DM's, What are your favorite useless magic items?
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The "literally bottomless drinking mug" appears to be a normal drinking mug until you put a liquid into it. No matter how much you fill it. It's always going to be empty.
Never throw that cursed thing in the ocean... 😂
@jellysquiddles3194 how to turn a joke item into a world ending catastrophe
If acid couldn't eat it, throw it in and wait. Same with lava or any other liquid, assuming it cannot destroy the cup.
I would think that a bottomless drinking mug just has an illusion that makes it seem it has a bottom and anything you put into it would just fall through the bottom. The unfillable mug would more likely be an 'endless mug of holding' to me.
@@Avseraph It would be mug of holding if you could recover the items.
To me bottomless literally means that, so there would be no way to recover it without magical shenanigans.
Stick of returning.
You throw it, and after a few seconds it floats through the air back to you.
People who can see into the Ethereal see a dog pick it up and carry it back to you.
I love this
.*gasp* You could make a self-returning arrow out of it!
edit: fixed accidental markdown
I've seen this before.
@@GeorgeDCowley probably. It's not my idea. I found it somewhere, but I love it.
"good boy!"
* Trys to pet dog's head but hand fases through it *
"Damnit"
A scroll of duck: Summons a single duck that honks and attacks the nearest person(usually the summor).
Twin to the Scroll of Squirrel. Instead of chance to attack there is a chance to leap upon then jungle-gym the nearest humanoid.
Untitled duck game
How about Scroll of Duck the Duck off?
When used, the summoner hears a voice that is extremely *done* with your shit and demands why it should help you. This voice is ducklike. The summoner must roll for persuasion. If they pass, the voice will sigh exasperatedly and a swarm of very, very angry ducks will attack the target provided, causing 2d4+10 damage. Then they will angrily turn and wheel into the distance. The party will later be assaulted by 1d4+3 ducks, pissed at having been made to do that earlier. If the summoner fails, they will immediately be turned into a duck that will attack the target for 1d4-1 damage. The target may make a (fairly low) roll to dodge. If they do dodge, the sunmoner is turned into a roast duck for 2 rounds and will spend the next two sessions having to pass a consave to not quack at the most inopportune times.
Let’s be real here. What is the armor class & hit points of a single duck?
“Is that your sandwich? Not anymore!”
I think my favorite one I saw online was Cowhide boots. When wearing all cows in a one mile radius become invisible, instantly hostile, and know your location.
This sounds like some weird nextbot or something
Have you ever seen a cow in person? That sounds terrifying 😮 they're huge ....
@@NeoIsrafil my grandparents old home in finland is in a place called kalajoki, and there are lots of cows around the place, and we sometimes go watch them when were vacationing there
Sounds like a funny cursed item
"Local cows want to know your location
[Allow] [Allow]"
McGuffin's Gem: An enchanted gem that convinces any intelligent creature that looks at it (DC 18 Wisdom save) that it holds great magical power, specifically of a sort important to themselves. A creature that learns its true purpose is immune to this effect. Was named after the gnome wizard who made it to trick thieves into ignoring his real treasures. Accidentally started a giant extraplaner war.
Now I want a BBEG who robs the players of their magic items, only to find himself with a bag of squirrels and ring of rings.
I have a big bad whose gimmick is that in place of one of his attacks he can attempt to steal and use one of your items (originally made to punish my players for hoarding their damn potions)
useless or otherwise genuinely counterproductive items would be an absolutely hysterical way to get the better of him
@@Starfloofle the Tankard of Incredible Power would be so funny for him to get
or scrolls of duck.
I once heard about a Used Bag of Holding: functions identically to a normal Bag, except its exterior appearance is worn with use and age, and anything you pull out of it is coated in a thin layer of glitter
I added the item to a catalogue of homebrew item, but the item is pink and glittery, and it was owned by queen bouclaire of chylandria, watch the fools gold series to understand why lol
@@lilylunamoonyt you have excellent taste
Cloak of billowing.
For a bonus action you can make your cloak billow dramatically as if in a breeze.
Has no mechanical benefit
It totally gives +5 to Perform (theatre) and +2 to heroic speeches
Literally Darth Vader's cloak, that thing was flowing in the vacuum of space.
@@Merrsharr I’ve on occasion granted a bonus or advantage if someone remembered to use it
I think this was made by the same craftsman as the Skirt of Spinning.
@@LegorocketsAnimation +5 gender euphoria modifier
Pebble of Inconvenience: A pebble that, unless you carry it with you, always appears in a place where it can cause trouble. Need to sneak? Whops, you kicked the pebble into a metal bucket, alerting everything withing 50 feet. Trying to climb a wall? Sorry, there was a pebble there, causing you to loose your grip. Going to sleep? Good luck finding the pebble that's somehow ended up under the bedsheets/sleeping roll.
I had an item on a wheel of magic items. Pet rock (it's a pet rock).
And the only way to carry it without it falling off yourself is to place it in your shoe.
What's funnier is that this is uselessly useful with the right group and mindset. Need that character to be stealthy? Convince them they are needed as a distraction and to send them off expecting combat. Ends up in the enemy hands? Congrats you just won.
@@tcrpgfanNah, the pebble will just fall off the sky and knock them out before they have a chance to do anything
@@gt4lexDude... It's not the one person planning that shit, but the rest of the group. The rest of the group has an actual plan, and only tells pebble wielder a fake version of the plan so that they can do what the rest of the group wants him to do. To put it simply... TASK FAILED SUCCESSFULLY!
my "favorite" dumb item i gave my players once was an "orb of advice"
i just gave them INCREDIBLY vague advice based on a d20 roll when they ask a question, like a magic 8 ball. Usually it'd be 1 word answers that encourage them to proceed with the adventure lol
That'd be great, just give em horoscope type advice, that could apply to basically anyone. 😂
Augury spell then
"Orb of advice, will I ever be happy?"
