Chappell's voice is wildly good, channelling 80's sounds in a really cool way. In 'good luck babe', on the bridge, she shifts from a deep Kate Bush chest voice into a Cyndi Lauper sound, then back into KB - and I don't mean copying/mimicking, because she is absolutely Chappell throughout it. In 'after midnight' she has a cool 70's disco sound and it's full of cheekiness and mischief.
Alayna - watching you panic in the last hour before a big thing goes live is SO FRICKIN RELATABLE. This happens to me every. Single. Time. But I realized the other day that lately, every thing that ends up being amazing and life-giving to me, i have an absolute anxiety panic RIGHT before it happens, questioning every single thing... so, thank you for letting us see this part, because it definitely made me feel less alone! But you and your huge new project are doing SO great and we're all here for it!
Thank you for the very thoughtful answer to this week's question - it was great how you addressed different angles of it (consent, attraction spectrum, reciprocity of touch). Also - therapist here. And ever since grad school, I have NEVER trusted a person in this field who doesn't have their own therapist. There's even a pretty famous RUclips therapist who revealed last year that they'd never been in therapy, and it made me lose 95% of my respect for this person. I would say that the biggest reason not to date a therapist in the last several years is simply burnout, though. Therapists got hit HARD with the pandemic, and a lot still haven't recovered unfortunately.
do you sometimes just sit back and think, wow, how beautiful it is that these three amazing human beings somehow came to the idea of starting this podcast?! just genuinely good, decent people i can’t imagine anyone else doing the pod as a host you guys have such a good harmony thank you three from the bottom of my heart 🤍🤍🤍
Yes. There is different kind of attractiveness. I have "mixed orientation" with aesthetic attraction and sexual+romantic attraction. If I find you aesthetically attractive (feminine presenting people), I admire you, but somehow you are automatically friendzoned. This was very confucing for me for years. How can I be (almost selectively) very aesthetically attracted to feminine presenting people, but never find them sexually or romantically attractive? 😁 It is just how I am build. But yeah, also, I have never had celebrity crushes, movie character crush etc., because I need to have at least a discussion with you before I can feel sexual attraction...so, I don't care too much about looks. Loving how my partner looks will always grow on me over time. I will appreciate totally different things than I would if I was not in love with them.
I also had the moment of wow, this is awesome. I would have been sent away had I come out in high school and hearing that this person not only has friends that are supporting them but also 3 older women to ask questions to and get genuine thoughtful answers to makes me tear up.
Focus on the 80% that make a difference, and don't sweat the last 20%! That's great advice. It's mostly the "doing" that matters, and not so much the quality of the little details.
Loved the conversation today! It was such a lovely vibe today..you all should be proud of yourselves and accomplishments 💪 And Ladies ..please work on letting Mak finish speaking 🤫
So happy to hear about the positive reviews of your show Ashley! Also seconding what Alayna said, I'd love to see a taping if you decide to release one.
I’m so happy I randomly discovered you guys. You make me properly burst out laughing ❤ In the sea of straight people around me, this is exactly what I needed currently. Just gay banter.
Mac saying she focuses more on what nice thing she can do for her girlfriend today, or how she can make her girlfriend laugh today, was a real wake-up call for me. (And Alayna looking like a proud mom made me giggle!)
