Mock The Week: Milton Jones Scenes We'd Like To See

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  • Опубликовано: 15 авг 2019

Комментарии • 135

  • @AngelicusImmortus
    @AngelicusImmortus 3 года назад +335

    Dara O’Brien once said that Milton is the most edited guy on there as his lines cause the others to laugh so much they have to edit out chunks of time where it’s just the audience and the other comedians giggling like kids.

    • @malcolmjohnston7873
      @malcolmjohnston7873 2 года назад +18

      That I could well imagine. He has me in stitches!

    • @angelinecheongyw2352
      @angelinecheongyw2352 2 года назад +4

      @@malcolmjohnston7873 Mnnmbnmmh HD

    • @ifyoureadthisyoudi
      @ifyoureadthisyoudi 7 месяцев назад +3

      Is there a link to an interview where Dara said this?

    • @mauricedorreboom5388
      @mauricedorreboom5388 2 месяца назад +2

      I remember those "Lighthouse Keeper" jokes he did ... those had everybody roaring.

  • @maggiemassey5452
    @maggiemassey5452 8 месяцев назад +36

    He is absolutely brilliant, no need for filth just super comedy.

  • @davidyoung5114
    @davidyoung5114 3 месяца назад +13

    I would love to see Milton on TASKMASTER! He'd have the Taskmaster, the other contestants, and the audience in stitches all the time!

  • @AngelicusImmortus
    @AngelicusImmortus 3 года назад +160

    He is the current genius of one line, absurd, surreal comedy. It does take a special talent to come up with that stuff and ignore the generic stuff others come out with. No knob gags, no easy lines, just pure “weird” stuff.

  • @kvn4714
    @kvn4714 4 года назад +222

    "How's your lucky pencil case now" 😂

    • @abbaslegend9214
      @abbaslegend9214 4 года назад +9

      7:06 😂😂

    • @changvasejarik62
      @changvasejarik62 11 месяцев назад +2

      To ye more mathetically minded reading this.
      Was that a legit question/ question fragment?

    • @ElegantSpud
      @ElegantSpud 6 месяцев назад +1

      I about soiled my dungarees the first time I saw that one. Still cracks me up every time I see it. Brilliant.

  • @jimothy1967
    @jimothy1967 9 месяцев назад +22

    The one comedian whose line you can’t wait for! Genius.

  • @TheUntitled100
    @TheUntitled100 2 года назад +53

    "Look! An ancient African city!" "From the makers of Timbuk One..."

    • @RitchieLion
      @RitchieLion 2 года назад +6

      "It looks like a runner bean, only smaller"
      "From the makers of Mange One..."

    • @bashirlone624
      @bashirlone624 4 месяца назад

      Is it a part of a trilogy...

    • @terranceparsons5185
      @terranceparsons5185 4 месяца назад +1

      ​@@bashirlone624the third one was from the makers of Cocka One.

  • @donmontague4107
    @donmontague4107 Год назад +37

    Oh my. The fricking LEVEL that he's consistently delivering these lines at! That's superb. And for most/all of them to be clean jokes, that's what the best are made of.

  • @plugh1
    @plugh1 3 года назад +44

    Miltons miind works in strange but hilarious ways. Genius

  • @ShadowWolf2023-yp5zg
    @ShadowWolf2023-yp5zg 9 месяцев назад +8

    "Today we'll be finding out how the queen arrived in Australia but first..." That is one funny line, I enjoyed that one the most

  • @dillonjohn8549
    @dillonjohn8549 27 дней назад +2

    People like Milton Jones and Tim Vine are proof that swearing doesn't always equal funny.

  • @3QuaNiMiTyy
    @3QuaNiMiTyy 4 года назад +263

    He's certainly unique. Some real absurdist type stuff at points.

    • @katherinewolfe
      @katherinewolfe 2 года назад +6

      "I am the Messiah - and the Queen is a biscuit!" and then swimming off the stage is the weirdest, funniest thing I've seen since Robin Williams died.

    • @applejuice5272
      @applejuice5272 2 года назад

      @@katherinewolfe "I think that was a floating voter."

    • @jeanmichellelaurent
      @jeanmichellelaurent 2 года назад +1

      Like he's not an edgy low brow comedian but I love his goofy British wit

  • @kenmannagh7788
    @kenmannagh7788 2 года назад +15

    Clean as a whistle and the best because of it ....genius Milton rave on .

  • @simonbiggs9102
    @simonbiggs9102 2 года назад +13

    Can listen to him day and night.

  • @ukdavepianoman
    @ukdavepianoman 2 года назад +14

    Absolute genius. I love the train joke...I know a short cut.