"Well little shit, if you make the right decisions you may be happy"
"Uhh what are the right decisions?"
"The ones that aren't the wrong decisions"
"Ok well what should I do?"
"The smart thing"
"What is the smart thing?"
"You'll never guess..."
"Why? What is it?"
"It's not the dumb thing....."
"FUUUU-"
@@Nezha_Main"orb of advice, should I leave my girlfriend or should I stay with her?"
"Yes"
"Yes to what?!"
"No".
The Serum of Falsehood sounds very useful if you are accussed of a crime, actually did it and can get the witness to drink it :D
The Chainbelt of Invisibility is probably extremly funny, if u put it on a flying monster.
And the fact that every magical item is always useful as ammunition since they are so hard to destroy.
The serum of Falsehoods can also be used to make groups of enemies distrust each other if you can somehow slip it into their food or drinks.
Always forget that magic items are hard to break normally. Just turn the wand of magic misses into a crossbow bolt. Helpful since I used to play a 3.5 game in high school where arrows breaking after use was common. You only got, on average 75% of your shot arrows back.
Or could it be used before someone subjects you to a zone of truth or something.
The ‘Ring of Rings’ is broken as f*ck because of the fact that it stacks.
Artificers, Dwarfs, and anyone that can etch things onto jewelry know what I’m talking about.
@@vaulthunterfromterra4053Artificers are OP and I know exactly what you mean. 😅
Ring of Fire Detection:
Range: Touch
Ring of Fire Detection +46
Range: 700 kilometers.
Amulet of Awesomeness. Amulet that is always telling you how awesome it is. It never stops and everyone can hear it.
[Unstoppable Rod]
Often mistaken for the more famous Immovable Rod at first glance, the Unstoppable Rod functions in rather the opposite way as its counterpart. When the button on the rod is pressed it becomes magically incapable of remaining stationary -- the rod will move in a randomized way (1d20 x 5 feet per round, at the start of the turn of the creature that activated it), rolling or bouncing or jostling as though a thing alive. After two rounds the rod gains Swim and Fly speed as well, using the same randomized movement. If the rod moves into or through a space occupied by a creature or other object it does 1d20 magical Bludgeoning damage if the creature fails a DC 12 Dexterity Save (objects automatically take damage). Any creature attempting to hold the rod in place must succeed on a DC 30 Strength Check, at which point the rod is considered Grappled (failing the check results in the creature taking 4d6 magical Bludgeoning damage and being knocked Prone). Any creature attempting to grab onto the rod while active must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity Check -- on a success, the creature is pulled along with the movement of the rod until they let go. Pushing the button while the rod is active will deactivate it... but this is easier said than done.
It is said that some Unstoppable Rods have, once activated, gone on an unceasing rampage of chaotic destruction that would put armies and dragons to shame. No one knows what happens when an Unstoppable Rod and an Immovable Rod collide...
... the immovable rod takes 1d20 magical bludgening dammage.
The Unstoppable Rod just bounces off lol
good lord this is complex
@@Green24152 -- Really no more complex than the Immovable Rod. This is the "useless" magic item for a DM who wants to cause the party a bit of chaos that they can't simply stab, Smite, or Fireball their way out of.
They pass through eachother
I once gave my players 'drow sword - glows in the presence of palindromes.' I have never seen a magical item cause so many arguments (until they named their dinosaur Hannah).
Honestly as it is a sword that always glows, it will be a great flashlight in caves
Okay, the Boots of Dryness would be a must have for any adventures. Especially if it keeps the socks dry as well.
No PC would want to end up with trench foot, so I see this as a plus.
If your running a magical ww1 campaign this is a must have for officers.
That dagger of suspicion could actually be a useful distraction
As a DM, it could serve as a funny red-herring to lead your party down a pointless chase. Have them think this dagger may be a relic of some unidentifiable eldritch horror... Maybe there are cultists near where they found the dagger, maybe the town or even the entire world is in danger of a cosmic abomination being summoned! But no, it's really just a very weird dagger.
But can you trust it will work even as a distraction?
I mean, there's clearly something wrong with it! It'll certainly betray us!
Yeah right it could have convinced somebody that a normal NPC is a high-level rogue and get you to accidentally hire them
My GM gave me a Magic Rock. It heals whoever it hits for 2d4. Notice I say "Hits", because it must be thrown to work, and deals 1d4 damage, THEN rolls to heal. I am saving it for when I must heal an NPC I don't particularly want to.
Nice, now get a crossbow designed to throw rocks which will switch the D4 to a d10 of a physical and you get the 2D4 worth of healing damage versus a undead target.
The Clubs of Nunchukularity. It's two small clubs, and their special enchantment is that when you tie them together with a rope, they gain the statblock of nunchuks. Nunchuks and clubs have the same statblock.
Hey, wait a minute!
That's just a ripoff of Swordchucks!
I like swords ...
9:46 in so far the most useful item I mean, need to infiltrate a masquerade ball and then get away, and not only do people not know who you are under the mask they can’t even agree on what color your dress was
Usefull for infiltration but it has weirdly specific conditions so kinda inpractical
@@fernadogonzalez2940 what conditions?