For the listener question - looks are based on perception and become a mix of how we view people visually and emotionally. I've met people who fit the "attractive mold", but after dealing with their terrible personalities, they appear less attractive to me. The opposite is true, too. If somebody is average looks, but has an awesome personality, that level of attractiveness will grow. To that end, here's my advice: 1 - find ways to build your personal view of yourself. Focus on your personality, communication skills and finding a personal style that feels good to wear. Imagine stepping outside yourself and look at your actions and reactions from an outside view. Is there anything that bothers you which you would like to change? For example, I didn't listen to people to understand them, I was focusing on my response while they talked. I can change that behavior because it wasn't serving me or others. 2 - learn to be your own friend first. If you're experiencing a lot of internal negative talk, learn to argue with yourself. Imagine that internal voice is a friend of yours, would you agree with a friend who was down talking their attractiveness? Or would you be like: "you look amazing and you're such a good and supportive friend"? You have more control over that inner voice than you realize. 3 - Start a simple daily affirmation practice. I started this in High School and it changed my self-confidence for the better. It started as me verbalizing a few basic ideas first thing in the morning. It was along the lines of: I'm capable, I'm happy, I'm a good friend and I feel good in my body. I eventually started looking in the mirror to do it and it really works. 4 - if there is something about your looks that you can easily control that isn't serving you, change it. Maybe a fresh haircut/color or changing up your make-up routine or getting a few fresh pieces of clothing in a new style can work wonders on your view of yourself. 5 - High School and your teen years are supposed to be awkward, they do not last forever, which is the best part. You have a ton of life ahead of you to learn and grow. Focus on having fun in your first relationship. They wouldn't be with you if they didn't find you attractive!
That listener question is so sweet! Ashley's right, there's been studies! I was so worried about this that I once asked a friend who knew us both. I told him to be honest with me & tell me if she was out of my league. He answered that she wasn't, & as I promised him that day, he got the first cup of beer champagne at our wedding (yes, that's a thing, which is lucky because I didn't know that when I promised him). And if you've initiated the first 2 kisses, you are now the default kiss initiator. I don't make the rules, and I have no idea who does, but congratulations
💯therapists often think they know better about your life experiences than you would because they read a book that explained trauma to them 🤯 Alayna is right to say people become therapists because they have their own issues, and that can definitely effect their practice in an unhealthy way. I'd like to add though that therapists who have done the work to heal from trauma can make much better therapists (in my opinion) than ones who haven't had to navigate difficult situations in their personal life.
Hannah Gadsby of all people knows what its like to be excessively, vehemently and internationally piled on, as far as I remember there was a whole Dave Chappelle thing where he went on a rant targeting how Hannah's Nanette special and their work isn't actually comedy (which is wild) and directed a LOT of his fans misogynistic hate her way
Oh Man, on fearing they are not attractive enough. What is being said really is they believe either their partner is lying to them when they tell them they love and care for them or whatever; or that the other person is just deluded. I don't think those of us with insecurities really think of it that way. It helped me. Really, what it comes down to is either I trust my partner finds me attractive for their reasons or they don't. If I can't trust that, than I shouldn't be dating, it will always undermine my relationships until I deal with my own insecurities.
Loved this episode, and I love this podcast. Look forward to every episode and always have a laugh and take something away from it - thanks for sharing
she’s also human with her regular amount of trauma and toxicity, like everyone else. Don’t idolize her. She’s not a “different kind of human”; she’s perfectly human
@@Backpackguy12 of course she is. i’m not one to idealize celebrities, but that aside, that’s exactly what i meant - she manages to lead a life that’s so normal given the circumstances and stays down to earth and doesn’t let it all consume her. she stays true to herself and her morals and opinions, and that is something to look up to and be in awe with. she’s human in the most human way possible and that’s exactly what i meant by ‘a different kind’, i don’t know why you jumped to the conclusion that i think she’s perfect or something, i really don’t. i think it’s amazing how she stays herself and doesn’t play into the whole parasocial side of it all as much as possible. she does have a chance of changing the industry by starting a sort of a movement among artists, especially new ones - to demand respect where it’s due and basic level of decency
Ashley, people who don’t recognize your talent and the beauty of you as a person can F THE F OFF you are a talented, good-hearted, fierce, beautiful woman
Alayna, the patreon banner looks great. The couch doesn't look too cartoony. The only thing I could nitpick is maybe bringing the center text up like a quarter inch so it's not sitting right on top of your profile pic. It looks very clean and professional though.
i personally LOVE that chappell isn't taking bullshit from paparazzi, superfans, stalkers, etc. i hate when celebrities are so heavily PR trained that they don't even feel like real people. chappell is being real, vulnerable, raw, and it's awesome because no one should ever have to deal with stalkers and scary interactions, no matter how famous they are.
