Being a single Mormon after divorce
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- Опубликовано: 20 ноя 2019
- In this episode, Kwaku talks with the amazing Lauren about her divorce as a young adult.
Divorce at any age isn't always easy. And when divorce happens shortly after marriage, there are a lot of social stigmas that follow the separated couple (especially in religious cultures where marriage is so heavily emphasized).
In this episode, Lauren talks about how she grew closer to her family and became more spiritually strong. She had to rely on those closest to her and learned the importance of the relationships with her close friends and family.
Lauren, thank you for being on the show with us, you are remarkable!
What did you learn from Lauren's story? Let us know in the comments below!
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My husband left my suddenly 6 weeks after we got married. He just wake me up one morning and told me he wanted a divorce and blocked me form all platforms except sms.. Here in Norway you have to be separated in 1 year before getting a divorce, so it is a long process. He left God and me at the same day. I am not a member of your Church, but my church is also against divorce as far as possible, so I was so scared and all messy when I talked with my pastor on the phone that day, and he was so clear and direct with me about everything that happened, and I will not share “everything” here, but my pastor was clear about God and His love for me, and that the divorce was “okay” for God, there was nothing I could do. I come from a divorced family, but my dad was very abusive so I have always been glad and proud of my mom to leave him, but my divorce was not the same, so it was hard. God knows, and yes it it hard to be a young single divorced person, but I at least are thankful for all God saved me from with letting the divorce happened. Thank you for sharing. Love from Johanne, Norway
It's all going to work out. Just remember to ask for help . 💛🧡❤💜💚💙
Gud vaer med deg :)
EatPlums Thank you for the nice comment, and be safe in this time 💕🙏🏼
I’m so glad to see someone talking about this! Divorce is rarely talked about in the church as it is so taboo, especially when it comes to young couples. My ex left me about a year and a half ago, and honestly it was the best thing to happen for my own testimony and personal growth. It was extremely hard, but it brought me to the place I need to be, and to the blessings Heavenly Father had in store for me.
I needed to her that.
cause your not suppose to
What the heck, Kwaku is super lost in this interview and asks such odd questions. I don't think it's disrespectful like other people are saying, but it's super awkward.
You have given me courage! Thank you for answering my questions of my heart. I felt prompted to look up RUclips for help. The first video that I found is this one. I had the feeling of weight being lifted. Thank you.
Divorce sucks, even when it's necessary. It's so hard. And it takes soooo much faith, and courage. (Which can be hard when you feel broken.)
My heart goes out to any and all who've ever endured the effects of divorce. It's a definite blessing though.
You're right
Laurn and Kwaku you are awesomeness. Thanks for doing this interview. Your both inspirations to alot of people.💙💚💜❤🧡💛
My wife divorced me and I didnt get to be a real influence on my kids as they grew up. They all left the church. I was devastated, thinking my life was over. I moved to a ward where there was a lot of divorced and remarried members. i felt more comfortable.
My kids are grown up, still inactive,but its their life. Still see them when I can.
i feel better about myself though and looking forward to getting married some day.
Jesus suffered more than I ever will. He still loves me and eases my pain.
I aim to make it better second time around.
I feel your pain. Hope things are going better for you
I've given up on dating at 28 I just chill with the elderly adult ward.
About to turn 30, I still do ysa activities around here, but I go to my family ward instead.
The hard thing is you can totally receive a witness that you are supposed to marry a person but since that person has their “agency” they might not ‘choose’ to be who they should’ve and could’ve been. Even after years of hoping and praying that you can keep it together with this person they have their agency and there’s nothing we can do about someone else’s agency ☹️ Sooo we’re forced to make a choice in response to that that we otherwise would not choose and the Lord understands and supports us when we’ve done all that we can and still nothing changes for the better etc etc
We are here to have joy and if that person is destroying it because of their agency - then the hard hard choice!! 😔
I was also divorced in my early 20s in Provo. It was very liberating. I had no kids back then. Only I wasn't at all concerned about what others thought. I counted it as a point of experience in my favor.
P.S. Served my mission in Russia.
Totally didn't know that Lauren was divorced! First person my age that I've seen. To the next one, may they be the best and the last!
Kwaku and Lauren y'all just need to get together already. Haha😃
Heather Luna he’s a gay
@@Dreammaster695 There's a little bit of gay in everyone. Yep💛🧡❤💜💚💙😀
Too bad. I bet he could make her yell "hail Kolob!"
I'd canoe her.