The "Gauntlets of mini might" would probably actually be really useful for a surgeon, or perhaps even a craftsmen
A jeweler would find them immensely useful
Trafalgar law would agree with you
One of my favorites that I made years ago: the sword of soup. Under the detect magic spell this sword is faintly magical, radiating a faint aura from the school of enchantment. Unfortunately, it’s only magical effect is that every 1d4 hours whoever bears this weapon must make a dc 15 wisdom saving throw or be compelled to make soup out of 1d4 random items in their inventory. The soup is not magical, and usually not edible. This sword was found in a raid of Drek’s Bargain Magic Items, and was among a number of defective magic items such as the Helm of Halfling Stature and the Immovable Hammer.
it's name vaguely reminded me an SCP object called "salsa hammer" - a sledgehammer, which turn a live tissue into a salsa on the impact, huh.
A Falsehood serum can be situationally useful, for instance if a PC finds themselves captured to be tortured for information.
I wonder if it can counteract a Zone of Truth?
I'm fairly certain this isn't an original idea of mine
Sword of Warning; This 3 foot modestly decorated and expertly crafted sword is subjected to a powerful enchantment that gives it a personality.
The personality is fully aware as if it had 20 feet of blind sight and can, but doesn't need to sleep.
At dawn the sword predicts the future and is compelled to say if "Something bad will happen today~".
Should the wielder, or any of it's allies, during the next 24 hours be subjected to something unfortunate or a minor inconvenience like pricking the hand on a rose thorn, getting a paper cut, or lightly going through their ankle the sword will say that it had warned them.
“I warned you !” (Elongated vowels, often off camera).
-Puffin Forest
A cloak of invisibility. But it only works when nobody is looking at you
Cloak of Invisibility: Becomes invisible when worn (only the cloak, the wearer remains visible,)
This seems useless, until you realize people look at a single point in space. You'd still be invisible if someone looked your way as long as they aren't looking directly at your current location. And unless you're against a wall or the person only has one eye open, they'll be looking past you most of the time.
It can't be used for getaways, but it will be amazing at infiltration. You'd still have to be stealthy though.
Do constructs count as “somebody”? Because this could be useful for sneaking past magical security systems in the dead of night. Perhaps as part of a heist to steal a REAL cloak of invisibility!
This ... Could actually be extremely useful if you think someone is scrying you, you'd just need some privacy to check.
Ring of Sleep: This ring will cast sleep on you every minute while you are asleep.
That sounds great for insomniacs who can't sleep a full night. You just need someone to take it off you at a set time as you'd never wake up otherwise. Technically if someone went to sleep alone without visitors it would eventually kill them.
@@alastor7915 Friendly gift from humen to elves, annoyed at needing to sleep 8 hours when elves get by only sleeping 4.
If you’ve got any intrigue in your campaign, the cursed ring of curses seems like a great item. Just imagine what you could do to some noble’s reputation if you managed to trick them into thinking it was a gift from someone important before a big social event.
“Ah yes, this ring was given to me by our damned king.”
In fact, a bit of deception could go a long way with many of these.
Imagine using the Boots of the Mermaid to convince people that someone is a disguised mermaid, or a merchant using the Pierceless Spear to convince a crowd that they’ve created a cloth so strong it can block an all out attack from a giant or a smiting paladin.
The ring of monologue would be perfect for disrupting spells that use verbal components. Can't cast the spellif you can't say anything.
It could be amazing if you were to use it after casting something requiring concentration, begin monologuing, and force everyone else to act around you and not target you for the whole duration. Use it with something like Sickening Radiance and start talking crap about how screwed they are and how awesome you are. Perfect item for a snarky Bard.
@@glennschroeder3828 Or perhaps you use the Ring of Monologue to distract them from whatever invisible/hidden guy(s) might be up to, if they think the wearer is the only one there. Just because the _wearer_ can't take actions while talking doesn't mean their _allies_ can't. It could be a clever way to exploit perceived self-importance by being a window to act right under their noses.
Figured the Ring of Monologue would be a standard issue item for any BBEG.
it's like a giant channeled silencing spell
Diadem of the Exodiegetic Ost (needs Attunement): Once per day, the wearer can use an Action to activate this circlet. For the next 2 hours, they will hear all any and all background music, foley sound effects and musical stings and cues that would be audible to an audience, were their life a dramatic production. No-one other than the wearer can hear this. Does not impede normal hearing (unless the noises from the circlet would drown out normal noise).
By itself, flavourful and of some tactical advantage, as the character would be able to hear boss music starting, or the Metal Gear 'guard alerted sound'. However, it also comes with two cursed variants: one which scores their life as the wrong genre (comedy moments as tragedy, romance as horror, grief as upbeat romance, etc.); the other works exactly like the normal Diadem, except it plays the background music for somebody else's life.
I made a magic sword that did something similar - except that everyone could hear it. The sword's name was Showtime. The main drawback was that it Just. Would. Not.Shut. Up. You can just imagine what stealthing around would be like...
During my very first campaign in 3.5e, my DM thought it would be hilarious to award our CE Sorcerer with a self-replicating Silver Spoon, similar to all of those cups in what's-her-face's vault in Harry Potter. It was a Masterwork item that did absolutely nothing, until you used the magic words. The magic words were to give it a name. For example, if the OWNER called it a Dinner Spoon, any time it came in contact with something that could be construed as a dinner meal, it would spontaneously burst into 1d20 copies of itself. If the copies touched "Dinner," they too would burst into 1d20 spoons for 1 hour. During our campaign, we were falsely imprisoned after being framed by the BBEG. One of the guards decided the spoon looked like a great keepsake. Well, unfortunately for him, it was quite possibly the worst decision of his life. Our sorcerer said to the guard, "Hey! That's my Soup Spoon." This was just before he was punched in the face and we were left to a roar of boisterous laughter.
