Boarding schools create bereaved abused children who lack empathy and then run the country
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- Опубликовано: 19 апр 2017
- Channel 4 News 11 April 2017
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I had nightmares about this until I was 40 - no sexual abuse but a vicious bullying, harsh and violent environment which ruined my emotional life - at 74 this still want to make me cry.
I'd never send my kiddo away. That's crazy. Fancy trusting strangers with your child. My God.
A child sent away at such an early age becomes 'divorced', as it were, from their family.
its child abuse sending kids away nothing less
It's not boarding schools who create bereaved, abused children. It's parents who choose to abandon their children by sending them to be 'cared for' by strangers.
Read John Bowlby's trilogy, 'Attachment'.
I find it strange that 'Boarding School Action' and 'Boarding School Survivors' do not seem to be aware of their parents' dominant role in this terrible scheme. Well, I don't really find it strange because i was sent to a religious boarding school before I turned four and it was only after years of psychotherapy that I realised that the implacable anger I felt at the nuns at that school, really was anger I was diverting from my parents. So I very much understand that, having lost everything as the professor correctly describes, . . . one is not equipped to think clearly.
And of course, the victims grow up believing it was for their own good and they desperately try to give their children the same 'advantages' they had.
Before 4???
I hated every second of boarding school, it made me detest my parents and wider family, and now they all wonder why I lost any kind of respect for them. Hard to repair those relationships, but at least boarding school teaches you to trust no one, and depend entirely on yourself......
How old were you when y ou went t o boarding school
Amen brother, trust no one. The one universal truth in life.
Never trust nobody my dad told me and boarding school reinforced this. Not good for relationships afterwards.
Yes it er.. made me the man I am now. No seriously it was a bloody disaster, listen to Alex and everyone else! Thanks for posting.
What a price to pay for potential success.
Watching Mr Snow ... I think he can really relate to this .. I wonder what happened to him and how he was effected.
I keep thinking about all the young boarders who are home because of the pandemic. Are they relieved to be at home?
I purposely got chicken pox from another student just so they would send me home for two weeks and thats after running away 2 previous times. this pandemic would have been heaven
Parents abandoning their children and parental responsibility
I don't know how this lady from the Orwellian-titled Independent Schools Council (actually the Private Schools Council) thinks that these places have changed over the last forty years. Five masters from my old school were recently sent to jail for sexual abuse in the 1990s, and it appears that they were released from their duties at the time without the police being involved and so went on to teach elsewhere. Children in institutions, of any sort, are always likely to be more at risk from predators than those at day school by the very nature of their removal from their parents and familiar surroundings.
She's an utter unt. Like all of those types. Can't answer a question straight to save herself, and denies all facts.
She's just protecting the old firm. The other lady is correct.
Calling boardings schools 'happy' places is a huge red flag. The children learn to fake being happy because to show sadness and homesickness makes you vulnerable and a target for bullying.
These emotionally bereaved people become parents with no empathy - who then damage their own children emotionally
They then can't cope with children, especially when they get to the age they were when they started boarding school, so they sent them to boarding school too. Because they are then faced with a normal child, not an institutionalised one.
Boarding schools should be shut down. An absolutely deplorable concept.
The idea of boarding school sounds horrific ,it’s a form of child abuse and they shouldn’t be allowed to operate.
We’ve stopped sending children down chimneys so surely the schools should go as well and the most frightening thing is that a lot of children who went to these school ran and run the country.
They also run the media as well which is reading newspapers and magazines, and watching TV is often so soul destroying.
fuck, i went to Ashdown myself from 8 years old and it’s completely different now but i can’t even imagine what he went through, just horrible
Thanks for this.
No abuse but at the mercy of an antiquated school. Very old fashioned. You learn to internalize things, you learn quickly about people.
Its a long process trying to recover from those formative years in a hostile environment.
The only time I was sent to the headmaster was because I was caught kissing a girl in the Library! Haha. I can remember his exact words to me - "There are OTHER schools......" hah ha
Hi - very very interesting little film that sparks so many big and incredibly important questions... I started watching thinking that I went to boarding school but was pretty pleased with the outcome... by the end I see that what the film and the people in it are trying to say is so much more subtle and important than that, and that some failures I recognise in myself are things I could much better address by looking into this more. Thanks v.
Congratulations! I found that looking very valuable. but it was painful. keep going. It's worth the pain.
Yes, pretty much the only thing I learnt from ten years at an English boarding school was the code of silence - you don't "clat" or dob in your mates or your group. The code of silence. Hahah.
Very interesting thanks
Made me realized how fucked up the last 3 years of my life are.
In the USA, except for that malignancy in the White House today, almost all of our presidents and legislators were/are lawyers. That explains why everything in Washington is competitive and cutthroat and always involves lots and lots of money flowing upwards.
The guilty feels about not getting Justice and that the abuser could go on abusing other children is relatable to me my older siblings went to a high school and we'd go there often to visit it or pick them up was a private School the son of the principal who was also a student abused me sexually when I was in 3rd grade so I was a little kid and he got away with it even after I reported him and he never got in trouble not even by his parents and they knew what was going on and acted like they didn't know what went on and the school still running it pisses me the f*** off and now I'm going to be twenty-three in 2 months and I still feel hurt by the entire situation
Stay strong baby girl
That is truly shocking!!
Mar : Having been sexually abused I can recomend EMDR therapy; and that's coming from someone deeply cynical having been to various therapists/councilors etc. EMDR can be done via skype/zoom but it is perhaps best to at least have a few sessions face to face. [To take ownership and responsibility for your life I also suggest The Work by Byron Katie. It's a bit more 'in the head', or mind; whereas EMDR is both a physical experience as well as a rewiring 'the story' - your story] I wish you good fortune, health + happiness. 'The greatest revenge is to live well'.
I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you can report what happened. I you can there will be at least a record of it, and action may at sometime be taken. Good luck with everything.
I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you can report what happened. If you can there will be at least a record of it, and action may at sometime be taken. Good luck with everything.
So is the police going to do anything? It still goes on. No, they won't.
Interesting...
Janissary come to mind.
Vote for me. My name is Kerry Grigg and I am a member of the liberal democrat party. I am going to close all the boarding schools and they will become comprehensive day schools like all others. Ask Jesus into your hearts.
Fuck off
I like boarding school! But I started at 11
Come back in 15 years and see how you feel.
I always said I enjoyed boarding school (started same age) but I never did I wanted my family not strangers. I felt alone
A sensible age. 7 is far too young. I worked in a boarding school and found it to be a warm and friendly place.
Julie Robinson you are deluded
To be fair, boarding schools now are a lot different compared to older generations.
Lots of people are there for only a year, maybe two tops and it's a hell of a lot more open.
The education, usually, is still one of the best you can get