Sadly not enough people understand that. Under extreme emotional distress and traumatic circumstances reactions will come in the craziest of ways that will never always fully be considered normal. The hysteria is real and if everyone understood that the extra backlash and mistreatment would be slim to none
Literally, he’s nervous and distraught and as per the content even of this episode even confirmed: HES STILL IN SHOCK! He’s overwhelmed and doesn’t even know where to start. This poor poor man. What a tragedy. Evil for sure lived in that house I hope they go as far as spiritual cleanse that house.
@@donnasearch1 That's your own perception though. Not reality. It's called a nervous laugh for a reason. And hearing one is uncomfortable because it's not a happy laugh. And instinctively your brain registers that only somebody under a lot of duress makes that sound. It's the same as when you hear someone wailing with despair, it makes you really uncomfortable on an instinctual level.
@@devindouzstuff_8250 Yes as a nurse I'd like to agree with your statement. The sound of his voice the tremors, the nervous laughs. Those all point to him having really strong emotional response to recounting the story. A traumatic response. It's one step before crying while you're talking, you can hear the constriction in his throat from it closing up.
I used to think that way. I said God gave us free will and that’s why bad things happen to good people. I no longer believe in an interventionist God who steps in e.g. let this 10 year old live. There is no such thing as an old man in the sky who answers prayers or intervenes in situations.
Same. When I was in a traumatic situation last year, I found myself laughing in disbelief. Then, I couldn't believe I was laughing in the situation, and what is wrong with me.
@@burpolicioussome folks do I’ve known people laugh when someone dies it’s not that they find it funny it’s a nervous response that’s uncontrollable same as crying or vomiting getting angry
I have been judged for having our now 15 year old removed from our home because she tried to kill the other kids multiple times and attacked me as well. She has issues and I will not put the other kids at risk.
My daughter is a schizophrenic who uses drugs and has other issues. I hate that she couldn't be in our life. But I have e other children who she has tried to hurt but I had to hover over her for her not to make it happen. I couldn't protect her friends and boyfriends. It was so exhausting.
U made the right choice. U have to protect the innocent children at all costs to the perpetrator. U cannot live in fear of violence in ur own home. The perpetrator will have to receive help from others who arent in harm's way. Some things have to be black & white.
I don’t judge you for that. People who judge you have likely never been in your shoes. I respect that you had to make a decision to protect the other kids even though I’m sure that was very hard. I wish your family the best.
I cannot imagine with either of my boys this happening. But if either of them did this, I'd be emotionally done. I don't know if there would be love in my heart for him anymore, and would just live as if that child was dead. And greive as if they were gone, because I could never look at him again.
The 10 year old boy’s last memory was the sight of his mother struggling for her life and family. He refused to give up fighting for his life because he knew he had to fight to get back to his mom to protect her. His story literally brought me to tears. I’m so proud of him fighting for his life for his mom and for his family.
I'm crying, too. I had to pause the video when the father was talking about how his 10 years old son was recovering, miraculously. It's beyond horrible to imagine what the mother and her youngest son experienced. I think if people do not respond emotionally after hearing a story like this, then there is something wrong with them. People have become so desensitised to other people's trauma. People nowadays are quick to name their own victimhood, but seem to lack that same empathy for others. I will pray for this man and his family's recovery.
Why should a 10 year old be expected to protect their mum and not think about themselves? It should always be the other way around. The parent chose to bring the child into a cruel world, so they should deal with every consequence. No child should be expected to do anything ever. I am god.
@pinkpugginz The saying goes, a little abuse, goes a long ways . Really 10 fold, if that inflicted by a family member. It is really one of the hardest things to go through. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I will be hoping you the best of luck ❤️❤️❤️ Much Love
@@KatherineRoseArtthat's strange considering psychopathy is not a diagnosis in the DSM. But maybe you mean he's anti social with psychopathic features
@@pinkpugginz Hmmm....it is advisable for family's of today to go back as far as possible to see what took place in the family tree; both father and mother side. This is happening so so often???
@@VinOnline the thirteen year old is going to be an extremely iffy situation as well and it will depend on how Juvy goes and how rehabilitation goes. If there is no extreme reformation of character and contrition you are correct
How do i hold my family together? You don't. You take your wife, and surviving children and you move on with them. You write off the other two and forget about them. It's the only way because your wife and son will never trust them again, and neither should you.
Nononono…he’s asking as someone bonded to his children. Emotionally, deeply bonded to the entire family he helped build and rear and dreamt of and planned for and worked for. Do any of you have deep emotional attachments to anyone? Anyone you’d never emotionally imagine being capable of detaching from, discarding, for any reason? I don’t think he’s asking for heartless, tangible steps to take. His shoulders and his heart and his soul are completely weighted in twenty different ways his mind, body and soul never prepared for, never imagined and were never organically built to work through and come out the other side well adjusted. He was on a daddy daughter day when this happened. Good chance he was deeply in love with every single human in that unit. I mean, gawd…his own flesh and blood, pieces of his heart living outside of his body attempted to murder their family. You can’t imagine? What do you say to someone coming back from war, having horrific images and experiences they’re carrying in their mind, tearing at their souls? Move on? Get a security system?
@@ec9833I'm sorry, but you're wrong. God put you and your spouse together and join you as 1 person. When you marry your spouse you are connected, you are literally 1 person. When that other person is hurt it's the same as you Being hurt period that is your permanent relationship in this life. Your children, you rear them they grow up they move on, they marry they have their own children. That's the way it is meant to be your your spouse is your permanent relationship, that's how God made that and yes, of course, we love our children. We would do anything for our children, but if your child is psychotic and crazy it is not I repeat, it is not helpful for you to cover for them and baby them. The best thing you can do is put them in a mental institution where they can get some help. And if he was a wise man, he would not let his wife go anywhere near those psychos until they are behind a wall of some sort, so she cannot be harmedand make sure that they are ready to prepare to beg her forgiveness, because there is absolutely no reason to attack her unless there was something. Quite evil going on that home that perhaps the husband didn't know. And yes Of course, he still loves his children because those are his children. But that doesn't mean that they're not psychos, that doesn't mean. That they are Safe to go out into the world
Lots of judgement on this thread. This man's 2 sons tried to kill their brother and mother. Its a miracle this father can even speak on the air like this.
Yeah this family is like the picture of f’d up. They must all be severely mentally ill and the father must be delusional if he didn’t see this coming from MILES away.
I'm so confused by this word "judgement" people make judgements, they do it in courtrooms, deciding who to date or marry. The sons were in the absolute wrong, that's a judgement.
@@shawnlove4502 No it isn’t. It’s incredibly easy if it’s my child. My child, if they did this, something is drastically wrong. They need a penitentiary. They need accountability and mental health help while being safe and being kept away from citizens for others safety. I don’t want my kid murdering someone and being put to death or being in prison for life, and some family literally losing someone so precious to them because of a human I created, and especially if they could’ve been held accountable for an early lesser extreme crime.
My brother (aged 23yrs) was killed walking home from a party nearly 30 years ago (he was hit by a freight train). All the way through his funeral I laughed like a mad man. I laughed that much that my Nana tapped me on the shoulder and told me "you need to stop laughing .. you're upsetting everyone". Laughing is some people's coping mechanism.
I reflect on my beloved grandma's funeral and what I see if an uncanny valley stepford wife version of myself smiling and greeting everyone and providing tissues for other people and fussing over little things like the flowers or rearranging picture collages of her. When it came time for people to speak, I couldnt do it. I hadnt processed any of it at that point and was dissociated. I remember looking to my left and my little sister was crying and I thought "I should comfort her. I should be crying too. Why cant I cry right now? Why cant I comfort my little sister like a damn human being right now." But it was like i was watching from a window in the back of my mind and had no control of my body. I have nightmares about my grandma all the time that she is lonely and sad and mad at me and that I've abandoned her. She was the strongest woman in my life. She was the female role model I adored and strived to be like and loved dearly. And in my heart of hearts I know that she knows my heart. But man the freaking GUILT and shame and such complicated feelings around grief ALREADY... but ESP if you have an "odd" or dissociative response or even what some may deem as "inappropriate "... idk it just makes it that much more difficult to process and understand. I'm sorry I've rambled. I've had a bit to drink on an especially emotional night and your comment tugged at my heart and sent my mind back in time a bit. Hoping you are well and sending love.
@@codirennke1109I see so much of myself in your reaction. My mum died when I was 21 years old, I smiled and shook so many peoples hands at the funeral and watched them cry while I was numb. 20 years later I realize that I was dissociated to be able to cope. Hugs to you!
This poor guy should not feel bad AT ALL about the numbness and disassociation he's experiencing. There's no "correct response" in a case where your family members almost murder other family members.
@@DontrollingBe lucky it’s not you and stop talking sht; we are snared by the words of our mouth and what we say can happen to us tenfold. You have NO clue what it’s like or what you’d do. How dare you judge this father? Edit: spelling
The “universe”? 😂🤣 You mean the same universe that has inflicted every mass disaster? The same one that murders babies still in the womb? Let me guess you think guns kill people too?
@@RunningGrass-we7tm it doesn’t sound like you’ve been educated or informed on trauma responses… I’m a nurse so yes I have . Laughing is more common than you think when someone is nervous or extremely uncomfortable
Can we pass judgment because he’s part of horrific cult that encourage his child abuse? Can we pass judgment because instead of going to the police he went to his church? I found the news articles about this case. The family was part of a cult called Grace Valley Christian Center, just google them and you’ll see horrific stories from survivors who escaped. After the teenagers beat their mom, they are the ones who called 911 themselves and force their mom to talk to the 911 operator, they were trying to get arrested and go to prison because they believed it was their only way to escape from that house. That is such a huge 🚩 that the ONLY person who actually called the cops in this situation was the perpetrator, the father called the church first and was trying to only deal with ATTEMPTED MURDER within the church. Though after reading the article, I have my doubts as to whether the kids really wanted to kill their mom or if they were just trying to beat her bad enough that they would get arrested and removed from the house. Reading the news report on it and learning the background of the cult sheds different light on this call.
Started crying when he said his wife was repeating his name and number over and over again while his child was in another hospital both in emergency states 😢 I can’t even imagine.
Dad's in "Survival" mode. Holding it together for his other kids. But he's almost at the crash point. You can hear it in his voice. I hope Counselling was provided for all of them, because the impact is going to be devastating. I hope the family can find a way to navigate through this, and there's no blame to the parents if they cut contact with the 15 & 13 yo's. This is a horrific situation and I wish them the best....and keep fighting 8yo!
I agree, I don't think I could ever have the same relationship and unconditional love for them again. This is the most traumatic story I have heard about family violence from a child/ children. Something went wrong, drugs, mental illness or pure evil? It would be very detrimental to mom and to the 10 year old who survived such a brutal attack. The 10 year old should never have to see those brothers again. Praying for this very traumatized family. This is a horrible situation for parents to confront. God, please in your tender mercy protect, guide and heal the brokenness of this family.
There had to be something to trigger this behavior from a 16 year old. Doesn’t make it right, but some outside influence or something had to nudge this behavior.
@@firefly9838 Not necessarily. I have sociopathic tendencies and I had a few times I almost hurt my family. Literally nothing except mental illness triggered it.
@@semperfiyorkies6084 well exactly… he isn’t blaming depression for what his son did. That’s the only point I’m making. People are commenting that depression is no excuse or that that they have been depressed and they would never do that. So your point and mine are the same.
@@fundamoniumI agree. The father should realize that though. They did a perfect dominant/submissive partnership in their attack. I don’t know if the younger brother is a sociopath but he should definitely be held accountable. I personally could never allow them into my life again. And if the man wants to keep his relationship with his wife he’s going to have to do that as well. I get he’s their father, but he’s also the father to the other 3.
