Dean Takahashi, the "journalist" playing the tutorial, wrote a scathing review of the first Mass Effect because he didn't understand how to level up or how cooling worked, and he's a primary suspect in why Bioware gutted RPG/Cooling mechanics in Mass Effect 2.
It’s weird because he’s an _business_ journalist who’s business focus is games. As in like, what games companies are investing in and stuff, the boring nuts and bolts ‘suits’ side of things, and he’s apparently pretty good at that. The equivalent of being a sports journalist who knows which club is signing who but can’t run across a field. This guy wrote a couple reviews, sure, but that’s not his wheelhouse and he probably got a mandate to do so - I know this footage was only cuz he was the only one there and he actively didn’t want it made public. That _is_ the realm of your more enthusiast types. All the youtube talking heads people watch would’ve been working at a magazine outlet/website 10 years ago.
The comparison is not fair: - The pigeon didn't have instructions. - The pigeon had to move the platform into place. - The pigeon is unable to jump dash. - The pigeon hasn't spent the last decade as a food puzzle journalist. - The pigeon has limited visual perspective. - The pigeon is a pigeon.
MC Dimension both had a similar amount of problems. A block and something out of reach. The only difference is a dash and the ability to move the block. So when a pigeon can figure out his ability before a person, there is a problem.
Axzolon the pigeon was given no instructions, just basic problem solving and figured out before a human being despite having it laid out for him. So very disappointing yet intriguing
It also has to work within a three dimensional space and can only see the things surrounding itself from its perspective inside that little room. The pigeon actually has it way harder all things considered. What does that say about the human being competing against it?
Benoit Piquet And what is the difference with bullying exactly? That would be the same as bullying someone for the same of looking like a stereotypical nerd, because they aren’t hot/beautiful. Your excuse is no diffrence from the reason people are bullied
I understand what you mean but he took almost a minutes a half to do something he was literally told to do and even a 5 years old could do under 20 seconds. So if he wants to call himself a video game journalist the least he could do is not act as if pushing 2 buttons in succesion is hard.
It's a good joke but I have actually seen reviewers give games a bad score to games because they couldn't complete the intro/tutorial/prologue. Rock, Paper, Shotgun gave a shitty review to Lisa The Painful because the reviewer kept jumping off cliffs to their deashes and couldn't figure out how to save the game then proceeds to go into a rage over having to start the game over.
Not just platformers. He couldn't play Mass Effect (an RPG) because he wasn't levelling up his characters and gave it a horrible review. He was just trying to play it like an FPS.
Worse, he reviewed it poorly because he didn't even think to spend any skill points during his entire playthrough. What an embarrassment of a journalist.
I know how the mode should look like. Its a straight line you just go from point A to B nothing to shot or jump over, and in boss battles the boss is there doing nothing and it die in one hit.
It's not possible though. I'm quite sure that Game Journalists will mess up when there are no enemies and no obstacles and all they have to do is make them walk in the right direction. They'll fuck it up I know it
4 years later and this still amazes me. You can look at the pigeons actions and be able to put coherent thoughts to it: “So there’s this thing that I have to get to but I can’t reach it… oh wait there’s this block and it makes me taller… maybe if I try jumping? No that doesn’t work. Oh perhaps I can move this block a little closer. That’s better but still not quite there. I just need to move it a little closer and… there!” Dean: “okay so if I jump right next to it then maybe I can get high enough. No that didn’t work. Well I’ll just keep trying the same thing over and over again and hope it eventually works out… Oh wait a minute I can dash in mid air. I try doing that but not jumping… maybe I can jump off this block? No I’m not able to reach it.” A minute passes. “Oh maybe I can put those two things together.” Fails a few times and finally completes it.
Not at all in defense of Dean, but in a similarly bird related case, sometimes having preconceptions actually hinders you. (As demonstrated by crows outperforming humans in certain tests.) I'm not a good gamer, and part of that is because I jump to conclusions and perservere when something clearly isn't working because I mistake it for a skill issue instead of a technique issue. Having "dash" up on the wall could cause me to narrow into only that part of the instruction and fail to consider the larger context. (Not a problem with game design, just an explanation of what could actually be going on in the brain.) The sheer amount of time that he's stuck is less forgivable, but if he was truly as fatigued as he claims, ideally he should have remedied that before trying to judge the game. Edit: I watched more of Dean's gameplay, there's no excuse. 😂
0:46 Pigeon displays understanding of what is needed to complete the task and sets about trying to do it 1:11 Journalist displays understanding of what is needed to complete the task and sets about trying to do it Thinking 25 seconds slower than pigeons: games journalism. EDIT: actually, Dean manages a midair dash at 0:12, which SHOULD have been a sufficient demonstration of the principle to get him trying the obvious task. But then it takes him another full MINUTE to actually realize how to apply it and start trying to do so. That would be like if the pigeon realized the block was moveable and then simply didn’t move it for a whole minute. This is much worse than I thought.
A- Ha i think with a long enough time that pigeon could understand the functions of the symbols on the wall to the buttons. It would take human intervention but it is possible.
I feel like for someone to be a legitimate source of information and opinion on a topic, they should be able to understand the medium in the way most people enjoy it. This is like a sports commentator not knowing anything about what they're watching, or a model builder that doesn't understand the concept of paints or glue. Playing a game is the point of a game, otherwise it'd just be a movie. You can *technically* write about a game without playing it, but that's not going to be valid since you haven't *experienced* it the way it was intended.
"Should games journalists be good at games?" Yes because being a games journalist means playing a lot of games out of love, which means naturally becoming good at games.