Re: the hair theory: Correlation is not causation! Also: Confirmation bias. :) Just because having a recognizable brand/hairstyle is helpful to get known as a singer, does NOT mean that people get famous 'as soon as' they pick a specific hairstyle. We're just seeing all the ones that this worked for. But we never hear from all the not famous artists with recognizable brands, cause they are not famous.
Yea, to me it makes more sense that the hair style becomes iconic because that's what the artists looks like during her break through rather than the other way around.
I wonder what a redo of Chappell Roan on your WHGS podcast would look like. Because correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t she one of the ones you implied was more difficult because they pretty much gave you nothing? I wonder if she’d be more active in the conversation if she did it again
First relationships are always... awkward... then again... most relationships start as awkward. You find your groove... someday if you are compatible. As for feelings of "I'm not X enough..." welcome to the human race. We all feel that at some times over things. The key (if there is one) is to be you. They chose you before you started to "try" so there is something they like. You can say, "I'm out of shape, I should exercise more" but don't say, "They want me to be more X so I need to change" - you can't please everyone all the time, be the best you that you can be BY YOUR standard and they people who are good for you will accept you. No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect, you can always improve something but that doesn't mean you can't be happy.
To the person asking the question: it's normal to not feel attractive when you are a teenager. I've known people who were considered the most attractive person in our grade/highschool and they were very insecure about their appearance, weight, shape of their legs. It's wild how different our self perception vs the outside perception can be. So, take time to know yourself, pick things that you like about yourself or that other people have mentioned they consider nice/attractive about you and try to embrace it. For ex. I know I'm not the most attractive person (never have been, objectively) but I know what my good qualities are and I build from there. Also, what the family mentioned about the other person being insecure or shy, it may be possible that they see you as more assertive/bold and they expect you to make the moves. You can suggest or simply communicate that you also need to feel wanted by them, or for them to initiate sometimes in order to feel that way. Teen years are a hell of their own when you don't know how to express yourself and your needs sometimes, and it takes time to get that knowledge and the confidence to do it. Anyway, try to communicate as best as you can, embrace your good qualities and enjoy your first relationship ❤❤
18:21 yes! Listening to WHGS a while back was when I discovered Chappel. Ashley mentioned naked in Manhattan and I immediately looked it up and fell in love - so THANK U!!
To the patreon who asked the question, I felt ugly my entire teens, but I pulled girls way over my looks, and had many relations, but the absoulute best relation I had was with a girl no one else thaught was pretty, in my eyes she was the prettiest girl in the world, and she was funny, caring, intelligent and the best little cuddlebug I ever met. Many years later I got told that I was regarded as good looking during those years, so I asked the council of ex girlfriends, and they all agreed that I was among the ones concidered good looking, but yoi know what, beuty fades, now I'm not young and pretty, but the girls that was funny and intelligent still is....
RE: the last bit conversation... I'm a millennial (1990) and I grew up in Italy, which is generally very "behind" and yet I did not feel like I had to hide my crush/relationship in high school, and even in middle school when I first had doubts i might like girls too, I was panicked but the first thing I did was talk to my besties... sure Bologna is very progressive, and my school was quite lefty, but I would imagine NYC being it way more, I guess I've just been very lucky, or maybe I'm just reckless, tbf I can never keep it a secret when I like anyone, I just have 0 filters lol
Re closeted relationships in high school: I was in a catholic school so we were hiding from the school staff and our families but in our friend group everyone knew. Funny how you brought up Taylor Swift as a counter example for Chappell because she sets zero boundaries to please her fans, yet she just released an album this year that’s all about how fame sucks. I promise you she has just as much a public/stage persona vs personal life as Chappell they just both have the same name. But hot take, that might change soon!
hmm, it's interesting because i have similar insecurities to the listener but i'm in my 30s and it's rooted in experiences with women who acted like they were into it but then reversed course. (one concluded she was straight after an extended situationship, one said she wasn't attracted to me but her reason for rejecting me was more complex, one was enthusiastic and we were working through each other's insecurities until she switched her meds and didn't want anything to do with me.) the most recent experience, with someone pretty quickly switching from reassuring me that my insecurities were irrational to embodying those fears is just... a tough one for my to deal with as i go forward in dating. i want to trust that anyone who's dating me wants to be there, but wanting to be there one day doesn't mean they won't wake up the next day and be like why tf am i with this girl? i really believed that my insecurities were irrational and i was getting past them, just to realize maybe i was actually picking up on something real the whole time.
