She probably got really upset as if God didn't inform her early on that her husband was a cheater and he was doing these things behind her back. But God isn't the blame. It's her husband. That's who she should be really angry with.
I never understood why people bring God or the devil into situations like cheating. No one made the spouse cheat, the spouse cheated because they wanted to cheat.
i can think of a couple of reasons why she's still with him although surely she could've divorced and got a good payout. - she sounds foreign (australian) in a foreign country so he's probably her security blanket - their house looks palatial which means she leads a comfy life - there's kids involved all reasons surrounding financial security and living a comfy life that isn't uprooted.
@@vipkidteacherexactly 💯 because he craves the spotlight. Also Carl now works at another mega church that also has a famous pastor. He now works at Michael Todd's church in Tulsa, ok. I just don't think he has completely healed. I also think his wife thinks she can save him from his brokenness and it's sad.
Because most people look at their situation as if “God allowed it”. And since it came to pass, then they start blaming God for allowing the trouble they’re in. I’ve met many people who have thought this way throughout the years. It isn’t right but it’s how they feel about it.
He is betraying the loyalty that she gave to him as he should have reciprocated that loyalty back instead right ! But forgiving and learning from that is also a big choice. I've totally been here !
Cheating, being unfaithful , sex before marriage etc … are just fancy ways to say adultery. Please stop listening to people like her and her husband who DO NOT KNOW OR TEACH what the bible clearly teaches. Carl was called by MANY a false teacher for years !! His actions are merely fruit of this , don’t believe me - read the Bible. God doesn’t lie 🤔 , the bible contains countless blessings/ promises that God offers to those who follow , are obedient and persistent. No one is perfect but this is just 1 more example of the many false teachers that are in the church. Repent and believe taught throughout the New Testament ….
It's a good outcome. They are together, their marriage in tact and they say they are different people and I know it means they have grown through this difficult time.
What a good woman. I sure hope she’s not sacrificing herself in this marriage. God knows and will judge our sins in the final judgement. He will have to answer for them. His easy out was blame. She accepted that. It’s their life.
Lol but obviously god doesn’t magically reward or bless you for being a devoted spouse. Many Christians act like when things are good praise God and when they aren’t it’s the devil or your or something else. Like yes her Husband messed up but it’s okay to be mad at an all knowing and capable God it intervening
Has to do with how she views God. Seems like she assumes her life is totally controlled by Him rather than her or those she allows to control her life.
I'm calling B.S. A lot of men do this all the time whether they had childhood trauma or not. I'd say that is just a convenient excuse instead of owning your crap.
@@thelasthourgetready very true too...have had to deal with some wicked ones who claim to be Christian and/or "women's empowerment" but in the background totally different of course. I don't trust ANYONE any longer .
I think a better next question would have been "given the situation we're discussing, why would you describe him as loyal?". It was a missed opportunity as an interviewer.😞
My husband is a recovering alcoholic, porn addict, and gamer. God told me about 10 years into our marriage. I did not want to know and I argued with God. He came back again a few days later so I did. I confronted him. He was shocked and asked how I knew. When I told him “God told me” he knew he had to own up. After three years in intense therapy and a men’s group, and two years after that we finally started on healing the relationship. Today he is a caring, sensitive husband and it is nothing short of miraculous. Thank you Lord Jesus for forcing me to face the reality and then holding my hand along the painful way.
he didn’t say that at all. but im sure he would agree with your comment. it seems that it certainly did play a factor into his actions, however. i encourage you to watch/listen to their “Lights On” podcast for better understanding.
Anybody that got molested as a child knows exactly how it wires your brain and how it shows up in your adult sex life. It’s almost like you can’t shake it off. Ofcos there’s therapy and all the other things but it’s not that easy sometimes
If you knew you were hiding things and that you had sinful tendencies why don’t you step down as “pastor”, but no you loved the money and fame and attention
I agree, I try not to judge pastors that fall into infidelity. However, I never understand why they don’t step down and take a sabbatical and figure out what is going on with them.
@@Mbuyiselo5 that’s exactly how it should be but these so called famous pastors are truly not in it for the Gospel. It makes me sad and angry. Growing up the church used to follow biblical guidelines and not do their own thing.
It’s always “trauma”. Everyone has trauma of some sort. Does this mean the men who r@pe little girls get excuses because they were abused as a kid? Take accountability, you’re a grown man. Your trauma might’ve influenced you but it’s not a valid argument to hurt people. Let’s stop classifying people who kill people as being mentally unstable as a safe from jail card or those who were abused as a this is why I did what I did card. I’m pretty sure she’s still with him because her family isn’t local, he has the money (he was the famous one), and she doesn’t know that she deserves better.
why you not on women pages telling the to take accountability. In fact as a bw how about you go talk to sistas about taking accountability on the way the black community is lead
@neonpandas He took accountability. You missed the point. His journey and his story is about what broke him to become whom he became. That is all. It's called reflection and that's how you heal and transform and shift in being. Yes people can change when they hit rockbottom. No different from someone that goes to jail and hits rockbottom allowing self reflection and healing to become a new person. We are all human we all make mistakes. That's why we should not judge peoples journey. Some actions are worse than others yes and yes some maybe harder to forgive. But this is forgivable to his wife because there was real change. She is at peace, that says enough. We can all learn from this story of redemption. We all have an opportunity to become a new people and truly heal as long as we have the gift of LIFE. Self improvement should always be encouraged and applauded. Your attitude wouldn't give hope to anyone to become better people and make this world a better place. Compassion for people trying to change or changing should always be welcomed with an open heart and open mind.
@@gn8540 Would believe it more if he wasn't trying to get attention and get back into a leadership role again. More likely he is a charismatic sociopath than a changed man.