"Should game journalists have certain reading comprehension and problem solving skills?" Fixed that for you. :3 Btw, just google his name and MassEffect 1... Can't even use skillpoints after tutorial and writes bad review. But at least in this case he apologized and rewrote the review after playing the game again.
BlueTornado50 Its like watching a handicap man fall out of his wheel chair.. and try to get back up, refusing help and crying at the same time.. yelling at everyone who offers help, telling them to fuck off he can "do it himself" and only after a solid 3 minutes of agony he finally gets onto his chair.. but backwards..
thats just the original soundtrack yeah it is perfectly fitting to the game as well as the comparison but dont be fooled into thinking this is edited in
I don’t know what’s funnier: the pigeon actually figuring the puzzle out faster than Dean can figure out how to jump onto a platform or the title of the video itself
karmapolice247 This just in: Man roasted alive after his motor skills and thought process are literally inferior to those of a fucking pigeon. Doctors say he has no chancw of recovery. More at 11 Bill
Why yes John, Wait what's that? BREAKING NEWS as we just got an update on the situation, the man we talked about not a minute ago has been fired from his job and replaced with a pigeon, he is also the man who simontaneously broke 2 stereotypes about asian people, how did this man survive without basic knowledge, more at 12, back to you John!
The joke is that they are trying to work a box. Also the joke may be old but people find ways to make the joke's life span longer because this is genius.
Aging is terrible. Old people talk about experience and wisdom but with the world changing so fast all that strikes me about older coworkers is how slow their brains are
@@SM-ok3szit most certainly can be depending on how the person has aged and if they have medical problems like carpal tunnel. Dean doesn't have any medical problems and is still working as a journalist despite his age, therefore has no excuse for being this stupid lol
The pigeon video starts later because they're comparing how long it took the pigeon to get the food to how long it took Dean to get past the cylinder part of the tutorial because that's the part he got stuck on
The best thing is that you can actually observe the slow progression of the pigeon's thoughts throughout its puzzle. Can't say the same for Dean, though...
This was legitimately difficult to watch. How an you be a game journalist if you can't even use a platforming method that's been around since the fucking dinosaurs? Are we sure it wasn't just the cat pushing the controller around or something?
AI would've learned much faster. It only takes 1 instance of trial and error for an AI to not do the same mistake again, because it's a computer. The learning process is perfect, so it does one mistake, and NEVER does it again. Can't say the same for Dean. He made same mistakes over and over and over again for 3 minutes.
And yet he was still able to beat it without leveling up. Maybe this guy should just stick to reviewing shooters, he can't be this bad at those if he was able to beat Mass Effect on a level one character...
Or like a Male Porn Star that doesn't have a dick. Seriously, I mean there's like... nothing there. Not even a micropenis. Because at least with a microdick, you can make niche stuff that involves humiliation/fascination.
"Haha one guy was somehow too stupid to get past a tutorial. This completely invalidates any bit of praise or criticism that has or ever will come from a professional critic. You know, unless that thing lines up with my own opinion of course"
Dean- Well there's an elitism thing growing and I shouldn't be judged Me- I expect a doctor to be able to do his job! I expect a plumber to be able to fix a toilet! Why shouldn't I expect a Game Reviewer to actually be good at games?
Well, to be “good” at games is like, the top surgeon in the world when most surgeons are as good as they need to be. This is more like… blind people dressing others for the morning.
Who would win A critical reviewer in the video game industry paid for the sole purpose of analytical thoughts and critiques on whether or not this interactive media is worth your time and money Or Some feathery fly boi?
People don't understand the fact that he isn't a game jurnalist, but a technology jurnalist that sometimed make game reviews, and didn't even get paid for this. You should inform yourself after criticizing someone insted of just using a 1 minute vídeo out of context as argument
DerBegginBlue game reviewers should have at least some skill in gaming enough to get past tutorials at least or the first part of the game and if they are terrible they take the mistake as it is and not blame the game and give it shitty reviews because of their inability to play. As well as trying to start a stupid trend like make games easier, claiming hard games or anything that rolls around and stabs stuff Dark souls. Or fucking petitioning FOR A FUCKING SKIP BOSS FIGHT OPTION
DerBegginBlue and having almost no skill and or quick thinking to play the game and then blaming the creator for it and not accepting your own fault. And of course you can review a car you have every right to review it and post it online and wherever you want since its your opinion. Also your statement on being able to judge cars because you have a license is waaaay out there since technically its also called on having an opinion. These are people who influence the thoughts of others and get paid for it if you fail at something (because on issues on your part) and then blame something then yes you deserve to lose credibility and likely your career
this isn't even about being good at games, it's about basic reading comprehension and critical thinking, both of which this man obviously lacks. it's hard to believe that there is an actual human doing this and not an A.I.
I have a five year old nephew that could have figured this out he can’t even read but he can at least understand how to do something like this he already plays stuff like Mario
I've never before seed such level of incompetence in any job. It's like having Top Gear being made by people who can't even start a car. Who hired this guy ?
That's like saying since I play a lot of Rpgs, anytime a game hands me a gun and says, "The screen is your eyes, now look and shoot," I have a pass for not understanding what's happening
The fact that the pigeon didn’t have any instructions and succeeded, yet Dean had a huge sign telling him what to do and finished the task after the pigeon…
@@Doctor_Straing_Strange It took a reply notification I got 2 years after writing that comment to realize I accidentally wrote 1000 instead of 100, lol.
