"Cold & Unfriendly" - Are Lithuanians Really All Introverts?
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- Опубликовано: 2 ноя 2022
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Well noted on soviet times: this is a huge trauma left from that era for older generation, even my grandma was teaching me as a child - mind your own business, don't talk to strangers, don't speak up, don't stand out (meaning don't attract attention to yourself), as she was from the times when for no reason you could have been arrested by soviet authorities just walking on a street and giggling with friends. Younger generation is definitely more open, but with the inherited baggage it takes time to build trust and relationships. Also we are northern nation - our temperament matches that.
If you really think about it, the Soviets breed us like cattle for docility. Anyone who wasn't a grey mouse was removed from the gene poll (shot or imprisoned). When I was a kid, in my town we used to say "don't shout or they'll take you", now that I'm an adult it really make me wonder just how much generational trauma has been inflicted.
@@Fankas2000 your comment is spot on, but youtube hid if for some reason and I had to use the "newest" tab to see it. Unfortunate, but well said nonetheless
True that.
also the meaning of friend i think is considered exclusive to the people who can you trust 100%... that means you don't talk or tell everything to other people, that is reserved to friends only. And the soviet thing is true, it takes time and effort to develop a relationship, but when you do, you'll have some one on your side no matter what....
Im lithuainian and I TOTALY agree
My grandparents were from Lithuania. My Močiute was very introverted - quiet, reserved, quite shy, but also very sweet, demure, and caring. She loved to watch people and observe them silently, often with a smile. My Papa Gus, on the other hand, was very extroverted - always happy to chat with strangers, loved to laugh, crack jokes, etc. My mom (their daughter) was raised in London, and was much more in the middle - an “ambivert” so to speak. I myself am an Introvert. I very much enjoy space and being independent, but I also really value deep, meaningful connections. Fake smiles and small talk are like sandpaper on my psyche!
Hi Jedi..I like also Lithuania..
smalltalks not welcome for lithuanians :))
Small talk, no fake smiles best description for us Lithuanians, but once you become our friend you can be sure we will be there for you
I'm Irish too but consider myself a little more reserved than most, it's true that many people will stop and chat to each other in Ireland or at least say a quick "hello" as they pass in the street, even if they're complete strangers! This is particularly true in rural areas of Ireland where communities are closer knit. The Irish are social creatures, it's just part of the culture.
I actually love the more reserved attitude of most Lithuanians, it's refreshing to see a people who are straight to the point and don't waste time on small talk but remain polite and considerate of each other while doing so. There's also a great sense of community in Lithuania that I don't think people always appreciate, this really shines during national holidays and especially around Christmas time.
Finally, speaking the language is obviously a game-changer in most situations, many times I've broken the ice by simply attempting Lithuanian which is either met with astonishment or a giggle, but at the very least always seems greatly appreciated.
In short, we aren't the most introverted or most closed off people, but we simply dislike small, meaningless, fake talks. And yes, the elder generation still looks at any stranger suspiciously, which is the consequence of the soviet occupation.
Same here in Germany, really
All Lithuanians I met so far, have been talking a lot with me. If there isn't anything interesting to talk, we didn't talk. For me as a German it is easy, because we behave the same here.
@@katio.8230Nice thank you. Now I know I have to avoid Germans also 😂
Latvian 🇱🇻 here. Pretty much the same. All my family members are extreme introverts and I don't like useless conversations with strangers.
I think it's old habit that still passed along with generations. In soviet times you never knew who was snitching on you, or reporting on your even on simple small things. So you don't talk and you don't disclose anything by accident.
Best way to put it is - we are really straightforward when it comes to interacting with others - we will gladly help you, you just need to ask, we will talk to you, but only if either of us has got something meaningful to say. Generally we are a really friendly culture, it's just that we see no point in fake smiles, absurdly intricate politness and meaningless small talk. Our understanding of politeness is being honest and respectful to the other person, since humilitly, and respecting other's privacy are some of our core values
Yes, just need to ask. And when a person is dying in the street or an emergency has happened, nobody would come up and help. Lived in Lithuania, saw everything. You guys are just simple egoists who care only about yourself. It's a sign of politeness in all the world to smile back or at least stay positive when another person starts a friendly conversation and gives you a smile. A small talk helps at least to realise who your neighbors are. But of course everything you care about is your house, your village maybe and yourself. Very provincial, narrow-minded nation.
@@arnomar I biased, but I've had a few encounters with drunk people who got hurt or just someone who got injured on the streets and every time the random people passing by would at least stop by to ask if the injured person is ok. Of course, I should've made it more clear that I'm not talking about the entire population, believe it or not the mentality of people towards someone in need of help fluctuates from city to city. It's unfortunate that you saw what you say you did, but saying that 2.7 million people are "simple egoists" is just senseless - you could literally say the same about every living person on earth. I also didn't mean to imply that we never smile or act politely - we do. I was more so trying to describe a contrast between let's say how cheery and overly social an average spaniard is when talking to complete strangers in comparison to how cautious a lithuanian is. I'm just rounding up my experience, having lived both in the capital and in a small town. I'm sorry that your stay gave you the impression that the people here are awful, but I suspect that you either just like talking negative and are overamplifying what you actually saw, didn't live here long enough or you just lived in some sketchy part of town. Either way, thank you for you non-constructive and needlessly mean criticism :))
@cilindras2952 Thank you for your ability to accept criticism and denial of negative tendencies taking place in your society (basically another problem of the Lithuanians). I'm biased, too, because i arrived in Lithuania full of enthusiasm to share all my attention and support with everyone. In response, I got treatment like a piece of shit from the locals. I was blackmailed several times that people would stop communicating with me, or I would lose my job if I didn't do exactly what they wanted. Everyone is so proud to be a closed introvert person and tell other people in face directly what they think about them. But y'all get easily offended when someone else starts doing the same towards you. When I broke my arm when I fell, nobody came up for help. So, maybe drunk people deserved more attention, perhaps they weren't foreigners. So, I just rely on my personal experience of living in LT.