@@juice2620God isn’t there to solve peoples problems, this is like when a parent solves his kids issues, they will grow up spoiled like brats and won’t mature in adult stage. God can’t be around solving the problems you get yourself into. Learn the lesson and grow up. NEXT LESSON!!
God is exist people never understand this God gives us our freedom and brain is exist two ways good and bad and ur choose and God tells us the result of it and tells what rights for us and others called human rights and when we needs God to fix our problems for us just pary to God he will do it for us!
Having grown up in a similar situation, with an older brother that was EXTREMELY violent. Not your normal childhood fights, this was myself and other family members ending up I emergency rooms with SERIOUS injuries. The Police and Justice system did nothing except blame my parents. All we could do is try to protect each other until we were all old enough to move and hide. My parents did everything legally possible to keep us safe. Later in life my father told me he considering killing this brother and turning himself in immediately so that the rest of the family could live in peace. I'm sure glad that never happened because as an adult I have had a chance to spend real time with my family and especially my father. We all have children now and its nice that everyone gets to know each other in a loving, happy and functioning way. The one brother ended up in prison for a sentence nearly 30 years, and I can say that this is the best time of my family's life. Everyone has prospered mental and financially and it's amazing how one bad apple can ruin the bunch.
I was more fortunate, we were able to get my step-brother out when he was 14 vs keeping him there due to a counselor that told my step-Dad to just let him go and live with his mother (who was so unstable, he got custody of 3 kids in the '70s). All our lives were so much better after that. Glad you have good relationships now.
That’s a horrible situation to grow up in. A friend’s daughter who’s a teen regularly violently attacks her family.She’s strangled her hamsters to death and killed several cats.Her mum is very supportive and has her in counselling etc. homeschools, took her to horse therapy but she attacked the horses. Mums convinced she must have autism or something but no dr can find anything wrong her. Her Mum thinks that she’s just masking in therapy as she acts normal there.I’m no expert but this kid is fully in control of her behaviour when she wants to be ,ie in a crowded clothes shop when she’s being treated to what she wants. It wouldn’t surprise me if she went onto do something else
@@Purplelemon5033that's not just autism. It sounds like she may have the Dark Tetrad personality: Sadism, psychopathy, narcissism, machiavellianism. Autism symptoms do not include killing animals.
The mom was definitely abusive. Both parents were. I found a news article about this case. The family was part of a cult called Grace Valley Christian Center that has a track record of encouraging horrific child abuse. If you just google them you’ll see stories of survivors who escaped the cult and talk about how horrible it is. The teens who attacked the mom beat her badly enough to injure her and then called 911 to report what they just did, then they gave the phone to their mom so she could describe her injuries, and she could get the right medical attention. It sounds less like attempted murder, and more like they were so desperate to get out of that house that the only thing they could come up with was committing a crime bad enough to get arrested, they thought prison would be better than staying there.
@bebop2523 Where is the evidence for this? All I can find are a couple of random websites (stating the exact same story) and Yelp reviews. And also why did the brothers almost kill their 10 year old little brother if all they wanted to do was leave? That doesn't make sense.
@@roxillatastic it’s “insane” that I read multiple news sources about this case that all say the same thing, that they were part of Grace Valley Christian Center? It’s “insane” that there are numerous former members who say Grace Valley Christian Center is a cult that encourages horrific abuse? If ALL of these sources are wrong then please enlighten me!
It would be nice if the world were black and white. Cause/effect. I could see your theory if they hadn’t involved the youngest brother. That they did leads me to wonder if this is psychosis of one (maybe the older) influencing the younger.
This poor man not only almost lost his wife and son, he has now lost his 2 sons to prison. And he has to now deal with the aftermath of all of this. Wow. Be grateful for each moment. You're life can change in an instant. Sending prayers for this family.
You are correct, there will never be trust or confidence in their home again. So much lost in one deranged day. I join in your prayers for this father and family.
Prison? What a joke. They’ll be out to do it again in six months with nothing on their record because they’re minors. The only change is they’ll have a team of liberal lawyers explaining how it’s the victims’ fault and they’ll have court-appointed psychobabble seasons weekly to make them worse!
Look up the news articles about this case. This man was part of a cult that encouraged horrific child abuse. When he found out about the attack, instead of calling 911 he called the cult leader, that was his response to ATTEMPTED MURDER, to try to brush it under the rug and have the cult deal with it internally, rather than involve the cops. The only person who called 911 in this whole situation was the 16-year-old perpetrator. He called and had them speak to his mom to get her medical treatment after he had beat her. From reading the article, it sounds like they were just trying to beat their mother and brother badly enough that they would be removed from the home, they were so desperate to get out of the cult that they thought prison was a better option. How horrible for the innocent 10-year-old boy.
My daughter's coma score was 0-3 with her TBI. She was in a coma for 14 days not expected to live. She was sixteen. Now she is 28 years old and is married and is working as a care giver to seniors. She now has a paralyzed hand and walks with palsy. She was a passenger in a car that rolled. She got thrown out and hit a tree and a tree branch impaled her. She can't have children due to the risk of blood clots again. I told you this for encouragement because your son is young he has a better chance to recover a lot back ❤❤❤
Wow, I'm so sorry for what has happened to your family, glad she recovered ❤. I work on a neurosurgical/major trauma ward and sadly most of our patients with such a GCS score don't make it out. Your daughter truly is a survivor, lots of love to you ❤
@im_twinzy6033 No she was sitting on her boyfriend's lap. It was a five passenger SUV with only 5 seat belts. She blungers herself for this enough. It was more sinister than that. The girls that were driving duck taped her roll bar so she had nothing to hang on to when they purposely wanted to see her fly around the back seat. It was a prank on my daughter that went horribly wrong.
@@theynot4u Wow. That sounds terrifying. Sociopaths are scary people and I never want to have to be trapped in a room with one. They're the closest to natural evil you can get.
@bilbobaggins4403 I appreciate you acknowledging partially. I'm not a mental health expert, but I've done some research. We had almost 30 foster children, and we could see a genetic predisposition in some kids based on our experience with parents. Also, while some parents were just awful, the kids were great. There seems to be a myriad of factors that can influence mental health.
@@bilbobaggins4403 not in my case. My son was angry and as soon as he could walk, he grabbed sticks to hit me as soon as I turned my back. I worked at nights to take care of him during the day. He was so loved by my mom and me.
It's hard for me to feel sorry for the 16 year old after he almost killed his 10 year old brother He is depressed because he is going to jail not because he has a chemical imbalance in the brain
@@arga400 ah, so you saw all the yelp reviews and other articles about how members have to sign a lifelong covenant starting at age 10? And you saw how the members are encouraged to marry each other and nobody from any other “church”?? And also how any financial decisions have to first be run through the pastor?
@@COINsimp2024 a kid doesn’t know that. Or perhaps a kid isn’t ALLOWED to.. maybe by a certain *mother* - and home schooled.. maybe they were *forced* into a certain lifestyle 🤔
As a young adult, my parents were housing a niece who was having behavioral problems. I was staying there at night a few days a week due to a summer job. My mother discovered my cousins journal that she kept. It was very detailed in plans to kill my parents in their sleep, steal the car and credit cards and escape. One note was evident, " plans on hold until my cousin moves back to his house". Pretty obvious she knew should could not take down three of us, even if asleep. I was working a 11 pm to 10 am shift. My schedule alternated from days, to nights. So she did not know my schedule. Mom shipped her off back to her parents.
@@dania688 Nah... Would that be enough "motivation" for anyone to do that? It takes crazy. Even if you're a sociopath who doesn't care who they kill wouldn't do that because they know they would get caught right away.
I had to ask my 18 year old daughter to leave when I found text messages about how she wanted us (mom, dad and sister) dead. She had previously (age 15) been hospitalized for threatening to kill her sister. She had been seeing a psychologist and was on some medication that helped. As soon as she turned 18 she stopped seing the dr and stopped taking her medication. Then all hell broke out! It's been almost 3 years now. Some people tell me I'm awful and others understand. I wasn't going to be on the news and wondering why I didn't do something when I saw the signs.
@@MarksTournamentsUnfortunately, you used incorrect words in your sentence. The sentence doesn't make sense. If you were educated in USA.... We are all F'ed.
And she has plenty of reason not to! Honestly, they should be locked away and throw out the key! These kids are old enough to know exactly what they were doing!!!
I had to watch my mom get abused almost everyday as a young boy. I felt like a failure because I was too weak to protect her. I can't even imagine wanting to hurt her. I can't understand this evil
@@constancemccoy6931 I've been trying really hard to get better. My anger has caused me to go to jail and it has caused me to be involuntarily committed. She's still with him after all of these years. I told her I would pay for her apartment and I offered my mom to move in with me, but she still stays with him. I don't understand it. The bastard hasn't touched her in a long time because he knows that she has to give me a phone call and I am right there, ready. I want my momma to be safe, but she says she loves him. I don't get it. If a man beats on a woman that he says he loves, then he is scum in my eyes. She's practically a maid for him. And he still talks down to her. I was there for Easter, to celebrate. She cooked a huge amount of food for Easter dinner. After the dinner, he screamed at her to clean up the kitchen. I stood up and I yelled, "What if she doesn't wtf are you gonna do???!!!" I was ready for another fight. But then she pulled me to the garage and told me I shouldn't disrespect him. It makes me so mad. I'd never treat my wife or girlfriend or anyone like how my step-dad treats her. I'm so confused. I just want everyone to be safe and happy. All I'm good for is my muscle. If I can't use my strength to protect my momma, then what good am I as a man?
Oh sweet human, I am so sorry you had to hold all that pain and trauma everyday. You sound as if you chose a better path despite the horrid examples you were shown daily!
My cousin tried to kill my grandma. Came into her room at night, held her mouth open, and proceeded to pour bleach down her throat. Then tried to strangle her. Thankfully they weren’t home alone. She lived, but they let him live there still. I’ve never gone back.
My son tried to kill me after many years of abusing me as he is bipolar. It was my 2 year old that saved him and woke him from that slicing and cutting me trance. At the time my mom was alive and my sister wanted me to take him back. I guess my life is worthless to them because they beat me up themselves when I was young. This was an easy NO. I finally could live without looking over my shoulder but it breaks my heart because it was my son and not a stranger. He will be back in October from prison but not here and i live in constant fear still of what is to come. No more contact with him for the sake of my kids and I. I feel for this family and mom because I completely know what you are going through.
I have bipolar disorder and have only hurt myself. Theres something beneath the surface you don’t know about and your son has to figure that out. Once we grow up it’s up to us to address our issues. Please move away and protect yourself.
When I went to the hospital after my daughter was in a car accident, I went completely numb. I can understand why this caller is talking the way he is. I was in shock for two months afterwards. Something like this changes you forever. Hearts out to his family.
I'm bawling.. Thank goodness for daddy daughter days. That little girl could have been there and being so little, she may not have survived. My heart is broken for this dad and mom.
Me too. My heart aches thinking about this whole family and everybody who suffers from mental illness. I wish I could just wrap my arms around people who are suffering and somehow make it better.. this is just heartbreaking 😭
Was there an update?? Man… this was hard to listen to. He went through so much and I felt so overwhelmed on his behalf. But I want to know how they’re doing 2 years later.
I haven't been able to find much in terms of an update. The family's last name is Van Der Veen from Elverta, California. The 10 year old is Benji, but I wasn't able to find anything about the sons who committed this crime (probably because of their ages). You can find a few things on Google using this info, but not much.
I found the parents Aaron and Brianna on FB there isn't much but grandma Judy has updated pics of her grand kids and Benji and the mom look great all things considered
I started to cry uncontrollably when the dad said his son is able to walk and talk after a level 1 brain injury. The moms prayers for more time during the incident were heard loud and clear ❤
@@mromero911 There is also a little girl. She was at work with the Dad at the time. I'm assuming the commenter meant it's a given the son who was attacked is being looked after, but that the other child will have trauma even though she wasn't there.