Hmmm, there are some other parts of this interview. The reason I'm having a hard time trusting this guy is because in the other interview he isn't taking accountability for his actions. And now in this segment, the wife is blaming God. This guy had more than a few indiscretions and I say shame on him because so many people trusted him
Good catch. His actions, particularly, are characteristics of sociopathy or Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Cluster B maladaptive behaviors that include a high degree of manipulation and lack of core empathy. They have this uncanny ability to garner support of enablers and flying monkeys, almost cult-like. This is because the environment around the narcissist or a charismatic sociopath is rife with cognitive dissonance. I think the great Maya Angelou was thinking about a narcissist in relation to cognitive dissonance when she famously said: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
@@joenewman6494clearly you don’t know God grace. He can change anything. We are human and unfortunately we make mistakes. It’s God to judge this man NOT YOU!
It is hard to leave abusive marriages, we all know that! She is not less because of that, but she is not more as well...she is stuck like a lot of us have been
she is trauma bonded to him, its not love this is codependence. using the words 'loyal' and 'faithful' to describe the father of your children who had multiple affairs and committed infidelity is beyond delusional. I hope she gets serious and sincere help rather than using word salad and 'spiritual bypassing' techniques of bypass the trauma. sad all around.
He is biding his time...waiting for things to settle down. Until she is not paying attention. Then he will start up the cheating again. When given the chance, he definitely will cheat again.
He was broken thats why he cheated on wife, family and church?? Excuses. Just say it. You were being a jerk, a cheater and lier. With no buts! Carl is a fame seaker. and no real remore here
I would say weaker and too dependent on him than to stand up for herself and leave! But traditional Christian values pressure the woman to stay married no matter what for better or worse I've even heard of some priests that feel you should stay married if you are being abused as if that is not a reason to leave! To me being unfaithful is a form of abuse, both emotional and physical as you are being exposed to potential STD's!
He still isn't accepting any responsibility for the so many accusations levelled against him. His response is his "leadership skills" when accused of sexual and mental abuse by former staffers and that excuse of i was abused as a kid so its manifesting in my life now as an adult is extremely lame and has that feel of somebody looking for sympathy. This guy should never ever be given a leadership role again in any format. The repercussions of his indiscretions leave a stigma on all Christian's all over the world.
I’ve experienced that my ex husband moved our kid’s and I too another state stayed for a year and then left us with nothing no car no money and no place to live so I had to go on welfare I worked 4 part time job’s until I could get full time and I pulled us out of the nothing he left us with there is so much more that was done to me in that time many thing’s I didn’t know about during our marriage. His mistress and her 3 children didn’t have to worry about a home or money because my ex husband was supporting them what helped me to deal with all of that was the fact we lived in different states I stayed in Wisconsin where he dumped us and he moved back to Illinois if I had to be around where they were or run into them I don’t know if I could have dealt with that. That happened in 1989 my kid’s are in their mid 40’s I’m 66 and retired and he is still married to the person he left us for and I moved back to Illinois but I don’t see them that much only for grandchildren thing’s and I am very cordial to her. But because of how he left us and I have never said anything to him about that it was so traumatic that it seems as if it were yesterday if I think about it I try not to but sometime’s it’s hard so I go on. 🙃
You are a strong woman and mama. ❤ my father did a very similar thing to my mom. She was a single mother of 4 kids. I don’t know how you women do it! I have so much respect for women like you and my mom. God bless.
Their comeback tour… is Jesus the center of their relationship? repentance? It’s all about the spotlight… the plan- lay low out of the spotlight… rebrand to regain the spotlight…. It’s a sad story.
Careful not to be like this woman. Forgiveness is a good thing, but there's something sinister about her reasons (I suspect). No one describes a liar, cheater, abuser as loyal. No one with proper sanity. This woman has issues or she's complacent in something... like loving fame and money. Why is she still chasing publicity after all she's been thru? Shouldn't she seek a private life, heal and move on? She's suss to me. I don't trust her.
Wow, it's amazing seeing these reactions. Have you guys walked through the healing process after being betrayed? I have, and the fact she's still alive after it is a credit to her alone. I'm glad I didn't have you guys around me when I did 🤔🤣
Having a second chance sometimes is staying away from the spotlight even if it’s bringing our “testimony” to heal others. Too fast Carl, unless the ego still needs people to see us even in a new color
Trauma has nothing to do with making the conscious decision to get married and the conscious decision to cheat. Those are independent of each other. If one is sincere they should take accountability for their actions and how it impacted others, not deflect.
You've clearly never had a hard dark day in your life yet, when you do you'll know the answer to that question. Unless you are the perfect Christian we all wish we were then maybe that's why you don't get it?
What a mug she was/is Look at him he looks very broken doesn’t he. She’s sobbing and no reaction and the interviewer reaches for the tissue not him. Not even a squirm as she expresses how she felt from his actions …. Yeh he’s changed alright. In your face truth … watch this space he will repeat and the feeling of betrayal will be the least of her worries then …
I have no idea how people can stay with their partners after this. I genuinely cannot imagine. My ex cheated once, I dumped him and move away. It’s been 3 years👏. My self respect is wayyyyy higher because I set a boundary and left. You’ll never ever get over that grief. Ever.
And he has but more of as a strategic church consultant? But not as a preacher. Which i think is prob the best role for him. But i agree preaching or any kind of leadership role is not for him. But he has a great opportunity to lead other men who have fallen or maybe still in sin to come out and be redeemed.
Many in the comment section are questioning their reasons for doing this interview. Are they trying to get back to their money-making lifestyle in another church? Is he telling the truth now? I'll say this, we all fall short in life and will need forgiveness and grace at some point. They're talking about what they went through because it's more about healing and ministering to other couples who have also gone through this than them trying to set up their next come-up. Try not to throw stones when in glass houses.