Thanks for sharing your story sometimes we waste time on people who doesn't deserve it
You two keep me laughing. Is your breath bad... so funny I need to get a tooth pulled and my kids keep saying that to me .Hahahaha 💙💚💜❤🧡💛
Her story never seems to add up. In PME, she says she rarely talks about her divorce but that’s all she ever talks about. Then she says it was so hard cause she had no one to turn to, but now she’s saying she had her fam and so many friends. And finally, during her date with Jake, she said her ex delivered divorce papers on Valentine’s Day (Ouch, if that’s true), but then claims that she choose to get a divorce. Seems a little disconnected.
It's fake news
Divorce is easy for women. Everybody takes their side and assumes they were the innocent victim- and within the church, support networks are everywhere. In contrast with how the church treats divorced men like absolute pariahs. Hence why over 90% of females stay LDS after a divorce and less than 10% of men do.
Never heard a divorce story that goes smoothly. Pain and trauma can twist memories though.
He totally could have delivered divorce papers to her. What happens is that one spouse files a petition for the divorce and has to serve the papers to the other spouse, and then that spouse gets to respond and serve their response to the petitioning spouse. I'm not sure but I think the process can keep going back and forth until they agree, or they can just settle their differences in court.
@@bridgeta. totally. I actually found her ex husband and messaged him about it. 😬😆 He said he did deliver divorce papers on Valentine’s Day, but that he asked her several days prior if that day worked and she said yes. Could be totally bs-ing me but he seemed like a chill guy
Otherwise known as "Kwaku tries ASMR." ...
You two are matching. Cuteness. 💗💗💗
She's gorgeous! !!!!! 😍😍😍😍
Not really. Cute.
Dude went right to the divorce without giving her the chance to tell her story. I couldn’t follow it because I have no idea who she is.
Yea when you get away from toxicity, your life actually improves. When I moved out I found peace again and in my new ward I feel happier and free and I'm a better dad to my son. Being around his mum simply feels toxic
Divorce is rough. I'm divorced and then you get to go to mid singles...
Ahhhh! Ok I'm still listening to this, so I'm still commenting.
Red flags are a definite issue that you HAVE to be aware of, when dating. (Which is hard when a lot of people hide those red flags, until you're emotionally invested...)
This next time around (whomever he is) I now know to make sure to pray pray pray like crazy!!!!
Even that doesn’t guarantee anything though. I prayed prayed prayed and nearly 10 years in my husband cheated on me.
What sort of doctrinal advice if any exists for a divorcee?
What about single parent dads???
How is divorce typically approached in LDS culture? Asking as an outsider
It’s a serious, hard thing, but sometimes it’s necessary. Like my amazing aunt, who had a divorce after her husband went psycho (I’m not dissing people with mental illness, he was just suddenly a bad guy, I won’t describe his mistakes). It’s not something you want to go through, but it’s not out of the question if truly essential.
Usually we try to avoid it at all cost because when you get sealed in the temple with your partner, your binded for eternity together. I’m not too sure of the specifics but undoing something as sacred as that would be quite the process. But at the end of the day, we’re all human and sometimes it’s necessary to. One thing I don’t like though, as Kwaku stated, the culture around it is a very peculiar one. And as sad as it is to see, there will be a lot of Mormons who will judge you for it. kind of ironic, because we aren’t suppose to 🤷♂️
This is such a good question, and it opens up a whole can of worms. Divorce is pretty common in the church, just like with everyone else. In my opinion, too many members of the church get married too young because they feel cultural pressure. Our doctrine about the eternal family makes it so that marriage is put on such a high pedestal that people feel like they are incomplete or not fulfilling their potential unless they are married and having kids. I'm in full support of the doctrines of the church, and I definitely believe that marriage should be on a pedestal to some extent, but rushing into marriage is unwise and it sets the marriage up for failure. There is this thing that church leaders often say, and I don't even know the original source, but it goes something like "any two people who are committed to Christ can have a happy marriage and work out their problems." So this leads to divorce being viewed as a shameful failure. Of course, divorce sucks and we should avoid it, but we shouldn't always consider it taboo because sometimes it is the best solution to a bad situation.
@@chrissessions6108 it was Gordon B Hinckley, he said any two good people can make it, or something to that effect 😊
Also curious.
You can only divorce yourself...my famous last words....hahaha😄
Kwaku is a riot
As someone who divorced in my 20's I thought they were good questions. Not inappropriate or disrespectful. And this guy, Kwaku??, he seems the exact same as every other video. ALL OVER THE PLACE.
This is great but awkward in some parts
That’s not burgundy, that’s [not burgundy]
Is that Don Lemon's younger cousin?
