A while after my grandfather had died an old friend of my dad asked him whether it was true that his father had passed, my dad responded: " I hope so, because we buried him a week ago." #DadQuotes
+Marissa Wingender 3:11 "I asked if my dad if I was adopted and he , "Trust me, no one would pay for you."" That's no longer my twitter handle but it's still crazy
Whenever I was out with my dad he would pretend to be blind. He would hold his arms out in front of him, trip over things and say to me very loudly " why are you leaving your blind father to walk around by his self"
We went to a comic convention last year. My sister was Poison Ivy, I was Harley Quinn, my dad said he was 'Bruce Wayne'... this was because we gave him a Batman shirt, which he wore under a polo shirt, so he would be 'in disguise' #dadquotes
Once I was laughing so hard with my dad, I told him to stop cracking jokes because my face was killing me ( ie..cheeks hurt from laughing) he said,"Yeah it's killing me too, you should cover that up".
My dad went to the audiologist last year and he told my dad: "it seems you're experiencing high-frequency hearing loss" my dad replied: "well that makes sense, I have a wife and three daughters"
One time my dad and older brother were arguing over the tv remote, my dad said "it says in the bible, 'though shalt give thy father the remote control'." after an awkward pause in the entire house he said "It's in Proverbs."
I listened to my husband tell off our daughter in the next room he said "i have one last thing to say - If you wanna drink the bread you gotta eat the wine and if you wanna walk the talk you gotta talk the walk" he walked out of the room looking so smug and proud of his little speech while our 11 year old daughter looked like she had been asked to smell the color 9.
My dad found out my sister was planning to major in sociology and/or psychology. The next time he saw her, he opened the conversation with, "So, it looks like you've decided to be poor."
My dad whilst watching the beginning of "Fiddler on the Roof," in complete honesty says, "I did not know there was an actual fiddler on the roof." I love him. :)
I was listening to a song by Led Zeppelin and asked my dad what was it called. He said it was called "Indigent Song" instead of "Immigrant Song". Just to annoy him, we changed the lyrics to "we come from the street, we beg money and food...". To this day, he gets really mad when he hears the song on the radio or tv.
the last time about 50 cent is really really old.., i saw it on tumblr like 4 years ago.., i hate when people doesnt go original just to have 2 minutes of fame
Well, a bit too late, but here we go! I once overheard my sister talking to our dad. She jokingly said to him: "come on, dad, admit that your children are not exactly normal!" And he goes with this witty reply: " I won't! Nobody wants to admit they made broken stuff!" #dadquotes
It's only when you start binge watching these that you realise just how long Jimmy has been successfully hosting this show. It doesn't seem like it's been over 10 years and he's still awesome at it! Hasn't gotten stale and keeps it family friendly with no one being derogatory or mean just for laughs. I hope he keeps it up for at least another decade!
I was watching Macklemore on RUclips and my dad walked passed me, saw the video, and said "Holy S**t! Is Vanilla Ice making a comeback!?"...........Smh.
What, is it NOT ok to serenade your potato chips now?! Pardon me, I was under the impression that we lived in America. Can't tell me how to live my life, I'll love whoever I want!
my brother: if you press/hold down A then you roll (he was talking about zelda) my dad: but if i'm already holding down A how can i roll at the same time? me: ._.
When I was a kid we were going for a road trip to Pennsylvania with my brother and parents and my dad kept saying "shoes" after we got to the car. After assuring him many times we had our shoes on, he repeated the phrase shoes over and over again, getting very angry, upset, and confused. We were sat in the driveway with my dad yelling "shoes" until my brother clarified that my dad was saying the word shoes over and over again, and we had no clue what he wanted from us. He then, very red faced from embarrassment, told us he meant to say "seat belts". Neither one of us had our seat belts on yet. (Also, its a lot less weird to us considering my dad has M.S which messes with his brain and speech sometimes but it was very early on in his M.S, before he got too bad, so we didn't understand.) We still laugh about it to this day, and joke around when going to the car, he will say "shoes!" And of course, I will know what he means. Lets just say it was a little awkward when my first boyfriend came out to dinner with us one night and my dad said shoes randomly in the car.
my dad invented the words to a backstreet boys song. I kid you not, he was singing(very badly might I add) in the car the lyrics to a so called backstreet boys song and a month later they released that very same song(wording was a little different but still was freaky as hell)
When I was a kid I was upstairs in my dad's room watching tmnt and all of a sudden I hear my dad singing "I whip my hair back and forth" and came upstairs singing that song only having a towel on after showering. The ironic thing is that he's bald.
