Basically guys, if he pulls away. Live your life to fullest, love yourself, be good to yourself and if he comes back...tell him to make it quick because you got plans 💁🏽♀️
“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to your. And stay.” ― Will Smith
I’ve learned that men either want you or they don’t. They know it as well, if they are really into someone. If they’re being half-a&! about it or going strong and then off, that means they’re just not that into you, and you’ll save yourself lots of wasted time by walking, no running the other direction. Know your value, set the standard and don’t settle for less than that. No need to put up with B.S.
I agree. I dated a man 9 yrs older than me for three months. He was hot and cold. He was the first to say he loves me... then make all these life plans. Then I found he still was on plenty of fish “ fishing “ I’d drive 3 hrs to see his sorry A**. In the end one wknd I was staying there . He was so rude and hurtful. I said F**k it. Didn’t sleep with him🤣why should I.... and I left. Never looked back
“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to your. And stay.”― Will Smith
A mature man who is self aware and has high EQ will NOT do this. A man who truly knows how he feels about you and wants to be with you will communicate in a way that it will feel safe for the pulling away by both partners. You complete you ladies - no man ever will. Don't give your power or energy to a man who is not mature or self aware enough to express how he feels. He will waste your time. Remember you are the sum of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. If he's doing this at the start he will drain you for years to come as he discovers who he is. Release him with love. And then go love the fuck out of yourself. Xx. 🙏
Bibi Lafleur I truly believe this as well. I do not feel if a man pulls away it's a good sign no matter what has transpired. I agree that a man who knows himself and what he wants will not pull away. He would be able to talk about whatever is going on. Thank you for this.
S A yes, he would be able to talk about whatever is going on. Mine has no interest in talking at all, when I try to get clarification on his actions he hangs up.
Bibi Lafleur maybe so. But there are a lot of emotionally not self aware men out there who are dating and would still like love. So maybe this advice is for women handling those men.
Reality check, is only invest in what you get back. So if he pulls away then focus on ''you'' and the lack attention you show him the more he'll crave. So until he realises you can leave at any time, he will not change, so remember we as humans only vaule things we respect and are scared of losing.
Never try to FORCE anyone to love or WANT you. .. Its a sign you have a low self esteem. Feel good about you and understand you are valuable THEN the other person would value you . If a man pulls away good for him .Right away i know. Hes not mature enough for a good relatiojship. A man who values u wont pull away so why must i force him to be close...
You are so right Kathi G. I just ended a relationship that was just too much dame work. And 6 months later found a wonderfull man, that worships the ground I walk on. My old boyfriend almost felt backwords, and is now trying to convince me to go out with him one last time. Crazy never in a million years, I am super happy with the love that life and God has rewarded me with. No games, no chasing, and I can be my self, but I have learned to be more feminine, and it woks like a charm..
Love yourself first and your man will be closer to you. As you give value to yourself then your man or any body else will give you value too. Of course respect your man too ! And be yourself and natural 😉
Let me tell you true facts of when a man you like will try to get you back... it’s when you from the bottom of your heart truly don’t give a shit abt him... when it’s way too late and the next guy is already in the picture that makes the last guy look like a joke to you. For some reason that’s just the laws of physics
Totally agree grown up person would know what they want and who they want in their life. People stop waste time on the wrong people. If they play hot new cold... you say bye for life. 😂
When he pulls away, let him go and get on with your life. If he comes back you will have an interesting life to share with him. If he doesn't come back go find someone who does want to be with you. Don't waste time chasing someone who doesn't want you....there will be plenty who do !
I have walked away from women I love because they tried to be the man in the relationship. Their actions demonstrated they did not respect me. I have never pulled back or walked away from a loyal respectful woman that is feminine.
I tend to agree 100%...IF a man really wants, needs and loves a women he is not only going to let me be known, but he will put it all into his actions. So, remember ACTIONS ARE LOUDER THAN WORDS... We can't make a man LOVE us, and he can't make us LOVE him. It's a COMBO deal. It does seriously take TWO to tango. SO, it's a TEAM efford sort of deal. It's an ALL or NOTHING thing. NOBODY should have to "run after" the other...They should have ALOT in common and come together face to face in "harmony and peace"...That gets the job done the right way!!!
you say the other way around SORRY THATS CRAP AWOMAN A FEMALE CANNOT LOVE A MAN EVER THAT IS A IMPOSABILLITY A WONA CANNOT LOVE A MAN she can use him for resourses she can use him for protection she can use him for sperm BUT SHE WILL NEVER EVER LOVE HIM A FEMALE IN HUMAN SPECIES CANNOT LOVE she wants what he has got or can supply NOT HIM a man can love a woman a woman cannot love anything but her self and her babys that grow inside her THAT IS A EVOLUTION DNA SEXUALLITY HISTORICAL FACT
If he wants to stay, he will. If he doesn’t, live your life. If it’s bothering you and if you’re afraid you’ve done something, tell him. Don’t hide. It takes a long period of procrastinating and sadness but it’s worth it. You would have put yourself out there. You did all you could and if he’s an educated and wholesome person, he will tell you whatever you did or didn’t and will tell you the reason for this. You would have done your best and if he’s an idiot, that’s it. He doesn’t deserve you. My heart goes with you if this is happening to you, I hope it gets better ❤️
If a man truly wants you he will go after you. If his not chasing or pursuing you then darling walk away. She is spot on with the masculine feminine energy. Never pursue a man
I'm a woman and I need my time and space too. I thinks it's only human to reconnect with yourself and pull away from the outer world from time to time. As for the feminine and masculine energy I love the explanation. Femine is allowing and being in the here now. Masculine is action, making things happen. Nice.
1&2 Change Mindset lean way back in feminine energy when he pulls back. Reconnect the friendship from om the beginning men have to process emotions the reason for space. Don't pick up slack for him and stop trying to make things happen. 3. Take focus off the man and put into self. Feel the feelings without acting out with them. Anxious or deep sense of sadness. Connect with own heart.
I just want to know if the man has to do any work in a relationship at all? Does he have any accountability? Is he even conscious?? Please people. Where are the videos for the men? I’m going to start blocking these videos. They make me want to throw up. If a man wants to be with you, he will be with you. End of story.
My relationship with a guy has begun from my initiating and pursuing. I knew it was super wrong, but I had no other options, ‘ cause I just had to have him, my passion won the common sense. And of course I met the consequences. But with Helena’s advice now I am in a commitment relationship, and this guy adores me and wants to spend all his time with me. I use some basic rules that Helena teaches in her videos, and this is amazing that this priceless content is free.. but if you don’t value yourself nothing works, so the first step is to fall in love with yourself and then find answers about love life.
I do believe that if one doesn't love themselves then how on earth will they ever love or care for anybody else. You must love yourself first and foremost and hopefully the rest will follow.
The first relationship coach I totally agree with. Mature content for mature people without playing cheesy games. Though I'm just in my 20 but I hate playing cheap games to get a man. Nice video.
Thank you so much for this video. It’s so true. We must learn to love ourselves and be whole and happy where we are. Look after ourselves, bring attention back to ourselves. I’ve lost myself in relationships too many times. The ‘pedestal’ trap - don’t let it happen. The void is only there because there is something missing in us spend time on you finding out what makes you whole. I promise it works. Xxx
I’ve put my man on a pedestal lately. I’ve had so much going on with my son- his ODD and anxiety has changed me so much, I’m starting to withdraw and feel some depression… and my partner has been my sanity. I’m trying to stay calm about it and stop caring… him not responding to a text makes me get in my head where it didn’t before- it’s hard when I need him while going through this, because I need his support more than anything right now. Thank you both for this video.