You can only rely on childhood trauma as an excuse to get you so far in life. At some point when you know better as an adult, you have to do better. not every childhood trauma victim continues to create chaos and mayhem in theirs and others lives with all the availability of counseling and support. There’s no reason to carry this burden but plenty of opportunities to face it and overcome it without hurting others or yourself any further.
Carl, you're forgiven and loved. Never stop fighting for your relationship with God. You are awesome and have an amazing wife. God bless you and your family
I’ve been looking for that comment! He sure is a narcissist, doesn’t seem to be able to empathize with his wife and the whole thing seems to be so much more about him rather than about the people who suffered from his behavior..
UNBELIEVABLE! The fact that he and his wife would go to the media and TRY TO CONVINCE the public that he is a victim?!?!? Their marriage is between them and them alone. It’s DESPERATE to share their pain and how Loyal he is?!?!?!?!!!!
Her dedication to church, kids, and marriage is NOT Gods fault . Anything a person does, is on them. Abuse DOES change brain chemistry, however, we also have free will
This is a weird comment, lots of men care about appearance, style, and staying fit for both their health and for how their wife/partner see them. I can't speak for Carl Lentz but I know many men who think of their wife as they did when they first married.
@@mve-i4r Nothing wrong with caring moderately. As I said, it's a red flag when they care THAT much (as you know they are trying to impress other women, not their spouse who already loves them regardless).
Broken and needed healing. If thats all he knew and worked and learned and grew from it then it speaks for itself. Ive been with mine 14 yrs and it does take alot of work.. consistently
@@christybradley9471Yeah, and you dont understand repercussions. They can be forgiven but don’t try to come back to the mainstream. We are done. Cause we have moved on. And wasn’t it only like 2 years ago this al happened. Now they are back on the circuit again. Give me a break.
Yuck. Yuck. He has not repented. Blaming his past. Yuck. Wearing a muscle shirt like a teen. She is in complete denial and detached from reality. We can see crystal clear.
This woman is a case study. Loyal? Really? Forgiveness is a good thing, and I applaud her, but she needs to find herself some self respect amidst her healing. Also, I can't wrap this around my head, when some Christians say they were or are mad at God, or they blamed or blame God. How do they do that? I'm not a perfect Christian, but I fear God to the extent that I could never have that audacity. Have they not read the Bible? The book of Job as an example? Are they ignorant to who God is? And what He is capable of? Are they not grateful for His Grace and the length of what He's done to hold Himself back from eliminating us? We have grace because Jesus stands between us and God. If not! Hey! What happened with the flood, what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, these will be small compared to what would have happened to us. Thank God for Jesus. I'm just in awe of this woman's audacity to blame God. She must not know the kind of power and might she supposedly claims to serve. Christianity is not always easy, we fail sometimes. But to blame childhood trauma is just low. You can't be a Christian (a true Christian, heck a whole pastor) for years and use childhood trauma as an excuse. Jesus either heals or He doesn't, and true Christians know He does. Take responsibility and stop pointing fingers like Adam. Out here on a pitty party media run 🤦♀️ this dude.
Cheater always have an excuse when they’re caught. When she cries it shows how broken she’s inside. Once trust is broken it’s never the same. We can forgive but never forget.
Laura, I admire your strength. There are many who have not experienced betrayal trauma that would never understand it. Esther Perel wrote a book called "Mating in Captivity" that really shatters people's perspectives on affairs and infidelity. Add in childhood sexual trauma and the entire thing becomes even more complicated (I understand that some think it's simply an excuse and perhaps at times it is) but it's also a very real and pervasive issue that changes and alters our behaviors. I also completely understand your use of the word loyal. Sex is an act, and to someone with past sexual abuse it serves a singular purpose-outside of engaging with someone they truly love. While Carl may have given some attention and his body to others (yes it's still wrong) his heart remained and remains with you. It's not the best analogy but I sometimes liken it to a rescue pup, they can love fiercely and loyally but may still have behaviors or traits that rear their ugly head every now and then-the same can be true for survivors like your husband. The old behavior of secrecy or lusting may rear it's head but if he's committed to not hurting you or your children he will make an effort to change. I hope people remember that judging you does nothing but harm. I don't judge anyone in this type of situation, it's hard to leave, it's hard to stay-either way it's your choice. Prayers for healing for your family.
How dare people condemn and judge this couple for being vulnerable and working out issues. We should all hope We Could one day show this level of Forgiveness and forbearance. This couple loves each other and wants to stay together. They know marriage is work. It’s modern society’s panic switch to just bail when it gets hard.
When they posed for a magazine photo, they were dressed like they were a Hollywood family with her cleavage completely popping out and him looking like he was a celebrity not the God honoring Christian family
I went to a Christian university and married a very religious man from a very religious family. I was a virgin on our wedding night. We had 3 kids. We were intimate the entire marriage. One day I stumbled upon evidence of YEARS of hookups. When confronted, he said he assumed we would “just go to counseling” if he got caught. He also said his dad did the same to his mom. And they just went to counseling. He said it was “unbiblical” of me to divorce him. I filed and left! I broke an evil family cycle. I really think she should have done the same. These Christian men use religion to hide and religion to preach forgiveness and repentance when they get caught. It’s evil. Demonic even
Going through the comments is wild. I hope people see the full podcast and look from another perspective that restoration like this brings hope to this broken world (and people). To see a family went through difficult times like what the Lentz went through and CHOOSE to face it together and turn that horror in to a legacy puts so much hope for restoration and redemption. Keeping this family in prayers. May this become a testimony to families going through the same horror and brokenness. There is still hope 🙏🏼
The biggest reason why I would never forgive a cheater is that he probably also lied throughout the relationship. Lied about his whereabouts, who called, who he is spending time with, maybe even who he is at core, his personality. Cheating requires logistical organization. Therefore, the biggest reason that I couldn't forgive a man like this is that I couldn't trust one word that is coming out of his mouth. Once trust is broken, it is over.
