I'm not feeling it. I think he lost weight, got in shape and wanted to play the field. I hope she finds a kind and loving man who will want to grow through all the stages of life with her.
So it's always the guy's fault? Losing weight means a man wants to play the field? Women are blameless. Are you a third wave feminist or something? You seem like one.
@@Thatsswell-hr9ev Nine times out of ten the man is the one who still wants to play the field. Especially as they reach middle age, men often feel the need to prove they still 'got it.'. Appreciation from the woman at home is not enough. Women are usually the ones left metaphorically holding the baby. The internet is literally bursting at the seams with stories of male spousal abandonment. Of course some women do the same, but generally speaking it's the same story. When you've seen it/read it 100 times it's like eye roll already.
I think this is selfish. It's almost like this child is being raised in a communal/swingers environment. The fact that they are still married can also be very confusing. This child may grow up to think that it's ok to have a wife and a girlfriend at the same time. Which almost no woman will put up with. I feel like this guy is claiming that this is what is best for the child as a complete cop out. I think that he's just selfish and wants the convenience of having the child's mother there to help him with everything. Both of these women are idiots for being in this situation and putting up with it. If this guy ever get's fat again, he'll probably just try to get back together with his wife. It seems like she may be holding onto the marriage in an extremely unhealthy way also. This guy just wants to have it however he wants it, whenever he wants it.
I went through shuffling between houses as a kid, and it was awful. I would spend 3 nights with my mom then 2 nights with my dad, then repeat. I lived out of a suitcase. I had 2 houses but I didn’t feel like I had a “home”. When someone would ask me where I lived I never knew which one to say. It’s a sad way to grow up. They obviously get along great together, I don’t know why they wouldn’t just stay married. It’s sad that vows don’t mean anything these days.
Fila Kri I think both options have their fair share of dysfunction. In my case, my parents didn’t actually fight, argue, or disagree on everything like you’d expect from a couple with a crumbling marriage. It was like one day they were fine and the next they weren’t. In a perfect world kids wouldn’t have to deal with all that, but unfortunately, the world will never be perfect. And I wouldn’t necessarily assume that 2 houses = less dysfunction. Adding in step parents and step siblings can add a whole other mix to the pile.
@Fila Kri I'm from a broken home too. I don't know if i would have liked this arrangement, but I had 2 homes, 4 parents, a step-brother, 2 half siblings, and my parents never argued!
See I think that's wrong. Parenting time is time to parent. Part of being a parent is making a home for your child. Which means I feel like when custody is split close to 50/50 the child should have everything they need at each house ( with of course certain things like shoes backpack winter coat Etc going back and forth with the child)
MJ L44 thank you for voicing your story.. I, too, felt like a suitcase and even worse, my parents lived in separate states! (This divorce arrangement is now illegal in the state of California). The outcome is equal to that of someone who has been parentally kidnapped. Only now can I process the trauma and PTSD symptoms that come with it. My husband and I live happily as a family our house, and two cats.
So basically he lost weight and dumped her and got a new woman...so sad because you can tell she still loves him. How do you just give up so easy, the grass isn't greener. I feel sad for the little boy he knows his mommy is sad and isn't home as much. Screw the new woman Mary. They still take vacations together and haven't taken their wedding picture down also they are still technically married. He is in adultry and polygamy. This lady needs to officially divorce him and move on she is getting played big time.
But everybody is different, the word for it is individual. This marriage could have been salvage someone or both them was selfish and didn't want to make the adjustment
he says boys aren't as interested in relationships...I think the father is not interested and projects to excuse his lack of loyalty empathy and self awareness. at 8 he is very aware on what love looks like between people.
Debbie is in complete denial. Low self esteem has led her to accept this exploitative arrangement. The guy is an obvious narcissist. Lost weight and felt he could play the field. I feel badly for Debbie and Gavin.
Having only any one parent in the house at any point is it the usual family setup for the child? To maintain a stable family life for the child it would have been much better had he stayed with one parent all the time. At least he is sure who he is coming home to each day.
This arrangement benefits the parents way more than the kid. They've made themselves both part-time parents, which is obviously easier than having full custody. And they both get to escape to a kid-free apartment every week and live like a single person. (Gee, how selfless.) Plus, they get to pat themselves on the back, thinking this somehow protects their kid from the trauma of divorce. Meanwhile, they're technically still married and have no plans to divorce -- yet they're sleeping with other people. They're leaving their kid with a really warped view of marriage.
Yeah, I think if they truly wanted to do what was best for the kid then they would just get back together because they seem to have the basic foundation of respect and likability for each other and that is more than I can say for my marriage. I put aside my differences for my son and I plan to stick it out as long as there is no abuse or cheating. I don’t need validation so it works for me. I feel like a strong woman so I can put up with the crap so I don’t have to split up the home. But, they have more of a foundation than I do in that respect so I think they would do well but maybe there is something else going on or they’re not strong enough to deal with the other’s crap.
You make many good points hwr as long as the parents are not bickering alot with each other, the child is shielded from divorce in large part. But yes it is a skewed view he may develop from all this.
Mary girl did you hear all those red flags. He doesn’t want to get married again. In fact he’s STILL married and needs to consult with his current wife before getting remarried because this whole hot mess of a situation was perhaps going to be temporary. Smh.
WHile this is lovely that they are trying to put their son first, the reality is that they just should have stayed married- if they can work this out they can work out their differences. People just give up on their m arriages too quickly.