Ive been a professional games journalist for nigh on 13 years..... and this has shocked me to the core.... I don't know how this guy puts trousers on in the morning, and quite frankly I'm annoyed that clowns like this are giving quality game journalists a bad reputation... btw does anyone have the pigeons agent contact info? Would love to work with them.
pfft! it's no fair to Dean, there were no food at the top of the block he would get when he figured it out, no wonder he didn't get it as fast as the pigeon
To me, the saddest part of his tutorial flub is that he kept running headlong into the cylinder. “Perhaps after beating my head against a steel wall 50 times my head will pass through.” I could practically hear his brain cells screaming in joy as they died from the embarrassment.
It is time for people to realize (and I think a lot have at this point) that game journalists are little more than propagandists, paid by game studios to push product.
You can't generalize like that man. You have a point but please be careful with these generalizations, it doesn't help anybody go engage in these kinds of tribal conflicts. Stick to the numerous examples you can actually point out
I have unironically sat back for several minutes laughing hysterically at this because it’s quite possibly one of the most ridiculously funny concepts I have ever seen
He did press the right buttons. It is just his timing is slow. And that is because HE IS OLD. Old people and timing do not mix together. They are SLOW at thinking.
@@kingol4801 i never said he didn't press the right buttons. i said that the bird understood what he needed to do way earlier than dean. and you could see the pigeon's thought process, and dean's didn't use basic understanding.
Robot 21321 he gave ME 1 a bad score because he was too incompetent too play the game. examples: He didn't spend any ability points AT ALL because he didn't know how. He believed that when the orange targeting triangles appear on random enemies they can't be damaged by any weapon unless you hit them at the centre of the triangle... You may now commence with your epic facepalm
the sad thing is that that is the only other time anyone references. that means in 20 years of doing this he made one mistake and had his co workers post a gag video showing had bad he is at platformers... my god this man fucked up once in 20 years fire him.
Zachary Jones dude not everyone is good at every game. hand me an xbone controller to play cod and you would think i have never played an fps, give me a kbm for overwatch back when i gave a shit and i was pretty good.
This is not bad gameplay. This is not even HORRIBLE gameplay. Its Non-functional gameplay. There is an inherent flaw in the player's critical thinking that has made playing any game an impossible chore.
> become a living human being > grow up, go to school, learn > get a job, learn some more > get a job as a professional game analyzer > do that for 20 years > lose to a fucking pigeon in a video game
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
i'm pretty sure this footage literally changed how people look at game journalists forever, thank you dean
Dean Takahashi, the "journalist" playing the tutorial, wrote a scathing review of the first Mass Effect because he didn't understand how to level up or how cooling worked, and he's a primary suspect in why Bioware gutted RPG/Cooling mechanics in Mass Effect 2.
@@LevantineR1Then we should thank him because as much as I love mass effect and RPG games, mass effect was terrible at being one
@@LevantineR1 om
@@Linkale_ Darn, what a bad take about such a great franchise!
It’s weird because he’s an _business_ journalist who’s business focus is games. As in like, what games companies are investing in and stuff, the boring nuts and bolts ‘suits’ side of things, and he’s apparently pretty good at that. The equivalent of being a sports journalist who knows which club is signing who but can’t run across a field.
This guy wrote a couple reviews, sure, but that’s not his wheelhouse and he probably got a mandate to do so - I know this footage was only cuz he was the only one there and he actively didn’t want it made public. That _is_ the realm of your more enthusiast types. All the youtube talking heads people watch would’ve been working at a magazine outlet/website 10 years ago.
The worst thing is that the pidgeon didn't have the instructions written on the wall
tomas lozada Birds can't read xD
Nameless this one could
Nameless even if he can't read, he had no instrucions.
Nameless looks like Dean can't read too
tomas lozada LMFAO
The comparison is not fair:
- The pigeon didn't have instructions.
- The pigeon had to move the platform into place.
- The pigeon is unable to jump dash.
- The pigeon hasn't spent the last decade as a food puzzle journalist.
- The pigeon has limited visual perspective.
- The pigeon is a pigeon.
SohJinh lmaoo
"food puzzle journalist"
Dean's handicap: being an SJW.
pigeon is in 3 dimensions.
For two decades I believe.. Just for comparison's sake..
I'd call you bird-brained, but that would be an insult to birds everywhere
For him it'd be a compliment.
Sounds like something spy would say.
@@aaron4921 yes
Double roast
hello, brother
The worst bit is that the pigeon actually had to figure out to move the block alongside reaching the higher objective.
Who will win?
Games journalist who uses a block
Or
A pigeon that has to move a block to even use it
MC Dimension both had a similar amount of problems. A block and something out of reach. The only difference is a dash and the ability to move the block. So when a pigeon can figure out his ability before a person, there is a problem.
It's just embarassing on so many levels...truly shamefur dispray
Axzolon the pigeon was given no instructions, just basic problem solving and figured out before a human being despite having it laid out for him. So very disappointing yet intriguing
Neo Machine HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAVABABVABABAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
The Pigeon learned something that day, can't say the same for dean,
MeleeMaster MAA I love how you capitalized the word pigeon, but not Dean's name.
MeleeMaster MAA
Sick burn
D. E. Bodiford
Glad you noticed lmao
you are wrong, dean managed to learn how to press 2 buttons in succession .
Im Lonley
And you have a low iq for spelling Pigeon wrong.
It's not fair, the pigeon doesn't have instructions written all over the place.
The pigeon also had to go and move the box into place first!
Good fucking bye my sides.
It also has to work within a three dimensional space and can only see the things surrounding itself from its perspective inside that little room.
The pigeon actually has it way harder all things considered.
What does that say about the human being competing against it?
