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Toxic Church Cultures | GRACE Live Conversation | Scot McKnight & Boz Tchividjian
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- Опубликовано: 15 авг 2024
- Real safeguarding isn't about checking off a few boxes. To truly affect culture change we must start by naming what contributes to a toxic culture and take the proactive steps to identify and combat it. Watch the latest GRACE Live Conversation with Boz Tchidjian and, special guest, Scot McKnight as they answer the questions...
- Why is culture so important?
- What are the elements of a toxic/abusive culture?
- What can faith communities do now so these things don't happen later?
Aired live on October 24th, 2020. To learn more about how to make your faith community a safer and healthier place, visit www.netgrace.org.
Thete is a reason why some of us will never go back into churches.
Toxic? I got toxic. What do you when your family doctor is also your elder, your landlord, your friend, your banker, your mentor, your employer, and your babysitter? When I was finally shunned, this man adopted, yes, adopted my mentally ill daughter as a married adult, still being her doctor, and I haven't seen her or my grandchildren in ten years! I lost everything! I had no credit history, no job history, no rental history, no friends, I am not even acknowledged as a living person. All because I spoke out about the abuse of my grandchildren!
Yeah. I was basically called a “witch” after leaving a toxic church by the pastor after calling out his treatment of a young person and his mom. Needless to say, that pastor is no longer in leadership there.
What Boz says starting at minute 13:56 is EXACTLY what my husband and I experienced!!!
Why encourage people to stay in a church that hurt us? We cannot heal where the wound occurred, the trust necessary for healing is gone. Go to a police officer and file a report. Please! We think the church will protect us, and it does not want us to exist. Report, and let the law deal with it. It cannot be worse than the shunning that comes from people we believed loved us.
Thank you so much for this conversation. Spot on with so many topics.
The motivation to not lose community is so big. Especially in a small church with family members.
Exactly!
My husband and I became that healing pocket. The church did not want our healing pocket, and we were KICKED OUT, just in the way you guys described earlier.
Thank you! This was a blessing! Blaky
Thank you very much,i was almost thinking that i am mad man in my church,and you just said what i was feeling. God bless you.
Greetings from Serbia!
I’m the black sheep of my church, and I have a preacher who yells at me red faced and black-eyed. I don’t even feel much like a Christian anymore.
Leave that cult
I hope you have left ❤
If there is others receiving same treatment go to the police file a report get his platform shut down he isn't operating in the right spirit sounds like a narcist pastor abusing the flock
If you have a problem in a church, all you can do is leave, because no one cares.
There is truth in this sadly.
@@lesliesmith719 I had an incident with my grandson, so sad. Blessings.
@@jamessheffield4173 I am sorry to hear that. So much hurt and unfairness abounds.
@@lesliesmith719 I forgive them and pray for them, but I am now scared to bring any of my grandchildren to a church. Dod bless you.
@@jamessheffield4173 Please don't be afraid because that means you are letting THEM rule your life. Your grandkids deserve to be in a good church. Take care.
So much truth in what you guys shared. It is leaders of both sexes and elders and ministers who create this culture. You described our experience which led to us having to leave our church of almost a decade. Fear of loss of community and being marginilised and villified by church leadership is hurtful and damaging to ones sense of belonging and acceptance. This silences and alienates a believer and denies them true fellowship within that body of Christ. Best to leave and find yourself a group of believers who are full of grace and truth.
my family of origin!
Last night just before going to bed I discovered you had a youtube channel! It looks like it is new! I am so glad to see this. I hope you put a lot of your training on here. I would love to see you have Diane Langberg involved in some of your interviews.
Fantastic video! Leaders who bring these very troubling issues to light are the true heroes of the church. After listening to countless videos and stories like these , I just have to say. I think it's time we start calling cases of church abuse what they really are. And that's the devil seating himself in the temple of God causing the "desolation" of the church .Church abuse cases are nothing more than the devil impersonating himself as a pastor or angel of light and causing havoc on the flock..If a leader isn't willing to repent or acknowledge he did wrong, we have to ask ourselves does the Spirit of God live in him?