"fame is a form of cannibalism because we devour the stars." And then I was happy to remain obscure 😅 probably because I keep changing my nonspecific hairstyle 😧🤣
I completely forgot about how Alayna and Mak didn't know who Yo-yo Ma was. Mostly bc it is hard to believe. Definitely Aubrey Plaza. I wouldn't recognize Addison Ray but I know the name and she does tiktok and is getting into music. I feel like its more like when Disney and Nick had all their stars do music and some were good and some were not so much. Of course tiktokers are going to get into the same thing.
Well I don’t think Mak was saying she should have ONLY noticed Addison Rae. But since Mak has such a TikTok footprint, it’s not surprising she was disappointed she didn’t see Addison Rae.
friendly reminder to everyone that just because ashley is on first name basis w chappell doesn’t mean we are! she’s made it very clear that she doesn’t want fans using her name so pls continue to respect that ❤
alayna for your banner I'd recommend changing the typephase and removing the outline of the letters makes it look too jumbled and hard to read. otherwise love the colours:).
chappell setting the standard and protecting her boundaries is the definition of femininomenon
so proud of her
99th episode with 99 thousand subs, very epic
We'll stay tuned for next week
99 thousand bottoms.
Hell yeah!
Whenever I need to be edged I just watch a Chosen Family pod and wait to see if they actually answer a question.
LMFAO
Maddie, is that you 😂
@@sunnydays9144 No, but like her I am also a gay virgin.
“thoughtfulness is a flex.” alayna really does sound like our mom
"Did you hurt your teeffs?"
Please have chappell back on the whgs pod... love and respect her so much...wpuld be great to have an update from her
Chappell's voice is wildly good, channelling 80's sounds in a really cool way. In 'good luck babe', on the bridge, she shifts from a deep Kate Bush chest voice into a Cyndi Lauper sound, then back into KB - and I don't mean copying/mimicking, because she is absolutely Chappell throughout it. In 'after midnight' she has a cool 70's disco sound and it's full of cheekiness and mischief.
Alayna - watching you panic in the last hour before a big thing goes live is SO FRICKIN RELATABLE. This happens to me every. Single. Time. But I realized the other day that lately, every thing that ends up being amazing and life-giving to me, i have an absolute anxiety panic RIGHT before it happens, questioning every single thing... so, thank you for letting us see this part, because it definitely made me feel less alone! But you and your huge new project are doing SO great and we're all here for it!
Thank you for the very thoughtful answer to this week's question - it was great how you addressed different angles of it (consent, attraction spectrum, reciprocity of touch).
Also - therapist here. And ever since grad school, I have NEVER trusted a person in this field who doesn't have their own therapist. There's even a pretty famous RUclips therapist who revealed last year that they'd never been in therapy, and it made me lose 95% of my respect for this person. I would say that the biggest reason not to date a therapist in the last several years is simply burnout, though. Therapists got hit HARD with the pandemic, and a lot still haven't recovered unfortunately.
Which youtuber was it?
"Thoughtfulness is a flex" is such a cute merch tagline
do you sometimes just sit back and think, wow, how beautiful it is that these three amazing human beings somehow came to the idea of starting this podcast?! just genuinely good, decent people
i can’t imagine anyone else doing the pod as a host
you guys have such a good harmony
thank you three from the bottom of my heart 🤍🤍🤍
🤍🤍🤍 Was thinking the same thing
Love my wednesday morning routine
Edit: aubrey plaza is an icon. Sorry to addison rae but the first person i look at is aubrey
Eh i’m not sorry lol
attraction is such a spectrum for sure
like, there’s genuinely no non-beautiful person
none
you’re both beautiful and beautiful to someone
Yes. There is different kind of attractiveness. I have "mixed orientation" with aesthetic attraction and sexual+romantic attraction. If I find you aesthetically attractive (feminine presenting people), I admire you, but somehow you are automatically friendzoned. This was very confucing for me for years. How can I be (almost selectively) very aesthetically attracted to feminine presenting people, but never find them sexually or romantically attractive? 😁 It is just how I am build.
