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The trans opera singer who went from soprano to tenor
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- Опубликовано: 11 дек 2017
- Holden Madagame thought he would never sing again when he knew he had to take testosterone to be the man he wanted to be. There was seemingly no precedent for professional opera singers to transition gender and retain a high-level performance in their voice.
But Holden's journey is different. A few years into a program of testosterone, he is training at the Glyndebourne Academy, which coaches young singers to overcome their barriers and achieve their potential.
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I’m trans male, and a sophomore in high school. I sing as a soprano 1. I started testosterone last September, and everyone in choir has been so supportive of me. My choir teacher showed this to me, to help with my transition. I’m planning on being a tenor next school year, and this video gave me so much hope for the future. It’s amazing to see trans singers who are passionate in music, like I am.
Do you have a falsetto register? Cos generally males have that as an extra register so I’m wondering if that would mean that you would get that?
Regular Jack It’s been a year now, so i am a regular tenor. I do have some of the soprano range i did before, but not nearly as high. So yeah, I have a normal male falsetto range with a lower range too
I know it's been a year, but I love this story! So happy you had that environment and group to support you!
Hello! Idk if you'll see this, but I started T about three months ago. My voice has been dropping very rapidly, and so has my range. I can't even sing tenor anymore without my voice cracking and contsantly going off pitch. No matter how much air I'm taking in and using, my voice still won't cooperate. Is this normal? If so is it temporary? Do you have any tips on how to regain control of my higher range? Don't get me wrong, I love being a bass, but I want to keep my higher male range too. Thank you so much for your time, and I hope you are having a wonderful day!!
@@croatoan2388 It is normal! It’ll take a while for your voice to settle, so that’s why your tenor range is a little rough right now. Depending on the person, you may or may not be able to keep your upper range. Though, when you reach about a year or two on T, your voice will mostly be where it’s gonna be, and you can start working on your range. It took me a couple years to gain a full tenor voice. I lost my soprano range and gained a very weak tenor voice, so I was upset for a while, but I practiced and practiced and it’s become fuller. It all takes time! Hope this helps!
The technique never goes away, and a great singer will know how to compensate for changes in their voice. This man is an inspiration.
This video brought me to tears... As an ftm trans opera singer myself I have been extremely upset at the thought I may have to give up one of the only things that I believe I am good at in exchange for feeling comfortable in my own body. This showed me that there is still hope for me amid all the horror stories to continue my operatic journey and still transition.
Did you manage to drop to a tenor?
Please let me know how it went! I am like you but too afraid of testosterone…
@@mobilesprout8457 I understand your fear of losing your singing voice on testosterone. However, I recommend you start off at a very small dose. Keep singing on testosterone. It’s a lot like male puberty. You’ll most likely become a tenor.
He did as he hoped he would - he definitely has given people hope. I sure as hell hope I can keep singing.
As a trans guy who started T recently due to extreme dysphoria, this, I can't describe it.
All my life, I've been kinda put down for my voice. I sing, naturally, with a lot of vibrato, and I've always had a strong bold voice, despite my personality being quite the opposite at times. Only times it's really really shaky is when I get nervous and my jaw chatters like crazy and my body's all tingly and it's not something I can control. But, main thing, I have memories of early elementary of being bullied, of "dress as what you wanna be when you grow up day" and I came in a rock-esque crop top with a tank underneath to accent, and floofed by hair by brushing it backwards, and hairspray, and I had the whole look. I was going as a rock star, cause singing and music was genuinely my passion, nothing made me happier. On the bus, I can't remember if it was to or from school, an upperclassman heard me singing. Admittedly, I was annoying, but I was also very young, think 3rd grade ish, and the person turned around in their seat, and literally screamed at me that my voice was awful and that I needed to shut up and something about how no one wanted to hear it.
Now, that's understandable as a one time incident, but this happened constantly. Even so-called friends telling me my voice was bad or taking in breaths sharply. I was trying so hard and everyone seemed more annoyed with my presence and voice and it felt like it was useless.
I gave up on that dream for a really long time.
I gave up on a lot of dreams due to criticism and constantly being put down by those I was desperate for praise from, and I struggle with self esteem issues and self doubting. Hell, I struggle to trust my own self with basic activities or actions without worrying of how I'll ruin it, and I literally believed I was cursed to destroy everything I touched, from friends/family/relationships to hobbies and things I cared about, starting from around 11-12, to about 16. It was only at 16, after probably stopping being super proud of my confidence and voice at like 8~, aka around 3rd grade, out of shame, and eventually getting to the point, from constant belittling from a choir teacher and dehumanization and excessive trauma, where I literally refused to sing if the music in the car wasn't louder than my voice, and I'd only ever mumble it. To the point my family would try to turn down the radio or mention how it was nice to hear me sing, and I'd just hide my face in shame.
