Here's Why Perfectionism Will Destroy You and Everything You Love
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 6 июл 2024
- Remember what your doctor told ya by using Abridge! Go here to get the free app: abridgeapp.com/WheezyWaiter
"The only way to get a subscription is to subscribe." - Albert Einstein
Support me on Patreon?
/ wheezywaiter
Opening and closing music from my band, Driftless Pony Club!
store.dftba.com/products/buck...
Buy things?
store.dftba.com/collections/c...
wheezywaiter.spreadshirt.com
Wheezy Videos in this video
We Quit Sugar • We Quit Sugar For A Mo...
feelin' Lazy • feelin' lazy
i have it • I have it
Stuff about Michael Cimino's disaster of a movie
www.denofgeek.com/us/movies/h...
----------------------------------------------------------------
The only cure for my asthma is for you to follow these things.
• Patreon / wheezywaiter
• Facebook / craigbenzine
• Twitter / wheezywaiter
• Reddit / beardlovers
• Instagram: / wheezywaiter
----------------------------------------------------------------
THANKS PATRONS
Jakub Koziol
Byron Marsh 
Приколы
Here‘s an idea that helped me reduce perfectionism and self-criticism: think in terms of having a „floor“ and a „ceiling“. The floor is the absolute minimum you have to do to feel you have accomplished something and the ceiling is what you are striving to reach, but it‘s okay if you don‘t make it. For example, my floor is drawing for 10 minutes a day and my ceiling is making a beautiful drawing. The low entry barrier makes it that I can draw almost every day for usually more than 10 minutes and from time to time I draw something that I like. Perfectionists dont‘t have any room between the floor and ceiling, it‘s either failure or succes. Hope this helps somebody :) PS: I‘ve read about this concept in the book Mini-Habits, if I‘m not mistaken. Edit: the book is actually called "How to be an imperfectionist" by Stephen Guise, Mini Habits is another book of his.
That does help, thank you! ^.^
Thank you!
Actually sounds really helpful
This is really handy, yeah. I use this when I'm designing something. I refer to it in my head as 'minimum viable' myself. Focus on getting the core functionality working before you start adding features in your head until the project feels so unattainable its impossible to start. Very handy.
That is super helpful. Thanks for sharing!
"Strive for fine." - thank you.
This is going to be my new motto.
THIS x 10000
Next tshirt
The perfect ending. :)
100% the thing that first hooked me on this channel ages ago was your editing. It is by far not your average editing. Comedy timing is way harder than people realize.
Agreed! Craig's editing is definitely top tier on RUclips
Agree! Good comedic timing is rare.
Diana L anyone remember his Casey Neistat phase?
"Ask me what's the most important thing in comedy."
"What's the most important thing in com..."
"TIMING!"
Maybe this isn't the best joke for print.
"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly" -- ancient karaoke saying.
- my dating history
I can't write a comment because I can't think of the perfect comment
This hits me hard!
This
Thinking about it for 3 minutes, this is now my answer to this comment: I even struggled with an answer to this :D
I just imagine all the people wanting to reply to this comment and telling you how much they relate to it, but they don't post any comments 'cause they can't come up with the perfect reply.
yes
Regret. 1 million times worse than imperfection. Write a beautifully imperfect screen play.
Jake Hill I regret not making things perfectly?
If the new Star Wars movies can make billions it can't be too bad.
Making this my new motto.
"Here's Why Perfectionism Will Destroy You and Everything You Love
"
Way ahead of you there buddy
This made me laugh cause same
At least you were able to finish and send this comment
Perfectionism: Wanting to edit out the sound of his daughter running around in the background. Fighting Perfectionism: Realizing how beautiful that sound is and leaving it in.
I think you’ve become my new favorite channel to watch. Every video is like watching a well-produced TV show.
Ay scott! Cool to see you here (your videos remind me of his style and also both are great)
my youtube worlds are collidinggg
Thanks, Scott! You're channel's awesome, too! I think the first one I saw was the Rhett and Link one. WTF, Rhett and Link?!
Do I hear collab?!?
@@cupfulofeathers hope so!
I feel like showing this video to everyone who goes "You're just determined! That's a great trait." when I tell them that no, I'm exhausted and constantly frustrated and upset with myself for not reaching an impossible goal. Yes, it sometimes make me more "productive" to their eyes but this is something that it's destroying my life. Here's to therapy and good medication for helping me every day, but even a simple comment like this on RUclips has taken over 30min to be written. I can only hope that this view of perfectionism stops being so positive and wished for. Strive for fine!
