NEW LIES: Ned Fulmer is WORSE Than We Thought… Try Guys Downfall - when will it stop?
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- Опубликовано: 3 ноя 2022
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Ned Fulmer’s cheating scandal and more lies exposed more about the Try Guy wife guy then ever thought possible. There are now more lies, manipulation, coverup and more, leading to the downfall of the Try Guys as we know it is alarming. We need to talk about the manipulation and power abuse. Is Alex a victim? What about Ariel? Something doesn’t sit right in this web of lies and deflection…
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Y'all asked me to dig further, and here we are... what do you think about all this? Was the TMZ staged? Huge thank you to our sponsors:
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Ned called TMZ for sure, allegedly.
Ariel stuck with him when he quit being a chemist for a (failed) stand up comedy career. She stuck with him when he got addicted to painkillers and helped him get off them. She stuck with him when he left buzzfeed, even though she could possibly lose her health insurance while pregnant. She is intelligent and warm and talented in her own right, watch their AD house tour. She did ALL of that. I can’t imagine being that loyal to someone and they disrespect you like this. My heart hurts for her and her kids and I hope they heal.
Tbh he probably resents her for being as kind and supportive as she has been. He was always looked at as way below her league in every way and possibly enjoyed getting revenge
yeah. although i think she is the only one who can truly decide if she should forgive him or not, as a total outsider, it infuriates me that this man can put her through so much pain and public humiliation like that after all she has done for him. Ofc we will never know all the details of their relationship and what she will take in consideration when deciding to stay with him or not, but she certinly doesnt deserve to be judged, no matter the decision she makes. I will be saving my judgement and disgust for him, cause even if ariel forgives him, as a former fan,i dont have to.
She seems like a loser.
He got addicted to painkillers? Damn. Props to Ariel for sticking through all of that, when she absolutely didn't have to
Ariel is a down a$$ b!t(h and she clearly needs to find someone worthy of her efforts!
My dad cheated on my mum, and I respect the HELL out of her for leaving bc it would have been so much cheaper and easier to do nothing with three kids involved. She later said she decided partially bc she didn't want her daughters growing up thinking it was ok for your partner to disrespect you and put your health at risk. And then HE'S the one who never got over it! Like, yeah, obv there is no one better than my mum, fool!
Your mom is the 🐐
YES, this. Inside, I always envisioned I'd take this route if it happened to me for these reasons. Props to your mum
Your mom is a badass 😎
I liked how she was still trying to work out a co-parenting relationship for the kids though. It’s very traumatic for the kids if the mom acts like she hates their father, especially if it’s something that doesn’t involve them such as cheating, if he was abusive or something it would be different of course.. keep that bastard away. But if he just cheated just leave him but be cordial, you get what I mean? Many women do petty stuff like that only think of their own feelings beyond their children and I have no respect for women like that.
🙌 props to your mum 🙌
As a marriage and family therapist you would be surprised how many couples work it out after an affair and the amount of couples that try to work it out. I 100% agree that the cheater has to have the humility and capability to allow the victim time to process and regain trust. A lot of the men I've worked with get tired of their partner checking their phones, calling them to see if they are where they say they are, etc and want the victim to heal faster. It just doesn't work like that. I don't imagine Ned being able to admit he was wrong and comfort Ariel in the way needed to heal from the affair
Do any of them stop cheating?
@@jennamarie2481 Yes! Obviously not all but the idea that once a cheater always a cheater isn't true
@@emilybroadstone6683 That's reassuring. Thank you!
@@angietoonz6605 That does make sense. I'm not aware of the research on that particular aspect of it but I do know it's more likely to work out if the cheater only cheated with one person
💯
Having been cheated on before, I will not stay friends with someone willing to cheat on the person they were exclusive with. It shows an incredible level of blatant disrespect and ignorance along with betrayal and breach of trust and I would not be able to trust that person with my own trust and respect again.
THANK YOU. It’s a moral issue for me. I’m not staying friends with anyone willing to break trust like that. You can mess up someone’s ability to trust again!
🎯
@@sourgreendolly7685 It’s very traumatic for the kids if the mom acts like she hates their father, especially if it’s something that doesn’t have to involve them such as cheating. If he was abusive or something it would be different of course.. keep that bastard away. But if he just cheated just leave him but be cordial, you get what I mean? Many women do petty stuff like that ..only think of their own feelings beyond their children and I have no respect for women like that.
Yeah he broke YOUR trust, romantic-wise. Did he do anything to betray or hurt your children? Is he still a good father to them? Can you trust him around your children? Those are the questions you need to ask yourself when you get into a situation like this.
Divorce him of course, especially if she respects herself she will, but stay friends for the sake of the childrens wellbeing. That’s the wisest choice imo.
@@1rage17 you know...not only men cheat. Having a cheating parent can be devastating for a kid as well. The kids will have major trust issues growing up. ...not to mention that the parent who cheats might even rope their kids into deceiving the other parent. Kids might learn of the cheating before the other parent. Which will fuck up the kid even more. Cheating always involves the kids as well...since it's a family issue. Not just a "romantic-wise" issue.
@@1rage17 how is blowing up a marriage by cheating not betraying or hurting any children?
I had a "friend" who used to make plans with me, then cancel the plans at the last minute. She also knew someone else who shared my legal first name. One day, her husband messaged me asking if she had left my place yet and I told him she wasn't there, she'd canceled plans on me. He then apparently called the other person with the same name and his wife wasn't with them, either. Then he went looking through her things and found a letter she wrote to another man telling that man that she couldn't wait until she could leave her husband and be with him.
She used me as a cover for her affair and she didn't even try to ask me to help her do so because she knew I wouldn't. Then she had the gall to message me saying "thanks for ruining my marriage." Like... girl, you did that yourself. What did you think was going to happen? Did you really think he would never ask me or the other person where you were when he thought you were with us and you were late? You already knew I wouldn't lie for you.
So. Yeah. I agree with everyone who says they'd drop a so-called friend who cheats, because you can't trust their general character.
Why does she care about ruining her own marriage when she was going to leave anyway. Weirdo!
@@wyvernish I can only assume she wasn't actually planning on leaving, was just telling the other guy she would. She wanted her cake and to eat it, too.
“Thanks for ruining my marriage”
GIRL. At that point I would’ve gone “nah sis I ain’t gonna take credit for that, that wasn’t a team project, that was AAAAAAALL YOUUUUUUUUU, go earn your medal form your side piece” like lol. I hate people who cheat but people who use their friendships as traps to help with the cheating inadvertently and betray not just their lover’s but their friend’s trust? Hell nah, that’s a special type of Nope.
@@yukaiyami Yeah. That was... probably coming up on 20 years ago an she and I haven't spoken since and good riddance.
@@celestinenoxadly not everyone is like you. I was with someone for a bit who was cheating with his "best friend" and literally EVERYONE knew and no one told me. His parents knew... All his friends knew. Me and her didn't know but everyone else knew.
Also seen a lot of that type of thing happen a lot where everyone knows but no one says anything.
As a domestic abuse survivor of a husband who also cheated on me for months before he threw me and the kids out of our apartment and moved her into the apartment…
I can attest that everyone disappears for the victim: my church even told me to stop attending and find another church because I wasn’t allowing my ex to come to church by continuing to go to church there. Everyone that was my “friend” before I was married or while I was married completely disappeared once I filed for divorce and filed my protective order.
Oh wow, that's horrible. How are you now? Are your kids with you and well?
This happened to my best friend as well, it was a mormon church, which doesn’t handle abuse of women or children appropriately whatsoever, and at times are more concerned about the abuser (almost always a man) than his family.
That's a hard situation to go through but you are so much better off not being surrounded by fair weather friends that lack substance. I'd say God stepped in for you and removed the trash. Stay blessed.
Sending you a lot of love!!
Updates????????????
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I feel for the wife and kids. I really do. Ned just seems like such a garbage person.
Definitely hope his wife and children find healing through this
Plus Will (Alex's ex fiancé, iirc a 10 year relationship, I think the cheating started a few months after proposal as well 😔 )
@@sammy_sand_utubeyt6901 For real. They were together 10 years & she threw it away like it meant nothing. I hope this guy recovers & finds happiness again💜
It feels like Ariel was coerced by Ned into being in that papparazzi video. I just get that feeling, based on how non-chalant they seemed and how she responded. Like Ned, ever-conscious of his image, was like, "since we've decided to work things out, I need you to confirm it to the public real quick"
I would NOT be surprised
Yeah, glad I'm not the only one who sensed a weird feeling from that video. It could be that they were just nervous being seen in public together again after everything or maybe there was still some lingering anger between them, but I dunno. It just felt off.
She seemed very shocked that a paparazzi was just casually showing up. This whole thing broke the news base, and the internet. I would assume more than one random pap would be there if it was necessary.
She looked like she wasn’t expecting it which is AWFUL for her since he’s legit shoving his “wife” (because we don’t know where they stand) into answering questions she clearly was uncomfortable answering.