@@arnomar Your entire experience is somehow mostly the opposite of what I've seen growing up and what I've heard from other foreigners living in Lithuania. It's unfortunate that we're limited to youtube comments, because I would gladly discuss every single critique you have. In short, if you come to a country whose people lived through varying amounts of violence for the past 200+years, and are surprised when they are either cautious of your or some even take advantage of your overly friendly and generous attitude - you're näive.
@@cilindras2952 Sorry, I am from a country experiencing violence, torture and atrocities every 50-60 years, since maybe the first human stepped on it. Our Soviet occupation was followed by 2 artificial famines when millions of people died because access to any food was denied. Our identity was under a total ban for over 300 years. And it's not over until now. Yet our people are more open, warm-welcoming, and not inclined to pull the intrigue when someone asks them questions or wants to know them better.
I lived here for 5 years and I do see people here opening up. It also depends how you reach out to people. From my experience, their is desire to share if certain trust is there. I have experienced coffee shop baristas giving staff discount on second visit, guy sharing his personal family troubles on first meeting and government official letting me host event after first meeting.
Been living abroad in a few places for about 9 years now, so I suppose I have some of my own first-hand experience to share.
First of all, I pity the Irish fellow living in Lithuania. In my experience, when it comes to how people interact, the Irish are our polar opposites. They are VERY outgoing people, to the point where me, as a more extroverted Lithuanian, get's tired of all the talking and chit-chatting and I need to take a break quite often from social life while I live here in Ireland as it is just too much to handle at times. I found that many Lithuanians share that sentiment with me to a greater or lesser extent.
I think it is also fair to mention how northerners are generally more introverted. There are always jokes about Finns or Estonians being extremely introverted, although jokes aside, in my experience I find the Nordic and the Baltic folks quite similar on this one, save for Danes who are usually a bit more crazy.
Lastly, when I moved from Lithuania for the first time, I used to think that we are indeed quite unfriendly and maybe even excessively rude at times when we don't have to be. Afters years of meeting all sorts of different people and seeing how others are, I found that's not the case at all. What defines "polite" can vary greatly from country to country, region to region. For some politeness is smiles, small talks and other sort of small things like that. For Lithuanians politeness is respecting peoples personal space and not bothering them with talks and smiles unless you have a specific point to make.
All in all, we are our own people, with our own way of understanding manners. And just as Lithuanians do their best to be more open and warm while abroad, people who come to Lithuania will have to adapt to the lack of warm welcome and smiles. Once they get through the initial hurdles they will see that we are in fact as friendly & warm as it gets. ✌
thanks for sharing, this was interesting. though in what way danes are crazy? sounds intriguing
@Vaidas K I don't think we have to apologize to anyone, but maybe that's just me. 🤔
@@jura9484 As far as my experience goes, Danish people seem to be generally more friendly and outgoing compared to the rest of Northern Europeans and that outgoingness may lead to them appearing as more "crazy" in some cases. That makes them fun folks to hang out with. 😄
As an American of Lithuanian great grandparents I have met native Lithuanians who are very outgoing and friendly. Some of them I met were in my age group and we are very talkative about Lithuanian culture and Baltic culture.
I definitely believe its a generational thing, a relic of the soviet times. Just moved in an apartment and the old geezers are unfriendly, while young families want to chat. Of course not all older people, for instance, one of your points were that people from small villages might be more closed to interaction, but I find that it's the exact opposite. In the village you say hello to everyone and in the city you barely talk. Also a good portion of old folks have broken through that old mentality and some old babushkas might want to chat for hours, so be careful as they might trap you with kindness.
Lithuanian here 👋 Just to add some info. Since childhood we were told- You always greet people in the village, no matter if you know them or not. It's just like unspoken rule. In a city yes.. you mind your business. It is considered polite. Say hello in village and do your own thing in a city.
The "babushkas" is russian thing
One moment you say Laba diena to the baba and the next moment, you're eating cepelinai and 3 other meals coming.
@@antasosam8486 Babos, Bobutės, Bobūnės (depends on the dialect) is a Lithuanian thing :)
About restaurant culture: look, when youre at work eating lunch, its considered rude to disturb eating person with conversations unless you directly ask or know a person well. This exactly translates to culture in restaurants. You eat - you dont speak.
Introversion is the most accurate way to describe national lithuanian character
I would need to be in very deep shit to make me approach a stranger unbidden.
Conversely, I expect anyone approaching me is also in deep shit, so I wouldn't hesitate to help if asked.
If somebody started talking to me without a significant reason, I will consider it weird and/or suspicious.
I don't know how many Lithuanians think along these same lines, but I'm quite confident it's a significant portion.
