I'm glad that venting is helpful for you and that we can offer support for you for me, even accidental misgendering still hurts because there's that disconnect from what others see and what i see honestly, people could just use non-gendered language and be totally fine, and trans/enby people will be more comfortable.
If someone is ever that rude on purpose, always remember they hate their life. You can even breathe, wait a second or two and go "awww you dont like your own life" and walk off ...or spill the drink on them and not buy anything 🤗
It hurts. It is wrong. Just have to ignore it. I have been lucky so far and have not been intentionally misgendered, at least as far as I can tell. When people who have known me for a long time misgender me, I kind of understand. It seems sometimes I get misgendered if I am interacting with a person who sees my birth name and/or my birth sex on a document. That is a good argument to change your name and all your official documents. When I first started my MtoF transition I thought I would not care much about being misgendered. After almost a year into my transition, it is becoming important to me to be properly gendered. Sam D. is the best!
I just have to say/share that I’m very grateful for you Sam, you gave me the courage to exist confidently as a transfeminine non-binary person and also to start HRT. So like, thanks or whateva 😭❤️.
Willful-ignorance to them is considered as something of virtue in their eyes. What I keep in the back of my mind is the adage of "Don't cast your pearls to swine"
Thats what i have begun doing. I spent a year asking people politely and trying to explain why its a big deal, but they dont care and they never made an effort, just excuses. Now i just call them the wrong thing right back, theres nothing more effective and i have exhausted my polite tank.
If you look male I might mistakenly say sir he him, I can’t read your mind but if you tell me then I call you the gender you told me- not hate speaking. How am I supposed to identify they/them unless I’m told?
This had nothing to do with someone using they them pronouns. Obviously someone will have to tell you if they use they them. But if someone's wearing a dress and full face of makeup and u repeated call them sir, your doing it on purpose to get them to lash out
in most cases people present pretty clearly how they want to be perceived/referred to. If there's ever any doubt in your mind or it's not clear, just don't assume! it's pretty straightforward
If gender is a social construct then the society decides your gender for you. You do not get to decide your gender if you did it wouldnt be a social construct it would be a personal psychological one. Humans are binary if you are nonbinary you are not human. It is ok to dress however you want. I will respect you no matter what costume you wear. You do not need a new gender to be a femboy or dress fem or whatever. You do not need a new term for yourself. You are not that important.
By that logic, If I see you as a lizard. It doesn't matter what you see yourself as. you're a lizard pretending to be a woman because that's how I see you. Gender has always been self Identity no one should be able to determine your gender Identity except you.
I'm glad that venting is helpful for you and that we can offer support for you
for me, even accidental misgendering still hurts because there's that disconnect from what others see and what i see
honestly, people could just use non-gendered language and be totally fine, and trans/enby people will be more comfortable.
I'm sorry you went through that. Your advice is solid. Keep slaying
If someone is ever that rude on purpose, always remember they hate their life. You can even breathe, wait a second or two and go "awww you dont like your own life" and walk off
...or spill the drink on them and not buy anything 🤗
It hurts. It is wrong. Just have to ignore it. I have been lucky so far and have not been intentionally misgendered, at least as far as I can tell. When people who have known me for a long time misgender me, I kind of understand. It seems sometimes I get misgendered if I am interacting with a person who sees my birth name and/or my birth sex on a document. That is a good argument to change your name and all your official documents. When I first started my MtoF transition I thought I would not care much about being misgendered. After almost a year into my transition, it is becoming important to me to be properly gendered. Sam D. is the best!
I just have to say/share that I’m very grateful for you Sam, you gave me the courage to exist confidently as a transfeminine non-binary person and also to start HRT. So like, thanks or whateva 😭❤️.
Willful-ignorance to them is considered as something of virtue in their eyes. What I keep in the back of my mind is the adage of "Don't cast your pearls to swine"
Thanks for the advice!
I miss gender right back at them.
Thats what i have begun doing. I spent a year asking people politely and trying to explain why its a big deal, but they dont care and they never made an effort, just excuses.
Now i just call them the wrong thing right back, theres nothing more effective and i have exhausted my polite tank.
I’m sorry. Just walk away is good advice. Stay positive. ❤
You're like a long lost uncle/aunt that I've always/should've known.
Yo, the Sam Downey discord server is fucking sick!
-Sophie
Much respect back to you. I really appreciate these videos and your outlook on this, it really helps.
Couch time with Sammy!
thank you for the advice and thanks for sharing this Sam❤ you're amazing
New video!!
If you look male I might mistakenly say sir he him, I can’t read your mind but if you tell me then I call you the gender you told me- not hate speaking. How am I supposed to identify they/them unless I’m told?
This had nothing to do with someone using they them pronouns. Obviously someone will have to tell you if they use they them. But if someone's wearing a dress and full face of makeup and u repeated call them sir, your doing it on purpose to get them to lash out
in most cases people present pretty clearly how they want to be perceived/referred to. If there's ever any doubt in your mind or it's not clear, just don't assume! it's pretty straightforward
If gender is a social construct then the society decides your gender for you. You do not get to decide your gender if you did it wouldnt be a social construct it would be a personal psychological one. Humans are binary if you are nonbinary you are not human. It is ok to dress however you want. I will respect you no matter what costume you wear. You do not need a new gender to be a femboy or dress fem or whatever. You do not need a new term for yourself. You are not that important.
By that logic, If I see you as a lizard. It doesn't matter what you see yourself as. you're a lizard pretending to be a woman because that's how I see you. Gender has always been self Identity no one should be able to determine your gender Identity except you.
tbh its fine to have opinions but when people restrict it as "hate speech", that becomes a problem.
👍NEW❤VIDEO❤✌🏻
You're so cute and prettyyy!!! 🥺🥰❤️
❤NIW❤VIDEO❤
❤❤❤😊🙂🤗🤔👋👍✌🏻💯❤
❤❤❤😊🙂🤗🤔👋👍✌🏻💯❤