Locus of Control: Quick Coping Skill for Anxiety
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
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Here’s a quick activity that you can do to cope with anxiety and restore a sense of safety and calm. I do it all the time with my clients in session, and you can feel a noticeable difference almost immediately. This activity is short and simple, but it can really help decrease anxiety or help you better cope with anxiety.
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Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
Exactly. This is all about growing the wisdom to know the difference
Yep. I think I need to recite the Serenity Prayer about 50 times a day.
Don't forget your daily activities and interactions can improve from your positive influence. The influence reaches everyone. I found this video informative. And I agree with the serenity prayer, it was the best thing since sliced bread!
You just said a prayer that is mentioned in Quran
@@muhammadzaidhasan1426 Good, I didn't know that
I always looked a anxiety as a form of weakness and thought if I had it I would easily palm it off with mind over matter... I have never been so wrong, I was hit hard recently with an anxiety attack to the point that I thought I was having a heart attack to find out I was an anxiety attack, I now know how it feels and I would not wish it on my worse enemy I will stand by and with anyone who is going through this, there is nothing harder than fighting with your own head
I feel you brother, I used to think this as well until I recently started having anxietyy and being overstretched about buying a home, pregnancy scare and work. It really helped to go the doctor and talk with friends who said they have it all the time. Just take a step back and breathe.
@@babyymakerr6690 yeah man it takes some getting used to, im on sertraline now but it still comes and goes as it pleases, it does help talking and knowing people who are going through the same thing though I think
exact same thing happened and is happening to me. i do not wish this on anybody cause its terrible
@@RudyTheBulldogsmh same here I hope you pull through man💪🏾
And it’s easy for other people who don’t have anxiety to just say it’s all in your head or to calm down.
But the stuff out of my control is what I worry about. That’s the biggest struggle
Everything is out of our control !!! X let go let God x
Yeah
That's why the influence list is there. You have an influence, even a small one, over things that are out of control. And besides that, there will always be things out of your control, sometimes all you can do is accept that and let go of your desire to control.
Yes!!!
Hi Chris. discover.hubpages.com/health/How-to-Defeat-Anxiety-and-Depression this article can help you!❤❤❤😇 God can help you! This melody can also help to relax! ruclips.net/video/_jh0rBWgob0/видео.html
I’ve been dealing with really bad anxiety and depression lately and your videos are so insightful and encouraging. Please keep doing what you’re doing.
Ashley, God has given us life to enjoy. Meditation is the practical way to handle depression as it reprogrammes the mind. Watch alternate nostril breathing meditation videos on Google search and do the meditation for 5 to 15 minutes if possible twice a day. You can sit on a chair and do this meditation. Second life transforming technique is to sit in one place without moving for 5 to 15 minutes-Be still and observe your breath. Shyaaam Sir, Mentor. Make meditation a daily habit
I share your issues. Weird question: would you, or someone you know, be interested in talking on the phone a little bit, occassionally? Nothing too serious, I just feel like talking to someone who's going through the same things will have a lot of benefit, different kinda benefit than therapy.
@@kevinbunn7915 I’d be willing to talk to you. I’m really trying to get through some really bad anxiety.
@@kevinbunn7915 let's talk
@@michellepeak1992 let's talk
Everyone who suffers from anxiety your not alone your safe!! 💓✌🏻
You're comment has made a big difference.
@@midshipsport 💗✌🏻
Thank you! That makes me feel good.
@@darinward71 take deep breaths remember ur safe 💓✌🏻🦋
Thnx for the uplift so much! But my brain wont listen to me
Some People r so lucky that they don't deal with anxiety , starting to think my job is bad for my health . It's so fast pacing , it makes me feel anxious and have higher anxiety even sometimes panic attacks . I wish ppl wouldn't be so mean and pressure you either .
I can so relate. I left a stressful job recently. I am jobless now. That is giving me anxiety also. And the constant battle with the thoughts is so tiring! Love and light towards you!
You are providing therapy at any time needed and at no cost. What a gift you provide. You are so awesome and such a blessing!! Thank you!!
Hi Tammy. discover.hubpages.com/health/How-to-Defeat-Anxiety-and-Depression this article can help you!❤❤ God can help you! This melody can also help to relax! ruclips.net/video/_jh0rBWgob0/видео.html enjoy!