Did they do a drug test? What kind of drugs these two children were taking? I pray all the members of this family get all the help they need. They all will need it now, and in the future. The nervous laughter of the dad, he his hanging on by a thread. I pray for them. 🌹🌹
The family is in a cult. I found the original article about this case. A cult called Grace Valley Christian Center. Survivors who escaped the cult have talked about the horrific child abuse. They all need therapies specifically meant deprogram cult members. I’m sure the abusive cult had a lot to do with the reasons why the kids attack their mom
If it was truly premeditated, what that 16 year old is experiencing is not depression, at least related to his actions. He is full of regret because his life will be forever marred and he’s just realizing that; he doesn’t regret trying to kill that woman. Absolutely tragic. I pray for those people, every single one of them.
He has no remorse, shame, or guilt. The son is a psychopath. He is only sorry he got caught, he isn’t sorry at all for what he did. He isn’t a sociopath, but a psychopath. There are clear differences between the two of them. Psychopaths plan things out, sociopaths are impulsive.
@@sds6303 only he didn’t get “caught” he confessed and sought out help. No this is 100% the fault of primarily the parents fault, in particular the father.
I remember the day before the first day of school, My oldest brother was drunk or on drugs but he had a knife and said he wanted to kill us. My mom and my three older brothers ran to our bedroom and locked ourselves in there until police arrived. I remember I was only 9 years old being soo scared. I remember praying to God that he would make him stop. I can't imagine how afraid they were.
This is a catastrophic tragedy. That poor family, ESPECIALLY the poor younger son who knew it was right to help but got hit 🥺 that poor baby. I pray that he is restored completely. The brain is an amazing thing, especially at such a young age, you never know how well they will heal.
Hope they do heal.. but whole family needs to leave Grace Valley Community Center. So many people have been scarred by the demands of the pastor and any child who grows up in it will no doubt have issues
My Baptist preacher cousin’s adopted 17 year old daughter(they adopted her at 2 wks old) stabbed him and his wife over 20 times each trying to kill them. They were in ICU for weeks and almost died but they refused to press charges. Nothing happened to her, they didn’t even put her in a mental hospital. Now 12 years later she’s an EMT and hasn’t been in trouble since and her parents act like nothing ever happened. It’s a little crazy.
I don't understand why it was up to the victims of an attempted murder to press charges. Surely that should be the job of the police and the courts, regardless of the parents'/victims' wishes.
That doesn't sound true at all. It's not up to you to press charges lol. If you try to kill one it is the state vs you, not victim vs you. Ain't nobody going free for attempted murder just because the victim didn't want to press charges. Bunch of liars up in these comments.
@@WoolandFlax It isn't about whether or not the victim can press charges. It's how cooperative they are with the office and police. Even if the DA subpoenas them to testify they can give minimal answers, say I don't recall, tell the truth but frame it in a way that looks better for the defense. A DA is most likely not going to pursue charges when the victim(s) is completely unwilling to help them.
It depends on what city and state these assaults and murders take place because law enforcement and courts have different laws and procedures. I think people like Gypsy Rose got away with it because of being in Missouri. The Menendez Bros and Scott Peterson in California don’t get away with murder. This would never happen in California nor Texas because of the dedication of law enforcement/police and the court systems. The only way is if it goes to supreme court, then it’s federal.
I have worked with incarcerated, kids and teens most of my career. It is very very very unusual for a happy, healthy, well addressed kid/kids to just snap. I hope for all involved that a thorough environmental and situational investigation is conducted and both boys need a thorough mental and physical health work up as well, normally when this sort of situation occurs, there is either an untold story or a latent health issue. That is the impetus for such a radical change in behavior. Often there are signs of individual or family trouble that go unnoticed or misinterpreted. My heart aches for everyone involved.
As a social worker my feelers were out here too. Obviously there's no excuse for what they did. But I want to know why those kids wanted to kill their mom and run away. Was she abusive? Were these two kids targeted? Happy healthy kids who love their parents don't usually just snap.
Google cultish homeschooling--it is definitely real. There have been allegations of physical and child sexual abuse leveled against the strict "cult" of Grace Valley Christian Center (GVCC) in Davis just west of Sacramento--which some online articles indicate this family was a member of. I can't seem to find any mention of the subsequent trial or its outcome.
Aaron - if you read these comments please know strangers are praying for you, your wife and all of your kids. It’s going to be tough, but you can rebuild a life for your family- John D is right, it won’t be the same, but with the Lord’s help you all can do it. You’re in my prayers
I'm sorry, but there's no coming back from this level of desensitization to violence. People who do this kind of harm at this age, where you are old enough to work/consent, they do this again. Sorry, but he needs to be in a cage forever. He chose to do this for 45 minutes in a row. It is what it is.
@Femto that's objectively false, this type of behavior can be genetic (apx 2% of ppl are born psychopaths) and to have two sons do it can show a genetic component. It can also be external influences. Many times kids get idea from hanging out with the wrong ppl. really it's 50/50, also look into the church which also may be an issue (their particular church not all churches)
@overlordfemto7523 eventually people need to be held accountable for their own actions. this is clearly not a matter of poor parenting and I think having your kids trying to kill you/your spouse/their siblings is punishment enough.
@@rebelks88 why are you asking about a jury trial? I believe young people have had jury trials. I only went by this podcast. I didn't look to see if it was in the news.
One thing to watch out for with the youngest son, he mentioned the doctors noted that he was eating a lot, which could be a sign of brain damage. If you have lesions in the satiety center of your brain, specifically the ventromedial hypothalamic nucleus (VMN), which is the part of your brain that responds to leptin (the hormone that regulates "fullness"), he might start developing an obesity problem. Something to look out for.
You don't know what's actually going on. So stop assuming. They aren't being defended but it is very possible that they had some kind of manic episode or something considering they calmed down after talking to their mom after 45 minutes
My sister, who has been caretaker for her sick husband for decades, said she keeps her sanity by doing something good for her every day. Takes long walks, eats healthy, etc.
Your sister is amazing to be caring as long as she has God Bless this family 👪 sounds like she's doing well and keep finding her own outlets to feel peace....she is a special caring person!
Some teenagers are all emotions and the thinking brain is not firing at all sadly, those are the teenagers that drop out and get into trouble and dangerous situations.
@@metaphordreams378 as the father and pastor this man created and maintained a home so sick that his own son’s plotted MURDER against their own mother. He was clearly not paying ANY attention to his boy’s or his wife. That kind of anger and resentment can be felt by everyone, if they’re paying attention. However the main reason is that the only plausible reason these boy’s could have done this, to have this anger or resentment towards their mother the father must have been feeding them lies soaked in blame. The father was obviously blaming everything on his wife, just as he glossed over in his call here. Nope sorry by the father is responsible for the discipline and general mood for the home. Clearly he failed in that role and thus put the mother in a position she wasn’t capable of full filing.
@@sarahalderman3126 you really shouldn’t make assumptions about that man if you don’t know anything. Who are you to say that this is the fathers fault. You should be ashamed of yourself.
I dated a man with a brain injury and all I can say is I would never wish it upon anybody, literally at times witnessing someone who's just a shell of themselves. Then random Outburst about things that don't make sense and things that are perseverated on and having the same fight over and over like a broken Loop, not to mention the memory loss and the personality changes. My ex said he literally had to write down the good memories and repeat them and focus on them for weeks to commit them to Memory . He broke my heart when he told me in an outburst he threw the notebook with our memories away . Seriously pray for this kid and their family.
That’s amazing. The Glasgow Coma Scale is actually 3-15, there are 3 categories (1-4 eye opening, 1-5 verbal response, 1-6 motor response), and anything below an 8 is a coma, 8-13 is minimally conscious, and 14-15 is normal enough). I know this because I was also in a coma (GCS of a dead body=3), but mine was from falling off a cliff. The fact I could recover at all is definitely a blessing from God, and because of neuroplasticity! I fell when I was 18, so my brain was still fairly plastic, and I imagine your son’s age definitely helped him recover, too! There’s more neuroplasticity in younger patients, and I think we’re both so thankful for that!
When he talked about his son it took me back to last year when my son was hit by a car. Pupils fixed and dilated. Coma scale score 1. Devastating I thought we were going to lose him. Beyond grateful that he not only survived but is back almost 100%.
Horrific situation for everyone involved. This is not a normal teen mad at mom situation. There are some deep underlying rage dynamics with this family’s relationships. I’m sure the father is going over and over what he could have done differently. I hope they all get professional help and guidance 💕
The father needs to be removed from everyones life. His younger son needs to be protected from his influence permanently along with his wife! The father clearly encouraged (intentionally or not) violence within the home, along with resentment and hatred.
They’re in what ex members termed an abusive cult and homeschool. We’ve seen this play out before, homeschool, cultish controlling church and sons trying to end their parents
One or both of the boys might be psychopathic, if not both of them one could have manipulated the other to take part in this plan. There is no cause for psychopathy and there is no cure.
Depression doesnt cause you to commit murder. So many questions here....1) how were these children raised? Studies show neglected babies left alone grow up as criminals with no remorse for their actions. 2) My "wife" is she the bio mother of these kids? 3) Have these kids experienced abuse from someone? Extreme abuse while not being believed by a parent can cause you to go off the rails. SOOOOO MUCH MORE going on here. I pray for this family and hope one day they can heal from all of this.
This also happened during Covid, so that could be a factor. I don’t think it’s talked about how much Covid has affected children/teens. Being isolated from your friends and life due to an outer force you can’t control, may have been a factor, but of course we don’t know.
This is an act of psychopathy as far as I’m concerned. Shocking. That brave little boy. ❤ Those dangerous, murderous boys needs to be taken out of society . Depression? No . Psychopathy
Those kids need to be evaluated by professionals that are specialized in personality disorders. They're probably seeing regular therapists that are completely clueless. You're right, that is psychopathy, not depression. Those kids are a danger to everyone.
I ain’t even gonna blame anyone because obviously we really don’t know much other than what we are hearing something going on with that kid needs to be addressed professionally
@@saltycat662 Hi, I am a therapist and we are generally taught not to diagnose anyone with a personality disorder under the age of 18. Personality disorders are not hard to diagnose but take time to diagnose due to the fact that children are still developing well through adolescence; their "adult" personality is not usually in place until their mid-20s. We learn/grow/change through our lifespan but the "static" parts of our personality do not emerge until there is evidence of a pattern of behavior that persists after the early developmental stages end. Some therapists will diagnose before age 18 but it is not considered to be a good practice to do so. Harming someone is not indicative of a personality disorder with the exception of antisocial personality disorder (APD); the precursor diagnosis in childhood for this is conduct disorder (although not every child with conduct disorder goes on to develop APD in adulthood. Conduct disorder is not a personality disorder so a parent does not need to seek out a therapist who specializes in personality disorders. Hope this helps!
My daughter has a daughter that tried to hurt her brother and younger sister. She’s out of the house. They have written her off because she chooses not to change and they can’t take the chance. That’s sad to say about your own child but she’s a danger to everyone. They had put up security cameras with sound so she couldn’t say anything against them.
I've been around this a couple of times in my life. When I lived in Wyoming, in a nearby town, Thermopolis, a young man snapped, killed everyone in his family except his dad. Now I live in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, and two young men did the same thing, they killed their parents, most of their siblings, left a sister and a baby behind. The older son was a leader, younger was a follower, just like Aaron's kids.
it's actually more common than a lot of people realize. at that age, young males have a lot of testosterone rushing in their veins, a skewed sense of logic, rage, a desire to prove themselves, and lack of empathy. it's a fragile and dangerous period. this is why the military specifically seeks them out for combat.
@@jones2277 yes but something ELSE is happening in society for this to become more common…. Those developmental things have always been true and yet we haven’t had mass killings and family murder to this degree
@@mamat1213 the something else is that they're followers and copycats. they see one do it and the others will do it too. but think about this: gang violence, terrorist blocks, it's all the same thing. every culture has violent angry young men who are causing havoc. we're not unique in this regard. the only difference is we thought we were immune, but it's always been happening.