I mean, the only time my neighbour ever knocked on my door was when his elderly mother was sick and needed help getting to the hospital.
Regarding the final bit about the "hello" to your neighbours, it's considered polite to greet people you meet in your stairwell, but a bit intrusive if you meet that same person on the open street. Keep in mind that the almost imperceptible nod of the head while making eye contact for a second also counts as "hello".
"How're you doing?" is not a greeting. It may follow a greeting as a way to express your appreciation and concern for someone's well-being. The expected answer is a half-assed "okay" or the more genuine "it's nothing".
There's no such an answer to the question How's your life? or How do you feel? or Is it allright? as it's nothing in English. The nieko in Lithuanian from a Lithuanian means it's ok, it's normal, no problem in English.
How do you do? is a greeting in English, and people don't expect any explanation about your life or feelings when they greet you like that.
I have been to Lithuania only once as a tourist. But I have to disagree, I found the locals so friendly, easy-going, and helpful. Even though it was totally unexpected, it made my stay much more pleasant, I even managed to make some friends and we are still in touch. As an expat from Latin America living for 11 years in Slovenia, I have exactly the same view about Slovenians, even though they built up a reputation of being friendly and welcoming, in most cases I find this very contradicting as in my opinion, most of them are extremely reserved, cold and even unfriendly.
I fell in love with Lithuania and I can't wait to go back and explore more of this beautiful country
"Introverted" is a wrong word obviously - because it is a trait of a person, not a cultural thing. Lithuanians are reserved.
It's pretty normal to say this, but I think there is a difference between Dutch and Lithuanians or Moroccans or Italians.. there are alot more extraverts in certain countries.
It’s always nice to see that other foreigners also have that struggles of the coldness of Lithuanians. The neighbors thingy was maybe the hardest hit, we were so used to at least say hi and greets each other in France and in our building people were just acting like it’s crazy to say hello, not replying and just give us a weird look. It does get better, I guess, once people around get used to having foreigners around them.
Also very true about Lithuanians that have live abroad. I had that girl at work who was so warm compared to other Lithuanians people and she lived in the UK which helped her a lot to open up (this is literally what she shared)
Yeah, living abroad will usually make people more open. Not least because the experience of being alone in a new country will push you to be more outgoing to make connections. Back in your own country, it's then easier to understand foreigners in the same situation.
Even among lithuanians, unless you are over the age of 60, it is rare to talk to your neighbours or even say hi to them when passing by. So don't beat yourself over it, even locals don't interact with their neighbours much
With neighbors it's so true. As a Lithuanian I very rarely greeted them cause I live in khrushchyovka and most neighbors are old, untrusting. It is definitely a cultural / soviet trauma thing. Only after coming back from Switzerland where I got used to greeting everyone, I started to greet my Lithuanian neighbors too. Doesn't matter if they said something or not I just kept doing that. After a couple of years almost everyone now says back hello:D
I can see how this is true while at the same time I was always taught to greet my neighbours. When I was a kid, we lived on the 5th floor of a building with no elevator so I ran into people living in the same building relatively often. I always said “Labas rytas”, “Laba diena” or whatever was appropriate and they always greeted me back. Maybe it’s different when you’re a kid, I’m not really sure
We say hello to neighbours that we are familiar with. A coworker lives in your home? You say hi to him. An old friend lives in your home you say hi to him. Or people that you manage to create some sort of relationship you say hi. Others? They just mind theyr own bussines and we do to. You say hi to a stranger when you need to approach him, say one neoghbour takes your parking spot all the time so you come to him and say Hi, now the rude part would be to come to him and just say move the car. Not saying Hi is not rude, not saying Hi back is kinda rude, but if you bombard a person with greetings all the time when he has no intention to chat with you is rude.
In Belarus, we have a teacher in university from Lithuania. He himself is pretty extraverted person, even worked on radio station back in Lithuania and he said belarusian people seemed more opened up generally
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When my sister and niece visited Lithuania in 2015, they were approached by Lithuanian strangers who commented that my niece looked so Lithuanian. Neither my sister nor niece speak Lithuanian, although my sister's heritage is completely Lithuanian. I guess that there are some outgoing Lithuanians.
When I visited my relatives in Lithuania in 1993 for the first time, I felt included and warmly greeted and treated.
My openion is opposite to you. The first time in June, 2023 I visited Lithuania with closed friends from Bangkok - I have to say that people is not cold at all. They are helpful and friendly - When we tried to find Post Office nearby HALLES MARKET in Vilnius - 3 persons have show us where .. Post office is..An Old lady who is not good at English tried to explain to us 🌻💛💚🧡 I am appreciated, really. Maybe I live in Sweden so I understand the general culture and character mentality of people in North of Europe... therefore..
I will explore Lithuniana - Lietuva more next summer. Beutiful country to visit, really.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIDEO CLIP - I get more view in the other side of Lithuania. So it is good knowledge for understanding more.. Finally I am postitive to LITHUANIA!
Best Wishes From STOCKHOLM - SWEDEN
I also heve heared that we in this regard are similar to japanese, from japanese themselves.
Lithuania is a perfect country for an introvert like me.