This was a very healing conversation. Thank you!
Exactly! What Boz says at minute 27!
Thank you for this you tube, exactly what I needed to hear today!
Thank you. This is the most loving message I’ve heard in a long time.
Wow. This is so true. An important to discuss.
Excellent talk.
Thank you for the excellent work you do. We are grateful for reports that your organization has completed. It is fair amd thorough and has uncovered some tragic events that have happened at Churches here in Pennsylvannia and sime recommendatiins for churches whose leaders have failed to protect the youngest and most vulnerable communicant members of a church in Philly.
May God bless you!
What kind of abuse are we talking about? There's subtle where private concerns are then "preached" about in a sermon. Or blatant abuse such as sexual? There's also gossip, so I wished you had brought this up as many listening don't have words to express why they felt abused . Sexual is another thing, pretty explicit.
I love G.R.A.C.E. but we have got to get better audio quality, I beg of thee
I have prayed for lots of pastors whose family was from Germany for a deliverance from a nazi spirit -
Preaching to the choir
And it’s getting a little weird. This is a peaceful small town where nothing ever happens and violence is rare. This church has only about 40 members tops yet they have put in an extensive security camera system and they have an armed guard at the door standing guard during the service when all they really need to do is keep the door locked. I wonder what they are so afraid of.
That is scary.
Excellent!!
This is great! Thanks for speaking out about this and helping the church recognize it. Other good resources are Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse by Oakley and Humphreys and When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by DeGroat.
I have a preacher who yells at me red faced and black-eyed whenever I mess up in anyway. And it seems that he rubs my nose in my mistakes like a puppy dog. I feel a lot less than a Christian now.
Get away from him, that’s abuse, domination and manipulation. It’s NOT LOVE! He’s messed up and broken probably has child hood trauma as well. I haven’t seen a lot of that in England.
Why are you still going there?
There is just such a church here in central Florida the Senior pastor is extremely narcissistic fired many who questioned his choices such as plagerizing his messages and a lot of other egregious acts. We've all been slandered gossiped about betrayed and fired. He then writes resignation letters which are complete fabrication and reads them from the pulpit. He also has security spying on staff volunteers and members as well as trolling social media. He also forces staff etc to visit his appointed therapist who then violates hippa and shares all of the sessions with this S.P. .
Great video.
One name: John MacArthur
What is TOV?
It means goodness in Hebrew
They use either their good deeds as a promition or their childhood experiences as excuse! Psychotherapists help them supporting the narrative that everyone is victim. In these groups they do not deserve forgiveness or understanding.
12:45 🙌🙌
You really should have explained what a 'pocket of TOV' is - I have no idea what you're referring to.🤷
What is tove?
It is a relief that this man believes and preaches on how toxic Christianity and Catholic have become. I have realized that nothing is ever what it seems. "Kingdom is God, the Kingdom is "within" therefore the God is within. We all need to start looking within instead of outward. Books have been altered, and removed. The word crucifixion was not translated correctly. The fact that King Misha had victory over Isreal and erected the Moabite Stone (Yahweh) (Jesus) Misha means deliverance. This is when the foreign gods were denied and Yahwah was created. Calling themselves God because they celebrated victory over another person's land. This was when Judaism was created.
A narcissistic pastor should and can be removed not tolerated. The due process of Matt 18 needs to be applied or this sin of pride will leaven in the church. It doesn't honor God to create TOV and ignore sin.
Toxic environments are usually a result of the divide created thru a system of laity and deity. Also we have to recognise that toxic environments need to be carefully investigated . This discussion is slanted in the sense that all toxicity is due to pastors. As much as members can become victims of toxicity in n church culture so also pastors . Moses was a victim/target of his own people as well. Discussion needs to be more balanced
The perfect church on Earth does not exist and you cannot make the perfect church. If you can prove me wrong and find this church DO NOT JOIN IT!!! If you do you will spoil it.
Nobody is talking about a perfect church.
I would not look for a perfect church, but I would definitely look for a genuine church.