Thank you for watching, everyone! For people outside of the U.S.: a fraternity is basically a social organization. I totally understand that fraternities are not for everyone. I’ve heard both positive and negative stories about them (mostly negative, if I’m being honest). As I said in the video, the fraternity experience is unique to each person, school, state, region, etc. Peace & blessings ✌️ EXTRA STUFF/SOCIALS linktr.ee/tommymay10
I don’t think your brother on hinge meant anything bad at all. I also think you come across as very masculine now, so it would be interesting to hear your ‘deep’ voice.
My fraternity (a Top 3 in size national frat) was great. Everyone was supportive. I was elected Secretary my junior year and VP senior year. They also helped me get elected as Student Senate President. At a conservative school. And this was 20 years ago.
Today younger men are far more conservative and homophobic than they were 20 years ago. It's unlikely you would have had to same experience if you went to college after 2015.
@ItsCoreyLynxxYall while it's true this latest generation tends to be more conservative, there are plenty that are not. The generation actually reflects the wide divide and extremism of both sides that is prevalent now
Well spoken - at Tulane in 1988 I rushed SAE mostly because my brother had been president of SAE at another University- it was so different then, and I ended up not joining out of fear and shame. I could have “passed”, but it would have been exhausting. So hard to convey what it was like to younger guys.
I started college at a community college, never understood the appeal of fraternities . Never knew any gay guys until after college. Made a friend with a student assistant when I was tutoring at the college, but did not know he was gay until 5 years later. I hope that one day people stop persecuting homosexuals.
Interestingly I went to a community college and got into folk dance. With that group, unlike other folk dance groups in the state, NOT to be gay was unusual.
I always enjoy your stories Thomas. I didn’t join a fraternity out of fright mostly. Too scared to have been found out. I limited the number of people I would be around in college as much as possible. Even after being hit on, I only assumed it was a set up. Whether or not that person was being genuine, I still do not know. But I do sometimes think back to those moments and wonder what they thought after I refused the moves they made.
Thanks for your wonderful story about your fraternity experience. Mine was similar except in the 80's. I would love to speak with you sometime in greater depth about your experience to see just how many more similarities there were. I think it would be interesting to find it by some stroke of luck, we were in the same Fraternity. Thanks again for sharing.
So Christian of you. And w/o saying the question of the beginning and the end, a some other Greek letter between... I never rushed... I was in every one of them and a few sororities long ago. Arkansas backwoods didn't know what I was, but popular. Thanks for the share. Just be you💯😜🏳️🌈
I don’t understand why it rubbed you the wrong way when your brother said “Happy to see you on Hinge 😉”. If the guy is on the dl then it took a lot of courage to reach out. If he’s out then he likely thought it was a good conversation starter. It was just his way of letting you know that he’s gay too.
I thought that too, but I kinda know a guy since childhood and was living in the neighborhood, who showed up at my door for something else initially, but shortly afterwards apparently came out to me and tried to get us in the bedroom. Not only was he drunk but he also rubbed me the wrong way, as he might've been trying to confirm I was gay and word around town has been going around for over a decade. I was worried he woulda told everyone and I didn't want that to happen.
Why is this still an issue? Some people like golf, some like tennis. Some girls like girls and some guys like guys. It's 2024! As long as you don't hurt anyone else. Be happy.