They are putting their child first. They don't want him to have to worry about going back and forth house to house.. That's a wonderful thing.. They have 2 places to live. A house and an apartment. The little boy stays at the house. The Mom and Dad switch weekly. If I understood that correctly... Also the Dad already has a girlfriend. He got skinnier and decided he wanted different things then his wife. You don't need to be with someone just bc you have a child with him/her... That will not make a happy home.. I been there.... Anyways this arrangement works for them and their child. That is the only thing that matters. We do not know their life. We don't know what happened between the parents. Im just glad they are putting their child first, even if we don't understand why they are doing what they are doing... God bless them! Also im not trying to sound rude or smart. Im Just saying my opinion. Thanks for taking the time to read it..
My ex and I get along very well. We love each other and we are friendly for the sake of our child. We are still a family and we try to get along as best we can, but that does not mean we should have stayed together. For me, it is a matter of broken trust that is irreparable. I don't trust him to be my husband, but I trust him as my child's father. Getting along is best for the children. You don't have to share a house like this, but more power to them.
I think they just got married too early, and the husband needed the room to play the field. He lost weight and got in shape and got a girlfriend and he has his wife and his child loving him. Kind of a description of a typical narcissist. He actually has it all. I hope she finds a loving good looking kind of guy and then he will know what he lost
My daughter's dad and I were together for 8 years. We broke up and we decided that it wasn't the baby's fault we couldn't stay together. So we all lived together and Here we are 10 years later. My daughter is a very well-adjusted teenager. And I am married to an amazing man, who my ex calls his other brother And my daughter's father walked me down the aisle when I married my husband. ( Daughter's dad is an identical twin. And yes, he lives with us, too) It wasn't always an ideal situation, but we did what we had to do for our daughter. Thankfully We all found our way through, & everything is good now. I always say we may not be conventional but we are more highly functional family than a lot of blood relatives. My daughter even says how lucky she is that she has her uncle her dad and her stepdad all together in 1 house with her mom and her.
What a wonderful role models for their son and for everyone. I'm sure it's not always sunshine and rainbows. Mary is a great role model too to also put Gavin first and respect this nesting arrangement. Gavin is a lucky kid.
I feel so sorry for the girlfriend lady who is with this guy and he says he's not ever getting married again. Basically this girlfriend lady is wasting her time because he's still married. What a jerk!
maryjoan, I was wondering about the girlfriend. If he’s opposed to getting remarried, then he’s probably not looking to have more children. Doesn’t this also leave Mary on her own, really? Dates may occur in the house when one parent is staying with the child, but they didn’t say anything about moving Mary into the other home either. Maybe she’s hoping the wife will eventually find someone and want a divorce?
I'm cool with the idea that they went on a family vacation without Mary, since it was early in there relationship and she hadn't been introduced yet. However, I think Adam made it clear that he wasn't serious about her, since he took a vacation in the middle of her CANCER Treatment! A supportive partner would have been there for her. Family vacations are not mandatory. Take some day trips with your kid and support your sick partner!
That's Mary's role. She's the face of divorce without being the bad guy and Mary has no clue. But, she's ok with him saying marriage is not for him. I hope both Mary and the wife get some confidence and a backbone. Fyi the wife is hiding behind Gavin trying to still hold on to what she can of her marriage and family. You can see in her face it's eating her alive
Unfortunately this is adultery. No matter how well and articulately they present it to us it’s adultery and so very sad. I pray they repent from this and restore their family.
This is not noble, it is pathetic! If you care about each other this much, why not stay married? It's ridiculous that you can't be just have your differences married and spend some time apart married, not weeks apart, or separate houses, but time apart and come together as a couple and raise your son with parents are devoted in love. This just shows that marriage means nothing to you!
Y'all are insane. This is amazing for the as adults to put their child first and figure out their own issue without dragging the poor little guy into it. I moved out of my dads house with my mother and one brother and instantly their was a rift in our relationship. Being able to keep the child in the same environment is incredible. And this is not polygamy, they are separated. not together. yes on paper but they aren't together. he said he didn't want to remarry and that it isn't for him. So judgmental. Let them figure out what works best for them
Strapping teenage boy sees a girl and her mom lugging a TV up a stairwell. Instead of taking it from them, he holds the door open. Ten years later: "I'm in the master bedroom and she is in the guest room." Sounds about right.
Jimi 52, then I’m going to ask what Ciera didn’t. My parents divorced when I was 3/4yrs old, so that’s all I ever knew. The divorce was messy, so my dad wouldn’t speak with my mom throughout my childhood. After the divorce, my dad relocated back to the state they were both from, so I had to travel from state to state for visitation. It was rough emotionally to say the least. I truly admire this ex-couple! I’m always happy when parents put the child’s needs first and can remain respectful and communicate. This couple took it an extra step, and while others may not be able to duplicate this, maybe they can learn something good from this situation if they find themselves divorcing or separating. The question...is the wife(your aunt) hoping for a reconciliation?
Women building up women is much more effective than putting them down. I know Mary personally and she's a phenomenal woman, incredibly sweet and beautiful. Both women are beautiful. The only thing that isn't beautiful is negativity directed another human being.
TheJenniblaze414 I wasn't gonna say this at all, because sometimes things are better left unsaid and you should keep your comments to yourself. But since the original poster doesn't know how to do that, and since you mentioned Mary - let's just be real Mary is BEAUTIFUL that's the first thing I thought. Not saying the wife is unattractive - that would be quite rude, but come on you know Mary is STUNNINGLY beautiful and from what I can tell seems like she would be just as beautiful on the inside as well.
It’s the hair, I think because I thought if the gf had long hair then she would be much prettier than the wife but that’s just my opinion... all of you who are saying women are tearing down women: it’s just an opinion. I’m certainly not tearing either one of those women down. They’re probably both beautiful inside. I just happen to think one is prettier than the other on the outside which doesn’t count as a person anyway. It’s just my opinion.