This is so amazing! The way you talked to him, advised him, and let him know the emotional rollercoaster is ok without even knowing him. At first I wondered why he would call this show to talk about something like this but clearly he called the right person. Bravo to him and you Dr. Delony.
Updates would be awesome on some of these calls. I pray this family is healing the best way they possibly can with the aftermath of such a tragedy. Dr. John, you ARE a gem! Thank you for sharing yourself with the world!
Can't help but wonder what role their church, Grace Valley Christian Center in Davis, CA played in fracturing this family. Former members, who call it a cult, report control, manipulation and abuse to the extent that members are required to submit weekly reports of everything that takes place in their daily lives. Files are kept on every member. A former member describes the church as life ruining, family ruining and traumatizing. ( Source: Davis Vanguard...a news reporting organization that covers the city of Davis, CA and Yolo County courts)
My family went through something very criminal well known and traumatic as well. Our friends were so horrible. We couldn't handle being around them. We have faced years of stuff with no support. It is so hard. Funny thing was that when there was a chance to go on media interviews they jumped on that. I am glad that people are there to support him. That would be a tough one. Praise G-d that his wife and son are getting better.
I cannot begin to imagine what Aaron and his family are going through right now. My heart goes out to him and in the end, I hope his family heals from all of this.
Second time I’ve had to come and leave a comment on the advice that you give John. You are so incredibly good at what you do and so wise. This is a gnarly situation, but everything you told this man is exactly what he needed to hear, and how he needs to go about the situation and you delivered it with compassion, directness, and clarity. You have an incredible gift.
@arfriedman4577 And why should he be bothered about influencing jurors? Should he be worried about them recommending too high or too low a sentence? Should he even know at this point? I'm not sure it makes sense for him to be worrying about anything other than taking care of himself and the remaining members of his family. Then just do his due diligence and give the state whatever information he knows and let the chips fall where they may.
Delony's advice is excellent and better than anything I could have thought of. A lot of it is about how to deal with the details of financial and legal problems that are going to drag on for years to come. He tells him how to build a team of people to help. That and how to deal with grief. It's really great advice.
There's an article in The Christian Post about this case. Apparently the church they were involved in is focused on "discipline" and has been accused by some former members of being a cult. Very interesting read.
Interesting about that church being cult like .. if so maybe brainwashing was going on .. I’ve never heard of 2 children going on a rampage like this , def some mental break in these kids .
Regardless of their ages, if someone holds such indifference to human life (let alone their own family's lives), they need to be locked up for life. The family they have and the society they live in has to be kept safe, and if locking them up for good and getting them serious therapy is what it takes then so be it.
Spot on !!!!!!! I’m a retired Psychologist at 79 yo F and Dr Milton Erickson was my mentor along with my husband Dr Adrian Williams. I’m Patricia and I am impressed with your entire structured rant of instructions. I am impressed because you are so correct. Thank you, John.
This is absolutely insane. The fact that it's his own blood makes it so much sadder. I'm glad the mom and son survived. I can't imagine what it's like going through that. Sending love to everybody!!!
Curious, were these full blood relatives? The gentleman refers to attacking 'his wife' but not attacking 'their mother.' It's all a horrible tragedy. :(
Yes. 5 kids. She was the stay at home mom and homeschooled I believe all of them with one being in college at the time of the attack. 16yo attacker was an award winning pianist. Family went to the controversial Grace Valley Christian Center for church.
For real? The Grace Valley? I wonder if that’s a coincidence or not….it has a lot of sexual abuse allegations involving church members and covering the allegations. And some label it as a Christian cult.
Dad is not rude for laughing, it’s an emotional response when you’re uncomfortable.
I do the same thing.. got in trouble often in the Army
Sadly not enough people understand that. Under extreme emotional distress and traumatic circumstances reactions will come in the craziest of ways that will never always fully be considered normal. The hysteria is real and if everyone understood that the extra backlash and mistreatment would be slim to none
happened to me once in a very serious situation where I alternatively ugly cried and laughed like a maniac. it was horrible
I do that as well.
Literally, he’s nervous and distraught and as per the content even of this episode even confirmed: HES STILL IN SHOCK! He’s overwhelmed and doesn’t even know where to start. This poor poor man. What a tragedy. Evil for sure lived in that house I hope they go as far as spiritual cleanse that house.
Those nervous giggles are a sign of trauma. This is very very sad.
yea poor guy’s voice was shaking the whole time🙁🙁
I said the exact same thing when I was listening to his story and he was giggling through the details I knew it was because of trauma😥
Who wouldn't, have trauma,after this. So sad, cause he loved all involved..
I thought the same 😭💙
My friend and I call them our diffusive laugh, when we're talking about stressful things. I noticed them too
Giggling is a coping mechanism. Give the man grace for losing his entire family because it will never be the same
@@donnasearch1 he might be more overwhelmed by the attention. it must be hard getting on a podcast like this and sharing your story ):
@@donnasearch1stfu u don’t know how u would act in this situation, which is crazy. You’re a coward for judging another man going through this
@donnasearch1 you've never laughed because you were nervous? It's a very normal anxiety response
@@donnasearch1 That's your own perception though. Not reality. It's called a nervous laugh for a reason. And hearing one is uncomfortable because it's not a happy laugh. And instinctively your brain registers that only somebody under a lot of duress makes that sound. It's the same as when you hear someone wailing with despair, it makes you really uncomfortable on an instinctual level.
@@devindouzstuff_8250 Yes as a nurse I'd like to agree with your statement. The sound of his voice the tremors, the nervous laughs. Those all point to him having really strong emotional response to recounting the story. A traumatic response. It's one step before crying while you're talking, you can hear the constriction in his throat from it closing up.
As someone who has walked into a crime scene and has similar trauma I can attest to the nervous laughter it is 1000% a trauma response.
I used to think that way. I said God gave us free will and that’s why bad things happen to good people. I no longer believe in an interventionist God who steps in e.g. let this 10 year old live. There is no such thing as an old man in the sky who answers prayers or intervenes in situations.
Correct God is not an old man
Prayers for you
Same. When I was in a traumatic situation last year, I found myself laughing in disbelief. Then, I couldn't believe I was laughing in the situation, and what is wrong with me.
@@burpolicioussome folks do I’ve known people laugh when someone dies it’s not that they find it funny it’s a nervous response that’s uncontrollable same as crying or vomiting getting angry
If he doesn't laugh, he'd probably cry. Leave dad alone. He's processing grief and trauma.
He’ll probably fall apart for real! I agree let him giggle. I can’t even imagine staying sane in this situation 💔
He keeps sighing loudly, he's trying to blow off the incredible trauma that he's so recently gone through.
I'm a woman who has been dealing with a terrible situation for 9 years and that laugh instead of cry is something I know all too well.
I have been judged for having our now 15 year old removed from our home because she tried to kill the other kids multiple times and attacked me as well. She has issues and I will not put the other kids at risk.
My daughter is a schizophrenic who uses drugs and has other issues. I hate that she couldn't be in our life. But I have e other children who she has tried to hurt but I had to hover over her for her not to make it happen. I couldn't protect her friends and boyfriends. It was so exhausting.
U made the right choice. U have to protect the innocent children at all costs to the perpetrator. U cannot live in fear of violence in ur own home. The perpetrator will have to receive help from others who arent in harm's way. Some things have to be black & white.
I don’t judge you for that. People who judge you have likely never been in your shoes. I respect that you had to make a decision to protect the other kids even though I’m sure that was very hard. I wish your family the best.
Wish you & your family the best, including your 15 yo. You did what you had to do, hopefully she gets the help that she needs
Wise ❤🎉
As a mother of two sons, I don't think I could forgive my son for trying to murder me or my other child. I couldn't look at his face again.
My kids could take *me* out if they wanted to, but I wouldn't be able to get past them hurting my other babies
Please don't say that. If you gave birth to sons, they do not have the right to kill you. Your life matters.
Nope! Done.
I cannot imagine with either of my boys this happening. But if either of them did this, I'd be emotionally done. I don't know if there would be love in my heart for him anymore, and would just live as if that child was dead. And greive as if they were gone, because I could never look at him again.
@@dsmith7684it’s the fact he hurt the other children that is worse
The 10 year old boy’s last memory was the sight of his mother struggling for her life and family. He refused to give up fighting for his life because he knew he had to fight to get back to his mom to protect her.
His story literally brought me to tears. I’m so proud of him fighting for his life for his mom and for his family.
I'm crying, too. I had to pause the video when the father was talking about how his 10 years old son was recovering, miraculously. It's beyond horrible to imagine what the mother and her youngest son experienced. I think if people do not respond emotionally after hearing a story like this, then there is something wrong with them. People have become so desensitised to other people's trauma. People nowadays are quick to name their own victimhood, but seem to lack that same empathy for others. I will pray for this man and his family's recovery.
Why should a 10 year old be expected to protect their mum and not think about themselves? It should always be the other way around. The parent chose to bring the child into a cruel world, so they should deal with every consequence. No child should be expected to do anything ever. I am god.
@@Ben_2040that's not what he meant
The 10 year old running for help and getting hit, tears for this child, such a brave boy
@@user-zy9yg2eu5t Dude...
@@user-zy9yg2eu5t buster
You still come on at 4 p.m Dr. Phil?
Against his own brothers, even!
Very brave god 🙏 bless them
My brother is a sociopath, and it is terrifying. I've cut off all contact.
my stepdad is one too. he ruined 3 generations of our family with abuse and trauma
@pinkpugginz The saying goes, a little abuse, goes a long ways .
Really 10 fold, if that inflicted by a family member.
It is really one of the hardest things to go through. Not just physically, but mentally as well.
I will be hoping you the best of luck ❤️❤️❤️ Much Love
My little bro was diagnosed psychopath and later schizoaffective. He put my family through hell. We finally cut off contact.
@@KatherineRoseArtthat's strange considering psychopathy is not a diagnosis in the DSM. But maybe you mean he's anti social with psychopathic features
@@pinkpugginz
Hmmm....it is advisable for family's of today to go back as far as possible to see what took place in the family tree; both father and mother side.
This is happening so so often???
You can NEVER let your 16 year old NEAR your wife or your ten year old again.
you can NEVER let you 16 year old NEAR anyone alone.. He should always be with other two three people.
@@gretalukoseviciute2058 I agree
Protect the other 3 kids. They need.counseling & love too. I feel for this family
What about the 13 yo too, they both conspired.
@@VinOnline the thirteen year old is going to be an extremely iffy situation as well and it will depend on how Juvy goes and how rehabilitation goes. If there is no extreme reformation of character and contrition you are correct
IT IS DEVASTATING WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE HURTS SOMEONE YOU LOVE
How do i hold my family together? You don't. You take your wife, and surviving children and you move on with them. You write off the other two and forget about them. It's the only way because your wife and son will never trust them again, and neither should you.
Straight up
Exactly.
Move. Don't leave a forwarding address and get a really good security system.
Nononono…he’s asking as someone bonded to his children. Emotionally, deeply bonded to the entire family he helped build and rear and dreamt of and planned for and worked for. Do any of you have deep emotional attachments to anyone? Anyone you’d never emotionally imagine being capable of detaching from, discarding, for any reason? I don’t think he’s asking for heartless, tangible steps to take. His shoulders and his heart and his soul are completely weighted in twenty different ways his mind, body and soul never prepared for, never imagined and were never organically built to work through and come out the other side well adjusted. He was on a daddy daughter day when this happened. Good chance he was deeply in love with every single human in that unit. I mean, gawd…his own flesh and blood, pieces of his heart living outside of his body attempted to murder their family. You can’t imagine? What do you say to someone coming back from war, having horrific images and experiences they’re carrying in their mind, tearing at their souls? Move on? Get a security system?