But yeah, also, I have never had celebrity crushes, movie character crush etc., because I need to have at least a discussion with you before I can feel sexual attraction...so, I don't care too much about looks. Loving how my partner looks will always grow on me over time. I will appreciate totally different things than I would if I was not in love with them.
I also had the moment of wow, this is awesome. I would have been sent away had I come out in high school and hearing that this person not only has friends that are supporting them but also 3 older women to ask questions to and get genuine thoughtful answers to makes me tear up.
“Mumble core whisper singing” the perfect way to describe that music, 10/10 hilarious
Focus on the 80% that make a difference, and don't sweat the last 20%! That's great advice.
It's mostly the "doing" that matters, and not so much the quality of the little details.
The attraction question was cute. I like how we got a what did we have for dinner but no introductions today. Switching things up.
tbh I’d rather them forget entirely than do that mid episode guilty thing like “we didn’t do the intros!” 😅
I’ve been ready for this for hours
I had to look up Addison Rae, and I'm going to have to agree with Ashley's assessment regarding her talents.
Loved the conversation today! It was such a lovely vibe today..you all should be proud of yourselves and accomplishments 💪 And Ladies ..please work on letting Mak finish speaking 🤫
i encountered chappell first in Ashley's podcast WHGS and i'm so happy for that ☺
wait that’s so cool!
The interview where Chappell talks about clocking off that Alayna was talking about is with Drew Afualo
Lol I thought Dave chapelle
So happy to hear about the positive reviews of your show Ashley! Also seconding what Alayna said, I'd love to see a taping if you decide to release one.
I’m so happy I randomly discovered you guys. You make me properly burst out laughing ❤ In the sea of straight people around me, this is exactly what I needed currently. Just gay banter.
This sums up the therapy topic at the beginning: “the problem with fixers is fixers never fix themselves” 🎶
Mac saying she focuses more on what nice thing she can do for her girlfriend today, or how she can make her girlfriend laugh today, was a real wake-up call for me. (And Alayna looking like a proud mom made me giggle!)
For the listener question - looks are based on perception and become a mix of how we view people visually and emotionally. I've met people who fit the "attractive mold", but after dealing with their terrible personalities, they appear less attractive to me. The opposite is true, too. If somebody is average looks, but has an awesome personality, that level of attractiveness will grow. To that end, here's my advice:
1 - find ways to build your personal view of yourself. Focus on your personality, communication skills and finding a personal style that feels good to wear. Imagine stepping outside yourself and look at your actions and reactions from an outside view. Is there anything that bothers you which you would like to change? For example, I didn't listen to people to understand them, I was focusing on my response while they talked. I can change that behavior because it wasn't serving me or others.
2 - learn to be your own friend first. If you're experiencing a lot of internal negative talk, learn to argue with yourself. Imagine that internal voice is a friend of yours, would you agree with a friend who was down talking their attractiveness? Or would you be like: "you look amazing and you're such a good and supportive friend"? You have more control over that inner voice than you realize.
3 - Start a simple daily affirmation practice. I started this in High School and it changed my self-confidence for the better. It started as me verbalizing a few basic ideas first thing in the morning. It was along the lines of: I'm capable, I'm happy, I'm a good friend and I feel good in my body. I eventually started looking in the mirror to do it and it really works.
4 - if there is something about your looks that you can easily control that isn't serving you, change it. Maybe a fresh haircut/color or changing up your make-up routine or getting a few fresh pieces of clothing in a new style can work wonders on your view of yourself.
5 - High School and your teen years are supposed to be awkward, they do not last forever, which is the best part. You have a ton of life ahead of you to learn and grow. Focus on having fun in your first relationship. They wouldn't be with you if they didn't find you attractive!