Generally, I view strangers approaching me with caution. I remember during Sostinės dienos I was standing around trying to read a poster. One foreigner came up and asked if I am okay:D I just looked at him and was quiet cause I didn't understand what he wanted from me (I guess my expectation is that when someone approaches you = they're in trouble or want something from you). We chatted for a minute or two and parted ways but throughout the whole conversation I just kept waiting for him to ask something! I couldn't believe that someone would come up just to have a small convo :D
This is well thought out and expressed fairly . People can get (too)easily offended when a discussion on character comes up . I have been there . Id say you hit on every relevant point . Language is significant . Younger generations speak more English. And the comment about the Soviets is extremely relevant . There were paid (and non paid ) KGB rats everywhere . Prior to '91 a regular person could expect to be followed when landing and see the same car parked outside for weeks. "Trauma " is an accurate word. At 3am you will hear what the Russians /Soviets did to them. Family going missing overnight was a regular occurrence . I found the people extremely warm and giving...as mentioned , once you've established a rapport . I mean extremely generous as in " stay here 2 weeks if you want , here's a room, here's a remote , here's 3 huge meals a day ..". And they're proud of their culture and happy to show it off . Even the Frank Zappa bust downtown Vilnius.
Ok maybe we (Lithuanians) are not the happiest and smiliest nation on the Earth but there is also a saying that Lithuanians are the Spanish of the Baltics 😀🤣 I guess it can give you an idea what to expect the more North you are travelling 😀 We are not big fans of fake smiles and “how are you?” (while in fact you do not care), indeed, but once you make a connetion and friendship with a Lithuanian, you can stay friends for life and count on any support and help you might need! Moreover, if a Lithuanian opens up and invites you to his/her place, you will be greeted and welcomed with that BIG smile you were looking for 😄 We truly are (can be) very hospitable and friendly 😉
I heard that, too
I personally am introverted and see this as a positive. When a stranger approaches I tend grow nervous(but am still put together) that is mostly because my dad's paranoia carried over to me. For example if listening to music with headphones leave one ear opened, always be aware of your surroundings, glance around every couple minutes, have something to defend yourself with(keys or smth), always lock doors.(He grew up at the end of the occupation). So when they approach I grow nervous, suspicious or concerned (since there could be an emergency). The one time I interacted with foreigners (Two Americans) I was quite surprised that they wanted to know more about me(how my english was so good) it left weird impression on me since strangers rarely talk more than they need to(or compliment eachother).
Do we mean being introverted or reserved. The English can be very reserved and it can take time for them to accept you into the group. Having seen Lithuanians cut loose on a few occasions, it’s pretty extroverted behaviour.
Sounds like we the people of Finland and Lithuania has a lot in common! Dunno what Lithuanians think, but seems we are on the same page pretty much!
Finland are much nicer
@@kekoc2080 Finland havent 50 years of russian occupation...
In my opinion, it's not that us Lithuanians are introverted, but we just don't like to bother others (this is more often in bigger cities). If you travel to a smaller town or village the people there are often very friendly and chatty.
No, you are not. Very unfriendly to foreigners. Very uninterested in any dialogue. Both in bigger cities and villages
Just came back from spending two weeks there. I am Lithuanian by background. The distantness of people in everyday places, like the grocery store, was very evident. In the USA, we try to be pleasant to the employees of the businesses we patronize. The employees are expected to be polite, cheerful and helpful. We found the opposite. We were surprised by the apparent "crankiness" or "ambivalent" attitude by people working in shops, or businesses. Restaurant staff was polite, and efficient, but rarely cheerful and friendly. It's a cultural difference, and I think much may have to do with carry over from the Soviet era, where people were encouraged to spy on each other and resources were scarce, so cheating to keep more of your resources was dangerous and required keeping very tight social circles.
lol..just been to my brother’s wedding near vilnius..same thing i noticed was how people is introvert.not a smile in sight.talking about waitress?i was allmost apologizing for being there..on the other side,i found old people stopping me for my look (im mediterranean) and having a nice talk.allso the bride’s family has been super inclusive with us came from italy.definitely need another trip to lithuania ❤❤ i allso thought the no-smile was some sort of heritage from russian culture somehow
I agree with your assessment that generally Lithuanians are introverted, I have lived in the city and in a small village and also have Lithuanian family that this applies to. At first I found people very cold, rude and unfriendly but over time I have got used to it and adjusted my expectations accordingly. I agree with the statement concerning occupation, not just in soviet times but by the Nazis as well, this must have had a huge psychological effect on the population. I think the younger generation are moving on from this trauma with the help of travel and multicultural views and having so much more access to the outside world.
@@vaidask4508 i agree that geographical location probably has an impact as well as many other factors
I would call this reserved or calm.
I would say that yes, lithuanians are introverts. If you compare us to Italians or Spaniards - we are really much much more closed. But if you compare us to Norwegians or Finnish - we are the same :) So it depends what you expect. I think Lithuanians are very very open to the people from the West (10 years or more before) - we were even surprised to see people from the West coming to us. We are extremely open to Ukrainians. If you expect that someone in the pub, restaurant or in the street will come and greet you - be ready for disappointment :) If you engage and try to speak with people, and if they speak your language (probably it is going to be english) - I would be surprised if they would avoid you and won't help you. But then again, if after a short interaction you expect a lithuanian to invite you for a pub crawl or a dinner - that is not the case :) I myself am not at all afraid to talk to another lithuanian, most of the people are really friendly and will engage (especially if you do not start in some crazy talk as anti waxx, pro russia, anti Nato, etc.)