It's kinda emotional talking about it, because I never stopped loving music or singing, I just stopped feeling worthy of it. It seemed my effort didn't matter, my care and passion didn't matter, I was just shit to everyone I knew, and it was so engrained that I genuinely couldn't believe that my voice had any redeeming qualities when people did compliment me. It was a vicious cycle. I did have a few years where I did online singing groups, but I rarely felt great about my voice, not my real one, I liked the characters I could play or imitate. I still have a good range of voices I can do, although I dunno how good they really are tbh. Finally at 16 though, I just, I could sing around people and not feel as much shame. I think part of it was the confidence of socially transitioning, singing just felt okay ish. It was probably also due to supportive people across all those years who were trying to slowly help me break free and sing again, and finally, away from a lot of the hate and comments for a few years, minus a few cruel retorts, I kinda felt better about myself? I was accepting my actual range instead of trying to sing higher, and I stopped caring about what people thought as much. And I got more compliments, and I just felt better. I felt like being myself was allowed.
Honestly, I'm 17, almost 18, and T is a little scary, but extremely necessary for me. It's natural to have a bit of fear, but I'm confident enough in who I am and who I'm meant to be. I may never gain my passion for writing back, or my passion for singing back to the same degree, but they are there and slowly recovering from a lot of my traumas and just internalized abuse and self-loathing.
Although T is something I need, I have most certainly had extreme fear of losing my voice again. I've worked so hard, from even being a toddler and singing and laughing and generally having fun, hell I remember one of my first little songs I'd repeat constantly as a tot, it's just something that took me so long to feel okay with and to get to a point where I don't feel terrible about it, and I do have a lot of fear about losing that. About starting from scratch again. I know that a lot of my voice is in falsetto and my head voice, and although I definitely can and do sing in a much lower register in my chest voice, it's not something I've ever been confident in, as in fact, that range and register and chest voice has been insulted, to my face, by people I was seeking for gentle critiques. Instead they laughed and interrupted me to tell me to stop.
It's scary, knowing you kinda have to relearn a different type of voice in a way, and especially after finally accepting a more alto-mezzo soprano range. I used to basically train my voice higher even though it was always described as sounding like I had little control over it, despite me in fact having a lot of control, and could hit insane notes like phantom of the opera. People say it sounded strained. It didn't hurt or strain, but I guess it just sounded like it. I could hardly sing low at all. After accepting my more natural voice, I've lost a lot of that range, but can sing much lower. I guess I feel more comfortable with that, but it's just scary. It's a passion I've had for so long that I finally feel tolerant of my ability in, and it could go away.
This video means a lot as someone who needs T, despite the fear, but still can literally burst into tears from the anxiety and fear of knowing I will lose something that I've fought with and hated myself over for years, after only just coming to allow myself to be okay with it.
I know I'll manage, but knowing my voice might not be as much of a lost cause is greatly relieving. Thank you.
I'm just crying. I'm ftm and musicals are my hole life. I was really scared for my singing voice, so didn't do transition. But now you show me that my voice may be okay. There is no 100% that it will be like I want, but you gave me a hope. Thank you so much. Crying
Sorry for my English
"Testosterone deteriorating your voice" is like saying a man, trans or not, can't sing opera just because his voice is low. It's bullshit! Just goes to show you can be trans and still sing like a boss.
Nerdicaful it actually does deteriorate your voice, if you get used to singing in a certain range, the sudden change in voice completely manipulates your ability to sing at notes you were once able to reach making a strain on your voice if you continue to try to hit the notes you can’t hit anymore. I was born female and was the lowest Alto my choir had ever seen, I technically qualified as a tenor given my range because of my genetics (all the girls born from my dad except for my littlest sister have lower voices than the “average” girls) and now having been on T for 11 weeks my voice is dropping down to bass notes that I would have never thought I could hit in my life but I can’t sing in my alto range at all, my voice breaks and shakes from the straining and I can barley get decent bass notes out but I’m practicing and am trying to retrain my singing voice
What if you didn't know how to sing before but you learn how after taking t? Idk.. to me it seems like your voice doesnt actually deteriorate but instead you have a new range. For me... thats what I want.