Scrub Wave Pigeon still beat it faster than the human.
Don't call game journalists "human".
*20 years of experience*
More like 5 seconds
Something tells me they weren't human years, or he's even more terrible than DSP and should start a youtube channel as the new standard of failure.
Igaming MP1 in other kind of games
More like three minutes.
Will this video convince the retards that take game journalists seriously to STOP taking game journalists seriously?
It just gets sadder the more times I see this footage.
Taylor Breckenridge We should give that pigeon a keyboard. The output would be more intelligent than these game journalists.
It gets sadder because its Internet Bullying
There is internet bullying and there is someone figuratively giving people spiked boots while waving a "kick me in the nuts" sign
Benoit Piquet And what is the difference with bullying exactly? That would be the same as bullying someone for the same of looking like a stereotypical nerd, because they aren’t hot/beautiful. Your excuse is no diffrence from the reason people are bullied
I understand what you mean but he took almost a minutes a half to do something he was literally told to do and even a 5 years old could do under 20 seconds. So if he wants to call himself a video game journalist the least he could do is not act as if pushing 2 buttons in succesion is hard.
In hell, you're forced to seat with Dean and watch him play that Jump Dash part forever.
[POLYBLUES] *NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!*
In 100% seriousness, forever? That is one of the worst punishments ever. and right when he's about to dash over it... the video replays.
To make it worse there is a pistol right in front of you but its only 5 cm out of your reach. (you cant leave the couch you are sitting on)
Palps did nothin wrong Hello there, Satan. Joining the discussion yourself Now? XD
Palps did nothin wrong and then you finally grab it but realize it's a blank gun.
I hereby move to replace the insult "birdbrain" with "gamejournobrain."
I second this motion.
LunaticThinker I third this notion and I will soon come back to fourth this notion with my second account.
Mr. Symbiote. I fourth this notion.
I FIFTH THIS NOTION!
What a fucking gamejourno.
Should book reviewers be able to read?
Henry Denison should a novel writer know how to make limericks?
Henry Denison Should a poem writer know what a rhyme is?
Should an athlete be active?
Should a Music reviewer be able to hear?
Henry Denison Yes.
"Cant get bad reviews if game journalist can't get past the tutorial"
LOL, the master plan unfolds!
Studio MDHR knew what they were doing with this one.
The dominoes begin to fall...
I know its a joke but its sad that atm games get bad reviews *because* game journalists can't get past the tutorial
It's a good joke but I have actually seen reviewers give games a bad score to games because they couldn't complete the intro/tutorial/prologue. Rock, Paper, Shotgun gave a shitty review to Lisa The Painful because the reviewer kept jumping off cliffs to their deashes and couldn't figure out how to save the game then proceeds to go into a rage over having to start the game over.
He only got it because the pidgeon after doing his test went over, took the controller, and completed it for him.
When calling someone a birdbrain is actually insulting the bird.
You need to be top-comment, my dude.
@@nickthepick8043 I’ll help
😂
I'll help@@nickthepick8043
Are video game journalists dumber than pigeons? The answer will not surprise you.
Not just platformers. He couldn't play Mass Effect (an RPG) because he wasn't levelling up his characters and gave it a horrible review. He was just trying to play it like an FPS.
He's been a reviewer at least 10 years. He reviewed Mass Effect , poorly. So there's no excuse.
Worse, he reviewed it poorly because he didn't even think to spend any skill points during his entire playthrough. What an embarrassment of a journalist.
Didnt he also say that during combat, boxes (triangles really)would appear on enemies that made it so you could only hurt them there?
Bruh, Dean has been a game jounalist for 21 years XD
What side of the screen is the pigeon?
Hmmmm... That depends on your definition. Pigeon brain or actual pigeon?
maquibut i think its on the left
Left
On all levels except physical, left.
this is the best comment chain I've ever seen
I hope the makers of Cuphead introduce "Game Journalist" as a new difficulty level that's simpler than "Easy".
And put "Pigeon" in between.
"Pigeon" should be the hardest mode, imo.
No enemies, pitfalls are covered, stairs and bridge over obstacles?
I know how the mode should look like. Its a straight line you just go from point A to B nothing to shot or jump over, and in boss battles the boss is there doing nothing and it die in one hit.
It's not possible though. I'm quite sure that Game Journalists will mess up when there are no enemies and no obstacles and all they have to do is make them walk in the right direction. They'll fuck it up I know it
The fact that the soundtrack ended before he even figured out how to do it is just even more pathetic.
I believe it stops and restarts three times in the full video.
@@Doctor_Straing_Strange
Even worse.
@@Doctor_Straing_Strange oh god no say it ain’t so
@@mobbcentral4675i will not go
4 years later and this still amazes me. You can look at the pigeons actions and be able to put coherent thoughts to it: “So there’s this thing that I have to get to but I can’t reach it… oh wait there’s this block and it makes me taller… maybe if I try jumping? No that doesn’t work. Oh perhaps I can move this block a little closer. That’s better but still not quite there. I just need to move it a little closer and… there!”
Dean: “okay so if I jump right next to it then maybe I can get high enough. No that didn’t work. Well I’ll just keep trying the same thing over and over again and hope it eventually works out… Oh wait a minute I can dash in mid air. I try doing that but not jumping… maybe I can jump off this block? No I’m not able to reach it.” A minute passes. “Oh maybe I can put those two things together.” Fails a few times and finally completes it.
You can watch the moment the pigeon figured out how to reach the food meanwhile Dean keeps trying for the 12th time the same jump that doesn't work
@@bigdoggo5827 You can pinpoint the EXACT moment when the pigeon becomes Heisenberg.