We have this rule in my house where if you finish something off, you have to replace it. So, I after watching my dad finish off the milk jug I knew full well how he tries to get out of his chores, so I started to scold him. He replied with, 'You watched me finish it off, so you take care of it.'
One time, I texted my dad I had a stalker. He immediately called me asking if I had called the police yet until I could explain to him I just wanted to send him a picture of a squirrel sitting in front of my window...
My dad and I text almost exclusively through puns. The other day we texted for a pretty long time about what I wanted for dinner through puns about cheeses from various countries. Never said anything about my family being normal.
When I took a tour at University of Missouri, the tour girl started to talk about a statue that students rub the nose for good luck. She then went on to mention that it has had many nose replacements. Without missing a beat he said, " It got a BRASS JOB!". #DadQuotes
I once cut my finger opening a baked beans can for breakfast, and went to show that to my Dad (for sympathies y'know). After hearing the story, all he said was "I didn't get any baked beans for b'fast"
When I was about 17, my dad sat me down and told me the greatest gift I could give my husband was my virginity. I laughed so hard, I started crying. My poor dad looked like he had seen a ghost.
***** and you don't know a troll when you see one. Grnvolpe is trolling with the original post, and the second, so I responded with stupidity. the only way to counter troll activity other then just ignoring it.
When I was younger I had to stay in hospital and they put a tag on my wrist with a button to set the alarms off if I needed to be restrained, my dad paid me to press it so he could meet all the good looking nurses 😂😭 i had ten nurses burst in and tackled me like a rugby team 🤣😭 my dad had a laugh though
When I was a teenager my dad was yelling at me for cursing too much. When I said "I learned it from you" he told me "that is bullsh*t!" :)
Haha so I recently told my dad how many likes this has received and he finds it hilarious but awesome :)
SqueegyBex oh that's so interesting, thanks
Dxxxcccvvhhhc,, c bbs,, vbjjhhgvccc
my mom always says the same lol))
Ahh your Dad is living in denial about the truth.
A while after my grandfather had died an old friend of my dad asked him whether it was true that his father had passed, my dad responded: " I hope so, because we buried him a week ago." #DadQuotes
thats fuckin funny right there
Lmaoo
Goddammit I cant stop watching these videos. Just one more...
ikr
+huswsimonbla ME TOO HELP
Same
so damn addictive
huswsimonbla SAME JIMMY IS LIFE
So turns out my tweet is in this BUT I NEVER KNEW!! It's only been two years....nice
Lucky you! I would die if that happened to me! ❤️
which one was yours!!
+Marissa Wingender 3:11 "I asked if my dad if I was adopted and he , "Trust me, no one would pay for you."" That's no longer my twitter handle but it's still crazy
+Christina Terry Did you Dad really say this? :D
+Ankit Sharma Yes! it was said in good spirit...hopefully haha
Whenever I was out with my dad he would pretend to be blind. He would hold his arms out in front of him, trip over things and say to me very loudly " why are you leaving your blind father to walk around by his self"
We went to a comic convention last year. My sister was Poison Ivy, I was Harley Quinn, my dad said he was 'Bruce Wayne'... this was because we gave him a Batman shirt, which he wore under a polo shirt, so he would be 'in disguise'
#dadquotes
He should have worn glasses over that too, and then no one would recognize him! ...It worked for superman.
Once I was laughing so hard with my dad, I told him to stop cracking jokes because my face was killing me ( ie..cheeks hurt from laughing) he said,"Yeah it's killing me too, you should cover that up".
"What did she say?"
hashtag C.L.A.H
hashtag C.L.A.H
lmao
wanda mateo XD OMG XD
wanda mateo #CLAH
lmao
My dad went to the audiologist last year and he told my dad: "it seems you're experiencing high-frequency hearing loss" my dad replied: "well that makes sense, I have a wife and three daughters"
One time my dad and older brother were arguing over the tv remote, my dad said "it says in the bible, 'though shalt give thy father the remote control'." after an awkward pause in the entire house he said "It's in Proverbs."