@@alexdavis6578 well it didn't deteriorate my voice when i was going through puberty. i just had to learn to sing again, but now, my voice is better than ever
At first I thought what a shame to loose such a rich mezzo voice, then I heard the tenor and thought ok then, not such a shame ;)
Regardless of singing voice, it's never a shame to see a person transitioning when they need to 💜
I am a fourth year musical theatre student, doing my Licentiate next year, and I have been wanting to take T, but been so scared about losing my (not to brag) amazing singing voice (among other things, such as my hair and small waistline.. and what's left of my mental stability) to feel comfortable, even if it's just a little bit. I'm glad to see that there is hope; thank you.
Title: "trans opera singer who went from soprano to tenor"
Actual person: "I identified as a mezzo soprano and that was very important to me"
You give me courage and hope to try for roles as a soprano...I'm a trans femme
I believe in you! Keep working on it and don't stress your voice too much ✨
Marcio Cunha problem?
@Marcio Cunha Why are you even watching a video like this when you're transphobic? Get out, and take your hate with you.
@W W why
Darling im a trans girl and a singer and usually sing between contraalto and mezzo. If i can do it you can do it for sure!!
This is great! Thanks, Holden, for being an example of positivity and hope for other trans singers out there.
I used to do a lot of theatre in high school and especially loved musical theatre, and one of the only things I was worried about in terms of starting T was whether or not I'd be able to sing (I'd heard a lot of the same misguided "it'll ruin your voice" warnings.) But I've been on T for about 7 years now, and I think I'm actually a better singer now than I used to be, and I also have a much larger range than I did before! A lot of it is due to the fact that I've paid much more attention to actually working on my voice than I did before, and I also know more about music and vocal technique now. I will say that there were a few months right after starting T where my voice was dropping more dramatically and it was a lot harder to sing, but over the years it started to even out. I sung in choirs all through college (in the bass section), and was doing pretty well singing down low, but was still having trouble figuring out the higher end of my range. I was having trouble working up the confidence to audition for musicals again, though, but I missed theatre so much, and so finally, somewhat on a whim, near the end of my senior year of college I auditioned for a community theatre production of the rock opera "The Who's Tommy". I figured I'd be lucky to even get a part in the chorus, but somehow I ended up getting cast as the oldest "Tommy"! It's a tenor role, and I was not a tenor, so I actually ended up taking voice lessons while rehearsing for that show, which was super helpful, and also helped me learn that I do in fact have a bigger range than I initially thought! (My vocal coach at the time said he'd classify me as a "baritone with an upper extension.") Anyway, fast forward to this summer, and I just finished playing Woody Guthrie a few months ago in my first ever paid, professional musical production! (Given the times, I just feel like I should add that we were all vaccinated in the cast and crew, and it was also an outdoor production in a park, to be extra COVID-safe.) Anyway, sorry for such a long comment, but I'm seeing a lot of other trans folks in the comments expressing similar experiences and feelings of concern about still being able to sing after starting hormones, so I just wanted to add another example here letting people know that it is indeed possible! If you love it enough, and if you continue to work hard at it, you can totally do it!!! Wishing light and good vibes to everyone reading this, and break a leg on all your musical/performance endeavors!!! You got this!!!
As as transgender woman who is a singer still it can be very hard with finding the right vocal range but may I say he has an amazing voice
Hi im a trans girl and singer too!! Can we be friends?
I’m a tenor too. I’m just discovering my falsetto voice. After I started taking testosterone, I slowly dropped to a tenor.
When I told my partner I was considering taking T so my voice would be what I’ve always wanted (alto, nonbinary) their only concern was that I would stop singing because they know how much it means to me. This…..this gives me so much hope.
What would you think about reviving castrato roles for trans men who are still okay with singing their soprano range? I think it would be good for reviving a large portion of baroque repertoire, but I worry it would lead to typecasting and lead to some trans men never undergoing hrt?
it's great! i wish you to be lucky! i'm from Russia, i was a castrato-soprano singer in choir. now i'm taking testosterone and soon i hope to become a tenor or baritone.
This is amazing. I had never wondered about this possibility (a trans opera singer), but it's great and this man is living proof of the malleability and endurance of the human voice. Music geeks rejoice!!
P.S. I wonder whether M-T-F trans folks who sing can hope for this. But I don't think so since their register seems to stay on the lower side if they began their transition postpuberty.