  • @markt1387
    @markt1387 6 месяцев назад +6

    Milton's a genius and love the occasional really dark jokes that really catches you off guard.

  • @rustkarl
    @rustkarl 2 года назад +20

    Ahhh Milton.
    The strangest source of laughs I have had the pleasure of being immensely amused by.

  • @CatGirlClare
    @CatGirlClare Год назад +4

    Just love - Baby tennis umpires sitting in their highchairs, shouting Deuce, deuce!!

  • @oludotunjohnshowemimo434
    @oludotunjohnshowemimo434 4 месяца назад +3

    Simple one liners but yet funny. Milton is so quick whitted.

  • @RIXRADvidz
    @RIXRADvidz 2 года назад +11

    He really brings out my Roaring Laughter

  • @eamonquinn5188
    @eamonquinn5188 2 года назад +21

    I think the luggagy sushi is maybe my favourite ever joke!

    • @noeldarby1635
      @noeldarby1635 2 года назад +1

      My fave is stew francis......'when I was a cop I worked undercover as a pimp,a punter wanted a 3some with menstruating woman......so I err pulled a few strings ' belter !!

  • @MagiTailWelkin
    @MagiTailWelkin 4 года назад +75

    1:35 I am almost certain, that was a floating voter.

    • @OldGravy2005
      @OldGravy2005 3 года назад +6

      They shouldn’t have cut that out!

  • @kennyhagan5781
    @kennyhagan5781 2 года назад +27

    This guy does it without using a lot of cursing and innuendos. He is brilliant.... and those shirts, the British should consider his wardrobe a national treasure. 🏆

  • @ElegantSpud
    @ElegantSpud 6 месяцев назад +4

    No one does surreal humor like Milton. The guy is a comic genius. I wonder what his dreams are like.

  • @HarryNicNicholas
    @HarryNicNicholas 2 года назад +5

    "they taste luggagey" lolol.

  • @paulcrombie9623
    @paulcrombie9623 2 года назад +13

    I love Milton, he is the best, so funny!

  • @isabella-cg1co
    @isabella-cg1co 3 года назад +106

    You missed out. “Anyone can cook this. You can’t Beatrice. Sorry you can’t beat rice” and “Ve in ze german city of cologne haf a fragrance called Birmingham” but the ones you included are AMAZING

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 3 года назад +2

      This is part 1. Check the others.

    • @johnsupernaw7290
      @johnsupernaw7290 2 года назад +8

      "You can't beat rice" is one of the absolute best jokes I have ever heard in my entire 54 years. That one isn't gold - its platinum.

    • @VinnySlouth
      @VinnySlouth Год назад +1

      @@johnsupernaw7290 According to the latest list I'd say 3 tons of Rhodium, and his befuddled walk off clinches it!
      Rhodium (Rh) - $15,250/troy ounce.
      Iridium (Ir) - $4,750/troy ounce.
      Palladium (Pd) - $2,027/troy ounce.
      Gold (Au) - $1,723.55/troy ounce.
      Platinum - $889/troy ounce.

  • @georgelamb1236
    @georgelamb1236 2 года назад +5

    He's a bloody genius!

  • @invaderzim7890
    @invaderzim7890 4 года назад +93

    Would have been better if you put the topic up before Milton's bit.

  • @nedim_guitar
    @nedim_guitar 3 года назад +28

    I would love to see this man in a star role in a movie!

  • @jeanniehelliwell1599
    @jeanniehelliwell1599 3 года назад +11

    Oy Milton leave Aussies alone! 🤣🤣🇦🇺🥰

    • @donmontague4107
      @donmontague4107 Год назад

      Isn't it the Aussies who should leave us alone... the point is there are bloody masses of them - most of whom compete with the natives in the service industry.

    • @user-vy8ff8cl2i
      @user-vy8ff8cl2i 3 месяца назад

      Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy!!!

  • @dez3540
    @dez3540 4 года назад +94

    The Dalmations one was absolute savage lmao

  • @j-simmo1881
    @j-simmo1881 3 года назад +12

    Him and Gary Delaney are the best

  • @maccajft96ynwa97
    @maccajft96ynwa97 3 года назад +18

    Hi my names sue barker, you may remember my dad, chew barker what a joke what a comedian.

  • @nostalgiaof98
    @nostalgiaof98 Год назад +7

    His style is very old school like Marty Feldman or such. Very witty and unique.
    I wonder what the show would've been like if Eric Morcambe or John Cleese was on

  • @spudwesth
    @spudwesth 12 дней назад +1

    Milton went to the store to buy some Beyond Meat. He found out that the cows were from Alpha Centauri.