Great content for this video! You said 8 fraternity bros are gay now and that 40 guys normally pledge each year. Does it mean that the 8 are from your pledge year (8 out of about 40) or bros in the fraternity house during the years you were in college? The latter case would be about 280 bros were in the college/house during your four years, or 8 gays out of 280 pledges. Sorry but I’m a retired Certified Public Accountant and we like stats 😜
It was good to hear about your experience. Unfortunately, where I come from, the topic of acceptance towards gays is very divisive. My friends know, but I didn't commit to it in front of the family, because they are washed with a lot of negative things these days.... I wish you all the best in the future. ✌🏳🌈
It’s quite unique to share this, as fraternities aren’t really a common thing in Taiwan. In universities, there are all kinds of hobby clubs that people can join voluntarily, but even in the 21st century, it still takes a lot of courage to come out. Having someone like Alex, as both a friend and a brother who understands you, is truly a blessing. :) Here’s to hoping we see a more diverse and welcoming society in 2025, especially for LGBTQ culture!😉
Matt you’re funny 🤟, I don’t see some female characters???, in my personal opinion you are direct and honest ✌️. Oooops for who they live in a fake bubble, because they were not true to themselves, I applaud you for sharing and supporting many others. At the of the day we are man and truly it’s fun being a man, sports, cars, home, cooking and many other aspects of our lives make us feel good right 🤗, btw? we like dude’s inside and out ☺️. Thanks again 🙏🙏🙏✌️
You look like those heroes in silent films. You know, they're usually cops or mounties who wind up untying Little Nell from the train tracks in the nick of time. The timbre of your voice is not high at all, but it's the strong letter "T" at the end of some words that's gayspeak. 03:47 "ThaTT I had meTT." Why this is, I have no idea, but straight guys never enunciate that way.
I'm commenting from the UK. Despite the feeling of 'belonging' to a club and making friends while at university, are there any benefits to being a Fraternity Brother? (I'm thinking of career networking, in particular, but are there any other enduring advantages?) Many thanks!
Kinda Crazy how times changed since I joined my frat because I knew they were comfortable to queer people. My entire frat family is LGBT which is kinda funny. omg this makes me sound old lol, I rushed this year!
I was wondering if you wore speedos in college. There were many openly gay students where I went to community college, and many of them were Vietnam Veterans, and older than I was. This was the mid-70's.
_"Alright pledges, meet your pledgemaster for this week. With him in charge of you lads, getting into our esteemed fraternity will be a literal pain in the ass. This will be the ultimate test of your dedication. Any questions?"_ - "Sir, didn't you mean to say 'figurative pain in the ass', Sir?" _"No, pledge. I did not."_
@ClayMIllerAtlanta Who knows. America has many colleges with many fraternities. And young men tend to be very horny. It's not entirely impossible. 😏 Certain adult movies to this tune from the 80s do exist though. Or so I've heard.
Organized social, professional, and honorary groups that promote varied combinations of community service, leadership, and academic achievement for men (sorority for women) at a college or university, called Greeks because they use Greek letters for their names - Sigma Tau Sigma, Kappa Alpha, Delta Delta Delta. The Phi Beta Kappa Society, founded on December 5, 1776, at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia, was the first fraternal organization in the US. The first national, secret, Greek letter social fraternity is considered to be the Kappa Alpha Society, established at Union College in Schenectady, New York, on November 26, 1825. Union College continued its role as the Mother of Fraternities by establishing Psi Upsilon (1833), Omicron Kappa Epsilon (1834), Chi Psi (1841) and Theta Delta Chi (1847).
So you said you watched football 🏈 so you could act straight. 2:31 . You think gay guys don’t like football? I appreciate your later part of your story.
You could easily google the concept American universities offer various housing models besides the regular dormitory. Fraternities and sororities are large, shared, houses - organized like a private club with its own social structures and rules.
The "Greek" system has been a long staple in American universities. You can think of them as social organizations like the Freemasons and their primary function is to act as a social club. Most have adopted a name of three Greek letters (hence the term "Greek system"). Fraternities are all-male organizations, sororities are all-female (from the Latin words for brother and sister respectively). They are organized as both local organizations (exclusive to the school at which they exist) and national, and even international, ones (where there are "chapters" at multiple, different schools across the country). While they are primarily known for wild parties and pranks, their primary purpose is to serve as a social network and also a service organization doing charitable work and community interactions. An individual wishing to join, "rushes" the group, and if they are chosen by the current members, they become a "pledge" and enter a period of indoctrination designed to promote brotherhood/sisterhood, culminating in a secret initiation rite in which they become full members. Unfortunately there has been a long history of "hazing," in which the pledges are forced to do acts or activities out of the ordinary, some of which are abusive or illegal. There have been cases of pledges being hospitalized or even dying from such acts. Hazing is technically illegal but it still goes on in secret.