About an hour later, screams were heard from the top of the stairs leading to the kitchen, the clanging sounds of flatware bouncing off the floor, and then a loud metal gong as soup pot fell over, spilling its contents onto the floor. After a few minutes, a deluge of spoons flowed down the stairs, carrying all of the guards, the cook, the dog, the BBEG's henchmen, and wizard until they were crushed into back wall of the prison. Our DM was flabbergasted because one innocuous joke item had single-handedly ruined a months worth of campaign material. Let this be a lesson to everyone, The Tick was right all along, and the power of the almighty SPOON should not be trifled with.
Not a useless item, but an fun cured one.
So Jay, Randy, and Luna make up the party. I forget their character names. Anyway, they're stuck in the Library of Eldenbrooke, the place that makes the Bermuda Triangle look like a kiddie pool. Their mission? Nabbing the Map of All Things, a treasure that's like Google Maps on magical steroids. Jay's packing Thesara's Fading Compendium-an ancient sentient spellbook, except it has dementia.
Jay approaches this riddle-engraved pedestal and asks the book for advice. Now, here's where it gets interesting. We have Thesara roll for its "Arcane Wisdom with Dementia" ability. Rolls a d20... and it's a 17! Solid. Thesara, sounding like Gandalf if he were your grandpa who can't find his keys, mutters, "Ah, yes, the riddle. Just say 'I always lie,' my boy."
Jay utters the phrase and I have him roll for Wisdom... He gets a 22! The pedestal vibrates and everyone holds their breath. But hang on, Thesara needs to roll for its "Reliability Check" because, well, dementia. Rolls a d20 again... and it's a 3.
Instead of the Map of All Things, an accordion manifests. Thesara chuckles and says, "Oh my, it appears I've mixed up my magical catalog, eh? That’s your Map of All Tunes!"
Luna rolls her eyes, rolling a 10 on her "Patience Check," undecided if she should laugh or scream. Randy rolls a 1 on his "Composure Check" and bursts into uncontrollable laughter. We do this sorta shenanigans for flavor.
Thesara then attempts to save the day. "Wait! I remember now! The Map materializes with a melody!" Time for Thesara's "Last-Minute Save" roll... and it's another 3. The accordion self-destructs into a rain of keys and buttons, like a piñata at a failed birthday party.
As they all stand there, dumbfounded and covered in accordion debris, Thesara, momentarily clear-headed, says, "Ah, I forgot to tell you, sometimes the magic does have a mind of its own." Then, true to form, it concludes with, "Who are you again?"
deck of many bees: each card drawn summons a number of bees that are on the card. they may sting you but ultimately are harmless (unless you're allergic to bees)
Not useless if you're a beekeeper.
@@WorldWalker128 you know... now that wotc came out with The Book of Many Things and the Cartomancer feat, i could see a swarmkeeper with cartomancer using this deck... lol
Wand of Magic Mussels - summons 3 Mussels that sing "Hello. Hello. Hello!" and the disappear
Wand of Magic Muscles - Creates a cheap minor illusion of muscles on up to 10 willing targets within 100 feet of you. The muscles will not pass any checks when investigated.
Cursed Ring of Fish - When equipped, gives you a swimming speed of 20 feet. Curse: while equipped, roll a d6. An illusory fish of 1) Tiny to 6) Gargantuan (species of fish TBD by DM) will appear when you awake after a short or long rest. No one else can see the fish.
Orb of Defection - Can only be used once per day. When used on an object, it will inform you if it has a defect.
Deck of Mini Things - Each card drawn has a chance of magically conjuring miniature version of something.
The deck of mini things just sounds adorable. Unless it just is still the same cards as the many things... Tho, idk, a tiny grim reaper coming for your soul still sounds cute af.
Also, make sure the fish is a major illusion or whatever, one they can actually touch and feel. Unless it makes a fake living fish that just swims around in the air, not just one like, dead on the ground.
@@ElderonAnalas The joke would be Day 1 with the ring after you wake up, you might see a goldfish the size of a whale just going "blub. blub. blub" at you for a bit. It would be disturbing. After a nap, you see a really tiny clown fish. The next time you wake up in the morning, you see a catfish the size of a shark. Just let the player have fun roleplaying if they go a little crazy from the random fish just staring at him, or if they just go "hello Nemo", Hello Dora", "oh, that one again" like it's nothing.
Orb of Defection - Can only be used once per day. When used on an object, it will inform you if it has a defect. *If it has none, one will be created.*
Stupid question: The Orb of Defection works on objects. Slaves are considered property, sometimes to the point of being called 'objects' depending on a culture's view of slaves. So from that standpoint, if you used the Orb of Defection on a slave up for auction, would it tell you if a slave was retarded or had a mental issue in general?
Another question:
And what about Golems? You run into a war golem or whatever but you can't tell what its weakness is. It's not a person, and since it's a construct some might argue that it's an Object. Could you use the Orb of Defection to learn what the Golem is vulnerable to?
@WorldWalker128 interesting perspective I suppose it has more to do with the conceptual view of objects based off of the creator of said orb. IE up to the DMS discretion . Personally I'd probably let you use it against the golem but not necessarily the slave. However if you were to name that word for a famous slave owner giving it a particular history and time and place anchoring it to the world then I suppose it could be used in that fashion it would just need a more extensive backstory.
Rock of gravity detection, a rock that hangs on a rope that says which gravity is. Also functions as rock of weather detection.