So we’re not gonna talk about the menacingly approaching pie?
Lol I wasn't sure if I was missing something
To help the video become perfect
Pie in the sky. Get it?
@@cozyhomemakingvibes I've just now Googled that, I've never heard that expression before. I get it now!
Souvennir it took me a couple minutes to get it too... I heard it when I asked out loud “ why is there pie in the sky-ohh... got it.” 🤣 I’m old. It’s an old idiom. 🥧 🌌
My subconscious thought: “if it’s not perfect, why try?”
Being Jeni story of my life.
How will you know when you're done and able to move on? A bit more effort will make it even better.
“If you ain’t first, you’re last.”
-Ricky Bobby’s life motto, courtesy of Reese Bobby
Being Jeni so me on most days. I’m doing better.
Exactly! So just go eat more chocolate, I what I tell myself.
I'm sick of perfectionism holding me back. I can't even sketch as often as I want because I feel like I only wanna fill my sketch book with "perfect" sketches. Juuust incase someone looks through it. But sketch books are meant for practice! How ass backwards is that?!
I didnt think about it that way before 🤔 Good point.
*exactly* me
It happens. I think it can be the result of a semi-hostile environment for sketches/drawings. If people around you shit on your sketches, then you might start to as well. Your sketch book is your safe space, man. Screw up a drawing or two, or ten. It's okay. And tell yourself it's okay. It'll help.
I have deliberately scribbled on pages in my sketchbook before, just to mess them up a bit. Or deliberately bought cheap materials to screw around with, like construction paper or kids' art supplies.
You seen those awesome mandalas Buddhist monks make with sand? They're perfect looking and take weeks to complete. Once they're finished they just destroy them to remind themselves of the impermanent nature of everything... Seems kinda relevant I guess coz even if it was "perfect" it's not going to last forever.
"Some is better than none, done is better than perfect" feels impossible to really accept but I'll keep trying :)
got to be honest, the whole "I can't sleep" thing makes a lot of sense now. lol! poor guy, the perfectionist mind is quite the hellscape
also, I love how the video ended. its was touching and affirming that you and people alike are really fine. you have incredible strengths that can have some draw backs, and youre managing them before they manage you.
Perfect timing! I just submitted a paper on perfectionism and anxiety for my university english class a few days ago.
The things I found were that there were two type of perfectionism: one where you always strive to do better (adaptive), and one where you fear failure (maladaptive). The type that was focused on in this video was maladaptive perfectionism, and it has been linked to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and a whole bunch of bad stuff. Adaptive perfectionism, on the other hand, has actually been linked to lower anxiety and increased life satisfaction. Great video!
That is actually super interesting! Thanks for that insight :D
this sounds so interesting. like trying to "channel" and change your perfectionism instead of just ignoring it.
Did your research show any ways to switch perfectionist types?
So you're saying this video wasn't perfectly balanced
RuyLopezQB6 hahah 😬
This speaks to my soul.
"Strive for fine" is a quote I'm going to try to live by from now on.
I love that there was background noise towards the end of the video, and if it were any other topic I'm sure you would've rerecorded.
"Perfect is the enemy of good."
Hmm that quote is OK, but think it could be better
And I heard somewhere that "good is the enemy of great" But I feel that the distinction is subjective anyway, and any good is better than nothing at all
After several failed attempts at writing my perfect roleplaying game, eleven years ago I decided to write a game just to practice writing games. Just to see if I could get a game DONE and printed and sold. I decided on a genre of rpgs that I was unfamiliar with and not even all that interested in. I made research, got some feedback, wrote a game I knew was sub-par compared to many other games in the same category. But that was fine, because the goal I had set for myself was not "make the best, most perfect game" but rather "make a game, get it done".
Finishing that project helped me immensely. I've been publishing good-enough rpg books at a rate of about one per year since then (this year is the only exception, really). I've still not made the game I originally wanted to make. The things I've learned along the way has changed my tastes in games so much I'm not even sure I want to, anymore. I'm just happy making these good-enough games that don't sell very well. They have their audience, sure, but most of them have sold under 100 copies. It's OK. Making games is not my job. It's just something that I like doing.