Loyal is not a word you use to describe a husband who has had multiple affairs.
When she said that, my jaw dropped to the ground. Is she for real???
My thoughts exactly
To me it reeks of having ZERO self esteem
I think Byron Pitts was a little lost for words himself. If I had been a journalist I would, very respectfully, questioned the usage of that word.
We need to learn how to forgive. Your leave them alone.
She’s clearly in denial
Bro was perplexed by her use of the word 'loyal' 😂
Right? I laughed out loud 😆
I am too!
Perplexed and befuddled 😆😆
Same! I had to rewind over and over, thought I needed hearing aids! 💀☠️
Why be mad at God? Your husband did it.
She probably got really upset as if God didn't inform her early on that her husband was a cheater and he was doing these things behind her back. But God isn't the blame. It's her husband. That's who she should be really angry with.
I never understood why people bring God or the devil into situations like cheating. No one made the spouse cheat, the spouse cheated because they wanted to cheat.
What’s the old saying? God helps those who help themselves.
@@veendace3195 Which is just a saying. It's unbiblical.
It's her walk with God. He's got her/them. People can change.
How is she describing him as loyal when he cheated on her????
dictionary is not in her vocabulary
She’s brainwashed
Delusional and she's been reading the Bible upside down
@@BrooklynBaby100 I agree with broken self esteem
@@sanbetski lol damn
He betrayed her. That’s not loyal
What did he do??
It’s called forgiveness. David in the Bible killed a man for his wife but God forgave him. 😊✝️
Yeah i was confused by that. Glad they working it out though
She loves money though.
i can think of a couple of reasons why she's still with him although surely she could've divorced and got a good payout.
- she sounds foreign (australian) in a foreign country so he's probably her security blanket
- their house looks palatial which means she leads a comfy life
- there's kids involved
all reasons surrounding financial security and living a comfy life that isn't uprooted.
When she said she blamed God and was angry, I gasped. She should of blamed and been angry with the man sitting beside her who put her through this.
100%
I don’t believe him. There is so much crafting of image. Why try to come back in the spot light. Just go live a quiet life and recover.
Why God your husband betrayed you. Not Jesus he sinned against God.
Exactly! God had nothing to do with this! The husband did it.
@@vipkidteacherexactly 💯 because he craves the spotlight. Also Carl now works at another mega church that also has a famous pastor. He now works at Michael Todd's church in Tulsa, ok. I just don't think he has completely healed. I also think his wife thinks she can save him from his brokenness and it's sad.
Because most people look at their situation as if “God allowed it”. And since it came to pass, then they start blaming God for allowing the trouble they’re in. I’ve met many people who have thought this way throughout the years. It isn’t right but it’s how they feel about it.
She describes him as "loyal??" Really?? The biggest disloyalty is the betrayal and continuous deception of having extra marital affairs (plural)
He is betraying the loyalty that she gave to him as he should have reciprocated that loyalty back instead right ! But forgiving and learning from that is also a big choice. I've totally been here !
I literally laughed when she said loyal
100% ! Denial... it aint just a river in Egypt. Sometimes I think these jilted wives have Stockholm syndrome or something.
@@KayKay-vw1wzit is not funny and it was not. We want for people to forgive us but we don’t want to forgive others.
the definition of "pick me".. SMH. she better not be the least bit surprised when it happens again...and it will.
Cheating is the opposite of being loyal to someone
Ah, yeah. What’s your point?
Not necessarily
Cheating, being unfaithful , sex before marriage etc … are just fancy ways to say adultery. Please stop listening to people like her and her husband who DO NOT KNOW OR TEACH what the bible clearly teaches. Carl was called by MANY a false teacher for years !! His actions are merely fruit of this , don’t believe me - read the Bible. God doesn’t lie 🤔 , the bible contains countless blessings/ promises that God offers to those who follow , are obedient and persistent. No one is perfect but this is just 1 more example of the many false teachers that are in the church. Repent and believe taught throughout the New Testament ….
🙄
Terrible example for her kids.
He didn’t just ‘slip up’ he lied and cheated for years.
and as a "Leader"!!! if that's not hypocrisy and sin at its highest .... I mean, was how was he counseling other couples who went to him for guidance?
@@kh5603 hypocrisy is a requirement nowadays it seems. 🤷🏻♀️
That’s forgiveness
It’s never accountability. It’s always brokenness.
Girl what a WORD!! Zero accountability from him.
It can be both.
Be well and be at peace.
@@SunniSide1That’s hilarious coming from a women 😂😂
Agreed
@@dz7a756true. I see a common theme though with pastors lol
Did she really describe her husband as loyal? Really? I would love to hear her definition of loyal
Loyal can just mean you stick around no matter what doesn't mean all your actions are good. Granted not a word I would of used either lol
people are allowed to change and grow
Hence why I'm not sorry for her
Can we stop giving these people air time?
Exactly 😒
Why are you watching. Stop giving attention is the better option for you.
@@thelasthourgetready thanks. shut up
Amen!
It's a good outcome. They are together, their marriage in tact and they say they are different people and I know it means they have grown through this difficult time.
He’s blaming his childhood instead of accepting responsibility.
Exactly
No accountability, I don’t think he even loved her or knows what love is.
How many people are molested (horrible) and don’t cheat in their spouse.
What a good woman. I sure hope she’s not sacrificing herself in this marriage. God knows and will judge our sins in the final judgement. He will have to answer for them.
His easy out was blame. She accepted that. It’s their life.
True
Why she was angry of God ? God didn’t cheat on her, her husband did .