That listener question is so sweet!
Ashley's right, there's been studies! I was so worried about this that I once asked a friend who knew us both. I told him to be honest with me & tell me if she was out of my league. He answered that she wasn't, & as I promised him that day, he got the first cup of beer champagne at our wedding (yes, that's a thing, which is lucky because I didn't know that when I promised him).
And if you've initiated the first 2 kisses, you are now the default kiss initiator. I don't make the rules, and I have no idea who does, but congratulations
💯therapists often think they know better about your life experiences than you would because they read a book that explained trauma to them 🤯
Alayna is right to say people become therapists because they have their own issues, and that can definitely effect their practice in an unhealthy way. I'd like to add though that therapists who have done the work to heal from trauma can make much better therapists (in my opinion) than ones who haven't had to navigate difficult situations in their personal life.
Some therapists aren’t trauma informed in any way
Hannah Gadsby of all people knows what its like to be excessively, vehemently and internationally piled on, as far as I remember there was a whole Dave Chappelle thing where he went on a rant targeting how Hannah's Nanette special and their work isn't actually comedy (which is wild) and directed a LOT of his fans misogynistic hate her way
Oh Man, on fearing they are not attractive enough. What is being said really is they believe either their partner is lying to them when they tell them they love and care for them or whatever; or that the other person is just deluded. I don't think those of us with insecurities really think of it that way. It helped me. Really, what it comes down to is either I trust my partner finds me attractive for their reasons or they don't. If I can't trust that, than I shouldn't be dating, it will always undermine my relationships until I deal with my own insecurities.
OMG Hannah Gadsby shoutout!
So awesome that she's supporting Ashley
Ready for my walk to uni!
Loved this episode, and I love this podcast. Look forward to every episode and always have a laugh and take something away from it - thanks for sharing
Sorry who is Addison ray
"it maybe wouldn't be wierd, maybe just personal preference" 12:41 Mak should become a comedian!
chappell is a different kind of human. i will forever be in awe of her. 🤍
she’s also human with her regular amount of trauma and toxicity, like everyone else. Don’t idolize her. She’s not a “different kind of human”; she’s perfectly human
@@Backpackguy12 of course she is. i’m not one to idealize celebrities, but that aside, that’s exactly what i meant - she manages to lead a life that’s so normal given the circumstances and stays down to earth and doesn’t let it all consume her. she stays true to herself and her morals and opinions, and that is something to look up to and be in awe with. she’s human in the most human way possible and that’s exactly what i meant by ‘a different kind’, i don’t know why you jumped to the conclusion that i think she’s perfect or something, i really don’t. i think it’s amazing how she stays herself and doesn’t play into the whole parasocial side of it all as much as possible. she does have a chance of changing the industry by starting a sort of a movement among artists, especially new ones - to demand respect where it’s due and basic level of decency
Christ on a bike, the divorced force is STRONG in this one. 10/10
Ashley, people who don’t recognize your talent and the beauty of you as a person can F THE F OFF
you are a talented, good-hearted, fierce, beautiful woman
Alayna, the patreon banner looks great. The couch doesn't look too cartoony. The only thing I could nitpick is maybe bringing the center text up like a quarter inch so it's not sitting right on top of your profile pic. It looks very clean and professional though.
that’s okay alayna if you don’t know who addison rae is
i personally LOVE that chappell isn't taking bullshit from paparazzi, superfans, stalkers, etc. i hate when celebrities are so heavily PR trained that they don't even feel like real people. chappell is being real, vulnerable, raw, and it's awesome because no one should ever have to deal with stalkers and scary interactions, no matter how famous they are.
Re: the hair theory:
Correlation is not causation! Also: Confirmation bias. :)
Just because having a recognizable brand/hairstyle is helpful to get known as a singer, does NOT mean that people get famous 'as soon as' they pick a specific hairstyle.
We're just seeing all the ones that this worked for. But we never hear from all the not famous artists with recognizable brands, cause they are not famous.
Yea, to me it makes more sense that the hair style becomes iconic because that's what the artists looks like during her break through rather than the other way around.