I'm constantly telling my students (I'm a CS/programming teacher) that code is never "done", never perfect. You just run out of time, and whatever you have when you run out of time is the finished project. Don't worry about it. Make it Good Enough, and mind the pareto principle.
@@TrebbleBucket In my case, I write tabletop RPG books; settings and rules and adventures/campaigns. The same category of game as D&D, basically…
(I'd namedrop some of my creations to try and get some eyeballs on them, but they're all in my native Swedish… so not very interesting to most of you, I guess)
I've been thinking about writing a "choose your own adventure" book at some point, but haven't gotten around to it yet… Seems like fun! And the structured way of thinking required would, I think, suit me.
(Min engelska i skrift är inte särskilt bra).
Din kommentar inspirerar mig. Jag har precis bestämt mig för att ta mitt skrivande ”på allvar” och planerar att slutföra den bok jag påbörjat. Problemet är just det faktum att jag inte kan låta bli att ta skrivandet på allvar, får panik och prestationsångest. Medan jag skriver ser jag den granskande läsaren framför mig i huvudet och det dödar min inspiration.
Har du något konkret tips till mig för att hantera detta?? Skulle verkligen uppskatta den hjälpen :) Tanken att bara skriva klart boken utan att skriva klart den perfekt är ju god men det är supersvårt för mig.
@@lisa-matilda3927 Jag förstår att det är svårt! För mig har det nog mest handlat om att "tjata" på mig själv om att det är OK om folk inte gillar det jag skriver. Som lärare tycker jag ju inte mindre om mina elever för att deras första uppsatser etc. inte är perfekta. De skriver inte för att det ska bli perfekt, de skriver för att lära sig. Om det sedan råkar bli bra så är det väl positivt, men inget måste.
Så… Tanken kanske inte behöver vara att den kritiske läsaren blir "nöjd" utan att tänka att den kritiske läsaren absolut inte kommer att bli det oavsett vad man gör - men att det inte spelar någon roll, för den kritiske läsaren är inte den person vars åsikt spelar roll. Alla behöver öva för att bli bra. Någon författare har sagt att alla författare har ett ganska stort antal dåliga ord som måste ut innan man kommer till de bra.
Det är för övrigt något jag använder varje gång jag tränar på något: om jag tänker att det jag gör bara är övning och att det egentligen inte spelar någon roll hur bra jag lyckas - eftersom det enda som spelar roll är att jag får övning, och det får jag oavsett om jag lyckas eller inte.
Själv jobbar jag också ganska strukturerat - när jag skriver så börjar jag med kapitelnamn och en övergripande idé, sedan gör jag punktlistor för varje kapitel med vad som ska hända, sedan gör jag mer detaljerade punkter. Tills allt jag vill ha med finns på plats. Sedan går jag helt enkelt igenom punktlistorna och förvandlar varje punkt till vanlig text. Det gör att jag ganska lätt kan dela upp arbetet, och även tvinga mig att skriva även de dagar så jag inte har någon "inspiration". Då brukar jag ta en punkt eller två och göra text av, och tänka att "ja, jag vet att det här blir klumpigt uttryckt nu och med konstiga syftningar och så, men det struntar jag i - jag kommer ju göra flera vändor redigering sen ändå".
Det är också en stor hjälp för mig generellt - jag jobbar i "rundor", där varje runda är en förbättring. Så inget jag gör i stunden är "för dåligt". När jag gjort text av alla punkter så går jag igenom hela texten. Då är ju texten tekniskt sett "komplett"; allt jag vill få med finns på plats - men den kan slipas på, i mån av tid. Sedan tar jag in flera vändor välvilliga, konstruktiva korrläsare och redigerare, som ofta kommer med jättebra kommentarer och förslag som gör texten bättre (eller som åtminstone tvingar mig att reflektera över mina val, och göra aktiva val kring vad som ska behållas och inte).
Jag vet inte om något av mitt ovanstående svammel är till någon hjälp; jag vet att jag skiljer mig från många författare i och med att jag inte flödesskriver och "upptäcker medan jag skriver" utan istället jobbar strukturerat och "fyrkantigt". Så ifall mina knep inte passar dig så håller jag ändå tummarna för att du hittar mentala verktyg som hjälper dig på motsvarande sätt!
@@krank23 Stort tack för alla sjukt bra tips när det gäller att förhålla sig till skrivandet!