Stone of healing: does 1d4 points of healing but in order to heal yourself you need to hit yourself with it and take damage for 1d4+strength modifier
That would be incredible for some people actually, barbarian raging but hurt? Throw the rock at them, they resist bludgeoning! Got a lycanthrope in the party? Even BETTER, they're immune to non-magical bludgeoning damage! Fighting an undead that gets hurt by positive energy? This rock deals 2d4+strength mod damage to them! I like this rock. :)
@@LinkDawnbringer thx man we've just started with dnd but we didn't though of this possibility yet, the Stone was created to be a Joke item but one of my Players is using it as some sort of Stress relief and interrogation tool
Eh, can be good for someone with a negative strength modifier
Also get a crossbow modified to fire rocks adds range of 30 ft and swap a base 1d10 bludgeoning for the str bonus. Not to mention if you give that stone to a squirrel and it hit you with it's Str of 2 the modifier of -4 actually increases the heal rate by +1~3
Shoutout to bethesda's Morrowind for giving us the Boots of Blinding Speed which make you too fast to control and also blind you. Also the scrolls of Icarian Flight, which let you jump over 200ft high while doing nothing to mitigate the subsequent landing.
The Unblocking Shield sounds like it'd be made of tin-foil 😂
The serum of falsehood and suspicious knife seem ultra useful for deceit
In my old Arclands campaign, there were these magical artifacts called "primal rings", which were rings that could be made of any sort of naturally occurring mineral, the power of which varied greatly between rings, with more rare minerals having more powerful effects. (Also there are only one of every primal ring, and are ranked from F to S tier).
Cut to an encounter against a bounty hunter who attacked the party's base trying to reclaim something from them, I tell the party "they are wearing a primal ring, and it looks VERY powerful". The party treats them like they're a robber holding a gun and hands over the object willingly.
Later, the party realises they left behind their ring with a note basically saying "ya, I don't need this anymore".
Then they cast identify and turns out it was an F tier fools gold ring, who's only ability is to appear like a really powerful primal ring.
The wand of magic misses would be good for theater
Bejeweled eyepatch of one-eyed insight: this fancy eyepatch grants the wearer 24/7 TrueSight, but only in the eye that is currently covered, and only until the eye is uncovered. The eyepatch is magically opaque to the wearer, no matter what
Ring of Kung Fu theater. Favored by some monks, this ring causes several effects:
1: Causes the wearers voice to not coincide with their mouth's movements. (I.E. appears badly dubbed)
2: Changes voice to exaggeratedly masculine/feminine.
3: Fast movements cause "Whooshing" or "Snap" and "Crack" noises, with blows causing loud impact noises.
4: Leaping and/or running causes "Fluttering" noises to surround the wearer.
Should add, for extra comedy, that it makes the wearer look like they're wearing a yellow tracksuit with black stripes running down the side.
"Wand of emotional damage"
It can only cast Vicious mockery, but if you fail the attack, it will cast it against the user ignoring all AC and resistances. It also gives a -5 to all attack rolls.
The reason it was useless its because the party was a high level party and having all your attack rolls have a -5 meant youll always get hurt.
Rope of Entanglement. As an action you can spend 10 silver to instantly entangle one creature you can see with the rope. The creature that is entangled can spend a reaction and 11 silver to reverse the entanglement to the caster.
I like this, though I'd have it so that a little bidding war would occur and the rope would obey whoever was willing to pay it more.
And what happens to the coin persay
@@MstrPhoenixMHD Ask the rope. It's the one that says it needs the coin. "No coinsss no worksss."
@@Lemonz-418 yeah sure I've got the coin but the real question is what do I see exactly when I give the rope said coin, and how do I give the rope said coin
@@MstrPhoenixMHD you pull the coins out of your pouch and it slithers around you hand and they disappear.
Like a nope rope.
Okay, hear me out. The Coin of Exchange COULD be useful IF you don't need a physical merchant or shop in which to exchange it. Like you merely think of goods worth its value while holding it, and you near instantly have said goods. Granted, it would also depend on its face value, but used at a good time, it could help to prevent a TPK.
Consider a career in law, or a career as a Cambion. Either one, you'd be good at. 😅
The bag of Braggings. You found this item typically by hearing a voice coming from it. That complain that it is in fact
empty. It work exactly like the bag of holdings. But once you put something less to most valuable in it.
It will brag itself to hold it. "I'm so proud to hold 5000 gold coins!" or "This sword is so shiny! Everyone shall know I hold it in mee!!"
the chainbelt isn't useless it's perfect for intimidation/persuasion checks where some acts as a ghost! the chain sounds and smoky smell can be used for added effect!
The Staff of Ogeb was interesting; I would have it keep basically all of its features but also be the origin point for staffs with the exact same ability for followers of other Deities, each with a slight twist depending on the nature of the deity.
It's, definitely a very good lore item for that religion. Orks want to steal your gold statue, well make it look like a clay mold instead. The party comes onto an old ruined temple and finds the staff and the dead bodies and a large clay statue, revealed to be gold if they try moving it or breaking the clay off in some way.
The tunic of distraction:
Not visible to the wearer, on the front the viewer sees writing compelling them to read what is on the back of the tunic, while on the back they read writing compelling them to read the front.
Ring of invisibility: an ordinary iron ring that is completely invisible to any and all entities observing it.
Rain umbrella: an umbrella that when opened gathers nearby moisture and pours it downwards in a rain-like fashion.
Sword of peace: a sentient sword that will REFUSE to harm anything and anyone.
Reminds me of my campaign's "Masks of Muffling" which is a full face mask that when worn muffles all the words spoken from within them sounding much like the Pyro's mask from Team Fortress 2.