LOL! Maybe he meant at as a joke. Also, you are meant to listen to your father.
Shuaib Hussain
No, he wasn't joking.
It says "Honor thy mother and father" but I don't remember any reference to a remote control.
coastersplus
Hahahaha, niether do I!
Karen Laurvick Was not expecting that! Hahahaha!
coastersplus There isn't, he was just trying to trick my brother. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work. but I don't remember who won the argument.
Every time I watch one of these videos I end up going on an hour long late night hashtags marathon
Ditto
@@ffejerson1369 Bruh these some square ass names
O my goodness same here.
I was telling my dad about how i passed out in the bathroom at school, and got sick. All he had to say was:"Did you miss any school work!?"
***** Lol thanks
WE WANT YOU TO DO WELL IN SCHOOL, WHO CARES IF YOU PASSED OUT
Asian dad?
That last one! Woooooow, hahaha!!
lmao i was about to comment that!!!
+Alexander Gunnarsson I dont think its original - Ive heard that one way before this vid was posted
+Alexander Gunnarsson it's actually a very old joke heard it so many times before
My dad put a bike on craigslist with a "raped" seat. I had to tell him wrapped was spelled differently.
omg 😂😂
I suddenly don’t want a bike ever again.
I listened to my husband tell off our daughter in the next room he said "i have one last thing to say - If you wanna drink the bread you gotta eat the wine and if you wanna walk the talk you gotta talk the walk" he walked out of the room looking so smug and proud of his little speech while our 11 year old daughter looked like she had been asked to smell the color 9.
😭😭🤣🤣🤣
😆 this sounds like something my grandfather would say just to screw with somebody.
My dad said "Don't worry if you get pregnant, we'll just sell it on eBay."
Is it weird I couldn't tell if he was joking or not?
The 50 cent one is old and has been on the Internet for ages
Every time i watch this show, i think of The show How I Met Your Mother. He looks like josh radnor!
Totally true!!!
No he doesn't.
I WISH I COULD LISTEN TO QUESTLOVE LAUGH ALL DAY LONG. IT'S MAGNIFICENT.
My dad found out my sister was planning to major in sociology and/or psychology. The next time he saw her, he opened the conversation with, "So, it looks like you've decided to be poor."
The last two were golden!
"What did she say?" is killing me. It's like the actual joke's dementia-version.
WHAT DID THE SHE SAY!!!
hahahahahah "I asked my dad to go to a 50 Cent concert. He said Heres a dollar take your sister"
HaydosGaming ForLife thats all over instagram liar
Makayla R I was repeating thet hing...
the thing*
HaydosPlays omg that was my favorite part!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My dad whilst watching the beginning of "Fiddler on the Roof," in complete honesty says,
"I did not know there was an actual fiddler on the roof."
I love him. :)
I was listening to a song by Led Zeppelin and asked my dad what was it called. He said it was called "Indigent Song" instead of "Immigrant Song". Just to annoy him, we changed the lyrics to "we come from the street, we beg money and food...". To this day, he gets really mad when he hears the song on the radio or tv.
That's hilarious 😂
3:11 made Questlove laugh like Santa Claus. :D
Questlove would make a good Santa. A little more facial hair and boom.
the "what did she say?" one made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt!
That last one was priceless!
the last time about 50 cent is really really old.., i saw it on tumblr like 4 years ago.., i hate when people doesnt go original just to have 2 minutes of fame
I hate when people don't use good grammar
Marissa Villeneuve
I hate it when people don't use proper punctuation.
John Petrelli
I hate when people hate, so listen www.SoundCloud.com/WeRnIS
I hate people.
now the question is, did she just copy the joke for the fame or did his father just do the same (maybe also for the fame)
Well, a bit too late, but here we go!
I once overheard my sister talking to our dad. She jokingly said to him: "come on, dad, admit that your children are not exactly normal!" And he goes with this witty reply: " I won't! Nobody wants to admit they made broken stuff!" #dadquotes
i freaking adore you Jimmyy oh my god, you're so loveable omfg
It's only when you start binge watching these that you realise just how long Jimmy has been successfully hosting this show. It doesn't seem like it's been over 10 years and he's still awesome at it! Hasn't gotten stale and keeps it family friendly with no one being derogatory or mean just for laughs. I hope he keeps it up for at least another decade!