You are NOT the only one. Each one of us has many different, beautiful, unique qualities which would make us a living treasure for ANY man. The problem is, since men are such visual creatures, if they see us fleetingly, for a moment, and we don't visually turn them on, they keep walking. We are not given the chance to show them the great catch we really are!!! I've seen it happen around me time after time after time😞.... I've also noticed that when we either work alongside someone that draws us or we are in a situation where we have to interact with someone that attracts us, then we get a fuller scope on how they work//on how they act//on how they respond. I like the interaction because then, i think our chances on landing someone are better and more successful. Think about it: the joke's on the idiot who thought he was getting the best prize ever with looks alone and then later on finds out she's either a golddigger, or a big-time phony or completely clueless, or is a felon, or is married to a dozen other men, or IS a MAN or all of the above!!! Think about it! We've still got it good....@ least we're not involved with a loser. My best to you. 😊❤🌻
One or two valid points. Your best advice could have been You can't fix HIM only he can do that and if he doesn't see it is needed it ain't gonna happen. All you can do is do your own check-up on YOU, see how you have changed, how your perspective of him has altered and why. His actions might have caused you to reassess him but your Judgement is yours alone and what you allow to play in your head over and over is your responsibility not his. Erasing some stuff is extremely hard. If conversation in the Keep it short and simple style is not possible then you have to accept you can't even talk to him to give him hints or simple directions AND he cannot do same for you for you might also have a mighty thick mental brick wall up too. Good luck to all of you.
I got my help from someone, he was the only one who was able to help me bring back my ex husband back to me and he save and solve my relationship problem
Ugh do you want a man who's so weak he can't handle that I'm a strong woman? I want the man who I'm with to see me as a partner not a prize. Maybe we need a video for guys on what to do if you feel intimidated by a woman (because women need to make decisions) and how to take responsibility and earn her trust and alleviate some of the pressure of her shoulders because that's what we really want. For him to take the initiative, pay attention and step up instead of running away. I like Derrick Jaxn much better... he actually empowers women and men.
When I hear people talking about men being "intimidated" by women, it usually just means that he's not attracted to you, not that he's actually scared or intimidated. A masculine woman to a lot of men just feels gross. And that usually gets interpreted as intimidating when it's really just not being interested.
Women do not intimidate me. NEVER. I am not attracted to women that think they intimidate me. I am attracted to women that are attracted to me. I NEVER pull away from a woman I am physically attracted to and who respects me and is feminine and does not try to take over my role as a man. When a woman tries to take over male roles in a relationship she is showing me with her actions that she does not respect me and I will pull away until she respects my role as the man in the relationship. As the man I will make mistakes, I desire your feminine input as to how I can be better, however I will make the changes that I need to make on my own terms and in my own time.
I think most women do this intuitively, especially those feminine type . It happens naturally by the feminine energy .but thanks , still nice to hear it from an expert
I believe strongly in that a man needs some space I know some of my friends they are like if he loves me he should stick by my side and talk to me 24/7 common men are like an elastic rubber he needs some space especially when they have problems after a while they will come back more excitedly
Maryoom I agree with this. several guys in my past that chose other girls over me all came back to me years later regretting their choice and wanted me back. but by that time I was over them and not interested especially after what they did. they made their choice and it wasn't me. so it does seem they come back eventually but I have yet to connect with one where it lines up without them choosing another girl over me in the first place. I just don't get their thinking. why would they be selfish then think I'd just take them back as soon as they change their Mind
you are strong enough to express your situation I get you totally , look with the wrong guys or the wrong choice whatever you do you feel unloved or you need to chase him and if it worked out you will loose your sense of self.But again be careful of letting Mr.right goes if he feels like he got your love that is it or he doesn't need anymore effort in your relationship.
Yes they need space. BUT they also have brains a mouth and a phone. The ones that are mature and have emotional intelligence will communicate this in a safe way. The ones who aren't and are looking at 'other options' OR trying to manipulate you won't. And some will gaslight making the woman feel like she is going crazy. As someone who is studying neuroleadership I know this can be EXTREMELY abusive.
Bibi Lafleur you are right of course this strategy only works with the right respective person not the immature abusive one 👍🏻 you are an expert of course you know better
There are millions of people on the planet. If you are with someone who doesnt care for you, it will ruin your self esteem -and you will never feel trust for anyone. Move on. Not ina sad way, but KNOWING you will find better.
If he meets someone else he’s not that into you. You can use small mindtricks or ”female intelligence” as long as there’s a strong connection or love there but when he’s moved on - you need to, too. Sorry... Speaking from lots of experience here 🙄.
Regina Marthalia not wrong. It’s natural and understandable. But whatever you do - don’t chase him. he has to initiate and really want to come back himself otherwise it will not work in the end. If he doesn’t and moves on as the comment said - so be it. Put all the focus that is now on him onto yourself and your personal growth. And leave him alone. That’s your best chance to either have him come back on his own or “outgrow” him and that old relationship and move onto better things. Always choose happiness and love yourself first, you’re worth it 🤗☺️
It is nice, when a man really loves you and doesn't go against you. It is not too great when another women gets in the way and he forgets you....wish she would move Florida
Been in a relationship 2 years and I never contact him period. And if he leaves I open the door for him. Stuff they pull makes it not worth their crap they give.
A good man will never pull away if he feels loved and appreciated. But when he gets criticised or condemned he will pull away. In today’s egoistic “market” where people hunt their own “needs”, we are never satisfied and want more and more and more of the wrong “things”... Everyone of us is created to love each other, then love one another instead of focusing on the materialistic and empty lifestyle. Hug each other, kiss each other, talk nicely to each other, hug each other again. If you are in doubt how you should behave then look at your small kids, look how they love everyone they meet - We Are Created To Love.
Thank you so much for your advice beautiful...It really works. I even block him in social media..It takes 2 weeks before trying to find way to reconnect with me again...😁..Now he is much loving and caring..more power..
Clayton- I wanted to say thank-you for the attachment styles video that you posted a few weeks back. It has helped me so much to understand that aspect of myself and how it makes me react in certain situations, and little by little change that.
It’s very healthy for men to pull away. If women feel insecure that says the woman needs to work on herself and love herself so she’s not feeling needy.
Lisa Marie yes please don’t chase him . Invest your time in doing something productive that you couldn’t do while you were together 😜my opinion in general though! Cheers 🥂
@@silvermont331 there is a difference between a man who is pulling a way for months without any sign of reaching you out i.e " confused and narcissist men" or a mature man who does not say much for couples of days and go to his "cave mode". When the mature man feels stressed, he does not express it like we females do, we talk about it and seek for advices but men do not do that, they pull away until they figure out how to solve their life problems which is not related to us at all, they certainly do not need our advices or help at allll. But the "confused men" or "narcissist" they pull away and come back whenever they feel, to make you confused or to manipulate you because their intentions is either to play with your emotions or simply because he is not sure about his life in general, you, wether he wants to be with you or not. You can tell the difference if you observe well, we like to pay attention to details, that is our way to save more time.
Healthy for him to pull away lol oh please, it's him being selfish and playing some stupid game. I wouldn't waste my time with a guy doing these things. There are mature men out there who don't pull back because they are healthy minded. They have good communication with you and don't play games.
Helena, how about teaching men how to behave around women, and just learn to communicate and not play mind games. Both men and women are culprits of this scenario!! We allow it, which is why people get hurt. How about sowing ones wild oats and not promising anyone anything and when you are finally ready to settle down with that special mate, you respect and are submissive to each other.