God doesn't condone cheating, God doesn't cheat...her husband is the fault
Lol but obviously god doesn’t magically reward or bless you for being a devoted spouse. Many Christians act like when things are good praise God and when they aren’t it’s the devil or your or something else. Like yes her Husband messed up but it’s okay to be mad at an all knowing and capable God it intervening
I’ve blame God whenever I would have a setback but now I realize that God isn’t to blame, sometimes it’s me and others as well!🫤
@@Coastpsych_fi99 sorry no I don’t agree with you. We may mistakes we have free will. it’s so easy. Blaming God for our mistakes.
Has to do with how she views God. Seems like she assumes her life is totally controlled by Him rather than her or those she allows to control her life.
I'm calling B.S. A lot of men do this all the time whether they had childhood trauma or not. I'd say that is just a convenient excuse instead of owning your crap.
Never have I or will I accept a man who cheats. I've never been cheated on but idk how on earth you could stay with that person.
A lot of women do this all the time too
@@nylotus sometimes we find out about cheating after getting an STD
@@thelasthourgetready very true too...have had to deal with some wicked ones who claim to be Christian and/or "women's empowerment" but in the background totally different of course. I don't trust ANYONE any longer .
@@thelasthourgetready Agreed. I pretty much believe cheaters don't change.
Love how the interviewer says Loyal, tell me about that day
I think a better next question would have been "given the situation we're discussing, why would you describe him as loyal?". It was a missed opportunity as an interviewer.😞
I think he wasn’t expecting that word so he fully restrained himself and probably tried to get her to pivot by getting her to describe the day.
He basically said “I may have been born at night, but I wasn’t born last night.”
My husband is a recovering alcoholic, porn addict, and gamer. God told me about 10 years into our marriage. I did not want to know and I argued with God. He came back again a few days later so I did. I confronted him. He was shocked and asked how I knew. When I told him “God told me” he knew he had to own up. After three years in intense therapy and a men’s group, and two years after that we finally started on healing the relationship. Today he is a caring, sensitive husband and it is nothing short of miraculous. Thank you Lord Jesus for forcing me to face the reality and then holding my hand along the painful way.
Wow that’s a miracle! Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.
❤
I’m in a similar situation. I’ve been notified through dreams, and God will never lie to us.
Five years don’t change a lifetime of poor behaviors. These guys don’t change. How do you know he doesn’t look at porn? You’re lying to yourself.
Sorry... but your trauma as a child doesn't excuse your actions as an adult 🙄
he didn’t say that at all. but im sure he would agree with your comment. it seems that it certainly did play a factor into his actions, however. i encourage you to watch/listen to their “Lights On” podcast for better understanding.
Anybody that got molested as a child knows exactly how it wires your brain and how it shows up in your adult sex life. It’s almost like you can’t shake it off. Ofcos there’s therapy and all the other things but it’s not that easy sometimes
The trauma affected his choices,
Bieber
Exactly
“Loyal?” Alright… so “good word-loyal. Tell me about that day”. Dang this interviewer is sharp.
She does NOT know what loyal means.
I hope this wife understands she's stronger and smarter than she's giving herself credit for. I pray grace in the 3 parts for her and her family.
💯 🫶🏼💜 agreed. She’s a tough woman and doesn’t even know it.
If you knew you were hiding things and that you had sinful tendencies why don’t you step down as “pastor”, but no you loved the money and fame and attention
I agree, I try not to judge pastors that fall into infidelity. However, I never understand why they don’t step down and take a sabbatical and figure out what is going on with them.
@@Mbuyiselo5 that’s exactly how it should be but these so called famous pastors are truly not in it for the Gospel. It makes me sad and angry. Growing up the church used to follow biblical guidelines and not do their own thing.
Well, that would mean having integrity and decency.
@@Mbuyiselo5why wouldn’t you judge them? Pastors should be held to a higher standard.
He don’t need Rehab. he needs Jesus.
I hate people who think like this 😭
He can need both.
That’s like telling people to pray away depression and other issues. Some people need both Jesus and treatment.
They both do. Being mad at God, God didn’t cheat on you, your husband did 🤦🏾♀️
It’s always “trauma”. Everyone has trauma of some sort. Does this mean the men who r@pe little girls get excuses because they were abused as a kid? Take accountability, you’re a grown man. Your trauma might’ve influenced you but it’s not a valid argument to hurt people. Let’s stop classifying people who kill people as being mentally unstable as a safe from jail card or those who were abused as a this is why I did what I did card.
I’m pretty sure she’s still with him because her family isn’t local, he has the money (he was the famous one), and she doesn’t know that she deserves better.
why you not on women pages telling the to take accountability. In fact as a bw how about you go talk to sistas about taking accountability on the way the black community is lead
@@SWAGKINGSBDwhat? Sistas? Oh, okay.
@neonpandas He took accountability. You missed the point. His journey and his story is about what broke him to become whom he became. That is all. It's called reflection and that's how you heal and transform and shift in being. Yes people can change when they hit rockbottom. No different from someone that goes to jail and hits rockbottom allowing self reflection and healing to become a new person. We are all human we all make mistakes. That's why we should not judge peoples journey. Some actions are worse than others yes and yes some maybe harder to forgive. But this is forgivable to his wife because there was real change. She is at peace, that says enough. We can all learn from this story of redemption. We all have an opportunity to become a new people and truly heal as long as we have the gift of LIFE. Self improvement should always be encouraged and applauded. Your attitude wouldn't give hope to anyone to become better people and make this world a better place. Compassion for people trying to change or changing should always be welcomed with an open heart and open mind.
If you put trust in men, they will let you down. Churches need to stop being naive about human nature.
@@gn8540 Would believe it more if he wasn't trying to get attention and get back into a leadership role again. More likely he is a charismatic sociopath than a changed man.