Actually NO!! Lithuanians are nowhere close to Finnish people. As a foreigner I made more friends and connections in Finland in 6 months than living 7 years in Lithuania ,even with speaking Lithuanian. Lithuanians are people that are extremely introverted and closed. None like this is Europe. Latvians are more friendlier too in comparison.
Try Scandinavians at first and then come back, then we will discuss about cold Lithuanians
Estonia and Finland especially
@@Leitis_Fella - geography is not your strong point….. You mean other Baltic countries?
Introverts aren't people who don't talk a lot and start conversations, they are people who get energy by being with themselves and introverts can be friendly and "not cold" and talk with people and in my opinion it's not that Lithuania has a lot of introverts, it's just that from Lithuanian culture you are expected to "be quiet" and not talk with every stranger you pass.
If you don't go towards the foreigners whose kanguage you can't understand and speak, it does not mean you are an introvert or unfriendly, of course. Lithuanians are thaught not to speak to strangers and not to try to solve their problems if even they understand their kanguage and the problem... and that doesn't mean they are not friendly. It does mean that strangers are strangers and strangers don't need you to interfer, if they don't ask for it themselves. If you quietly go around without a smile on a street in a cold time of a year, it does not mean you are unfriendly or an introvert either. It just means it's cold, you have your own problems to think of or something similar. Well, if you had lived in the USSR and after the USSR, you would not trust strangers, and you would have a lot of your own problems to figure out and solve. You would have gotten used to go with a worried tired face, and see others around going likewise.
This education explains a lot of things. Even if a person dies in your own eyes, you will just walk away since you have your own problems. It's surprising how such people have managed to build a society at all.
A few examples of why life in Soviet Lithuania sucked:
• The year - 1972. The place - Kaunas City Garden, Freedom alley (2 min from where I attended high school). A 19 year old student Romas Kalanta came in front of a Musical theatre, poured gasoline on his head and set himself on fire. In his later discovered private notes he wrote: "Only the order is at fault for my death". He was publicly declared insane. In the upcoming weeks police were stationed around the site to arrest anyone who approached to place flowers for him.
• During the soviet regime government critics and other "undesirables", who, for one reason or another, couldn't be deported to Siberia, were instead declared psychologically ill and sent to psychiatric institutions. There, to keep up the ruse, they were subjected to "treatments" that often made perfectly healthy individuals genuinely psychologically ill.
• This one was told to me by my geography(?) teacher. At the time the expectation was that an adult should spend his day at work and a student - at school. In Freedom alley of Kaunas, the centre of the city basically, you could often see police officers strolling along the street. Their job was to stop any passerby and ask them why aren't they at work/in school. If you're lucky - they'll reprimand you, if not...
Being outspoken, extroverted or too much out of line at the times of "prie ruso" could get you in some trouble.
@@vaidask4508 Well, we Lithuanians love to blame someone in all our problems, but not our self ;) East Europe is sometimes depressing tho.
As a German to me it is pretty usual that people keep to themselves. It isn't as introverted as my experience with people in Lithuania but you still don't expect to jsut talk to strangers or get a hello back if you don't know each other. Though I have to agree that Lithuanians do tend to keep more to themselves as they like to openly talk with someone.
My own mentor said to me that it could be that everyone outside this building might not be as open to talk and do stuff as all the people in this building are.
For the Soviet time era I can see this on my own mom. She was born in that time in Lithuania and she barely talks to anyone except if she needs it. In general she likes to keep distance from being around a lot of people and is indeed very introverted.
Generalisations about Germany usually too simplistic!
3 Germans, ... 4 opinions!
In the Rhineland, e. g. in Cologne and Düsseldorf, the people are, in tendency, more extroverted than in Flensburg.
I am from Sweden and can relate to how Lithuanians are. Maybe I should visit Lithuania someday+
I'm Lithuanian and trust me, people from smaller villages are wayyyy more social than anyone from Vilnius will ever be.
Hi friend..I like your country..
lithuanians very closed before few drinks :)
Im 3rd generation Lithuanian on my mother's side and watching this I feel like I'm just like them just don't want to be bother by strangers in public or eating even when on a bus i just keep to myself.
Those who say that Lithuanians are cold and unfriendly have never met Swedes
Lithuanians are very friendly people when it comes to party 🎉😂try it and then say that we are not smiling or we are not friendly 😅just make sure you have 3 days off to recover hahah
i am Lithuanian, and i noticed that normaly only old people talk to strangers
I live in UK for 11 years and still struggle with small talks. I love not having unnecessary talking or interaction but it doesn't mean I'm not friendly. I did change over the time, become more chatty and confident... I just don't get that constant need of talking to everyone and asking how are they? Or how is your weekend been or that weather chat none stop 😄
Putting everything under the umbrella of introversion does the job if you're into generalizations. It's true, until it's not. In reality it's a bit more complex. Lithuanians appreciate their privacy and are energy efficient on social level, meaning they don't waste time on small talk, unless there is some potential there. The history of the country, social inclinations, possible language discomfort and personal safeguards, all these come into play. It doesn't mean that kindness and friendliness isn't there, it's just that you need to peal a few more layers of the onion to reach it. Striking a conversation in lithuanian with - Labas, this or that in english... - usually removes the first layer. All the following can be removed by having some social lubricant. One drink per layer will get you to BFF's sooner or later :D
All you need to know about Lithuania and Introvertism: I became more social and open when I moved to Finland.