The last one XD
I was watching Macklemore on RUclips and my dad walked passed me, saw the video, and said "Holy S**t! Is Vanilla Ice making a comeback!?"...........Smh.
Ashley Mullins ahahahaha
Lol...
What, is it NOT ok to serenade your potato chips now?! Pardon me, I was under the impression that we lived in America. Can't tell me how to live my life, I'll love whoever I want!
meanwhile, in recent news, Kansas is trying to make sexual discrimination legal.
***** that was the most accurate analogy you could come up with!?!?
@@jamesharrod5095 I thought everybody wanted to choose for themselves? Now you've only got one choice?
#loveislove
I love that one guy bow ties!
my brother: if you press/hold down A then you roll (he was talking about zelda)
my dad: but if i'm already holding down A how can i roll at the same time?
me: ._.
the last one tho 😂👏
When I was a kid we were going for a road trip to Pennsylvania with my brother and parents and my dad kept saying "shoes" after we got to the car. After assuring him many times we had our shoes on, he repeated the phrase shoes over and over again, getting very angry, upset, and confused. We were sat in the driveway with my dad yelling "shoes" until my brother clarified that my dad was saying the word shoes over and over again, and we had no clue what he wanted from us. He then, very red faced from embarrassment, told us he meant to say "seat belts". Neither one of us had our seat belts on yet. (Also, its a lot less weird to us considering my dad has M.S which messes with his brain and speech sometimes but it was very early on in his M.S, before he got too bad, so we didn't understand.) We still laugh about it to this day, and joke around when going to the car, he will say "shoes!" And of course, I will know what he means. Lets just say it was a little awkward when my first boyfriend came out to dinner with us one night and my dad said shoes randomly in the car.
My dad always told my sisters and I to stay away from the three P's: poles, pipes, and penises. Joke's on him. I'm a lesbian.
HA!
T Mox what if she's a lesbian stripped who smokes. Then she's only breaking one rule
QuestioningKate yea jokes on him
QuestioningKate jokes on you. You acually listened to him, at least for the penis part
QuestioningKate ooop
What did she say? CLAH
Came here from the same video. #dead
Another hashtag that Jimmy had, where the Mom said it means, "Cackle Like A Hen".
HILARIOUS!!!! ....... Loved the drummers reaction. I wish I had a dad.
I asked my dad if I can go to a 50 cent concert , he gave me a dollar and said "here's a dollar, take your sister" lol
When my dad was mad he used to say I'm gonna give you a good twerk because he used to think twerk ment punch
That last one was stolen from online for sure.
Not that big of a steal. It was only worth a dollar.
I need about 300,000 more of these, ASAP!
my dad invented the words to a backstreet boys song. I kid you not, he was singing(very badly might I add) in the car the lyrics to a so called backstreet boys song and a month later they released that very same song(wording was a little different but still was freaky as hell)
I love Quest's laugh at 3:12.
When I was a kid I was upstairs in my dad's room watching tmnt and all of a sudden I hear my dad singing "I whip my hair back and forth" and came upstairs singing that song only having a towel on after showering. The ironic thing is that he's bald.
These shouldn’t come up between my homework videos lol it’s too hard to resist
my dad heard the song "when i was your man" on the radio and he asked "is this the new michael jackson single?"
LOVE the last one
We have this rule in my house where if you finish something off, you have to replace it.
So, I after watching my dad finish off the milk jug I knew full well how he tries to get out of his chores, so I started to scold him. He replied with, 'You watched me finish it off, so you take care of it.'
First time I saw this was in bed and laughed out so hard I woke my husband up. Lol
My dad told me that the golden rule was "he who has the money makes the rules."
Once my dad said to me and my best friend "if I was 39 years younger I would date you guys"
OMG
CLAH
that's kind of creepy...and weird...and perverted haha
Hannah Hill #ParentFail
Hannah Hill the real question is, would you date your dad if he was 39 years younger?
My dad once said I have too many kids. my response was that's your fault. #dadquotes
TRU
That last one was awesome.
omg the 50 cent one cracks me up
lilfriedchick omg same😂😂😂😂😂
this is one of the best by far!!
Dad humor is the best.
My dad kept saying "Aces, man" because he thought it was cool and teens said it. All my friends and I started saying it and he believed us.
