My Worst Cocaine Bender
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- Cocaine benders can sound amazing and the reality is they are not because all the harm and hurt we do makes our life even more alone. If you are struggling with addiction www.aa.org and www.na.org are great resources if you are looking for help.
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I share only from experience to help anyone struggling, remember you are worth it, and never be afraid to reach out for help!
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*I am a not licensed Therapist, Doctor, or Counselor I share experience being diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, GAD, MDD, Losing a Wife, and Father to suicide along with being a recovering alcohol and cocaine addict. I Share from experience to help others through their journey!
It’s about people helping people and together we can do this, you can do this!
#addiction #education #facts
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Therapy plays a huge role in recovery and life in general adhdonline.com/ericzink/ to get tested for ADHD and more, along with getting connected to psychiatrists and psychologists in your area.
Cocaine addiction actually destroyed my life. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
Hey! Yes Predroavaro
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Ye I got a homie that can relate a lot to your stories, except he did things on a lesser scale due to economical reasons but you explain it so well 💯
Nervous tic was so annoying for me... Even after 15 years without touching it, i still have sometimes ...
I ended up in jail for 3 months for taking police on a highspeed chase in SC. After doing coke for a few days. Lol.
Same that was similar to me. I didn't drive meth or other drugs. It's a struggle. #Jesus
I just don't believe you're story's dude. Sorry.
Sounds like a good life lol u lived it
what if family or employers see this?
you're acting like those teenagers who share their story. Dawg. There are famous people who articulate 1000x better about drug stories. Why become a martyr to share your story.
stay safe
If you can't be supportive, move tf on. No need to stop by just to bash someone. I have a feeling he helps a lot more people than YOU ever have or will.🙄🔥🔥🔥🔥
@@sickoftheshit im sick of this comment
@@nexusobserve 😂😂😂
I love knowing my ex will OD on the stuff one day 🤞🏼
When Id do an eight ball, its like feeling you are doing something very involved as the time flies by. Now 28 years off coke, it was a huge waste of my time and resources
God loves you and wants to give you rest and comfort, believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved if that’s what you want,
@@haisay8674fairytales can’t save you now xx
Did you also enjoy the coke effect alone or only in combination with alcohol? I think the synergy of the two is what hooks most.
I use to go sit in a emergency room parking lot, because I had done so much that I just knew it was the end. After sitting there 30 minutes, I would start to feel OK again and I would drive off and do 3-4 lines and 😢
Literally me, I had a heart attack last year and still didn't stop, I'm 28
Literally me, I had a heart attack back in December and still couldn't stop
You’re a soldier
23 days sober today from alcohol. One day at a time
You got this
I’m almost 3 days and it’s rough man , I’ve got Xanax to help out , but to me nothing is like the alcohol feeling . I guess I can mimic the alcohol effect with some exercise and whatnot . Just so hard to push myself. There’s just something about that dang alcohol. What makes it even harder is how easily accessible it is 😢 I’ll be ok tho . It helps to see others who share the same struggles and understand what I mean !
@nathanialbroadway2719 man we are opposite. I never knew how someone could be addicted to acholol but I was so heavily addicted to xanax. 3 months clean on the 11th
3 hours sober brah
Stay strong brother, I'm writing this after 5 beers even though I said I wouldn't drink. Alcohol is horrible.
I just love your videos . I was drunk for 27 years . Been sober almost 6 years now. And your vids give me the strength to stay sober . Well done 👏 ✔️
You got this and props back at you!
nice bro keep pushing im still messing up and having a drink then that leads to taking a few toke's of hard
@dizzythakidd7350 we all mess up but don't give up. And trust me winning can be done . Just keep fighting 💪. I'm sending 🙏 you some prayers
Cocaine bender resembles a bipolar manic episode. During my last one I also smashed escorts, smoked a lot of weed and alcohol, bought four brand new cars (my credit rating which is ruined now was excellent back then), bought fifteen watches, one of them for three grand). No long term thinking, just doing what feels good
💯
i think ur capping
@@dizzythakidd7350what does it mean? “capping”..??
lying @@scandicdream
@@scandicdreamlying
To anyone who is trying to quit (quit anything by the way), the feeling you get when you wake up the morning after being very tempted but resisting, is such a beautiful indescribable feeling. It is more addictive than any drug and gives you a high that stays forever, no comedown, and you feel like you're in a beautiful film.