My parents had to fly me back and forth 500 miles a few times a year. Having grown up in one house having my parents alternate staying there would have made an incredible difference in my life and the stability I could have felt as a kid. What a genius idea!
I think he just want to play the field and have his cake. Once they decide to get divorced everyone is going to be hurt,notice she is not dating he is..she is holding out on ope that they will get back together.She will see in the future that this is not going to work
I'm so happy to see parents who put their child first. The "debbie downer" in me, can't help but feel like the husband is a little bit cold toward his wife. I may be wrong, but it seems they were fine until he started to lose weight. She married him while he was heavy. Maybe he thought there was someone else out there for him, once he lost weight. I found it very interesting, when Debby was discussing counselling, that it was shocking for her to hear how she was not giving Adam what he needed in the marriage. He nodded in affirmation, but there was no mention of what was discussed about what she wasn't getting from him, any longer. The fact that she doesn't have a new love in her life, may suggest she still loves him, but that's just my opinion. Don't hate on me. Mary seems like a lovely woman. I just wonder if she was prepared to hear Adam saying that marriage is not for him anymore. He didn't even imply that they would someday move in together, since he said the only way his and Debby's arrangement would change, is if Debby decided to marry again. But this is just conjecture on my part. Gavin is a lucky little boy to be loved by his parents and Mary.
I think it’s fine if it’s working for them and for the child. Better than parents like mine who fought half of their life in the court and destroyed my childhood entirely. And I didn’t have the feeling that the wife was sad about the situation or jealous. If they’re really just great friends now? Why not. Than it’s not polygamy if they don’t have a physical relationship anymore. She will also find a new partner and I hope they’ll all stay happy at the end.
They could have had a house build like a duplex only with the son having his room in the middle. Open it out so Gavin has one bedroom but his parents have their own apartment/ Their own sides, their own living quarters.
After 4 years get a Big Mac and sign the divorce papers already. This is totally unfair to ladies in this scenario. The son is going to learn to be a player.
It’s no ones place to judge, but the big man upstairs. I do think that Gavin is very loved and sometimes it doesn’t always feel that way when parents are separated/ divorced so kudos to them for putting Gavin before their needs.
OMG he doesn’t even want a divorce from his wife and doesn’t want to remarry. Basically he wants to play both field. What a jerk. Adults doing selfish things and using their kids to excuse their bad role model behaviour
My ex and I (and our three boys) have been nesting for almost 5 years. It's been GREAT for our kids (yes, work for us - but stability for them is worth it). familynesting.org tells our story and I'd love to hear about other families doing the same thing!
Not sure how these 2 women are putting up with him. Not saying he is a terrible guy, but those who are opposed to marriage forever (after his past actions) are treating you are disposable until the greener grass comes along.
If this is really for the child, why cant the parents just leave together like roommates? because the child is still growing up without both parents present
Lol this is basically what my sister and her ex husband do. But they are 100% divorced. It only happened after my nieces and nephew had a rough time living in two places. It’s also only a temporary situation.
These comments are ignorant. She stated in the beginning that SHE initiated the separation. He didn’t lose weight and up and leave her.. they’re doing the best they can as parents and trying something unconventional.
I don't see how you can just date somebody else while still legally married. I think if they are going to divorce they should get it finalized before getting with a new person
If someone is bringing their mate over during their nesting time, I hope that it is set up that there are different bedrooms for each parent with their own belongings during their stay.
I think this is great! I would actually consider this myself! The only part I don't understand - or agree with - is why are they still married? Why do they have no interest in divorcing? I would find this frustrating if I was Mary. Even if he doesn't want to re-marry, it's still a little bizarre to not want to close that chapter.
Some of these comments are horrid. How are we supposed to make a better world for our kids if this is how we talk about one another this way? That's the beauty of free will right? You can spew your negative opinions or your positive opinions and this group of adults can make the choices for their family that they feel is best. Let's build each other up instead of knocking them down.
The wife asked for the divorce. But its obvious he still loves her because he said he doesn't want to get married again unless his wife wanted to get remarried. So I feel bad for the gf
For 3 decades I’ve applied a scale to this situation. Women are NOT “bored” and walking away from really great men while they have a tiny baby! 9/10 he Is either cheating or being - Both of which are on the scale a Misogyny & could make him not the best other parent for your kid. There are very very rare situations where a woman will leave a good man. In general, a *the younger the child, is the worst good deed must’ve been to make her leave and be desperate and live in hardship*.
soo let me get this straight he lost a bunch of weight invented this “nesting” nonsense just to cheat on his wife and now he’s using her to avoid any commitment with another women Oh and that other women must be lucky to have him I just loved how he said “marriage is not for me” This guy is an evil narcissist and I wish him to gain triple the weight he lost. I feel so sorry for that poor kid he lives in 2 homes his daddy has a girlfriend but the parents are still married. He must be so confused :(
No one should stay together because of a child, you need to look after your child yes but you are also important in ur life and should be happy. I think this is a good way for the child, they seem to be handling it very maturely. These two are separated, it’s totally different than someone cheating in a relationship.
“So why is your marriage photo still hung up in the home?” Man- “.....Lazy...” (looks at girlfriend😑) Debbie- A beautiful, caring and MEANINGFUL answer. 🤦🏻♀️ugh... really, guy?
Women need to keep the house and the situation...the minute that is taken away.. I will never get married. Other married mothers trust the mother they've seen all along and wouldn't understand. Many situations aren't nice and for the safety of the mother. She needs to have the quitclaim and the house. We had a situation near the school where they were trying to talk it out and were nesting before the divorce was finalized. The guy came home on a Wednesday and killed the mother and himself. The two kids are so traumatized. If there was a clear separation, division...this mother could have possibly been saved.