@@ec9833I'm sorry, but you're wrong. God put you and your spouse together and join you as 1 person. When you marry your spouse you are connected, you are literally 1 person. When that other person is hurt it's the same as you Being hurt period that is your permanent relationship in this life. Your children, you rear them they grow up they move on, they marry they have their own children. That's the way it is meant to be your your spouse is your permanent relationship, that's how God made that and yes, of course, we love our children. We would do anything for our children, but if your child is psychotic and crazy it is not I repeat, it is not helpful for you to cover for them and baby them. The best thing you can do is put them in a mental institution where they can get some help. And if he was a wise man, he would not let his wife go anywhere near those psychos until they are behind a wall of some sort, so she cannot be harmedand make sure that they are ready to prepare to beg her forgiveness, because there is absolutely no reason to attack her unless there was something. Quite evil going on that home that perhaps the husband didn't know. And yes Of course, he still loves his children because those are his children. But that doesn't mean that they're not psychos, that doesn't mean. That they are Safe to go out into the world
Lots of judgement on this thread. This man's 2 sons tried to kill their brother and mother. Its a miracle this father can even speak on the air like this.
@L Cam I chuckle when I'm about to cry to keep myself from crying. I think it's common
@L Cam I have inappropriate reactions to extreme stress, I can't imagine how I'd react to my children trying to kill their parent.
I know. ppl just wanna go on about "THERE WERE DEFINITELY SIGNS!" easy enough to say when it isn't your kids that tried to kill your wife
Yeah this family is like the picture of f’d up. They must all be severely mentally ill and the father must be delusional if he didn’t see this coming from MILES away.
I'm so confused by this word "judgement" people make judgements, they do it in courtrooms, deciding who to date or marry. The sons were in the absolute wrong, that's a judgement.
At 16, and 13 for that matter, they know exactly what they are doing, and as a father i would definitely press all charges i legally can.
Easier said than done. Especially if you love your children
Responsibility at 16 he may kill someone else
@@shawnlove4502 No it isn’t. It’s incredibly easy if it’s my child. My child, if they did this, something is drastically wrong. They need a penitentiary. They need accountability and mental health help while being safe and being kept away from citizens for others safety. I don’t want my kid murdering someone and being put to death or being in prison for life, and some family literally losing someone so precious to them because of a human I created, and especially if they could’ve been held accountable for an early lesser extreme crime.
@@BMarie774 I disagree. But we also aren't in that position to truly know how we'd feel.🤷♀️
@@BMarie774easy for you to say when your not in the situation
My brother (aged 23yrs) was killed walking home from a party nearly 30 years ago (he was hit by a freight train). All the way through his funeral I laughed like a mad man. I laughed that much that my Nana tapped me on the shoulder and told me "you need to stop laughing .. you're upsetting everyone". Laughing is some people's coping mechanism.
Yes, it's common to laugh as a grief response. Laughter has a similar physiology as crying.
It's like hysteria.
Sometimes, we cry when things are funny, and sometimes we laugh when things are sad.
I reflect on my beloved grandma's funeral and what I see if an uncanny valley stepford wife version of myself smiling and greeting everyone and providing tissues for other people and fussing over little things like the flowers or rearranging picture collages of her. When it came time for people to speak, I couldnt do it. I hadnt processed any of it at that point and was dissociated. I remember looking to my left and my little sister was crying and I thought "I should comfort her. I should be crying too. Why cant I cry right now? Why cant I comfort my little sister like a damn human being right now." But it was like i was watching from a window in the back of my mind and had no control of my body. I have nightmares about my grandma all the time that she is lonely and sad and mad at me and that I've abandoned her. She was the strongest woman in my life. She was the female role model I adored and strived to be like and loved dearly. And in my heart of hearts I know that she knows my heart. But man the freaking GUILT and shame and such complicated feelings around grief ALREADY... but ESP if you have an "odd" or dissociative response or even what some may deem as "inappropriate "... idk it just makes it that much more difficult to process and understand. I'm sorry I've rambled. I've had a bit to drink on an especially emotional night and your comment tugged at my heart and sent my mind back in time a bit. Hoping you are well and sending love.
@@codirennke1109I see so much of myself in your reaction. My mum died when I was 21 years old, I smiled and shook so many peoples hands at the funeral and watched them cry while I was numb. 20 years later I realize that I was dissociated to be able to cope. Hugs to you!
Sorry, you could leave the room, if you can't control yourself.
This poor guy should not feel bad AT ALL about the numbness and disassociation he's experiencing. There's no "correct response" in a case where your family members almost murder other family members.
It sounds like he’s still in shock ❤
It’s an internal coping mechanism.
Especially the ones you raised! I was shocked at his contempt talking about all of this.
@@DontrollingBe lucky it’s not you and stop talking sht; we are snared by the words of our mouth and what we say can happen to us tenfold. You have NO clue what it’s like or what you’d do. How dare you judge this father? Edit: spelling
@Donielle360 you're shocked he feels contempt for the people who nearly killed his son?
A son who risked his own life to protect his mom. The universe wouldn't let him die.
He's a part of the universe, it's God who wouldn't let him die
The “universe”? 😂🤣 You mean the same universe that has inflicted every mass disaster? The same one that murders babies still in the womb? Let me guess you think guns kill people too?
@@sarahalderman3126 I actually don't think that LOL
Yes. The universe would let him die and God would have too. He’s blessed, but death does not discern the innocent or the chivalrous from other people.
This little boy is a hero.
This is an unimaginable event. No one should be passing any judgment upon this man on how he should handle this. Just pray for him.
People are so weird. They spend their time on social media saying the most socially unacceptable things. What a way to spend a life.
Oh yes we can, laughing about it is big red flag 🚩
@@RunningGrass-we7tm No, actually it's not. Laughing is a normal reaction to trauma and sorrow, just like crying is. Please read up on this.
@@RunningGrass-we7tm it doesn’t sound like you’ve been educated or informed on trauma responses… I’m a nurse so yes I have . Laughing is more common than you think when someone is nervous or extremely uncomfortable
Can we pass judgment because he’s part of horrific cult that encourage his child abuse? Can we pass judgment because instead of going to the police he went to his church? I found the news articles about this case. The family was part of a cult called Grace Valley Christian Center, just google them and you’ll see horrific stories from survivors who escaped. After the teenagers beat their mom, they are the ones who called 911 themselves and force their mom to talk to the 911 operator, they were trying to get arrested and go to prison because they believed it was their only way to escape from that house. That is such a huge 🚩 that the ONLY person who actually called the cops in this situation was the perpetrator, the father called the church first and was trying to only deal with ATTEMPTED MURDER within the church. Though after reading the article, I have my doubts as to whether the kids really wanted to kill their mom or if they were just trying to beat her bad enough that they would get arrested and removed from the house. Reading the news report on it and learning the background of the cult sheds different light on this call.
Started crying when he said his wife was repeating his name and number over and over again while his child was in another hospital both in emergency states 😢 I can’t even imagine.
And when his son said, “Dad”
Me i cried when i heard tha too @jeanab0919
Dad's in "Survival" mode. Holding it together for his other kids. But he's almost at the crash point. You can hear it in his voice.
I hope Counselling was provided for all of them, because the impact is going to be devastating.
I hope the family can find a way to navigate through this, and there's no blame to the parents if they cut contact with the 15 & 13 yo's.
This is a horrific situation and I wish them the best....and keep fighting 8yo!
I agree, I don't think I could ever have the same relationship and unconditional love for them again. This is the most traumatic story I have heard about family violence from a child/ children. Something went wrong, drugs, mental illness or pure evil?
It would be very detrimental to mom and to the 10 year old who survived such a brutal attack. The 10 year old should never have to see those brothers again. Praying for this very traumatized family. This is a horrible situation for parents to confront. God, please in your tender mercy protect, guide and heal the brokenness of this family.
his 16 yo son is not depressed, he’s a sociopath 😣 what a tragedy
Agree. This isn’t a generational thing. This is flat out mental Illness. Things like this have been happening since the beginning of time.
There had to be something to trigger this behavior from a 16 year old. Doesn’t make it right, but some outside influence or something had to nudge this behavior.
Try psychopath.
@@firefly9838 Not necessarily. I have sociopathic tendencies and I had a few times I almost hurt my family. Literally nothing except mental illness triggered it.
Look up their church and you’ll see why the boys had resentment
People have no listening skills! He did not say his son did this due to depression, he said when he saw him last he saw a depressed person.
But he’s a sociopath. He’s only depressed because he got caught.
@@semperfiyorkies6084 well exactly… he isn’t blaming depression for what his son did. That’s the only point I’m making. People are commenting that depression is no excuse or that that they have been depressed and they would never do that. So your point and mine are the same.
@@fundamoniumI agree. The father should realize that though. They did a perfect dominant/submissive partnership in their attack. I don’t know if the younger brother is a sociopath but he should definitely be held accountable. I personally could never allow them into my life again. And if the man wants to keep his relationship with his wife he’s going to have to do that as well. I get he’s their father, but he’s also the father to the other 3.
Dad you need to listen to everything John just said to you. He hit the nail on the head.
What was so profound “Grief needs a witness”!
That hit me really hard. It's so true!
The son who tried to save his Mom had God watching over him.
God should have told him to duck
@@jypsyjewels2854 Right why didn't God just prevent this whole thing?
@@juice2620God isn’t there to solve peoples problems, this is like when a parent solves his kids issues, they will grow up spoiled like brats and won’t mature in adult stage. God can’t be around solving the problems you get yourself into. Learn the lesson and grow up. NEXT LESSON!!
@@heather4089 You missed my point. There is no god. That's the only reasonable explanation.
God is exist people never understand this God gives us our freedom and brain is exist two ways good and bad and ur choose and God tells us the result of it and tells what rights for us and others called human rights and when we needs God to fix our problems for us just pary to God he will do it for us!
Having grown up in a similar situation, with an older brother that was EXTREMELY violent. Not your normal childhood fights, this was myself and other family members ending up I emergency rooms with SERIOUS injuries.
The Police and Justice system did nothing except blame my parents. All we could do is try to protect each other until we were all old enough to move and hide. My parents did everything legally possible to keep us safe.
Later in life my father told me he considering killing this brother and turning himself in immediately so that the rest of the family could live in peace. I'm sure glad that never happened because as an adult I have had a chance to spend real time with my family and especially my father. We all have children now and its nice that everyone gets to know each other in a loving, happy and functioning way.
The one brother ended up in prison for a sentence nearly 30 years, and I can say that this is the best time of my family's life. Everyone has prospered mental and financially and it's amazing how one bad apple can ruin the bunch.
I was more fortunate, we were able to get my step-brother out when he was 14 vs keeping him there due to a counselor that told my step-Dad to just let him go and live with his mother (who was so unstable, he got custody of 3 kids in the '70s). All our lives were so much better after that. Glad you have good relationships now.
Thank you for sharing. May God bless you and your family. My family is similar.
I hope no one else was hurt in order for him to get that 30 year sentence. Thankful there's peace for you now.
That’s a horrible situation to grow up in. A friend’s daughter who’s a teen regularly violently attacks her family.She’s strangled her hamsters to death and killed several cats.Her mum is very supportive and has her in counselling etc. homeschools, took her to horse therapy but she attacked the horses. Mums convinced she must have autism or something but no dr can find anything wrong her. Her Mum thinks that she’s just masking in therapy as she acts normal there.I’m no expert but this kid is fully in control of her behaviour when she wants to be ,ie in a crowded clothes shop when she’s being treated to what she wants. It wouldn’t surprise me if she went onto do something else
@@Purplelemon5033that's not just autism. It sounds like she may have the Dark Tetrad personality: Sadism, psychopathy, narcissism, machiavellianism. Autism symptoms do not include killing animals.
I hope the 10 year old and the wife heal completely.
I thought it was the callers mom
Duh
In Jesus' name, Amen.