Prestationsångest är ju verkligen en grej som kan sätta käppar i hjulet för en när det gäller skrivandet, en bra metod är ju att göra som du säger och tänka att oavsett vad jag skriver kommer den kritiska läser ändå inte att gilla det, haha.
Jag skriver löpande men det kanske hade känts bra att "punkta" upp ideer som du beskriver, får testa det också :)
Another term this relates to that stems from meditation is "radical okayness." You can just be okay with whatever you are and whatever you're going through or doing. It's liberating.
It is frightening how...perfect...the timing was for you to release this. Perfectionism has stopped me from taking so many opportunities and learning from them and instead I avoided them because I was concerned with things not going as perfectly as I envisioned them.
Consider me inspired!
"The cost of perfection is prohibitive."
I don't know who said this first, but I heard it from UncleAtom on Tabletop Minions, and I have adopted it as a mantra.
I used to draw all the time as a kid and then sometime as a teen I stopped being able to finish any of my drawings, and after some years of that, I stopped being able to even begin. This was when I was 19. I just managed to start sketching again a year ago, at the age of 41.
Perfectionism robbed me of more than twenty years of drawing practice.
The cost of perfection is prohibitive, and I am done trying to save up to pay for it.
Uncle Atom, the Marcus Aurelius of tabletop wargaming / hobbying.
Literally the video I´ve watched before this one was UncleAtoms latest one :D. Great dude. And it´s great you´re into mini painting because that means your artistic skills heavent atrophied nearly as much as they would have if you stopped doing anything creative at all. Good luck with your drawing!
I really like how you kept the take with the background noise
Perfectionism sucks!
My piano teacher taught that practice makes proficient. I feel capable when I think of that because proficient is doable where as the other isn't.
I have two thoughts about this, and feel this so hard. I have a comment and a suggestion for a future video!
1) Perfectionism has robbed me of a lot of things, and learning to reject perfectionism allowed me to finish my dissertation, and more recently, to finally apply for postdocs after a year of dragging my feet. So yeah, working on throwing perfectionism in the bin, and I appreciate this video. I feel seen!
2) Something related to perfectionism is procrastination, and you should listen to the recent Ologies podcast on Volitional Psychology (Procrastination), where Alie Ward interviews Joseph Ferrari, the leading expert on procrastination. It's amazing. And I think you maybe should do a video on procrastination, and interview Dr. Ferrari (who takes procrastination very seriously and explains why everybody procrastinates but only 20% of people are chronic procrastinators).
Thank you for the tip! www.alieward.com/ologies/procrastination
Oh sweet I'm gonna listen rn
I consider the first draft of anything I write the "diarrhea draft," because it's mostly a pile of sh... I just take what I like and delete the rest. I do multiple rewrites of everything, but refuse to polish it at an early stage. I might put in a few notes to myself in the text, like "clarify this and add a bit about...." then just go on. It's a good mental discipline, but not necessarily easy to achieve. I wanted my history dissertation to be at least "non-embarrassing," as far as the writing went. The content I knew was solid.
Since I posted this a few years ago, I didn't get any of those postdoc positions, but I did get a full on core faculty job. And that's despite being sure it would never happen for me. So like, please do the thing. You will thank yourself later.
This video is perfect.....
Lol, I've been called out. 😂 Needed to watch this today.
One of my college professors used to say “Practice makes better,” and I quite like that sentiment :)
I've also heard 'practice makes progress' which nicely sticks to the alliteration too!
I needed this. Now I must not try to PERFECTLY correct my perfectionism.
haha
Your perfectionism reminds me of my perfectionism, that I hate. and it makes me think that maybe perfectionism is a very average trait and... that makes me anxious...
'you discover through the ACT of writing' - i yelled 'WHAT?!' out loud because I DIDN'T KNOW THIS (because i never started writing) AND HAVE BEEN BEMOANING A LACK OF PLOT FOR YEARS. thank you craig, this video has helped me more than you can imagine.
"the word, dumb, is as meaningless as the word perfection"
the words i needed to hear, thank you
I find that my perfectionism comes from a search for validation - if I do something well, I'll earn praise from others or myself. That validation feels key to maintaining my confidence and self esteem - it feels important to my mental health. This is unhealthy in a way - it conditions my mental health upon other people's or my own standards of quality. Perfectionism tends to artificially raise those standards to an expectation of flawlessness. This makes good mental health extremely hard to attain and maintain - that's a bad place to be.