She clearly just wants privacy while she figures out what she wants to do with her marriage and her children, and it honestly SICKENS me if Ned set that paparazzi thing up to show that he’s still okay in his marriage.
She just wants privacy and he just wants his reputation restored. It’s very obvious who the victim is here and guess what? ITS NOT YOU NED.
Oh hella. So glad you left this comment because I agree it totally sits with me that way.
I don’t think so. I don’t think she’s just staying with him in a romantic relationship either, I believe they’re just trying to co-parent wisely.. It’s very traumatic for the kids if the mom acts like she hates their father, especially if it’s something that doesn’t have to involve them such as cheating. If he was abusive or something it would be different of course.. keep that bastard away. But if he just cheated just leave him but be cordial, you get what I mean? Many women do petty stuff like that ..only think of their own feelings beyond their children and I have no respect for women like that.
Divorce him of course, especially if she respects herself she will, but stay friends for the sake of the childrens wellbeing. That’s the wisest choice imo.
My biggest issue with John Mulaney wasn’t even him splitting with Anna Marie OR having a kid with someone else, because as sketchy as it looks there’s a small chance he didn’t cheat on his ex. What killed me was when people were saying Anna lead John to relapse on drugs and were sending her hate when she herself has documented mental health issues (an ED) and he never once asked his fans to lay off the woman he once loved and made a main part of his act.
I think you're kind of forgetting that he was never really on social media or directly interacted with his fans, I would understand this if he had more of a part in the parasocial relationship that people have with him. He relapsed, divorced, and had a child with another woman that's all we know because he's actually a private figure and so is his wife, what people who invested way too much emotional need on a couple of minutes of jokes decided actually happened is not something they could've stopped without losing their privacy. What should upset you is how people acted towards two complete strangers and how john was made to be excessively wholesome by some fans when he never really was and actually often talked about his multiple addictions, people just attached to one joke and projected so hard they were upset about the relationship ending.
The fact that you don't listen to when people speak is truly a marvel. If you are aware of some comedians many allude to the fact that most male comedians that put their wife as a pillar in their act are the ones who cheat the most.
@@ti9372 THIS. I observed this in real time, so many of his newer fans around the time he was newly married projected this "wife guy" persona onto him and ignored anything that didn't fit into the narrative they had created for him. As someone who was very familiar with his SNL sketches, which I loved, but definitely wouldn't be considered "wholesome", I saw a huge disconnect with these fans' perception of him. I also knew that he had a history of struggling with cocaine addiction which had affected his past relationships. Things are always more complicated than a lot of stans want them to be.
Super sad and gross that his fans went after her and blamed her for his relapse. There is a genetic component to addiction and it is deeply unfair to try and place blame on an addict's partner for their addiction or relapse. I always felt like his fans projected the "wife guy" persona onto him bc from my observation a lot of what he said in interviews in particular had some glaring red flags. Not saying he is a bad person bc addiction is complicated and drives decent people to do bad things that often end up hurting their loved ones most. But Anna Marie doesn't deserve any hate for his behavior, and addicts who are active in their recovery should do whatever is necessary to make amends to the people they have hurt. I hope Anna Marie is at the top of that list.
@@alexkasper5029 his special “New in Town” has a good chunk about him being a teenage alcoholic and how one time he even drank an entire bottle of perfume. If I remember correctly they separated long before filing for divorce, he wouldn’t go to rehab or admit he had a problem. They just filed or completed the paper work after he was out of his program.
My ex husband cheated. I sent him to a clinic for six addiction (that was his excuse) he landed up sleeping with another girl at the clinic. She was barely of age at the time as well. I filed for divorce immediately. I have also never stayed with a friend who has cheated. I have 3 rules, don’t lie, don’t cheat and don’t abuse. If any is broken then I’m done. I have strong boundaries for a reason and I won’t set them aside for someone else’s comfort.
How do you set boun
I don’t believe it’s an addiction or disease. It’s diseased thinking. Good for you! I had to learn boundaries the hard way.
@@ericabamforth6528Absolutely anything that causes the brain to release high amounts of dopamine, like sex, intimacy, and orgasms, can become a physical addiction. You can believe whatever you want, but you're still incorrect. Absolutely ANYTHING can become a physical addiction for people. That is a basic biological fact.
To me cheating is the ultimate disrespect. The way I see it, a person cheating on you means they don't care about your mental health, your sexual health, your emotional well-being, etc OR they didn't care enough to consider it in the first place. They were willing to put you through emotional turmoil, potentiality multiple times, or again didn't even consider you for a second. I personally would never want to be friends with someone like that, nor would I stay with a person like that.
Well, I think you’re probably very young and inexperienced at life. There are always two sides to every story and each side likely has many faults and each contribute to the breakdown of the relationship. So I’d like to suggest to you that you hold off such drastic judgment of other people and realize that people are strong and people are weak and that things rarely are the way they seem to those on the outside. And we will be judged by the judgment we give others, so a little softening of attitude is called for. You have no idea what you will do in the future if faced with someone you love cheating on you. I think, should it ever happen, you will be surprised by the actions you actually take in your quest for understanding and how to cope with your own situation.
@Al LOL right? Must be an Esther Perel acolyte. Cheaters make all sorts of excuses for them cheating but ultimately they chose to cheat. That speaks on their character.
@Al I’ve never cheated before and this person is right. Stop with the in group/out group bullshit. People are allowed to have different perspectives and cheating isn’t always from a place of not caring. Sometimes a person is self destructing. You do not know.
@@neurotika you don’t get a pass on destroying other people in your own self-destruction. Whether someone is being self-destructive or not, cheating is a deliberate act which betrays the trust another has placed in you. At the core of it, cheating is an act of cruelty
@@neurotika You sound ridiculous, lmfao. Just because a person is self-destructing, doesn’t mean they’re also completely incapable of thinking about how their actions will affect the people around them. Everyone knows what cheating does to people. If you still do it anyway just because you’re self-destructing, you clearly flagrantly don’t care.
I feel like you’re one of the rare RUclipsrs that CONSISTENTLY thanks the fans. And not in just a standard “thank you so much”. You explain why and I just really admire you. Hope your mental health is doing well. Love ya! ❤
OMG that is so incredibly sweet of you to say, thank you! I honestly tell myself everyday that I would have no real voice in this world without you all, which I consider an honor and such a blessing. Y'all don't have to let me into your lives, but you do, and that is so special to me.
@@PettyUniversity You just keep doing greater things and I’m HERE for it. You’re a real one and your soul is one of the brightest I’ve seen. You have tons of support, always!
@@Topherswife wow you know her personally to be able to project this made up personality everyone on RUclips has?
@@Pooh_Bella just being kind in this ridiculously toxic world. 😉
@@PettyUniversity girl. U have *tremendously* helped me this past year keep my self al!ve this past 9 months. I have ptsd from. S.a. by a family member and they also were law enforcement. I was 14 and it was my narcissist moms brother. It was intentionally triggered on the floor at work (ltc facility for combat veterans) bc my bestie is a black native trans man whomst transitioned there. While i had the absolute pleasure of going along for this ride...i also so the harassment; discrimination; public outing all kinds of stuff. Then it got worse. 173 p.o.c. agree. We had a petition; the results had ONE SENTENCE about racism/discrimination. One. Anyways thank you so much i just think u need to know ok? My first video was the make up one. Girl. I fell head over heels than!! You hold that beautiful brilliant head high!!!
Swoop your outlook has saved me and actually inspired me to out my abuser. It was rough but other victims came to me to say the same thing happened to them. It was beautiful to know that we could be there for each other. Bless your heart. I'm so grateful that you are who you are and empower others.
I wish you strength and lots of love from your closest ones!! You deserve to be treated with respect, always. Best of luck getting that justice 🤍
Sending you so much love. You are so exceptionally courageous and strong and you deserve to be loved and respected. Keep being magical, beautiful 💙
@@konfupandix Wow, thank you. You're such a kind soul. I've had plenty of time to heal. Being able to let other women know that they're not alone was worth every bit of hate. My abuser posted screenshots of me agreeing to hang out with him as if it was proof... and then people I'm no longer friends with hopped in to say "if she willingly came over she's clearly lying." Watching these Swoop videos has helped me realize how absolutely moronic that way of thinking is. Thanks for the kind words, I wish you and yours nothing but the absolute best ❤️
@@AnotherCatLady- sending you love right back! It means so much to have support. I wish you nothing but happiness, babe! 💖
Well done! I’m sure you helped the other victims process through doing that. 💕
Less importantly, I love your username lol
The wedding vows are for things like sticking with your partner through sickness and being poor . Lol not for cheaters. Cheating is literally breaking the vow well before the other partner decides to leave
He never left her, dumbass. Abandoning your spouse is vile. Cheating is nothing. We don't even know that he kept it secret from ariel. Oh no, he likes to kiss people, what a fucking scandal.
Good point on this.
For better or worse. However, everyone’s “ for better or worse” looks different. I was SOOOOO DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN. My first love. NOTHING was wrong in our relationship. So I thought….. Except his obvious desire for someone else. Which I know goes deeper than that.
