How Narcissistic Abuse Destroys Your Memory
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
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Michelle, I'm 67 yrs old & have followed you for 8 yrs. You are one of the best teachers around. Thank you for all you do for us! ❤️😊
I hope you are healing.
She explains why I have trouble remembering names at times.
I agree, her style on this subject is really making a difference for people.
@@Shadowman...Why do you feel that?
@@ceterisparibus8966 Because she deals with the subconscious mind a lot in her videos. Most narcissists are in a constant state of wanting to invalidate you and make you feel worthless. If this is done in a really subtle way ~The conscious mind things its not that bad~But the effects have lasting damage to the subconscious. Most channels don't touch on this.
They not only like to keep you in a state of fear and anxiety, but they also like to keep you in a state of *self doubt*
yes exactly - so they then become your compass which only keeps you spinning in the crazy!
Sometimes they drive you to want too..."self check out" yourself. Can't say the word because YT will delete it.
I'm 31. My 8th grade year. Lets say I wasn't doing so well in school, I was being bullied and etc etc. Mom told me an bunch of hurtful stuff.
"Why can't you born to be smart like everybody else? Why can't you be born to be stupid so I can apply you for SSI money. You're not smart, you're not average and not stupid enough. If I known you were like this I would of aborted you, stomp your head in when you were a baby or toss you in the garbage". Sometime she will tell me to "follow my dad" and sometime Mom will toss in.."Even if you KYS you're worth no more than pig and a chicken. The law will just determine that you're depress or mental". (The old man was killed in 2007. Also I had to change some of the wording and make up some wording to get around YT's auto delete).
They also want to make you "self check out". After that they say that YOU'RE THE MENTAL ONE.
I had similar profile picture before.
yes very very bad for health!!!!
I had severe social anxiety years ago-flat out could not walk into a store. My therapist told me it was because of all the years of endless critical comments from my narcissistic family. She saved me,and I owe her everything for opening my eyes to the truth.
I'm sorry. I understand you. It is tough. I'm glad you found someone who could help you. I found Tim Fletcher's videos on RUclips on complex trauma, shame etc very helpful. Sending LOVE to you💖💖💖
Omg, I just had another outburst today. Like you said I don't need much to snap on him and afterwards I'm wondering "he didn't do anything now or today, why I'm acting like this"? I don't have patience anymore, I'm short temper. The worst thing is that I'm thinking that I'm the narcissist 😢
Thank you Michele ❤
You are not!!!!
@@Bintang221 thank you🤗. I hope I'm not but there are days I'm so upset with myself (like today) .
@@ane9376 Anetta...don't you realize that you shouldn't be feeling like this if you were in a healthy relationship? Why do you keep putting up with all this? Are you married? Have you got kids together? If not....run!!!
Snapping is part of the syndrome. I was given medication for it
@@Bintang221 that's what I'm thinking every day! I'm not married to him, we don't have kids together. He lives in my house. I feel like I'm a prisoner of my own mind. It's so DIFFICULT.
Glad you mentioned about the cycle~ I believe this is exactly why it took so many years for people to figure this stuff out. Narcissists have a very long drawn out abuse cycle that isn't always easy to breakdown on paper. Finally we are exposing them and people are finally healing and getting there power back.
💖💖💖
Very well said
It causes dissociative amnesia.
Is this when you feel like you are separate from your body but aware of 99% of what is going on around you?
@@suzannebstevens It overlaps with depersonalization.
@@suzannebstevensSimilar to cannabis intoxication.
@@globalvillage423 I don't have experience with that.
@@globalvillage423 ok thanks.
I was in a long term relationship with a covert narcissist. (35 years)
I got so bad - I could not read a sentence and remember.
when did you realize you were in this toxic relationship?