Bravo viince!!@@vrabo3026
Not at all in defense of Dean, but in a similarly bird related case, sometimes having preconceptions actually hinders you. (As demonstrated by crows outperforming humans in certain tests.)
I'm not a good gamer, and part of that is because I jump to conclusions and perservere when something clearly isn't working because I mistake it for a skill issue instead of a technique issue. Having "dash" up on the wall could cause me to narrow into only that part of the instruction and fail to consider the larger context. (Not a problem with game design, just an explanation of what could actually be going on in the brain.)
The sheer amount of time that he's stuck is less forgivable, but if he was truly as fatigued as he claims, ideally he should have remedied that before trying to judge the game.
Edit: I watched more of Dean's gameplay, there's no excuse. 😂
0:58 I like how he slips at the same time the dash sound plays in the game. Oddly satisfying.
I was gonna say this, but you beat me to it.
I found the way the whole audio syncs with the video very satisfying, and I didn't have to edit one bit of it!
Falco was simply learning to wavedash
Not only that, but right after the pigeon solves its puzzle and the video fades to black, the music makes kind of a break.
FAST BIRB
The dark souls of birds
+
This made my day
Kevin Hanson ,I was about to comment the same thing, coincidence I THINK SO!
NeoMT The souls bird of dark.
Yeah you make fun of the bird now, but little do you guys know that this bird is actually the final boss of Dark Souls 4
"The Dark Souls of tutorials."
Looks like this guy has the dark souls of arthritis
metalliclark86 your comment is insanely underrated lmao
That title should be for Driver
Holy shit lmao
And the pigeon is just looking at him like
WEEKNESS DISCUSS ME
0:46 Pigeon displays understanding of what is needed to complete the task and sets about trying to do it
1:11 Journalist displays understanding of what is needed to complete the task and sets about trying to do it
Thinking 25 seconds slower than pigeons: games journalism.
EDIT: actually, Dean manages a midair dash at 0:12, which SHOULD have been a sufficient demonstration of the principle to get him trying the obvious task. But then it takes him another full MINUTE to actually realize how to apply it and start trying to do so. That would be like if the pigeon realized the block was moveable and then simply didn’t move it for a whole minute. This is much worse than I thought.
Plus the pigeon clip starts a bit later in the video. Like 2 seconds later.
And it's clip been slowed down a bit.
PLUS the pigeon doesn’t have instructions
A- Ha i think with a long enough time that pigeon could understand the functions of the symbols on the wall to the buttons.
It would take human intervention but it is possible.
@@FormerGovernmentHuman i think pigeons are a little too dumb for that but crows may be able to do it
And it say in the text you can dash mid air making even worse
0:59 The synced skid was unexpected.
and pump
Plot twist, Dean deceived us all. He was waiting for the music to end to show off an epic ending with the first obstacle
"Should games journalists be good at games?"
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I feel like for someone to be a legitimate source of information and opinion on a topic, they should be able to understand the medium in the way most people enjoy it. This is like a sports commentator not knowing anything about what they're watching, or a model builder that doesn't understand the concept of paints or glue. Playing a game is the point of a game, otherwise it'd just be a movie. You can *technically* write about a game without playing it, but that's not going to be valid since you haven't *experienced* it the way it was intended.
Remember that time a kotaku writer reviewer a horror game by watching lets plays, and how the reviewers own boyfriend said "you can't do that."
"Should games journalists be good at games?"
Yes because being a games journalist means playing a lot of games out of love, which means naturally becoming good at games.
"Should game journalists have certain reading comprehension and problem solving skills?"
Fixed that for you. :3
Btw, just google his name and MassEffect 1... Can't even use skillpoints after tutorial and writes bad review. But at least in this case he apologized and rewrote the review after playing the game again.
what a fucking muppet
This is honestly sad to watch
BlueTornado50 Its like watching a handicap man fall out of his wheel chair.. and try to get back up, refusing help and crying at the same time.. yelling at everyone who offers help, telling them to fuck off he can "do it himself" and only after a solid 3 minutes of agony he finally gets onto his chair.. but backwards..
Froztarlozt LOL
Na it's pretty funny, plus now we have proof that humanity is not as smart as they say
Thanks, -Sinichi- Conan.
BlueTornado50 then why did you watch it.
I can't believe this was 7 years ago.
it feels like it was 4 years ago 😭
Right? I was 23 when cuphead came out. Jesus
Like that time when Lisa compared Bart's intelligence to the intelligence of a hamster, and the hamster won.
At least bart is a kid
@@GDNachoo also a fantasy figure.
@@ZacklFair this comment is like a year old I don't even remember saying it
@@GDNachoo it s 3 ears old now
@@ozgurruh2535 bruh i'm getting old
I cried a little
I creh everah tiame
Shut yo sensitive ass up
Nevermind i cried
I cried alot
I died a little
The music is *PERFECT* .
EarFarce4 the music is adorable since the pigeon is cute
thats just the original soundtrack
yeah it is perfectly fitting to the game as well as the comparison but dont be fooled into thinking this is edited in
EarFarce4 that's the cuphead tutorial music ma dude
The music is from the deans review video
Apaczx no it's from the games tutorial
T W E N T Y F I V E Y E A R S
Johnny Martinez big sad
@@2910687 yes big sad
@@2910687 BIG BRAINNNNN
AND THIS BIRB DID BETTER IN CAVE
WITH TINY BOX
I don’t know what’s funnier: the pigeon actually figuring the puzzle out faster than Dean can figure out how to jump onto a platform or the title of the video itself
Is it more hilarious that Dean got a head start and still lost? Or that he lost to a fucking BIRB
Both
Boffem
That's a cute birb.