Hmmm, there are some other parts of this interview. The reason I'm having a hard time trusting this guy is because in the other interview he isn't taking accountability for his actions. And now in this segment, the wife is blaming God. This guy had more than a few indiscretions and I say shame on him because so many people trusted him
Good catch. His actions, particularly, are characteristics of sociopathy or Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Cluster B maladaptive behaviors that include a high degree of manipulation and lack of core empathy. They have this uncanny ability to garner support of enablers and flying monkeys, almost cult-like. This is because the environment around the narcissist or a charismatic sociopath is rife with cognitive dissonance. I think the great Maya Angelou was thinking about a narcissist in relation to cognitive dissonance when she famously said: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
Yeah she is in denial …… he has not admitted he is a an addict. He is taking no accountability
Yes he has, he went to rehab after admitting he was an addict, listen to their interview
Molestation is horrible to experience and alters someone. It’s not an excuse or justification for choosing to and then doing the act of cheating.
It doesn't make you love money, fame, and worldly pleasure.
@@jesusislord2003 I'm glad you're now facing it to deal with it. That's the only way to start to heal more completely.
He’s pastoring church for almost a decade and just now he realised he got a childhood trauma…. Come on!!!
He’s loyal NOW…because he got CAUGHT.
And he can’t go! His financial future is tied in to overcoming this ! Lol. These people are cons and they know it.
Haha! Exactly!! I hope that he truly learned and changed but it doesn’t appear that way
Exactly he is a snake and will do it again when the dust settles
😂😂😂😂
@@joenewman6494clearly you don’t know God grace. He can change anything. We are human and unfortunately we make mistakes. It’s God to judge this man NOT YOU!
I hope he never gets back into a position of leadership …. Especially as a spiritual leader.
If she chooses to forgive her husband and stay in her marriage that's her business. It doesn't make her any less of a woman.
It is hard to leave abusive marriages, we all know that! She is not less because of that, but she is not more as well...she is stuck like a lot of us have been
Yes it does😊
Amen. The second husband might be worse than the first husband.
@@gabrieleruediger957she’s not stuck.
If it's her business, why is she doing a mass media interview about it?
she is trauma bonded to him, its not love this is codependence. using the words 'loyal' and 'faithful' to describe the father of your children who had multiple affairs and committed infidelity is beyond delusional. I hope she gets serious and sincere help rather than using word salad and 'spiritual bypassing' techniques of bypass the trauma. sad all around.
All narcissistic people create trauma bond, lie, cheat, blame shift etc.....never legitimate apologies or accountability
💯 trauma bond
He is biding his time...waiting for things to settle down. Until she is not paying attention. Then he will start up the cheating again. When given the chance, he definitely will cheat again.
"Very Loyal". This is what delusion looks like
He was broken thats why he cheated on wife, family and church?? Excuses. Just say it. You were being a jerk, a cheater and lier. With no buts! Carl is a fame seaker. and no real remore here
Loyal? Now I can’t trust a word out of her mouth.
Exactly. She’ll lie to save face.
His calm confidence while discussing his betrayal is unnerving to me.
It's amazing what therapy and regulation can do‼️
@@tamragoodson8678
it’s classic narcissism
She’s a much BIGGER woman, than I could EVER be!!
Bigger?
Dumber you mean.
I would say weaker and too dependent on him than to stand up for herself and leave! But traditional Christian values pressure the woman to stay married no matter what for better or worse I've even heard of some priests that feel you should stay married if you are being abused as if that is not a reason to leave! To me being unfaithful is a form of abuse, both emotional and physical as you are being exposed to potential STD's!
He still isn't accepting any responsibility for the so many accusations levelled against him. His response is his "leadership skills" when accused of sexual and mental abuse by former staffers and that excuse of i was abused as a kid so its manifesting in my life now as an adult is extremely lame and has that feel of somebody looking for sympathy. This guy should never ever be given a leadership role again in any format. The repercussions of his indiscretions leave a stigma on all Christian's all over the world.
sociopaths don't realise how they hurt others, and never become fully accountable, they can only focus on their own excuses.
Amen
I’ve experienced that my ex husband moved our kid’s and I too another state stayed for a year and then left us with nothing no car no money and no place to live so I had to go on welfare I worked 4 part time job’s until I could get full time and I pulled us out of the nothing he left us with there is so much more that was done to me in that time many thing’s I didn’t know about during our marriage. His mistress and her 3 children didn’t have to worry about a home or money because my ex husband was supporting them what helped me to deal with all of that was the fact we lived in different states I stayed in Wisconsin where he dumped us and he moved back to Illinois if I had to be around where they were or run into them I don’t know if I could have dealt with that. That happened in 1989 my kid’s are in their mid 40’s I’m 66 and retired and he is still married to the person he left us for and I moved back to Illinois but I don’t see them that much only for grandchildren thing’s and I am very cordial to her. But because of how he left us and I have never said anything to him about that it was so traumatic that it seems as if it were yesterday if I think about it I try not to but sometime’s it’s hard so I go on. 🙃
You are a strong woman and mama. ❤ my father did a very similar thing to my mom. She was a single mother of 4 kids. I don’t know how you women do it! I have so much respect for women like you and my mom. God bless.
You are so strong and valuable! I hope you get it
Write a book
Laura is the hero in the story. What a good, Godly, woman. She had every right to leave. He’s lucky
Their comeback tour… is Jesus the center of their relationship? repentance? It’s all about the spotlight… the plan- lay low out of the spotlight… rebrand to regain the spotlight…. It’s a sad story.
Tbh. You can't tell this is an ex-pastor. Just another "celeb" story.. no talk of sin at alll just saving face. Js nicely.....
She picked loyal out of all the adjectives?
She is delusional and he will do it again.
And so will most men. How can she ever trust again? I can relate
Probably already has.