Love that so true👍🏻
Hey bro. I’m struggling right now. Nobody around me knows. Do you have any advice? I’ve just deleted the dealers number
Dude the only thing that worked for me was journaling my thoughts and writing everything I felt on paper. It’s actually fucking worked !
One of your more passionate videos. I remember how horrible i felt in the midst of the women and drugs. The real fun is the anticipation and lead up to the using. Once the bag is open and the lines are cut up the best part is over. I became so paranoid after years of use that it was no longer fun but the craving and anticipation was so intense it would convince me to use even though i knew i would be miserable an hour after using.
It becomes such a nightmare
Yes, I completely relate to this.
A quarter ounce of cocaine per day is wild lol
Yup it is… especially cause he was prolly doing the cheap heavy cut stuff. I say this because I was there for like 2-3 years. Not only is it absolutely absurd, terrifying and sad that it gets that bad but the real killer is when you get clean and realize you were spending $500-600 a day do the math 5 out of 7 days a week cause the two days you were comatose from the three days of no sleep. You’d think you’d wake up realize what you’d just put yourself through and never touch the stuff again… nopeeee you gon learn todayy cause your ass is calling the plug an hour later to restart the cycle
Nah it’s normal where I’m from cheap good quality coke and beer… no problem
I’m 23 years old it’s hard to find people who relate to me at those age..
I was a raging addict at 23 also and get it believe me there are it’s just where to find them. Definitely try some na and aa meetings they have some based on age so you’re around the same people and not old timers telling you about back in the day
Dude I’m dealing with an addiction rn at 20 years old but it’s not drugs. It’s porn and masturbation. It’s hard man I’m only 4 days sober but I have to prevail and you can too
I’m 24 and had been using cocaine for 6 years now. Been off it 2 months. There’s a lot more people your age that can relate, you’d be surprised and it’s sad. I was at the point where after about a gram and half I would get the worst cocaine psychosis.
@@javiergonzalez4283 heyyy bro I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through that. I haven’t done coke in about 8 months, but it was never my drug of choice. Alcohol is where my problem lies… the hangxiety and agitation I experience for 2-3days after a night out of drinking is truly unbearable… where are you from brother ? I hope you continue to get better.. I have considerably lowered my alcohol intake but my binge drinking is still very much a problem.. I just hope things get better. My only hope stands with Jesus 🙏
I drank a bottle of liquor a day since age 17 til 26, went to rehab then got out and did so much coke and ketamine I had a myocardial infarction and brain damage and I'm still struggling with coke daily about to be 29, you're not alone and I'm not giving up hope I was clean from alcohol for 2.5 years had a relapse but now 2 months off it. Ideally of course I'd not be on drugs either but one day at a time don't give up hope
This lifestyle sounds expensive. But I suppose you don’t have to buy food lol. I’ve never been addicted to coke, but, the few time I’ve done it, I knew that could be an issue if I kept fucking around with it.
Expensive is relative
eric show how your life changed . what you do now. how many friends you made after getting better. this will make others feel motivated.
and talk about your opinion on why drugs are available so easily. share your information valuable information.
In about a week you’ll see a shift in my content more on life after addiction
I love how you keep it real. uncensored to the
point thats how the world really is
I had plenty of those but on alcohol alone...thank god I didn't add coke to the mix....😅
My worst well 1 of the worst coke benders i had i was having opiate withdrawal so i thought coke would help so i started snorting coke until they ran out of powder and was like we have crack so i started smoking crack few weeks later i shoot up coke and then black tar then mixed them together then back to crack and that went on for almost a year and woke up in jail
been there done that myself bro, just not the mainlining
Can't even eat a peanut when i use to use blow and booze lol!
God loves you and wants to give you rest and comfort, believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved if that’s what you want,
It does sound exciting but I understand the shame at the end…work and reality always comes back faster than you can come down
See, why bother caring and making all those missed calls? As a hurt kid from being let down by a coke junkie parent when I was young (father, mother was amazing and did none of this crap) I believe that you get to a point early in life that you just get over that family member.
Initial fear becomes anger. Anger becomes disappointment. Disappointment becomes apathy and indifference.