@@nahadoth2087 agreed!
I agree with both of you. This seems like a textbook example of confirmation bias
I wonder what a redo of Chappell Roan on your WHGS podcast would look like. Because correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t she one of the ones you implied was more difficult because they pretty much gave you nothing? I wonder if she’d be more active in the conversation if she did it again
Ash and alaynas love quarrels are my favourite
Me knowing how to subscribe to their Patreon’s is terrible for my bank account
i DIED at thee aubrey blahblah bit. too accurateeee
Look I've never cared for Addison Rae but her new single Eats
I'm gonna see her live in 2 days. Im so excited ❤️
This episode is giving onomatopoeia and I’m here for it 🙃🤪❤
staying up till 3 am just to watch chosen family
First relationships are always... awkward... then again... most relationships start as awkward. You find your groove... someday if you are compatible.
As for feelings of "I'm not X enough..." welcome to the human race. We all feel that at some times over things. The key (if there is one) is to be you. They chose you before you started to "try" so there is something they like. You can say, "I'm out of shape, I should exercise more" but don't say, "They want me to be more X so I need to change" - you can't please everyone all the time, be the best you that you can be BY YOUR standard and they people who are good for you will accept you. No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect, you can always improve something but that doesn't mean you can't be happy.
To the person asking the question: it's normal to not feel attractive when you are a teenager. I've known people who were considered the most attractive person in our grade/highschool and they were very insecure about their appearance, weight, shape of their legs. It's wild how different our self perception vs the outside perception can be. So, take time to know yourself, pick things that you like about yourself or that other people have mentioned they consider nice/attractive about you and try to embrace it. For ex. I know I'm not the most attractive person (never have been, objectively) but I know what my good qualities are and I build from there.
Also, what the family mentioned about the other person being insecure or shy, it may be possible that they see you as more assertive/bold and they expect you to make the moves. You can suggest or simply communicate that you also need to feel wanted by them, or for them to initiate sometimes in order to feel that way.
Teen years are a hell of their own when you don't know how to express yourself and your needs sometimes, and it takes time to get that knowledge and the confidence to do it.
Anyway, try to communicate as best as you can, embrace your good qualities and enjoy your first relationship ❤❤
18:21 yes! Listening to WHGS a while back was when I discovered Chappel. Ashley mentioned naked in Manhattan and I immediately looked it up and fell in love - so THANK U!!
Wait that made me want to go check out the views on the special - 1 million views!!!
Loved this episode but the amount of cutting off was too much
Aubrey Plaza > Addison Rae and it isn’t even close
Almost to 100 eps!!!!
To the patreon who asked the question, I felt ugly my entire teens, but I pulled girls way over my looks, and had many relations, but the absoulute best relation I had was with a girl no one else thaught was pretty, in my eyes she was the prettiest girl in the world, and she was funny, caring, intelligent and the best little cuddlebug I ever met.
Many years later I got told that I was regarded as good looking during those years, so I asked the council of ex girlfriends, and they all agreed that I was among the ones concidered good looking, but yoi know what, beuty fades, now I'm not young and pretty, but the girls that was funny and intelligent still is....
RE: the last bit conversation... I'm a millennial (1990) and I grew up in Italy, which is generally very "behind" and yet I did not feel like I had to hide my crush/relationship in high school, and even in middle school when I first had doubts i might like girls too, I was panicked but the first thing I did was talk to my besties... sure Bologna is very progressive, and my school was quite lefty, but I would imagine NYC being it way more, I guess I've just been very lucky, or maybe I'm just reckless, tbf I can never keep it a secret when I like anyone, I just have 0 filters lol
That pod was the first id ever heard of Chappelle roan
22:26 some people need to go rewatch Hannah Montana, there's a reason she had a superhero identity style stage persona.
I have a wierd nose: this is my application to hook up with Jen! Accomodation in Rio included! Hahahaha I mean, for Ashley too!!
43:43 THE EYELASH TRICK WORKS
As a fellow Tasmanian, I love the love for Hannah Gadsby. We've really just got them and Errol Flynn who've made it big.