My husband cheated on me. Caught him in a hotel with the other girl, he had her in our truck, where our newborn son’s car seat was sitting… she wrote her name on our truck window ( with the condensation, like what you would do to a mirrow in the bathroom after a shower ) and left a pair of socks in the door. There is WAY more to it than this, and another emotional affair with a girl at work around the same time, but I stayed…. 14 1/2 years later a huge part of me wishes I had left. There is so much pain and hurt and anger still inside of me. I feel it has been so u fair to my children to have stayed. I often find myself wondering how things would’ve been… could be… idk. I know every one is different. I’ve known others who have stayed and they have healed and made it on the other side. I had hoped for that… but…..
For anyone going through it, KNOW your worth… Give yourself permission to REALLY think about the future. Be realistic. There are issues, if you stay, that you will have never thought of, they will be devastating. Not to mention the mental anguish, that’s the worst part, I think… idk. Just know that the possibilities of what could be if you leave are ENDLESS!!!! I go back to KNOW YOUR WORTH. Man or woman, know your worth. If there are kids involved, don’t stay because of that. They will grow up healthier and more whole and stable if you go and SHOW them their worth in a sense. You teach your kids how to let people treat them… I guess ultimately, I wish I had left, not even so much for my sake, but for my kids sake….
Much love and light. 🖤🫶🏻
Exactly, your vows are saying "no matter what happens around us, what gets in our way, I'll be with you" not "yeah I might fuck up but you gotta forgive me rather than me confronting my shortcomings now lol"
I was cheated on & the other person was in our friend group. The entire friend group dropped me. No one supported me & I found out that they all knew & were helping them hide it from me. A friend who wasn’t in the group but knew all of us was there for me but ended up screwing the next partner I had. It was an awful couple of years.
Holy shit ! That’s why I don’t knowingly befriend ppl that would cheat on their partner or recently have. I feel like it can backfire quick. Not saying that happened in your situation btw ! Im very sorry that happened to you 😢. It’s crazy to me cause my bf’s friends are dudes I both knew as the biggest players in HS. One stopped but the other dude is still def a cheater and all around dog 🐶. As someone who’s ruined a male friendship over dating the dudes’ best friend (we weren’t together, dude just liked me), I can tell he’d be the type that I could cheat with if I wanted lol. I wouldn’t, but it’s easy to tell who’s the weak link. My bf thinks his friends are solid asf, but his friend will sleep with any gal who’s attractive and open 😂 Im just not down.
Those people were never your friend then. Fortunately you know that now and they are out of your life, leaving you free to find genuine friends that will have your back. So rejoice! All of this happened to spare you from further and worse hurt down the line. Look at how much time this has saved you from investing in the wrong relation. Now you can get on with finding your true love and kindred spirit.
@@Kristenn666 Sounds like you have a great radar! Now that I'm much older it's easier to spot those kind of people & I feel my radar is far more refined....Another case of 'wish I knew then what I know now'🙂
@@ReviewsAndMore9 You're so right! Thank you so much for the kind & insightful words, I really appreciate it💗💗
Wow those aren't friends and I'm glad they're not in your life anymore.
When I had issues with my husband and he cheated on me multiple times, I reached out and leaned on so many supportive people and that helped the healing so so much. I hope you find people who will truly have you back.
Unpopular opinion: if you have kids you owe it to them to show that betrayal has consequences, especially when someone was having an affair as blatant and careless as Ned. Otherwise you’re gonna wind up with kids that choose to cheat in their relationships or choose to stay with unfaithful people, no matter how bad the relationship is. It’s better to cut things off entirely and have the cheater learn to be on their own and work on themselves without the impulse to try and keep the person they betrayed close.
It truly depends on each situation. There’s serial cheaters who are selfish and don’t care (like Ned) and there’s men (or women) that have a weak moment because they feel unloved or unappreciated ,immediately regret it, and seek to make things better by putting forth effort to heal and go through counseling. I think if you have kids, you owe it to them to try and work it out, and show them an even more important lesson that people who love each other can forgive and grow stronger. But again, depends on the marriage and the person cheating.
@@a.walters123 the problem is alot of the couples i see "try to work it out or stay for the kids" always also yell at eachother constantly
while their kids are around and given the kid probably assumes the parents are still in love they now think that is love.
and my mom told me parents who do that are selfish, cause if you really were just staying for the kids you would atleast try to be civil,
and not toxic in front of your kid or kids.
This!! I absolutely abhor the whole “stay together for the kids”. Neither of my parents cheated but it seemed like they absolutely could not stand each other at times and would constantly yell at each other. They stayed together for me and my siblings and we’ve all said that we wish they would’ve divorced. It can be so damaging for kids to keep them in an environment like that. So no, I don’t stand with the idea of staying together for your kids.
I absolutely agree. If your relationship is starting to turn toxic, its not good for the kids to stay in that relationship. But also, if you want the kids to still have both parents in their live, stay civil with your ex. It's also horrible for your kids if you are badmouthing your ex or refuse to even be in the same room as them. You don't have to be friends but at least be civil. However, this doesn't apply when it's not safe to be around your ex and if that's the case, is it even safe for your kids to be around them?
I do believe it's a double-edged sword though. My best friend's parents got divorced when she was in middle school because her Mother couldn't put up with their Dad anymore. And while she consciously understands that it was the right thing to do, and a step that was not taken lightly, she still holds resentment towards her parents. Because it cost them the house she grew up in, and the social circles she'd had since childhood, as her Mum moved with them into a three-room apartment a few towns over. However much she'd like to be supportive, there will always be that voice in the back of her head that is blaming both her parents. She knows that he was abusive, towards her mum as well as towards them, but it still hurts. It's just sad how there sometimes just isn't a right thing to do, just several wrong things that are wrong in different ways.
Thank you so much for trying to not stigmatize narcissism. My bf has been diagnosed with it and he works so so hard to keep the negative aspects of it in check.
This is the only wholesome comment. Narcissism is real and it can be worked on, and I'm very happy for your boyfriend that he found the clarity to seek guidance. Personality disorders are heavily, VERY unfairly demonized, and it's stupid. We're all human people. These are ultimately mundane, natural problems with mundane, natural solutions, as long as people drop the drama and focus on moving forward.
I recently found out my grandmother was diagnosed with NPD, in the 90's. The last decade, I survived what is formerly known as Munchausen by Proxy, while being bedridden/housebound, with my mother as my "caretaker."
I, absolutely, believe she was doing whatever she (legally) could to destroy me.
My lifelong health issues have been result of adrenal disease; largely due to the abuse I experienced, all while being unknowingly autistic (which, is what took me so long to realize how wrong the way I have always have been treated by my family is).
REGARDLESS.
I ALWAYS make sure when I hear/see people throw around about others being narcissistic, sociopathic, or even a psychopathic -- none of those are mutually exclusive to chronic, malignant behavior, whatsoever.
If anything, people getting mad as such people because they don't feel/experience empathy as "normal" people do, well, to me.. Seems like a rather codependent, dysfunctional mindset, in its own right.
And I like you stated "there negative aspects in check" -- a "personality disorder" doesn't imply One's personality is entirely dysfunctional, either.
@@XOChristianaNicole I'm so sorry you went through that and glad you're out of that situation. No one should have to go through what you have. As an abuse victim i understand the lingering physical and mental damage that can stick with you.
NPD can run in families so mu bf has been a victim to it as well and decided it ends with him. We also watch for it in our son so if it does hit him we can catch it early and give him the tools to handle and live with it.
@@Queer_Nerd_For_Human_JusticeNPD is real and not at all as prevalent as people make it to be, but it's not mundane.
@@XOChristianaNicoleThank you so much for this. i have been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder a long time ago and i’ve seen some pretty bad reactions. i wish more people had this mindset and i’m sorry for what you went through.
Just the thought of Ned probably removing the car seats from his Tesla so he can cheat on his wife in the back is...🤢 I give her a lot of credit for wanting to stick it out. I don't think I could get past that kind of shit no matter how much I loved someone.
He seems like the type of guy to not have carseats in his car unless they're all using it. The carseats probably live in her car most of the time
oh girl whyyy, why did you have to give me this imagery???
It should be obvious that ned and ariel could have been the ones in the car.
@@Queer_Nerd_For_Human_Justice I mean, yeah, they could have, but why would they be? They have a house. With a bed. Having sex in a car is not a fun, good time experience; it's the last-ditch effort of people who don't have anywhere else to go. That's why it's so frequently associated with teenagers.
He didn’t lose focus, his focus switched to someone else other than his WIFE AND KIDS
Exactly. You can lose focus while studying, or while performing a task. It sounds so weird to say it when talking about failing to be loyal to your partner... whom you married... It makes it sound way too nonchalant or accidental for the betrayal that it really is.
@@aurea. He makes it sound as if staying loyal required some continuous conscious action where any minor mistake automatically results in cheating.