I’m friends with my ex fiancé even though he called off the wedding when I was passed out waiting for an ambulance and he ended it the next day when I was still in hospital. It broke my heart and was very hard. But because we were friends before we got together and made a pact that no matter what happened in our relationship, if it ended we’d do everything we can to remain friends. We speak every couple of days and we’re sometimes on the phone for a few hours. We both understand each other. It was very hard, but I’m glad we were able to remain friends.
When she asked if there is going to be a divorce and he said “ONLY if she wants to get remarried” like wthhhhh if you guys know you aren’t for each other than why not just get a divorce and keep it pushing. It really does seem like he just wants to have fun and then go back to his wife bcus he knows she would take him back How sad
This is such a silly thing. I mean if they really think this isn’t affecting their son then they are delusional. That man lost weight and just wanted out of the marriage of after that. They’re not even divorced 🤷🏽♀️
They both look better than they ever have. Sad they can't just make it work too. These two clearly work well together it's wierd they can't just make their marriage work.
This sounds awful but seems he got fit and maybe moved on idk at all but just my opinion seems like that glad they put their son first which is beautiful thing but she seems sad
Well that sucks...she fell in love with him and married him when he was fat, he loses weight, gets healthier and exponentially more attractive, and now he doesn’t want to be married anymore?? That’s really sad for her. I realize we don’t have the backstory, but on the surface, it really makes the husband seem narcissistic and a bit shallow. His wife clearly still loves him and is not moving on even though he is dating someone else.
Weird but as long as the have officially divorced, then it's creative. The son does not have to move back & forth which is a bonus for the son. 11:55 they are not officially divorced. They should officially divorce & have their living arrangements written in contract
I personally think than when Adam lost the weight, that is when things changed. He met her when he was fat and married her when he was fat. And she loved him when he was fat. But as soon as he lost the weight, his head got big. I feel bad for her...cause I think she is doing whatever she can to hold a family together.
I'm not feeling it. I think he lost weight, got in shape and wanted to play the field. I hope she finds a kind and loving man who will want to grow through all the stages of life with her.
FIRST thing that came to my mind, too.
Possible, but we don’t know
So it's always the guy's fault? Losing weight means a man wants to play the field? Women are blameless. Are you a third wave feminist or something? You seem like one.
@@Thatsswell-hr9ev Nine times out of ten the man is the one who still wants to play the field. Especially as they reach middle age, men often feel the need to prove they still 'got it.'. Appreciation from the woman at home is not enough. Women are usually the ones left metaphorically holding the baby. The internet is literally bursting at the seams with stories of male spousal abandonment. Of course some women do the same, but generally speaking it's the same story. When you've seen it/read it 100 times it's like eye roll already.
I think this is selfish. It's almost like this child is being raised in a communal/swingers environment. The fact that they are still married can also be very confusing. This child may grow up to think that it's ok to have a wife and a girlfriend at the same time. Which almost no woman will put up with. I feel like this guy is claiming that this is what is best for the child as a complete cop out. I think that he's just selfish and wants the convenience of having the child's mother there to help him with everything. Both of these women are idiots for being in this situation and putting up with it. If this guy ever get's fat again, he'll probably just try to get back together with his wife. It seems like she may be holding onto the marriage in an extremely unhealthy way also. This guy just wants to have it however he wants it, whenever he wants it.
I went through shuffling between houses as a kid, and it was awful. I would spend 3 nights with my mom then 2 nights with my dad, then repeat. I lived out of a suitcase. I had 2 houses but I didn’t feel like I had a “home”. When someone would ask me where I lived I never knew which one to say. It’s a sad way to grow up.
They obviously get along great together, I don’t know why they wouldn’t just stay married. It’s sad that vows don’t mean anything these days.
Fila Kri
I was stating my experience as a child bouncing between 2 houses. Not quite sure what you are getting at there...
Fila Kri I think both options have their fair share of dysfunction. In my case, my parents didn’t actually fight, argue, or disagree on everything like you’d expect from a couple with a crumbling marriage. It was like one day they were fine and the next they weren’t. In a perfect world kids wouldn’t have to deal with all that, but unfortunately, the world will never be perfect.
And I wouldn’t necessarily assume that 2 houses = less dysfunction. Adding in step parents and step siblings can add a whole other mix to the pile.
@Fila Kri I'm from a broken home too. I don't know if i would have liked this arrangement, but I had 2 homes, 4 parents, a step-brother, 2 half siblings, and my parents never argued!
See I think that's wrong. Parenting time is time to parent. Part of being a parent is making a home for your child. Which means I feel like when custody is split close to 50/50 the child should have everything they need at each house ( with of course certain things like shoes backpack winter coat Etc going back and forth with the child)
MJ L44 thank you for voicing your story.. I, too, felt like a suitcase and even worse, my parents lived in separate states! (This divorce arrangement is now illegal in the state of California). The outcome is equal to that of someone who has been parentally kidnapped. Only now can I process the trauma and PTSD symptoms that come with it. My husband and I live happily as a family our house, and two cats.
So basically he lost weight and dumped her and got a new woman...so sad because you can tell she still loves him. How do you just give up so easy, the grass isn't greener. I feel sad for the little boy he knows his mommy is sad and isn't home as much. Screw the new woman Mary. They still take vacations together and haven't taken their wedding picture down also they are still technically married. He is in adultry and polygamy. This lady needs to officially divorce him and move on she is getting played big time.
River Moon sometimes the grass is greener
River Moon the grass was totally greener on the other side for me. Actually found someone that loves me the way I deserve to be loved.
River Moon just what I was thinking he got fit and wanted more whatever sad she seems sad my opinion
EXACTLY.
He IS still married to her.