Necklace of Benevolence:
the king of a small but growing wanted a way to ensure no assassin can kill him, so he asked for a magic item that will literally stop any attempt on his life
this necklace make's anyone with hatred or killing intent to the wearer unable to harm anything by dispelling any magic, physical, or mental attacks to the wearer and makes the attacker unable to even clench their fist or walk in any capacity so long as the wearer of this necklace was within 100 meters, however, this only works on sentient beings, so monsters and animals are undeterred and poisons and natural causes were also unable to be stopped by it
Despite over 1000 assassins being stopped by it for over 20 years, the king, however, failed to consider someone poisoning or tampering with his food which, since this wasn't magic, physical, or mental, the necklace couldn't stop it, leading to the kings death, what's sadder is the fact it was later the king died due to an allergic reaction he had to the food he ate
The magical duck
Each time the wearer say "duck" or make the sound of a duck, a duck appears. It has a small chance to be magical, and magical ducks can be hostile. Magical duck disappeared after a small time.
It's only useless if you have a lack of imagination...
Some of these awaken the court jester within me...
Give me some bellshoes and a yellow rubber chicken, and I'm all set for making a golem laugh itself to pieces...
Now I want an elven bard that can talk with animals, and just so happens to be good friends with the rats inside the bag of rats.
So many possibilities for plot, lore, combat *AND SHENANIGANS*
Imagine you're sitting around a campfire, and you notice the Elf bard, arguing with a rat, that you swear you saw get smashed by a big mallet in that last fight yesterday. When you ask the elf about it, he just shrugs and says that Julius Cheesar doesn't like being bait.
The Sphere of Potential Augury
You can use this black Orb to cast the Augury spell. When attempting to do so, the DM rolls a d10 and reveals something according to the roll. The Orb can be used multiple times per day and does not suffer the penalty of alternative results that the spell entails, but the DM must still roll the d10.
1 or 2: The Orb says, "Weal"
3 or 4: The Orb says, "Woe"
5 or 6: The Orb says, "Both"
7 ot 8: The Orb says, "Neither"
9 or 10: The Orb successfully casts Augury
Basically, a magic 8 ball.
I gave my players the Plush Bandicoot. It’s exactly what it sounds like: a scruffy looking, low quality Crash Bandicoot plushie produced sometime in the mid-90s by Sony Computer Entertainment. It features a pull string that, when pulled, will cause the plushie to spin in place, slowly, and say “Whoa.”
That, and the Blatant False-Hood. It’s a leather hood and cloak said to be made out of the remains of a false hydra, capable of bequeathing some of the creature’s insidious power to the wearer. Unfortunately, the enchantments on it were done incorrectly, and it now works in reverse. The wearer will no longer be able to perceive other humanoids while wearing the False-Hood.
I like the eversmoking bottle we were fighting a beholder and my character was a smoking addict so he wanted to go out what he loved. Being in smoke and we later realized the beams can't hit us because the beholder needs sight to hit us.
Yah ^_^ it is basically covered in eyeballs. Stands to reason that it wants to see you real good to be able to kill yA. 😅. Nice
I'm just picturing the party bard's player whipping out a phone as the smoke obscures the area. Bard: "When the room's obscured with smoke, I cast Minor Illusion to make a song echo down from 30 feet in the air." DM(sighs): "What song?" Bard(presses play on phone): *"They/Said someday you'll find/All who love are blind/Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh/When your heart's on fire/You must realize/Smoke gets in your eyes..."*🤣🎶
A lot of these could find in game use. Not sure this was truly a list of useless items but it gave me a few ideas.
The keyhider ring would actually be pretty useful for cell guards. Any prisoners trying to escape would become unable to find the damned keys. And a trained guard would never need to look for them since they SHOULD be on their belt at all fricken times.
What happens when a pierceless spear meets an unblocking shield?
Nothing, it didn't happen, even if it did
The gauntlets of magnetism: when the wearer attunes to these gauntlets and wears birth of them, they become magically magnetized. The wearer must then succeed a DC 20 strength saving throw or have the gloves pull themselves together. This saving throw is repeated every 6 seconds until the gloves are attached to each other. While attached, the wearer has disadvantages on all checks using hands, and cannot make attacks or cast spells with somatic components.
Bag of Holes
The bottom of this bag of holding has a big hole in it. Any item placed inside has a 50% chance to appear in an unoccupied area nearby as if placed there.
The coin of misfortune- a standard coin depicting two scenes of misfortune on either side, when attuned flipping the coin will cause it to always land on the side that is the worst outcome for you. If you are truly indifferent to the coins outcome it will spin in the air until you make up your damn mind.
Tbh a conman type of character could make great use of most of these items in some way or other.
Personal favorites are the classic "Item of invisibility" where only the item turns invisible, leaving you visible and the "Boots of Questionable Stealth." You turn completely invisible and have +10 (or the like) to Stealth, but your footsteps are magnified to a near deafening volume
Those boots could still be exploited as a distraction for some scheme, heist or assorted shenanigans
In the Elder Scrolls games there's an item called the Boots of Blinding Speed.
They increase your movement speed, but also make you unable to see.
It could be useful for a sniper (or archer), who would be invisible and not take any steps.
footsteps too loud? walk with your hands!
Pocket watch of bootstrap, the watch spontaneously appears in somebody’s hands, when activated, it will travel back in time to the moment they obtained the watch
The Cursed Ring of Flatulence! When worn cannot be removed. If you cut your finger off the ring will painfully regrow your finger and appear on it again. At dms desecration the players rolls a flat d20. The lower the roll the worse the flatulence to the point of creating a eruption from your bowels so bad it can be heard in a mile radius on a nat 1. On a nat 20 the ring comes off.