In Lithuania if some rando comes to you smiling and starts chatting, chances are he wants something from you. So of course people are looking to you like a mad man if you go to them :D
Lithuanians greet their neighbours if there are not more than a hundred of them in one building and if they can know everyone who is living in their building, and who is just a visitor of those who live in the same building. And Lithuanians could be friends with their closest neighbours, but not every loud Italian foreigner will get to know or notice this, if the house is big and he/ she lives far away from those people.
Some English teacher told me that when she was in Sweden or Finland (cant really remember) with some students, the people there were VERY reserved and private, nothing compared to Lithuanians, which aligns with the comments on that test 😂
You could actually go and greet people in Lithuanian there in Ireland, in France, in Italy, in Germany. They would probably look shocked. Especially if you'd go on chating to them in Lithuanian and they would not even know what a language that is.
The smiling to strangers is never about weakness, we just generally prefer real long term connection,versus small short term connection where we probably will never meet that person again. For some reason we think that if the small talk happens in businesses with the employee of that place, it is not because they want to talk to you, but because they are trained to do it. Places where the employees will talk to you freely and not fake friendly will be loved by Lithuanians. Actually quite often the mood of the conversation will be dictated by the customer, not the employee, so if you want to have chat with the server or the barista, you have to ingage in that conversation and people will usually then talk to you, unless there is a long line and you're holding off many hungry people.
Compared to Swedes I find people in the Baltics, including Russians to be more social than Scandinavians. I never considered Lithuanians introverted.
1:20 - it stands BE CALM on the car. It means DO NOT WORRY well take care of this and that in this case, but anyway. Calm means happy and well enough for a Lithuanian.
But Lithuanians (and, maybe, Danes) are considered the loudest, the most emotional, the least calm of all the Northern Europeans.
They have been thaught, often by their own life experience, not to be too optimistic, open, not to trust strangers too much, be cautious.
If you’ll laugh out loud a lot, you might have to cry after that, the older Lithuanians used to say (it was their superstition).
So true .
I'd agree. I find it easier to make friends with foreigners.
Oh yes, you are totally right despite living in Barcelona for 3 years now I still get scared or suspicious when people start a conversation out of nothing. I do not leave home without my music player, to be honest. But if someone makes an effort to know me I would appreciate an effort and start trusting the person. But I admit I would never do it myself.
Probably just bad manners. That said I never observed these issues growing up in the 90s as a kid. Everyone would play in the sand pit, basketball in the yard was a must, moms would chat while kids play, grandmas would sit and talk on a bench. You go up the staircase of your block apartment and you say the polite Hello to your neighbour if you come across them. And you would hold the door for the older generation at a minimum if you finally learned that lesson. Maybe its just me, maybe its just my neighbourhood of mixed Lithuanians and Russians... Simpler times, better times.
Pritariu piliečiui: we dont need fake smiles. Tačiau tikras draugas lietuviui brangiau nei brolis. Taigi leiskite gyventi kiekvienam kaip nori, ir jums leis gyventi taip pat.
Cold & Unfriendly? No. But we need to get to know each other more. We like to spend our time in our Circle of friends and families. Small talk between strangers usually lead nowhere so it's pointless and annoying. I find shopper question "Do you need help?" annoying. NO if i'll need it, i'll ask for it, leave me alone.
Also, you don't need to hide your emotions under a mask. I lived un UK for 8 years, and i always felt that they are friendly because they try to keep façade, always talking behind your back how they hate immigrants or something. Everything came open in full colour after Brexit, when racism and discrimination Skyrocket and suddenly that behaviour became "Normal" and "acceptable"
@@onlyoneamong300 Polite? Yes, most of the time. Probably cuktural thing, more like "Forced" politeness. You get to understand that like after 5 years living there. Firs year? "God Brits are so polite" Helpful? Sometimes. Less helpful if you are immigrant. And yes, there are all sort of people everywhere, good AND bad. Bur that just from my personal experience. Are you an British?
Lithuanian, we are generally and honest about what we do and how we act.
No fakes smile and no unreasonable talks about nothing.
If we see you have point of view the same, and live values belongs to as ,than we see reason for talks.
I met a couple of shy Lithuanians and still, they’re very sweet. I was told Lithuanians were cold but they changed my mind 😍
5:41 idk about that. I grew up in London but if you'd look up introvert in a dictionary, you'd probably see my picture next to it lol
I am Lithuanian and it's true, people usually are more sceptical hence introverted. Baggage carrying from Soviet Union and being stoic
I don't think it has anything to do with USSR, because I work with Russians and they are quite loud compared to myself and my Baltic friends. I think our mentalities and culture are different.
you wan to say us,that finns,norwegians,or swedes are shiny and opened ???absolutely not,may be we need more sun,too many dark and rainy days we have there ,plus almost half year is cold...Lithuanians dont like fake smalltalks about nothing..when talk is only for talk..nobody wants really know yours life or problems...
Learn Lithuanian, then you'll notice that people who know each other chat to each other in the busses.
Nobody asociates smiling with weakness here. But they aren't used to smile to everyone they see, just because they see you. If you'll smile to a Luthuanian you don't know for no reason, he or she might think that you noticed something strange and funny with him. But you don't have to look serous, if you really feel happy. And Lithuanians don't look serious all the time.