Too bad they didn’t put all this energy into making their marriage work.
I'm sorry to hear that. There can be many difficult seasons in our lives and it isn't always easy :) With aging comes more changes!
exactly!
@Fila Kri I'm so sorry you have to live this way! Every parent should be happy, together or separate!
so sad but true
But everybody is different, the word for it is individual. This marriage could have been salvage someone or both them was selfish and didn't want to make the adjustment
he says boys aren't as interested in relationships...I think the father is not interested and projects to excuse his lack of loyalty empathy and self awareness.
at 8 he is very aware on what love looks like between people.
Debbie is in complete denial. Low self esteem has led her to accept this exploitative arrangement. The guy is an obvious narcissist. Lost weight and felt he could play the field. I feel badly for Debbie and Gavin.
He said he lost weight after divorce.
no a narc wouldn't care about the kid that much. Why do you think you see narc behavior? Taking care of yourself as he has is good.
I disagree. I think this is more normal and traditional than you think. Its about the kids. Simple.
Yep
Having only any one parent in the house at any point is it the usual family setup for the child? To maintain a stable family life for the child it would have been much better had he stayed with one parent all the time. At least he is sure who he is coming home to each day.
This arrangement benefits the parents way more than the kid. They've made themselves both part-time parents, which is obviously easier than having full custody. And they both get to escape to a kid-free apartment every week and live like a single person. (Gee, how selfless.) Plus, they get to pat themselves on the back, thinking this somehow protects their kid from the trauma of divorce. Meanwhile, they're technically still married and have no plans to divorce -- yet they're sleeping with other people. They're leaving their kid with a really warped view of marriage.
True
Sorry megan about your show, its probley a two way street,they can call you anything but you cannot sssssoooo sad.
Yeah, I think if they truly wanted to do what was best for the kid then they would just get back together because they seem to have the basic foundation of respect and likability for each other and that is more than I can say for my marriage. I put aside my differences for my son and I plan to stick it out as long as there is no abuse or cheating. I don’t need validation so it works for me. I feel like a strong woman so I can put up with the crap so I don’t have to split up the home. But, they have more of a foundation than I do in that respect so I think they would do well but maybe there is something else going on or they’re not strong enough to deal with the other’s crap.
You make many good points hwr as long as the parents are not bickering alot with each other, the child is shielded from divorce in large part. But yes it is a skewed view he may develop from all this.
Valid points made Nichole!
Mary girl did you hear all those red flags. He doesn’t want to get married again. In fact he’s STILL married and needs to consult with his current wife before getting remarried because this whole hot mess of a situation was perhaps going to be temporary. Smh.
WHile this is lovely that they are trying to put their son first, the reality is that they just should have stayed married- if they can work this out they can work out their differences. People just give up on their m arriages too quickly.
I was told a significant minority of divorced couples get remarried! More than 10%, closer to 15% I think. I have seen it happen. You never know....
They are putting their child first. They don't want him to have to worry about going back and forth house to house.. That's a wonderful thing.. They have 2 places to live. A house and an apartment. The little boy stays at the house. The Mom and Dad switch weekly. If I understood that correctly... Also the Dad already has a girlfriend. He got skinnier and decided he wanted different things then his wife. You don't need to be with someone just bc you have a child with him/her... That will not make a happy home.. I been there.... Anyways this arrangement works for them and their child. That is the only thing that matters. We do not know their life. We don't know what happened between the parents. Im just glad they are putting their child first, even if we don't understand why they are doing what they are doing... God bless them! Also im not trying to sound rude or smart. Im Just saying my opinion. Thanks for taking the time to read it..
My ex and I get along very well. We love each other and we are friendly for the sake of our child. We are still a family and we try to get along as best we can, but that does not mean we should have stayed together. For me, it is a matter of broken trust that is irreparable. I don't trust him to be my husband, but I trust him as my child's father. Getting along is best for the children. You don't have to share a house like this, but more power to them.
Selahsmum yeah..... it seems people are much better at separating then staying together.....
I agree. I hope they can move pass their differences and get married again.
So basically this dude just wants to play the field! Disgusting.
So does she
Selahsmum Yep!
The guy is just using mary. He just said he is not ready to get married again.
This is so sad. I feel that she still really loves him.
I feel the same ...you can hear the hurt in her soul when she speaks.
I think they just got married too early, and the husband needed the room to play the field. He lost weight and got in shape and got a girlfriend and he has his wife and his child loving him. Kind of a description of a typical narcissist. He actually has it all. I hope she finds a loving good looking kind of guy and then he will know what he lost
Polygamy shouldn't be glorified like this. So, so sad.
Kristin Peterson it's not polygamy. he's not married to both women. technically it's adultery.
Zaza Brown you are right according to the law. I still see it as a polygamous lifestyle, though.
He s not sleeping with both. He s doing whats best for their son in their mind.
@@julietchristman1389 he is doing what is best for him, not his son
@@chelseagirl278 your replying a year later. I have no idea what your talking about.
My daughter's dad and I were together for 8 years. We broke up and we decided that it wasn't the baby's fault we couldn't stay together. So we all lived together and Here we are 10 years later. My daughter is a very well-adjusted teenager. And I am married to an amazing man, who my ex calls his other brother And my daughter's father walked me down the aisle when I married my husband. ( Daughter's dad is an identical twin. And yes, he lives with us, too) It wasn't always an ideal situation, but we did what we had to do for our daughter. Thankfully We all found our way through, & everything is good now. I always say we may not be conventional but we are more highly functional family than a lot of blood relatives. My daughter even says how lucky she is that she has her uncle her dad and her stepdad all together in 1 house with her mom and her.