The cloak of tongues, while wearing it you can taste everything within 30ft
This is actually kinda useful
Here's one from the Bureau of Containment archives:
A copy of The Pone Zone. An enchanted VHS tape from the mid-1070s AC. The contents are a video of a pony from Fillydelphia drawing a chalk circle on the smoothed concrete floor around her labeled "my zone" and sitting inside it, reading a copy of Popular Mechanics for two hours. Tape automatically rewinds upon ending, and plays again until manually ejected from the VCR. Viewers have reported either experiencing profound confusion while viewing, abject boredom, total enrapturement, or soul-crushing loss of will to live. The film credits name 214 ponies, zebras, and a gryphon boom operator who, according to 1030-1075 Equestrian national census records, do not exist.
the best one i recall has to have been an item in one of the campaigns i played insipired by skyrim's ebony boots of muffling (or any heavy boots with muffling enchantent) The Steel Greaves of Muffling: enchanted heavy steel greaves, they cannot, by any means produce or cause any sound, however, this only works when wearing full plate armour... suffice to say, they did not aid stealth in that campaign.
Dagger of Most Resistance: The dagger will always deal damage as if the target resists slashing or piercing damage.
Solid Water boots: allow user to walk on water, however can only be taken off if the wearer is above at least 6ft of water
Does being on a bridge or boat count?
No
Boots of Haste: as an action you may click your heels together and gain one action
Potion of 3 AM Water: Drinking this potion provides the same satisfaction as drinking cold water at 3 AM.
Rod of Unfixing: A crowbar made to seem fancy via illusion magic.
Dagger of Gravity: This dagger magically increases gravity in a tiny area around itself, giving it the Heavy property instead of Light and Finesse.
Concentrate Potion of Dehydration: When added to water, this powder becomes a potion of Dehydration, which then dehydrates itself back into Concentrate Potion of Dehydration. It is insoluble in oil.
Amulet of Awareness: Whenever someone looks at you, it glows brightly to let you know that you may have been spotted.
Ring of Finger Replacement: if the wearer is missing a finger, they can put it on the missing finger to create a magical replacement made from the same material as the ring. Otherwise it has no effect.
Top Hat, Walking Stick, and Cloak of Dapperness: They make you feel fancier.
That concentrate potion of dehydration sounds like something to sabotage enemy's water supplies. And something you REALLY don't want in the ocean.
@@zerothefaceless4888 I'd rule it as "one ounce of concentrate produces one gallon of potion" so no deleting the ocean.
@@Attaxalotl Yes, but then the water gets deleted and the potion turns back into a powder
The glasses of minute seeing. The official description is a bonus to investigation, but because of the player’s mispronunciation (reading it like a span of time rather than a measure of scale) our DM let him use them (at the DM’s discretion) use them to see effects on an object up to a minute in the past. Useless most of the time, but it did help us at one point pass a code-locked door right after the person before had entered.
Here are a few that I've used in my games.
Amulet of Accessibility: Grants a +2 bonus to spellcasting rolls and damage if the wearer doesn’t know any spells.
Dagger of Man'slaughter: Casts Tasha’s Hideous Laughter on its wielder if it is being wielded by a male.
Potion of Hindsight: After drinking this potion, you become magically aware that it tasted awful and that you probably shouldn't have drank it.
Powder of Water Creation: Magically produces 1 cup of water when placed in a cup and mixed with 1 cup of water.
Hat of Tiger-Warding: Prevents the wearer from being attacked by tigers. When removed from the wearer's head, ten hostile tigers are summoned to the immediate area and begin attacking.
Water Proof Shirt: While wearing this shirt, you are magically able to convince everyone around you that water exists.
Harmless Deck of Many More Things: Declare how many cards you intend on drawing and then draw. Roll a d100 to draw one of the following cards:
• 01-66: Humanoid. You can immediately choose to stop drawing from the deck, regardless of how many cards you initially declared.
• 67-00: Roll again.
‘Gonna make beer taste like piss water’ so… nothing changes
Dark vision glasses: makes wearer persieve light areas as dim light and dim light as darkness.
That could be useful for exploring dark areas like caves and dungeons.
Anyone with sunlight sensitivity (drow, kobolds, and other cave dwellers) would pay a lot of money to be allowed to have sunglasses.
Not going to lie, my brain made it a point to find uses for some of these items... my personal favorite was the spider gloves. Give those to an enemy/opponent/mark which will create a fairly powerful distraction, one way or another. That, or they will just bite the guys hands to smithereens
Scroll of Hover: Allows the user to hover, completely negating vertical movement while airborne. Probably only useful when crossing perfectly-level gaps that cannot be crossed by other means.
or saving from a fall
Amulet of True Strike: Spend one action to activate. On the wearer's next action, if the action is an attack, the wearer gets to roll with advantage.
What if you or they have an effect that wears off once (you) hit?
The Falsehood Serum sounds really useful when someone is about to be interrogated. Either an NPC or a party member could take it, and completely bypass any interrogation. How is this useless?
The thing is, the fact that something is very "off" about what the imbiber is saying can be determined easily by a clever and persistent interrogator. For example, asking a seated imbiber of the Falsehood Serum, "Are you seated?". Whatever the response is, it can't be a simple "yes". UNLESS, the interrogator asks a question they know the answer to is "No", as by asking "Are you standing?" to a seated imbiber. Could trip up an interrogation subject, especially if they aren't very smart. "At what time today did you steal the king's scepter?" *confused beat* "Noon tomorrow". If I was a DM adjudicating a situation like this, I'd probably insist on some kind of Will or Intelligence rolls on a situation like this if the players are clever enough to treat it like a logic puzzle. Perhaps a Zone of Truth could interact with the serum to make the imbiber tell an obvious blatant lie to every question they are asked, as with the "Are you standing?" example above. Could really spice up a boring interrogation.