Very helpful
Everyone who suffers from depression and anxiety PLEASE KNOW WE GOT THIS🙏 I truly believe it and will start to be more kinder to myself ❤️
Great video, Emma! We teach our clients a similar method. For anyone out there who has a hard time practicing this, it can be helpful to start yawning before you begin. When you yawn the fight-or-flight system calms down. You can induce a yawn by inhaling twice, and then slowly exhaling.
Interesting! I haven’t heard about the yawning 🥱 method before. So now I have learned something new! -Thanks! 😊
I can induce yawning by just keeping my mouth open for as long as it takes for the yawn to come. Hope this helps someone.
Do you have a website😁
Does this make you sleepy and could it confuse your sleep cycle during the day?
@@mimiteas it helped me
Thank you for adding the pandemic in your example. For those of us struggling this is a helpful reminder of what to focus on.
This helped me instantly. I was laying in bed getting really anxious and then I came across this video, got out of bed to do it and I feel way more clear headed. Thank you so much. ❤️
I remember watching this video some time ago and then,true to form, I forgot all about it. Then last week I woke up in the morning and this phrase ' locus of control ' popped into my mind. It was just what I needed! One of the rare times where my subconscious mind was working along with me 😆 fantastic. Obviously I'm watching the video again and the information is just what I need right now.
Have a great day folks 🌞
Hello there! It's very comforting knowing other people out there like myself. I never realized how selfish being anxious can make us. I was so worried about how I felt...and didn't think that anyone else could feel the same or worse.
God grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. Thanks Emma, you just supplied the WISDOM.. Love your videos. 🌻
Amen
I have anxiety because I have an open heart. I prefer to be by myself and not to be around lots of people.
Peter, You need to develop your mental muscles to handle life challenges. God has given us life to enjoy. Meditation is the practical way to handle depression as it reprogrammes the mind. Watch alternate nostril breathing meditation videos on Google search and do the meditation for 5 to 15 minutes if possible twice a day. You can sit on a chair and do this meditation. Second life transforming technique is to sit in one place without moving for 5 to 15 minutes-Be still and observe your breath. Shyaaam Sir, Mentor. Make meditation a daily habit
@@shyaaammeneen63 bro iv tried meditation aswel as prana breathing. My mum bought me a bycyle today for my 27th birthday so I'm looking riding my bycyle frequently to get my blood flowing. Spiritually though I belong to Jesus Christ and I pray when I can. I should do some more practical stuff I'm looking at growing tomatoes and carrots in my yard as well. 🙏
@@Jesuswalks7475 Great.The present world crisis has shown that mental muscles are more important than physical strength. With daily meditation try to reach a stage of equanimity. Best wishes
@@shyaaammeneen63 yeah I meditated on a waterfall in the Daintree (Australia) and my third eye was opened, back when I was 19. I saw a white divine light and I experienced love joy and peace. But I am cautious with meditation because when I was around 25 I meditated at the beach at night and my root chakra was awakened and I felt this release of compassion. That was the last time I meditated since then, it's too much for me. I need to find a way where I can let go of my past and too to trust God for my future, what kinda meditation do you do?
@@Jesuswalks7475 "The Mindful Christian." Videos here on RUclips. I find they are helping me.
As a person who has anxiety, I can honestly say that just the act of drawing this locus would be enough to calm me down.
You're a natural teacher - so gifted and suvh an engaging person. Thank you.
That first step of writing things down really really helped, I wrote down my worries and reasons those worries wouldn’t come to be. And it gradually helped my brain realize that everyone is doing their own thing and that the whole world isn’t against me or out to get me and those who do make comments or problems are ultimately mean less because I don’t know them and they don’t know me. And it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, thank you!
I watched this video a few weeks ago but it keeps coming to mind at times when I feel stressed by someone else's actions. It's a helpful way to focus on what you can do in a given situation and what you can't control. Thanks for the great video.
Hi Emma! Could you please make a video about breakups and everything related to heart breaks? Nostalgia, grief, obsessive thoughts? I've been struggling for more than a year 💔 but you've already help me a lot! 💐
I started watching your videos recently and slowly notice how my mindset is changing. Sometimes I have to remind myself and sometimes I have to struggle through my mind wanting to go back into the anxiety mode but I am already feeling a change and it's your videos that helped a lot in that progress and I can't thank you enough for doing these.