I think there are all kinds of Lithuanians nowadays. Some look serious and don't talk to strangers, some know English, French or German and don't live in Lithuania, some are young and happy, some are old and grumpy, some are worried, some are careless. Some are drunk and don't know what they are doing... some are loud, some are quiet. Some are local Russians, but live in Lithuania, and can be judged or doomed as Lithuanians by some foreigners. Well, I don't know what to say. We are not French because we never have been French. And we are not gonna quickly change for the French, so moan or not, if you live here, you will have to deal with us as we are.
Yes!! ☺️
Great video and a pretty good summary of the reasons behind the more introverted character of Lithuanians. However, I do have some comments. If you are a foreigner moving or visiting Lithuania, do not go there blind, read a little bit about the country and our history. The way people act, no matter their nationality, is often dependent on their own or their countries past. Yes we might not be as talkative as the Irish, but we have grown up being told "džiaukis, kai kaimyno stogas dega" (be happy when your neighbors roof is burning). Personally, I think this is a relatively significant problem for Lithuanians, especially the slightly older generations +30 years old. Who sometimes struggle expanding their horizons. They will rather assume you are a "bad" person, than take the risk of you causing damaging them. However, there is one big caveat. Specifically that this exact attitude can be avoided if the ice is broken, not in the typical "western" way.
To best explain this, perhaps it is the best to show the perspective of some Lithuanians. For a Lithuanian, trust is very important, thus if you make a good friend you will stay friends with that person. However, we want to size you up first. It is nearly as simple as that. If you approach a Lithuanian and start small talk, some may enjoy it, but the majority of people will most likely take it as a rude conversation. We do not see much point in small talk. It does not reveal anything about you or me, nor does it make me interested in wanting to talk to you. Matter of fact, personally, I will see you as super boring and non-genuine, thus most likely avoid talking to you. If you want Lithuanians to be more open, ask them a serious question. I do not care about the weather, I can look at my phone for that, however, if you show interest in e.g. Lithuanian culture they will talk for hours. Even the same grandmas that have serious trauma from the soviet times, will even feed you and show you their whole life story. All you need is to learn some Lithuanian and ask the right questions.
To summarize, Lithuanians might be introverted to some "conversation" types. However, that is simply a cultural difference. We are not cold, you just misunderstand our conversational culture. Once you know a person, you can talk about the weather. But if you want to get to know the person don't start with the weather, ask a Lithuanian about their favorite places in Lithuania, show interest in our history and ask about what are some good museums to visit, etc. We have simply learned to be more quiet, thus some Lithuanians do not see much point running their mouths on perceived "waste of time" topics.
As an introverted person, going out and talking with people is exhausting, but I am not a rude person, and if you will engage a conversation, I will keep it up with a smile, although it will take a nap at home to recover from it :D
I'm lithuanian that now lives in Ireland and i'd honestly agree with this.
I thought i was a bit wierd for not enjoying small talk so much and being far more introverted.
I'd also agree on my case that we do tend to open up and be more friendly once we establish a personal connection to a person,Happy to know that it basically isn't just me that's somewhat an introvert
I'm basing this off of myself
As an American, my Paternal Grandparents were Irish/Scottish and my Maternal Grandparents were Lithuanian. The Irish side of my family were very outgoing, kind, funny, gregarious and outwardly loving toward my Dad (their cousin). They were always happy to see us and always left me with a warm happy feeling being around them. The Lithuanian side of my family were the complete opposite. They were cold, distant people who almost never spoke to us, and didn't really want to. They were closed off, unfriendly, humorless, spoke very little and left me feeling like I was of no interest to them. They almost never spoke to my Mom or visited my Grandmother. Over the years I often wondered if all Lithuanians were like them! Over the years, I've met very few native Lithuanians. Some were very nice while some were just like my Mom's family. They left an impression on me. I hope most Lithuanians are not like them.
We’re not. Culture is reserved, but once friendships are made, there is no topic that could not be talked in comfort. It’s also easier to engage in native language, if someone has limited English, they will be more inclined to be reserved not to risk sounding stupid.
I've made like 50 friends with no problem
I think most of Lithuanias will agre that a stranger being very frendliy is a RED flag. If someone aproaches you and try to be your best buddy when they are not he wants something from you, so we aproach it with caution, until we see the intent. Some just dont have patience/time and ignore you as being someone who will try to sell you a thing you dont need or just ask for money. (this applies when you stike a conversation with a bypasser in publick streets, if your in a bar its less likely they think this) So the advice would be state the intent of conversation early, dont pretend to be something you are not.
And if the intent is to talk about the weather, i dont know, maybe you will hit a meteorologist and you both will share interest in the weather and have a lovely chat :D
If we want to socialize we seek someone we know, or go to places where we know people gather to socialize. A bus is not that places, a bus is a means of transportation, a night club or a bar is a different story. Heck you might find some friendly and chatty people in a park, sitting on a bench listening to a birds. Dont try to start a conversation with a person in a bus listening to his music.
The younger generation seems pretty extroveted, I think with time this will make Lithuania more open and extroveted overall. However, I find that a lot of people lack politeness.
I'am from Bangladesh. I just have visited Lituania.. It's bit make me strange to my aspect and culture but it's ok..