A few in that list could be useful distractions or allow a BBEG to finish his monologue without being interrupted which could involve verbal components for a spell. The Dress of Uncertainty could also be a good distraction as you could walk up to a group of guards wearing it to see if you could spark an argument between them. As each guard would believe themselves correct, and as we all know winning an argument is pretty much all that matters.
True! Even mostly "useless items" often just haven't had a use discovered for them yet. I am reminded of the time Balduran was confronted by a devil offering him any wish for his soul and he simply asked for a nice turnip, and a while later he had his soul, the devil outsmarted and had won the devil's allegiance in the bargain, and he said "let that be a lesson to you never to underestimate the noble turnip!(Just a reference to a book in the game, presumably meant to encourage creative thinking as a way to surpass challenges😂)
@@NeoIsrafil Do you have a link to somewhere I can read that? It sounds hilarious
I made a few. My personal favorite is a Gnat Cloud, which essentially resets the chance to hit something no matter the modifiers of the target or on the creature hit by the Gnat Cloud. All buffs and debuffs to hit are cleared, and the only modifiers not affected are environmental.
The trumpet of tomfoolery. It looks just like a normal trumpet, but it’s actually solid in the middle so it can’t play music so it’s just a scrap of metal that is in the shape of a trunpet
3:11 I would give this to an arch priest as a gift and say it will bring confidence when preforming a sermon
10:57 : Also I could win SO many drinking games with this, if I run into a noble at a pub I’m gonna make bank
Got a useless magic item that happened to be useful:
Homing Boomerang: you don't roll to hit, the boomerang will always hit its target dealing 1d6 damage. However, it will return to its wielder at an undisclosed time, dealing the same damage to them.
My fighter got lost in a pocket dimension after toying with The Deck of Many Things. The Donjon card specifies that you can't be found by divination spells and the like. Luckily for me I had thrown the boomerang in a previous combat so it would be attempting to hit me.
I rolled a new character and the quest became to find a wizard to could track down the boomerang and thus save my fighter.
Powerstone of revival. a one use item that only a mystic of Chaotic evil alignment can attune to. the target of the revival must be Lawful good and must have passed away within one round. the effect can be delayed by one additional round for one additional level drain and exhaustion onto the target and user of the powerstone.
Used bag of holding: anything you put inside will be permanently covered in glitter. You can remove as much glitter as you like from the bag, there will always be more.
I really just enjoy sharing this one for everyone to use. Actually a pretty useful item so completely off topic here lol.
Spiked buckler shield with an immovable rod as the grip. I've use this one to stop charging enemies by using my reactions, launched off it to initiate some truly interesting combat parkour with a monk that had a house rule for doubling damage dice if my attack was preceded by some kind of movement off an object (like a wall jump)
One of my favorites though was when I stopped a giant stone door from closing, that was part of an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine. The party had no idea and just left it at the entrance to keep the way out open. My character was super against it, not wanting to leave it behind. But the party convinced him, and by sheer coincidence, broke the chain of events that would have happened in the following rooms. The DM was fuming at the end because his elaborate plans had been foiled by foresight. He really wanted to test our skills and we just casually walked through the halls wondering why there were no defenses at all in place 😅
I can always tell when I’m having a bad day, the dad jokes make me laugh. 😅
Plate of eating. Food placed on the plate is magically eaten up by the plate. A delicacy for those who wish to confuse their patrons, or just those who have some well... eccentric tastes, as in order for someone using the plate to have a proper meal, they must eat the plate, having the taste and nutrition of all the meals that the plate had eaten.
Gloves of crushing: You'd expect it to let you crush things but it just crushes your hands as soon as you put them on.
The Invisible Cloak: not to be confused with an invisibility cloak as it doesn't render its wearer invisible, but is instead just a perfectly see through piece of cloth.
For my players : A potion. ANY potion at all. They'll preciously keep them all for «when it'll be of use»... In particular when said potions ARE useful. Each party member carry 10 potions of healing. They are ALL at 1 or 2 HP left, and nobody with any healing skill nor healing magic beside said potions, and they'll still want to keep those potions for «when they'll be useful».
Branch of Whacking: A wooden branch that when attuned can be used as an improvised weapon with the same stats as a club. When not attuned it doe not damage and bounces off the target harmlessly while making a squeaking sound.
Such a curious collection I believe this ought to be in the storage at a wizards college labeled unique failures and successes. Better yet add a sigil of returning to each item in that wizard storage so that people can check them out and enjoy them up until the point that they die when the sigil of returning will finish activating.
I gave one of my players an amulet that has one charge that can be used to give the benefits of a long rest, but only be recharged under a full moon over a long rest.
I gave him that amulet in Avernus...
Staff of birds. I drew this card once in a campain. It can make bird noises or summon birds. This staff can do this upto 10 times if i remember properly and you can pay to recharge the staff. Upside i talked to the dungion master and talked them into making it so my half orc barbarian can use it to summon our mid maxed bird man (forgot the races name) monk. Bacicly grug, my orc, became a barbarian stand user
Just looked it up. Aarakocra
Magic Needle: This allows a person to sow clothes faster! But, the person will receive a level of exhaustion for every minute spent sowing.