Thank you I recently started middle school and it really makes my anxiety bad
This is the channel I need thank you 😊
Are u doing better? :)
Thank you. I’ve had many therapists in my life in person as for videos, you’re the best,
It is so helpful to remember what I am powerless over and what I can do to help the situation. Your videos help me so much. Thank you!
thank you for this exercise. it really helps seeing you draw and write down things on paper. this is better than just listening to advice without a clear example.
I just wonder how are you doing nowadays? 🌞
@@greywizard3859 im wondering the same for u
Thank you. God bless you more. I feel better now. I feel relaxed and back to normal
This is the best video. People be doing like 20 minutes non sense explaining, like duhh I'm going through hard time is why I searched for help. My brain ain't processing well to understand your analysis.
THANKYOU FOR THIS. BESTEST BEST ONE HELPFUL!!
Thank you for this exercise! It's going to be so useful to me. My depression & anxiety disorder has been owning me for far took long instead of me learning activities that lift me up.🌈
I feel stress and overwhelmed..
You are a blessing
Thank you!
This is excellent. You are very skilled at what you do and I, for one, am so grateful for you sharing all this vital stuff.
I needed this today as I go to work in a nursing home where I have little control over our exposure to this virus. The stress just makes me hate my job and my life some days. I'm beyond burned out right now! But there are things I can control, and i will focus on those today.
Stacy Stanton so understandable! I really feel for you! Please continue to make nice to you. Keep on keeping on, a step at a time, a day at a time; you are so important to the world.🌺🌟🌺🌿💕🌿👏👏👏
I just started watching your videos. I find them super relevant and very well explained. I also love your calm and authetic temperament. I recommend your video to my patients with depression and anixeté.
Continue your great work! :)
I’ve never experienced anything like this until the pandemic started. Thanks for the tips! Hope can continue our normal life anytime soon🙏🏼 Stay safe
yh thought that I'd never get any of these I suddenly thought abt life and got depersonalization !
I never suffered with anxiety until recently, and it’s horrible I’m trying my best to get rid of it. It’s life changing 😔 I just want my life back!
Me to lovexx
Me too 8 months for me I want my life back working on it
Sending love and strength and optimism to all of you❤
I love your content & this video in particular. It is one of your best videos ever for me personally. I really have trouble with focus & feelings of overwhelm probably because of my anxiety. By keeping this really short and to the point, I was able to focus for the entire time & learn a skill I can immediately put in to practice. Thank you so much!
So glad I found your channel. Every video so far has helped me greatly in just a short time. 2021 I hope to be a better not so anxious or depressed person. Can't wait to watch more.
Hi Claudia. discover.hubpages.com/health/How-to-Defeat-Anxiety-and-Depression this article can help you!❤❤ God can help you! This melody can also help to relax! ruclips.net/video/_jh0rBWgob0/видео.html
@@angelablacksmith9653 Thank you so much. Wishing you a Happy New Year to come.
@@claudiarice8123 i wish you all the best!😇😇😇
Thank you for your clear and straightforward explanation. This is certainly a technique I will share, and use for myself starting today.
Excellent video, but what it really helped me the most, is that it showed me how frustrating and powerless parenthood can be. You couldn't have picked a better example. No kids for me. Thanks Emma!
This is my new favourite RUclips channel. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Such good advice. Sending so much love to anyone who is struggling ♥️♥️♥️
Hello just like me,i had anxiety it's very difficult but i need to fight..😔
Just wanna say thank you for the help. this helps me tremendously as i can conceptualize how to array my anxious thought. Im in external spectrum and that causes me into this loop hole of anxiety for years.I like your approach of explaining things and soft consoling voice tone.great self-help vid.
This is an awesome resource, I'm deeply grateful for your channel.
Where I get stuck on this tool is where the locus of control for negative outcomes is already skewed toward the self (thoughts of not being prepared enough, not being calm enough, etc; ie., anxious attachment behaviours). Such that attention is already heavily focussed upon what's Within Our Control and whether 'enough' has been done. Tricky! Would love to hear other's thoughts.