😳 OMG…. Michele, you just described me, & how I feel almost perfectly! My first ex-wife, I now understand, was a “vulnerable narcissist”. My second ex-wife was an extremely nasty narcissist. Between the two of them I’ve lost nearly everything - my house, financially, emotionally, and so on. I didn’t even know what a narcissist was at that time. Recently I had a job where the boss/owner of the business was so similar to my second wife’s nature, it was dumbfounding. I finally got a new job a few months ago. The stress relief was profound, but for nearly 30 years I have been, off and on dealing with these horrible people so now I have found that I’m pretty much a high functioning agoraphobic. I don’t like going out anywhere there will be many people, I have reduced my circle friends on purpose (more like an arc than a circle). My memory is terrible, which does make learning new things extremely difficult, I can get quite emotional and at times I have quite a short temper. I was starting to think I was getting early onset dementia 😢.
Sorry for the length of this message.
Thank you SO much for this video! It has taken a very big weight off me 😊
Same, I hope you get better like I did in Michele's help, I think Michele is genius.🎉
I have no full memories good or bad from my entire life. Once in a while I get a snippet like a still photograph. I know general information about my life for example where I went to high school, the people in my life over the years, some of my accomplishments and I have a few memories of traumatic events but the memories aren't complete. It's more like looking at somebody else's life there's no emotion or connection attached. This was helpful, and it makes perfect sense. Thank you for this insight
Same....
@Bintang221 isn't it kind of like you don't really exist... like you're walking through the world as an invisible Observer? I'm real sorry for all those like us. I wish you good things in the rest of your life
So true! It keeps baffling people that I don't know simple things about my own life ... how long have I lived here? "Do you remember when we ..."? What did I do in the year of .... ? Or even "what did you do this weekend" is still sometimes just a blank. One of the fabulous changes after I decided to leave them all earlier this year, is that my memory is returning little by little. I love it! I remembered all the words in the right order (although I "cheated" - I quickly made each list into a quirky (mnemonic) pic in my mind, which is a great way to remember things). If I start meditating and excercising, maybe by the end of the year my memory will be even better. Would be great!
Yep. I am your twin. In the good memory before the Narc. and the barely existing memory after him.
This whole thing made me cry and of course I failed the test. I have autoimmune disorders now as well. 🙏🙏💕
@Silence_between_waves I have a small amount of vitiligo since a small child on my leg, but I now have fibromyalgia first, than they discovered systemic lupus, and a gynecological condition called LS a thats autoimmune. I have also acquired a movement disorder the neurologist thinks is from stress and when I say my memory is awful I am NOT over exaggerating it! It’s depressing and stressful! I also have dealt with anxiety and panic attacks in the last maybe 15 years. I have been with my husband since I was out of high school and I’m now 52( until October). I can relate to the egg shell thing because I constantly feel like I’m walking on them and in fact I say that all the time🙏 ….I’ve been listening to Dr. Brooke Goldener on the lupus protocol if you haven’t heard of that one…it is vegan…I pray you get all the answers you need as well as every woman on here going through this nightmare🙏
I am a 73 year old woman who just signed up for the School of Transformation. 6 out of 10 words 1st 5 in order skip to last word.
Sooo excited to have you joining our live meetings!!! And wow - that's actually pretty impressive!!
And all the time I thought I was only getting older! Can read a book and not recall a single thing. It is so sad.
There's a laugh by ex would do, that sounded so fake and meant to poke fun at whatever it was, i was saying.
Your depth of knowledge feels so therapeutic in a way☺️ your like a natural therapist how you soften a harsh topic! Only if you lived next door lol
Thanks to you and the sessions I had my memory is so much better… I went through all the things you just spoke about in this video. thank you.
How did you get sessions with Michele?
@@MoulikaMorou-t5ushe gives that info at the end of the video and it’s Probly in the description box also
Really is there hope ? Please answer
This describes me so well. I need to get a new life away from my narcissistic partner. Then get to healing ❤
I had extreme neck muscle lockups and fibro + psoriasis. I ended all contact with my brother and my ex and i am 97% better.