...
Your dad's lucky he's got such a considerate kid
At 3:13, QuestLove laughs like Sean Connery from SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy skit.
Deanna Brownlee p
I love the France one!!!omg! What a dad thing to say
One time, I texted my dad I had a stalker. He immediately called me asking if I had called the police yet until I could explain to him I just wanted to send him a picture of a squirrel sitting in front of my window...
Best one yet!! Keep them coming :)
When asking a store associate at Target about a digital camera my dad asked, "where do you put the film?" #dadquotes
I miss the days of film cameras. There's no nostalgia in these digital and phone cameras 😑
He starts reading them at 1:14 you can just skip ahead
I just noticed. It almost always ends up being a world wide trending topic
I love hashtags! This segment is great.
CLAH!!
Niceeeee.
I was gonna say that 😹
I'm dumb, what's CLAH?
@@troubler2115 From one of Jimmy's other hashtags he liked where the Mom made it up. She said it meant, "Cackle Like A Hen"!
love this segment!
My dad and I text almost exclusively through puns. The other day we texted for a pretty long time about what I wanted for dinner through puns about cheeses from various countries.
Never said anything about my family being normal.
Last one tho...killed me 😂😂😂😂
When I took a tour at University of Missouri, the tour girl started to talk about a statue that students rub the nose for good luck. She then went on to mention that it has had many nose replacements. Without missing a beat he said, " It got a BRASS JOB!".
#DadQuotes
The one where a dad was singing Let's Stay Together to potato chips makes sense because they played that song in a Lay's commercial!
skip to 1:15
This joke about Fifty is everything😂 one of the best I ever heard
Anyone else think the guy reading the stuff is kinda hot?
Nicole kidman would agree with
When he was young, he was even hotter!!
seriously...read the title of the video. "the guy" is Jimmy Fallon.
Culture; get some.
***** please, this man is like a fine wine!
Dads are the funniest living thing on Earth!
Why is he reading the tweets off cards when there is a computer beside him? CLAH
That last quote was hilarious, haha
I once cut my finger opening a baked beans can for breakfast, and went to show that to my Dad (for sympathies y'know). After hearing the story, all he said was "I didn't get any baked beans for b'fast"
The last one was the best! lol
Actually if one the distance between points A and B is filled with one way roads, it may be closer for Mike to drive to his father than the opposite.
or the speed they drive is different
3:08 "...trust me. No one would pay for you!" OUCH on so many levels!!! rofl
One time at dinner my dad asked "what does the fox say?" Then me, my mom, and sister looked at him like he was stupid
#dadquotes
Silv Mere what does it say? 😐
Love the last one lol
The last one is hilarious!!!
its actually not funny. Tht joke is old. She stole it from facebook.
I really don't care where she got that from. I just think it's funny! :)
Sissy Curly i know😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👍❤ i love it!!!
The last one was awesome hahahahahahah
When I was about 17, my dad sat me down and told me the greatest gift I could give my husband was my virginity. I laughed so hard, I started crying. My poor dad looked like he had seen a ghost.
ohh my. I feel for him.
1:17 for the #'s
One time a few years ago when my dad was dropping me off at my then boyfriend's house, he said "don't go making any babies"
What did she say?
The last one was awesome! cant stop to laugh xD
My dad's dead
Why do people keep thumbing this up? Do you enjoy my pain?
Grnvolpe I was wondering the same thing... :(
lol
Grnvolpe This is 'merica! Where we've gotten so bored that other people's pain is our entertainment.
***** and you don't know a troll when you see one. Grnvolpe is trolling with the original post, and the second, so I responded with stupidity. the only way to counter troll activity other then just ignoring it.
3:13 Santa Claus sounding ass got me in tears 😂😂
My dad doesn't understand computers so he was trying to look something up and he said he needed to use my facebook to google something.
Dads are awesome
my dad said, "I bet if Jesus Christ walked through that front door right now you would fart."
CLAH
CLAH
CLAH
CLAH
CLAH
When I was younger I had to stay in hospital and they put a tag on my wrist with a button to set the alarms off if I needed to be restrained, my dad paid me to press it so he could meet all the good looking nurses 😂😭 i had ten nurses burst in and tackled me like a rugby team 🤣😭 my dad had a laugh though