@@Avellania That’s why I don’t like when others call cheating “a mistake”. It’s a lot different if someone flirts with you and you might get flirty but then back off and are like “nope!”. But full on making plans, sneaking around, taking your clothes off, etc. those are all moments to stop and think “wtf am I doing?”. Cheating isn’t a ‘mistake’ to me, it’s a shitty choice and deception. Just cause you regret it after it’s done doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a choice.
So true.
@@aurea. yeah - like oops!
Honestly, if you piss off the internet, don't then try to trick them. It will bite you in the ass.
edit: I was the kid who's father cheated. My earliest memories are of him cheating while my mom was visiting family. My mom stayed for a few more years "for us". She thought it would be better for us. Unbeknownst to her, my siblings and I regularly speculated on when she would finally get rid of him. When you know from a very young age that your parent can't be trusted, it messes with you. There isn't a reality where the Fulmer kids don't find out about this. I'm sorry for Ariel, but as an adult who was that kid, all of my empathy goes to those kids. It's a really rough way to grow up.
This kills me because I know I should have left my husband sooner but wanted my marriage to work so badly.
My kids were the ones who ended up being hurt the worst and the shifty thing is that he's still hurting them.
They're 34, 33, and 31 now but they have so many issues.
All daughters who feel like they aren't enough because their father walked away - and then his parents dumped them like they had never been born.
That they chose him over them really fucked with their minds.
They were 8, 10, and 11 at the time of our separation.
All ages are bad for this to happen.
Ned has not only thought to himself that this entire situation is unfair, "I just cheated on my wife... That's not a crime. Other people do so much worse and aren't canceled..." But I'm positive he's also repeated that stupid statement to "close friends," if you catch my meaning. He's pissed this happened TO HIM.
I watched my mom get cheated on for ages while I was growing up and saw her friends cut her off when she wouldn't leave my father over it because she was afraid of him not paying child support for the three of us. It sat with me pretty firmly. When my first boyfriend cheated on me I cut him off that day, because I'd seen what my mother went through and once a cheater always a cheater, from my experience. Afterward he started telling lies about me and when his best friend, who I had an almost familial connection to, heard it, he beat the crap out of him in the school yard and cut him off, but my female friends who'd been mutual with him, a lot of them cut ME off. came to find out they were the ones he cheated with. Fucked me up big time. I'm always cautious in my relationships, now. I talk to my partners, and the minute hinky things happen I ask them about it to sort it out. I wound up breaking up with my last partner because I had Suspicions (then they got together with the people I suspected them of being with and I'm just like HMMMM >_> ) Like. I'm poly but being poly requires a LOT of communication and honesty. I'd have been fine with it if we talked about them seeing other people while we were together but they DIDN'T and that's *not* ok
Important for people to know that being poly isn't an invitation to being lied to or cheated on
@@OpqHMg exactly!
I wonder if the "friends" who cut your mom off were also some of the ppl cheating with your dad (like your friends w your bf). I feel like it's such a shitty friend thing to do to cut off someone bc they are financially dependent on an asshole. That's when your friend would need more support and respect than ever and I can't imagine they really cared about her if they left her during that time.
@@natatatm oh it's possible but I can't imagine them wanting someone like my father. Just. He was so gross? Like physically, so gross. Grimy in an unpleasant way, not a Geralt of Rivia way. So I'm absolutely baffled that he could even find people to cheat with, and I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't personally seen the evidence. So I always wondered if they just didn't believe her
@@CleverClovers as sad as it is, sometimes it's not about how attractive the cheater in question is. Some in people need to get one over on someone else to feel better about themselves and "stealing" someone's partner is a way they think will achieve that
I think Ned became the wife guy to distinguish himself from the other two nerdy white guys in the Try Guys.
I fully believe it was supposed to just be a funny bit (if I recall correctly, Ned tried to be a comedian and failed) but people reacted so positively he made it his personality instead.
Smokey Glow did a deep dive on the evolution of the Try Guys as a channel, and while it does touch on the subject of Ned's infidelity, it was more a history of how the guys got together at Buzzfeed and how they evolved their brand. What Smokey found out in research is that the 3 white Try Guys wanted to do more to distinguish themselves from one another: Zach was more emotional and talked about his inner life and struggles, Keith was the food guy, trying everything on menus, reviewing stuff, even financing upcoming food entities, and Ned was the wife guy, eventually the wife and kids/lifestyle vlogger guy.
Specifying race when not needed doesn't help anyone. Regardless of white or black. You didn't need to specify. We all know they are white. Even colorblind people can tell that.
@@jwright6059 there were 3 white guys and 1 Asian, the white guys had to find ways to separate themselves. If all 4 of them were different races, he wouldn't have had to create such a specific persona to stand out.
@@blabla187it's not racist lmao. the try guys literally joke about it themselves. how whiteness is over-represented in their group since there's only one person of color. obviously if you have a four piece group and three of you are the same race, same hair color and similar personalities, you'll want to create an individual brand that sets you apart from the other ppl in the group.
Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a thing. Ned probably used that to justify his actions by either blaming his wife or children (yes, people will blame their children for cheating).
oh yeah people blame it on the fact they have kids, normally, not always, they expect the male fairytale of the wife doing ti all for kids and giving him the same amount of attention like before the kids
I literally talked to a guy few weeks ago who complained how his wife didnt want to go out late anymore because the kid, the few months old kid, would sleep at 9PM (where kids are supposed to sleep) and they couldnt go out
Like… dude were you so stupid you would think having a child will change nothing?
I think some of them are really that out of touch with reality
Nah, Ned just thought he's better than everyone because he's smart. His attitude and comments over the years have shown his true feelings. I'm curious to know what his dad said about all this.
What I worry and fear truly is Ariel trying to sell some sort of "learn how to forgive your asshole cheating husband" coaching to other vulnerable women as a way to come back to the influencer market. This would be such a bullshit move in every way.
Gods, I hate that so much. Like it’s up to you, but let’s not pretend it’s “the healthy choice” and imply those who walk away aren’t trying as hard 😭 The worst part to me though, is what that teaches any kids involved.
(note: not saying you can’t work through things and be healthy, my lack of ever seeing that proves nothing. my point is how some people that do, act like their way is the only healthy way.)
@@sourgreendolly7685 I think those who leave also act superior, as if their decision is somehow braver. It's even worse when it's the guy whose been cheated on and he stays. I personally don't think she should forgive Ned because I think it was very flagrant. BUT staying in this context is a brave choice since she actually doesn't financially need him and the world would support her leaving. Staying has turned her life into a spectacle and that hella brave.
Idk what little I know of Ariel’s personality doesn’t make me think she’s the kind of person to market her experience in that way. If anything, sharing her experience and how she comes to whatever conclusion she does (despite the pap we don’t actually know what “working on working it out” means to her) wouldn’t be the worst comeback to social media. It’s the right decision for some couples, and the wrong decision for many. The fact of the matter is she knows Ned in a very different way than any of us ever will. She’s allowed to stay with him if that’s what she believes is right for her. And we don’t get to judge her harshly for it.
@@angietoonz6605 yeah. I don't know her either and I'll always have a strong opinion about when someone should stay but my honest opinion is similar to yours. I think she's going to stay more for herself and the fact that it's easier to stick with familiarity; I mean they were married for a considerable time before they had kids.
Not that she isn't thinking about the kids of course but that I think it's more than just about the kids.
I don’t think she’s just staying with him in a romantic relationship, I believe they’re just trying to co-parent wisely.. It’s very traumatic for the kids if the mom acts like she hates their father, especially if it’s something that doesn’t have to involve them such as cheating. If he was abusive or something it would be different of course.. keep that bastard away. But if he just cheated just leave him but be cordial, you get what I mean? Many women do petty stuff like that ..only think of their own feelings beyond their children and I have no respect for women like that.
Divorce him of course, especially if she respects herself she will, but stay friends for the sake of the childrens wellbeing. That’s the wisest choice imo.
I'm fortunate to say I've never had a friend cheat (that I'm aware of), but a few years back, when one of my best friends was 99% checked out of her relationship, she was discussing with me and another two friends of ours if she should hookup with a guy she had recently met who was in to her.
I and one of our other friends vehemently told her that if she is considering cheating on him then she should end things.
The other friend said that if she was so checked out of the relationship then what difference did it make?
I remember my opinion of the two of them really soured after that conversation, but she did not cheat and eventually broke up with her boyfriend a few months later.
We were talking about it recently and she mentioned she found out he had cheated on her by then and that she regretted not cheating on him which really disappointed me and I told her that it wouldn't have validated her cheating and that cheating is a reflection of the person who does it, not who it happens to. No one *deserves* to be cheated on.
I can't say I would completely cut a friend off if they cheated, but it would make me seriously question their character.