My ex boyfriend and I broke up around Christmas. I know his whole situation. He's been depressed about his past and dealing with his 21 yr old daughter who is messed up. We are still friends and he Thanks me all the time for giving him space. We connect on a level he has never experienced before with anyone even his now dead ex wife. I can honestly say I've never loved anyone else like him . I feel helpless to help him through this. Other than just be there for him and listen to him. That's the hardest thing to not try to fix him . But I can't and don't. I'm 54, I love his family and they absolutely love me . I've tried to move on but I know we are meant to be together. How do I use feeling statements to be their for him
Omg just listening to this, being single is much better whatever she is saying is too much work I’d rather be myself and if he can’t accept it “goodbye”
Okay. As a woman who needs a lot of space. I've pulled back from a man, not because I dont like him anymore but because I'm busy or hes moving too fast... But have been misread as completely pulling out of the relationship or whatever. Just go on do you, if you like the person...live your life and stay receptive. Some of us just need to regroup. I'm introverted and get overwhelmed and feel pressured It's a "pumping the brakes a minute". But I dont think going radio silent is okay. If they do that? Move along. They should at least tell you what's going on...
Well, she said if a guy likes you. Half the time, I think this may all be true to some degree, half the other, if a guy has no psychological problems, he will stay with you, unless, ofcourse, he doesn't like you.
I looove Helena, her work has been life changing for me and she has such a beautiful soul. Have you two done any videos together? If so I'd love to see, would be an awesome combo :)
Stop obsessing over the guy if he pulls away. Get busy. Have a life of balance. Be a person that is able to be patient and kind. Stop trying to control the relationship. You can't force a relationship. Most importantly trust yourself and grow and learn about how you can improve the way you deal with people. --- really -- it's just common sense.
Helena Hart i love your discussion on famine and masculine energy. It does make sense HOWEVER, what should a woman do in terms of these energies when the man lacks the masculine energy so the woman naturally needs to step in order get things done bc ppl depend on it.
When he leaves, start your life over, he can't be trusted and don't value you. Start your life over with someone else. Its your life, live it to be happy instead of playing games back and fourth.
So smart good advice I hv been in a loving relationship for nelly 8yrs now and a man does not always pull away because he is not interested anymore Mybe he just needs time to himself,Time to miss u I totally get what you mean You need to injoy yourself and appreciate yourself first an a man will admire that in you My man says he is his happyest when Iam happy I really like your advice thow very well explaned Tks u
I am too emotionally aware and intuitive and as a Libra woman Gemini rising girl, I love my space and refuse to take a leading/chasing role in relationships. I want to be led by a good man with love and compassion not those gender role leading bullshit men Lol If he runs you bet he ain't coming back because ain't nobody got time for that. Plus I am too busy and don't really appreciate an immature none spiritual man. I can do bad all by myself. Nobody can fulfill me more than the creator Mother Father God. So go and don't come back love!!
I think it depends on the situation and the relationship. Some men communicate better than others. And some men use their communication skills or that they aren't great at showing emotions as a crutch. There's gotta be some give and take. If a guy expects a gal to walk through the fire of her fears of abandonment, he can sure toss her a line and just say he has a lot on his mind or needs a little time to process. We would be that considerate to them.
Just focus on your life.Your true man will accept you holistically including what you choose to do in your life.The magic is he will even support what you are doing in yourlife however weird it is.
This video was absolutely amazing, it was so spot on I thought oh my gosh is this about me single handily..... of course it's not but the accuracy was incredible.... you have a new subscriber
Yes, good info. The devil is in the details, though, isn't it. You have to feel what the separation does to you to overcome the anxiety or loss that comes up. No one wants to be put on a pedestal because it means you aren't seeing them for who they are or aren't being seen for who you are if you are up there. I personally don't use terms of masculine or feminine energy. We all develop the same brains. Right hemisphere handles the feeling internal part of us and left the more analytical, logical outward thinking mode. They get messages from the lower functions of the limbic emotion area and the lower brain of sensation. I just think some men might balk at using their 'feminine side', or emotions if they are called that, when we all have that. Otherwise, good info, thanks.
Right, especially guys over 40 yrs of age won't admit to having a feeling or soft side, even though we all have it and it's healthy to express your feelings.
Great advice- I made the mistake despite similar advice, of contacting him after we broke up- not all the time- but maybe once a week. I realize that was not the way to go. Thank you.
I switch into my female energy when I'm out with my man, but women are always saying hi to him, he says hi back cuz he is nice like that. But he loves the attention, he knows it upsets me but can't stop them from saying hi to him. I don't get mad to offten but I get tired of it. Most of these women are friends and acquaintances. I feel like a third wheel in my relationship.
I really am shocked. The only thing I got out of her is that basically women have to be damsels in distress for a man to love us. A male energy is getting things done. So women don't get things done it can be a female's energy woman's energy to work and problem-solve like she said. That's so stupid. And I am not a feminist and it still sounds really stupid to me.
she said at the beginning that both men and women have masculine AND feminine energy, so the part of you that gets things done is your masculine energy and the part of you that receives and is in your feelings etc. is your feminine energy. she said that being in touch with both parts of yourself is important
Actually she's recomending empowerment from a mind set not an action set. Shifting from doing stuff to bring him.. which is actually damsel in distress.. to feeling confident and not putting all in him. It's a balance that begins with taking control of a run away /flight or what do I do/fight emotions. Allowing by embracing how amazing You are. Namaste 🦋
I agree with Mimi, I've heard Helena say so many times that it's about ramping up BOTH your masculine and feminine energies, combining them and using them in ways that are going to work for you
She's not against women being in touch with their masculine but if you want to attract a masculine man, you need to get in touch with your feminine, it's true. Sounds like a healthy and empowering view of feminine energy to me. :)
Self love ladies. You wouldnt be searching for it in him if you gave it to yourself. Fk his space. Give me mine so i can give to myself noone else can. She makes a lot of sense. Its not that he was never interested, our own insecurities and negative energy pushes everything away we really want
I screwed it up. I couldn't anchor myself and stay in my feminine energy. Now he's gone. We said goodbye. I don't feel his soul close to mine anymore. We'll meet for sure in the future. I'll be just radiating my feminine energy and allowing for anything to happen but I won't be waiting or anticipating. 🤗
So much for just being your authentic self and being loved for being genuine and not playing games. I guess we gotta confuse the shit out of them and us.
Men should be in their masculine energy and go for what they want...and be a man about it. Then women won’t be tempted to do that... Men today have lost their abilities to be in their masculine energy... Honestly these days the genders are under such confusion. It’s sad to see what silly games are being played. What happened to the days men would see what they want and pursue it honestly and commit fully to it with our play games... Ladies are the prize man cannot understand that. We complete their lives and bring so much love and abundance. Ladies if he acts difficult move on he’s not worth your time. Men need to stop being in there ego and treating lovely ladies like they have to behave a certain way to be accepted.,. Or a option. You are more than enough. Anyone who treats you any less than that or wants you to act a certain way it commit, then they not worth your time or trouble. You are beautiful, you are life givers in ever way... Men don’t even know what they missing with out a beautiful woman at their side.
I got my help from someone, he was the only one who was able to help me bring back my ex husband back to me and he save and solve my relationship problem
I have a man, in my life & he said he's a marine. I can believe that, because he has that stiff look. The only thing is he has no smile. He could be a narc or just a stiff Marine. We are so new that I can't tell if he's for real or a player. He treats me nice & gives me credit & he does let me help him out. He doesn't act ga ga, & neither do I. He is in another state & talks me everyday, but far from over doing it. I'm going a long with what he wants for now, because I don't know where I'm going. One thing, he is living with his ex & they are platonic, but I'm not an idiot. For now, just friends unless he gets rid of her. Not going to have a threesome, no way in Hell!! I left my psychopath husband & no damn man is ever going to play games with me again!!