I'm sure that MTF trans could eventually sing alto or even soprano if they train hard enough
I'm mtf and a tenor. I couldn't reasonably sing soprano comfortably, but I did sing alto in choir. Alto and tenor aren't that far apart anyway. Many contraltos sing in a lower register than me and I have a higher voice than my mum, who's quite butch haha. I usually just call myself a mid-range singer; my voice isn't particularly high or low, it's smack in the middle between the two extremes of bass twos and soprano ones.
yeah singing along with mariah carey is quite comfy for me :) or someone like Jess Glynne @Gillian Louise Omotoso
yeah ^_^ @Gillian Louise Omotoso
Not quite sure it's a total victory; the mezzo voice sounded a lot nicer in my opinion. Most guys with a little training can happily sing alto or even 2nd soprano; it's much easier than a female or ftm developing the chest voice
I’ve had the same problem trying to find other transgender ftm opera singers. He’s the only one I’ve found here, but I’m sure more exist. I had to stop my opera training because of my mental and physical health and now that I’m on testosterone I really want to train myself again. Opera is still so important to me and I hope I can develop into a decent tenor.
You can do it!
Thank you for doing what you do man, being a transgender male who is a singer this stuff is so important to me. Again thank you so much because it’s so hard to genuinely find resources like this for people like me and it’s great that you exist and do what you do
This man is truly inspirational. It gives me hope for my transition and singing career, if he reads this I hope he knows he’s made my choices a lot less scary.
In high school I sung in a very small tenor section (only 3 including myself). It was me (Lead tenor) as well as two women, one trans woman, one cisgender woman, each of whom had incredibly beautiful voices. Even though there were only three of us we were the (tastefully) most vocally powerful section in the choir and I was happy to lead them. It was an incredible experience. I miss high school choir.
this man is such an inspiration! i’m also trans and i love singing, i’m a freshmen in high school but my dream is to become an opera singer
I thought it is like normal voicebreaking, of course you have to train again after that, but you gain of that, what you have learned before, so you don´t have to start from beginning.
I think there are many trans people who also sing very good after transitioning.
A search for "transposition" produces this upload at the top of the hit list.
Omg this is great!!! I am an ftm opera singer as well, and im so scared of losing my voice when i start transitioning. Thank you so much for giving me hope. You are just wonderful.
You have no idea how my hope This gives me :,) that I can keep singing and be happy one day as a man
okay i'm fourteen and i've known i'm ftm for five years and recently became interested in singing. however i originally thought i had to choose between these two. and i knew no matter what i would rather take T. and then this dude got his cake AND ate it!!! i think i can maybe do it too what the heck!! thank you so much
I’m still contemplating whether I want to be on t or not. I wish I could keep my current voice and gain the physical appearance from testosterone. May sound weird, but I like being a soprano and I don’t want to lose the voice I have now.
What dose did you use? I am going to start to and am a professional singer and would like to transition safely
Beautiful voice before transition, beautiful voice after transition. Proper job ❤️
These people are sooo brave💐
Thank you for sharing this story. Thank you Holden.
great transition and nice tenor... FtM are luckier for voice issues because testosterone helps.. I am MtF with voice surgery but can't sing well (I was baryton before)
I’m pretty excited to say I went from an alto to a baritone in only 4 months, I’m hoping to get lower but I’m more than happy with my current range if I don’t
Thank you for being visible!
That’s so inspirational!
This is amazing...I'm mtf and always wanted to do sing opera♡ this really inspires me♡
This was so inspiring and helpful to me, thank you
This is a classical tenor. I’m a contemporary tenor.
I'm not an opera singer but love singing more than anything, it makes my life bearable. I have a fairly high vocal range and think I'm pretty good. I'm worried that once I start testosterone my ability to sing will just go away, its terrifying
This gave me hope...thank you!!
🤩🥲 I haven't sung publically since I was a child, but want to help break the stereotype that makes others like me afraid to sing.
I’m also a tenor, but a contemporary tenor.
As a ftm soprano, do you think it's likely that I will be a tenor after testosterone?
70% don´t loss hope!
Practice is the key.
I'm an FTM who was originally a high soprano before testosterone. I'm currently 2 years on testosterone and can comfortably hit an E2, which makes me a bass. Many trans men are tenors after taking T but definitely not all!
Learn your voice, and check your range every month to see which notes you've gained/lost. Practice lots of Schubert. I cannot stress how good his songs are for developing technique.