That’s not really possible. What they need to do is move forward! Keep on going on. But with counseling.
❤
How can that poor kid (the little brother) ever trust anyone again???
Therapy, therapy, therapy.
The 16yo isn't depressed. He's dissociated. Unless the mom is abusive, he needs SERIOUS mental health evaluations and so does the 13yo.
The mom was definitely abusive. Both parents were. I found a news article about this case. The family was part of a cult called Grace Valley Christian Center that has a track record of encouraging horrific child abuse. If you just google them you’ll see stories of survivors who escaped the cult and talk about how horrible it is. The teens who attacked the mom beat her badly enough to injure her and then called 911 to report what they just did, then they gave the phone to their mom so she could describe her injuries, and she could get the right medical attention. It sounds less like attempted murder, and more like they were so desperate to get out of that house that the only thing they could come up with was committing a crime bad enough to get arrested, they thought prison would be better than staying there.
@@bebop2523 interesting. Ill have to look further into it
@bebop2523 Where is the evidence for this? All I can find are a couple of random websites (stating the exact same story) and Yelp reviews.
And also why did the brothers almost kill their 10 year old little brother if all they wanted to do was leave? That doesn't make sense.
@@bebop2523what an insane thing to say. You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.
@@roxillatastic it’s “insane” that I read multiple news sources about this case that all say the same thing, that they were part of Grace Valley Christian Center? It’s “insane” that there are numerous former members who say Grace Valley Christian Center is a cult that encourages horrific abuse? If ALL of these sources are wrong then please enlighten me!
Don't bring them home. Ever.
They were willing to kill to get out of there. They were willing to go to prison to escape what was going on in that house. Use your heads people.
It would be nice if the world were black and white. Cause/effect. I could see your theory if they hadn’t involved the youngest brother.
That they did leads me to wonder if this is psychosis of one (maybe the older) influencing the younger.
@@TurdOfParadiseyou haven’t a clue
@@raynaemurray Or the religious cult the parents forced the children into....?
@@kathycarpenter1561 exactly
This poor man not only almost lost his wife and son, he has now lost his 2 sons to prison. And he has to now deal with the aftermath of all of this. Wow. Be grateful for each moment. You're life can change in an instant. Sending prayers for this family.
Would you rather have those two sons still live with him then?
You are correct, there will never be trust or confidence in their home again. So much lost in one deranged day. I join in your prayers for this father and family.
No, he lost 2 of his boys to their own actions. Going to prison is a consequence of those said actions.
Prison? What a joke. They’ll be out to do it again in six months with nothing on their record because they’re minors. The only change is they’ll have a team of liberal lawyers explaining how it’s the victims’ fault and they’ll have court-appointed psychobabble seasons weekly to make them worse!
Look up the news articles about this case. This man was part of a cult that encouraged horrific child abuse. When he found out about the attack, instead of calling 911 he called the cult leader, that was his response to ATTEMPTED MURDER, to try to brush it under the rug and have the cult deal with it internally, rather than involve the cops. The only person who called 911 in this whole situation was the 16-year-old perpetrator. He called and had them speak to his mom to get her medical treatment after he had beat her. From reading the article, it sounds like they were just trying to beat their mother and brother badly enough that they would be removed from the home, they were so desperate to get out of the cult that they thought prison was a better option. How horrible for the innocent 10-year-old boy.
I know people who start laughing when the tears start falling. It’s just a coping mechanism. It’s uncontrollable
My daughter's coma score was 0-3 with her TBI.
She was in a coma for 14 days not expected to live. She was sixteen. Now she is 28 years old and is married and is working as a care giver to seniors.
She now has a paralyzed hand and walks with palsy. She was a passenger in a car that rolled. She got thrown out and hit a tree and a tree branch impaled her. She can't have children due to the risk of blood clots again.
I told you this for encouragement because your son is young he has a better chance to recover a lot back ❤❤❤
I am sorry about what happened to your daughter. I am thankful shes been given a second chance to live.
Wow, I'm so sorry for what has happened to your family, glad she recovered ❤. I work on a neurosurgical/major trauma ward and sadly most of our patients with such a GCS score don't make it out. Your daughter truly is a survivor, lots of love to you ❤
did she wear a seatbelt?
@im_twinzy6033 No she was sitting on her boyfriend's lap. It was a five passenger SUV with only 5 seat belts. She blungers herself for this enough.
It was more sinister than that.
The girls that were driving duck taped her roll bar so she had nothing to hang on to when they purposely wanted to see her fly around the back seat. It was a prank on my daughter that went horribly wrong.
@@blaszizzzthank you for your kind comment.
I'm so thankful everyday that I still have her.
She is defendantly a Survivor
I worked with kids who were sociopaths. It's scary.
We were foster parents to a child sociopath. Diagnosed. I still have PTSD from it.
@@theynot4u Wow. That sounds terrifying. Sociopaths are scary people and I never want to have to be trapped in a room with one. They're the closest to natural evil you can get.
@theynot4u as you know it partially comes frim extreme neglect when they were very little.
@bilbobaggins4403 I appreciate you acknowledging partially. I'm not a mental health expert, but I've done some research. We had almost 30 foster children, and we could see a genetic predisposition in some kids based on our experience with parents. Also, while some parents were just awful, the kids were great. There seems to be a myriad of factors that can influence mental health.
@@bilbobaggins4403 not in my case. My son was angry and as soon as he could walk, he grabbed sticks to hit me as soon as I turned my back. I worked at
nights to take care of him during the day. He was so loved by my mom and me.
It's hard for me to feel sorry for the 16 year old after he almost killed his 10 year old brother
He is depressed because he is going to jail not because he has a chemical imbalance in the brain
If you look closer at the “church” they attend then the story changes big time
@@nachosmac5812 I read into their church, no it does not
@@arga400 ah, so you saw all the yelp reviews and other articles about how members have to sign a lifelong covenant starting at age 10?
And you saw how the members are encouraged to marry each other and nobody from any other “church”??
And also how any financial decisions have to first be run through the pastor?
@@nachosmac5812 this has nothing to do with being a psychopathic. Anyone can walk away from any religion at any time.
@@COINsimp2024 a kid doesn’t know that. Or perhaps a kid isn’t ALLOWED to.. maybe by a certain *mother* - and home schooled.. maybe they were *forced* into a certain lifestyle 🤔
As a young adult, my parents were housing a niece who was having behavioral problems. I was staying there at night a few days a week due to a summer job. My mother discovered my cousins journal that she kept. It was very detailed in plans to kill my parents in their sleep, steal the car and credit cards and escape. One note was evident, " plans on hold until my cousin moves back to his house". Pretty obvious she knew should could not take down three of us, even if asleep. I was working a 11 pm to 10 am shift. My schedule alternated from days, to nights. So she did not know my schedule. Mom shipped her off back to her parents.
Bloody hell .. that's VERY scary 😮
Awful ..
What was her motivation? Car and money?
Are her parents still alive?! 😳
@@dania688
Nah... Would that be enough "motivation" for anyone to do that? It takes crazy. Even if you're a sociopath who doesn't care who they kill wouldn't do that because they know they would get caught right away.
@Ben-zr4ho while I agree that most people wouldn't, not everyone who kills has rational thoughts. People have been murdered for less.
I had to ask my 18 year old daughter to leave when I found text messages about how she wanted us (mom, dad and sister) dead. She had previously (age 15) been hospitalized for threatening to kill her sister. She had been seeing a psychologist and was on some medication that helped. As soon as she turned 18 she stopped seing the dr and stopped taking her medication. Then all hell broke out! It's been almost 3 years now. Some people tell me I'm awful and others understand. I wasn't going to be on the news and wondering why I didn't do something when I saw the signs.
Right
Do you know where she's at now? You had every right to make her leave
Those meds are awful. Good for you.
Feel free to drop the clueless individuals telling you you are horrible. You don’t need that.
@@sassysandie2865 sometimes a few bad side effects are worth it if the result of not taking it is being homicidal... 😐
"Grief demands a witness" that is such a statement.... extremely powerful and relatable.
Let the man talk…as much as he wants and pray for him ❤
I know that is feeling. I'm grieving a personal situation I can't discuss with my own family.
We need an update on this family. I hope they're healing well.
yes!
We don't like in a fairy tail, that family is f'ed
@@MarksTournamentsUnfortunately, you used incorrect words in your sentence. The sentence doesn't make sense. If you were educated in USA.... We are all F'ed.
@@MarksTournamentsof course you are right but hope springs eternal, we all just wish the best for them
I very specifically cannot cite my sources, but they are actually doing fairly well. (As well as anyone who went through that can.)
His wife will never feel safe in her home. Even if she doesn't press charges, the state will. She will never trust being alone with her sons.
And she has plenty of reason not to! Honestly, they should be locked away and throw out the key! These kids are old enough to know exactly what they were doing!!!
I had to watch my mom get abused almost everyday as a young boy. I felt like a failure because I was too weak to protect her. I can't even imagine wanting to hurt her. I can't understand this evil
❤❤❤
Lifting you in prayer brother
Praying for you. You were just a child and God knows that.❤
@@constancemccoy6931 I've been trying really hard to get better. My anger has caused me to go to jail and it has caused me to be involuntarily committed. She's still with him after all of these years. I told her I would pay for her apartment and I offered my mom to move in with me, but she still stays with him. I don't understand it.
The bastard hasn't touched her in a long time because he knows that she has to give me a phone call and I am right there, ready. I want my momma to be safe, but she says she loves him. I don't get it. If a man beats on a woman that he says he loves, then he is scum in my eyes. She's practically a maid for him. And he still talks down to her.
I was there for Easter, to celebrate. She cooked a huge amount of food for Easter dinner. After the dinner, he screamed at her to clean up the kitchen. I stood up and I yelled, "What if she doesn't wtf are you gonna do???!!!" I was ready for another fight. But then she pulled me to the garage and told me I shouldn't disrespect him. It makes me so mad. I'd never treat my wife or girlfriend or anyone like how my step-dad treats her.
I'm so confused. I just want everyone to be safe and happy. All I'm good for is my muscle. If I can't use my strength to protect my momma, then what good am I as a man?
Oh sweet human, I am so sorry you had to hold all that pain and trauma everyday. You sound as if you chose a better path despite the horrid examples you were shown daily!
My cousin tried to kill my grandma. Came into her room at night, held her mouth open, and proceeded to pour bleach down her throat. Then tried to strangle her. Thankfully they weren’t home alone. She lived, but they let him live there still. I’ve never gone back.
Jesus Christ.
😮😢
No one pressed charges???
😲
Dear Lord
My son tried to kill me after many years of abusing me as he is bipolar. It was my 2 year old that saved him and woke him from that slicing and cutting me trance. At the time my mom was alive and my sister wanted me to take him back. I guess my life is worthless to them because they beat me up themselves when I was young. This was an easy NO. I finally could live without looking over my shoulder but it breaks my heart because it was my son and not a stranger. He will be back in October from prison but not here and i live in constant fear still of what is to come. No more contact with him for the sake of my kids and I. I feel for this family and mom because I completely know what you are going through.
at least this father made the right decision to call in and get support from the dr. I have to handle it all myself and now am broken.
does he know where you currently live?
Maybe you could take the kids and move get a different name so u can live free. Not looking over your shoulder or being surprised with a attack.
I have bipolar disorder and have only hurt myself. Theres something beneath the surface you don’t know about and your son has to figure that out. Once we grow up it’s up to us to address our issues. Please move away and protect yourself.
Thank you so much for your honesty. ❤
When I went to the hospital after my daughter was in a car accident, I went completely numb. I can understand why this caller is talking the way he is. I was in shock for two months afterwards. Something like this changes you forever. Hearts out to his family.
I lost my voice after hearing shocking news about my Son. Could only whisper
People grieve differently
He sounds like he’s still in shock. What a tragedy. So glad his wife and young son survived! 👏 Peace and healing to his family!