Part of an adult child’s lack of motivation can be anxiety, or fear of stepping out of their comfort zone. People are often critical of adult children who are slow to leave home and take their parents’ side, but they don’t seem to understand how much the adult child may be struggling to work through their fears to fully transition into adulthood. An adult child may also have depression about the childhood they’re having to leave behind, as well as depression about how they view themselves negatively, and how others may be judging them as well.
I was thinking this too ☹️
I appreciate your videos. Just knowing other's are experiencing anxiety as I am is comforting. Working together helps.
Hi Emma,
I am a new devotee of your work on RUclips. I want to thank you for your many helpful videos. Truly, I love them, and they are helping me a lot.
My career for many years was as a family nurse practitioner. I hit the wall with burnout issues in 2019, and had to get out. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack or stroke. After not working, it took me about 10 months to feel like I was in a better place, and I did see a therapist during this time. Then, of course, Covid hit.
The good thing was that I was able to spend so much more time with my husband. The not good thing in my life is that my sweet husband died suddenly of cardiac issues 😔 in July of 2021.
It has been a very hard year, of course. I miss him so much. I also developed a much worse case of anxiety, which is where you come in to the picture.
I just want you to know what a great job you are doing in your RUclips therapy format. I learn something new with each video I watch.
Thank you so much for sharing yourself with me and so many other people also. 💕 You are doing a great job, and I want you to know that your work has really helped people like me.
Thank you so very much!!
Respectfully, Susan 🤗💞
Great advice. Solid, practical and well conveyed. Thank you so much! 👏👏👏
I absolutely love this and I’m going to give it a try!
This is an AWESOME exercise. Idk how I’ve never seen it before! Thanks emma your great at what you do. Like wow!
Wow, great video! Is it too much to expect people like you in my life? Just your reaction "these are great circles" really shows the type of positivity I need from people in my life, and it's not what I have been getting from those around me lol
Amazing illustrations of the concept! Drawing it out is so helpful 😮
Excellent. Simple to follow and do. Thank you. I will try this!
Thanks a lot madam. You're so gracious, I must say. Love from India. 🧡🤍💚
It s an artistic way to express ur emotions.
Great!!!!!
I could never had imagined it.
Lv d national flag u depicted in symbols.
Bless you for this free therapy. It shows you truly care about people.
Thank you...this is helping me to focus my progress/process and not on what I can't control/ fix because that causing my anxiety when it comes to work/ people....taking the focus off them and putting it on me and my actions!
Thank you so much!! I’ve been watching your videos this past week, and it’s been helping me a lot to learn about how to respond to my anxiety and grow 😌❤️
This is a great video, Emma! I really love the visuals.
Thanks
As an older person who has buried many people who were incapable of taking care of themselves - I can say - only compassion gives me peace of mind. In the end.
People who CAN do better, do better. Everyone else - fails .:
You can either help or walk away.
But don’t lie to yourself to feel better about kicking anybody to the curb. Own up & say, I can’t help take care of you..
Be honest...instead of shaming people ..
this is exactly what I am going through right now i recently tested positive and my oldest son did too he's 23. he no longer lives at home and i am terrified for him and his health because he has a terrible cough so i have been begging and driving myself crazy worried over his cough and what he's taking for it asking him to see doctors basically wanting him to be as concerned as i am but i am exhausted mentally from all of it. this is very helpful thank you it's just so hard to apply when it comes to your adult children when u want them to be safe. that's what i'm struggling with.
I hope you’re both well now
I really needed that today. I'm grateful that this amazing contribution of yours appeared on my RUclips home feed. Thank you so much .
Your voice is soothing
I really enjoyed learning this practical step! Thank you so much for sharing!☺️
Basically putting your attention at the right place and not wasting it away on unnecessary things that you have no control at all. That’s my takeaway, thanks for sharing! 🙏
I have high anxiety and moderate depression😭😭. Pray for me please and I'm sending prayers for your all🙏🏾💜
You are not alone
I hope you are doing much better! 🌺
@@dustibones9879 i am doing much better. Still a work in progress but that's good💜
Wake up early, pray just before sunrise; ask God for the best day, every day, renewing positive intention each single day. Eat kefir. Stop or at least minimise sugar. Walk half way to work. Daily simple habits make the difference. This is an experience from a Muslim from Canada. I got Covid 8 months ago . Peace on all humanity!!