It’s an exciting new field in vocal pedagogy, and there some people out there who are specializing in post hormonal transition voices.
The assumption is yes, XX chromosome voices after T will likely be more comfortable in the tenor range because of the size of the vocal cords, but no one really knows for sure.
I hope you’ve found someone to work with you in the 3 years since you’ve posted this and that all is well with your voice and that you’re singing the way that you want to be singing and in the repertoire you best identify.
Are baritone and bass transguys rare? The vast majority end up tenors after hrt
I guess they are rare but they do exist ^^
I'm a bass trans guy! I also know of a few FTM baritones.
I think that'll depend on genetics in a way, I'm about a month and a half on T and went from a soprano to a tenor range already (my voice is changing faster than most, I know), so I think I'm going to end up as a baritone in the end.
@@arinetic5538 Oh my gosh, what voice part were you before?
@@soupsoup4245 I didnt test my exact ranges much before but I almost guarantee that I was a soprano. that being said, i started hormones at 16 and my voice was definitely not matured and still isn't at 19. so it's possible that I may have developed more into a mezzo if I didn't take hormones.
"...that if you start testosterone: your voice will deteriorate, your range will be reduced, the quality of your voice will deteriorate..."
He said it himself and sadly this is already evident in his singing. The vocal folds are not closing properly and thus the sound is somewhat muddy and horse. If he continues like this I suspect he won't have a voice left in 10 or so years.
Singing opera requires your voice to essentially be functioning at near 100% efficiency (due to not using microphones in large spaces). The research into how huge doses of hormones affects the voice is pretty solid, it's a great shame and he has my utmost sympathy but it's just not viable.
I thought I was the only one who thought his post-T voice sounded weird and unnatural
Fellow pre-t trans guys-if you can’t go on T because you’re a minor (w/ unsupportive parents) or don’t have access to it in your country, it’s STILL possible to drop your voice with voice training. I was an alto last year, and after months of vocal training I’ve dropped to a comfortable tenor! My speaking voice isn’t totally there yet but I’ve made SO MUCH progress in just a few months and you can too. There’s always hope
❤️❤️❤️
Beautiful
He should sing YMA sUMAC SONGS
Very good ;))
am happy for him that he feels good. But his voice "Technique" is terrible and he has so much tension in his voice, he cannot really sing with it
Simply dreadful as a mezzo and/or as a tenor
he'll turn back in a few years if statistics are correct,I do find the subject fascinating and I was wondering if humans are the only spices that decided they "feel" like they are in the wrong genders body
What statistics are yOU looking at 😂
You're incredibly ignorant
@Cassandra Real talk,I found out those statistics are incorrect.
My bad for spreading fake news!
@@PaulBadman I'm glad you corrected yourself. That's a common falsehood spread, but one that I understand not everyone knows is indeed false.
As for the species question, that is due to humans being the only creatures with conscious thought that we know of, and a way of expressing said identity. We don't see identities in general or dilemmas of identity in many other species, as they do, admittedly, not have the same level of sentience, intelligence, and/or conscious thought that we do. That is not to say they are inferior, just different. We evolved to be very large-brained. We grew a larger concept of emotion, socializing, thought, theory, science, feelings in general.
If it's any consolation, the closest thing I've seen in animals in person has been my female cat who twitches her tail near things as if she's trying to spray things, and showing typical male behaviors like levels of aggression and such. She's spayed, but when she wasn't, I admittedly have never seen a cat so miserable, she constantly looked like she was gonna cry or eat our faces. And she rubbed against us a lot, not that we would allow it.
However, the conscious thought reasoning has been the only real logical reason people have used. I am not here to claim it's true or not, that's just my understanding. I mean, animals don't have general expressions via sense of style or gender expression. I've known I was goth or punk since I was very young, but wasn't able to express it.
Hope that helps with information. If you have any questions, please ask them politely, as respect is a two way street, however I am happy to answer if I am able. :)
Poor woman, her voice got damaged and she looks very sad and small
for trans men worried about the quality of their voices on t, look up clem turner!! he's a trans man with an absolutely breathtaking singing voice. goals tbh
I am a fourth year musical theatre student, doing my Licentiate next year, and I have been wanting to take T, but been so scared about losing my (not to brag) amazing singing voice (among other things, such as my hair and small waistline.. and what's left of my mental stability) to feel comfortable, even if it's just a little bit. I'm glad to see that there is hope; thank you.