If you are completely honest with them, then you should not have a problem with those who are broad minded. You may even find yourself in a few friendships.
Thank you for watching, everyone! For people outside of the U.S.: a fraternity is basically a social organization. I totally understand that fraternities are not for everyone. I’ve heard both positive and negative stories about them (mostly negative, if I’m being honest). As I said in the video, the fraternity experience is unique to each person, school, state, region, etc. Peace & blessings ✌️
EXTRA STUFF/SOCIALS
linktr.ee/tommymay10
a fraternity is as good as the members each year. It's like a football team. Good or bad, it depends...
I don’t think your brother on hinge meant anything bad at all. I also think you come across as very masculine now, so it would be interesting to hear your ‘deep’ voice.
@@RLucas3000he's not masculine at all. He's sis.
I know this may be a common or even annoying question... What was the initiation like??
This may be an annoying question... but what was the initiation like??
My fraternity (a Top 3 in size national frat) was great. Everyone was supportive. I was elected Secretary my junior year and VP senior year. They also helped me get elected as Student Senate President. At a conservative school. And this was 20 years ago.
So you were in the closet that's what you're really saying
Today younger men are far more conservative and homophobic than they were 20 years ago. It's unlikely you would have had to same experience if you went to college after 2015.
@ItsCoreyLynxxYall while it's true this latest generation tends to be more conservative, there are plenty that are not. The generation actually reflects the wide divide and extremism of both sides that is prevalent now
Well spoken - at Tulane in 1988 I rushed SAE mostly because my brother had been president of SAE at another University- it was so different then, and I ended up not joining out of fear and shame. I could have “passed”, but it would have been exhausting. So hard to convey what it was like to younger guys.
Loved this! Had a magical experience in mine... very grateful for the love and acceptance
I started college at a community college, never understood the appeal of fraternities . Never knew any gay guys until after college. Made a friend with a student assistant when I was tutoring at the college, but did not know he was gay until 5 years later. I hope that one day people stop persecuting homosexuals.
Interestingly I went to a community college and got into folk dance. With that group, unlike other folk dance groups in the state, NOT to be gay was unusual.
Thanks for your story of college life and fraternities. Hope your having a wonderful holiday.
I am closeted desperately seeking affection... But your videos are like light to me ❤❤❤thank you and keep me updated about you
It's 2024, not 1924. Grow up, get out and realize no one cares about your personal life unless you shove it in their faces.
How old are you
Thank you for this video!
They _all_ knew, even the upperclassmen. And I'm talking from the early 90s when things were still old school.
Glad to hear things worked out for you and your brothers were accepting!
13:23
This is what sucks about the closet anyone might be in. Silently suffering alone, together, thinking it’s each other you’re hiding from 😢💙💙
I always enjoy your stories Thomas. I didn’t join a fraternity out of fright mostly. Too scared to have been found out. I limited the number of people I would be around in college as much as possible. Even after being hit on, I only assumed it was a set up. Whether or not that person was being genuine, I still do not know. But I do sometimes think back to those moments and wonder what they thought after I refused the moves they made.
Thank you for your words.
Thanks for your wonderful story about your fraternity experience. Mine was similar except in the 80's. I would love to speak with you sometime in greater depth about your experience to see just how many more similarities there were. I think it would be interesting to find it by some stroke of luck, we were in the same Fraternity. Thanks again for sharing.
So Christian of you. And w/o saying the question of the beginning and the end, a some other Greek letter between... I never rushed... I was in every one of them and a few sororities long ago. Arkansas backwoods didn't know what I was, but popular. Thanks for the share. Just be you💯😜🏳️🌈
I don’t understand why it rubbed you the wrong way when your brother said “Happy to see you on Hinge 😉”. If the guy is on the dl then it took a lot of courage to reach out. If he’s out then he likely thought it was a good conversation starter. It was just his way of letting you know that he’s gay too.