How do I fix this? I see two ways. I could find sources of validation other than praise and tune into them. I could also be mindful of my own standards and keep them reasonable if they're getting too high - rather than expecting flawlessness, I could learn to expect simple effort and growth. Walking either or both of these paths isn't something I feel totally capable of - perhaps I can get support from a therapist, a loved one, or a friend.
Just my thoughts.
"Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing. And that is a great way to lose weight."
-Craig Benzine
I had a math teacher who used to say "the only perfect thing is the empty set"
Is it empty or is it null? That is the question.
Wheezy, I've been watching you from almost the very first vid. I wanted you to know I think you are a very thoughtful person and that you made a difference in my life, especially artistically. This video if a fine example. As someone that's been sitting on an "opus" for years, vids like this make me realize that done is better than perfect.
In terms of writing, there is a thing called a discovery draft. It's like a first draft but not because you don't need an outline or a finished idea. You just start writing all of the scenes you have and you put them into some kind of coherent order. This is great because:
1. It means no outline - I cannot outline
2. You just start writing and it's awesome
3. It doesn't have to be any good at all because you are just 'discovering' the ideas and plot as you go
This is working for me. I am five chapters into my first book and I have the next three planned with no idea what happens after that but it's okay because I will have figured out what I am doing with them by the time I get there.
Discovery drafts are awesome!!!
For the longest time I thought I was just unmotivated and lazy but very recently I identified my working habits as that: fear of failure or fear being average and some form of perfectionism, everything in your video I have related to and honestly I think the biggest thing is figuring out that that’s what’s holding you back: You’re not incapable, you’re afraid of being perceived that way and there’s nothing wrong with being a beginner or not yet a master, you have to start somewhere, everyone starts somewhere, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad
Thank you Mr Wheezy Waiter
I have had so many of those types of thoughts that criticize others and elevate myself, as well as struggling to begin a task. Thank you for tranaparently sharing. One of my fave Wheezy Waiter videos yet!
You're always a delight, and I appreciate your insight!
Nice rhyme!
"It prevents practice"
Oh hell yeah, agreed
- Liisa, cried during the first three driving lessons and quit, because I didn't drive perfectly the first time
oh my god, are you me?? i haven't driven in over a year because I'm afraid of driving poorly
It's exactly the same for me!!
was just watching your old "the perfect video" bit, what a coincidence. amazing what you've been able to do within your videos since all that time ago, what an evolution!
I get ideas for songs all the time, and I start working on them, then realize I can't get them to sound like they do in my head and give up. This is more of an inspiring video to make me push to try to finish them even if I'm not enjoying them.
Have you ever thought of studying fixed vs growth mindset? I feel like a lot of perfectionists struggle with a fixed mindset and getting over that helps get over perfectionism. Speaking from personal experience. >.
9:36 The cure: Realize that you are indeed a hot mess of a person, and also remember that God knows this, but loves you anyway. This is a life principal which allows you to see doing a lousy job as infinitely better that never trying because you still believe that you are better than a bumbling fool on your own. Once you fully realize and embrace that you (along with the every singe other person ever to live) know virtually nothing, have next to no power, and are a spec of dust in the grand theme of things, you will be set free. Why? Because God loves YOU specifically, with all of your unique imperfections. He doesn't define you as your flaws, but as his precious child that still has some growing to do.
Jonathan Tash , thank you
And he'll throw you in Hell anyway if you accidentally worshiped him wrong!
I feel so called out. Beautifully laid out, and wonderfully elaborated! One video of why I love all your videos
I really needed this video today. Perfectionism has been slowly ruining my life for a while now, but it all just seems so overwhelming to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Thank you for posting this. I can't express enough how much I needed to hear someone tell me, "Strive for fine."
Something I do is remember that the last time we had someone who was perfect was nailed to a tree.
would be first if I didn't have to make this comment perfect
I'm going to be a jerk to you now, as I am a perfectionist myself. You didn't use a capital W and didn't use a point at the end of that sentence.
I really enjoy this channel, especially this video as me writing articles and editorials and even facebook posts is me constantly asking myself "is this good? is this better than before? I should be better than a year ago". Thank you for "strive for fine"
Your "do what's fun" video really helped me relax, I see how the concept has stayed with you through time as well. Thank you for that.