But if you don't speak what you want out of the relationship...he never going to know...I think you have to be real with your feelings first...and if you know that's the man you really want tell them straight up...and if he is distant and doesn't seem to be reaching towards you...well move on....
question./ or, advice please. I am in an 8 month relationship with a guy who has been Pretty amazing. In the past I have had nothing but bad experiences. I pretty much assume anyone who I meet in the future will be the same. Up until recently this guy has proven differently. HOWEVER, I was in his phone. And I know its automatic to assume I was ‘snooping’ I really wasn’t though. He handed me his phone. He gave it to me so that I could look for mine that I had misplaced. I don’t know how to handle an iphone so after calling myself looking for my phone and still not finding it, I was in the process of calling myself again when I found a conversation between him and an ex employee of his. This ‘ex’ employee sent him a ‘dirty pic’ of herself. The conversation started as such and he didn’t respond, she then basically called him out of his name for not responding to then he finally did saying ‘ im just now seeing this, sorry. I like it though’ wish I could see it in person though’. The next message immediately then went to an employee of his he JUST hired but who SHE recommended. So the conversation switched. Anyway, I EXPLODED. I acted out of control. I did. Sorry. Bad past experiences. His explanation? He says that yes, they use to have a casual sexual relationship BEFORE we met. He swears that he has never cheated on me. He says that he doesn’t know WHY she sent the pic but that yes, he handled it wrong and that he reacted in appropriate about it. I guess we are working on the relationship now. I don’t really know what to do. I am 35 years old and do NOT want to continue to deal with the same type of drama, issues, trust factors. I don’t know what to do.
BECKY DUQUE just want to start by saying all your emotions and feelings and responses are completely normal. What's not normal is him saying 'he would like to see it in person though'. And engaging in conversation with her. Any man I know that TRULY loves/likes his woman would not do this. Unless he is extremely insecure and needs the attention and keeps women on the side 'just in case'. Also I suspect he may have wanted to get caught. Which could stem from childhood issues of always disappointing an important woman in his life. Aka his mum - but now it's you. Many men with porn addictions are like this. IF you want to stay with him HE now needs to earn your trust again. You did nothing wrong and him admitting he fucked up is a good start. BUT its all about the ACTIONS when it comes to men. If his actions don't match his words and he doesn't do the work to gain your trust - then you have your answers. And these actions could be anything from deleting her pics and contact details to giving you access to his phone when you want. If he has no hidden agenda that shouldn't be an issue. If has any problems with those suggestions then that's a red flag. Good luck xx. 😚
I appreciate your advice Bibi. Thanks so much. I really needed some advice as I am TORN. Yesterday marks 2 weeks since that happened and up until 3 days ago maybe that things were going well. He did acknowledge he 'responded inappropriately' and says he could have handled it differently. Since then, we have spent the two weekends together and communicate daily. He lives about an hour away from me so it is hard to see each other during the week. Things were 'in progress' for us up until these 3 days ago. He casually mentions that 'her sister' has reached out to him for work. She called him saying that she would be in town for a few months and wanted to know if he had a position open for her for just a few months. The thing is, is that he did 'tell' me about it, yes. However, for him to even consider giving her sister a job is just beyond me. Seriously? IMO what is it about her that he just NEEDS to keep ties with? My guy has a car lot business of his own so his mechanic is the (picture girls) brother and while she no longer works for him her brother does and now their other sister is reaching out for work? I don't get it. I don't understand and I guess I never will. So yes, naturally we had a disagreement about it because he doesn't see the problem in hiring her sister since he 'knows' her and can 'trust' her and yet, me of course, I have an issue with it because (picture girl) has a means of staying in his life.He had already said he knew he had trust to build back up but his actions don't seem to follow his words. - agh!- I love him, I do.. Im so tired of being insecure and jealous really isn't my chosen/favorite type of feeling. I just don't know what to do with this. time will tell I guess.
Helena, thank you for this video. I knew that before, but then I did some moves with a man, let's say proactive moves because I thought he was shy and it felt like he really wanted to get closer to me but he couldn't. I followed the advice on the net about shy guys - that with them you should take the steps even if it feels not feminine. I felt like he's incredibly shy with me (even though he's not young and he's successful and active in life etc.) But maybe he fears something, cause he's 20 years older than me and he had very bad experiences with women, although I saw he liked me, and all signs of liking a woman by a shy guy were there. Another thing, he knows I'm in the process of divorce now, but I said that it's me who started the divorce and he knows that my almost ex-husband is a terrible person and we don't live together anymore etc. I'm confused if I did well inviting him for dinner at my home (he was here but he fixed the electricity, so that's different).
Basically guys, if he pulls away. Live your life to fullest, love yourself, be good to yourself and if he comes back...tell him to make it quick because you got plans 💁🏽♀️
Love...
Respect!
Truth
You are funny
Thank you this is so helpful
No. Need. To. Chase. Anybody. Who ever. Is. Meant. Will. Stay
💚
True
“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to your. And stay.”
― Will Smith
this may be hard but this is the truthand best answer i read. No one who truely loves you will ever leave. no need to chase.
I’ve learned that men either want you or they don’t. They know it as well, if they are really into someone. If they’re being half-a&! about it or going strong and then off, that means they’re just not that into you, and you’ll save yourself lots of wasted time by walking, no running the other direction. Know your value, set the standard and don’t settle for less than that. No need to put up with B.S.
I agree. I dated a man 9 yrs older than me for three months. He was hot and cold. He was the first to say he loves me... then make all these life plans. Then I found he still was on plenty of fish “ fishing “ I’d drive 3 hrs to see his sorry A**.
In the end one wknd I was staying there . He was so rude and hurtful. I said F**k it. Didn’t sleep with him🤣why should I.... and I left. Never looked back
Perfect 👍
“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to your. And stay.”― Will Smith
A mature man who is self aware and has high EQ will NOT do this. A man who truly knows how he feels about you and wants to be with you will communicate in a way that it will feel safe for the pulling away by both partners. You complete you ladies - no man ever will. Don't give your power or energy to a man who is not mature or self aware enough to express how he feels. He will waste your time. Remember you are the sum of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. If he's doing this at the start he will drain you for years to come as he discovers who he is. Release him with love. And then go love the fuck out of yourself. Xx. 🙏
Bibi Lafleur I truly believe this as well. I do not feel if a man pulls away it's a good sign no matter what has transpired. I agree that a man who knows himself and what he wants will not pull away. He would be able to talk about whatever is going on. Thank you for this.
S A your reply is very helpful to my situation. Thank you!
S A yes, he would be able to talk about whatever is going on. Mine has no interest in talking at all, when I try to get clarification on his actions he hangs up.
Totally agree with your comment! I’m on 6 years into a marriage where his immaturity has strung me along like you mentioned.
Bibi Lafleur maybe so. But there are a lot of emotionally not self aware men out there who are dating and would still like love. So maybe this advice is for women handling those men.
Reality check, is only invest in what you get back. So if he pulls away then focus on ''you'' and the lack attention you show him the more he'll crave. So until he realises you can leave at any time, he will not change, so remember we as humans only vaule things we respect and are scared of losing.
Imperfectly Perfect Thank you!
Never try to FORCE anyone to love or WANT you. .. Its a sign you have a low self esteem. Feel good about you and understand you are valuable THEN the other person would value you . If a man pulls away good for him .Right away i know. Hes not mature enough for a good relatiojship. A man who values u wont pull away so why must i force him to be close...
So true!
If he's that much work just tell him goodbye.
You are so right Kathi G. I just ended a relationship that was just too much dame work. And 6 months later found a wonderfull man, that worships the ground I walk on. My old boyfriend almost felt backwords, and is now trying to convince me to go out with him one last time. Crazy never in a million years, I am super happy with the love that life and God has rewarded me with. No games, no chasing, and I can be my self, but I have learned to be more feminine, and it woks like a charm..