I saw your comment, scrolled up, then scrolled down again to like it cos it's tru
Is that a black vault boy
thatwaseasy It's a smar birb
That playthrough was such a tragedy, that ISIS claimed responsibility for it.
karmapolice247 fucking hell, somebody call the fire department
karmapolice247 This just in: Man roasted alive after his motor skills and thought process are literally inferior to those of a fucking pigeon. Doctors say he has no chancw of recovery. More at 11 Bill
Why yes John,
Wait what's that?
BREAKING NEWS as we just got an update on the situation, the man we talked about not a minute ago has been fired from his job and replaced with a pigeon, he is also the man who simontaneously broke 2 stereotypes about asian people, how did this man survive without basic knowledge, more at 12, back to you John!
Thank you Bill, and on our next block, Dark Souls: A game, a genre, or a word for games for not-stupid people? That and more at 12.
karmapolice247 best and darkest joke!
OK, you're being unreasonable.
That pigeon had a late start! How was that fair?!
TenseFrenchToast
The joke ---------->♦
Your head --> 0
But the pigeon's test and Dean's test started at the same time...
The joke is that they are trying to work a box. Also the joke may be old but people find ways to make the joke's life span longer because this is genius.
Still finished it 1st (with no instructions as well)
The pigeon had to be given a handicap.
I just learned that Dean was 54 when he played the Cuphead demo. I was imagining someone much younger.
Yeah I wonder what the dude’s hand dexterity was like at the time and if he needed glasses (and wasn’t wearing them)
I don't want to sound mean but like. Surely there are other tasks he can work on that aren't playing a game known to be challenging?..
Aging is terrible. Old people talk about experience and wisdom but with the world changing so fast all that strikes me about older coworkers is how slow their brains are
54 is not too old to press a button twice, wtf.
@@SM-ok3szit most certainly can be depending on how the person has aged and if they have medical problems like carpal tunnel. Dean doesn't have any medical problems and is still working as a journalist despite his age, therefore has no excuse for being this stupid lol
When you lied in your resume but still got a job.
Game Difficulty: Dean Takahashi-Easiest-Very Easy-Easy-Normal-Hard-Very Hard-Hardest-Pigeon
Pigeon = Immortal Difficulty
Dean Takahashi is just a win screen.
And pidgeon is just a lose screen, because no one but pidgeon is worthy of playing it.
Ganondorf The Dark Lord you mean, the end credit scene? 😂
What's amazing about this is that the video still gives Dean the advantage; the pigeon clip starts late and it's also at a much lower framerate.
AnteroX1234 the framerate doesn't affect the length of the pigeon's video in this case, but yes, Dean did have the advantage of starting earlier haha.
The pigeon video starts later because they're comparing how long it took the pigeon to get the food to how long it took Dean to get past the cylinder part of the tutorial because that's the part he got stuck on
why would framerate matter tho
Pandadox makes it easier for the guy controlling the pidgeon to time his block movements.
And the pigeon has to actually move the box as well, rather than just stand on it.
A crow would have solved it in 15 seconds. Both the pigeon puzzle and Cuphead tutorial.
InvertedWIng Yo crows are smart animals though
i am wood Yeah but they're still fucking animals!
crow>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>......>>> verry smartt game jornalist
HaloCrafter4
Fucking animal > Game journalist
Crows are chads
The best thing is that you can actually observe the slow progression of the pigeon's thoughts throughout its puzzle.
Can't say the same for Dean, though...
He did press the right buttons. But not with the right timing, because he is old and slow
I'm thoroughly convinced that dean can't read. The solution should've been obvious by the clearly written instructions.
We've come quite far as a species...
We de-evolved so much as a species. I wonder what the next generation holds.
Crimson Myth sadly it seems its already time for our demise
I think we are *DE* volving if that's a thing
Us pigeons yeah.
The fact that you are good at games don't mean that you are smarter, it just mean that you have a lot of free time
How did this man survive so far in his life with non-existent visual analytical skills, basic problem solving, and utter LACK of common sense ?
He probably grew up with rich parents.
Because it's current year.
Because he is a games journalist
Because humans don't make sense in a retarded sense.
He might have been filling a diversity quota.
This was legitimately difficult to watch. How an you be a game journalist if you can't even use a platforming method that's been around since the fucking dinosaurs? Are we sure it wasn't just the cat pushing the controller around or something?
The pigeon took the controller from dean at the end, it was getting annoyed at how long he was taking.
TBH it seemed like an AI that learned from trial and error not a functional human being
actually he was bad at the game that he lost all use of his motor controls and this was his resulting spaz is his 26 minutes right?
AI would've learned much faster. It only takes 1 instance of trial and error for an AI to not do the same mistake again, because it's a computer. The learning process is perfect, so it does one mistake, and NEVER does it again.
Can't say the same for Dean. He made same mistakes over and over and over again for 3 minutes.
No, cats are smarter.
I can only Imagine how long this would have taken if Dean had no instructions.
The worst thing is Dean is getting Payed a cupple 100$ for his "work". The Pigeon gets a Snack.
isn't that the guy who complained that mass effect was too hard because he didn't realize he could level up the characters?
And yet he was still able to beat it without leveling up. Maybe this guy should just stick to reviewing shooters, he can't be this bad at those if he was able to beat Mass Effect on a level one character...
Sines314 He was actually succeeded on beating the game because Mass Effect isn't a game that requires more than 2 inputs per second.