They are still legally married so they are just glorifying adultery for their son and and all these people are clapping calling them great parents
Exactly. Well said.
Definitely agree
Absolutely agree! In these days they well call good what is bad and vice versa. This is adultery no matter what they say. To me this man is a coward.
At 8:23 it says they are legally separated meaning they’re divorced probably
HijabiProductions - in some states you can file for separation and not be divorced. So yea, they still can be married but legally separated.
What a wonderful role models for their son and for everyone. I'm sure it's not always sunshine and rainbows. Mary is a great role model too to also put Gavin first and respect this nesting arrangement. Gavin is a lucky kid.
I feel so sorry for the girlfriend lady who is with this guy and he says he's not ever getting married again. Basically this girlfriend lady is wasting her time because he's still married. What a jerk!
Some people don’t want to get married
She can leave at any time. He set his expectations loud and clear. Live and let live
SORRY Mary, find someone divorced , you are worth it,!,,,
maryjoan, I was wondering about the girlfriend. If he’s opposed to getting remarried, then he’s probably not looking to have more children. Doesn’t this also leave Mary on her own, really? Dates may occur in the house when one parent is staying with the child, but they didn’t say anything about moving Mary into the other home either. Maybe she’s hoping the wife will eventually find someone and want a divorce?
ditto!!! he’s not an available guy. he said it himself-he doesn’t believe in marriage
Go back to your wife that you took the vows with this will not end well with Mary.
I'm cool with the idea that they went on a family vacation without Mary, since it was early in there relationship and she hadn't been introduced yet. However, I think Adam made it clear that he wasn't serious about her, since he took a vacation in the middle of her CANCER Treatment! A supportive partner would have been there for her. Family vacations are not mandatory. Take some day trips with your kid and support your sick partner!
Can’t believe this is being glorified. Disgusting.
How is it disgusting?! They created a safe environment for themselves and their son.
That's Mary's role. She's the face of divorce without being the bad guy and Mary has no clue. But, she's ok with him saying marriage is not for him. I hope both Mary and the wife get some confidence and a backbone. Fyi the wife is hiding behind Gavin trying to still hold on to what she can of her marriage and family. You can see in her face it's eating her alive
Michelle Johnson, I said the same thing.
Unfortunately this is adultery. No matter how well and articulately they present it to us it’s adultery and so very sad. I pray they repent from this and restore their family.
Caryn belcher before they start including other adults into their lives, they need to include some God unto their lives .
This is not noble, it is pathetic! If you care about each other this much, why not stay married? It's ridiculous that you can't be just have your differences married and spend some time apart married, not weeks apart, or separate houses, but time apart and come together as a couple and raise your son with parents are devoted in love. This just shows that marriage means nothing to you!
Not being in love with your partner anymore doesnt mean that you don’t care for each other
If u notice they are legally separated
No word of divorce
So yeah.....they are sooooo still legally married
Y'all are insane. This is amazing for the as adults to put their child first and figure out their own issue without dragging the poor little guy into it. I moved out of my dads house with my mother and one brother and instantly their was a rift in our relationship. Being able to keep the child in the same environment is incredible. And this is not polygamy, they are separated. not together. yes on paper but they aren't together. he said he didn't want to remarry and that it isn't for him. So judgmental. Let them figure out what works best for them
Strapping teenage boy sees a girl and her mom lugging a TV up a stairwell. Instead of taking it from them, he holds the door open.
Ten years later: "I'm in the master bedroom and she is in the guest room."
Sounds about right.
It looks like she still loved him though 😕 they will either get back together or her heart will get broken
Ciera Howell that’s my aunt
Jimi 52 she seems like a very sweet woman
Jimi 52, then I’m going to ask what Ciera didn’t. My parents divorced when I was 3/4yrs old, so that’s all I ever knew. The divorce was messy, so my dad wouldn’t speak with my mom throughout my childhood. After the divorce, my dad relocated back to the state they were both from, so I had to travel from state to state for visitation. It was rough emotionally to say the least. I truly admire this ex-couple! I’m always happy when parents put the child’s needs first and can remain respectful and communicate. This couple took it an extra step, and while others may not be able to duplicate this, maybe they can learn something good from this situation if they find themselves divorcing or separating. The question...is the wife(your aunt) hoping for a reconciliation?
@@awells327 I sure hope they get back together! She loves him deep down inside, you can feel it!
Frankie & Max speaking the truth, I kinda think so too, especially, hearing her talk about their wedding vows.
Omg the wife is much prettier!!!
Women building up women is much more effective than putting them down. I know Mary personally and she's a phenomenal woman, incredibly sweet and beautiful. Both women are beautiful. The only thing that isn't beautiful is negativity directed another human being.
TheJenniblaze414 I wasn't gonna say this at all, because sometimes things are better left unsaid and you should keep your comments to yourself. But since the original poster doesn't know how to do that, and since you mentioned Mary - let's just be real Mary is BEAUTIFUL that's the first thing I thought. Not saying the wife is unattractive - that would be quite rude, but come on you know Mary is STUNNINGLY beautiful and from what I can tell seems like she would be just as beautiful on the inside as well.
Woman to woman, you should never ever try to break another woman down! Especially when you don't know her! Always empower each other!
These teddy bear feelings of sisterhood are silly. Women are biologically programmed to be adversaries.
It’s the hair, I think because I thought if the gf had long hair then she would be much prettier than the wife but that’s just my opinion... all of you who are saying women are tearing down women: it’s just an opinion. I’m certainly not tearing either one of those women down. They’re probably both beautiful inside. I just happen to think one is prettier than the other on the outside which doesn’t count as a person anyway. It’s just my opinion.
My parents had to fly me back and forth 500 miles a few times a year. Having grown up in one house having my parents alternate staying there would have made an incredible difference in my life and the stability I could have felt as a kid. What a genius idea!