Finding guys that are in the closet in college is almost every guy in college.
I thought that too, but I kinda know a guy since childhood and was living in the neighborhood, who showed up at my door for something else initially, but shortly afterwards apparently came out to me and tried to get us in the bedroom.
Not only was he drunk but he also rubbed me the wrong way, as he might've been trying to confirm I was gay and word around town has been going around for over a decade. I was worried he woulda told everyone and I didn't want that to happen.
Why is this still an issue? Some people like golf, some like tennis. Some girls like girls and some guys like guys. It's 2024! As long as you don't hurt anyone else. Be happy.
Great content for this video! You said 8 fraternity bros are gay now and that 40 guys normally pledge each year. Does it mean that the 8 are from your pledge year (8 out of about 40) or bros in the fraternity house during the years you were in college? The latter case would be about 280 bros were in the college/house during your four years, or 8 gays out of 280 pledges. Sorry but I’m a retired Certified Public Accountant and we like stats 😜
I was wondering that too, but it would be 8 out of 160 guys for four years or 5% or 1 out of 20. if 8 out of 40 that would be 20% or 1 out of 5!
Love the nails
Thanks for that, love your honesty.
It was good to hear about your experience. Unfortunately, where I come from, the topic of acceptance towards gays is very divisive. My friends know, but I didn't commit to it in front of the family, because they are washed with a lot of negative things these days.... I wish you all the best in the future.
✌🏳🌈
It’s quite unique to share this, as fraternities aren’t really a common thing in Taiwan. In universities, there are all kinds of hobby clubs that people can join voluntarily, but even in the 21st century, it still takes a lot of courage to come out. Having someone like Alex, as both a friend and a brother who understands you, is truly a blessing. :) Here’s to hoping we see a more diverse and welcoming society in 2025, especially for LGBTQ culture!😉
Wishing you a wonderful meaning holiday.
Matt you’re funny 🤟, I don’t see some female characters???, in my personal opinion you are direct and honest ✌️. Oooops for who they live in a fake bubble, because they were not true to themselves, I applaud you for sharing and supporting many others.
At the of the day we are man and truly it’s fun being a man, sports, cars, home, cooking and many other aspects of our lives make us feel good right 🤗, btw? we like dude’s inside and out ☺️.
Thanks again 🙏🙏🙏✌️
Well, join a gay fraternity, like I did. Yes, it took bravery to join one, but it was worth it. Delta Lambda Phi. All of us, or none of us!
You look like those heroes in silent films. You know, they're usually cops or mounties who wind up untying Little Nell from the train tracks in the nick of time. The timbre of your voice is not high at all, but it's the strong letter "T" at the end of some words that's gayspeak. 03:47 "ThaTT I had meTT." Why this is, I have no idea, but straight guys never enunciate that way.
I'm commenting from the UK. Despite the feeling of 'belonging' to a club and making friends while at university, are there any benefits to being a Fraternity Brother? (I'm thinking of career networking, in particular, but are there any other enduring advantages?) Many thanks!
Was there any homosexual hazing in your fraternity?
6:45 oh lord havent we all been there..
Kinda Crazy how times changed since I joined my frat because I knew they were comfortable to queer people. My entire frat family is LGBT which is kinda funny.
omg this makes me sound old lol, I rushed this year!
Lambda Lambda Lambda! 🤸♂️🤸
I was wondering if you wore speedos in college. There were many openly gay students where I went to community college, and many of them were Vietnam Veterans, and older than I was. This was the mid-70's.
In Florida in the mid-70s, everybody wore Speedos.
@buddys_dad 😁
@@buddys_dad why?
@ It was a different time and styles change
@@buddys_dad so back then people didn't mind looking "gayish"?