Yeah I understand what you mean, my friend had told me she slept with a married man, being a good friend I tried not to judge her, then he left his wife, started seeing my friend, then he went back to his wife, then left her again and started seeing my friend again, you know where this is going, yep he went back to his wife, my friend turned around and told me she hated the wife, I said look ur hating the wrong person here, she doesn’t even know about you, but every time we met up it was all about her and this guy, after being with her it was exhausting. Then a couple of weeks ago, she txt asking for advice, I had the worst migraine so didn’t reply until the next day but then I noticed she blocked me, haven’t heard from her since, but what she was doing with a married man should have been a red flag for me, I may have lost my friend but omg i feel so at peace not having to hear about this guy, even though I would give her advice she would never take it, you see my abusive ex cheated on me constantly so I don’t agree with it but I didn’t want to drop my friend as I thought I was being a good friend, guess I just wasted my time
@@nicolawalker6402 I personally can't understand being someone's affair partner. If they're cheating on their current partner today, they'll be cheating on you tomorrow...
@@SLTheOneAndAwesome19 yeah I tried to tell her that, if he can do that to his then he will do the same to you
From personal experience I've found that people whose entire personality revolves around their relationship to someone else tend to be either fake and manipulative, or boring with low self-esteem, in any case, just people you just don't want to keep near you. Great video as always, I really wanted to hear what you'll say after more things came out.
True ! Reminds me of an old HS Best friend. She lost two friendships (one of them being mine) because of constantly ditching her friends and even outright lying to go see her bf. It’s fine, but you don’t have to lie, yknow ? I remember one time I was hanging with her and didn’t bring my house key so literally could not get home until a bit later, she said that was fine. She started doing the FAKEST cough ever outta nowhere after being on her phone a bunch. Saying she was “sick”. I kept asking her to just tell me the truth cause it was obvious what was up. Turns out she planned to ditch me from the start to see her bf but still fucked me over for some reason ? I waited outside my house in the negative degree winter until my mom got home….3 hrs later 😵💫. She literally changed her personality for every man she met. She did not know who she was deep down, and I felt bad for her. But couldn’t handle it. I even got in a relationship and was chilling with her and my bf at the time started demanding I leave to go see him. I said “I told you I had plans all night. Bye !” And hung up on him and turned my phone off😂. She was APPALLED and told me I was wrong for doing that to him. Nope ! He respected me even more cause he knew he couldn’t boss my ass around or take advantage of me.
Oh wow, being boring, what a crime
Like Caleb Finn. I’m waiting for Soup to dump his ass next.
@@Queer_Nerd_For_Human_JusticeOr having low-self esteem. Right to prison. Life without parole /s
He admitted he faked how well his relationship was just for social media. He confesses during the first polygraph test episode.
Swoop, i watched you for well over a year, and about 6 months ago, I was watching your doc on Gabby Petito and realized that I was groomed as a teen. everything started to make sense and it was like the final piece of the puzzle fell into place. my healing started that day, and it’s directly related to you. YOU are so an amazing human. you’re vulnerable and very very compassionate. it’s so rare to see someone like you, and i’m so glad i found your channel ♥️
When your name is Stephanie and you're checking your phone exactly when she says "Stephanie, I see you in the back"
Bruh, I jumped in my sit
The fact that you called Tripp a rapper was generous 😂
Hahahahahahaha
That was straight up charity tbh
Robbie being 'kinda cringe' is an understatement. Fellas really be here framing 'body positivity' through the lens of what turns them on.
That is sadly the foundation of the entire fat acceptance movement. White men "fat admirers" who wanted to destigmatize their own attractions rather than improve the lives of the women themselves
Being known as "The Wife Guy" is kinda weird to me. I love my husband, but losing your identity as an individual and curating your personality and persona as one half of a pair, than you are losing the person that their partner fell in love with, and of course issues will be created into the relationship. If that relationship dissolves, then who are you?
My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married 7 1/2 and I would hate it if stopped being him.
wife guys are the male equivalents of pick me girls. they need the world to know that they are "not like other guys", even though they sure are
Me personally, I stopped being friends with a bestie who cheated. I had a boyfriend at the time who I saw a future with and I didn’t trust her to be around my man at that time. If you could betray your man, who’s to say you won’t betray me.
Sounds like you also didn’t trust your boyfriend and shouldn’t have stuck with him either
The saddest part is when she does find someone else, who does actually love and appreciate her, I feel it might give her ptsd in a way. I feel he has ruined her trust and wanting to give her heart to another person way more difficult. If the guy can make you feel on top of the world while cheating, then imagine what she’s gonna think the next time around. I definitely pray for her healing.
im honestly shocked TMZ left their license plate in originally. thats like a HUGE liability/privacy issue that can get them sued. so this will be interesting going forward
I had a friend that cheated when we were really young. Like 17-18. It was a toxic relationship he was psychologically abusive and when she found out he had been cheating, she cheated in retaliation, regretted it and ended up finally leaving the relationship. I didn’t cut her off, it was a bad decision she made during a difficult time that she immediately regretted. If her situation were different I probably would have had a much different reaction.
I went back and read her statement on Instagram again...I don't think she's ruled out divorce. Everything I've seen of/from her, her babies come first. So if what's best for them is to separate and/or leave that's likely what she'll do.
1000% Ned or his PR team set up the TMZ thing, and 75-80% she had no idea it was coming. The way she answered, she was uncomfortable, and her answer left open the possibility that this won't end with them still together. My only hope is that she and her sons can get through this with as little negativity towards them as possible...and that the boys won't be persec in school for the actions of their father
I feel like if you have to constantly tell the world how much you "love" your partner or spouse, chances are, you don't actually love them. And it sucks that it took hearing about Ned cheating on Ariel to find that out.
Telling your partner in private is good though. I don't want "I love you" too be such a uncommon thing that it can be used to manipulate. I want it to be a everyday thing. It might just be me haveing been through emotinal manipulation in the past needing that constant reasurance. But I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Telling everyone else though can be a red flag. Saying it in a context it makes sence is one thing, doing everything in your power to bring it up is a problem.
Edit: I can’t handle all the negativity coming my way from this. I expected better from people who watch Swoop
Nobody can convince anybody to cheat, if he did this it’s totally on him and you don’t deserve to stay in a relationship were someone doesn’t respect you like that. Hope you can figure things out for yourself and find a way to be in peace again, the kids will always understand ❤ sincerely, from a kid of parents who divorced because of serial cheating
I'm so sorry! Wishing you nothing but healing
@@luizamelo827 His friend provided the person and opportunity but ultimately it was his decision. That’s why I say he was overcompensating by talking about how gross his cheating was, because he had those thoughts and planted the seed in me that he would never. And then after he cheated he kept up a front of being loyal unlike his friend. I’m not exactly sure of the timeline but I wouldn’t be surprised if after the fact he said hypocritical things to divert suspicion
A friend can encourage their friend to cheat. Why would his friend do that? A) So that your husband can’t out him because he could be outed himself. B) To alleviate his own guilt because he is not the lone cheater C) Someone to talk to about the details of his own cheating with. D) They can swap stories about all the dirty details and he can get off on them. PRAYERS
birds of the same feathers flock together
I feel like he just got tired of being a father and having a marriage life and wanted that excitement oh single life and the new feelings in a new relationship. He was chasing an old lifestyle that he isn't in anymore. It's honestly just so hard on the spouse because she was ready and being a good wife and spouse while he was just out cheating like he was single again when he isn't. Ew
I don’t think he ever had that lifestyle to miss tho. He doesn’t seem like the guy who was a big playboy or partier.
Damn I missed her by 6 minutes I absolutely love the work she puts into to these
But you still made it here! Thank you for being part of the fam!
My thoughts on keeping around a friend who cheated on their spouse. I wouldnt keep them around. To me, it would signal to my SO that i was ok with people cheating on their SO. I would never want my SO to think i would forgive them for cheating or that I would cheat on them. Your friends can signal to what behaviours you are ok with, and that is something i look out for when choosing friends and partners
Ohh interesting angle to view it! That’s a good point.
As someone who was cheated on, I side-eye my husband's friends so hard once I found out they knew about his cheating for a while (they're not *my* friends, so thank God). I side-eyed all of their relationships cos I believe 'the standard you walk past is the standard you accept'. I wondered if their partners knew that they turned a blind eye on cheating and 'was OK' with cheating because they even looked up to him and thought he was a great guy still... but I don't waste too much time wondering. Just the side-eye. It's a red flag for me now for sure.
The most surprising part of this is that Alex went through all this for NED 😂 have you seen her ex-fiancé?!
You’re not even gunna try for Keith? Common now. Lmao.
Looks aren’t everything, but I’ll give you a pass ‘cause you’re funny
When Alex's bf, Will, asked her to marry him, she never said yes. She mentioned that in a podcast and I thought it was a red flag. I mean, she's obviously not into her bf, so I'm not surprised she cheated. I guess she was too chicken to break off the relationship.
I think when people are really young, cheating can be a sign of immaturity. It's still not acceptable behaviour, but I wouldn't have dropped a high school friend over it. But an adult in an very long-term established relationship? Unless they're in a super toxic relationship on both sides, that's a character flaw to me. People can still grow and learn but if something they're shameless about, nahhh.