Kwaku, part of my family is Russian and I am terribly offended. Jk
He was just being silly, thats his character. He wasn't serious.
Livingston Ward oh no I said jk
As funny as Kwaku is, Saints Unscripted always has to cover their butt for the people who don’t know he’s joking 😂😂😂
Not to mention the flag jokes didn't age well two years later.
I'm not Mormom & I've never been married but I was interested... until the chewing @ the beginning... next video...
Soooo many bad jokes. This was super awkward to watch. Not that this isn't an important topic. My wife was a young single divorced adult, and I know how hard it can be. That's why I was interested in this episode. I guess I didn't realize it was just going to be Kwaku flirting with this girl with awful stand-up material.
A lot of women go inactive during and after the divorce. I know men who reactivated some of these women and married them. They are now happily married and have children.
Hooooooow? Who are these men and where are theeey
There's really no such thing as a bad guy.. we are all children of God learning how to keep it together. We love ya Russians. It's just funnier if your Mormon making Mormon jokes and Russian making Russian jokes. Or Kwaku and making kwaku jokes. It's how some people relax. Hahah😃
I thought the marriage was for eternity ?
I could smell that mint
I met a lot of young married people at BYU. I also met a huge number of 21-22 year olds that had been through a divorce already. Church never talks about that. I've never been a fan of young Mormon marriage, because it so often leads to young Mormon divorce. I can't count all the under 25s in my stake I have seen get married and divorced in less than a year. And yet the church still insists on teaching people to marry as young as possible. I certainly won't be supporting this view when my son returns from his mission in 2023. I got married at 31, and, 22 years later we are still going. So much better to be older more mature, established, and stay together vs getting married so young and then enduring a divorce.
Wow dude why are you so always? Crush some? Hahah
First!
A lot of editing in this, very awkward and she sooo likes you Kwaku and seems you do to. It's a very serious subject.... needs the other presenters there too.
Pleasantly cringey from 8:20 - 9:20 😂
Please don't tell me you got divorced because he left the church, please please. Never choose a religion over another human's love
Kwaku... advice from an older guy. Quit trying to be funny, and give it the seriousness it needs to have a discussion about divorce. It's not all about you, and you're over-dominating this with random humor.
I remember asking my dad about his divorce as I was finalizing my own. I had people tell me to go out and party. He said it represented a failure of a committed relationship, and wasn't anything to celebrate. And I found my sentiments were the same. There was a hope and dream there at one time, and now there's heartache and pain. Hopefully through it all there's incredible growth within yourself.
I'd canoe her.
Kwaku can't a person tell the truth like she wants to.? You Kwaku seem to have to repent to God every day. Telling Laura that she doesn't have to say you don't have admit somethings that she was in.
I actually like the Russian government but thats just my French, scotish and dutch blooded opinion. never been to Russia yet.
Young people these days. Wowzers.
PapaKryptoss I’m about to do it..... ok boomer
This video is very unprofessional.
As a divorced young adult in the church, I dont this as disrespectful. You can tell they are friends. Also, Kwaku is a jokester, hence the joke about the "red flags." They were joking together, that's what friends do 😊 I enjoyed this episode
@@carraskye92 your personal experience doesn't constitute every personal experience. Your disagreement doesn't mean it wasn't disrespectful
@@James-zn4jl Easy there. No need to be so defensive or dismissive that she didn't find the episode offensive. Just because you might think it is, doesn't make it so. Everyone has a right to their own opinion.
@PeppaHasAPhatBooty again, it's obvious they are joking around as friends. I, thankfully, am not easily offended so I don't see the disrespect here. But thank you for reminding me that my experiences are not everyone's experiences, I had completely forgotten that not everyone goes through what I have gone through 🤷🏼♀️🙄😂
She's so thirsty to get married again she even thinks this guy's funny.
🙄
Please know that Joseph Smith is a false prophet and that the prophets in the bible preached Jesus Christ from Moses to Isaiah. Please leave this false gospel that preaches other god's when God says in his word that he's the only God and that there are none other and none before. "I the LORD, and no other; no God besides Me. I will gird you, though you have not known Me,"You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me" John 5:39 "For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me." John 5:46
Blasphemy, you go to hell if you divorce. Jesus cries.
Not if their 95 year old prophet dosent specificaly say so.
Seems like this video promotes divorces of inconvenience. Not very Christian. Matthew 19.9
Damaged goods, ewwwww
I hate it when video dont get to thew damn point without doign something annoying before it