I sincerely don't get why, or how, people keep on caring. If I come second in your priorities after this crap, I don't care if you breathe or not, let alone call you repeatedly.
I feel sad, I appreciate your sincerity but I imagine that my boyfriend does the same as you. He has the same DO and he usually disappears for days, it is very painful to know this because I hope that they will change... He is the man with whom I would like to form a home. It pains me to know that he can be doing all these things and it surprises me too, how can someone do all this and pretend that nothing happened?
So you let your boyfriend that you love and want a home life with, sleep with other woman and you are ok with this. No man or woman is worth this. You keep doing what you are doing and you’ll keep getting what your getting
You simply cannot build a life with someone who's number one priority is their addiction. I hope you will come to understand that you deserve so much more than someone who will never put you before drugs/alcohol. It's not possible. He's your boyfriend, so you could move on and create a wonderful life for yourself. Best wishes to you.❤
I’m convinced my phone heard me talking about my relapse to my friend & this video showed up on my feed. Thanks for letting me know things do get better if you work hard on being sober. I made the mistake of working overtime for weeks to keep me busy & the one day I get to myself I relapsed. On the bright side I no longer have contact with my dealer.
No wife no kids, is this lifestyle appropriate?
Youre wife looks good ...
It's important to share stories like this.
love how raw this is. currently going thru it
Why do people always drink when doing coke? Like why do they go hand in hand?
I have had some horrific benders on coke. I struggled to wash and I stayed in the house unless I needed to pick up more. Eating was a struggle. I noticed the fear of reality afterwards, reentering it was like stepping foot on an Alien planet.
For me it was always withdrawal that kept me from stopping the opiates are there any substance even if it was just a short-term thing it was the withdrawal that always freaked me out not really a life afterwards but thinking that, well it's almost like PTSD from withdrawal. You always think you're going to go into it even when you're clean😢
I know what you mean, was crack for me, would go on three day benders, didn't care about my wife at the time, my kid, nothing but the drug, then after 3 days, i would have to go home, and face the music. Sometimes I would spend all of our rent money while on these benders, i would dumpster dive at grocery stores in the winter to get a ton of food, always get a shit ton of steaks that were still good and other meats. of course my ex wife left me, i would have left me too. I am remarried and have been remarried for 15 years now and haven't touched that crap in over 17 years, thank God. Only by god's grace
You used the right word , OBSESSION ! I think sometimes that can be confused with addiction
You said in the past you paid for prostitutes. Or is that only when you weren't on a bender. Confused.
This fabrication along with other behaviors (repetitive rambling, not looking at the camera while speaking) is concerning to me Some of this can be explained away with the prescription drugs, but the lying is addict behavior. Don't preach to people if you can't get your story straight Eric. The ONLY excuse could be you are trying to protect people past present and future who could potentially be concerned. As a married man I get it, but you gotta come clean. I am on the verge of unsubscribing due to this lying crap and I am sure out of 2500 views or more since typing this, I am not the only one that caught the inconsistency in your story. If you don't care about your word then what does that say about you as a person?
Yeah there are definitely inconsistencies in his recounts of his experiences. I also detect elitism. It's annoying when he gets on that "i know it sounds awesome but it ruined my life" crap. some of it can be explained away but some of it imo are flat out character defects.
Yeah. I noticed this too in this video. I earlier videos I contributed some of it to him being medicated. As in maybe a Ritalin or 2 too much?? And the looking over the lens? I don’t think so, but for a second there I thought he was reading from a script…. I dont know, this video was weird, in a couple of ways….Uhm, Eric, hope you are ok?😮
And the f….ing? Is it friends, slut friends, prostitutes, I don’t even know anymore?? What’s going on
Why in a hotel room and not your place?
Great video Eric, thanks.
What did you tell your wife before you went on those benders?
Did you ever run out of money?
Sex was the last thing that I think I was interested in how many days did you go without eating
En un principio, me ha gustado tu videos. Ahora, me agobia un montón. Lo siento.
juajua
Me pasó igual que tú, me preocupa y me entristece tanto que mi novio esté haciendo todo esto
@@mujerespues5262 Pues, habla con el. Un poquito. Se que es fácil de decir.
Fuck for drugs… 😂
We like to call that being on a sick one foo ha
literally
literally
literally, literally
Man this is terrifying and horrible.