It would be cool if there was a paparazzi for the paparazzi: following them around and photographing the scene of famous people getting caught by paps
When I got cheated on, while my ex’s friends stayed friends with him, I found that they did not support his actions and some offered me kindness and encouragement to move forward with my life. Years later when my mom passed, they even came to her funeral and it meant a lot to me.❤
Swoop, I really appreciate you being so empathetic towards Ariel and her sons. I haven’t seen that take often, and as someone who survived this exact situation a few years ago, I feel very seen and cared about. people who haven’t gone through this kind of thing don’t understand just how earth-shattering it can be.
granted, when my father’s hands strayed, it wasn’t broadcast all over the entire fucking internet, but it still ruined everything. we were living overseas in China at the time, and my mother basically had to grab my brother and I and run back to Australia. we had nothing. we had no money and no income, no house, no car, no belongings, and worst of all, no happiness. my mother, all of a sudden, had to sever the relationship she had spent years thinking would last forever. my brother and I had to deal with the fact that we still love our father, but he betrayed and hurt our mother and us in the worst way possible, and that is an emotional turmoil I don’t wish on anyone. this whole situation was so out of control for us that I started going down a very reckless path. I'm talking daily SH, vicious cycles of binge eating and then extreme calorie restriction, lashing out at everyone who was kind enough to try and show me love. I was constantly battling the urge to unalive. my grades and friendships and relationship suffered and my depression got SO. MUCH. WORSE. I developed BDD and coping mechanisms that will follow me for the rest of my life. my relationship with my mother is incredibly damaged now because I had nobody else to scream at about my father. the way it all happened and the way we had to deal with it ended up giving me PTSD and I blame him. I had childhood trauma from before but this just... opened the floodgates, if you will.
my brother, in his anger, has done a lot of very fucked up things that I won’t speak about because it’s not my place. but, in the stress of a divorce and a move and trying to find a fucking job and a house for her children, my mother was not emotionally equipped to handle the way my brother and I were hurting. and I knew that. I spend years wondering if she would give in to the pain and end up killing us/herself. I was terrified. I never knew if she would snap or not. she never did, thankfully, but it is extremely distressing and triggering to see my mother cry now and I blame my father.
surprisingly, I still love my father. I had to spend YEARS in therapy to work through these emotions. to work through that whole ‘pick sides’ thing. to work through the fact that he made a shitty, awful decision that almost cost me my life on several different occasions. even now, 7 years later, I’m still picking up the pieces. I spent my entire childhood loving my father and I made the decision that I wanted to keep him in my life even after all this. I don’t know what Ned’s kids will choose, but Ned needs to know that what he has put them and Ariel through is unforgivable. they will most likely go the rest of their lives hating him just as much as they love him. and as much as that cocktail of fuckery sucks for Ned, it sucks for his kids and wife way more. trust me. when love rots like that, it hurts forever.
I feel so immensely awful for Ariel and her sons. what they are going through is perhaps one of the worst things in the entire world. Ned Fulmer is a cheating scumbag and I hope he wakes up every day and feels that sting.
My husband and I have been together for 20 years, but what a lot of people don't know is there was an instance of infidelity about 15 years ago where I caught my husband in the act of cheating. I chose to forgive him and try and move on, and the new relationship we forged was so much stronger than the one we had before. I don't think this happens for everyone, and I think it is so personal. Outside stress on the victim is so unnecessary. That being said, I think Ned did some truly awful shitty things, and deserves to be left. But if Ariel wants to work it out, then I wish her the best and I hope she gets the relationship she deserves in the partner she is choosing
You are very strong for sticking it out. Do you think he stopped cheating or did you just have to turn your head and ignore it going forward? Maybe he was more careful after being caught but I find most guys who cheat aren't capable of hiding it very well. Usually the wife needs to pretend not to know if she wants to keep the relationship going. Hopefully I am not prying too much but I am always curious how wives of cheaters manage it.
wow, that is awesome!
It was a similar thing for me and my husband. He cheated during the 7 year itch while dealing with substance abuse issues. He told me because he felt guilty, we did couples counseling, he got sober. He’s a totally different person now. And our relationship is much different, stronger, better and more open and honest all the way around. It’s been 7 years since it happened, now I deal with anxiety every year around the time he cheated and I still don’t trust him 100 percent, but I trust him enough to continue the relationship. I love him very much and I love our life that we’ve built. I honestly wouldn’t trade it if I could. It deepened my faith and our relationship and made me see how strong I am.
Spankie really is one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to filmmaking and story telling, you make amazing videos, thank you for sharing awesome pieces with the world 😊
You're so very kind thank you! Keep sharing your stories!
My ex dumped me and kicked me out the same day because his new gf was moving in the next day (who he had been emotionally involved with for a while at that point, unbeknownst to me, but not physically due to living in different countries).
His brother is one of my best friends, and I actually met my ex through him. He called me the day after the break-up to tell me he still cherished our friendship and I would always be welcome in his home, and had only known about the situation for about 1-2 weeks (and had advised against handling it this way), but that because my ex was his brother he had waited with talking to me about it until my ex told me himself. Then when he found out exactly how it had played out, he scolded my ex and verbally very much put him in his place. Both he and their mom have been incredibly supportive of me throughout the separation and whenever there is a disagreement on something they opt to support my side of the argument over my ex's since he's keeping the house, the car, most of the furniture, has a new life etc, so they think it's only fair I get extra help defending and advocating for what I do have left or what I need.
We have a large mutual friend group that has been very close for about 18-15 years. All our mutual friends agree it was a dick move, but none of them have changed their friendship with my ex except for my best friend (who is incidentally roommates with my ex's best friend). And even then the only change is that he doesn't visit my ex's house anymore, but is still amiable when the friend group meets up at a different place.
I don't blame them for not changing their relationship with my ex, especially not his brother and mother, but I do know they all very straightforwardly let him know that this was NOT the way to handle the situation, and that they would support me if I would ask. And that for me is enough, at least for now.
I was in a poly relationship with my now fiancee and his ex husband. When it came to light that our ex had broken my fiancee's one rule that they had for having FWB or other partners (anything steamier then a shower pic needed to be discussed on both sides) was broken, they decided to try and work it out but our ex continued to blame me for it. It broke a lot of trust with him breaking their agreed-upon rule but also blaming me ( along with other personal things) for it so we ended up ending thing a month after it happened.
Poly cheaters piss me off the most. I’m ambiamorous- I can be in poly or mono relationships - but I don’t think I’ll be doing poly again. All I wanted was it to be communicated FIRST. No override or anything - just tell me before you make a move. I’m a freakin cheerleader after that and her KNEW that smdh
I’m sorry you went through that bull
@sourgreendolly Wait, ambiamorous is a thing? That is so awesome. I am pretty sure I am not 100% monogamous but not 100% poly either. It really depends on my partner and the relationship. I just never knew there was a name for it.
Poly relationships are inherently pathological and goofy anyway and lend themselves to all sorts of dastardly ends.
@@chs75 Shut the fuck up. "Goofy"?? "Pathological"??? "Dastardly"????? Fuck off. Some people are poly, some people are mono. If you have a problem with that, don't make it other people's problem, keep your batshit nonsense to yourself.
@@Queer_Nerd_For_Human_Justice You mad bro?
A coworker let me know about her circumstances. She got cheated on by her husband, forgave him, mainly because of her children, but when he cheated again, and he was also abusing her (I think physically, but she had dropped him for a while before I worked at the same place, so I’m assuming, there were no bruises by the time we met), she left him and kept the kids.
AND HER FAMILY STILL HATES HER FOR IT.
Not her kids (but they’re like 5 and 7, I doubt they know) but her parents, aunts, etc would shame her “because he brought home a lot of money” (and gave her family gifts) so she “should’ve put up with it” and “she deserved any abuse”, and I was like.
I hate people like that exist.
When I remember this whole Ned thing, I wonder if Ariel ever got flak from family behind the scenes because he was super successful and had a lot of money. Of course, she doesn’t and SHOULDN’T be forced to answer that question, but it makes me think.
Also, I had two friends. My first friend cheated on the friend I made through her and I just noped, super hard. She wasn’t my friend anymore. I’m still friends, best friends too, worth the person she cheated on. But I cut ties with her. I can’t handle cheating. Freaking divorce or break up with someone if you don’t respect them as a person. I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t care about the feelings or thoughts of the person they’re supposed to LOVE. Like, if you treat your love like that, you sure as hell ain’t gonna treat your friends any better. it feels like a complete void of empathy. Don’t stay with someone that abuses you, but also don’t cheat. Sadly, when in abusive situations, (specially dangerous ones where children or your safety are involved), the world isn’t so black and white,,,
As a wife who was betrayed three times total. 2 online (one right after I delivered my baby, the other 4 months later) and one physical affair that lasted 6 months w a coworker after the online stuff. I totally related with Ariel’s “we are working on working things out.” It’s a roller coaster dealing w infidelity, and deciding to work things out. It honestly is the biggest step on “working things out.” It’s hard knowing if your spouse respects you and isn’t playing a game of chicken. I’m assuming she’s dealing with that mostly right now.