It's the other way around - people in the small cities are less introvert and warmer in general. Vilnius is probably coldest city in Lithuania and I'm not talking about the weather.
Lithuanians here in new york are soo nice, specially the women and beautiful too
People from Stockholm, Sweden are very alike Lithuanians
it seems that lithuanians are hospitalable,once they know you more,what a concept
And... if you came to Lithuania quite recently (after the climate change), you haven't experienced the real cold winter, so you don't know what it would be like to stand a chat to every stranger on the street on the ice, in the snow, and when it's -15 or -20 of Celsius.
Lithuanians, Latvians and Estonians are not like Americans and Australians. They are not going to say, “Hi! How are you?” In some cultures, if you act like that, people will think that you are fake. Bear in mind that some people may be outwardly friendly, but they will not accept you. I am sick and tired of meeting fake people.
i don't mind making effort to connect with someone, it's normal, but sometimes seems like you need to do it all the time.
Also there's huge language barrier for me at least. I think it's easier when you know lithuanian
It's a complex topic, not just being introvert or extrovert.
In Lithuanian case there is one part of soviet times trauma when speaking to stranger or even your neighbours could have mean you are talking to some KGB agent and if you say something too much it could cost you and your relatives a huge troubles. I'm in my 30s and my parents and grandparents both lived during soviet times and their generation still imprinted this perception at some scale in my generation. So generation after generation we're gonna get rid of this trauma.
Second factor is living in rather cold and dark environment. Here we share similarities with Scandinavians. Here neuroscience comes in. People in this environment are more depressed, less happy due to lack of sun light, this leads to deficiency of vitamin D. This guy participates in a synthesis of neurotransmitter known as serotonin. And serotonin is a "happiness" hormone. That means, vitamin D deficiency directly corelates with less happiness. So people who feel unhappy or depressed are more tend to be introvert or closed.
@Vaidas K did you read only the first part of the comment?
@Vaidas K People in Norway tend to say hi to strangers even in rural area which is not the case with Lithuania, so tell me if only the spot on the map matters why it is so?
Can you do a video on how to get to Klaipeda? I've seen videos ON Klaipeda but now on how to get there. It would be appreciated a lot!
1 ticket to klaipeda from station (train or buss) will fix yours dreams.
We just don't like small talk and waste time on meaningless conversions. Better be straight and have real relationships than be chatty and superficial. I am Lithuanian who lives in italy.and I am extrovert but still superficial talks about nothing here in Italy doesn't make any sense.why do that if next minute you just doesn't care anymore.
Our reservation and respect to other private space and realness in relationship is real
When I was growing up in the 90's it was somewhat dangerous to interact with strangers, in Vilnius at least. You had to be cautious because there were quite a few people living in desperate conditions who could've done anything to make their lives less miserable. A lot of the people had very little money and used drugs and alcohol to fight depression. I'd say there's more reasons why lithuanians are the way they are, but these are just a few of the top of my head
shiiiit 90ies was most social part of my life for sure, all neoghbourhood kids we would play together maybe 30-40 different age kids constant social happenings hahaha, now in modern internet days and in very social spain, my social life is mostly chating online lol
me personally with self development you get confidence so i all out :) born in Vilnius but feel like World child :) good video btw. nice shots even near my house lol :)
I think Im Lithuanian at heart.
Lithuanians act and behave pretty much like Norwegians. Actually its a common thing among all northerners, Lithuanians not exception
You are not taking into consideration the absolute normalization of bullying in Lithuanian schools People are taught early on by the culture to keep to themselves or experience abuse. A lot of this 'introversion' is early life trauma either directly or just from having witnessed it done to others.
@@lietuvaitelietuvos3650 good for you
@Vaidas K scandinavians are much more socially advanced, they place importance on emotional intelligence - we don't. I'm not sure what the soviets have to do with it, that's just where we are at culturally
i feel attacked
I think one of the reasons might be centuries of supressed freedom of speech from some occupiers
Wages are awful, services are horrible, weather is terrible, i’d be pretty pissed off too
As a Lithuanian who is now living abroad i can tell it's impossible to have in the country all introvert people, we have both like in any other country, the difference is that in East Europe people tend to look not that friendly, but its not really true, because we dont know strangers we not sure about if that person is nice, so we not really smile, show emotions because we are in observation mode, but when we see that person is actually quite nice we will be very friendly to you, we just need time to open up, for example i live in Indonesia now, and people are very friendly but downside is lots of them are backstabbers, smile at you but talk do bad things behind your back, so in the end both sides have pluses and minuses depending hoe you see everything in general.
Not only to stranger I have a friend who is Lithuania for one year. He is cold and unfriendly too !
I think there's one thing different from Japanese and Lithuanians is that Japanese people "smile" a lot, even to strangers. Although Japanese smiles are often just a representation.
Recommend some websites and suggestions for easy jobs in Lithuania
Sounds like they have the same vibe as Japanese people on some levels.
Spent the last few years working in warehouses. I have to say all Europeans apart from the Lithuanians have been friendly. I'm fact I've only had bad experiences with Lithuanians apart from one. Very rude!
So what about at a bar? Here in the US, most folks, (not all of course) are friendly when sitting at the bar having a drink. It would be considered rude not to be at least mildly friendly.
Not everyone is an introvert, of course, but it's a fact, Lithuania cannot be called the land of smiles. I have been there several times and I have never seen fewer smiles than in this country