I believe my father is a narcissist and my ex significant other is certainly a narcissist.
I realize this sounds like hyperbole, but I feel like one of those double survivors of both Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bombs.
I once had a fantastic memory. I mourn its loss.
What an amazing explanation video, Michele! I loved the comparison that you made with the librarian! Sadly, I'm having some memory issues as well. I believe they are due to my daily interactions with a co-worker who seems to be a covert narcissist. It's very hard to have to deal with her shenanigans while I'm trying to heal from past narcissistic relationships. 😞
5 years after leaving I'm still dealing with this - i got 8 in the correct order - missed 2 (#'s 6&7) - also I still can not read a book - is that normal? I used to really enjoy reading and now i can not concentrate enough to read even a few pages - i keep trying but nothing yet - any tips? thank you!
I thank you so much for this video, I’ve been waiting to hear those inspiring, nurturing and uplifting words, all that you have said in this video related to me 100% , constant rumination, short memory, I even asked myself if I was not the problem or the covert narcissist before this session, now I already feel better, it’s such a big relief to know that I’m not the problem and alone on this journey of recovering from narcissistic abuse… till now my system feels sometimes I want her back even though I I know deep inside she’s not good for me.
Wow! This is something i was wondering about.
I recently realized that i can remember what I read. I used to love to read and for years coupdnt remember what I read. The covert i was married too constantly insulted me passive aggressively. I don’t understand, some like you wouldnt get it etc. insult me that I dont read etc. she get me books from the library but when I would sit down to read, would always come up with things i needed to get done. I constantly felt like charlie brown and lucy with the football.
Thank you for this video!
Michelle, I completely agree! I’m a teacher by profession, and you are just extraordinary at what you do for all of us survivors.
I was bullied in high school for 2 years straight and that deeply errored my ability to create and recall memories. I want my memory recall back. I'm going to work hard at it!!!!
Thank you Michelle I'm watching from France and you are the best on the subject ❤
Thank you! 😃 So glad you enjoy my content!
I matched only 6 out of 10 from your test... I think I also have this Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome... and I cannot get over it... I was love bombed and then discarded. I also noticed some phases, once it was going well and other time it went horrible... It ends in me discarded away and I cannot even work properly.
Me too. Two narcissistic parents - only grew up with one of them, glad they split up when I was little. Then 2 emotionally stunted, narcissistic spouses. When I got the last one got outta my life, it felt like my intelligence and memory grew exponentially. I’m 63 and grateful that we can all keep growing
The mind is a beautiful thing… it get put to the test when subjected to the Cluster B Circus Clown.
Thank you for your channel.
I've watched a few if your videos regarding coverts. My word, you describe my experiences with such precision it is scary. ❤ 27 years together with 2 kids. Only discovered the term/label/traits a few weeks ago and my world is upside down.
Hello Michele. You're simply the best, better than all the rest !!!!!!!! Keep up the great work in helping others with NPD!!!!!! Thats why I'm single and loving it.... I'm taking care of SELF and don't have any room for BS and unnecessary drama and stress.
bhu, I got 4 right out of 10, 1 word that was not on the list, and one of the list, that was not in the correct column... My hippocampus must be really small...
I missed money, paper and the very last one.
That's actually really good!!
I remembered seven words, not in order ☺
This very practical video was so relevant for me. Thanks ☺️
This is exactly what is happening 💯‼️You are giving us SO much hope!! 🙏
Thank You! Michele
I only rembered 5 things
I am struggling with no short term memory from 11 years with my narc ex husband. I left him about 4.5 years ago but it's getting worse. I asked my doctor about checking my cortisol levels but she said I don't have signs of Cushing's so there is no need. High levels of cortisol= Cushing's. So what is going on then? If my cortisol is/was so high, shouldn't I have or have had Cushing's?