_"Alright pledges, meet your pledgemaster for this week. With him in charge of you lads, getting into our esteemed fraternity will be a literal pain in the ass. This will be the ultimate test of your dedication. Any questions?"_
- "Sir, didn't you mean to say 'figurative pain in the ass', Sir?"
_"No, pledge. I did not."_
Wild. Is this for real?
@ClayMIllerAtlanta
Who knows.
America has many colleges with many fraternities. And young men tend to be very horny. It's not entirely impossible. 😏
Certain adult movies to this tune from the 80s do exist though. Or so I've heard.
I am straight but there are too many comments so nobody will ever know.
Onions. Lol
Love yourself ❤ stay away bad people
I am overseas. What is a fraternity?
Organized social, professional, and honorary groups that promote varied combinations of community service, leadership, and academic achievement for men (sorority for women) at a college or university, called Greeks because they use Greek letters for their names - Sigma Tau Sigma, Kappa Alpha, Delta Delta Delta. The Phi Beta Kappa Society, founded on December 5, 1776, at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia, was the first fraternal organization in the US. The first national, secret, Greek letter social fraternity is considered to be the Kappa Alpha Society, established at Union College in Schenectady, New York, on November 26, 1825. Union College continued its role as the Mother of Fraternities by establishing Psi Upsilon (1833), Omicron Kappa Epsilon (1834), Chi Psi (1841) and Theta Delta Chi (1847).
So you said you watched football 🏈 so you could act straight. 2:31 . You think gay guys don’t like football? I appreciate your later part of your story.
HI TOMMY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND I LOVE YOU HAPPY HOLIDAY LOVE DAVID 😀🥰😀🥰🥰🎅🎅❄❄❄☃☃☃🎄🎄🎄🎇🎇🎇🌨
❤️❤️❤️
Nice
Fraternity ?. For those of us who live outside of the United States. Sorry but i have no idea what you are even talking about ?....
You could easily google the concept
American universities offer various housing models besides the regular dormitory. Fraternities and sororities are large, shared, houses - organized like a private club with its own social structures and rules.
Watch any stupid American comedy movie set at a university.
The "Greek" system has been a long staple in American universities. You can think of them as social organizations like the Freemasons and their primary function is to act as a social club. Most have adopted a name of three Greek letters (hence the term "Greek system"). Fraternities are all-male organizations, sororities are all-female (from the Latin words for brother and sister respectively). They are organized as both local organizations (exclusive to the school at which they exist) and national, and even international, ones (where there are "chapters" at multiple, different schools across the country). While they are primarily known for wild parties and pranks, their primary purpose is to serve as a social network and also a service organization doing charitable work and community interactions. An individual wishing to join, "rushes" the group, and if they are chosen by the current members, they become a "pledge" and enter a period of indoctrination designed to promote brotherhood/sisterhood, culminating in a secret initiation rite in which they become full members. Unfortunately there has been a long history of "hazing," in which the pledges are forced to do acts or activities out of the ordinary, some of which are abusive or illegal. There have been cases of pledges being hospitalized or even dying from such acts. Hazing is technically illegal but it still goes on in secret.
If you are completely honest with them, then you should not have a problem with those who are broad minded. You may even find yourself in a few friendships.
It’s a sports jock mentality over thing trying really hard to compete to see how masculine they are
𝐿𝐼𝑁𝐷❤❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤
This guy fine
I went through a whole football team then I went through all their girlfriends then told their girlfriends about it…..it was fun
Stop telling fibs
@Robert-vf6ny I've ruined several marriages. They couldn't go on living and ended themselves lol
Anyone from your fraternity came out as transgender after college?
First.
Question 🙋 do your children 🧒 who say this , actually bother to watch these videos ?.........
For those of us who don't live in the US, it would be helpful to have a brief explanation of what a fraternity is.
Nice!
High five bro, don't leave me hanging
✋🏻
❤❤❤❤❤