I would like to recommend the yt vid “Leading A Creative Life” by Matt Colville
You know EVERY phone has a record app.
Do they transcribe?
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this! I suffer from perfectionism and I felt like with every point you made you could have been talking about me. It can be so lonely because the perfectionist does not want the world to see your flaws but then you don't really connect with people because they don't see all of you, the vulnerability of you. I battle myself with what I write, what I say and always with the notion of how to edit anything so I will remain in high esteem. It feels good to have someone acknowledge it and be open about it. You are a kindred spirit indeed! I love how you continue to challenge yourself and be open to share it with the world.
In the 6 years that I have been seeing and enjoying your videos, this was the one that make me to subscribe. Thank you for all those videos, and I am looking forward to all the amazing things that you will create. Cheers Wheezy.
Craig, I really appreciated finding this video today. Thank you for making this terrible day somewhat better and sharing your struggles.
I have no idea how I came across this channel years ago, but you are one of the most genuine RUclipsr I’ve seen. And absolutely true. I always wanted to make RUclips videos about the history of baking and baking... but I always feel like I couldn’t ever make it as perfect as all those baking/cooking videos on RUclips... so I don‘t make them :( and then I feel sad. Vicious circle guys.
This video got a thumbs up from me and saved to a playlist for me to watch again and again. I needed this more than I realized.
“Strive for fine”... haha. This is awesome. Love your energy.
This has been the most useful and eye-opening video I have watched in the past year. I really needed to hear all of this, thanks so much!
So be okay with doing things terribly as long as your doing things you want to do. "Strive for fine" Love it!
I needed to hear this so badly! Thank you for making this video!!
this video is one of my favorites that you’ve ever made. its simple, but its personal. you are awesome and i would love to one day see a wheezy screenplay or book!
craig thank you for making this!! i am a 22 year old creative and ive been really struggling w this and just starting to figure it out. ive been watching you for years and its always comforting to see that people i respect struggle w this too. big love to ya, man. ❤️
Oh wow I really love what you're doing and what you're all about. I really needed this. Timing couldn't have been better!
I love your work! When our little girl finally goes down, my wife and I will watch one of these to wind down 😀 keep up the good work, we love your enlightening dialogue!
I seriously found this so helpful in my life. It clicked. This has been a good week. 🙏🏻
Probably the best advice/criticism I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing your struggle.
I can't stress enough how much I needed a video like this especially from someone I look up to. One of my biggest fear is stagnation and forgetting to draw so I kept drawing even when I absolutely hated it. breaks are important, to be in the moment is important. sometimes it's just better to strive for fine.
This video connected with me on a very deep level! I always enjoy your videos, but this one made me feel a little better. Thank you. It’s nice to know I am not the only one who goes through this stuff. 😊
I love this, I felt like you touched on a lot of poignant points and I really needed to hear it today and I may just replay this video in the future when I'm letting my perfectionism hold me back or making myself and others miserable.
I literally just diagnosed with a serious health issue and need that app. Thank you so much!!!
I am so glad you uploaded this today. Thank you. Strive for fine.
Thank you for making this!
“The most important thing is just enjoying myself”. Yes!! I agree
A perfect closing: "Strive for fine." Loved it!!! Great vid.
This one hit home for me man. Well done.
You provided some of the best advice that anyone who struggles with perfectionism needs AND graces us with a beautiful shot of a glorious pie?!?! Thank you.
'so what's the cure?' perfectionism is nearly always a symptom of a lack of self compassion; as cheesy as it sounds, learning to be kinder to yourself and learning to accept yourself and your flaws is the cure. therapy can definitely help if perfectionism is an all-pervading problem
This video came in perfect timing Craig, I just finished my first fourty hours of nursing placement and I'm beating myself up over the criticisms and small failures from the week. The advice I recieved was to be kinder to myself, know that no one expects much from me at all and that all they want is for me to get through without hurting anyone. but I want to amaze them with how awesome I am! I have been focusing on all the critiques and silly mistakes and it's destroying me. So today I decided to run an exercise of everything good that happened in my week instead of focusing on all the times I wasn't perfect, and it's helped me a lot. It seems obvious but to find someone to say it out loud to helped me.
PS. Don't even mention all the negatives that spring to mind when listing the positives either
Dude i need this! Thanks for making & sharing it 👍
Well, geeze, now I want pie.