I'm bawling.. Thank goodness for daddy daughter days. That little girl could have been there and being so little, she may not have survived. My heart is broken for this dad and mom.
Me too. My heart aches thinking about this whole family and everybody who suffers from mental illness. I wish I could just wrap my arms around people who are suffering and somehow make it better.. this is just heartbreaking 😭
Was there an update?? Man… this was hard to listen to. He went through so much and I felt so overwhelmed on his behalf. But I want to know how they’re doing 2 years later.
I haven't been able to find much in terms of an update. The family's last name is Van Der Veen from Elverta, California. The 10 year old is Benji, but I wasn't able to find anything about the sons who committed this crime (probably because of their ages). You can find a few things on Google using this info, but not much.
@@Username_993 thank you so much!!
I found the parents Aaron and Brianna on FB there isn't much but grandma Judy has updated pics of her grand kids and Benji and the mom look great all things considered
@@SA-vm4rz thank you for this update!
California inmate search shows Joshua’s admission date as Sept 13, 2023. But that’s all the info besides his inmate number.
I started to cry uncontrollably when the dad said his son is able to walk and talk after a level 1 brain injury. The moms prayers for more time during the incident were heard loud and clear ❤
Me too 😭
Yes God heard her. God is good
I guess the 10k kids that die of starvation every day, in complete agony, must not say the "right" prayers, huh?
It's God's sovereignty. Not about saying or word of faithing. @@Beaglesfly
AMEN 🙏🏻 the LORD GOD heard her cry out for help.
Such a heartbreaking story. I'm not even a father, but the "Hey Dad" had me in tears and smiling ear to ear. Hope the best for this family!
I'm at work just listening and almost started crying there. Holy wow.
The second he said “hey dad” I started to cry.
Me too I got happy chills and laughed with joy
Exactly this man.
❤
Dr. John: we need a "where are they now" for this family and a few others!
I hope they are getting therapy for the little girl. No one is going to get out of this without big scars.
Boy
Also the girl @@mromero911
@@mromero911 There is also a little girl. She was at work with the Dad at the time. I'm assuming the commenter meant it's a given the son who was attacked is being looked after, but that the other child will have trauma even though she wasn't there.
Did they do a drug test? What kind of drugs these two children were taking? I pray all the members of this family get all the help they need. They all will need it now, and in the future. The nervous laughter of the dad, he his hanging on by a thread. I pray for them. 🌹🌹
The family is in a cult. I found the original article about this case. A cult called Grace Valley Christian Center. Survivors who escaped the cult have talked about the horrific child abuse. They all need therapies specifically meant deprogram cult members. I’m sure the abusive cult had a lot to do with the reasons why the kids attack their mom
My heart feels deeply for this poor man.. What a strange and difficult situation to have to digest and live through.
If it was truly premeditated, what that 16 year old is experiencing is not depression, at least related to his actions. He is full of regret because his life will be forever marred and he’s just realizing that; he doesn’t regret trying to kill that woman. Absolutely tragic. I pray for those people, every single one of them.
You’re such a good doctor thanks for informing everyone
the fact that he didn't follow through and called 911 suggests some level of regret.
Exactly
He has no remorse, shame, or guilt. The son is a psychopath. He is only sorry he got caught, he isn’t sorry at all for what he did. He isn’t a sociopath, but a psychopath. There are clear differences between the two of them. Psychopaths plan things out, sociopaths are impulsive.
@@sds6303 only he didn’t get “caught” he confessed and sought out help. No this is 100% the fault of primarily the parents fault, in particular the father.
I remember the day before the first day of school, My oldest brother was drunk or on drugs but he had a knife and said he wanted to kill us. My mom and my three older brothers ran to our bedroom and locked ourselves in there until police arrived. I remember I was only 9 years old being soo scared. I remember praying to God that he would make him stop. I can't imagine how afraid they were.
Omg what happened to your brother , where is he now? I'm so sorry you went thru that
This is a catastrophic tragedy. That poor family, ESPECIALLY the poor younger son who knew it was right to help but got hit 🥺 that poor baby. I pray that he is restored completely. The brain is an amazing thing, especially at such a young age, you never know how well they will heal.
Hope they do heal.. but whole family needs to leave Grace Valley Community Center. So many people have been scarred by the demands of the pastor and any child who grows up in it will no doubt have issues
@@nachosmac5812 wow really?
@@rachelgooden9981 yes 100%…. Look into it
@@nachosmac5812 what state are they in? What's the gist of their scandal?
@@nachosmac5812 true though
My Baptist preacher cousin’s adopted 17 year old daughter(they adopted her at 2 wks old) stabbed him and his wife over 20 times each trying to kill them. They were in ICU for weeks and almost died but they refused to press charges. Nothing happened to her, they didn’t even put her in a mental hospital. Now 12 years later she’s an EMT and hasn’t been in trouble since and her parents act like nothing ever happened. It’s a little crazy.
I don't understand why it was up to the victims of an attempted murder to press charges. Surely that should be the job of the police and the courts, regardless of the parents'/victims' wishes.
That doesn't sound true at all. It's not up to you to press charges lol. If you try to kill one it is the state vs you, not victim vs you. Ain't nobody going free for attempted murder just because the victim didn't want to press charges. Bunch of liars up in these comments.
@@WoolandFlax It isn't about whether or not the victim can press charges. It's how cooperative they are with the office and police. Even if the DA subpoenas them to testify they can give minimal answers, say I don't recall, tell the truth but frame it in a way that looks better for the defense. A DA is most likely not going to pursue charges when the victim(s) is completely unwilling to help them.
It depends on what city and state these assaults and murders take place because law enforcement and courts have different laws and procedures. I think people like Gypsy Rose got away with it because of being in Missouri. The Menendez Bros and Scott Peterson in California don’t get away with murder. This would never happen in California nor Texas because of the dedication of law enforcement/police and the court systems. The only way is if it goes to supreme court, then it’s federal.
You think?!
I have worked with incarcerated, kids and teens most of my career. It is very very very unusual for a happy, healthy, well addressed kid/kids to just snap. I hope for all involved that a thorough environmental and situational investigation is conducted and both boys need a thorough mental and physical health work up as well, normally when this sort of situation occurs, there is either an untold story or a latent health issue. That is the impetus for such a radical change in behavior. Often there are signs of individual or family trouble that go unnoticed or misinterpreted. My heart aches for everyone involved.
As a social worker my feelers were out here too. Obviously there's no excuse for what they did. But I want to know why those kids wanted to kill their mom and run away. Was she abusive? Were these two kids targeted? Happy healthy kids who love their parents don't usually just snap.
I would SERIOUSLY question the son's friends. My alarm bells ring drug abuse...
But what is causing this?
Just what I think. Is this a blended family.? He dont say that his wife was the mother of the 13 and 16 years old boys.
Google cultish homeschooling--it is definitely real. There have been allegations of physical and child sexual abuse leveled against the strict "cult" of Grace Valley Christian Center (GVCC) in Davis just west of Sacramento--which some online articles indicate this family was a member of. I can't seem to find any mention of the subsequent trial or its outcome.
Aaron - if you read these comments please know strangers are praying for you, your wife and all of your kids. It’s going to be tough, but you can rebuild a life for your family- John D is right, it won’t be the same, but with the Lord’s help you all can do it. You’re in my prayers
Amen
Amen!!
Amen
AMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN
Absolutely
Wow I started crying when he said the wife and child are being discharged!!! Unbelievable.
@@suzannecefalu6694 what are you on about? I was crying because I was relieved they were discharged from the hospital. Get a grip
Breaks my heart. Praying they will ALL be healed physically and mentally
I'm sorry, but there's no coming back from this level of desensitization to violence. People who do this kind of harm at this age, where you are old enough to work/consent, they do this again. Sorry, but he needs to be in a cage forever. He chose to do this for 45 minutes in a row. It is what it is.
Yes statistics agree with you
Amen
@Femto that's objectively false, this type of behavior can be genetic (apx 2% of ppl are born psychopaths) and to have two sons do it can show a genetic component. It can also be external influences. Many times kids get idea from hanging out with the wrong ppl. really it's 50/50, also look into the church which also may be an issue (their particular church not all churches)
@Femto prove he created this RIGHT NOW or don’t ever say something as stupid as that again.
@overlordfemto7523 eventually people need to be held accountable for their own actions. this is clearly not a matter of poor parenting and I think having your kids trying to kill you/your spouse/their siblings is punishment enough.
I don't think this guy should be calling a radio show. He needs a private counselor and a good attorney.
He already has. Probably just wants an opinion from someone he respects.
If he had an attorney, they would have told him 5alk to no person about this.
I think that you're judgmental and should cram it.
@@arfriedman4577would a 16 year old get a jury trial? That would be the main reason to not talk about it. It was already in the press anyways.
@@rebelks88 why are you asking about a jury trial? I believe young people have had jury trials.
I only went by this podcast. I didn't look to see if it was in the news.
One thing to watch out for with the youngest son, he mentioned the doctors noted that he was eating a lot, which could be a sign of brain damage. If you have lesions in the satiety center of your brain, specifically the ventromedial hypothalamic nucleus (VMN), which is the part of your brain that responds to leptin (the hormone that regulates "fullness"), he might start developing an obesity problem. Something to look out for.
I did not know this!! Good for future reference!
I would personally be more worried about more subtle cognitive issues that could affect his ability to study or work.
Jay, You sound like a doctor.
Good Information. Thank you for sharing!
True. Hopefully, neurology & psych will follow-up and monitor.
This is terrible. Those kids are not depressed. Just Evil
You don't know what's actually going on. So stop assuming. They aren't being defended but it is very possible that they had some kind of manic episode or something considering they calmed down after talking to their mom after 45 minutes
The family may have been part of the GVCC cult, and the murder attempt happened as a result of mistreatment.
@@tintinismybelgian That church definitely looks suspicious.
You’re so right !!!!!!! We forget evil in this modern left society 😢😢😢😢😢😢
My sister, who has been caretaker for her sick husband for decades, said she keeps her sanity by doing something good for her every day. Takes long walks, eats healthy, etc.
Mental health is never seen outwards at times. Most of the time is underlying.
Please don’t forget to talk with your kids, family and friends.
She’s a caregiver he’s is a caretaker she gives he takes
@@Jane5720 actually it goes both way’s. They both give in different ways and both take in different way’s.
Your sister is amazing to be caring as long as she has God Bless this family 👪 sounds like she's doing well and keep finding her own outlets to feel peace....she is a special caring person!
@@Jane5720u sound weird. Nothing wrong with taking care of a beloved person. U probably don’t have that.
Absolutely wild. At 16 you know what you're doing. I feel for the guy, younger son and mom.
Very true :/
Unless he had a psychotic break.
@@PrairieDawnC In which case that'd have to be proven, which can be hard depending on the condition.
@@PrairieDawnC Two sons having a psychotic break? No.....
Some teenagers are all emotions and the thinking brain is not firing at all sadly, those are the teenagers that drop out and get into trouble and dangerous situations.
An attack that lasted that long…. Brutal. Not safe to be in society.
Its not!! Very dangerous world we live in
Am guessing they have mental illness it a family. Thing
Dr John he’s wearing toooo many hats that’s hell. My heart breaks for this man husband dad truck driver
How awful. I feel so horrible for this man. Thank goodness his daughter was with him that day💕
Yes I feel bad for everyone except the father. He is the cause of it all!
@@sarahalderman3126 How?
@@metaphordreams378 as the father and pastor this man created and maintained a home so sick that his own son’s plotted MURDER against their own mother. He was clearly not paying ANY attention to his boy’s or his wife. That kind of anger and resentment can be felt by everyone, if they’re paying attention. However the main reason is that the only plausible reason these boy’s could have done this, to have this anger or resentment towards their mother the father must have been feeding them lies soaked in blame. The father was obviously blaming everything on his wife, just as he glossed over in his call here. Nope sorry by the father is responsible for the discipline and general mood for the home. Clearly he failed in that role and thus put the mother in a position she wasn’t capable of full filing.