Exactly. Take him to the curb and Close the door. See ya. Move on.
That's naive. We're human and therefore flawed.
Love yourself first and your man will be closer to you. As you give value to yourself then your man or any body else will give you value too.
Of course respect your man too !
And be yourself and natural 😉
Let me tell you true facts of when a man you like will try to get you back... it’s when you from the bottom of your heart truly don’t give a shit abt him... when it’s way too late and the next guy is already in the picture that makes the last guy look like a joke to you. For some reason that’s just the laws of physics
that’s so true and accurate! Why is it like that ! Ugh
Hahaha i swear thats the truth!
Haha
So true but like whyyyyy lol
Oh yeah. Just when I forgot all about him after crying for so many nights, he comes back begging 😂🤣
This is for boys. Not men.
Christiana Rongmei yes
What planet are men on? Mars. Sorry my spaceship doesn't go that far. You want me you have to come to me. Toodilu
Totally agree grown up person would know what they want and who they want in their life.
People stop waste time on the wrong people.
If they play hot new cold... you say bye for life. 😂
Bingo.. a real man doesn’t play games.
Even JESUS needed some alone time. Come on nah....
When he pulls away, let him go and get on with your life. If he comes back you will have an interesting life to share with him. If he doesn't come back go find someone who does want to be with you. Don't waste time chasing someone who doesn't want you....there will be plenty who do !
No. if he loves you, he loves you, if he don't there is nothing you can do and other way around.
I have walked away from women I love because they tried to be the man in the relationship. Their actions demonstrated they did not respect me. I have never pulled back or walked away from a loyal respectful woman that is feminine.
I tend to agree 100%...IF a man really wants, needs and loves a women he is not only going to let me be known, but he will put it all into his actions. So, remember ACTIONS ARE LOUDER THAN WORDS... We can't make a man LOVE us, and he can't make us LOVE him. It's a COMBO deal. It does seriously take TWO to tango. SO, it's a TEAM efford sort of deal. It's an ALL or NOTHING thing. NOBODY should have to "run after" the other...They should have ALOT in common and come together face to face in "harmony and peace"...That gets the job done the right way!!!
you say the other way around SORRY THATS CRAP AWOMAN A FEMALE CANNOT LOVE A MAN EVER THAT IS A IMPOSABILLITY A WONA CANNOT LOVE A MAN she can use him for resourses she can use him for protection she can use him for sperm BUT SHE WILL NEVER EVER LOVE HIM A FEMALE IN HUMAN SPECIES CANNOT LOVE she wants what he has got or can supply NOT HIM a man can love a woman a woman cannot love anything but her self and her babys that grow inside her THAT IS A EVOLUTION DNA SEXUALLITY HISTORICAL FACT
@@victwenty2324 Grow up dumb ass.
You want a good woman go to church Godly evenment.
If he wants to stay, he will. If he doesn’t, live your life. If it’s bothering you and if you’re afraid you’ve done something, tell him. Don’t hide. It takes a long period of procrastinating and sadness but it’s worth it. You would have put yourself out there. You did all you could and if he’s an educated and wholesome person, he will tell you whatever you did or didn’t and will tell you the reason for this. You would have done your best and if he’s an idiot, that’s it. He doesn’t deserve you. My heart goes with you if this is happening to you, I hope it gets better ❤️
If a man truly wants you he will go after you. If his not chasing or pursuing you then darling walk away. She is spot on with the masculine feminine energy. Never pursue a man
If I'm done, I'm done, period end of discussion, if you push me away it makes it easier for me
Men need space to reboot so take advantage of this time to take care of yourself & give him a chance to really miss you!
I agree. It's not always him playing games. Men need space.
Confident and secure men don't pull away, they might pull out
Straight to the point please most of us only have 30 minutes break- no I’m not chasing no men I’m too good for that..
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I'm a woman and I need my time and space too. I thinks it's only human to reconnect with yourself and pull away from the outer world from time to time. As for the feminine and masculine energy I love the explanation. Femine is allowing and being in the here now. Masculine is action, making things happen. Nice.
Thank you!
Ms. Cayenne j
1&2 Change Mindset lean way back in feminine energy when he pulls back. Reconnect the friendship from om the beginning men have to process emotions the reason for space. Don't pick up slack for him and stop trying to make things happen.
3. Take focus off the man and put into self. Feel the feelings without acting out with them. Anxious or deep sense of sadness. Connect with own heart.
My favourite words that I hear on repeat in my head from Helena: put your focus on yourself and your own life where it belongs! :D 💖
I’m so glad that’s been helpful for you! 💕
I appreciate the comments better than the video. A guy who is unfaithful will always wonder. This feminine energy thing doesn't work.
I just want to know if the man has to do any work in a relationship at all? Does he have any accountability? Is he even conscious?? Please people. Where are the videos for the men? I’m going to start blocking these videos. They make me want to throw up. If a man wants to be with you, he will be with you. End of story.
Yes so true!!!!
Well, I blocked all contact. He may or may not care. I did it to help me heal.
I understand this. I wish you much healing power x
@@hopefull2070 I am much better now. He did communicate. I am continuing the focus on myself. Thank you for your insight.
My relationship with a guy has begun from my initiating and pursuing. I knew it was super wrong, but I had no other options, ‘ cause I just had to have him, my passion won the common sense. And of course I met the consequences. But with Helena’s advice now I am in a commitment relationship, and this guy adores me and wants to spend all his time with me. I use some basic rules that Helena teaches in her videos, and this is amazing that this priceless content is free.. but if you don’t value yourself nothing works, so the first step is to fall in love with yourself and then find answers about love life.
I love what you said here, thanks for sharing your experience! 💕
I do believe that if one doesn't love themselves then how on earth will they ever love or care for anybody else.
You must love yourself first and foremost and hopefully the rest will follow.
The first relationship coach I totally agree with. Mature content for mature people without playing cheesy games. Though I'm just in my 20 but I hate playing cheap games to get a man. Nice video.
Thank you!
Thank you so much for this video. It’s so true. We must learn to love ourselves and be whole and happy where we are. Look after ourselves, bring attention back to ourselves. I’ve lost myself in relationships too many times. The ‘pedestal’ trap - don’t let it happen. The void is only there because there is something missing in us spend time on you finding out what makes you whole. I promise it works. Xxx
You’re welcome! 💕
Thank you Jayne. Sounds great. I very much like your thinking.
Thank you Helena Hart.👍
You’re welcome, Laura! 💜
starts at 4.18
I’ve put my man on a pedestal lately. I’ve had so much going on with my son- his ODD and anxiety has changed me so much, I’m starting to withdraw and feel some depression… and my partner has been my sanity. I’m trying to stay calm about it and stop caring… him not responding to a text makes me get in my head where it didn’t before- it’s hard when I need him while going through this, because I need his support more than anything right now. Thank you both for this video.
Your only sanity is the Lord. Without Jesus we will take a terrible fall.
Why did I have the impression that I have to work 10times harder than others to get a man.... Am I the only one?
You are NOT the only one. Each one of us has many different, beautiful, unique qualities which would make us a living treasure for ANY man. The problem is, since men are such visual creatures, if they see us fleetingly, for a moment, and we don't visually turn them on, they keep walking. We are not given the chance to show them the great catch we really are!!! I've seen it happen around me time after time after time😞....