  • @FaceInTheCrowd
    @FaceInTheCrowd 2 года назад +15

    2:54 🤣 I really shouldn't watch Mock The Week while eating breakfast!

  • @aaroncurtis8768
    @aaroncurtis8768 4 года назад +51

    Watching this guy made me laugh so hard i nearly peed myself.absolute genius he is with his one limer jokes

  • @jackevans1318
    @jackevans1318 2 года назад +6

    I love the joke about how he lost control of a bus 🤣

  • @noir-214
    @noir-214 4 месяца назад +1

    "Look an ancient African city from the makers of Timbuk one...."😂😂😂

  • @erinobrien8408
    @erinobrien8408 3 года назад +4

    Milton's 🎶 destiny is to be the King of Pun! 🎶

  • @barrywallace2744
    @barrywallace2744 4 года назад +53

    I really think you should of left in Hugh's retort to Milton's The queen is a biscuit joke.

  • @jestermoon
    @jestermoon 2 года назад +4

    A genius who got me where I am today.
    Does anybody know where I am?

  • @crazyman8472
    @crazyman8472 2 года назад +8

    4:52 “This is Fox News…” Oh, if only it was. 😜

  • @ALostExplorer
    @ALostExplorer Год назад +9

    The moment I heard that ‘they say criminals always return to the scene of the crime’ joke, I knew we were off to the races. Easily one my favorite contestants on MTW

  • @Spitfyre1011
    @Spitfyre1011 5 месяцев назад +1

    4:50 i love how it abruptly cuts off Andy Parsons

    • @daruddock
      @daruddock 3 месяца назад

      Should be the standard for every show

  • @bcowan1943
    @bcowan1943 Месяц назад

    Love him🤣🖖

  • @flavoredchin
    @flavoredchin 4 года назад +23

    4:52
    An age old question, finally put to rest.

  • @IamKlaus007
    @IamKlaus007 2 месяца назад

    Tricky, isn't it, when you're the captain of a ship and a moth. You see a lighthouse. You know you shouldn't, BUT.....

  • @steven9562
    @steven9562 5 месяцев назад +1

    Psml every time I watch milton

  • @davidjohnmcclements7455
    @davidjohnmcclements7455 3 года назад +13

    I used to drink strongbow with my mate dave and he was killed by an arrow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @KevinNerfs
    @KevinNerfs 9 месяцев назад +3

    1:38 It’s too bad you cut out Hugh’s response because it was the perfect complement to Milton’s joke.

  • @lgba384
    @lgba384 4 года назад +8

    A biscuit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Shmiguelly
    @Shmiguelly 3 года назад +12

    11:33 Hi Josh

  • @VinnySlouth
    @VinnySlouth Год назад +1

    DNA is in his humor because, Humor is in his DNA, which isn't easy with letters like ACGT.

  • @emporioalnino4670
    @emporioalnino4670 3 года назад +7

    Welcome to the bakery

  • @BigBoris
    @BigBoris 2 года назад +1

    Weird humour, I love it.

  • @weebrianful
    @weebrianful 5 месяцев назад

    Genius

  • @lloydgriffiths1847
    @lloydgriffiths1847 10 месяцев назад +4

    the umpire high chair joke was the biggest brain joke I’ve heard

  • @JB-vq6xv
    @JB-vq6xv Год назад +4

    3:56

  • @RighteousPursuitMinistries
    @RighteousPursuitMinistries 4 месяца назад +1

    Well the Kiev joke sure hasn't aged well

  • @camerondempster4147
    @camerondempster4147 3 года назад +11

    I pity the other comedians. Not matter how good their jokes are
    It's tough keeping up with the Jones's.

  • @user-db2uk8iq9r
    @user-db2uk8iq9r 5 месяцев назад +3

    "Women divers" 😆😆😆

  • @atifmanzoor63
    @atifmanzoor63 9 месяцев назад +2

    Milton reminds of of Lionel Messi

  • @pauldockree9915
    @pauldockree9915 Год назад +1

    (Lighthouse in the tempest question mark)
    DNA!

  • @robertrickwood8896
    @robertrickwood8896 Год назад +3

    The dna joke is 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @wonderwend1
    @wonderwend1 2 года назад +2

    I want to see his shirt collection

  • @JB-vq6xv
    @JB-vq6xv Год назад +3

    13:00

  • @blindsightedkill
    @blindsightedkill Год назад +2

    1:35 wait didn't Hugh Dennis say "I think that was a floating voter!"

