like Melee and FGC type stuff so juxtaposed with the things I do in my own free time, i love this shit lol, GO stardewww!
DF would be proud
Now I understand why Argon said this stream was WILD... Good video, keep up the great work!
The wich when she comes back:
What... the... heck!??
You know the lag is bad when the audio starts stretching, holy smokes
That was me spamming the keyboard as well as the mouse
i dont even need kids to be useful i just wish they'd grow all the way up and have a genetics system lol
Please do a video what’s the earliest you can turn your children into doves
depending on if "days married" counts from proposal or day of wedding, either 4th or 7th summer
dangerouslyfunny would approve of these shenanigans
Extracting coffee from doved love beans.
this is like someone having a nightmare about math
Can't you just use the key to the town to get in to the adventurers guild?
here comes the son
“Behind this door I have 5000 angry children”. Ok, Ghengis 😂
The best way to get coffee in stardew valley
I never thought I'd watch mass murder with relaxing music playing in the background with a friendly face in the front of it all.
682 of them you say?
new scp lore dropped
Wonder what DF’s combat would be?
This channel never fails to satisfy my need for complete and utter ludicrousity.
First this crashed BlaDe's PC, then it bluescreens my PC - truly a haunted run
"Doving children is profitable": somehow the video got even more cursed. haha
What was the first person you romanced for emotional reasons not Speedrun reasons?
Fun fact. I gave up playing casualy before I got married. I made loads of lightning rods at the beginning of Fall and it never thundered...
i was pretty sure the slimes on the farm thing wasnt going to work since ive tried using the slimes in the secret woods to get the 10 slimes and it doesnt count either
another banger from stardew valley RNGod