I've also noticed that when we either work alongside someone that draws us or we are in a situation where we have to interact with someone that attracts us, then we get a fuller scope on how they work//on how they act//on how they respond. I like the interaction because then, i think our chances on landing someone are better and more successful. Think about it: the joke's on the idiot who thought he was getting the best prize ever with looks alone and then later on finds out she's either a golddigger, or a big-time phony or completely clueless, or is a felon, or is married to a dozen other men, or IS a MAN or all of the above!!! Think about it! We've still got it good....@ least we're not involved with a loser. My best to you. 😊❤🌻
Nope
It's not work. It's wisdom, booboo. Pray on it.
I can never force a man to love me
One or two valid points.
Your best advice could have been You can't fix HIM only he can do that and if he doesn't see it is needed it ain't gonna happen.
All you can do is do your own check-up on YOU, see how you have changed, how your perspective of him has altered and why. His actions might have caused you to reassess him but your Judgement is yours alone and what you allow to play in your head over and over is your responsibility not his. Erasing some stuff is extremely hard.
If conversation in the Keep it short and simple style is not possible then you have to accept you can't even talk to him to give him hints or simple directions AND he cannot do same for you for you might also have a mighty thick mental brick wall up too.
Good luck to all of you.
I got my help from someone, he was the only one who was able to help me bring back my ex husband back to me and he save and solve my relationship problem
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From Los Angeles
I am tired of trying to understand men. why would they disappear or pull away. I give up. it makes no sense to me.
@Happy lady I know!!!! It's mentally exhausting!!!! They are so much more complicated than us!!!! 🤷🙄😒🤯😫
Ugh do you want a man who's so weak he can't handle that I'm a strong woman? I want the man who I'm with to see me as a partner not a prize. Maybe we need a video for guys on what to do if you feel intimidated by a woman (because women need to make decisions) and how to take responsibility and earn her trust and alleviate some of the pressure of her shoulders because that's what we really want. For him to take the initiative, pay attention and step up instead of running away. I like Derrick Jaxn much better... he actually empowers women and men.
When I hear people talking about men being "intimidated" by women, it usually just means that he's not attracted to you, not that he's actually scared or intimidated. A masculine woman to a lot of men just feels gross. And that usually gets interpreted as intimidating when it's really just not being interested.
Women do not intimidate me. NEVER. I am not attracted to women that think they intimidate me. I am attracted to women that are attracted to me. I NEVER pull away from a woman I am physically attracted to and who respects me and is feminine and does not try to take over my role as a man. When a woman tries to take over male roles in a relationship she is showing me with her actions that she does not respect me and I will pull away until she respects my role as the man in the relationship. As the man I will make mistakes, I desire your feminine input as to how I can be better, however I will make the changes that I need to make on my own terms and in my own time.
I think most women do this intuitively, especially those feminine type . It happens naturally by the feminine energy .but thanks , still nice to hear it from an expert
I believe strongly in that a man needs some space I know some of my friends they are like if he loves me he should stick by my side and talk to me 24/7 common men are like an elastic rubber he needs some space especially when they have problems after a while they will come back more excitedly
Maryoom I agree with this. several guys in my past that chose other girls over me all came back to me years later regretting their choice and wanted me back. but by that time I was over them and not interested especially after what they did. they made their choice and it wasn't me. so it does seem they come back eventually but I have yet to connect with one where it lines up without them choosing another girl over me in the first place. I just don't get their thinking. why would they be selfish then think I'd just take them back as soon as they change their Mind
you are strong enough to express your situation I get you totally , look with the wrong guys or the wrong choice whatever you do you feel unloved or you need to chase him and if it worked out you will loose your sense of self.But again be careful of letting Mr.right goes if he feels like he got your love that is it or he doesn't need anymore effort in your relationship.
Maryoom Yeah good points!
Yes they need space. BUT they also have brains a mouth and a phone. The ones that are mature and have emotional intelligence will communicate this in a safe way. The ones who aren't and are looking at 'other options' OR trying to manipulate you won't. And some will gaslight making the woman feel like she is going crazy. As someone who is studying neuroleadership I know this can be EXTREMELY abusive.
Bibi Lafleur you are right of course this strategy only works with the right respective person not the immature abusive one 👍🏻 you are an expert of course you know better
If a man pulls away let him if he comes back run he's probably a narcissist lol
Bingo
There are millions of people on the planet. If you are with someone who doesnt care for you, it will ruin your self esteem -and you will never feel trust for anyone. Move on. Not ina sad way, but KNOWING you will find better.
When they are pulling away aren't they already good as gone? I let them have all the space they want ... cause I'm gone.
I created space then he met another girl
Regina Marthalia exactly !!! Same happened to me with a man I was seeing maybe 8 months ago
Material Girl mine is happening now :( idk what to bring him back. And btw what you do to make him back?
If he meets someone else he’s not that into you. You can use small mindtricks or ”female intelligence” as long as there’s a strong connection or love there but when he’s moved on - you need to, too. Sorry... Speaking from lots of experience here 🙄.
Christine O hehe yea thats okay. But is that wrong if i still wishing him back? 😅😅 feel so dumb rn
Regina Marthalia not wrong. It’s natural and understandable. But whatever you do - don’t chase him. he has to initiate and really want to come back himself otherwise it will not work in the end. If he doesn’t and moves on as the comment said - so be it. Put all the focus that is now on him onto yourself and your personal growth. And leave him alone. That’s your best chance to either have him come back on his own or “outgrow” him and that old relationship and move onto better things.
Always choose happiness and love yourself first, you’re worth it 🤗☺️
It is nice, when a man really loves you and doesn't go against you. It is not too great when another women gets in the way and he forgets you....wish she would move Florida
Been in a relationship 2 years and I never contact him period. And if he leaves I open the door for him. Stuff they pull makes it not worth their crap they give.
As a woman, I appreciate these things in a relationship as those few men who do these things draw me in; while those who rush forward drive me away.
A good man will never pull away if he feels loved and appreciated. But when he gets criticised or condemned he will pull away. In today’s egoistic “market” where people hunt their own “needs”, we are never satisfied and want more and more and more of the wrong “things”... Everyone of us is created to love each other, then love one another instead of focusing on the materialistic and empty lifestyle. Hug each other, kiss each other, talk nicely to each other, hug each other again. If you are in doubt how you should behave then look at your small kids, look how they love everyone they meet - We Are Created To Love.
The way i see it is if he pulled away than he doesn't want you..if he was the one he would have never done that.
Thank you so much for your advice beautiful...It really works. I even block him in social media..It takes 2 weeks before trying to find way to reconnect with me again...😁..Now he is much loving and caring..more power..
Your comment gives me hope
You can say whatever you want , but I don’t love him anymore.
Clayton- I wanted to say thank-you for the attachment styles video that you posted a few weeks back. It has helped me so much to understand that aspect of myself and how it makes me react in certain situations, and little by little change that.
It’s very healthy for men to pull away. If women feel insecure that says the woman needs to work on herself and love herself so she’s not feeling needy.
Lisa Marie yes please don’t chase him . Invest your time in doing something productive that you couldn’t do while you were together 😜my opinion in general though! Cheers 🥂
@@silvermont331 there is a difference between a man who is pulling a way for months without any sign of reaching you out i.e " confused and narcissist men" or a mature man who does not say much for couples of days and go to his "cave mode". When the mature man feels stressed, he does not express it like we females do, we talk about it and seek for advices but men do not do that, they pull away until they figure out how to solve their life problems which is not related to us at all, they certainly do not need our advices or help at allll. But the "confused men" or "narcissist" they pull away and come back whenever they feel, to make you confused or to manipulate you because their intentions is either to play with your emotions or simply because he is not sure about his life in general, you, wether he wants to be with you or not. You can tell the difference if you observe well, we like to pay attention to details, that is our way to save more time.
hanan mohamed cx
Healthy for him to pull away lol oh please, it's him being selfish and playing some stupid game. I wouldn't waste my time with a guy doing these things. There are mature men out there who don't pull back because they are healthy minded. They have good communication with you and don't play games.