  • @javeedsultan8484
    @javeedsultan8484 2 года назад +6

    The man is genius, on par with Steven Wright and Emo Philips

  • @nedlongdon8607
    @nedlongdon8607 4 года назад +20

    MEN 3:55

  • @mrbenoit5018
    @mrbenoit5018 11 месяцев назад +4

    8:20 why’s he so fast

  • @Maximillian-Tiberius-Rex
    @Maximillian-Tiberius-Rex 2 года назад +5

    turn the lights out she said.. what about the boats said the lighthouse keeper

    • @ElegantSpud
      @ElegantSpud 6 месяцев назад

      That whole run of lighthouse jokes was utterly brilliant. His delivery is so perfect.

  • @michaelangus5602
    @michaelangus5602 2 года назад +1

    WeLcOmE To ThE BaKeRy

  • @Laudon1228
    @Laudon1228 2 года назад +3

    Is that a terrible flan or a really good quiche?

  • @changvasejarik62
    @changvasejarik62 11 месяцев назад +2

    Frankie may have been the best, but Milton got just as many if not more laughs out of me with his absurd humor.
    I nominate him to be next cyberman king.

  • @heli-crewhgs5285
    @heli-crewhgs5285 Год назад +2

    It was so good to see Russell Howard….. say nothing!

    • @davesmith9325
      @davesmith9325 8 месяцев назад +1

      Even better we didnt see nish kumar at all

  • @JB-vq6xv
    @JB-vq6xv Год назад +2

    12:22

  • @mistyj9578
    @mistyj9578 2 года назад +1

    pml lol omg ... x hahaha

  • @paperchain1239
    @paperchain1239 2 года назад +3

    Milton would be a really cool guy to be married to.....

    • @janel342
      @janel342 2 года назад +2

      Only if you wear shades at breakfast

  • @bip3937
    @bip3937 3 года назад +5

    Pencil case joke?

  • @tomharrison1849
    @tomharrison1849 2 года назад +1

    Can anyone explain the sausage joke?

    • @changvasejarik62
      @changvasejarik62 11 месяцев назад +1

      10:13 it involves a sausage mascot from Lincolnshire used in the Olympics that looks like Dara.

  • @crashingdown6924
    @crashingdown6924 4 года назад +3

    Waiting for first jenny joke...

  • @amanekabbaj
    @amanekabbaj 4 года назад +8

    What was the sushi one? It was a bit muffled

    • @jamessteers4214
      @jamessteers4214 4 года назад +7

      Sushi is served on a moving conveyor belt in sushi restaurants. The luggage reclaim at airports also has moving conveyor belts. The guy mistook the baggage reclaim for the sushi conveyor belt.

    • @ChallengeCommander
      @ChallengeCommander 4 года назад +8

      It certainly was a slow burner for Dara

    • @paulshubsachs4977
      @paulshubsachs4977 2 года назад +1

      @@ChallengeCommander .....but, if you knew sushi like I know sushi....

  • @pauldockree9915
    @pauldockree9915 Год назад

    What's the bleedin' time? 11 minutes 40 Seconds was booked. This s light wee Kari never goes out.

  • @tweedlio2763
    @tweedlio2763 11 месяцев назад +1

    8:13 yhey do taste like a??

  • @highdownmartin
    @highdownmartin 4 месяца назад

    Not bad at accents either

  • @ZATennisFan
    @ZATennisFan Год назад +1

    Only one objection. Steffi Graf didn’t have huge biceps🤣🤣In fact she had one of the best bodies I’ve ever seen especially the legs….

  • @malcolmdale9607
    @malcolmdale9607 27 дней назад

    Other "comedians" should learn that you don't have to be obscene to be funny.

  • @xSyresi
    @xSyresi 4 года назад +2

    H

  • @edwardkinsey5680
    @edwardkinsey5680 4 года назад +12

    First

  • @beeble2003
    @beeble2003 2 года назад

    Wow, that New Orleans joke was in spectacularly bad taste. But the rest was amazing, as always.

  • @ebola1974
    @ebola1974 9 месяцев назад

    I loved him on MTW, so went to see him live. Awful. Worst stand up I’ve seen

    • @ElegantSpud
      @ElegantSpud 6 месяцев назад

      What was bad about it?

    • @ebola1974
      @ebola1974 6 месяцев назад

      @@ElegantSpud A lot of the jokes were ones he had said before on MTW, so obviously his jokes on that were not thought up on the spot and the standup routine just didn't seem to flow. I was really disappointed and so was the wife as we found him to be really funny on MTW

  • @rootpotato
    @rootpotato 3 года назад +2

    Milton Jones gives me the creeps . . . It's only a matter of time before everyone finds out what he's done!