You sound like an absolute party animal 😂
He had a good ass time lol but at the end he was digging a hole for himself . I can relate though
Lmao thats what it like on coke and drinking. Shits not worth it
@@swagkidm10 at the end your only hurting yourself when the high is gone . It’s just a nightmare that you put yourself through . I’ve been through it so I know and I can say from self experience myself .
@@swagkidm10 your right it’s not worth it … that’s why is stopped . It’s was fun while it lasted but digging a hole for yourself and climbing back up from the hole you dig is 10x more to get back up … so coke it not worth it
7 gs a day is bananas.
I order that per year and i already feel like shit
Idk how anyone can do a whole 8 ball in a day. A G lasts me 3 days. Literally, how does your heart not race so fast that your anxiety is overwhelming?
days inn?? really nice... yeah for a junkie lol
His hat says it all!
That third day was always a mistake, haha. It's all an escape from something. And you just keep sinning, letting yourself down.
To put it simply, I did a lot of Pepsi for free. One day, I felt like I was having a heart attack. The thought of my parents potentially finding my body made me quit cold turkey… then fent became big a few months later
Were you cheating on your wife while you were using? Or maybe you and she had an open relationship, if I remember correctly, she had substance abuse issues, too. (Could be wrong.)
Thank you above all for showing yourself as you are, such that only those for whom your words reason perfectly can instantly understand.... It is above all important to free ourselves from this guilt which holds us, even after months, or more sobriety ...The lies, the arrangements, the lost people and I forget so much.... ADHD is so important to take into account, and it is starting to be more and more so in these "obsessive" relationships with cocaine in particular.... Never satisfied, never lying down, never tired.... Always the last, and even surrounded, as you say so well, always so alone.... The word is more than liberating, the admitting to yourself that you suffer from an invisible illness called drug addiction, addictive disorders..... So I don't know what it is in the United States, but one thing is certain , Health Insurance does not cover a "lack of will", "an absence of desire to stop", it reimburses an illness, and in this case, addiction.... Keep doing what you do, keep your head high and move forward.... Take care of yourself man
I like watching your videos, reminds me how shitty the end of benders were. Staying sober 🤘🏽
You are a brave man!
I know the horrible feeling after a big weekend on the gear and partying and being alone. Being straight feels more consistent without the big ups and downs
Cheating on the wife tsk tsk no excuse for that
Who gives a crap.
i'm wore out listening
If anyone is on how do I stop
This dude is a liar
Lightweight,
Appreciate your story bro😊
40 seconds in I'm thinking, am I supposed to feel sorry for this guy
I dont get it! Please help me
😂 iam exactly like your
Great channel! You are not alone
What’s up Eric
The most I’ve done is Alcohol/ Maríjuanâ… Other than that I’ve been afraid, yes AFRAID to try anything else. No shame in it. I’ve seen how the real drugs change people. Normally I just stay away from them and don’t hang out with them ever again lol
You got the experience with the worst one: alcohol.
@@Brazils_Establishment coke is way worse, alcohol only seems worse because of how prevalint it is.
yeah maybe on the brain but alcohol destroys every organ in your body including your brain so
Whats up with men and teenagers or women waaayyÿy younger than them?
With or without drugs?
😂
Dude your stories lmk I wasn’t alone when I was out there running wild . Salute to you Eric keep up the good work sir 👌🏽
can you give me your dealers number?
Eric, my son is a drug addict who has been in and out of prison for 25 years. He has tried so hard to stay clean but has been unable to conquer his demons. I see the hateful comments from douchebags who have no soul, and I want to say, you have helped me tremendously to understand what is going on with my son, and to give me hope for his future. We are attempting to find a rehab for him, and that is proving to be a nightmare for us. Anyway, thank you, with all my heart. You DO make a positive difference in people's lives for a myriad of reasons. I hope you pay no mind to the dirty, rotten jerks that find it impossible to be supportive. Thank you Eric, for your brutal honesty, and for sharing your experiences with us. You are a strong, incredible human being.❤
God loves you and wants to give you rest and comfort, believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved if that’s what you want,
@@haisay8674Keep your religious shit to yourself. I'm Christian also but I don't impose it on other people because it's terribly pretentious.
Bro it does sounds really bad bad ….. is crazy ridiculous shit