Perfect timing for me to hear this. Thank you.
You’re welcome! 💕
Helena, how about teaching men how to behave around women, and just learn to communicate and not play mind games. Both men and women are culprits of this scenario!!
We allow it, which is why people get hurt. How about sowing ones wild oats and not promising anyone anything and when you are finally ready to settle down with that special mate, you respect and are submissive to each other.
My ex boyfriend and I broke up around Christmas. I know his whole situation. He's been depressed about his past and dealing with his 21 yr old daughter who is messed up. We are still friends and he Thanks me all the time for giving him space. We connect on a level he has never experienced before with anyone even his now dead ex wife.
I can honestly say I've never loved anyone else like him .
I feel helpless to help him through this.
Other than just be there for him and listen to him.
That's the hardest thing to not try to fix him .
But I can't and don't.
I'm 54, I love his family and they absolutely love me .
I've tried to move on but I know we are meant to be together. How do I use feeling statements to be their for him
yes! dont chase let it flow!
Omg just listening to this, being single is much better whatever she is saying is too much work I’d rather be myself and if he can’t accept it “goodbye”
Your going to be alone for a long kick ass time.
@@danilaroche1156 I actually have a very loving boyfriend for several years now
Okay. As a woman who needs a lot of space. I've pulled back from a man, not because I dont like him anymore but because I'm busy or hes moving too fast...
But have been misread as completely pulling out of the relationship or whatever.
Just go on do you, if you like the person...live your life and stay receptive. Some of us just need to regroup. I'm introverted and get overwhelmed and feel pressured
It's a "pumping the brakes a minute". But I dont think going radio silent is okay. If they do that?
Move along. They should at least tell you what's going on...
Well, she said if a guy likes you. Half the time, I think this may all be true to some degree, half the other, if a guy has no psychological problems, he will stay with you, unless, ofcourse, he doesn't like you.
I've never heard this kind of info or explanation, but I realize how true it is! Thanks for the wonderful insight!
You’re welcome!
This is empowering. I totally agree. U need to center yourself and be the best version of u
Too. Much talk less content
Right, these people some times do not say anything at all and just bla bla
I looove Helena, her work has been life changing for me and she has such a beautiful soul. Have you two done any videos together? If so I'd love to see, would be an awesome combo :)
Stop obsessing over the guy if he pulls away. Get busy. Have a life of balance. Be a person that is able to be patient and kind. Stop trying to control the relationship. You can't force a relationship. Most importantly trust yourself and grow and learn about how you can improve the way you deal with people. --- really -- it's just common sense.
Helena Hart i love your discussion on famine and masculine energy. It does make sense HOWEVER, what should a woman do in terms of these energies when the man lacks the masculine energy so the woman naturally needs to step in order get things done bc ppl depend on it.
When he leaves, start your life over, he can't be trusted and don't value you. Start your life over with someone else. Its your life, live it to be happy instead of playing games back and fourth.
So smart good advice I hv been in a loving relationship for nelly 8yrs now and a man does not always pull away because he is not interested anymore Mybe he just needs time to himself,Time to miss u I totally get what you mean You need to injoy yourself and appreciate yourself first an a man will admire that in you My man says he is his happyest when Iam happy I really like your advice thow very well explaned Tks u
You’re welcome! 💕
Everyone needs space but with in reason
I am too emotionally aware and intuitive and as a Libra woman Gemini rising girl, I love my space and refuse to take a leading/chasing role in relationships. I want to be led by a good man with love and compassion not those gender role leading bullshit men
Lol If he runs you bet he ain't coming back because ain't nobody got time for that. Plus I am too busy and don't really appreciate an immature none spiritual man. I can do bad all by myself. Nobody can fulfill me more than the creator Mother Father God. So go and don't come back love!!
I'm here because of Helena ❤️
❤️❤️❤️
Maybe he’s just met his soulmate & the one he has a soul contract with & regardless of what you do, you are getting discarded
I think it depends on the situation and the relationship. Some men communicate better than others. And some men use their communication skills or that they aren't great at showing emotions as a crutch. There's gotta be some give and take. If a guy expects a gal to walk through the fire of her fears of abandonment, he can sure toss her a line and just say he has a lot on his mind or needs a little time to process. We would be that considerate to them.
I agree with the girls big time 😇,I just whistle now once sparks disappeared.And say....NEXT!
This just popped up on my feed. Exactly what I needed when I needed it. Thanks 👍
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Just focus on your life.Your true man will accept you holistically including what you choose to do in your life.The magic is he will even support what you are doing in yourlife however weird it is.
This video was absolutely amazing, it was so spot on I thought oh my gosh is this about me single handily..... of course it's not but the accuracy was incredible.... you have a new subscriber
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! 💕
Yes, good info. The devil is in the details, though, isn't it. You have to feel what the separation does to you to overcome the anxiety or loss that comes up. No one wants to be put on a pedestal because it means you aren't seeing them for who they are or aren't being seen for who you are if you are up there. I personally don't use terms of masculine or feminine energy. We all develop the same brains. Right hemisphere handles the feeling internal part of us and left the more analytical, logical outward thinking mode. They get messages from the lower functions of the limbic emotion area and the lower brain of sensation. I just think some men might balk at using their 'feminine side', or emotions if they are called that, when we all have that. Otherwise, good info, thanks.
Right, especially guys over 40 yrs of age won't admit to having a feeling or soft side, even though we all have it and it's healthy to express your feelings.
sheri 0 some men are women inside
Great advice- I made the mistake despite similar advice, of contacting him after we broke up- not all the time- but maybe once a week. I realize that was not the way to go. Thank you.
You’re welcome!
Ok after the long intro, the tips are awesome , unique , nice job
For a positive post : a beautiful flower next to a beautiful flower
I agree about that vulnerability working... If we stop talking men seem to wanna tell u more ..
I switch into my female energy when I'm out with my man, but women are always saying hi to him, he says hi back cuz he is nice like that. But he loves the attention, he knows it upsets me but can't stop them from saying hi to him. I don't get mad to offten but I get tired of it. Most of these women are friends and acquaintances. I feel like a third wheel in my relationship.
Value urself 💜 miss him but if he runs too far for too long His loss baby💕
Learned nothing new but that is a GREAT GREAT VIDEO for someone who still doesnt know that.
I really am shocked. The only thing I got out of her is that basically women have to be damsels in distress for a man to love us. A male energy is getting things done. So women don't get things done it can be a female's energy woman's energy to work and problem-solve like she said. That's so stupid. And I am not a feminist and it still sounds really stupid to me.
she said at the beginning that both men and women have masculine AND feminine energy, so the part of you that gets things done is your masculine energy and the part of you that receives and is in your feelings etc. is your feminine energy. she said that being in touch with both parts of yourself is important
Actually she's recomending empowerment from a mind set not an action set. Shifting from doing stuff to bring him.. which is actually damsel in distress.. to feeling confident and not putting all in him. It's a balance that begins with taking control of a run away /flight or what do I do/fight emotions. Allowing by embracing how amazing You are. Namaste 🦋
I agree with Mimi, I've heard Helena say so many times that it's about ramping up BOTH your masculine and feminine energies, combining them and using them in ways that are going to work for you
She's not against women being in touch with their masculine but if you want to attract a masculine man, you need to get in touch with your feminine, it's true. Sounds like a healthy and empowering view of feminine energy to me. :)
Ruthie Robles ,I m a masculine girl.nd bcoz of dis energy I won d heart of d hottest guy in my clg.all d girly girls r soooo jelous of me!!!