Re closeted relationships in high school: I was in a catholic school so we were hiding from the school staff and our families but in our friend group everyone knew.
Funny how you brought up Taylor Swift as a counter example for Chappell because she sets zero boundaries to please her fans, yet she just released an album this year that’s all about how fame sucks. I promise you she has just as much a public/stage persona vs personal life as Chappell they just both have the same name. But hot take, that might change soon!
hmm, it's interesting because i have similar insecurities to the listener but i'm in my 30s and it's rooted in experiences with women who acted like they were into it but then reversed course. (one concluded she was straight after an extended situationship, one said she wasn't attracted to me but her reason for rejecting me was more complex, one was enthusiastic and we were working through each other's insecurities until she switched her meds and didn't want anything to do with me.)
the most recent experience, with someone pretty quickly switching from reassuring me that my insecurities were irrational to embodying those fears is just... a tough one for my to deal with as i go forward in dating. i want to trust that anyone who's dating me wants to be there, but wanting to be there one day doesn't mean they won't wake up the next day and be like why tf am i with this girl? i really believed that my insecurities were irrational and i was getting past them, just to realize maybe i was actually picking up on something real the whole time.
Loved everything about this and chappell is so talented its crazy love her album its so good ❤
one at a time pleaseee I can't hear the wordsss
I love yall :)
Ashely looks so beautiful this episode! Wow!😍
Ashley drop the whole song when??
"fame is a form of cannibalism because we devour the stars." And then I was happy to remain obscure 😅 probably because I keep changing my nonspecific hairstyle 😧🤣
I love Hannah Gadsby! She us so funny as well as a pleasure to watch.
Aubrey Plaza. I’m sorry Mak, but I wouldn’t notice Addison either- 😭
I completely forgot about how Alayna and Mak didn't know who Yo-yo Ma was. Mostly bc it is hard to believe.
Definitely Aubrey Plaza. I wouldn't recognize Addison Ray but I know the name and she does tiktok and is getting into music. I feel like its more like when Disney and Nick had all their stars do music and some were good and some were not so much. Of course tiktokers are going to get into the same thing.
Well I don’t think Mak was saying she should have ONLY noticed Addison Rae. But since Mak has such a TikTok footprint, it’s not surprising she was disappointed she didn’t see Addison Rae.
friendly reminder to everyone that just because ashley is on first name basis w chappell doesn’t mean we are! she’s made it very clear that she doesn’t want fans using her name so pls continue to respect that ❤
Within a minute!
DR. Hannah Gadsby is an artist's artist. Congratulations to Ashley, you should be so proud of yourself!
My ex Wifes family was all working in the mental health field. They were not the healthiest people I've ever met
I don't have a mirror in my room anymore for a similar reason as Mak
Today you guys had Hot to Go Takeout, ran by Chappell Roan
I never knew you had chappel ob your pod
To add to the high schoolers question as someone in high school. They may also just be not conventionally attractive especially if they’re queer
Also the questioner just said they were "in high school" - they could be anywhere from 13 to 19 years old
27:45 Ashley saying she's your favorite comedian's favorite comedian
Ashley was totally right. I’ve literally never heard of Edison Addison Ray Rey Rae Reigh
I love these women. Protect them at all cost
alayna for your banner I'd recommend changing the typephase and removing the outline of the letters makes it look too jumbled and hard to read. otherwise love the colours:).
if it matters Im a degreed artist who's also a communications manager
heavy on what ashley said about addison rae😂😂😂
47:58 Papa Johns
Smartttt
I'm so sorry fam
I don't know who Aubrey Plaza OR Addison Rae are..
Alayna is on something else on this episode 😭
I’m with Ashley would look at Aubblahblahbla
I need an update on Anna...I mean the mystery woman 😩
i looooved the consent thing🤍
Delicious dinner tonight!!
It's not a good microphone if it doesn't have a dent
"She loves a weirdly big nose!" ... So, you're saying I have a chance.
Couldn't care less bout Addison Rae. Ur completely right ashley