Thank you, will use this strategy. Just getting down on paper will help with the questioning going on in my head .
Thank you … this is very timely for me . I have benefitted from your videos in the past…..but just revisited the anxiety management process due to personal circumstances overwhelming me. I have found your approach both supportive and instructive and I think I will be going back to some of your earlier sessions. Thank you again.
Excellent advice. Thx so much. Many blessings to you
Ty so much will be using this again, took me right out of my mind
This technique is so simple but absolutely effective! Thank you! ❤😊
The diagram helps me remember your wise words! I hope you will use this teaching tool more often.
This is literally what i needed help for...covid related anxiety! Thank you.
Learning to think s so important i couldnt had imagined.
Also it ll really help parents how to support their child when he or she s anxious or depressed
I didn't realize it - but I was leaving out the Influence portion. Thank you for this!
Thank you for sharing this activity. I really like listening to you and watching your videos, they're really calming and helpful!
This was really helpful and also your voice is so soothing
Thank you for uploading these videos for free this is really a big help God bless you
Honestly my life is a giant catch 22. I’ve been mentally ill since 18, I’m 23 now and still living at home. My anxiety went down a bit when I had a job, but had to leave the job because of severe anxiety returning. Now I can’t get another job because of my mental illnesses (Severe GAD, Agoraphobia, OCD, and depression)
I really feel your pain. Stay strong, go to therapy, and use the exposure hierarchy! Praying for you brother 🙏
So interesting, this video showed me that I have no problem identifying my sphere of control and things I can't control, so I don't have anxiety related to that but on the other hand, I have no idea how I can use the sphere of influence, or how it's represented in different situations, or just simply what are the actions that can be taken. Thank you, this is huge for me, I'll be thinking on this.
You’re amazing Emma. Thank you for all of your various content and topics you cover. I just appreciate and love your channel. Keep up the videos please!🌺💜👍🏾
Very powerful tool. Thank you so much! It also gives a lot of clarity on why communicating with Narcissists is difficult, if not impossible, because Narcissists want to control EVERYTHING. Watching again :)
It's a bit difficult when you do not know the issue. A lot of advice given is for "basic anxiety". Getting lots of excersize, sunlight, etc has never worked for me. It gets so bad, every morning my gut feels as tho I'm bring kicked.
Thank you so much for this video. Just watching makes me feel a little less anxious.
Thank you for the many times you have made clear how to face
Your anxieties and ease your mind. I think your videos are
Excellent
You are incredibly helpful! Thank you💖💖💖
Thank you for your videos!! I find your content super helpful, you're making a difference in people's lives.
Hi Kenny. discover.hubpages.com/health/How-to-Defeat-Anxiety-and-Depression this article can help you!❤❤ God can help you! This melody can also help to relax! ruclips.net/video/_jh0rBWgob0/видео.html
Thanks for all your videos!
Thank you. You share such helpful information in such a kind way.
Thank you for your simple and practical explanation of this important tool
Very helpful. I'm a Caregiver. My guy has bad case of anxiety so we will get out the erase board and I'm expecting some positive changes for both of us!
I’m crying because man this helps a ton
Thank you Emma. I will try when I struggle to find a solution. Very useful advice, will repost at our blog selfhelpchampion🙏❤️selfhelpchampion
I'm in recovery and boundaries are so important!
Thank you so much for your videos. They are so helpful.
I wanted to say thank you for your videos.
Thank you so much! This is very helpful for me. And I'm the girl from the unmotivated child example haha xD I made the choice to teach myself whatever it takes to move forward, I used to focus on the things outside of my control and end up frustrated and unmotivated. I'm drawing my own diagram and will make sure I won't fixate on what's out of my control anymore. Thank you ♥️
this is great when your problems are with others, but what about anxiety with one's self?
This is an EXCELLENT video! Thank you. LOVED the example....I was able to really receive this AND put into practice. THANK YOU.
Your videos help and has helped me a WHOLE LOT.. I'm still working through my anxiety issues 🙃 again thank you 🤗🤗
Thank you for all your help with anxiety!
Great explanation about The way web can control our anxiety for solution of problems and not let them to scare us