Thanks for this, Craig! I've struggled with writer's block for much of my life, but I have begun to realize that it may just be perfectionism, especially since I, like you, love proofreading and editing. Here to striving for "fine" in 2020!
This video hits very close to me. I have suffered through perfectionism all my life and it sucks. On a side note, love your voice and your way of speaking overall. You are pleasant to listen to and funny.
Edit: it took me 5 minutes to write this "perfect" comment. 🤫
This video slapped me around for 11 minutes. Thank you, I needed that.
No video has ever perfectly explained my daily inner turmoil as a chronic perfectionist until this one. Looks like you got something perfect!
Great ending Craig! Love your artsy approach :)
Loved this! Working on "fine" here too. In my household we use the terms "good enough" and focus on Okay-i-fying everything that happens.
Thank you for mentioning the abridged app. I have an important doctor visit coming up and I think its going to help me. Also, not even just remembering what to do after the visit… Ive had doctors say some rather irreverant, ignorant things that should have been recorded for future conversations. People should always record what their doctor says to hold them accountable for their decision making and bedside manners. Also for loved ones in nursing homes receiving doctor or nurse visits if someone else who loves and cares for the patient isn’t present to join the conversation would be incredibly helpful.
I appreciate this a lot! Thank you for shedding light on your experience and helping me realize things about myself that I need to let go, being the perfectionist that I am. I’ve wondered why I can’t seem to be very productive, or that’s how it’s felt, and watching your videos related to this has helped me realize my perfectionism, and how it relates to my negative self talk etc.
Thank you!(: I appreciate you!
As a person with OCPD I feel this so much! Thank you for making this video.
Dude that was perfect!! Enjoy your day!!
I’ve never felt more seen. Wheezy pretty much described a day in my life. Especially, “I feel like my time is always filled up, no matter how much time there is.”
I really needed this video. Thank you for making it ❤.
This is incredible advice. This is so well articulated compared to all those self help books and articles on medium. Thank you Craig.
Craig, you're great! I love the videos! Keep it up! We all need these little nuggets of wisdom that a lot of people just won't say, for some reason.
Strive for fine really will save your life... or at least your sanity. I got married at 19, we had a baby the following January, and since we were both so young, my wife and I also had to contend with getting through college. I was always brought up to do the best that you possibly could at something... but sometimes... why? Sometimes just getting something done "fine" has it's purpose. I understand wanting to be proud of the things you do, but as an adult who had priorities that made being really good at school seem trivial once high school ended, allowing myself to drop some of my "give-a-shit" about school and redirect it to my new and growing family really made my life better. After 16 years, without ever skipping a full year, I finally graduated from college. And only in my final year, did I ever hear put into words the mantra I had been living, from another classmate... "Cs get degrees." It's that simple. Why strive to be an expert in everything? It's exhausting. I didn't care about accounting, but I had to take it... a C was fine... I'm not a scientist, a C in Biology or Chemistry is fine... Get through the things you need to, to the best ability you can that doesn't leave you a mess of a human being that no on wants to interact with. Yeah, I ended that sentence with a preposition... You English majors need to relax a little. I do get Your and You're correct, along with the usages of Their, There, and They're... I'm not a perfectionist, but I do still try to get things mostly right and take pride in my work... even if it's just a "dumb" RUclips comment. :) Strive for As and being great in the things that you love... Let the rest be a C. No one looks at your transcript once you're out of school, but they will recognize if you're perfectionistic, self-absorbed blow-hard... Just saying. (I don't think English majors are blow-hards, this argument just happened to fall after I talked about English majors. ;) In fact, now that I think about it... maybe strive for an A in English... not enough of us grasp how English works. Twitter and RUclips comments tend to infuriate me, and that wasn't even my major!) Anyway...
Sub since 07' favorite vid right here. Exactly what I needed to hear, once again.
Thanks wheeeeeeze!
I feel this on a spritual level craig. Thanks for this video!
I hope you hit one million soon wheezy, you deserve it!
God, this is sooooooo relatable. I struggle daily just doing things because I want ALL THE THINGS I DO to be SO good ALL the time. Journaling - or writing my stream of consciousness/anxieties - has been pretty helpful with this. I still have a LONG way to go, but every time I get the courage to do something regardless of how good I think it will be is a step forward. Thanks for this thoughtful video