I feel like being a witness to a cheating is very situational. I’ve had friends I’ve cut off because they had no problem being cruel or tried to drag me and others into it. I’ve stayed friends with cheaters who made a mistake and made steps to grow after the situation.
Thank you for recognizing the strange parasocial relationships viewers have. I didn't realize how connected I was to Ned and Ariel. I have been a fan for so long and it genuinely hurt to learn about the affair. As a wife and mother, it would be devastating for me and I can only imagine what she is dealing with. 💔
And she has to deal with it publicly.
god I just feel so bad for Ned's wife and kids, and the guys too its pretty clear to me that they feel heartbroken and betrayed. Still the most important thing here are the kids, this is such a shitty situation.
the cat was like "your ear requires cleaning, sit still" and the other cat just accepted the grooming
I've followed you since the conception of this channel and I love how you've evolved, you're so talented and I love everything you create! The one that will always stand out to me is the video you did on battling depression, I deal with massive depressive disorder so that video really hit home for me. Never stop doing what you're doing ♥️♥️♥️
I've always been anti-cheating, like in my head I could never rationalize cheating on your significant other... and then one of my best friends did it and it really reminded me that there really are exceptions to every rule. for context, her husband was abusive, super controlling but was the person that got her out of her terrible childhood home when we were still in highschool. She was his ride or die since sophomore year, they had two beautiful boys and built a life together, but behind closed doors, he controlled who came in and out of her life and began getting physical during their last year together. I begged her for years to leave him, to get away from this terrible man but the more I brought it up the more she defended him, hid it, and drifted away from me. Eventually, I learned to shut my mouth and just be there for her as much as I could because in the end, she'd spent her entire life being told what to do, how to think, if she were to ever truly get herself out of this situation and future situations I needed to be her friend not her parent. when she told me she cheated I knew that this was it, I knew she was working up to finally leaving that psycho, and when she told me they were filing for a divorce we cried together. It's a few years after they separated, my friend is finally happy, she's with an amazing man who loves her and her boys to bits and she finally is living as her authentic self.
I still say cheating is wrong, I would never condone it, but in certain situations, it ends up being the catalyst that finally tears apart a toxic relationship... with that said, in the situation of Ned and Ariel, fuck that dude, I understand why Ariel would stay with him but I hope someday she understands how much she deserves a partner that truly treats her like their world. That's the thing though, Ariel is a fully grown woman who's dealing with more than just a cheating spouse, she's also dealing with millions of people sticking their noses into her life, she must be feeling so exposed right now, it's so disgusting what he's done to her.
Exact same situation as you were in Swoop. Had a friend who was cheating and then started getting me involved in hiding it from their partner. I had already told them I didn't agree with what they were doing and only asked to not involve me in anything. 🤷🏾♀️ Guess they didn't believe me when I told them not to cross that line with me.
I’m currently in a program for sex and love addiction. I think cheating is terrible and I think there’s a way to recover from it. If the person who cheated refuses to get help for an addiction/mental health/couples therapy…kick them to the curb.
I believe cheaters can change BUT that staying with them can also enable the behavior. It’s like going to AA and still hanging out at the bar. Maybe that’s because I had to be single to actively recover for my codependency and love addiction but it just feels like being single and not sexually active would be more conducive to recovery for those with sex addiction too.
No hate btw, I wish you all the best in your recovery. Takes guts to get help for that kinda stuff and I dunno you but I’m genuinely proud of you.
so much respect for you and the hard work you put into your recovery!
@@sourgreendolly7685 i have loved ones in AA and I have so much respect for people like who put hard work into their recovery!
@@sourgreendolly7685 never thought about this perspective. I can absolutely see that some people cheat bc they desperately need the validation they think will come with it. And in this case, i totally agree that staying with the partner wont fix the problem, since it will just be like a band aid and the person will continue to look for validation elsewhere when they cant find it in their partner. The root problem doesnt get addressed unless the person works on their issues alone
my parents have been divorced since i was seven, and their relationship just wasn’t great before then, so i would sort of idolize these “wife guy” tropes i saw in the media. now that i’m older, i realize that it was because i wanted to be them, i wanted to be able to love and adore a woman with everything i had, and i still do. realizing how many of these relationships are not only exaggerated, but at times completely different in reality makes me so upset. i really don’t understand how anyone could love someone enough to marry them and then do something like this. still waiting for my turn to get married and absolutely adore my spouse and be amazed at how i managed to get married to them.
I'm sure you'll get married someday but be careful about putting someone on a pedestal. No one is perfect and your partner is bound to have things about them that annoy you.
Wife guys can stand solid! They just gave to not refer to their wife as solely their wife. I had a teacher that used to spent like 1/3rd of total class time telling us about his wife, but he mentioned that his wife was Becky, and thereonout just called her Becky. And it wasn't just about how amazing she was, it was stories involving her because he truly loves her and likes talking about them having car trouble or going to a football game. It's when you're playing up the wife-guy shtick so people like you more when it's an issue.
I personally feel like Ariel knew and that’s why he was so bold about it. I do feel terrible for her, I just have a strong feeling that she wasn’t as blind sided about the whole ordeal like Alex’s fiancé was. They both have a brand and both profit off of their relationship so maybe she was in the works of ending things but he got too comfortable in public and it changed the trajectory of their plans.
Could it also be that they'd kept their relationship open but conceal the fact so they can continue to profit off their public persona of being family oriented?
@@lisatsen1556 if that was the case I believe they would’ve been more secretive and worked with ndas etc because of his online persona
What if the open status is only between the both of them and they hadn't let the others in on it? I did listen to a couple of episodes of the try wives' podcast n Ariel doesn't seem like the secretive type n doesn't seem like she could keep it under wraps if they have this type of agreement.
@@lisatsen1556 even if that was the case, i dont think ariel would be complacent once she knew it was with alex, of all people. She, like ned, probably knows that workplace relationships like this, where there is such a drastic power imbalance would risk the company.
@@lisatsen1556 I think in the case of “we need money for our family” she kept it together but since it blew up, they needed to change course.
Ariel and her kids deserve all the best and support. They've suffered enough with all of this craziness. This whole situation is a just a rollercoaster, honestly.
I know swoop didn’t mention it so I thought Id just comment really quick about the fact that the licence plate situation is incredibly endangering to everyone involved. I hope everyone (even including the ass hat in this situation) is safe, healthy and stays so, because we all know how extreme some people can be. I apricate swoop and her content because it helps me have a very well-rounded understanding as to what’s going on. Thank you swoop for doing the hard work for us, in an artful, graceful, coherent and entertaining way.
One of my guy friends cheated on his now wife. It's sad because his wife really became our friend too. She was caring and for me like the perfect partner. Tbh, he was the one who was lucky to have a dedicated & loyal partner. She cried to us and showed all the chat messages of our guy friend talking to another person about the woman he cheated on with. The hurt on her face because our friend was into that person & even wanted to meet the woman in Japan or something. Then he moved to Australia, then months later finding out they got back together. I was so disappointed but more on our friend of course. Then she also went to Australia, he funded her to get there then got married after. And our friend met my cousin saying he was offended of what we sad about him to her now wife. Like what did he expect? To support his cheating ass? He was also offended how we talked about how much he spend money when he was still here & he earned so little her before (were from the Philippines) her now wife forgave him but I still couldn't accept what he did because I hate cheaters.
I couldn’t follow half of that
This scandal broke the day after my partner left me so I've been OBSESSED with it. Thank you very much for this big long deep dive of distraction ❤
Honestly I’d drop a friend if they cheated on someone. I could never be friends with someone who could hurt another person like that.
Swoop definitely makes me be more self aware, and her docs help me be more realistic with influencers and who they are without a camera on them! I used to feel so involved with creators I liked and felt they were all being genuine to the personality they showed to their audiences. Now I'm way more careful with how involved I get with creators I like and try not to form any parasocial relationships with people I don't actually know! It also helps me be more aware of what I say and do in my real life as well as online! I feel like Swoop has helped me grow not only in that regard, but also as a survivor who blamed myself for many years, not blame myself as much! I want to thank you Swoop for being such an inspiration for so many people! Keep up the great work and I am sending you love and light!💖
This was such an inspiring comment to read thank you for sharing this. I’m truly so blessed to have you here, sharing your voice. 💙
As the cheater, I was being a lil shit, and I fully knew. My fiance took the time he needed, and I did everything i could to help him rebuild his trust in me. He has since forgiven me, and we both took a while to work on ourselves. I got a therapist for myself, worked on the issues I had at the time to make myself a better person, and now my fiance and I have been together almost 5 years. I was not an easy journey, especially for him, and I still have the anger at myself for slipping like that, but I work each day to become even more of a better person for him. I thank him often for sticking with me, and I do what I can to show my appreciation and dedication to the task of being the best me for him AND for myself.
Edit to add: I was not in a healthy place at the time, having come from a neglectful home. However, I know that this does not excuse my behavior. I also realize that it's only a partial explanation of my experience. But I wanted to include it as it does seem relevant to my previous comment.