I think he just want to play the field and have his cake. Once they decide to get divorced everyone is going to be hurt,notice she is not dating he is..she is holding out on ope that they will get back together.She will see in the future that this is not going to work
YV-HE W absolutely! I agree completely
It's already been 4 years and it's working for them.
She's the one who said she wanted out the marriage.
Ridiculous 🙄
Ghost102 CP you are 🤪
I'm so happy to see parents who put their child first. The "debbie downer" in me, can't help but feel like the husband is a little bit cold toward his wife. I may be wrong, but it seems they were fine until he started to lose weight. She married him while he was heavy. Maybe he thought there was someone else out there for him, once he lost weight. I found it very interesting, when Debby was discussing counselling, that it was shocking for her to hear how she was not giving Adam what he needed in the marriage. He nodded in affirmation, but there was no mention of what was discussed about what she wasn't getting from him, any longer. The fact that she doesn't have a new love in her life, may suggest she still loves him, but that's just my opinion. Don't hate on me. Mary seems like a lovely woman. I just wonder if she was prepared to hear Adam saying that marriage is not for him anymore. He didn't even imply that they would someday move in together, since he said the only way his and Debby's arrangement would change, is if Debby decided to marry again. But this is just conjecture on my part. Gavin is a lucky little boy to be loved by his parents and Mary.
I think it’s fine if it’s working for them and for the child. Better than parents like mine who fought half of their life in the court and destroyed my childhood entirely. And I didn’t have the feeling that the wife was sad about the situation or jealous. If they’re really just great friends now? Why not. Than it’s not polygamy if they don’t have a physical relationship anymore.
She will also find a new partner and I hope they’ll all stay happy at the end.
Not for us to judge. If it works for them and most importantly for their son...leave them be. And the son has parents that still get along
They could have had a house build like a duplex only with the son having his room in the middle. Open it out so Gavin has one bedroom but his parents have their own apartment/ Their own sides, their own living quarters.
Hope he gets twice as fat as he was....
😅 not really but secretly I DO..
itsadogsworld yaknow 😩😭 yes I’m actually really mean but secretly so it doesn’t count ya know?
itsadogsworld yaknow for some reason I feel like your crying right now.. are you on your period?
😂😂😂
Hope the belt on the trousers he drops so quickly becomes extra tight 😂😂😂😂
Omg!! 😄
Omg the wife is sooo much more beautiful. She must have low self esteem to put up with this. Lol. This is a messed up arrangement.
Looks like it. So is the gf. Why is she around for this? She can find a single man.
Marge S not necessarily they love their child and they put their child's first and has nothing to do with self-esteem. Modern humans.✌🌍🌎🌏
Mel The wife should find herself a nice and handsome man.
Just weird. And sad.
Nesting ... same shyte different name. Still married and all please.
I love this! I love that they put their son first instead of being selfish.
they are extremely selfish
ew this husband is gross and the wife has no self esteem she seems like a pushover to say it was all her fault .
After 4 years get a Big Mac and sign the divorce papers already. This is totally unfair to ladies in this scenario. The son is going to learn to be a player.
That’s so stupid. It teaches their son inconsistency and that the parents will always be in and out. It’s also colossal waste of money.
They should just stay married and raise their son. I feel bad for the other women, they are dragging her for their selfish reasons .
It’s great too that neither of them have romantic feelings left for each other... woooww
Jeez this is almost painful to watch..
It’s no ones place to judge, but the big man upstairs. I do think that Gavin is very loved and sometimes it doesn’t always feel that way when parents are separated/ divorced so kudos to them for putting Gavin before their needs.
OMG he doesn’t even want a divorce from his wife and doesn’t want to remarry. Basically he wants to play both field. What a jerk. Adults doing selfish things and using their kids to excuse their bad role model behaviour
The couple must be applauded. Inspiring indeed.
My ex and I (and our three boys) have been nesting for almost 5 years. It's been GREAT for our kids (yes, work for us - but stability for them is worth it). familynesting.org tells our story and I'd love to hear about other families doing the same thing!
Not sure how these 2 women are putting up with him. Not saying he is a terrible guy, but those who are opposed to marriage forever (after his past actions) are treating you are disposable until the greener grass comes along.
They are very likable and I wish they were married! But... if they're going to be separated, I think their arrangement is the best setup.
Nothing is better than mom and dad together . For a 8 year old that's all he want.😞
If this is really for the child, why cant the parents just leave together like roommates? because the child is still growing up without both parents present
I admire their courage and maturity, divorce leaves decades of pain for all, too bad the could not solve it.
Really love her dress on her. Cute color
Lol this is basically what my sister and her ex husband do. But they are 100% divorced. It only happened after my nieces and nephew had a rough time living in two places. It’s also only a temporary situation.
These comments are ignorant. She stated in the beginning that SHE initiated the separation. He didn’t lose weight and up and leave her.. they’re doing the best they can as parents and trying something unconventional.
The wife is even prettier than the girlfriend and it seems she is still in love with him. Why not fight for your marriage smh
This is like the show “Splitting Up Together”
Julia Duprey I thought the EXACT same thing!
I thought the same thing!
Lol that's literally written in the background of the set
ouch hearing short term as the GF? oh seriously ekkk that GF is too gorgeous for that.
I don't see how you can just date somebody else while still legally married. I think if they are going to divorce they should get it finalized before getting with a new person
They make an awesome couple! I think they are meant to be together! You can feel the love between them!
If someone is bringing their mate over during their nesting time, I hope that it is set up that there are different bedrooms for each parent with their own belongings during their stay.
disgusting …..more and more of the it gets tough, "we grow apart" and we GIVE UP on our lifelong promise! stop making this acceptable and a norm
She doesn't look happy. She looks sad.