@@voltekka47especially on easy which I assume he played on, really you gotta want to die at that point.
Never trust video game """journalists""". It's like deaf people reviewing music
AlVash2 or blind people reviewing movies, or people with an iq of 0.1 being a scientist
Or like a Male Porn Star that doesn't have a dick. Seriously, I mean there's like... nothing there. Not even a micropenis. Because at least with a microdick, you can make niche stuff that involves humiliation/fascination.
"Haha one guy was somehow too stupid to get past a tutorial. This completely invalidates any bit of praise or criticism that has or ever will come from a professional critic. You know, unless that thing lines up with my own opinion of course"
Not a fair comparison. You can still listen to music if you're deaf since it's vibrations.
Jonathan Morales you still don't specifically hear the music
Hatoful game journalist.
underrated comment
I get it
Wow, nice
That game
Was somehow fun
Hatoful boyfriend game? Wtf this game have no sense xD
Dean- Well there's an elitism thing growing and I shouldn't be judged
Me- I expect a doctor to be able to do his job! I expect a plumber to be able to fix a toilet! Why shouldn't I expect a Game Reviewer to actually be good at games?
Well, to be “good” at games is like, the top surgeon in the world when most surgeons are as good as they need to be.
This is more like… blind people dressing others for the morning.
cmon tho that pigeon cheated he moved the block instead of doing the jump dash
No one told him about the jump dash. He sorta did it at one point, but probably didn't notice.
Who would win
A critical reviewer in the video game industry paid for the sole purpose of analytical thoughts and critiques on whether or not this interactive media is worth your time and money
Or
Some feathery fly boi?
Jordan Lochhead a feathery fly boi is too advanced for the game reviewer.
Jordan Lochhead bird claws
I love this meme format, thanks
*Breath in* boi
People don't understand the fact that he isn't a game jurnalist, but a technology jurnalist that sometimed make game reviews, and didn't even get paid for this.
You should inform yourself after criticizing someone insted of just using a 1 minute vídeo out of context as argument
Difficulty Levels
-"I am Death Incarnate"
-"Bring 'Em On!"
-"Don't Hurt Me"
-"Can I Play Daddy?"
-Game Journo
You forgot "Pigeon" on the very top of the list.
The Biggest Loser no,no,no, the hardest is the pidgeon dificulty.
Prepare to Dash edition
Pigeon dashes in sync with Dean at 0:58.
we still clowning on him years later
Just what I expected form most gaming journalists
Ah, no reason, if you've never payed attention in the last 5+ years sure it looks all fine and dandy...
After seeing Polygon's DOOM gameplay, nothing surprises me anymore. These clowns are the fucking worst.
DerBegginBlue game reviewers should have at least some skill in gaming enough to get past tutorials at least or the first part of the game and if they are terrible they take the mistake as it is and not blame the game and give it shitty reviews because of their inability to play. As well as trying to start a stupid trend like make games easier, claiming hard games or anything that rolls around and stabs stuff Dark souls. Or fucking petitioning FOR A FUCKING SKIP BOSS FIGHT OPTION
DerBegginBlue and having almost no skill and or quick thinking to play the game and then blaming the creator for it and not accepting your own fault. And of course you can review a car you have every right to review it and post it online and wherever you want since its your opinion. Also your statement on being able to judge cars because you have a license is waaaay out there since technically its also called on having an opinion. These are people who influence the thoughts of others and get paid for it if you fail at something (because on issues on your part) and then blame something then yes you deserve to lose credibility and likely your career
DerBegginBlue also journalist and reviewer are almost the same thing in terms of videogames
this is depressing
As sad and depressing this video is, the pigeon is adorable moving that box >D
this isn't even about being good at games, it's about basic reading comprehension and critical thinking, both of which this man obviously lacks. it's hard to believe that there is an actual human doing this and not an A.I.
Buddy, an AI would've figured it out way faster than him
I have a five year old nephew that could have figured this out he can’t even read but he can at least understand how to do something like this he already plays stuff like Mario
This pigeon solved a puzzle with no instructions 20 seconds faster than a man who can’t read a tutorial
can i read the pigeons game reviews somewhere?
You can see a documentary about his ancestor, it's called Valiant (2005).
No, but I think there is a dog that does game reviews.
queenulhu this game is "coo"
OperationFatGuy your dad joke and profile pic is too perfect.
yeah, sure. Ne opened his youtube channel BlackPigeonSpeaks. His topics are more complex than video games, though
I bet that pigeon could make a better game review
give a pigeon a block, and it will solve puzzles. give it a Macbook Pro, and it will write Game Critics.
I've never before seed such level of incompetence in any job. It's like having Top Gear being made by people who can't even start a car. Who hired this guy ?
*seen
*see'd
This isn't the kind of game he reviews, he was playing it for fun. He does strategy games and things like that
Yeah, it's like asking top gear to make a fucking plane
That's like saying since I play a lot of Rpgs, anytime a game hands me a gun and says, "The screen is your eyes, now look and shoot," I have a pass for not understanding what's happening
This is the most savage thing I’ve seen regarding this game.
Why do we let these people rate games again?
Because logic.
they are easy to fool with money, corporate loved them
The same reason only certain people work for roto-rooter.
The low standards of gaming journalism.
>People
Don't insult that pigeon !
So rude.
But which one is the pigeon?
Yekta Köktürk the one that doesnt have a cognitive malfunction
A so the one called Dean? ok, understood.
megagutsman no the other one
its physically painful to watch this
Mentally and spiritually too.
A weapon to surpass metal gear...