Like I said, I got the help I needed, and still continue to get help, because I know that my childhood had its share of traumas. Now that I have gotten a few years of therapy under my belt, I know that my past failures do not define me now, but have shaped me to become better.
And to my fiance's credit, he has been a lifesaver for me. He was the reason I got out of my childhood home when I could, and has been the rock I've needed. I failed him, and if I were to ever repeat my past, he will leave, and I know that will be because of me. I have accepted this as the natural consequence, and do my best each day to ensure I never repeat those mistakes.
Heavy on the victim blaming part. People who get cheated on and choose to work things out somehow wind up getting an equal amount of hate to the person that actually did the cheating. It’s disguised as just “wanting more for them,” but it always comes across as judge mental and hateful. I feel it also does the opposite of what these people want, in that it pushes that person closer to the person that cheated on them. Because they feel isolated and judged by everyone else, they end up clinging even harder.
I don’t understand fear of being alone.
I have a fear of having someone in my space 24/7. The horror!
My male friend cheated on his gf and I stayed friends with him and the ex gf but he then started manipulating and abusing me and her and said she cheated on him First with me. As a lesbian I am offended. We had to get a restraining order against him and he vowed to make my life a living hell and he still tortures me
I was cheated on and then made to feel like it was my fault that the other person did it. I am so thankful that I didn’t have children involved because it was hard enough for me to get through.
Swoop always being so grateful we watch her, while being so informative, hilarious, well produced, and keeps it interesting.
Thank YOU Swoop for the lil hit of happy when I get your notifications :).
I think Kennie JD summed up my feelings on cheating when she said something along the lines of "a person who cheats on you has to hate you. Anyone who can make you feel like that on purpose has to hate you." I'm paraphrasing but I agree.
I also never understood why people in marriages specifically stayed together until I got married. I remember my aunt telling me she's staying with her husband because she's not gonna let go of all she built just to let some other woman take it away. When I got older I learned that she looked into divorce and the financial loss was too great. Like if they were an island nation it would be a respectable GDP.
Not cheating isn't complicated or difficult however making a decision as the afflicted party is. Its a series of decisions and the more that's in the relationship the more layers to work through. More planning more choices. It's hard. It's not a situation I've ever navigated. I hope to personally not have to.
I had a friend of mine that cheated on her first boyfriend at the time. We were all young, like 20. I stayed friends with her. She was extremely ashamed of her actions and the pain she caused to both parties. I remember her crying her eyes out. I listened and did not judge. I didn't condone her actions, but I was there for her to voice whatever she was feeling about herself. Since then, she has been in steady relationships and the one she is still in, she has been with since like.. 2014. I truly think that sometimes people just make mistakes, and cheat because their relationship isn't fulfilling their needs.. if someone can recognize when a partnership isn't meeting their needs, then they won't cheat. But if you're young or have gone throughout life feeling disempowered, it might be harder to voice your needs and you end up cheating on a partner. For Ned though.. it really feels like he was just getting high on the fact of not getting caught.
One key part of your story is that your friend showed true remorse and growth. Cheaters who show no remorse and no willingness to make things right or grow deserve to be dropped by decent friends, in my opinion.
Right. But Ned isn't young (relatively) her cognitive brain wasn't fully developed whereas his WAS when he cheated. I don't think the two are the same. Plus he was married and had kids. Totally different dynamic
You know what's worse than being cheated on? when the person apologizes and then does it again.
No thanks, the trust is gone, communication is out the window, and crucial compatibility is off. Goodbye!! 👋😏
I was friends with a guy who cheated on gf, and he actually said he was cheating with ME to protect the girl he was really cheating with. His GF and I talked for a couple hours after we figured out his game. I was devastated by his betrayal of not only his gf, but also me. So yea, I will never be friends with anyone who cheats.
When this happens, it’s important to remember, these people are parents and they will have to co-parent. They’re going to be seen together often for a while. And people stay married but live their own lives separately (while co-parenting) for financial reasons. It’s not always an emotional choice.
With a couple friend of my husband and I, the wife cheated. My husband asked me if I knew. My friend, the cheater told him, not a chance Melissa would’ve been the first to tell my husband. She had extenuating circumstances and needed rehab after everything. We were not friends for quite a while. She is now sober again, but lives across the country.
I was cheated on and it effected so much of my life.
My boyfriend of 5 years ended up cheating on me with one of my closest friends. I found out when he told me over the phone. I immediately got on the phone with her and was very angry. I told her that she needed to tell her boyfriend that night or I would as he was a very close friend of mine as well. He overheard me shouting down the phone to her. He messaged me asking if I was okay. I then had to tell him that his girlfriend needed to tell him something and that I was sorry.
I then call the remaining friend in our close circle and told her what happened. She was obvously shocked and was angry at what had happened. We talked a lot over the next couple of month and she let me know that she wouldn't be hostile to the friend who cheated however she wasn't going to seek her out.
This happened in Feb 2021 and they haven't contacted any of us since.
The two who were cheated on and the other friend are still friends however not as close as we once were
This whole situation really resonated with me. When all this came out, I had just found out that my partner of 5 years had cheated on me for a whole year. While we didn't have kids (fortunately), I moved to another country to be with him, leaving all my family and pre-existing friendships behind.
When his affair came to light, I hoped our friends (I also befriended them while I lived there) would disavow what he did. It was really hard on me when I found out that all of them but one "didn't want to take sides" because they were "not really involved". I disagree. Long-time cheaters are always also liars. That goes hand in hand. Do they really think he hasn't also lied to them? I think, if you cheat on someone for such a long time, you'll do everything to keep up the facade, including lying to your friends.
I'll be eternally grateful to that one friend who stood by me, because I know for a fact I would do the same. Difficult situations like these really tend to show people's true character and morals.
Whenever she calls out names of the fake audience, I just picture cats sitting at old school kindergarten desks 😸
i had quite a stressful day today, but somehow your videos lift my mood up every time. thank you!!(:
also, your docs are awesome, really detailed but still so enjoyable; love your work!❤
I had a friend who cheated on her spouse and I didn't even know her spouse. We told her to tell her spouse and she lied to us that she did, but her spouse reached out to us and never knew. I stopped being her friend for obvious reasons
My best friend cheated on my brother and I couldn’t even be anywhere near her after that, could never forgive her because he was so hurt and heartbroken 💔
That’s funny how the comment said, they wouldn’t stop being friends with a cheater, what does that have to do with them. Well a whole lot! If they are willing to be disloyal to their significant other, there is no way they will be loyal to you, and probably have backstabbed them in the past, and they don’t know, because they been close friends, even best friends, for many years. Hey if you want those type of people in ur lives, don’t be surprised, if they end up doing something, to break your trust with them.
I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in a wedding with someone who cheated on their partner of 9 years. We aren’t friend anymore. I get that some people have to throw a grenade into a relationship as their way out but it demonstrates a lack of ability to communicate, and a selfishness/recklessness that I can’t not judge.
I appreciate you, Swoop. I know the pain you go through with the fibro challenges and it’s bad. Like bad, bad. Yet here you are every week bringing the best content. 💖💖
Every time I hear the hilarious compilation of "My Wife" I process it as if Borat is saying it!!! I don't know many of the online people you cover as I'm not their typical demographic but I find your coverage is very insightful and engaging, standing on its own merit regardless.
You literally are one of my favorite content creator and when I see a new video is posted, I get too hyped! You’re amazing for putting these out! Sending love from Portland, Oregon ❤🎉
After coming out of an 8 year toxic and abusive relationship I was in a relationship with someone for over 3 years and he cheated on me. I straight up told him I would rather be with someone who beats the sh*t out of me every day than be cheated on. The mental/emotional damage is so much more difficult to bounce back from. We had mutual friends who knew I happened the day it happened and didn't say anything to me. Dropped. Thank you for showing me where your loyalties lie, preesh you.
Thank you so much for always doing so much research to give us top tier quality docs. I appreciate all of the hard work and objective opinions you put into all of your content. Much love 💜
I am loving all of your older content! I’m a new subbie and You help me get through work. Thank you for your awareness, approach, gentleness, and sass.. errr your pettiness. 😘😩
43:40, this was the problem with when my ex cheated on me. I was trying to trust him again but he just wanted me to do so. Like I'm still healing and he's throwing at me "why don't you trust me?". I should have left way earlier in the relationship
Yeah, people cope at different paces.
Imagine going through this in the public eye. Damn I feel sorry for all who is affected
As always this was a phenomenal, informative video. Thank you for producing such great content on a platform which feels so devoid of life rn. Also, I really appreciate how you are able to speak about these important and quite heavy topics seriously and with the utmost respect while still being able to joke around. That’s a skill that’s hard to perfect, but you manage to balance humor and seriousness perfectly. Awesome job ❤
Regarding the note on childhood experiences and adult emotional processing: some of us who were severely emotionally neglected and spent our formative years and life with nobody to turn to and instead internalize or feelings instead of having them validated and learning to self soothe.
So some of us are horrified of being alone once we reach and age where you are alone with your feelings more often than not (if you’re single).
The video was fantastic I just related to that one statement and it hit home