Shes a brave woman.... stronger than most women in the world even if we wouldn't all take the path she has....hats off to her. ❤
brave would be to start off on her own to take care of her children. staying with an abuser is not brave.
There's nothing brave about her 😂
Sorry no hats. She’s her head in the sand
Careful not to be like this woman. Forgiveness is a good thing, but there's something sinister about her reasons (I suspect). No one describes a liar, cheater, abuser as loyal. No one with proper sanity. This woman has issues or she's complacent in something... like loving fame and money. Why is she still chasing publicity after all she's been thru? Shouldn't she seek a private life, heal and move on? She's suss to me. I don't trust her.
Wow, it's amazing seeing these reactions. Have you guys walked through the healing process after being betrayed? I have, and the fact she's still alive after it is a credit to her alone. I'm glad I didn't have you guys around me when I did 🤔🤣
Having a second chance sometimes is staying away from the spotlight even if it’s bringing our “testimony” to heal others. Too fast Carl, unless the ego still needs people to see us even in a new color
Just believe in God , not the pastor. That simple
Amen
God says to forgive
Tax the mega church⚖️
Wrong video buddy lol
Trauma has nothing to do with making the conscious decision to get married and the conscious decision to cheat. Those are independent of each other. If one is sincere they should take accountability for their actions and how it impacted others, not deflect.
Manipulation
It's painful to watch how she seems to be in denial, my heart goes out to her, he's awful.
Angry with GOD? Not Angry with her husband?!
You've clearly never had a hard dark day in your life yet, when you do you'll know the answer to that question. Unless you are the perfect Christian we all wish we were then maybe that's why you don't get it?
She's crying & he doesn't move towards her
AT ALL!!
He pays the bills...simple
He was even surprised to hear “loyal”. I think he’ll be doing it again.
She wants him to make that money again
The thing about this I keep thinking is why is there no mention of the word “sin”? It’s just brokenness…
They have a powerful testimony. GRACE never runs out
@@TrustJesus333have you ever heard of God grace? He’s human and made mistakes. Why judge him when God will judge us. It’s their life not urs
And we learned 😅
What a mug she was/is Look at him he looks very broken doesn’t he. She’s sobbing and no reaction and the interviewer reaches for the tissue not him. Not even a squirm as she expresses how she felt from his actions …. Yeh he’s changed alright.
In your face truth … watch this space he will repeat and the feeling of betrayal will be the least of her worries then …
I have no idea how people can stay with their partners after this. I genuinely cannot imagine. My ex cheated once, I dumped him and move away. It’s been 3 years👏. My self respect is wayyyyy higher because I set a boundary and left. You’ll never ever get over that grief. Ever.
This is great that he seems sorry and it's their choice what they do with this but this guy should NEVER go back into ministry. Ever.
And he has but more of as a strategic church consultant? But not as a preacher.
Which i think is prob the best role for him. But i agree preaching or any kind of leadership role is not for him.
But he has a great opportunity to lead other men who have fallen or maybe still in sin to come out and be redeemed.
Leave him. Save yourself. Jesus won't be angry with you.
They holding to the picture. Fake. And blaming your wrongs on your abuse is madness.
So he made an excuse for his sin.
Many in the comment section are questioning their reasons for doing this interview. Are they trying to get back to their money-making lifestyle in another church? Is he telling the truth now? I'll say this, we all fall short in life and will need forgiveness and grace at some point. They're talking about what they went through because it's more about healing and ministering to other couples who have also gone through this than them trying to set up their next come-up. Try not to throw stones when in glass houses.
Amen I agree with you....The Father does His best work when we are at our lowest with a broken and contrite heart.
You can only rely on childhood trauma as an excuse to get you so far in life. At some point when you know better as an adult, you have to do better. not every childhood trauma victim continues to create chaos and mayhem in theirs and others lives with all the availability of counseling and support. There’s no reason to carry this burden but plenty of opportunities to face it and overcome it without hurting others or yourself any further.
Am glad they stuck it out. May God continue to work within them and use their experience for good ❤️
If you look at the comments, you'll know that very few people respect either of them
Carl, you're forgiven and loved. Never stop fighting for your relationship with God. You are awesome and have an amazing wife. God bless you and your family
This is how narcissistic person can manipulate someone mind… they will make themselves free of any responsibility at any cause…
I’ve been looking for that comment! He sure is a narcissist, doesn’t seem to be able to empathize with his wife and the whole thing seems to be so much more about him rather than about the people who suffered from his behavior..
UNBELIEVABLE! The fact that he and his wife would go to the media and TRY TO CONVINCE the public that he is a victim?!?!?
Their marriage is between them and them alone. It’s DESPERATE to share their pain and how Loyal he is?!?!?!?!!!!
His wife is an Angel… beautiful inside and out 🥺 poor woman.. she didn’t deserve what he did..
It’ll just happen again. I have unimaginable trauma and I could never put my wife through that
Her dedication to church, kids, and marriage is NOT Gods fault . Anything a person does, is on them. Abuse DOES change brain chemistry, however, we also have free will
It's a massive red flag when a married guy his age cares THAT much about his appearance, style, staying fit etc. They don't do it for their wives...
This is a weird comment, lots of men care about appearance, style, and staying fit for both their health and for how their wife/partner see them. I can't speak for Carl Lentz but I know many men who think of their wife as they did when they first married.
@@mve-i4r Nothing wrong with caring moderately. As I said, it's a red flag when they care THAT much (as you know they are trying to impress other women, not their spouse who already loves them regardless).
Broken and needed healing. If thats all he knew and worked and learned and grew from it then it speaks for itself. Ive been with mine 14 yrs and it does take alot of work.. consistently
Forgiveness is one thing, but pastors who do this should not be allowed to go back into ministry.
They are disgraceful, they get people to trust them then behind doors sinning like the devil! Never again!
You don’t understand what grace is.