I think this is great! I would actually consider this myself! The only part I don't understand - or agree with - is why are they still married? Why do they have no interest in divorcing? I would find this frustrating if I was Mary. Even if he doesn't want to re-marry, it's still a little bizarre to not want to close that chapter.
Maintaining three households instead of two sounds soooo expensive.
Some of these comments are horrid. How are we supposed to make a better world for our kids if this is how we talk about one another this way? That's the beauty of free will right? You can spew your negative opinions or your positive opinions and this group of adults can make the choices for their family that they feel is best. Let's build each other up instead of knocking them down.
Wow, but no
It looks like the wife lost weight too
The wife asked for the divorce. But its obvious he still loves her because he said he doesn't want to get married again unless his wife wanted to get remarried. So I feel bad for the gf
For 3 decades I’ve applied a scale to this situation. Women are NOT “bored” and walking away from really great men while they have a tiny baby!
9/10 he Is either cheating or being - Both of which are on the scale a Misogyny & could make him not the best other parent for your kid. There are very very rare situations where a woman will leave a good man.
In general, a *the younger the child, is the worst good deed must’ve been to make her leave and be desperate and live in hardship*.
soo let me get this straight he lost a bunch of weight invented this “nesting” nonsense just to cheat on his wife and now he’s using her to avoid any commitment with another women Oh and that other women must be lucky to have him I just loved how he said “marriage is not for me” This guy is an evil narcissist and I wish him to gain triple the weight he lost. I feel so sorry for that poor kid he lives in 2 homes his daddy has a girlfriend but the parents are still married. He must be so confused :(
M S Absolutely! You said it right
The child doesn't live in two homes you moron. He didn't cheat, they are separated but not divorced, divorce is costly .
No one should stay together because of a child, you need to look after your child yes but you are also important in ur life and should be happy. I think this is a good way for the child, they seem to be handling it very maturely. These two are separated, it’s totally different than someone cheating in a relationship.
“So why is your marriage photo still hung up in the home?”
Man- “.....Lazy...” (looks at girlfriend😑)
Debbie- A beautiful, caring and MEANINGFUL answer.
🤦🏻♀️ugh... really, guy?
So, Adam got in shape and things changed...he started getting attention from others and there you go...imagine that.
Looks like the man just got himself a girlfriend. That’s all.
Women need to keep the house and the situation...the minute that is taken away.. I will never get married. Other married mothers trust the mother they've seen all along and wouldn't understand. Many situations aren't nice and for the safety of the mother. She needs to have the quitclaim and the house. We had a situation near the school where they were trying to talk it out and were nesting before the divorce was finalized. The guy came home on a Wednesday and killed the mother and himself. The two kids are so traumatized. If there was a clear separation, division...this mother could have possibly been saved.
I’m friends with my ex fiancé even though he called off the wedding when I was passed out waiting for an ambulance and he ended it the next day when I was still in hospital. It broke my heart and was very hard. But because we were friends before we got together and made a pact that no matter what happened in our relationship, if it ended we’d do everything we can to remain friends. We speak every couple of days and we’re sometimes on the phone for a few hours. We both understand each other. It was very hard, but I’m glad we were able to remain friends.
It’s called an affair! Now they are giving new names for it!!! Crazy!
absolutely amazing love this and hats off to the new gf.
When she asked if there is going to be a divorce and he said “ONLY if she wants to get remarried” like wthhhhh if you guys know you aren’t for each other than why not just get a divorce and keep it pushing. It really does seem like he just wants to have fun and then go back to his wife bcus he knows she would take him back
How sad
I'm impressed that people can see through the blatant selfishness of these parents, especially the father
This is such a silly thing. I mean if they really think this isn’t affecting their son then they are delusional. That man lost weight and just wanted out of the marriage of after that. They’re not even divorced 🤷🏽♀️
They both look better than they ever have. Sad they can't just make it work too. These two clearly work well together it's wierd they can't just make their marriage work.
Children would much rather be from a broken home than in one. If this works for Gavin then that is what is best.
This is 😢 😢 😢
This sounds awful but seems he got fit and maybe moved on idk at all but just my opinion seems like that glad they put their son first which is beautiful thing but she seems sad
Well that sucks...she fell in love with him and married him when he was fat, he loses weight, gets healthier and exponentially more attractive, and now he doesn’t want to be married anymore?? That’s really sad for her. I realize we don’t have the backstory, but on the surface, it really makes the husband seem narcissistic and a bit shallow. His wife clearly still loves him and is not moving on even though he is dating someone else.
Yeah, he thinks he deserves a va-jay-jay upgrade. He doesn’t. He’s not Tom Brady. Shut it down. Dealbreaker. _Liz Lemon
Still married, still together, has a girlfriend. Ok then.
Marriage is work so.make it work.
Gavin is confused
They shouldn't have a kid ! Want to act stupid don't bring an innocent child to your revolting life gross.
Weird but as long as the have officially divorced, then it's creative. The son does not have to move back & forth which is a bonus for the son. 11:55 they are not officially divorced. They should officially divorce & have their living arrangements written in contract
augh...GF is going thru cancer and he's off on vacation...? Sounds like a self-centered, selfish guy.
It was a new relationship and his son also needs him present to create memories.
I personally think than when Adam lost the weight, that is when things changed. He met her when he was fat and married her when he was fat. And she loved him when he was fat. But as soon as he lost the weight, his head got big. I feel bad for her...cause I think she is doing whatever she can to hold a family together.
Florinda Collins, definitely!
I think arrangements like this can work until someone gets a boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s when it will fall apart.