Michelle, I have to agree with you on everything in here like always. I literally feel like Dori and I had a fantastic memory. I could remember my address from six years old my phone number my friends birthdates and now I can’t go to the kitchen to get something and remember what the hell I’m trying to get And waste so much of my life and time. You are also 1000% correct when you say I feel like the victim watches these videos to keep themselves grounded. That is true. I do because I’m trying to figure out how to navigate through this and I’m doing all of this while being abused by the narc tough spot. I have to leave comments as I watch videos because I will not remember what I want to say hell I will forget while I’m typing it, it will be in my brain. I feel dizzy a lot and I believe it’s because of that swollen muscle. It literally feels like it is in the middle of my brain. This comment sounds like a rant to me, but it all makes sense. I’m just trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do because I have a narc for a husband and he has a super empath for a wife so I’m gonna feel bad if I leave him and I’m gonna feel bad if I stay and that’s the only thing I cry about anymore, all the rest of it just makes me angry because how dare you do this to somebody you say you love who gets up every day just to hurt the person that they say they love. SMH I don’t understand
I remembered all 10 but not quickly enough
that's impressive!!!!!
OMG I’m sorry this is what I’m talking about so I just watched the next part how when we figure it out, they stop it for a little bit so we stop watching the videos and he’s done this before this time I’m not stopping expresses he expresses a lot of anger that I watched the videos, he huff and puffs he storms off. He gets angry. Don’t care for one. You probably need to know. I need to heal and I’m not gonna stay in the state of mind. I am not doing it because you want me to be here or hurt no. I have literally told him so many times and this was before I knew what was going on. You are slowly killing me. I feel it internally.
Is there a way to heal from it pleaaase ans
It begins with self-education.
I got 7 words out of 10. But my memory is not good. My husband (not the narc) has to retell me things he just told me the day before. And i usuallyl cannot remember them even after he tells me them a second, third, fourth time. I have been trsted for alzheimer's and the dr said i don't have it. I even struggle with thanking of words to say when im talking to someone. I just forgot the work Alzheimer's while i was typing this comment.
I do even feel like not having much contact with family members either cause they have broken me so much but my sister has my daughter so Im trying to get rid of dept so I can take my girl and move away. And start a new life somewhere else. But its like my Twinflame is telling me to meet all with love so I will have my dream life soon, one day. I even think my sister and her family have big time mental issues all of them. So I do need to get away from here. And start a new life over another place another country maybe.
I think my hippocampus is overall okay.
My amygdala on the other hand might fry an EEG machine.
I thought my memory of my whole life was blocked (sure I could remember somethings and sometimes a lot of things but a lot is missing even present and recent time some of it) due to my sexual trauma. I see it could also be this relationship I have been in for nearly 35 years. I did not do very well with the memory test. I remember when I was a child or young adult I could remember whole commercials and repeat them and things similar to that. I was never a good test taker though. Now I remember my passion in health, however, I can never repeat it so my husband would learn from what I learned. I realized I am married to a narcissist a couple of years ago as I have been healing through diet and some emotional release. I have done more emotional release during this past year and see my shift to a better state and what my partner is really like. It is hard. Listening to other of your videos I realize I have done a ton of negative self talk about me and my situation. The wake up talk is hard and I am trying to stop that and use the skillsI have been taught with the gal that has released my stuck emotions.
Your videos have been very helpful, Michelle. I also watch Jay Reid. You're very pretty also. Thanks for the videos.
Test results: I only remembered the words 1,2, 3, and 5,
Can you heal from narcissistic abuse while with the narcissist?
9 but not in order
That's really good!!!
I remembered 8: paper, grass, scissors, money, baby, balloon, truck, chair… in that order. I forgot island & computer. My memory did best at the beginning & end, the middle was not so good.
I wish a single xanny bar lasted 4 years instead of 4 hours
My brother is a narcissist and a alcoholic bad combination.
What were the dietary changes that you made that helped?