Jesus Crist its Jason borne
Pigeon-guided missile?
he's back at it again, boys.
Search for his new doom eternal """"gameplay"""".
Please lord no
Say it ain’t so
The fact that the pigeon didn’t have any instructions and succeeded, yet Dean had a huge sign telling him what to do and finished the task after the pigeon…
what. the. fuck. dude lol
The way the music finished (before the loop) as the pigeon ate the chip? made it seem like there would be some sort of "The End" screen afterwards.
we haven't evolved
Lord fartamor In fact, we have devolved.
MaddoxTheMinecraftian We don't have ape-like ancestors, we still are our ape-like ancestors.
Humanity has, but some sapiens simply haven't evolved. They've become journalists.
Some of us have, but not Dean Takahashi.
We are getting smarter
William Taylor Holy shit a crow
Rise of the planet of Birbs
1917: “Imagine how much humanity will have accomplished over the next 100 years.”
2017:
1917: "We will have smart robots."
2017:
Pinguino del Rio I know that this comment is really old but 1917-2017 isn’t 1000 years, it’s 100.
YourAverageCommenter , can i hire u as a math tutor?
Ah yes, my grandpa is one THOUSAND years old
@@Doctor_Straing_Strange
It took a reply notification I got 2 years after writing that comment to realize I accidentally wrote 1000 instead of 100, lol.
Ive been a professional games journalist for nigh on 13 years..... and this has shocked me to the core.... I don't know how this guy puts trousers on in the morning, and quite frankly I'm annoyed that clowns like this are giving quality game journalists a bad reputation... btw does anyone have the pigeons agent contact info? Would love to work with them.
A "proffesional" you say?
haha I see my mistake now!
Just throw some bread around, the pigeon will eventually find you.
He probably has his mother cleaning his house and dressing him up, escorting him to his workplace.
there are some good ones.. honest!
A crow would've solved that shit in seconds.
pfft! it's no fair to Dean, there were no food at the top of the block he would get when he figured it out, no wonder he didn't get it as fast as the pigeon
damn the pigeon even gave him a head start and he still lost
Proof that humans are devolving
Guess we better start hiring Pigeon Game Reviewers.
0:57
The pigeon falling and Dean dashing at the same time is oddly satisfying
this disgusts me
Please be a joke
TencoYT91 I think he's joking
The James fowl creatures?
I know, they're discriminating against that pigeon-- also, who's the invalid?
To me, the saddest part of his tutorial flub is that he kept running headlong into the cylinder.
“Perhaps after beating my head against a steel wall 50 times my head will pass through.” I could practically hear his brain cells screaming in joy as they died from the embarrassment.
the fact that the pigeon started after dean yet finished before dean figured it out... just, wow.
It's worse when you realise the pigeon had to figure out use of a tool, making it more complex.
All jokes aside, for a pidgeon he is actually pretty good at video games.
It is time for people to realize (and I think a lot have at this point) that game journalists are little more than propagandists, paid by game studios to push product.
like ian miles cheong, except also with politics
You can't generalize like that man. You have a point but please be careful with these generalizations, it doesn't help anybody go engage in these kinds of tribal conflicts. Stick to the numerous examples you can actually point out
Yo bro are you still alive? Or does the feds has gotten to your house? Just wanting to know if you're safe,brother.
I have unironically sat back for several minutes laughing hysterically at this because it’s quite possibly one of the most ridiculously funny concepts I have ever seen
Imagine when being called a "bird brain" would be a compliment for someone!
Who would win
An ''journalist'' that has 18 years of experience with games
Vs
An animal that only flies and shits
What's the difference?
Technotoadnotafrog The "game journalist" can't fly.
Aureon Babe
The pigeon doesn't have 18 years of experience with boxes.
The comparison is frankly quite unfair. The journalist had instructions, the pigeon did not...
you can see the thought process for the pigeon. he annalyzes, understands, and puts into execution.
dean showed none of these.
He did press the right buttons. It is just his timing is slow.
And that is because HE IS OLD. Old people and timing do not mix together. They are SLOW at thinking.
@@kingol4801 i never said he didn't press the right buttons. i said that the bird understood what he needed to do way earlier than dean. and you could see the pigeon's thought process, and dean's didn't use basic understanding.
20 years . . .
. . . 20 years of games were reviewed by this dude. For all he gave a bad score, did he play them like this ?
Robot 21321 he gave ME 1 a bad score because he was too incompetent too play the game. examples: He didn't spend any ability points AT ALL because he didn't know how. He believed that when the orange targeting triangles appear on random enemies they can't be damaged by any weapon unless you hit them at the centre of the triangle...
You may now commence with your epic facepalm
the sad thing is that that is the only other time anyone references. that means in 20 years of doing this he made one mistake and had his co workers post a gag video showing had bad he is at platformers... my god this man fucked up once in 20 years fire him.
This is more like he was fucking up constantly for 20 years and finally got caught.
Zachary Jones dude not everyone is good at every game. hand me an xbone controller to play cod and you would think i have never played an fps, give me a kbm for overwatch back when i gave a shit and i was pretty good.
This is not bad gameplay. This is not even HORRIBLE gameplay. Its Non-functional gameplay. There is an inherent flaw in the player's critical thinking that has made playing any game an impossible chore.
> become a living human being
> grow up, go to school, learn
> get a job, learn some more
> get a job as a professional game analyzer
> do that for 20 years
> lose to a fucking pigeon in a video game
Did he win? No. A draw then? Not even.
Did... did he lose? Not only.
*The pigeon won with 25 seconds ahead.*
_with dean having a 3 second headstart_