What Every Therapy Client Should Know 02 - Threat and Responses

In this video, I'll share what we are programmed to do when we sense a threat.
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*** A full transcript can be found at www.marblejar.net. ***
Hi, everyone. This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the second video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know. The first 3 videos in this series I call my “TED Talk” -- every single one of my clients will hear this little speech from me eventually. It helps to frame my philosophy about therapy, emotions, and the nervous system and gives us a common vocabulary for our work together.
In the last video, we talked about the nervous system, the hand model of the brain, and what happens to our brains when we sense a threat.
Physical Threat = Psychological Threat
But the thing is -- our brains and our nervous system -- can't really tell the difference between a physical threat and an emotional or a psychological threat. Here are some examples of emotional threats:
Being reprimanded by your boss
Not getting an invitation to a party
Having a loved one betray you
Being called ugly by someone online
Your nervous system is going to react exactly the same to those threats as if you were being chased by a tiger. And for good reason! Sure -- human beings are universally considered to be at the top of the food chain, but that is certainly not because of our physical gifts. Physically, we are somewhere above rabbits and below grizzly bears. We don't have fangs, armor, or wings, and we can't run that fast. Instead, we have clawed our way up to the top through a combination of our big brains -- and all the tools and weaponry that come with that -- and our ability to cooperate in large groups. Human beings are physically puny and vulnerable -- particularly at birth -- so our survival depends on other human beings to protect us. And because of this, connection to others IS an innate human survival mechanism. When this connection is threatened, through relationship betrayal, rejection, or shame -- our survival responses kick in. Our nervous system doesn't care whether it's a threat to our physical safety or to our emotional safety -- it views each as a threat to survival and it’s going to respond the same to either one.
Threat Response Order of Operations
Here’s how I think we are programmed to respond to threats -- or the threat order of operations. This is my own best guess, but it is backed up by findings in Polyvagal and Attachment theory. Just keep in mind that all of this is a massive simplification and our bodies are highly complicated, but for the most part, I think this is the way it works for a physical threat and I can show you on the hand model of the brain.
Rest and digest - so here we are, walking along with our nervous system calm in rest and digest. And let's say, we see that rattlesnake. Okay -- if we are with a friend, or there are people close by, our first instinct is to
Connect - reach for that other person or yell for help. I link connection with the human brain since social behavior is largely found there. We want to get protection from our group and borrow some nervous system stability from our friend or from those around us. Our nervous system is gearing up at this point and if there is no one around or we are not getting the help we need, we then go into
Fight or Flight - which I link to the mammal part of our brain. Now our sympathetic nervous system has fully kicked in. Remember what that does? It amps us up and gets us ready to take action of some kind -- either by running away or by going to battle with this rattlesnake. IF after all of this, we find that we are not able to escape or don't have a way to fight back, we're going to go into
Freeze - which I link to the reptile brain. That physiological response is to turn on the parasympathetic nervous system full blast, which serves to shut everything down. This is the equivalent of "playing possum." Our system is thinking maybe, if we are extremely still and quiet, the rattlesnake won't see us as a threat and will leave us alone.
So calm, to connect, to fight/flight, to freeze. We try to use our fancy, new survival mechanisms first and as they fail us we opt for more basic, primitive ways to survive. Okay -- now let's do an emotional threat:
Rest and digest - Say we are sitting calmly in a meeting and, all of a sudden, our boss says a bunch of terrible, insulting things about us in front of all of our colleagues. Okay -- nervous system is starting to ramp up, but the first thing we are programmed to do is:

[@Amazativity]

This is easily the most eye opening video I have ever seen. It explains my own behaviours perfectly. I’m an introvert. My brain goes to flight & freeze.
Thank you for sharing!