I remembered 4 words and they were not in the right order
I got 2 in order and then everything went downhill 😅
I have extreme trauma that is exactly from what you described. I thought i was living in a living hell. And I'm here...again
9 but some disordered. I wonder if forgetting the word ‘money’ means something…
Funny. Same here, but I forgot 'computer' word, which seems quite weird.
I wonder how many children got sabotaged this way by being constantly bullied and then had trouble learning to get good grades as children can be extremely narcissistic
Such good info. I'm doing the right things but not fully out of it yet. But I have healed some.
What if they say they are not a narcassit but everything they do says they are? Yup my short term memory is bad now. Mine was so bad, my health and memory have been wrecked, then he walks out after he destroys me and says its all my fault! Ugh I still think what if or what if that and its been 6 months
7. Not in order
Me too. Did she say what number of items indicated a problem?
@@MB-sg8dx I don't recall her saying
What to do? Please provide tips
6
Wow❤thanks🎉
*Hey Great Video. Do 1 Next On... "How Wrecking Balls Destroy Buildings." They were specifically designed and engineered to do their job too. And they do it very well.*
😢 this is me
It does
I got the first six in order but couldn’t think of the last four.
That's awesome!!!
I got 7 but 2 were in the wrong order
A very deep talk.
Very helpful info
Thank you
Divorce is an option. Healing is possible. I published my journal to help women 40+ heal forward 🙏 it’s called THE SUN ALWAYS PIERCES THROUGH ☀️
Thank you Michelle for all you do💖💖💖
You are so welcome
Aaaaahhhhhhh yes! Due to past experiences of abuse, I've encountered persistent challenges with my syntax, grammar, and spelling abilities, impacting my academic writing tasks. In addition, I've faced difficulties in formulating theses, synopses, précis, and organizing academic research projects. These challenges have led to concerns about my academic aspirations, particularly due to issues with memory and recall.
Whoah, that was all SO SPOT ON for me. Thank you Michele. Good to know it's not just me but the damage that is caused.
You have wonderful and really helpful channel, thanks Michelle. 🌞
💥💯
My ex would say " you don't like yourself cause you accomplished nothing with your life".
After I helped her through her divorce, helped raise her kids and renovated her home.
Put down and gas lit so much.
It's messed up my head.
I have been in this relationship for 17 years... I wasn't to leave but just don't know how to even start
I remembered 7 words not in order. Before the 7 yrs of close friendship with a covert narcissist I had a very good memory and during the relationship I noticed it severely affected and I thought (and the narc use to tell me) that it was probably due to the perimenopause. I later understood it was not only that.
I’m truly scared that I won’t get it back.
Saaame
@@kaoutar6921 I’m sorry. It sucks. Solidarity.
Michell: I have had years of abuse, a lifetime really.
I could never remember what I read in college.
Now I always wind up with narcissists. My psychiatrist says- unresolved childhood trauma.
The hippocampus has been stuck on for at least the last 19 years.
I have gotten away from anyone abusive.
I have learned how to play guitar and sing at the same time.
I’m trying to get my life back. It’s really hard the last one was very sophisticated. She had a PhD in psychology.
❤thank you, need to do healing on my hypocampus
Really good.
I used items in my clients home to recall the first list.
I got 2 in the second list but out of order.
I find I need items to recall stuff or run down the alphabet to remember people's names.
Firstly may I just say how much I appreciate your videos and how much they have helped me over the past 6 months.
My mother is a covert narcissist and for the past fifty years, I been suffering from her abuse and only now realise, that my personality is 80% a trauma response.
Im on a journey of finding myself and trying to heal from her toxic abuse, and your videos have literally changed my life.
As for the memory test, I rememberd 4 words. Paper, Grass, Island and Scissors.
I was also only just a few months ago diagnosed with ADHD and ADD.
Im not sure who I am or what my personality is yet, but the one thing I do know is...
I am not the mistake,
I am not the problem,
And that I am, good enough.
Thank you Michele 🤍🤍🤍