@@christybradley9471 There's grace and there's gullible.
@@christybradley9471Yeah, and you dont understand repercussions. They can be forgiven but don’t try to come back to the mainstream. We are done. Cause we have moved on. And wasn’t it only like 2 years ago this al happened. Now they are back on the circuit again. Give me a break.
Yuck. Yuck. He has not repented. Blaming his past. Yuck. Wearing a muscle shirt like a teen. She is in complete denial and detached from reality. We can see crystal clear.
I love when the interviewer was trying not to roll his eyes at the word “loyal” but just kept rolling them further.
This woman is a case study. Loyal? Really? Forgiveness is a good thing, and I applaud her, but she needs to find herself some self respect amidst her healing.
Also, I can't wrap this around my head, when some Christians say they were or are mad at God, or they blamed or blame God. How do they do that? I'm not a perfect Christian, but I fear God to the extent that I could never have that audacity. Have they not read the Bible? The book of Job as an example? Are they ignorant to who God is? And what He is capable of? Are they not grateful for His Grace and the length of what He's done to hold Himself back from eliminating us? We have grace because Jesus stands between us and God. If not! Hey! What happened with the flood, what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, these will be small compared to what would have happened to us. Thank God for Jesus. I'm just in awe of this woman's audacity to blame God. She must not know the kind of power and might she supposedly claims to serve.
Christianity is not always easy, we fail sometimes. But to blame childhood trauma is just low. You can't be a Christian (a true Christian, heck a whole pastor) for years and use childhood trauma as an excuse. Jesus either heals or He doesn't, and true Christians know He does. Take responsibility and stop pointing fingers like Adam. Out here on a pitty party media run 🤦♀️ this dude.
7:24 good word sis, be strong in your decision to love and serve, praying for continued healing 🙏🏼✝️
God keep you very close Laura!!! He will carry you through to a higher level!!! All blessings to you, Carl and your family.
A scuzzy couple who should stay clear of any ministry.
Absolutely!
his narcissism is eerie
She’s talking about loyal as he’s loyal to his friends and sticks by them no matter what. Listen to the podcast they talk about it.
Describing the sexual act of cheating as an "indiscretion" is such a load of euphemistic crap.
I respect this woman a lot. Some people are not bad people, they are broken
Broken people have no business in a marriage or position of spiritual leadership.
I wish she’s been interviewed alone. It felt like he was there to possibly limit the conversation…
That's exactly why he did what he did. He knew there would be no consequences and that she wasn't going anywhere.
Cheater always have an excuse when they’re caught. When she cries it shows how broken she’s inside. Once trust is broken it’s never the same. We can forgive but never forget.
Laura, I admire your strength. There are many who have not experienced betrayal trauma that would never understand it. Esther Perel wrote a book called "Mating in Captivity" that really shatters people's perspectives on affairs and infidelity. Add in childhood sexual trauma and the entire thing becomes even more complicated (I understand that some think it's simply an excuse and perhaps at times it is) but it's also a very real and pervasive issue that changes and alters our behaviors. I also completely understand your use of the word loyal. Sex is an act, and to someone with past sexual abuse it serves a singular purpose-outside of engaging with someone they truly love. While Carl may have given some attention and his body to others (yes it's still wrong) his heart remained and remains with you. It's not the best analogy but I sometimes liken it to a rescue pup, they can love fiercely and loyally but may still have behaviors or traits that rear their ugly head every now and then-the same can be true for survivors like your husband. The old behavior of secrecy or lusting may rear it's head but if he's committed to not hurting you or your children he will make an effort to change. I hope people remember that judging you does nothing but harm. I don't judge anyone in this type of situation, it's hard to leave, it's hard to stay-either way it's your choice. Prayers for healing for your family.
This was very encouraging
How dare people condemn and judge this couple for being vulnerable and working out issues. We should all hope
We Could one day show this level of Forgiveness and forbearance. This couple loves each other and wants to stay together. They know marriage is work. It’s modern society’s panic switch to just bail when it gets hard.
Finally a person that is not judgmental. You surely must know Jesus ❤
When they posed for a magazine photo, they were dressed like they were a Hollywood family with her cleavage completely popping out and him looking like he was a celebrity not the God honoring Christian family
I'm glad they can talk about it openly...but why am I cringing??
I went to a Christian university and married a very religious man from a very religious family. I was a virgin on our wedding night. We had 3 kids. We were intimate the entire marriage. One day I stumbled upon evidence of YEARS of hookups. When confronted, he said he assumed we would “just go to counseling” if he got caught. He also said his dad did the same to his mom. And they just went to counseling. He said it was “unbiblical” of me to divorce him. I filed and left! I broke an evil family cycle. I really think she should have done the same. These Christian men use religion to hide and religion to preach forgiveness and repentance when they get caught. It’s evil. Demonic even
Going through the comments is wild. I hope people see the full podcast and look from another perspective that restoration like this brings hope to this broken world (and people). To see a family went through difficult times like what the Lentz went through and CHOOSE to face it together and turn that horror in to a legacy puts so much hope for restoration and redemption. Keeping this family in prayers. May this become a testimony to families going through the same horror and brokenness. There is still hope 🙏🏼
He doesn't seem honest at all😮
What our culture is lacking completely nowadays is grace and forgiveness.. as you can see by this comment section.
100% agree. “where sin increased grace abounded all the more…” (Rom. 5:20)
I agree!
The biggest reason why I would never forgive a cheater is that he probably also lied throughout the relationship. Lied about his whereabouts, who called, who he is spending time with, maybe even who he is at core, his personality. Cheating requires logistical organization. Therefore, the biggest reason that I couldn't forgive a man like this is that I couldn't trust one word that is coming out of his mouth. Once trust is broken, it is over.
Delusional is a proper adjective for this lady