Self love ladies. You wouldnt be searching for it in him if you gave it to yourself. Fk his space. Give me mine so i can give to myself noone else can. She makes a lot of sense. Its not that he was never interested, our own insecurities and negative energy pushes everything away we really want
Put ourselves in first place. That’s it.
....dump him?
Exactly
Yeah
I don't get no response of the guy I like
Tf?? I am NOT gonna sit around and wait til he wants! Im independent and it is whenI want!!
I screwed it up. I couldn't anchor myself and stay in my feminine energy. Now he's gone. We said goodbye. I don't feel his soul close to mine anymore. We'll meet for sure in the future. I'll be just radiating my feminine energy and allowing for anything to happen but I won't be waiting or anticipating. 🤗
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IMHO, HH hits it the nail right on the head here! Be yourself and and genuine ladies! We'll come around...eventually.
Thanks for sharing this, Riley. Folks need to hear it!
Great advice!!! Very helpful while going through this experience Thank you.
You’re welcome Janet, I’m glad this was helpful!
But if the space has been 10 days long that seems like plenty of time.
I lost the will to live after 2 mins..yawwnnnnnnn
Lol
So much for just being your authentic self and being loved for being genuine and not playing games. I guess we gotta confuse the shit out of them and us.
This is a really GREAT video. Thank you!
You’re welcome!
Men should be in their masculine energy and go for what they want...and be a man about it.
Then women won’t be tempted to do that...
Men today have lost their abilities to be in their masculine energy...
Honestly these days the genders are under such confusion. It’s sad to see what silly games are being played.
What happened to the days men would see what they want and pursue it honestly and commit fully to it with our play games...
Ladies are the prize man cannot understand that.
We complete their lives and bring so much love and abundance.
Ladies if he acts difficult move on he’s not worth your time.
Men need to stop being in there ego and treating lovely ladies like they have to behave a certain way to be accepted.,. Or a option.
You are more than enough.
Anyone who treats you any less than that or wants you to act a certain way it commit, then they not worth your time or trouble.
You are beautiful, you are life givers in ever way... Men don’t even know what they missing with out a beautiful woman at their side.
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From Los Angeles
I have a man, in my life & he said he's a marine. I can believe that, because he has that stiff look. The only thing is he has no smile. He could be a narc or just a stiff Marine. We are so new that I can't tell if he's for real or a player. He treats me nice & gives me credit & he does let me help him out. He doesn't act ga ga, & neither do I. He is in another state & talks me everyday, but far from over doing it. I'm going a long with what he wants for now, because I don't know where I'm going. One thing, he is living with his ex & they are platonic, but I'm not an idiot. For now, just friends unless he gets rid of her. Not going to have a threesome, no way in Hell!! I left my psychopath husband & no damn man is ever going to play games with me again!!
But if you don't speak what you want out of the relationship...he never going to know...I think you have to be real with your feelings first...and if you know that's the man you really want tell them straight up...and if he is distant and doesn't seem to be reaching towards you...well move on....
question./ or, advice please. I am in an 8 month relationship with a guy who has been
Pretty amazing. In the past I have had nothing but bad experiences. I pretty much assume anyone who I meet in the future will be the same.
Up until recently this guy has proven differently.
HOWEVER, I was in his phone. And I know its automatic to assume I was ‘snooping’ I really wasn’t though. He handed me his phone. He gave it to me so that I could look for mine that I had misplaced. I don’t know how to handle an iphone so after calling myself looking for my phone and still not finding it, I was in the process of calling myself again when I found a conversation between him and an ex employee of his.
This ‘ex’ employee sent him a ‘dirty pic’ of herself. The conversation started as such and he didn’t respond, she then basically called him out of his name for not responding to then he finally did saying ‘ im just now seeing this, sorry. I like it though’ wish I could see it in person though’.
The next message immediately then went to an employee of his he JUST hired but who SHE recommended. So the conversation switched.
Anyway, I EXPLODED. I acted out of control. I did. Sorry. Bad past experiences.
His explanation? He says that yes, they use to have a casual sexual relationship BEFORE we met. He swears that he has never cheated on me. He says that he doesn’t know WHY she sent the pic but that yes, he handled it wrong and that he reacted in appropriate about it. I guess we are working on the relationship now.
I don’t really know what to do. I am 35 years old and do NOT want to continue to deal with the same type of drama, issues, trust factors. I don’t know what to do.
BECKY DUQUE just want to start by saying all your emotions and feelings and responses are completely normal. What's not normal is him saying 'he would like to see it in person though'. And engaging in conversation with her. Any man I know that TRULY loves/likes his woman would not do this. Unless he is extremely insecure and needs the attention and keeps women on the side 'just in case'. Also I suspect he may have wanted to get caught. Which could stem from childhood issues of always disappointing an important woman in his life. Aka his mum - but now it's you. Many men with porn addictions are like this. IF you want to stay with him HE now needs to earn your trust again. You did nothing wrong and him admitting he fucked up is a good start. BUT its all about the ACTIONS when it comes to men. If his actions don't match his words and he doesn't do the work to gain your trust - then you have your answers. And these actions could be anything from deleting her pics and contact details to giving you access to his phone when you want. If he has no hidden agenda that shouldn't be an issue. If has any problems with those suggestions then that's a red flag. Good luck xx. 😚
I appreciate your advice Bibi. Thanks so much. I really needed some advice as I am TORN. Yesterday marks 2 weeks since that happened and up until 3 days ago maybe that things were going well. He did acknowledge he 'responded inappropriately' and says he could have handled it differently. Since then, we have spent the two weekends together and communicate daily. He lives about an hour away from me so it is hard to see each other during the week. Things were 'in progress' for us up until these 3 days ago. He casually mentions that 'her sister' has reached out to him for work. She called him saying that she would be in town for a few months and wanted to know if he had a position open for her for just a few months. The thing is, is that he did 'tell' me about it, yes. However, for him to even consider giving her sister a job is just beyond me. Seriously? IMO what is it about her that he just NEEDS to keep ties with? My guy has a car lot business of his own so his mechanic is the (picture girls) brother and while she no longer works for him her brother does and now their other sister is reaching out for work? I don't get it. I don't understand and I guess I never will. So yes, naturally we had a disagreement about it because he doesn't see the problem in hiring her sister since he 'knows' her and can 'trust' her and yet, me of course, I have an issue with it because (picture girl) has a means of staying in his life.He had already said he knew he had trust to build back up but his actions don't seem to follow his words. - agh!- I love him, I do.. Im so tired of being insecure and jealous really isn't my chosen/favorite type of feeling. I just don't know what to do with this. time will tell I guess.
Most useful video ever seen on RUclips!
Thank you!
Helena, thank you for this video. I knew that before, but then I did some moves with a man, let's say proactive moves because I thought he was shy and it felt like he really wanted to get closer to me but he couldn't. I followed the advice on the net about shy guys - that with them you should take the steps even if it feels not feminine. I felt like he's incredibly shy with me (even though he's not young and he's successful and active in life etc.) But maybe he fears something, cause he's 20 years older than me and he had very bad experiences with women, although I saw he liked me, and all signs of liking a woman by a shy guy were there. Another thing, he knows I'm in the process of divorce now, but I said that it's me who started the divorce and he knows that my almost ex-husband is a terrible person and we don't live together anymore etc. I'm confused if I did well inviting him for dinner at my home (he was here but he fixed the electricity, so that's different).
I dont have the time to sit around and wait for ppl im gone.
So ...in other words ...LEAVE THE MAN ALONE !!!!
I went no contact 2 weeks he chased me came back and he’s flaking again only 2 weeks in.
It’s like he gives me 10 miles then takes back 8 😖