@@sarahalderman3126 you really shouldn’t make assumptions about that man if you don’t know anything. Who are you to say that this is the fathers fault. You should be ashamed of yourself.
@@rentfree2377 its called listening hun.
I dated a man with a brain injury and all I can say is I would never wish it upon anybody, literally at times witnessing someone who's just a shell of themselves. Then random Outburst about things that don't make sense and things that are perseverated on and having the same fight over and over like a broken Loop, not to mention the memory loss and the personality changes. My ex said he literally had to write down the good memories and repeat them and focus on them for weeks to commit them to Memory . He broke my heart when he told me in an outburst he threw the notebook with our memories away . Seriously pray for this kid and their family.
That’s amazing. The Glasgow Coma Scale is actually 3-15, there are 3 categories (1-4 eye opening, 1-5 verbal response, 1-6 motor response), and anything below an 8 is a coma, 8-13 is minimally conscious, and 14-15 is normal enough).
I know this because I was also in a coma (GCS of a dead body=3), but mine was from falling off a cliff. The fact I could recover at all is definitely a blessing from God, and because of neuroplasticity! I fell when I was 18, so my brain was still fairly plastic, and I imagine your son’s age definitely helped him recover, too! There’s more neuroplasticity in younger patients, and I think we’re both so thankful for that!
God was watching out for him.
wow, glad to hear of your recovery!
@@lindakincaid4530 then why did he get injured in the first place?
@@jones2277 what? He was hit over the head with a baseball bat. What’s difficult to understand?
I really hope nueroplasticity will take a serious turn in studies. I believe there's great potential for healing.
My sister is a psychopath and it’s been a horrendous journey my whole life. 60 years of hell.😢
My brother has been trying to destroy me for 60 years. I understand.
When he talked about his son it took me back to last year when my son was hit by a car. Pupils fixed and dilated. Coma scale score 1. Devastating I thought we were going to lose him. Beyond grateful that he not only survived but is back almost 100%.
Horrific situation for everyone involved. This is not a normal teen mad at mom situation. There are some deep underlying rage dynamics with this family’s relationships. I’m sure the father is going over and over what he could have done differently. I hope they all get professional help and guidance 💕
The father needs to be removed from everyones life. His younger son needs to be protected from his influence permanently along with his wife! The father clearly encouraged (intentionally or not) violence within the home, along with resentment and hatred.
Maybe it's a mental illness run in the family
They’re in what ex members termed an abusive cult and homeschool. We’ve seen this play out before, homeschool, cultish controlling church and sons trying to end their parents
One or both of the boys might be psychopathic, if not both of them one could have manipulated the other to take part in this plan.
There is no cause for psychopathy and there is no cure.
@@DC-bp8sx is this a fact - they said CA 2 yrs ago - is there an update?
Depression doesnt cause you to commit murder. So many questions here....1) how were these children raised? Studies show neglected babies left alone grow up as criminals with no remorse for their actions. 2) My "wife" is she the bio mother of these kids? 3) Have these kids experienced abuse from someone? Extreme abuse while not being believed by a parent can cause you to go off the rails. SOOOOO MUCH MORE going on here. I pray for this family and hope one day they can heal from all of this.
I very specifically can't cite my sources, but 1. they were not neglected, 2. they are biological children, not adopted/foster/step, and 3. no
This also happened during Covid, so that could be a factor. I don’t think it’s talked about how much Covid has affected children/teens. Being isolated from your friends and life due to an outer force you can’t control, may have been a factor, but of course we don’t know.
Sociopaths are born and sometimes made, but this sociopath was born. Sometimes it's actually very simple.
@@HobadeeWerent they in an abusive cult?
im guessing there is some abuse from mom as well, i think its a step mom
That's not depression. His older son is a psychopath. The 'depression' was an act to manipulate Dad.
This is an act of psychopathy as far as I’m concerned. Shocking. That brave little boy. ❤ Those dangerous, murderous boys needs to be taken out of society . Depression? No . Psychopathy
Those kids need to be evaluated by professionals that are specialized in personality disorders. They're probably seeing regular therapists that are completely clueless. You're right, that is psychopathy, not depression. Those kids are a danger to everyone.
I ain’t even gonna blame anyone because obviously we really don’t know much other than what we are hearing something going on with that kid needs to be addressed professionally
Not 1 but 2 homocidal kids? I’d be asking questions
Correct @mmmfun77
@@saltycat662 Hi, I am a therapist and we are generally taught not to diagnose anyone with a personality disorder under the age of 18. Personality disorders are not hard to diagnose but take time to diagnose due to the fact that children are still developing well through adolescence; their "adult" personality is not usually in place until their mid-20s. We learn/grow/change through our lifespan but the "static" parts of our personality do not emerge until there is evidence of a pattern of behavior that persists after the early developmental stages end. Some therapists will diagnose before age 18 but it is not considered to be a good practice to do so. Harming someone is not indicative of a personality disorder with the exception of antisocial personality disorder (APD); the precursor diagnosis in childhood for this is conduct disorder (although not every child with conduct disorder goes on to develop APD in adulthood. Conduct disorder is not a personality disorder so a parent does not need to seek out a therapist who specializes in personality disorders. Hope this helps!
My daughter has a daughter that tried to hurt her brother and younger sister. She’s out of the house. They have written her off because she chooses not to change and they can’t take the chance. That’s sad to say about your own child but she’s a danger to everyone. They had put up security cameras with sound so she couldn’t say anything against them.
What an absolute tragedy. Prayers for this man and his family
Hearibg the story of his son’s recovery brought tears to my eyes man wow miracles do happen
I've been around this a couple of times in my life. When I lived in Wyoming, in a nearby town, Thermopolis, a young man snapped, killed everyone in his family except his dad. Now I live in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, and two young men did the same thing, they killed their parents, most of their siblings, left a sister and a baby behind. The older son was a leader, younger was a follower, just like Aaron's kids.
That is chilling. The enemy really wants to take out families.
it's actually more common than a lot of people realize. at that age, young males have a lot of testosterone rushing in their veins, a skewed sense of logic, rage, a desire to prove themselves, and lack of empathy. it's a fragile and dangerous period. this is why the military specifically seeks them out for combat.
@@jones2277 yes but something ELSE is happening in society for this to become more common…. Those developmental things have always been true and yet we haven’t had mass killings and family murder to this degree
@@mamat1213 the something else is that they're followers and copycats. they see one do it and the others will do it too. but think about this: gang violence, terrorist blocks, it's all the same thing. every culture has violent angry young men who are causing havoc. we're not unique in this regard. the only difference is we thought we were immune, but it's always been happening.
Wtf is happening in oklahoma!?!
The family will never be the same. I’m so sorry for your loss Aaron. You are doing you’re best. Hang in there.
What loss?
@@BboyRacingof his family.
This is so amazing! The way you talked to him, advised him, and let him know the emotional rollercoaster is ok without even knowing him. At first I wondered why he would call this show to talk about something like this but clearly he called the right person. Bravo to him and you Dr. Delony.
I just discovered this channel and I love it. The advice is always so solid
Updates would be awesome on some of these calls. I pray this family is healing the best way they possibly can with the aftermath of such a tragedy.
Dr. John, you ARE a gem! Thank you for sharing yourself with the world!
Can't help but wonder what role their church, Grace Valley Christian Center in Davis, CA played in fracturing this family. Former members, who call it a cult, report control, manipulation and abuse to the extent that members are required to submit weekly reports of everything that takes place in their daily lives. Files are kept on every member. A former member describes the church as life ruining, family ruining and traumatizing. ( Source: Davis Vanguard...a news reporting organization that covers the city of Davis, CA and Yolo County courts)
Exactly!! What was going on in that church and in that home??? So much more to this story!!
We can all speculate but I'm sure the defence lawyers will use this if there are issues.
Sounds a lot like Scientology!
You cannot create a psychopath-this 16 year old is pure evil-he may have talked the younger kid into this
Demons are involved with false religions maybe sir you should think about going to Calvary Bible Church
My family went through something very criminal well known and traumatic as well. Our friends were so horrible. We couldn't handle being around them. We have faced years of stuff with no support. It is so hard. Funny thing was that when there was a chance to go on media interviews they jumped on that. I am glad that people are there to support him. That would be a tough one. Praise G-d that his wife and son are getting better.
I cannot begin to imagine what Aaron and his family are going through right now. My heart goes out to him and in the end, I hope his family heals from all of this.
My heart breaks for this poor man. He is very nearly falling apart.
Second time I’ve had to come and leave a comment on the advice that you give John. You are so incredibly good at what you do and so wise. This is a gnarly situation, but everything you told this man is exactly what he needed to hear, and how he needs to go about the situation and you delivered it with compassion, directness, and clarity. You have an incredible gift.
Absolutely
If he has an attorney, they should have told him not to talk to anyone about this.
He can say whatever he wants. The state is prosecuting them not him.
@jasl9987 what he says can influence jurors
He had to talk to someone!
@@KAnderson2020 He could have asked for a private call.
@arfriedman4577 And why should he be bothered about influencing jurors? Should he be worried about them recommending too high or too low a sentence? Should he even know at this point?
I'm not sure it makes sense for him to be worrying about anything other than taking care of himself and the remaining members of his family. Then just do his due diligence and give the state whatever information he knows and let the chips fall where they may.
Delony's advice is excellent and better than anything I could have thought of. A lot of it is about how to deal with the details of financial and legal problems that are going to drag on for years to come. He tells him how to build a team of people to help. That and how to deal with grief. It's really great advice.
He's so good
Can you just feel the light in his voice when he speaks of his son’s recovery ❤
Wishing this father, husband and man all the strength. Incredible courage to face this insurmountable challenge ❤
There's an article in The Christian Post about this case. Apparently the church they were involved in is focused on "discipline" and has been accused by some former members of being a cult.
Very interesting read.
Interesting about that church being cult like .. if so maybe brainwashing was going on .. I’ve never heard of 2 children going on a rampage like this , def some mental break in these kids .
All religions and churches are cults
The media weren't in the home. This is speculation. Discipline isn't bad depending on what it is. Sociopaths exist.
What ended up happening?
Omg you’re right it’s really telling that when the boy messaged another boy from the church after the attack that boy dad called the church not 911
Regardless of their ages, if someone holds such indifference to human life (let alone their own family's lives), they need to be locked up for life.
The family they have and the society they live in has to be kept safe, and if locking them up for good and getting them serious therapy is what it takes then so be it.
Spot on !!!!!!! I’m a retired Psychologist at 79 yo F and Dr Milton Erickson was my mentor along with my husband Dr Adrian Williams. I’m Patricia and I am impressed with your entire structured rant of instructions. I am impressed because you are so correct. Thank you, John.
This is absolutely insane. The fact that it's his own blood makes it so much sadder. I'm glad the mom and son survived. I can't imagine what it's like going through that. Sending love to everybody!!!
My heart sank with every word spoken. Prayers for everyone involved . Just heartbreaking.
Curious, were these full blood relatives? The gentleman refers to attacking 'his wife' but not attacking 'their mother.' It's all a horrible tragedy. :(
I was wondering the same thing.
Yes. 5 kids. She was the stay at home mom and homeschooled I believe all of them with one being in college at the time of the attack. 16yo attacker was an award winning pianist. Family went to the controversial Grace Valley Christian Center for church.
@@KEL364 forgive my ignorance, but why is that church controversial?
Probably compartmentalizing. Sons shouldn’t kill their mothers and I think it’s hard for the brain to process
For real? The Grace Valley? I wonder if that’s a coincidence or not….it has a lot of sexual abuse allegations involving church members and covering the allegations. And some label it as a Christian cult.
You went in front of the 16 year old without wanting to strangle him. No. I wouldn’t speak to him. He’s done in my book.